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Wemmbu could admit, his mental health can be compared to a 12 year old soggy wet burrito. His head always hurt, his stomach feels sick at the thought of eating, and maybe his ‘friends’ are starting to hate him. It’s a another normal day for him, again. There’s no point of trying to change it, anyways.
A small gasp of air came from him as he woke up suddenly. Another nightmare, isn’t it?
The house was silent, only the cool air from the window and the sound of the bed creaking from his movement was the only thing accompanying him in his pathetic house. His tense figure relaxed once he woke up, and his expression turned calm again. It was early in the morning, and he couldn’t continue back to sleeping. He gave up at trying to force himself to do that and stepped outside his house.
The figure stepping out of the door, which he called himself (even though his body couldn’t even be recognised as his anymore), shivered at the cool breeze hitting his skin. The town was silent, and the moon shimmering through the night was oddly a satisfying sight.
The sound of little pebbles among the road and his shoeless feet walked to the other side of town. The bushes rustling and the wind seemingly getting stronger. It felt nice being alone for once, nobody was there except his figure’s shadow. He scanned his sorroundings, and something seemed to catch his eye. A vibrant lilac, glowing in the dark. This might seem artificial or someone put chemicals on it, but it was a beautiful scene, to say the least.
He continued walking throughout the town, his footsteps making a small sound. (That rhymed holy sh)
It started to feel quite cold, maybe he should have brought a hoodie with him atleast, not just his thin t-shirt, his embarrassing gummy bear pajamas, and absolutely no shoes. He faced his arms for a moment, he still had his faded red scars on them. Good, this isn’t another hallucination or dream. He is quite glad for that.
There were no clouds in sight. The moon shimmered with it’s light, seems like it’s a full moon this night. Maybe his eyes are getting sensitive from light because he hadn’t left his house whenever it’s daytime but is it just him? Or the light from the moon felt blinding. Maybe it might just be him, but it was sort of beautiful in a way it was indescribable. It was like a glowing star in the night.
Flowers sorrounded a specific area pond in the area, purple hyacinths. A child must have played with them and added a design sorrounding it. Wow, even a child was even better at things than him, a teenager turning 18 in a few days. He isn’t what they deserved, or wanted. He shouldn’t be complaining why he’s so talentless and pathetic.
Someone emerged from the shadows, someone so familiar it felt like it hit something inside of him. Was that- no it isn’t. E-Egg..? Of course not! He’s just fooling himself like the idiot he is. Haha! This is not funny.
It seemed to get closer, ‘it’ didn’t have an expression, weirdly. It’s face was emotionless, and apatethic. He couldn’t describe it. It’s face seemed blurred, or swirled. He’s right! It’s just him fooling himself again for no absolute reason. The figure stopped moving, and Wemmbu walked towards the strange familiar man slowly and cautious, as if it was a dangerous experiment that is good at intimidation.
Once he moved close enough to ‘him?’ He finally had the courage to speak to the strange figure that felt familiar.
“Egg? Is that..you?” His voice just above a whisper, almost low enough for no one to hear, and raspy due to not being used for so long. He didn’t understand, or even want to try to at all. Everything seemed to get turned into a blur everything except him. Didn’t he take his meds? As far as he knew, he did. And maybe he did not. Whatever, he wouldn’t want to overload and almost kill himself again, and if he did, he would make it intentional.
Egg turned and held an expression of disgust, as he faded into the dark. Suddenly, everything was sucked out and the only thing left was a white void. It seemed peaceful, but nothing like the beauty of the dark skies and beautiful scenery of the town. He didn’t seem to mind the fact he was taken here, and even glad he was. Seeing the only person he considered as a “friend” holding the same face his parents looked at him. He didn’t want to remember that. Never again.
Something felt odd, was it only him or the pure white void seemed to get darker by every second that he stays here? Maybe his mind is just fooling him again or- nevermind. It is getting way darker by the second. His breath hitched, and his body started to shiver, weirdly. He was quite concerned over this, but he felt like he didn’t have the need to question it.
The world turned dark, as the same words repeated inside his head.
You failed
You failed
You failed
You failed
You failed
You failed
You don’t deserve anyone
no
no
no.
The same thing. Repeated in Wemmbu’s head over and over again.
His breath hitched, and his mind felt fogged. He couldn’t understand a single thing whatsoever on what is happening. Maybe he had this same dream before, but it gets him in an even worse state everytime. Everything felt like a cycle. Have a nightmare, wake up, suffer, and then sleep. Everything and everyone never even bothered to care, and they were right all along.
His hands were tightly clawed on his head, it hurt alot, but never enough to draw a single amount of blood. Why couldn’t this dream- no nightmare, end already? Hasn’t he suffered enough? He feels like a bird locked in a cage, self-infliction would mean getting himself in the hospital because he couldn’t just die already. He hates how nobody cared about him, but he also hated someone pitying him. He just couldn’t decide what he hates or likes.
A bird chirped in the distance. Suddenly, he was awake. The morning sun’s light shadowed across his dark house, the light hitting his face. His eyes struggled to adjust to it. He sat on his bed, and slowly stood up. He stared at the emptiness of his fridge with a stern expression. I’m not hungry. He thought to himself, he stepped out of his house and the sun was jusr barely rising. He was pretty early today, isn’t he?
He felt a heavy burden in his chest again, the same one he has carried for pretty much the majority of his entire life. As much as he wanted to just sleep forever in a good dream or not leave bed, he can’t. The others would get worried and he doesn’t want to make anyone feel worried about someone like him.
The loud sounds of children playing and the bright sunny sky didn’t feel like the ideal day Wemmbu would like. But he can’t fight the weather so that’s his problem for the rest of the day until theres a sudden change of the atmosphere. He walked across the road to PrinceZam stand with a slouched posture.
Zam waved at him with a small but smug grin, weirdly, she seemed glad that Wemmbu was outside. And then he remembered, he’s been leaving his house eitherly extremely early in the morning or extremely late in the evening.
The last time he’s had a proper waking up time was around a few weeks ago. Not really a problem for him, though. He was fine in the dark, even if he’d get called a vampire by the kids playing in the street.
“Hey, Wemmbu! It’s been a while since I’ve seen you around town. What’s been going on?” Zam asked, with a small hint of concern in her voice. Wemmbu hoped they really didn’t start to get on about whatever is up with him. She seemed nice enough to care, atleast.
His eyes widened slightly to the appearance of Zam, but his expression remained tired and static. He waved a little and began walking towards her stand. His body started to struggle at moving faster, maybe his sudden loss of appetite everyday has started to affect him alot. Oh well!
“You know, since Egg stopped being friends with you, you’ve somehow gotten even worse. I really don’t care, but people have started to avoid my stand because they say I’m friends with you. And it’s turning into my problem too.” Her expression wasn’t anything negative about him, and was only saying what the others thought of him, not that Zam hated Wemmbu, of course. He couldn’t tell, but maybe she did.
“Oh, sorry. I’ll stop.” Wemmbu just made a small smile and nodded. He began walking in a different direction.
That’s what he always did with these types of things. He felt sick in the stomach this time, definitely not because of his lack of eating but what Zam said. He knew she cared, but she didn’t say it. He felt good about that, but did not decide to talk about it.
Maybe going somewhere else will help, right? The sound of a small bell ringing near Flame’s ’s store, yeah there instead- nevermind. Flame didn’t want someone like Wemmbu near his store, and he doesn’t want to get him mad about him. He’ll just make everything even worse for everyone.
Something hit in him. He didn’t feel quite great. Everything turned so dull and colorless, everything felt sick, he should go home now. He walked faster than he should have, and everyone suddenly dissapeared out of sight. But Wemmbu didn’t seem to care. He just needed to go home, now.
The door was shut, and everything went back to normal. The small picture of him and Egg sat near his table. And the thought of what happened began to repeat in his mind. He started to hyperventilate again. His head started to hurt even more, and everything seemed to be staring at him.
The long, slender hands of his were gripping his arms so tight it was enough to draw an almost large amount of blood. It hurt, but he couldn’t bring himself to try to stop it he struggled to breath, and everything turned colorless again. Until- the small picture of him and Egg fell from it’s awkward position. His head turned, and it was there on the floor.
He wanted to interact with it, but something inside his chest always hurt when he saw it. So he decided to leave it alone. For now. It was still sunny outside, since it’s in the middle of the after noon. His house was much colder, and it felt better inside. Even since he was kid, he didn’t like playing outdoors, maybe that’s why he has terrible social skills now.
The air conditioner near his bed made a small sound, it’s strange sounds from now and then gave a small feeling of reassurance. He couldn’t figure out why, but it was comforting to say the least. He laid onto his bed, and closed his eyes. Darkness swallowed his vision and he went to sleep.
Suddenly, he was teleported to Void knows where. He checked his body, it was pitch black. And everything looked like the colors in a 1950’s television show. The place he was teleported to seemed much more melancholy than most of the so called ‘dreams’ he has every night when he sleeps. It almost seemed, normal. But he couldn’t let his guard down, everything in his dreams would always get to a bad point. It’ll just pretend your finally wt peace then it’ll torment you until you wake up.
There we a few portals. Exactly, three. He walked his way to the one in the middle, maybe this one was the right one? It probably isn’t. Nothing is right whenever it comes to him and his decisions in life. Once he entered, he saw the light of the limbo, and everything had color again.
It was an exact replicate of the house that Wemmbu and Egg made on Minecraft. The game he used to play with Egg. It was his favorite game. Why- was Wemmbu teleported here in the first place anyways? Oh. Him. Why is that oddly familiar figure in the distance, ever since Egg ended the friendship, almost all of his dreams have been centered at him. Why was he so obsessed? This is nobody wanted him, it’s about time Egg had gotten sick over his antics.
His body felt much heavier than usual, and his sore wrists screamed at him. But he didn’t want to look at them, looking at them made his stomach drop. A weird red orange tint of the sky was quite blinding, as he tried to make his eyes focus on the scenery infront of him, not the sky. Wasn’t the sky supposed to be blue?