Chapter Text
It has been said that to love is to be human. This is wrong, for I am not fully human, yet I have loved, oh how I have loved, I have loved so strongly and yet I am still not human. It has also been said that to be human is to love. This is also wrong, to be human is to burn, to burn bright with the flame Prometheus gifted humanity all those years ago; To be human is to die, for that is what makes their lives all the brighter, until the flame goes out and you are stuck where only humans go, where I can’t follow, for I am not fully human.
Sometimes I wish I could forget my curse, the simple way it all went wrong, but I know I can’t and death will be my only release. There has not been a day in my thousand years of suffering where I have not wished my death to be upon me. But there is no point in complaining if you do not know how my curse even began, so I suppose I should tell you.
It was a long time ago, back when the gods still interacted with humanity, and when they would lead wars. This particular war happened to be led by Apollo, or at least on the side I fought for; We didn’t get to know much about who we were fighting against or why, all we knew was that they were the enemy and we must kill them. When you don’t tell people things and instead expect them to blindly follow you, as one might expect to happen, people start to speak out, and I was the first one. It all happened so fast, sometimes it seems I am imagining things, but for a thousand years I have not aged and I have been in so much pain, I know I couldn’t have.
It had been a sunny day, the first in a while, that should have been my first sign. The good weather had made us all relaxed, too relaxed that I had put down my guard. Thinking us to be alone, I had casually remarked to a comrade, “Isn’t it odd we do not know who we are fighting? Why does Lord Apollo not tell us much, it could not hurt to know something,” I should have known we were not alone, I should have known better than to say his name aloud, but I didn’t and it’s far too late now. Upon hearing my words of treachery, Apollo appeared in all his glory, his eyes burning with rage, and I knew I had misstepped, frantically I tried to take back my words, but it was too late.
He stood before us and uttered the curse that would ruin my life.
“It couldn't hurt to know something? IT COULDN'T HURT TO KNOW SOMETHING?”
I don’t know when exactly my comrade had left, but I was alone with The Sun by now.
“You fool, Lysias, you fool. Fine. You wish to know more, Lysias?”
All I could do was nod.
“Then you shall. You shall have infinite knowledge, and live too long to bear it, you will know everything that has been and everything that will be,”
I almost doubled over in pain as I felt the knowledge set in.
“And since you have disgraced this army, your sword shall never be drawn again, though your armor will never be removed.”
And in the blink of an eye he was gone. I was left to my fate, no longer in the war.
I don’t know how long I lay there for, clutching my head in pain, but I eventually got up and started to walk, my only coherent thought was that I needed to get out. I walked until my feet bled, every step a sharp nail through the foot, and eventually I settled into my home for the next millennium. The home I have built there is a simple one, but it works for me. It is settled into the side of a hill near a river, inside my shelter I have a plain bedroll and my food stores filled with dried meats and berries, and the occasional delicacy given to me by travelers; They have heard tales of a wise oracle who lives in the north, they know me as The Knighted Oracle and ask questions of their fates, I answer but tell them not of the name I was once known by, for I am not him.