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The worst drinking buddies

Summary:

To celebrate their survival in Hamunaptra, Jonathan suggested some drinks. However, he made a terrible mistake, as Rick O'Connell and Evelyn Carnahan become comically irritating when they drink. When Jonathan stole Rick's key from Hamunaptra, the man's jacket was lying on the next table while the American was having a heart-to-heart talk with a bottle of whiskey." "And as for her little sister... Evelyn usually starts proclaiming at the top of her lungs about the destruction of the Library of Alexandria and things like that.

This time, O'Connell decided to sing love songs to Evelyn, and the man sings so badly that Cleo, the cat, ran away in fright. It's important to mention that the cat confronted Imhotep."

Work Text:

To celebrate their survival in Hamunaptra, Jonathan suggested some drinks. However, he made a terrible mistake, as Rick O'Connell and Evelyn Carnahan become comically irritating when they drink.

When Jonathan stole Rick's key from Hamunaptra, the man's jacket was lying on the next table while the American was having a heart-to-heart talk with a bottle of whiskey. To Jonathan's bad luck, O'Connell had turned around at that exact moment and yelled "Hey!". Carnahan ran as a general brawl broke out and Rick accidentally hit the wrong man. A very rich man who called the police.

And as for his little sister... Evelyn usually starts proclaiming at the top of her lungs about the destruction of the Library of Alexandria and things like that. This time, O'Connell decided to sing love songs to Evelyn, and the man sings so badly that Cleo, the cat, ran away in fright. It's important to mention that the cat confronted Imhotep. Jonathan looked apprehensively at his sister, who still hadn't shouted anything but was glancing angrily at the whiskey bottle as if it were her worst enemy.

"Evelyn? Old mum?" Jonathan asked. Evelyn looked at him as if he had interrupted something extremely important. Rick, who was sprawled on the floor behind the woman, began to sing more quietly for everyone's hearing health.

"I, I! that's just that!" Evelyn said suddenly in an indignant voice. "Our lives have changed, you see, so much! We were there and then attractive men appeared!" She turned to O'Connell and pointed at him. "Why are you so attractive and cute? How dare you?".

This seemed to revive Rick, who started grinning like a fool and saying, "Nah. You're more attractive and cute. Very". Then the man starts singing another made-up song about Evelyn while the woman argues to herself about the laws of library science.

For God's sake. Although, for Jonathan, "attractive man" makes him think of a certain Medjai with silky black hair. But Ardeth isn't there, and Jonathan's only company is a drunken couple who are making him want to jump out the window.

"Right, children!" Jonathan began, "my poor ears can't take it anymore, and it's getting late. Time for bed." Evelyn started complaining about older siblings, and Rick was already asleep... on the floor. Evelyn crossed her arms and glared at her brother until her expression completely changed, becoming frightened.

Jonathan went to his sister, worried. "What's wrong, Evy? Are you feeling unwell? Do you want some water?"

But then she suddenly stood up and announced, "Jonathan, I think I am in love. Rick is so, so him!" She turned to look at the unconscious O'Connell as if she had never seen him there before.

This time it's Jonathan who's indignant, "Do you want to give your older brother a heart attack?! All of Cairo knows you love him, now go to bed!" He tried his best "responsible older brother tone" and luckily it seemed to work because Evelyn turned towards the stairs. But then she fainted on the sofa.

After that, Jonathan Carnahan never drank with those two again. He would drink with anyone, even with Imhotep, but not them.