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The valley was the light at the end of a tunnel, metaphoricaly and quite literaly. It was the first thing one saw once existing the mountains. For Snufkin it was the brightest thing he's ever seen. Colorful flowers, sunny more times than not, bright, cheerful people, the friendliest he's ever met. His sisters were there, his Moomin was there.
Were he a Mymble, he'd likely never leave. Joxter might fuss and scoff at the idea of settling down, the few times they met it was on accident, they were both on the move. Quite an anticlimactic experience, meeting someone you've wondered about for so long, a figure thats supposed to hold a great significance in your life...only for when you meet them to be while youre muddy from the cold rain and earth, while he's attempting to eat a raw fish in one bite. Suppose its genetic.
Mymblemama would aprove wholeheartedly, Snufkin's younger half-siblings might be a handful, but theyre always close to their mother. Mymbles are rarely away from their family, especially while still children.
But for a mumrik-mymble, it is an issue. Too attached to leave fully, to asocial to fully integrate. Spending his entire existence on the edge of horizon, like a comet circling the orbit of a planet, but never quite comitting to save itself the hurt later. The tiniest ecosystem, the family tree that keeps on blooming. It will die and one is expected to feel something afterwards. Grief, rage, nostalgia, maybe even bittersweet. Lack of emotion isn't something that's supposed to appear, it is unacceptable for it means you never cared in the first place. But a mumrik longs to get back to the earth, to the sea, to turn into dust and become one with nature. It looks at death as a soldier looks at a photo of their wife back home, longingly, but they cant return just yet. A predator in a place full of prey isn't a good thing, apathy in the place of emotion is even worse.
He did try to talk to others at first, it was nice. They laughed, chatted, fished and went on adventures. But then he stares at the Sun and its so warm, so bright. Overlooking everything it doesent judge, it caresses and burns all the same. Its summer, everyone's outside. Theyre all playing, laughing, eating, swimming, drinking. Theyre all burning under the wonderful Sun. And as Snufkin looks onto it, it burns him too. The brightest place on Earth is at the end of the tunnel, the Sun burns brightly, its all so nice. He's at the end of the tunnel and it burns so brightly. He's still in the tunnel and he needs to leave while he still can. He's inside of the tunnel and he is alone, and he is burning, and others dont know.
The rivers were always nice to be around. Cold, wet, refreshing in summer, useful it spring, peaceful in autumn. Snufkin never got to know them in winter, but its didnt bother him much. It was pleasant to sit there with someone or by oneself, fishing or simply resting. He begun to associate the sound of water with the valley itself. Sleeping next to a river, fishing by it, bathing in it, doing one's laundry in it. The ocean was wonderful too, but its vastness didnt seem as dynamic as a narrow string of water, forever going in one direction.
He heard once from Alice, that every person was in some way connected to an element. Something to due with magic, embracing the world around oneself. The moomins were earth, as was Snork, the Hemulen and so on. One would imagine that it would make the fiery Little My and Snorkmaiden not clash well with them, but he's never seen them closer. But water is dynamic, always on the move, fluid and flexible, but not belonging to anyone. And what a pain it is that an element that would be so closely related to the others may never be with them trurly. The earth would drown, the fires would be stifled and Snufkin cannot stay around too long in the fear of doing the same.
He's wondered about staying for winter before. He's heard of Too-Ticky, Moomin and Little My told him of the time they woke from hibernation. It sounded beautiful. Cold, soft, so white and bright everywhere around. To walk onto the ocean and not drown, to see the fishes and plants below. Joxter saw something on the ocean that Snufkin never did. Moominpapa might have been nostalgic over the adventures and his memoir, but the old mumrik was trurly in love with it. They went to see the sea once, when they met by the Baltic Sea. It was cold and windy even though it was near the end of winter by then, rocky beach was hard to walk on and there were leftovers from the tourists, the trash they left behind. But as he saw his dad look out onto the vast water, steal a boat and for the first and only time go sailing with him, he saw it too. Havent understood it fully, like a child looking at a spaceship, but understanding that he was looking at something marvelous.
Hearing of the frozen ocean was trurly wonderful, to feel the Sun burning his skin while the water froze his mind, for once he's be able to rest. He'd understand it trurly and he'd likely trurly die. Happily to do so, he cant stay. The end at the end of the tunnel is burning bright, he cant stay.
Snorkmaiden seemed at times to wear rose-colored glasses. The flowers always looked more colorful around her, the jewelry seemed shinier, it was a sentiment that Snufkin could understand, though directed at different things. His glasses werent pink as much as they were white. Nature seemed brighter in his eyes too, as did the Sun, the sea, the moomin house and moomin himself. It was wonderful to see everything on such a glory, blooming and blossoming as everything grew up during spring and grew down for winter. Moomin was like that too. From when he awoke from hibernation, through summer, one could see him bask in the joy of life. Getting brighter, warmer, more energetic under the wonderous Sun, then wilting and calming down as it got colder and the sombering thought set in, that Snufkin will leave soon. The white glass helped the moments together seem kinder, so while Moomin cried as they said goodbye the tears on his fur would look all the same.
It was simply easier to pretend to see the world ill as an excuse to Snufkin's apathy, rather than let people see him for what he is and realise he trurly isn't upset.
And so he returns back into the tunnel, where he is cold and alone and the kindest Sun couldnt reach him. For the light at the end of the tunnel burns, and he doesent wanna get better.