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Published:
2026-05-13
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#rozahollanders

Summary:

David: Yuna's making that pasta that you like. Do you want to come over for dinner? We know you're in Montreal.

David: (Picture of Yuna Hollander making pasta)

Ilya: i'd love to!

Ilya: shane won't be there?

David: He's got a press thing with the team tonight.

David: I'd hate for you to have to spend the evening alone.]

marcella @teletubbytelenovela
uhm guys…… i really hope this isn't what it looks like but is ilya rozanov in a secret throuple with shane hollander's parents?

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

marcella @teletubbytelenovela

[Photo of Ilya Rozanov's phone taken from over his shoulder:

David: Yuna's making that pasta that you like. Do you want to come over for dinner? We know you're in Montreal.

David: (Picture of Yuna Hollander making pasta)

Ilya: i'd love to!

Ilya: shane won't be there?

David: He's got a press thing with the team tonight.

David: I'd hate for you to have to spend the evening alone.]

uhm guys…… i really hope this isn't what it looks like but is ilya rozanov in a secret throuple with shane hollander's parents?

 

bella @buckybearapologist

okay i never thought that i was going to share this but i absolutely have seen Ilya Rozanov out on what in hindsight was clearly a date with Yuna and David Hollander #rozahollanders

[Slightly blurry photo of Ilya, wearing sunglasses and a beanie indoors, laughing with Yuna and David in a corner booth of a restaurant, David's arm is around Ilya and Ilya is grabbing Yuna's arm.]

 

me me big boy @RamenSink

Oh thank God, I'm not the only one that has seen these three out in the wild. Hollander's parents were in Boston when the Metros weren't even playing the Bears. #rozahollanders

[Zoomed in photo of Yuna and David at a farmer's market in Boston, Ilya looking at the booth next to them.]

 

Emily -w- @emmyboo__

Okay get it Mr. and Mrs. Hollander! #rozahollanders

> Stream impravidus @ollieoopsie

have you seen yuna and david hollander? get it ilya rozanov #rozahollanders

 

E @shipskicksandgiggles

as hilarious as it would be for ilya rozanov to be the shane hollander's parents' third, have you considered that they know each other through shane?

> Valerie @bostonbabe81

Obviously they have not. They're too entranced by the idea Ilya is getting that MILF/DILF action that they're using their cooches and not their brains

 

Ty @tylerthecreamer

I hate these delusional fangirls forcing their disgusting fantasies on us. Ilya Rozanov is straight and he definintely isn't in a polywhatever

> garima @sussiebakka

ilya rozanov has literally said that he has partaken in numerous threesomes but suddenly when it's not about sex it's "a disgusting fantasy?" ok.

 

lilianna @puckbunnypickme

@IlyaRozanov any comment? #rozahollanders

 

Jane: Pick up.

Jane: Have you seen Twitter?

Jane: Are you with my mom right now? We need to draft a statement NOW.

Lily: what is it? i was in middle of enjoying delicious spaghetti and hearing embarassing stories about little shane hollander

Jane: Shut up. No you weren't.

Lily: yes, dave was just telling me about getting put in the bin during your first scrimmage

Jane: Okay, first of all, Darren didn't know how to hold a stick and sharing is caring does not apply to someone on the opposing team

Jane: Second, check Twitter.

Lily: fuck.

Lily: rozahollanders? they know about us? how did they find out?

Jane: No. Worse.

Lily:

Lily: this is hilarious

Jane: No it's not!!

Jane: The internet thinks you're dating my parents!

Lily: they think i'm doing more than date

Jane: Disgusting.

Jane: I don't want to think about that. Ever.

Lily: is a little funny no?

Jane: No, it's not funny. We need to shut this down.

Lily: even if you do, no one will believe. they get idea in their head and they sprint with it.

Jane: *run with it. And the least you do is say that you're not FUCKING MY MOM AND DAD

Lily: fine fine

Lily: how you want to play this without revealing too much about us?

Jane: Just say we're friends.

Lily: you and me? secret friends? how scandalous

Jane: Fuck off.

 

Ilya Rozanov @IlyaRozanov

as great as the Hollanders are, they are like family to me not lovers. i only know Yuna and David through their second best at hockey son. you think we are on the same ice for decade and not talk?

 

bella @buckybearapologist

so rozanov's statement was super sus right?

 

marcella @teletubbytelenovela

there's a difference between talking and going to the farmer's market with his parents

 

E @shipskicksandgiggles

i literally don't know how much more clear they can be. this is the only explanation that makes sense

> Emily -w- @emmyboo__

Just because it makes sense doesn't make it true. Picture: Shane and Ilya meet on the ice but Yuna & David & Ilya meet off the ice. Forbidden star crossed love or something idk. It's almost 2AM

 

Stream impravidus @ollieoopsie

consider: ilya rozanov is actually with shane hollander and his parents are his in laws

> garima @sussiebakka

girl careful. the shaydens are gonna come after you

 

Shane Hollander @ShaneHollander24

Ilya Rozanov and I have known each other for many years and he has become a good friend of mine. He is in no way involved, romantically or sexually, with my parents.

> Valerie @bostonbabe81

Very convincing, Shane.

 

lilianna @puckbunnypickme

ilya rozanov needs one of those blackout screen protectors

[Photo of Ilya Rozanov's phone taken from his side:

David: Thanks for visiting this weekend, bud! We're always happy to have you.

(Attached is three (3) photos:

  1. Yuna, David, and Ilya together in a heated debate over the card game sprawled out in front of them

  2. Ilya giving a cheeky thumbs up as he mixes a colorful cocktail with a wooden spoon, Yuna stirring a pot behind him and David cutting vegetables

  3. Ilya and Shane kissing, the two smiling against each other's lips and fingers intertwined by their sides. Yuna and David are seen in the reflection of the glass behind them, smiling softly at them.

 

Stream impravidus @ollieoopsie

well shit

Notes:

this is so silly and it is So Late. i can barely keep my eyes open

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