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Tanjiro was broken; he felt a giant wound in his chest, but he didn't feel any bleeding. So, he was fine, right? That's right, he was fine. So, he tried to hide it.
It broke anyway
With every swing of his sword, the pain intensified. Initially, he believed it stemmed from the anguish he sensed in the demons he defeated, as if their sadness tugged at his good nature. However, this pain persisted even when he encountered demons that were devoid of feelings, that didn't experience sadness as most demons did. So, what was the source of this pain?
He knew deep down he knew.
The weight of his torment pressed down on him like an unyielding anchor, each burden a reminder of the life he was forced to endure. Memories clawed at his heart: the laughter of his family during quiet evenings, the warmth of his sister Nezuko's hand in his as they explored their village, and the dreams he had for them both to thrive together. Now, those memories were overshadowed by the painful reality that his family was tragically gone, extinguished like a fragile flame in a violent storm.
Nezuko, once a joyful and spirited girl, was now trapped in the nightmare of being a demon—her humanity stripped away by the very monster that had ravaged their lives. This transformation gnawed at him, a relentless agony that pulsed through his veins, rooted in the life he never wanted. He had never yearned for the burden of a sword or the grim shadows of battle; he had only craved the simplicity of sibling love and the innocence of childhood—a life brimming with smiles and the discovery of the world's wonders.
Now, instead of sharing moments of joy, he found himself ensnared in a brutal war, fighting desperately to save his sister from the overwhelming darkness that consumed her. It was a bitter struggle against a nightmare that bore a face he once recognized—a monster that probably didn't recall the heartbreaking destruction it had wrought upon their family. The deaths of his loved ones felt like a mere footnote in the saga of chaos unleashed by that being, as he traversed a path littered with loss, seeking a glimmer of hope in the midst of despair.
Despite all that, he smiled. he smiled as he always did. the way his mother loved. The way that his father, who was stronger than he could ever be, would be proud.
It was suffocating. But he managed
"Tanjiro," a soft, melodic voice called out, breaking the silence of his thoughts and pulling him back to the present. He turned slowly, and in that moment, his heart skipped a beat.
"Oh, I didn't see you there, Kanao," he said, his eyes lighting up with warmth as a genuine smile spread across his face. It was a reaction that felt almost instinctive whenever he encountered her; she had an uncanny ability to draw him in completely, bringing a sense of calm to the chaotic whirlwind of thoughts that often clouded his mind. Her presence had a unique power, one that made the world around them fade away, leaving him breathless.
"It's because she's so strong despite everything she's been through," he reflected, admiration swelling in him. He marveled at her resilience, the way she navigated her challenges with quiet strength and grace.
Kanao said nothing as she sat next to him, both entering a comfortable silence.
Whenever Kanao graced him with her presence, everything seemed to fall into place. The furious storm of emotions—fear, doubt, and uncertainty—that normally raged in his mind began to subside, creating a sense of peace he rarely experienced. In those moments, life felt beautifully clear, and he couldn't help but feel grateful for her calming influence.
When she was around. It was like he was finally allowed to breathe
When she was around. He didn't have to be the oldest
When she was around. He didn't have to carry this burden alone
When she was around. He didn't think about the boiling anger he suppressed. the hatred he felt for Muzan.
When she was around, he didn't have to tell himself that his parents would want him to smile; he just would.
When she was around. He could tell himself that everything would work out
That he could turn Nezuko back into a human
That he could defeat Muzan, and his family's souls would be at peace
That one day he would be free
Free from the burden that was placed on him
Free from the threat of demons
Free from the responsibility that he never wanted.
Finally, he hoped to be able to tell her everything—that she had slowly come to mean so much to him.
"Tanjiro," Kanao said, breaking the silence.
"Yeah, Kanao?"
"I'm not bothering you, am I?" Kanao asked, prompting a small laugh from Tanjiro.
"You never," Tanjiro replied, smiling instinctively. He placed his hand over hers.
"I just—" Kanao began, her gaze drifting away as she struggled to find the right words. It was always like this when it was just the two of them; Tanjiro had an uncanny ability to disarm her, to make her walls tumble down.
In her mind, she could hear her sister Kanae's voice echoing softly, "When you fall in love, you'll change too, one day." The memory made Kanao sigh deeply. Despite not being in a battle, her heart raced as if she were facing a formidable opponent. She couldn’t deny the warmth swelling within her chest.
As she took a deep breath to steady herself, her fingers intertwined with Tanjiro's, their hands fitting together perfectly. The simple touch brought her comfort, and a shy smile began to spread across her face, illuminating her features.
"I'm really glad," Kanao finally confessed, her voice soft yet tinged with sincerity. Her eyes, usually so guarded, sparkled with a hint of vulnerability as she spoke.
In Tanjiro's presence, Kanao felt an unparalleled warmth enveloping her, igniting a spark of hope deep within. It was as though a dormant part of her was awakening, whispering that change was not only possible but within her grasp. She yearned to become the person that Kanae had always believed she could be—the strong, compassionate individual that Tanjiro seemed to recognize effortlessly.
For the very first time, she caught a glimmer of that version of herself—the one that had remained hidden, shrouded behind walls of doubt and fear. But as much as she wanted to embrace that opportunity, an undeniable hesitation held her back. She couldn’t bring herself to take that leap. No, she didn’t feel ready to do it.
Not without Tanjiro by her side, not if it meant risking the precious bond they had forged—the mere thought of being that selfish gnawed at her conscience.
He had Nezuko to care for, a responsibility that weighed heavily on him.
He didn’t need the added complexity of her struggles or her insecurities.
and yet
She wanted to keep this. this feeling
It was different
She felt lighter
She felt stronger
She felt free
for the first time in what felt like a long time.
She could allow herself to have such thoughts
She could do what Tanjiro had told her that day and listen to her heart
To make a choice
She wanted to be by his side no matter what. to help him when he was down.
To protect that smile that pierced the fierce walls of her heart.
She didn't need a coin to know that was what she wanted
It scared her
But at the same time, it was like she had been asleep for the longest time and had finally woken up.
She didn't believe in hope for the longest time. not till Kanae and Shinobu had found her
Not till Tanjiro entered her life
Not until Tanjiro began breaking through the darkness, breaking through all the pain inside her, not till he began waking these odd feelings inside her. Parts of herself that she believed she had buried for good.
She wanted to be here
for her sisters
for her friends
She wanted to laugh with them
To cry with them
To face any challenge with them
To stand together
She wanted to live
She wanted to stay
She wanted to say this to say it aloud, but she could never phrase it in a way that made sense, so she settled for one simple phrase.
"I like being with you."
Tanjiro would always understand; he always did.
"I like being with you, too, Kanao," Tanjiro smiled, squeezing her hand. "Being with you is calming." Kanao smiled and allowed herself to scoot closer.
Both teens sat with their minds going through the same thoughts
'Why does this feel right?"
'Why is letting you in so easy?'
'Why can I tell you anything?'
'All my secrets"
'All my pain'
'the darkness that holds me'
“It’s just easy,” Tanjiro finally said, his voice warm and gentle, catching Kanao’s full attention. The sun filtered through the leaves above them, casting dappled shadows on their faces, and he turned to her with a sincere smile. “When you’re here, everything feels lighter,” he added, his words filling the air with a sense of comfort and connection.
Kanao felt a smile spread across her face in response, her heart fluttering at his admission. She nodded, her eyes shining with understanding and appreciation. “No one sees me the way you do,” she admitted softly, her voice barely above a whisper. The truth of her words hung between them, heavy with meaning. “I guess that’s why I love being with you.”
In that moment, she leaned her head against his shoulder, feeling safe and cherished. The warmth of his presence enveloped her, and she closed her eyes, savoring the moment's peacefulness. Just being near him made everything else fade away.
everything,
All the voices that told her she was worthless
All the voices that appeared when he was lost inside his head.
She didn't trust it.
He didn't trust it.
But they wanted to.
It felt undeniably right, that instinctual pull they both shared. Every time they opened up to one another, there was a warmth that enveloped them, a sense of belonging that assured them they were exactly where they needed to be. In each tender exchange, they found strength—a shared understanding that no matter what challenges lay ahead, they could face them side by side. Together, they had the potential to mend the fractures that life had inflicted upon them, piecing together their fragile hearts and souls like a puzzle, each moment of vulnerability bringing them closer to healing what had once seemed irreparably broken.
Together, they could stand.
Together, they didn’t have to hide.
Together, they could have hope.
“Tanjiro,” Kanao started, looking away. She wanted to say the words that tugged at her heart.
“It’s okay, Kanao,” Tanjiro reassured her softly, a warm smile lighting up his face. “I understand.” He lowered himself slightly, tilting his head as he pressed a tender kiss on her lips. The sweetness of the moment spoke volumes, revealing the depth of his feelings that words could never fully express. As he gently rested their foreheads together, a genuine smile tugged at his lips, radiating warmth. Kanao felt a flutter in her chest and leaned in closer, savoring the closeness between them, the world around them fading as they shared that intimate moment.
Kanao smiled. "I'm glad," was all she said. For once, that giant wound in his chest was gone. For once, he felt as if he could breathe, and he knew that it was because he was with her.
Together, they could face this.
Together, they could heal the pain from their past.
They would be free.
Free to have moments like this.
Free to live how they want.
Truly free.
Free from his mission
Free from her darkness
Genuinely free. Free in a sense that the weight of past experiences unburdens them; they possess the remarkable ability to acknowledge their history while choosing not to let it dictate their present or future. This freedom allows them to embrace life with an open heart and mind, fully aware that their past has shaped them, but does not define them. They live in a way that honors their journeys without being anchored by them, allowing the past to remain firmly in its rightful place. A chapter closed, rich with lessons but not a shackle binding them to old patterns or regrets.
But first, they would have to face it
First, they would have fixed what was broken
Then and only then
Could they let the past be the past