Chapter Text
“Damn, you’re still here?”
Jay looks up briefly from where he’s hunched over at his station, he hears a faint voice over the sound of Coldplay blasting in his headphones that sat snug over his ears, muting the world outside.
The sound of a door creaks and a voice, half-surprised, cut through the silence. “I thought you left already.”
Jay pauses his hands briefly from where they are working meticulously, and flickers his eyes toward the clock — It’s already 10 p.m.? It seems like the hours have slipped past. With a small sigh, he pulled one side of his headphone off and turned slightly, his fingers still dusted with clay.
“Lost track of time.” Jay mumbled, finally standing up even as his muscles protested, aching from all the hours he had sat down.
The male at the door finally stepped into the room, the dim light illuminating from the corner of the room spills onto his features, a head of black disheveled hair comes into view, the glasses on his face looking like they’re about to slip off.
“Long day?” Jay chuckles as he slips his headphones completely off, going to grab a towel to wipe his dirty hands with.
“You wouldn’t believe it. It’s fucking driving me nuts, I’m usually good with physics but damn this week’s lecture hit me like a truck.” The male groans, he closes his eyes and slumps down rather loudly on one of the chairs near the Jay.
Sim Jaeyun, or as Jay likes to call him, Jake, his best friend and also the biggest pain in his ass — loves to visit him whenever he can’t find him at the dorm they share, and today, unfortunately, is one of those days.
One of those days where Jay finds himself confined in the studio, seated at his station long after everyone had left, apron dirtied with clay, hands aching from the dry, cracking residue of his work. He’d usually be out by 7 p.m. but today was a different case because of unforeseeable circumstances that came in the way.
“Why are you still here anyway?” Jake asks, finally opening his eyes.
Jay winces at the reminder but tries to shake it off, focusing instead on the cluttered shelves tucked into the back corner of the studio’s storage closet. “Um, well, my professor dropped by today to tell us we have a project due in a little over a month and a half.,” he calls over his shoulder.
“That’s not new. Don’t you guys have a project like every other month?” Jake says, voice muffled from the distance.
The air is thick with the damp, metallic scent of dirtied clay and old plaster. Jay ducks beneath a low-hanging shelf, fingers brushing past sculpting tools and cracked sketchbooks as he searches for the tag with his name. His unfinished piece sits in his arms, the grooves of its half-formed face pressing against his skin.
“Yeah, but this one’s different. It’s a big one.” A frustrated sigh slips from his lips as he finally finds his spot on the shelf. “Usually by the first week, I’d have something solid, an idea, a structure. I’d be halfway done by now.” He sets the sculpture down carefully, though he wonders if it even deserves the title. Right now, it’s less a work-in-progress and more a lump of clay on the verge of being abandoned.
“Well what’s the theme?” Jake’s voice becomes clear now as Jay walks back into the studio.
Grimacing a bit, Jay throws off his apron before heading over to the sink, “The usual.”
“Oh is it another thing about portraying heartbreak and death?” A stifled laugh comes from behind him and Jay shoots a glare over his shoulder.
“What it’s not my fault you art majors are known for your romanticness and introspectiveness, and sensitivity too if I may add..” Jake rolls his eyes
“Shut up, why the hell are you even here?” Jay grits out, turning around and air drying his hands rather than rubbing it off with a towel, aiming the residue of water right at Jake’s face.
“Asshole.” Jake shouts as he jumps up, barely avoiding the cascading rainfall. “I’m here because I lost my dorm key and you’re the only other person who has it, don’t think I came here for your dumbass.” He glares.
“Of course you did.” Jay scoffs in return, going to grab his bag in the back. “Wait outside, I’ll be out in a minute.”
With a final huff and a mumble of “you’re so fucking slow,” Jake finally leaves.
Carefully placing his things back into his bag, Jay inhales sharply. After hours in the studio, the smell of clay was getting to him. It clung to him — sour, stale, and overstayed — clinging at the edges of his patience, which had already been running thin all week. Even the smallest things had started to get under his skin. Like the other day, Jake was just eating cereal, but the sound of the crunching made Jay snap. He stormed out mid-breakfast, not bothering to explain.
Maybe he was just tired or burnt out or frustrated, but alas that’s what happens in college.
He has always worked hard, has kept his head down, focused on the art. He’d been lucky enough to win a few contests, earn his professor’s praise, even get called one of the most promising students in the department. And for a while, it felt like everything he touched had purpose. But lately, the spark had dulled. The ideas weren’t coming like they used to.
And with the looming project due by the end of the month, Jay wasn’t feeling any better, especially given the fact that this subject, this theme, was something he’d never experimented with before, and worse, something he couldn't seem to draw any inspiration from.
And no, it wasn’t whatever the hell Jake was talking about earlier, heartbreak and death — leave it to the physics major to think that all art is about, Jay mentally rolls his eyes. No, this subject was something else entirely, a concept so foreign to Jay that he kept drawing blank whenever he pulled out his sketchbook.
For some reason, no matter how long he stared at the blank sheet, the pen in his hand refused to move. For the past week he’d been getting migraines from the nights he’s spent narrowing down on his paper, hoping the ink would somehow magically form shapes he could create in tangible form.
“Man, you really do look like shit.” Jake comments as Jay finally walks out of the building.
The night’s cold air is heavy, but it’s relieving because for the first time in hours, Jay finally breathes in fresh air that’s not covered in the smell of clay and metal. A small breeze brushes through his hair, pushing his bangs back slightly, a slight chill creeps over his skin as he tugs at the sleeves of the sweater.
“Thanks, I didn’t notice.” The male mumbles as he tosses Jake the key to their dorm, done with his roommate's shenanigans, it’s been a long day.
“No seriously, you’re as pale as a vampire. You’ve been cooped up in that studio for nearly twenty-four hours.” The male besides him nudges his shoulder as they fall into step besides one another.
“I probably look like shit because I feel like shit.” Jay groans, running a hand frustratedly through his hair.
“What’s been on your mind?” Jake asks, his voice missing that fiery tone that Jay’s used to hearing and for a moment he feels as though this was one of those rare occasions where his friend will relent on his snarky comments.
“It’s nothing.” Jay brushes off as they make a familiar turn to the block of their dorm building.
Jake stays silent beside him, and the sound of the hollow wind outside only needles at Jay’s already thin patience. Jake knows silence is the quickest way to get him to talk and he’s good at using it to his advantage.
After three more beats of silence, Jay finally relents with an exasperated sigh. “Fine. It’s the theme Professor O dropped on us,” he says, voice clipped. “It’s just... different, like it’s not the kind of thing you can force. And I’ve been sitting in that studio for hours trying to make something out of nothing.”
He kicks at a loose rock on the pavement, more frustrated with himself than anyone else.
Silence follows before Jake finally peeps, “And what exactly is the theme? Maybe I can help.”
Jay glances sideways, a forced smile tugging at his lips, one he’s sure looks more constipated than amused.
“This isn’t something you can just brainstorm like a group project, Jake.” he says, stuffing his hands deeper into his sweater pockets. “It’s not that simple.”
Jake hums, unconvinced but not pushing.
Jay doesn’t answer right away. He keeps walking, eyes fixed ahead, the streetlights casting soft pools of orange over the pavement.
His jaw tightens. “I just don’t know how to make something real out of an idea I barely understand myself.”
That’s all he offers. A breadcrumb, barely, but it’ll do for the night. Because really, how was he supposed to turn to his roommate and ask, “Hey, any tips on sculpting the idea of love?”
Though that wasn’t exactly what the theme was… but it’s what Jay categorizes it as. Because how is he supposed to tell his roommate that the theme they’ve been given—love, or some vague interpretation of it—is the one thing he has no clue how to sculpt?
It’s not because the idea is too abstract, but because it’s never been real to him. It’s never been something tangible, something he’s seen. Because well…
He’s never been in love. He’s never even come close.
So how the hell is he supposed to create something he’s never known?
Three nights later finds Jay in the darkness of his room, the only light coming from the harsh glow of his phone screen, illuminating his face in a blinding glare.
He’s slouched in his bed, resting his head against the headboard as he stares at his phone. He’s been searching for inspiration for what felt like forever and after hours he finally stumbles upon something that just might spark the inspiration he’s been desperately searching for.
“Maybe to experience love, we must first envision what we want.” The person in the video’s voice is muffled, Jay tries to keep his volume down, afraid he’d wake up Jake who’s peacefully snoring a couple feet away from him.
Envision what he wants.
That should be easy enough, right? One second. Then two minutes.
...Yeah. Nothing.
He draws blank again.
Jay groans under his breath, tossing the phone aside and rubbing his eyes, the strain from staring at the screen seeping into his skull.
This is fucking stupid, he thinks. How the hell is he supposed to envision something he’s never cared about? Sure, he’s been on dates, had flings, the typical university experience but none of them ever made his heart race or made him fall in love.
This was pointless, maybe he should just whip up some sculpture of a heart and call it a day but he knew damn well he wouldn’t do that, not when his entire portfolio has been a mosaic of art that had pieces of him in it, he was never the type to half ass a piece of art out of convenience.
Sighing into the sheets, Jay finally decides to relent to rest, turning over until he’s on his stomach, face squished against his pillow as he stares at the night stand besides his bed, the clock flashing two a.m., his vision is blurry given how shitty his eyesight is but he can still make out the faint strays of moonlight that filters through the cracks of the blinds from the window.
Slowly, sleep begins to overtake him, drowsiness weighing heavy on his eyelids despite his best efforts to keep them open. His mind drifts back to the project, to the theme, to love — love, such a strange and foreign concept, but Jay would be lying if he said he didn’t want to experience it.
Of course, he wanted to experience it — the way people talked about it, the way it could make you feel both vulnerable and invincible at the same time. He wanted to understand what it meant when they said love could lift you higher than you ever imagined, but also drag you down until you felt like you were drowning. That push and pull, the contradictions, the burning desire to both surrender and hold on.
He wanted to know what all the fuss was about. Wanted to know if a person could ever make him so weak that he can’t help but feel love for them—if that person even existed, of course. Jay wouldn’t be surprised if he was a part of that batch who’d be single for the rest of their lives, given his luck.
But being single, that’s all Jay has ever really known. It’s a state of being he’s always gravitated toward, finding comfort in his own little bubble, tucked away from the chaos of relationships and expectations. He’s always been this way, content in his solitude, not needing anyone to complete him. Being alone was easy; it was familiar. There was no heartache, no pressure to fit into some idealized version of love that everyone else seemed so obsessed with.
In fact, Jay has learned to relish the quiet moments, the freedom that came with not having to share his thoughts or emotions with anyone. He could come and go as he pleased, carve out his own space without worrying about anyone else’s needs.
And yet, somewhere deep down, there's a gnawing curiosity, a question that lingers like an itch he can't quite scratch: what would it be like to experience something more?
But alas, that’s a question he’ll find an answer to tomorrow, for now he’ll go to sleep.
His eyes finally flutter shut, darkness washing over his vision before a sudden image pierces through the blackness, jolting him awake.
A flash of soft, tousled hair, warm brown eyes that seem to shimmer, lips that look almost too soft to be real. Fair skin tinged with the faintest flush of pink, a jawline with a soft curve so distinct, it could belong to no one that existed in this world.
Jay’s eyes snap open, and the image vanishes, leaving panic clawing at him like a vice. He scrambles in his sheets, shutting his eyes again, desperately willing the vision to return.
And then it does—thankfully. Round eyes, full cheeks, soft contours. Without thinking, Jay gets out of bed, his hands trembling as he grabs the sketchbook from his nightstand. He flicks on the lamp beside him, the sudden light harsh against the darkness of the room. He hears Jake groan from across the room, but Jay doesn't care. He’ll apologize tomorrow, right now, nothing can hold back the surge of inspiration crashing over him.
He starts drawing before he’s even settled back onto his bed, hands moving faster than his brain can keep up. A faint outline of a face appears, then the details—brown eyes and soft lips.
Jay exhales shakily,
He might’ve just figured out what he wants to do for this project.
The next day, Jay finds himself in the studio at the break of dawn, the soft light filtering through the windows. He grabs half a bagel, barely tasting it with the way his mind is already racing ahead. The sketchbook is clutched tightly in his hand as he rushes to the art building.
He stands before his station as he sets down the sketchbook. Clay, cool and heavy, is piled in front of him. He grabs a handful, molding it, feeling the texture as it shifts between his fingers. He presses the first lump of clay onto the sculpting stand before smoothing it out slowly, almost reverently, coaxing it into shape.
The pressure of the clay against his palms is cool yet the image is still burning in his mind. Layer by layer, he begins to sculpt, his hands working instinctively as the outline of a face starting to form. The features are a bit blurry at first, rough and undefined but with each pull and shift, the face starts to come alive.
The process is messy, his hands are covered in dirtied clay, his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, but Jay doesn’t mind. There’s something calming about the rhythm, the way the clay responds to him molding itself under his fingertips as if it knows exactly what he’s trying to create. The more he works, the more the image takes shape, and the more the face becomes familiar to the one he pictured.
His heart races as he realizes he's sculpting something he never thought he could — an idea that can become something real, something tangible. It's almost like the face in his mind is here, staring back at him from the mound of clay, and for the first time in a long while, Jay feels like he's creating something worth seeing.
“Woah,” Jay snaps out of his reverie at the sound of voices behind him,
He turns slightly to see Heeseung, Jake, and Sunoo—a fellow arts major with a focus in painting—all standing behind him, gawking quietly at his work.
Shit, has it been that long since he’s been in the studio? He looks around to see that nearly the whole class is here, each at their own station working on their respective projects.
“Holy fuck dude, is this why you literally ran out the dorm this morning?” Jake gawks, looking more in awe than Jay has ever seen him from all the times he’s shown him his work.
“This is amazing.” Heeseung says, equally in awe.
“They don’t call him one of the most promising students of our department for no reason.” Sunoo quips.
“It’s not finished yet,” Jay mumbles sheepishly, turning back to focus on his piece, slightly uncomfortable with the attention he was beginning to garner from tables around them.
“Finished or not, this is amazing.” Heeseung continues, walking around to assess the work.
“Thanks.” Jay manages to say as he presses his thumb against the slope of the sculpture's jaw, struggling to find the right shape. He had been so focused on the front view of the sculpture, images of the side from last night’s vision began to blur. “It was in the spur of the moment, type of thing.”
The three males around him continue to watch for another few minutes as Jay continues to work.
“Say Jay, where did this inspiration come from?” Jake suddenly asks, hands on his hips as he stares at Jay’s sculpture more intently like he’s trying to figure something out.
Jay pauses for a second, falling short when he realizes he doesn’t know, “I don’t know, it just came out of nowhere last night. I was about to fall asleep and all of a sudden flashes of this boy, an image of this person began to flash into my mind.” He says, finally fully comprehending his own thoughts as he’s telling it out loud for the first time.
“Why?” Jay raises an eyebrow when he realizes Jake’s actually analyzing his sculpture like it was a physics problem to be solved.
“I don’t know, it just looks really familiar to something—someone I know, I just can’t remember who.” Jake tilts his head, a quizzical look on his face.
“Now that you say that, it does look like someone I know too.” Sunoo has the same confused look on his face, hands on his hips, lips pursed as he also stares openly at the sculpture.
“Okay…well, I have no idea what you guys are talking about but if you’d excuse me, I’m going back to working.” Jay raises an eyebrow at their strange behavior before pulling his headphones on.
“We’ll leave you alone,” Heeseung chuckles as he grabs the two boys who are still perplexed looking at the sculpture, “just wanted to remind you about the party at Sunghoon’s tonight. He’s expecting you there, we’re expecting you there, you can’t bail on us again.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, I’ll go.” Jay brushes them off.
Once they leave, Jay finds himself staring at his piece of work. This is what he loves about sculpting, he can mold anything to his liking, he can bring to life something that only exists in his brain. There’s something so intimate about this art style, like he’s sharing a part of him that no one knows of. Each gentle caress, each controlling pressure, molding, adding and subtracting clay into controlled portions—there was beauty in it.
There was a soft beauty in the sculpture in his hands that made Jay’s chest tighten, there was a quiet insistent feeling provoked by what it symbolized. For the kind of feeling he had shaped with his own hands but had never truly felt.
Damn, maybe being single for his entire life was really starting to get to him.
“I want to leave.” Jay groans over the blasting music.
There’s a reason why he avoids parties at all cost, and tonight is one of those nights when he realizes just how much he despises them. Not even thirty minutes in and someone had puked all over the floor besides him, barely missing his shoes. The smell of alcohol is intense but the crowd of people in the house is what gets him. The air is stuffy with the smell of liquor, sweaty bodies, and a faint hint of cigarettes.
“Oh come on, you literally just got here!” Jake rolls his eyes, continuing to drag Jay farther down the hall until they reach the kitchen which is thankfully quite empty, save for their friend group at the end of the kitchen island huddled around what seems to be a bowl of fruit punch—finally, something that’s not alcohol, Jay thinks.
“Yo!” Heeseung greets as they approach.
“You actually made it, I thought you’d bail on us again” Sunghoon grins as he dabs both of them up.
“Trust me, I was planning on it until this jerk dragged me out.” Jay glowers at Jake who’s now greeting Sunoo.
“Well, I’m glad you showed up. You should let loose, finals are a couple weeks away, you know, detangle from the stress.” Sunghoon claps his back twice before turning back.
“Do you know when the others are coming?” Heeseung tosses over to Sunoo, trying to project his voice over the music.
“They should be coming soon,” Sunoo says as he looks past them, over the crowd by the living room, eyes squinting as if he could see anything through that blur of swaying drunkens, “Riki texted that they’d be here—oh!” In a blink, Sunoo is leaping off of his seat, shoving past a spaced out Jay, knocking him back into reality.
The older male groans at the ache in his shoulder, turning to scold at the younger one, but his words die in his mouth the moment he comes face to face with brown eyes, tousled hair, and pink lips.
Jay swears his heart left his chest because for a moment, it stopped beating.
“Hey, sorry we’re late!” The male in front of him smiles in apology,
And in that split second, as he watches him smile, Jay feels his heart slam back into place, thrashing in his chest, wild and frantic like an animal set loose.
He grips the counter behind him, fingers tightening as he tries to steady himself, heart pounding with wild, uneven beats. What the hell. Why does it feel like he just ran a 10k? Why the fuck is his chest thudding like this. His pulse races, frantic and sharp, like he’s on the verge of meeting death face to face.
But in reality, he’s face to face with the most angelic human he’s seen alive.
The boy, a few inches shorter than Jay, stands cheerfully greeting those around him. His blond hair looks impossibly soft, his lips full and pink, his skin fair and smooth. The contours of his face are so effortlessly balanced, every feature aligning perfectly, leaving Jay in a momentary stupor.
He’s wearing a soft brownish creamish cardigan that matches the color of his hair and loose black dress pants with a belt accentuating his waist. But, fuck, Jay can’t get over how he looks, so impossibly unhuman and so eerily familiar to—wait a damn minute—he looks exactly like his—
“Oh, Jungwon, I just realized you haven’t met him yet, this is Jay!” Jake’s voice forces him out of his epiphany. “Jay, this is Yang Jungwon.”
Jungwon, that’s his name, the boy now turns back to Jay and all of a sudden Jay can’t breathe, can’t make his body move sensibly when he realizes that this boy, this man, looks exactly like his vision — his sculpture.
His mouth opens, trying to form words but nothing comes out. Fuck, he’s making a fool out of himself, looking like a fish gasping for water on dry land.
“Hi.” Jungwon greets, a giggle eliciting from his lips which become the sole subject of Jay’s vision.
He’s laughing and all of a sudden, that’s everything that Jay can see, all he can hear.
That's when he processes the fact that Jungwon is laughing at him. He knocks out of his stupor in terror when he realizes that Jungwon’s hand has been out for a handshake for a good five seconds now.
“Shit, sorry!” Jay blurts out, hastily thrusting his hand forward. It awkwardly bumps against Jungwon’s knuckles before he finally grasps it.
Soft. Jungwon’s hands are soft; so different from Jay’s, worn and calloused from countless hours spent sculpting. Instinctively, Jay pulls his hand back.
“I mean—hi.” He clears his throat, eyes widening as the realization hits him that the first word he ever said to Jungwon… was a curse.
Another soft laugh escapes Jungwon’s lips and that’s when Jay sees it. A dimple. A dimple that crept onto his cheek, softening his entire expression.
Oh, Jay’s fucked.
“It’s nice to finally meet you.” Jungwon says with a warm smile, “Jake talks about you all the time.”
“Oh, does he now?” Jay raises a brow, attempting to sound nonchalant despite how his brain is going over every possible thing Jake could’ve told Jungwon about him and he can bet all of his money that none of them are good. “Whatever he said, please disregard it entirely.”
Jungwon laughs, “He says you're a sculptor. Art major?”
“Yeah,” Jay replies with a nod, stepping aside as a drunk guy stumbles past, narrowly avoiding a collision on his way to the fridge.
“That’s so cool. I’ve always wanted to learn how to sculpt,” Jungwon says, eyes bright with curiosity. “I took a couple of pottery classes before, totally not the same thing, I know, but still fun.”
There’s something about the genuine curiosity in the boy’s eyes that makes Jay’s heart stumble again in his chest. It’s been a while since he’s spoken to someone like this, someone who actually seems interested in the things he does, not to just make plain conversations.
“Not too far off. You’ve got the clay and the mess, so you’re halfway there.” Jay chuckles, running a hand through his hair.
Jungwon laughs again and Jay thinks it sounds eerily familiar to a fairy’s laugh, he wouldn’t be surprised to find out if the boy is made of pixie dust.
“Maybe you can teach me sometime?” The blond asks, dimples flashing again.
Jay blinks. His mouth opens like he’s about to say something smooth, but all that comes out is a faint, “Yeah, uh, sure.”
He internally cringes, but Jungwon’s smile only widens.
Another thump vibrates in his chest and Jay has to will himself to breathe properly. What the hell is wrong with him right now.
“Won! Wanna get a drink?”
Jay blinks and temporarily he can see the blond boy getting called over by a tall Japanese boy across the room.
He faintly sees Jungwon nod before turning back to Jay.
“It was nice meeting you,” Jungwon smiles sweetly, but he must’ve caught something in Jay’s face because his sentence trails off. He blinks and suddenly he’s giggling softly again, “…Jay.”
And just like that, another loud thump thrashes in Jay’s chest as he stares at the boy who turns around with that same soft smile on his face. Alive, Jay blink. For a moment, Jay can’t help but feel the way his heart seems to beat erratically in his chest, the way his senses seem to have heightened, the way he can feel his pulse quicken. He feels alive in a way he’s never been before.
When Jungwon said that he wanted Jay to teach him how to sculpt, Jay didn’t think he was serious. So imagine his surprise when he sees a familiar figure with blond hair strolling into the studio at the break of dawn.
There are a few other students here already, not a lot but it made Jay feel a bit better that he wasn’t the only one stressing about how the project’s due in a couple weeks and he’s still in the beginning phases of shaping his work.
Jay was in the middle of turning around to grab another piece of clay when he looked up to see Jungwon walking in, he’s wearing loose denim jeans and a gray oversized hoodie. He looks so out of place compared to the other students, dressed in aprons and covered in clay. Jay sees the moment when Jungwon finally spots him, his eyes light up and he’s immediately waving, a smile blossoming on his face as he eagerly mouths a ‘hi’ to Jay, ignoring the stares he gets from the other five students in the room.
Jay chuckles amusedly as he waves the boy over, he watches as Jungwon walks over, narrowly avoiding stray brushes and easels scattered everywhere around the room.
“Good morning.” Jungwon greets with a smile, one that’s far too bright for this early in the day, but Jay finds that he doesn’t mind it.
“Hi, Jungwon.” Jay smiles back, softer than he intended, patting the seat next to him.
Jay’s eyes linger on the way the morning light hits Jungwon’s features, casting a soft glow along his cheekbones. It should be illegal to look this good at seven a.m., Jay thinks absentmindedly.
“Sleep well?” Jungwon asks, adjusting the strap of his bag.
Jay shrugs, still half caught in that stupid smile. “Yeah.”
They lock eyes for a moment too long, long enough for Jay to feel the heat rise to his cheeks. Jungwon’s grin shifts into something more playful, eyes glinting with mischief. “What? Didn’t think I’d actually show up?” The blond boy tilts his head, raising an eyebrow.
“If I’m being honest, not really.” Jay lets out a soft laugh, gaze flickering everywhere but at the male beside him, “Would’ve been kinda disappointing if you didn’t, though.”
“Ouch,” Jungwon says, mirth coloring his voice, he leans just a little closer as he drops his bag by the chair. “So you were hoping to see me.”
Jay looks up, a big mistake because Jungwon’s really close, giving Jay a closer look at how unreal he looks. Not a single blemish on his skin, he looks exactly like the vision Jay had that one night, and Jay finds that he’s more in awe than creeped out by whatever crazy coincidence this was.
“And if I said I was?” Jay raises an eyebrow in return, wondering where the sudden brazenness came out from.
“Then I guess that makes two of us.” Jungwon smirks.
Almost immediately heat pools a furious scarlet up his neck and for the first time since last week, Jay feels the familiar way his heart begins to quicken its rhythm. Screw him for thinking he could outflirt Jungwon. He just hopes the flush in his skin isn’t giving him away.
“So, where do we begin, teacher?” Jungwon asks.
Jay ignores the way Jungwon pulls his own chair closer to him, their knees brushing slightly.
Jay forces his gaze away, flipping open his sketchbook to the rough outlines he made last night, doing anything to keep his hands busy because the alternative is looking at Jungwon again and completely losing track of his thoughts again.
“You ever sculpted anything before?” Jay asks, nudging the sketchbook between them.
“Only in elementary school,” Jungwon grins, resting his chin in one hand. “Pretty sure it was just a lopsided cat.”
Jay hums, pretending to inspect him like a critic. “Mm. Doesn’t sound promising.”
Jungwon gasps in mock offense, nudging Jay’s shoulder lightly. “Rude. I thought teachers were supposed to be supportive.”
Jay chuckles under his breath, trying to play it cool, but he’s already memorizing how soft Jungwon’s laugh sounds up close. “You’re lucky I’m a patient one then.”
He rips out a single sheet from his notebook before handing Jungwon it.
“Okay, no more fooling around.” He raises an eyebrow.
“Aye, aye, captain.” Jungwon nods, suddenly looking serious which elicits a soft laugh from Jay.
They fall into a rhythm. Jay shows him how to knead the clay, how to press lightly when shaping curves, how to let the material guide the shape rather than force it. Jungwon listens—really listens—and Jay finds himself forgetting the weight of nerves that usually come with letting someone into his world.
Every now and then, their hands brush — once, twice — and neither of them mentions it, but Jay doesn’t move away.
“You’re really good at this, you know?” Jungwon says as Jay presses his hand against the softness of the clay.
Thank god he wasn’t working on the other sculpture—the one that looked eerily like Jungwon. How the hell would he explain that? How could he possibly tell him he had a clay figure that looked exactly like him without making it sound like he was some kind of stalker? Honestly, if a guy he'd just met a week ago said, “Oh, I had a vision of you and decided to sculpt you, even though we’ve never met,” Jay would be freaked out.
Instead, he was working on another piece. One where there are two faces of a pair of lovers, lips cracked and reaching for one another, a piece that he has been working on for a while now.
“Thanks, you’re not too bad yourself.” Jay chuckles, he turns over to see Jungwon assessing the cat sculpture they created over the past hour.
“Yeah, this is definitely better than the one I made in fifth grade.” Jungwon says, there’s a small smile on his lips as he leans down, inspecting the piece and Jay fights the smile that tries to rip its way onto his lips.
“Don’t say that, I bet it was cute.” Jay says.
Jungwon laughs softly, shaking his head. "It was... not cute. Let's just say it didn't look much like a cat." He stands up straight, stretching with a satisfied sigh. "Well, I’ve got to head out, got some stuff to take care of for the music department." He grabs his bag, slinging it over his shoulder casually.
Jay blinks in surprise, “Music department?”
“Yeah, I’m a music major, with a concentration in vocal performance so I guess you could say I’m a singer, I produce music sometimes.” Jungwon says with a shrug like it wasn’t a big deal.
“I had no idea you could sing.” The dark haired male says, watching as Jungwon gets up, dusting his apron before taking it off.
“I guess you do now,” Jungwon grins, giving a playful wink. “Gotta run, though. I’ll see you around, Jay.”
Jay watches, almost helplessly, as the younger man gathers his things, dusting off his hands. It’s then that Jay realizes how strange it is, hours have passed without him even noticing. It’s already a quarter past two, and they’ve been here for at least seven hours, but it doesn’t feel like nearly enough time. Jungwon’s presence was so easy, so effortless, that Jay didn’t realize how comfortable he felt. And for the first time in his entire life, Jay realizes that he doesn’t mind not being alone.
“What do you think about Jungwon?”
Jay looks up from where he’s perched on his chair, legs crossed and guitar in hand, absent-mindedly picking a random tune.
Raising an eyebrow in perplexity Jay glances at his roommate, “What?”
“Just asking, I know y’all just met but what do you think of him?” Jake tosses coolly as he furiously scribbles away, he’s writing his report for hours now with Jay aimlessly playing tunes in the background.
It takes a minute for Jay to gather his thoughts on what to say, “I mean, he’s nice.” He says though it sounds more like a question than a statement.
Jake pauses for a second before the sound of continuous scribbles resume, “That’s it?”
Jay scoffs as he puts his guitar down, “What do you mean that’s it?” Eyes narrowing down the back of his roommate's head.
“I dunno, I heard he went to sculpt with you last week, thought it meant something since you know, you don’t really let anyone into that world of yours.” The Australian mumbles, flipping the page of his packet though from the tone of his voice, Jay knows what he’s implying.
“We’re just—” Jay pauses when he realizes he doesn’t know what he and Jungwon are, they weren’t acquaintances but were they friends? Jay’s beginning to realize now that he doesn’t know much about the boy. They were so immersed in the studio last week they didn’t get to talk about in-depth stuff.
He realizes that he trailed off when he sees Jake turning around, a smirk plastered on his face in a familiar expression that has a speciality of getting on Jay’s nerves.
“You guys are just…?” The dark haired male raises an eyebrow, twisting his chair around with that annoying grin that Jay wants to slap right off of his face.
“We’re just, haven’t-defined-it-yet-people!” Jay blurted.
Jake raises an eyebrow, that’s definitely his ‘I’m totally judging you right now’ look.
“I don’t know him that well yet.” Jay offers with a sigh, pushing up from his seat to grab his phone on the nightstand.
“Maybe you should try to get to know him more. I’m sure he’s just as curious about you as you are with him.” Jake suggests, following Jay with his eyes as he plops onto his bed.
At his statement, Jay’s head perks up from his pillows, “What do you mean curious? Who said I was curious?” He can’t help the defensiveness that creeps into his tone.
“Oh please,” Jake rolls his eyes, spinning his chair back to face his desk like he finally decided Jay wasn’t worth his time anymore, “When you saw him at Hoon’s party, you looked at him like he’d just descended from the heavens or something.”
Jay hates the way his heart slams in his chest at the accusation, that’s not really an accusation but to him it sounds very much like an accusation—or maybe he’s just being fucking dramatic. Still, he can’t believe anyone noticed his internal meltdown that night. But then again, looking back at it, he definitely did not keep it together either.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He continues the act, rolling over so his back is to Jake, taking comfort in staring at the wall in front of him.
“Sure,” Jake scoffs. “You can’t fool me, Jay-ah. That was the first time I’ve ever seen that look on your face since we met. Call me crazy, but it looked exactly like one of those love at first sight moments they always talk about in books.”
Oh fuck, no. Just because Jake said it like that doesn’t make it true. It wasn’t love at first sight, okay? Definitely not. It was more like, ‘Oh, he looks good.’ Is that a crime now? Since when is noticing someone attractive a federal offense?
Catching up with his recent train of thoughts, Jay realizes just how insane he sounds, what the hell is he on.
Rubbing a hand over his face, he groans frustratedly, “God, you’re so fucking annoying.”
His roommate’s only response is a snarky, “I’m just saying.”
Jay throws the covers over his own head, desperate to block out the sound of Jake’s voice. But then, his roommate says something else, something that makes Jay freeze, straining to hear from where he’s buried beneath the sheets.
“He might be into you, too.” Jake’s voice is muffled by the layers of covers that separate them, but the words hit Jay all the same.
Jay scoffs slightly, as if.
Thinking Jungwon might be interested in him felt as ridiculous as imagining pigs could fly. You can leave it to Jake to say the most absurd things ever. Why on earth would someone as gorgeous as Jungwon be interested in a studio-bound loner like Jay, covered in clay?
He pulls the blanket over his head completely but that does nothing to quiet the pounding of his heart, relentless, like a wild animal desperately clawing to break free.
The next time Jay sees Jungwon it’s at a shitty club on a Saturday night. The neon lights paint long streaks across the walls in an assortment of different colors. Once again, the trashy music makes his ear feel like it’s going to bleed, yet another reminder of his hatred for these places.
He’s hanging by the bar, not drinking but sitting as chaperone for Heeseung and Jake who are currently drinking their hearts out, stressed over exams. And well, don’t get him wrong, art is a hard major when it comes to not being able to perfect your pieces or lacking inspiration—but he will admit that it doesn’t even compare an inch to physics and engineering majors. Both majors have their own hardships but from the look at his two friends wasted on the counter, Jay doesn’t feel sorry for not taking the traditional path that most parents would want their children to take. They look miserable, Jay almost pities them, hence why he’s sitting here, not drinking because he’s here to stop them from doing something stupid, and because he’d end up having to walk both of them back to the dorms.
“Oh come on, just one drink Jay-ah!” Jake’s voice slurs as he tries to give Jay a glass.
Scrunching his nose, Jay backs away slightly when the liquid splashes, “No, I’m good. You two should probably stop drinking now, I think you’re at your limit.” He raises an eyebrow.
“Limit? What’s a limit? You know limits are like… the moment you’re about to kiss infinity, but you never actually do. You just get so close…but never close enough, forever.” Heeseung drawls, throwing an arm over Jake’s shoulder.
Oh god. They’re really drunk, Jay mentally face palms himself, you know it’s bad when Heeseung starts reciting calculus. “What the hell are you on about—”
Heeseung’s hands suddenly shoot up, barely missing Jay’s face, “Oh! Jungwon! Over here!”
It’s embarrassing how fast Jay’s head whips in the direction of Heeseung’s gaze.
It’s even more embarrassing when he locks eyes with Jungwon in less than a second. The blond male is wearing a huge white short sleeved jersey and black sweats, looking completely out of place in an environment like this.
Jungwon waves eagerly at them, but the way his grin stretches wide, bunny teeth on full display.
Jay smiles back, lifting two fingers in response. For a good five seconds, their eyes are still locked before a group of people walks in front of Jay, temporarily blocking his view of the younger male.
When they clear up, Jay’s shoulders deflate slightly when he notices Jungwon is now gone.
“Try to make it a little less obvious now, would ya?” Jake’s smirk is the first thing that greets him when he spins back around.
Well, there goes trying not to make it seem obvious.
“Shut up.” Jay mutters, brushing him off.
He looks up to see Heeseung’s eyes darting from Jake, to him, then to the spot where Jungwon had stood across the room.
“Wait, don’t tell me- you and Jungwon?” Heeseung’s eyebrows shoot up comically.
“What? No.” Jay immediately shuts it down.
“Dude, I didn’t even say anything,” Heeseung slurs with a laugh, almost spilling his drink as he gestures vaguely between Jay and the now empty space Jungwon had occupied.
Jake leans heavily on the counter, cheeks flushed, a lazy grin plastered on his face. “But like… you were looking at him like he hung the damn moon.”
“I was not,” Jay denies, lifting his glass just to give his hands something to do.
“You sooo were,” Jake sings, poking Jay in the side. “You looked like you were about to drop onto your knees or some shit.”
“Okay, you’re drunk.”
“I’m not—” Jake hiccups. “Okay, maybe, just a little. But I’m also right.”
Heeseung cackles and slams his glass down. “Be honest. Is he the guy you sculpted?”
Jay nearly chokes on his spit. “What?”
Jake’s eyes widen. “Wait, is he?!”
“No!” Jay snaps, a little too quickly, and that only makes them laugh harder.
“That’s why the statue looked so familiar. I knew it reminded me of someone.” Jake exclaims.
“Dude,” Heeseung leans in like he’s sharing a top-secret classified government file, “If you made a statue of him, just make sure it’s not like, y’know… creepy lifelike.”
Jay groans, dragging a hand down his face. “You’re both insane- it’s not like that!”
“But you’re smiling,” Jake points out with a stupid grin.
Jay’s about to shoot back something equally sarcastic—just to save face—when a soft voice cuts in beside them.
“Um, excuse me?”
He turns and finds a girl standing there, blonde hair falling in soft waves, skin fair and glowing under the low bar lights. There’s a nervous edge to her smile as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Sorry to bother you,” she says, voice barely above the music, “but I was wondering if I could get your number?”
Jay blinks, caught off guard. He catches a glimpse of his friends behind the girl, Jake’s eyes widen, and Heeseung immediately nudges him like they’re watching a live soap opera.
Jay opens his mouth, unsure of what he’s about to say but nothing comes out because a familiar voice slides in smoothly from behind.
“There you are.”
Jay turns to see Jungwon appear out of nowhere. He looks eerily calm and composed, but there’s something sharp behind the tilt of his smile. His hand grazes Jay’s arm, so subtle that it was barely a touch, but it was enough to make Jay freeze.
“I’ve been looking for you,” Jungwon says, eyes flicking to the girl and then casually back to Jay. His tone is light, almost passing off as teasing. “Why’d you run off on me like that?”
Jay stares at him, half-confused,
The girl glances between them, suddenly unsure.
But one glance at Jungwon’s tight smile, the girl’s suddenly stepping backwards.
“Oh! I didn’t know you were– um—sorry.”
And just like that, she slips back into the crowd, leaving Jay stunned and Jungwon still standing way too close.
Jay raises an eyebrow. “Run off on you?”
Jungwon shrugs, smile innocent. “It worked, didn’t it?”
Jay scoffs. “I didn’t need saving.”
“Didn’t say you did.” Jungwon says, eyes gleaming as he steps back just slightly. “But she looked like she wanted your number. I wanted your attention.”
Jay’s heart does something it really shouldn’t.
Jake mutters under his breath, “God, just kiss already.”
Heeseung snorts into his drink.
Jay’s eyes widen at the fact that his friends are just saying this out loud.
“Why? Did you want her number?” Jay snaps his gaze back to the blond boy in front of him. His eyes are narrowed into suspicious slits, staring Jay down like if he dared to say yes, Jungwon wouldn’t hesitate to do whatever he might do.
“Careful Jungwon-ah, you’re starting to sound a little bit jealous.” Heeseung teases from behind them,
Jungwon doesn’t even flinch at the comment. His arms are crossed tightly, but his gaze is laser-focused on Jay, almost like he’s daring him to make the next move.
And just like that, something shifts in Jay, a sudden rush of confidence. Jungwon looks so damn cute when he’s like this. And if Jay dared to believe, Jungwon looks a hell lot possessive right now. With some new found confidence bubbling inside him, Jay’s lips curve up in a sly smile.
“And if I said I did want her number?” Jay presses, leaning in just slightly. The words hang in the air, and Jay can feel the tension between them, palpable and heavy.
He sees the moment Jungwon snaps, he tsks before he pivots on his heels,
“Fine! Let me just go get it for you–” he scoffs, ready to leave without another word but Jay immediately catches him by the elbow.
“I’m kidding.” Jay laughs, maybe the bar’s high atmosphere is making him drunk on confidence because he has no idea where the hell he’s pulling this from.
“No. I’m leaving.” Jungwon huffs, his expression a mix of frustration and something Jay can’t quite place, maybe it’s anger? Or is it embarrassment? His hair bounces slightly as he pulls away, trying to free himself from Jay’s grip.
Jay doesn’t let him go. “No, you’re not.” His voice is firm, insistent, as he pulls Jungwon back toward him, forcing the younger boy to stand between Jay’s legs where he’s perched on the bar stool.
He looks up, Jungwon is towering over him but he sees that the younger boy is avoiding his eyes, choosing to stare at a spot on the ground instead, lips forming what looks suspiciously like a pout.
You’re so darn cute. He wants to say but he keeps it in despite the feeling washing over him like waves. Instead he smiles as he tries to catch Jungwon’s eyes.
“Why are you being shy now?” Jay raises an eyebrow, Jungwon’s wrist still in his grasp.
“I’m not shy.” Jungwon grits out but the way that he’s still not meeting Jay’s eyes says otherwise.
“Oh yeah? Then what’s this?” Jay tugs him closer, he could get high from this new found confidence he’s feeling. The roles are now reversed, he thinks.
“I’m just a little…embarrassed.” Jungwon huffs under his breath, his voice softer now, pride too strong to admit it out loud. From this angle, Jay notices the faint pink hue deepening across his cheeks, making him look even more flustered than before.
“Hmm, and why is that?” Jay asks, his voice gentler, like he's coaxing something out of him. His fingers still hold onto Jungwon’s wrist, the touch light but it feels like the only thing grounding in the otherwise chaotic atmosphere of the club.
Jungwon hesitates, his gaze fixed on the wall behind them, as if it's somehow easier to stare at a blank spot than look Jay in the eye. There’s a moment of silence before he mutters, “I was going to ask you out, but then I saw you talking to her.”
Jay blinks, caught off guard. “Wait- what?”
Jungwon’s lips press into a thin line, but the way his gaze shifts uncomfortably tells Jay everything he needs to know. Jungwon’s original plan had been to ask him out, but the sight of Jay talking to the girl must’ve thrown him off course.
“I wanted to ask you out.” Jungwon forces out, each word sounding chopped short as they leave his lips.
That’s when Jay notices the slight tremble in his hand that is still in his hold, he’s acutely aware of the way Jungwon swallows thickly and the way his face is definitely more red than pink despite how shitty the lighting is.
He realizes it must’ve taken Jungwon a hell of a lot of courage to say that — because beneath the cool exterior, he's still just a boy standing there, flushed and nervous, hoping Jay won’t crush his hopes.
Hope, that’s when it hits Jay like a fucking freight train. Jungwon. Yang Jungwon is asking him out. Which means Yang Jungwon is interested in him. Yang. Jungwon. Is. Interested. In. Him. Jungwon might actually like him. The thought sends a rush of warmth through his veins, and for a moment, he’s at a loss for words.
A sudden cough forces him from his stupor and he sees Jungwon looking right down at him, his eyes molten with something stubborn and bold. Now it’s Jay’s turn to flush in color.
“It’d be nice if you said something now, my hands are starting to get trembling and I’m pretty sure there’s sweat running down my back.” Jungwon says it with a shaky sort of bravado, he’s trying to joke, but the slight crack in his voice betrays just how hard his heart must be pounding.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Jay curses, then panics when Jungwon’s eyes widen, realizing it sounded like a rejection. “I mean—yes!” he blurts.
He feels the way Jungwon’s body instantly loosens, he leans in slightly like his body weight is about to drop on Jay’s. The younger one exhales like he’s relieved and Jay feels like a jerk for putting him through that.
“What did you think I’d say no?” Jay flashes a grin.
“For a second, yeah.” Jungwon huffs against his shoulder. “But then again, I’d be surprised if you did.”
He pulls back, now full facing Jay with a huge smile on his face. And in that moment, as he watches a beautiful smile erupt on Jungwon’s face, something foolish crosses Jay’s mind: he wants to kiss him.
“What?” Jungwon laughs, looking down at him.
But Jay can only blink, pupils wide like he’s physically trying to take in as much as he can, to remember this specific moment.
His heart is thrashing violently in his chest, palm sweating, stomach churning, and he can’t move. It’s funny how people say that the heart is the most romantic organ in the body when the stomach exists, because right now it feels like a million butterflies are in his stomach. He feels it all, a flutter of wings scraping the expansion of his ribcages, it’s too much but at the same time not enough.
The feeling that takes over him is nothing but overwhelming. Sure, he’s had flings here and there — but a crush? Yeah, that’s the only word that could describe this feeling right now. He’s never had a crush before, and maybe that’s pathetic because he’s a grown adult, but God forbid he’s always had his head stuck in a notebook rather than looking for love.
“Nothing.” Jay manages, a weak smile on his face.
The grin on Jungwon’s face seems never to vanish as he pats his arm, stepping back fully from Jay’s personal space now. Jay frowns at the lost, eyes quickly following Jungwon’s movement.
“Okay.” Jungwon tilts his head, amused by the slight panic in Jay’s eyes. “Are you free tomorrow evening?”
“Yes.” Jay nods.
Ignoring the fact that he’s definitely not free tomorrow since he has to be at a painting event for the mid spring festival for the art department. But he’ll figure something out, Sunoo can handle a couple kids by himself, right…
“Perfect.” Jungwon says, ready to turn around. “I’ll text you the address.”
Jay nods again when he realizes that he never asked for Jungwon’s number.
So naturally, he says the only thing his brain could supply at that moment, “You know, legally, after cockblocking someone that hard, you’re required to give me your number instead.”
A loud laugh escapes Jungwon’s lips as he turns around, and Jay swears he starts seeing stars.
“Is that an actual law?” the blond tilts his head, a small smile playing on his lip.
Jay leans back against the counter behind him, acting like he didn’t just say that because seriously who says that? But there’s no taking it back so he continues to play into the stupidity he started, “Yeah. Very serious. Federal offense, actually.”
“Then I guess I’m guilty.” Jungwon hums, but he’s already grabbing the phone in Jay’s hand.
“Yes. Very very guilty.” Jay grins when he hands back his phone.
Jay glances down briefly and that’s when he sees it.
A new contact sits on the very top line that reads: Jungwon (criminal).
Jay snorts out a laugh before he can stop himself. “Wow. So this is how you’re going to treat victims?”
“Victims?” Jungwon repeats, raising an eyebrow. “Now why am I being framed for crimes I didn’t commit? I was just defending your privacy!”
Another laugh escapes Jay before he can stop it. “Fine, I’ll give you that.” He slips his phone into his pocket with a grin, “Thanks for protecting my privacy, Jungwon.”
“You’re welcome,” Jungwon says easily, crossing his arms. “I take my job very seriously, just so you know.”
“Clearly.” Jay glances toward the crowd behind him before looking back at him. “Should I be worried you do this often?”
Jungwon looks up, pretending to think about it, “Only when someone tries to approach you.”
“So basically every time someone tries to hit on me?” Jay raises an eyebrow.
“Yes, precisely." Jungwon nods.
A beat of silence breaks over them as they stare at each other.
This could be fun, Jay thinks. He can’t seem to get rid of the ever present smile on his face whenever Jungwon is around and by the looks of it, he could say the same about Jungwon.
That moment is broken by the shrill buzz of a phone. Jungwon looks down to the phone in his own hands, eyes leaving Jay’s to stare at the screen glowing amidst the dim lights of the bar.
“Oh, I’m gonna have to dip now.” the blond says, biting his lips as he scans whatever was on his phone. “The music department’s missing a bunch of stuff for the performance tomorrow morning."
Ah right. Jay completely forgot that the university’s annual spring festival was starting this week. Tomorrow was the kickstart of the event that would last for about a week. Usually the events ranged from booths and stands to showcase various clubs, departments specifically for the new undergraduate students touring before they start in the fall, to performances and games hosted by each department. This year, the art department decided on a painting event where people could stop by and learn to paint or have one of the art students paint them. Though Jay didn’t really lean towards painting — his talent more focused on sculpting — last year’s event was pottery so it was only fair that this year it would be more geared towards a different area of art.
Nodding in understanding Jay nudges his leg lightly, “Okay,” he says, voice softer than earlier, “I’ll see you tomorrow."
Jungwon looks up, the playfulness on his face earlier is slightly dimmed by the sudden onset of the tasks he had, but he still manages a soft smile at Jay. “I’ll text you the address.”
Jay nods again, watching as Jungwon starts stepping away from the counter.
Then, just as he’s about to disappear into the crowds of dancing bodies, he turns around,
“And Jay?
It’s embarrassing how quickly Jay’s head whips up, “Yeah?”
Jungwon’s smile widens just a little bit at the sight, “Try not to get approached by too many people while I’m gone?”
Jay laughs despite himself, “I’ll try, but no promises.”
Jungwon narrows his eyes accusingly at him before finally walking away. Leaving Jay sitting there, watching as that familiar head of blond weaves into the crowd until he’s nothing but a blur of gold in the sea of people.
“Wow.”
“That was amazing! Cinematic. 10/10.” The sound of Heeseung’s whistling snaps him out of his daze.
Jay turns his head, suddenly remembering his two friends. Jake and Heeseung sit now, side by side across the counter from him, both wearing shit-eating grins on their faces and both looking way too entertained for his liking. Their drinks sit abandoned in front of him like they stopped drinking completely to watch a rom-com come to life in front of them.
“Shut up. You guys are too drunk to be talking.” Jay scowls almost immediately.
“And you,” Jake points at him dramatically, nearly slipping off his stool in the process, “were flirting.”
“Horrendously too,” Heeseung adds. “Like actually painful at first. I almost intervened.”
“But thankfully Jungwon took the reins.” Jake quips.
“Hey! I asked for his number.” Jay defends.
“Yeah, yeah. Jay-ah,” Heeseung gets up from his chair, coming to clap him on the shoulder, “This is a moment for the books!”
“JJ! Get we can three drink?” Jake slurs suddenly, already waving at the bartender like they’re lifelong friends.
“What?” Jay turns to him, Jake’s sentence making no sense.
“I said,” Jake repeats very seriously, “we need celebratory drinks. For Jay’s emotional growth.”
“My what?”
Heeseung snorts out a laugh, leaning against the counter. “Dude, you got cockblocked, then asked out, and got his number in under fifteen minutes. This is an upgrade!”
“It was not an upgrade.” Jay deadpans.
“It was,” Jake insists. “You went from ‘we-haven’t-defined-it-yet-people!’ to ‘criminal’s contact list.’ That’s character development.” Mocking Jay from what he said last week in annoying accuracy.
Jay exhales through his nose, annoyed yet somewhat amused, “You two are unbelievable.”
He doesn’t even get to spew another remark when the drinks come. Jake immediately pushing a glass into his chest, the alcohol sloshing violently in the cup, threatening to spill from the rim.
“To Jay!” The Australian male grins drunkenly.
“To the end of being single for almost twenty four years!” Heeseung adds, raising his glass.
“Hey! This isn’t the end of anything–” Jay begins but Jake clamps a hand over his mouth.
“Hush, Jay-ah. We don’t need you jinxing things right now.” He shakes his head, Heeseung nodding in agreement.
Jay looks between them, then at the drink in his hand, then — despite everything — lets out a small laugh. “I can’t believe this.”
Their glasses clink together in a way that feels slightly too loud for how crowded the bar is, the sound cutting cleanly through the music and chatter.
Jay takes a sip, still shaking his head, but the smile doesn’t leave his face.
“You’re both acting like I just got married,” he says.
“Worse,” Jake replies instantly, “You have a crush.”
“Worse?! How’s that worse–” Jay begins,
“It is,” Heeseung cuts in. “We saw the sparks, Jay. The cinematic sparks.”
Rubbing a rough hand over his face, Jay groans, “I hate you both.”
The two across from him just smirk at each other, a conversation in eyes is happening between them in that brief moment but Jay doesn’t have the mental or emotional capacity anymore to decipher it.
So instead he brings the cup to his lips again, the alcohol warm against his mouth pressing against the cold rim of the glass. And when he swallows, for some reason the liquid doesn’t burn in his throat. Rather it’s warm, but the buzz in his stomach — in his chest, in his entire body— has nothing to do with it.
It has to do with something else entirely.
And that something comes in the form of a buzz in his pocket and the lightening of his phone screen that reads.
Jungwon (criminal)
Nabi’s Sushi House, tomorrow at 7 pm.
For a second, the noise of the bar dulls, the glass in his hand feels lighter. The air feels warmer. Even Jake and Heeseung’s voices fade into the distance. Real. Jay thinks. Staring at the screen again to confirm that the entire interaction they had earlier wasn’t something his mind had fabricated.
But after blinking once, then twice. The message still doesn’t disappear.
Jay inhales sharply, and then quickly, without another second to doubt, he punches his fingers against the small keyboard.
JAY
See you then :)
Seen appears almost immediately, following a thumbs up and a smiley face from Jungwon too.
Jay turns off his phone after that, not even bothering to hide the smitten look on his face.
“Oh, he’s gone.” He faintly hears Jake murmur to Heeseung.
“Completely.” Heeseung agrees with a shiver.