Archive of Our Own

It all starts on a random Tuesday. Boom just came home from their last script reading. It is already 11pm and he should have been home hours ago, but the director insisted they read just one more scene, time and time again. He only let them leave after Aou almost fell from his chair as he dozed off.

Boom is exhausted. He only wants to lie down in his bed and sleep until his body feels energized again. Until he doesn’t feel like a zombie anymore. After a quick shower, he is finally welcomed by the softness of his bed sheets, the covers embracing him like an intimate partner. And yet, sleep doesn’t come to him.

At first, Boom thinks his mind might still be in work mode, racing with thoughts of the character he is soon to portray. How to best convey his feelings and thoughts. How to make sure he will be as close as possible to the character the writer and director envisioned.

He takes slow deep breaths, counting to three in his mind for each inhale, stopping for a few seconds before exhaling slowly. He focuses on his breaths, letting any distraction fade away until his body and mind relax completely. He feels calm. Safe. But he still doesn’t fall asleep.

Sighing, Boom gropes for his phone on the nightstand, opening his favorite meditation app to start a new session. And while he usually falls asleep not even five minutes into it, he now feels totally awake even as the sound turns off, the soft music that always lulls him to sleep fading away, replaced by silence.

Boom checks the clock on the nightstand, another deep sigh escaping his lips as he reads the time. He has been lying in his bed for over two hours, and he still hasn’t fallen asleep. Frustrated, he leaves his bed, grabbing a book as he makes his way to the living room, plopping down on the couch, his back propped up against the armrest. He reads around a hundred pages, so engrossed in his book he doesn’t realize how much time has passed. His eyelids start to feel heavy and, half lying on the couch, he finally falls asleep.

He wakes up, groggy and disoriented, a couple of hours later, to the ringing of his phone. He grabs it, answering the incoming call.

“Hello?”

“Phi? I’m on my way to your condo. Do you want me to grab breakfast? I’m ten minutes away. I can stop at that auntie’s place, you know, the one who sells patongko.”

“Good morning to you too,” Boom answers, chuckling as he hears Aou gasp on the other end. “I’m not hungry, but you can get something for yourself.”

“Sorry, Phi. Good morning.” Aou pauses for a beat. “Are you sure you don’t want anything?”

Boom hums in answer.

“Okay. I’ll be there soon.”

After they hang up, Boom stands up from the couch, stretching his limbs as a yawn escapes his lips. He just has time to take a quick shower before Aou rings his doorbell.

“Here, Phi,” Aou tells him with a warm smile, handing him a plastic bag. “That auntie gave me some extra dough sticks for free, so we can share.” Before Boom can decline, Aou shoots him a warning glance. “I can’t eat everything on my own, so please help me out.”

Boom shakes his head in defeat.

“Okay.”

He goes to the kitchen, setting the bag down on the table before grabbing two glasses from the cupboard and some milk from the fridge.

“Here,” he says, pushing a glass towards Aou, who just sat down at the table.

“Thanks, Phi.”

They eat in silence for some time, Boom trying to get mentally prepared for the day ahead. Even after a good night of rest, the day would be quite challenging, but now, running on only a few hours of sleep, Boom doesn’t even know how he is going to keep his sanity intact until the end of the day.

“Are you okay, Phi?” Aou asks, a worried look crossing his features. “You look tired.”

“I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night,” Boom admits. “But I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

“Are you sure? You know we have our first workshop today. Won’t it be too much for you?”

“I’ll be fine,” Boom says once more, even though he himself is not even convinced of his words.

Aou sighs. He opens his mouth, as if he is about to say something else, but then he closes it again. He just nods, lowering his gaze to stare at the food in front of him instead.

Soon enough, they finish their meal. Boom stands up, clearing the table, setting the glasses in the sink, and throwing the empty food container in the trash can.

“Leave the dishes, I’ll do them this evening when I come back home,” he tells Aou as he heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

He hears Aou hum as he closes the door. When he comes back, the glasses are on the sink, upside down. Clean.

“Why did you wash them?” Boom asks Aou, his voice tinged with frustration. “I said I’d do it tonight.”

“Phi, you look exhausted,” Aou answers calmly. “At least let me do this for you.”

Boom sighs, rubbing his hands over his face. He feels bad about snapping at Aou, knowing full well he only did so because of his lack of sleep.

“Sorry,” he whispers. “And thanks, Aou.”

“No problem, Phi.”

They leave Boom’s condo not long after, driving though the busy streets of Bangkok, on their way to the studio where they have to meet the crew. Aou keeps chatting, his voice echoing around the car. Boom listens to him, sometimes humming in answer. He feels his eyelids get heavy, the subtle movements of the car driving over bumps on the pavement lulling him to sleep.

“You can sleep,” Aou says suddenly, glancing to his side at Boom.

Boom startles.

“Sorry, I’m not sleeping.”

Aou chuckles softly.

“It’s okay, Phi. I know you’re tired. I’ll let you get some rest.”

“Can you… not stop talking?” Boom asks, his voice so small Aou almost misses it.

“Why? Am I boring? Does that make you fall asleep?” he asks, half-joking, a trace of sadness in his voice.

“No, that’s not it.” Boom exhales slowly. “Your voice is… soothing. It makes me feel calm.” he finally admits in a whisper.

Aou doesn’t answer at first. He breathes slowly, like he is trying to keep his cool.

“Okay, Phi. Now, get some sleep.”

Aou keeps his word, rambling about the weather, the latest show he watched, a funny joke Santa told him a few days ago. Anything that pops into his head. He also hums along to the songs playing on the radio, singing softly, and drumming his fingers to the rhythm on the steering wheel.

Boom falls asleep without even noticing it, Aou’s voice like a caress to his ears and his mind as he drifts off to sleep. He wakes up twenty minutes later, to the feeling of Aou gently shaking his shoulder.

“We’re here, Phi.”

Aou’s voice is soft. Low. Like he almost feels bad about waking Boom up. Boom opens his eyes slowly, blinking at Aou, his breath getting stuck in his throat as he realizes how close their faces are. He can feel Aou’s soft exhales on his cheek, the smell of condensed milk hitting his nose, a reminder of their earlier breakfast. When Aou notices Boom’s open eyes, he moves back, a forced smile on his lips.

“Let’s get in before they send someone from the crew to fetch us,” he jokes, opening the door to get out of the car.

Boom follows him inside the building and up the stairs to the practice room without a word.

The day passes by in a blur, Boom moving and working on autopilot all day long, not registering half of what he is doing or saying. When they leave the studio late at night, the director pats him on the back, thanking him for his hard work.

“Try to get some rest now, guys. Tomorrow, we’ll practice the big fight, so you better be ready.”

Boom nods, feeling too exhausted to even talk. He barely notices the drive back to his condo, thanking Aou for taking him back home. He takes the elevator and finally enters his condo, stumbling all the way to his bedroom. He crashes down on his bed, too tired to even take a shower. He sighs heavily, ready to finally let sleep take him for the day. But it doesn’t. He stays still on his bed. Waiting. Ten minutes. Thirty minutes. One hour. He still has not fallen asleep.

Frustrated, he stands up, making his way to the bathroom, hoping a warm shower will help. It doesn’t. Thirty minutes later, freshly showered and back in bed, Boom is still wide awake. He feels the exhaustion of the day weigh down on him. Both physically and mentally. But he still can’t fall asleep. He tries everything again. Slow breathing. Meditation. Even counting sheep. Nothing helps. He ends up back on his couch, with a book on his lap and a warm cup of tea on the coffee table. He sleeps for two hours before his alarm goes off, waking him up with a start.

The next day is the same. And the next. And the one after that. After one month, Boom is at his wit’s end. His body is on the verge of collapse, and he doesn’t know what to do. Every night, he tosses and turns in his bed for hours, sleep evading him. Every night, he ends up on his couch, with a book, hoping to at least get some sleep before he has to go back to work.

“Have you finished packing your bag yet?”

Boom startles at Aou’s voice. They are sitting on a bench, eating a quick lunch before they have to go to their afternoon workshop.

“My bag?” he asks, confused.

“We’re going to Chiang Mai tomorrow,” Aou reminds him, a frown on his face. “Did you forget?”

“Ah, right. For that variety show.”

Aou looks at Boom with concern.

“Phi, are you okay? You seem out of it lately.”

Boom shrugs.

“I’m fine. Just a bit tired.”

“Are you not sleeping well lately?”

Boom shakes his head. He opens his mouth, intending to ask Aou for help, but before he can start, a staff member approaches them, his steps hurried.

“Guys, we need to start the workshop now. We have to finish early today.”

They nod in understanding, following the man to the studio in a rush.

***

In Chiang Mai, things don’t get better for Boom. He didn’t get more sleep the night before, only his now usual two or three hours. Worse, he didn’t even get any sleep on their way there, instead spending time going over the script for the variety show they have to shoot. Boom is not sure how he is going to stand three days of filming in his current state. Even if he was in great shape, the filming would not be an easy task – the hot weather and physical challenges required for the show taking a toll on every participant’s body. But now, with his body surviving on sheer willpower only, Boom is not sure he will even make it out alive.

Now, they are standing in the lobby of the hotel where they will stay for the next few days, all the actors participating in the show gathered around the producer and his crew.

“Here are your keys,” the PD says. handing out keycards to the group. “One room is for two people. The rooms have already been assigned, but feel free to switch with someone else if you want.”

Boom feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around, looking at Aou curiously.

“You’re with me, Phi.” Aou grabs his wrist, his fingers gently closing around it. “Let’s go.”

He drags Boom behind him, never letting go of his arm until they reach their room. Once inside, he takes Boom to one of the twin beds, pushing his shoulders to make him sit down.

“We don’t have to meet the crew until dinner, so get some rest. You look exhausted.”

Boom sighs heavily.

“I won’t be able to sleep anyway,” he mutters.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Boom lets himself fall down, his back hitting the mattress with a soft thud. He breathes slowly. Deep inhales. Deep exhales. His heart slows down. His mind relaxes. But he doesn’t fall asleep. He can hear Aou rummaging through his bag, sorting out his clothes.

“Are you still awake?” Aou asks suddenly, surprise evident in his voice as he hears Boom sigh once again.

“Yes.”

“Aren’t you tired?”

“I am.”

Boom opens his eyes, glancing at Aou sitting on the bed opposing his, a chuckle escaping his lips at Aou’s confused face.

“Then why are you not…”

“I can’t fall asleep,” Boom admits. “I haven’t slept more than three hours a night for the last few weeks.”

Aou startles.

“What?”

Boom shrugs his shoulders, used to his lack of sleep by now.

“But why didn’t you say anything?” Aou asks him.

“What would it change anyway? It’s not like you can help me.”

It is Aou’s turn to sigh. He stands up, crossing the space between their beds to sit down beside Boom.

“I can at least try,” he whispers, lifting his hand to stroke Boom’s hair gently. He lets his fingers run through the strands, humming a soft tune without even realizing it. “Close your eyes, Phi.”

Boom obeys. He knows he won’t be able to fall asleep, but he doesn’t want to upset Aou; at least, Aou wants to help him. He opens his eyes, confused, when he feels Aou’s hand push his shoulder gently.

“Phi.”

Boom blinks his eyes open slowly. He hums softly.

“We need to meet the crew in five minutes.”

Boom freezes.

“What?”

“It’s almost 7 pm, Phi.”

Boom sits up straight, checking his phone, unable to believe his eyes when he sees it is 6:56 pm.

“How is this possible?” he mumbles.

“You slept like a log,” Aou tells him. “You kept clinging to my arm like a child.” He chuckles. “It was adorable.”

Boom splutters. He feels his face heat up.

“Do you want to use the bathroom first or can we go down?”

Boom stands up, his back turned to Aou.

“I’ll go to the bathroom quickly,” he mumbles, avoiding Aou’s eyes.

After he closes the bathroom door, he leans against it, his hand on his chest, taking slow breaths to calm himself down. His heart is pounding; his cheeks are still red; he is confused. He hasn’t slept properly for over one month, and yet, he just slept for four hours straight. He can’t make sense of it.

It can’t be thanks to Aou, can it? Boom shakes his head. It must be a coincidence. He washes his face and brushes his teeth quickly, then leaves the bathroom, following Aou out of the room without a word.

The evening is relaxed, people joking and trying to guess what activities await them the next day. Boom smiles and laughs as people share their wildest ideas, like a bear fight or swimming with sharks. The show they are a part of is known for its extreme challenges, but Boom doubts they will have to go this far. He enjoys the cheerful atmosphere, his body finally at ease now that he got some rest.

When they go back to their room later that night, Boom feels hopeful. Maybe the change of scenery will be beneficial to him. Maybe sleeping in another bed than his own, far from all his worries and the never-ending cycle of sleepless nights, is what will help him fall into the arms of Morpheus.

Two hours later, he realizes how wrong he was. Aou has been asleep for quite some time, snoring softly on the other bed. But Boom has not gotten a wink of sleep. He has been tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable. Trying to recreate the conditions that helped him fall asleep so easily earlier that day. He doesn’t understand. The bed is comfortable, the sheets soft and cool; the air is just the right temperature. He should have been asleep a long time ago.

His mind goes back to his earlier nap, trying to pinpoint what happened. What exactly helped him fall asleep in an instant. And maybe he has known all along but he just didn’t want to admit it to himself. It was not the bed nor the room that lulled him to sleep. No, it was the man currently lying a few feet away from him, sleeping peacefully. When Boom thinks about it, he realizes earlier that afternoon was the second time Aou helped him fall asleep. Even that time in his car, Boom had drifted off to sleep so easily, just listening to Aou’s voice.

He sighs heavily, deciding it is time he takes matters into his own hands. He needs to test his theory. He stands up slowly, careful not to make any noise that might wake Aou, then crosses the distance between their beds and slips under the covers behind him. He shuffles until he is lying as close to him as possible, a few inches of space left between their bodies, and leans in to let his head rest against Aou’s back. Tentatively, his hand wraps around Aou’s waist, his fingers playing with the hem of his t-shirt. He breathes in deeply, Aou’s scent comforting and grounding, and falls asleep in an instant.

***

When Boom wakes up the next morning, he is still lying in Aou’s bed, his arms wrapped around a pillow, hugging it tightly against his chest. He inhales deeply, Aou’s scent hitting his nose. He opens his eyes slowly, taking a look around him. He is alone in the room. He can hear the shower running, Aou already up and getting ready for the day.

Boom stands up, going to his bag to retrieve some clothes. As he grabs a black t-shirt, the situation he is in dawns on him. He starts panicking. What if Aou is upset about him sleeping in his bed? What if he starts asking questions? Boom doesn’t even know how he could explain himself to Aou. While his reasoning sounded logical in the middle of the night, his brain only half functioning at that time; now, wide awake and after a longer night of sleep, it just sounds so… weird. Why would he need to be close to Aou to fall asleep?

He is still deep in thought, his mind racing with worst case scenarios, when the bathroom door opens. Boom tenses up, preparing for Aou’s reproachful voice, but it doesn’t come. Instead, Aou greets him cheerfully.

“Phi, you’re awake. Did you sleep well?”

Boom freezes, unable to meet Aou’s eyes. He nods weakly, no words leaving his mouth.

“Good,” Aou answers, unfazed. “You can go take a shower. We have to meet everyone in fifteen minutes.”

Dazed, Boom can only nod one more time, heading to the bathroom silently. The warm water helps his body relax, but his mind is still racing. He doesn’t understand why Aou hasn’t said anything. He should feel relieved. He doesn’t. Instead, he feels confused and nervous. He can’t help thinking he is missing something, but he can’t put his finger on what it is.

After a quick breakfast, they take the road en route to their destination. After a forty-minute drive, the vans they took stop in a small parking lot. All the actors get out, taking a look around, trying to guess what they will have to do.

“Please, no,” Aou whispers, a hint of fear in his voice, as he stares at a tall platform not far from where they are standing. He turns to Boom with a worried look. “We’re not gonna go up there, right?”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure we’re doing something else,” Boom answers, trying to reassure him.

But the truth is, Boom himself is almost certain that platform is the exact reason why they came here in the first place.

The filming crew asks all the actors to gather beside a serene lagoon, and as soon as the cameras start rolling, the show host introduces the day’s challenge: bungee jumping. Beside Boom, Aou groans, his hands shaking slightly at his sides.

“You’re going to be divided into four teams of three,” the host explains. “Each team will have two people jumping, and one person standing there, to open one of these wooden chests.” He gestures behind him, at a spot inside the nearby gardens where four colored chests have been placed, each one locked. “Your goal is to open your chest as fast as possible. The code for the padlock is written on small pieces of paper placed at the end of the jumping rope. So, guys, don’t forget to grab it or you’ll have jumped for nothing.”

His last words elicit some chuckles from the participants. After the teams are sorted out, each person receives a vest of their team’s color, and they are instructed to wait on benches in the lush gardens surrounding the platform as the first team takes on the challenge.

“Team Red, get ready to start the mission,” the host exclaims, motioning Earth, Mix and First forward. “But first, let’s assign your roles.”

He hands a small black box to Earth, asking him to randomly pick one of the balls hidden inside. Earth retrieves a green ball, a confused look on his face.

“Green,” the host exclaims with glee. He turns towards the other teams seated nearby. “Then, Team Green, you will get to choose what role to assign to each member of Team Red.”

Earth, Mix and First all gasp at the same time, shocked by the host’s announcement. Gawin, Khaotung and Mark – the three Team Green members, discuss their options in a low voice for a minute. When the host asks them to share their decision, Gawin speaks up.

“P’Earth and First will jump.”

“So that means, Mix, you will be the one cracking the code,” the host jokes.

He asks the three Team Red members to get on their mark, then he strikes a gong by his side to give the start. First and Earth speed off towards the platform while Mix makes his way to the wooden chest area, waiting for them to give him the information he needs to open the red chest.

From the sidelines, the other teams watch with great interest, trying to assess how to best handle their own turn.

“They’re so fast,” Junior says, sitting beside Boom. “We’re going to have to run all the way to the platform if we want to have a chance to win this.”

“Let’s first see who has to jump,” Aou grumbles from Boom’s other side.

Boom puts his hand on Aou’s knee, squeezing it softly.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure P’Junior and I can do this.”

In no time, Earth and First jumped from the platform, the both of them diving without hesitation as soon as they were safely attached to the cord. Mix works fast, turning the digits on the padlock to open the chest and stop the timer inside.

“Great job guys,” the host cheers as the three Team Red members sit down on their assigned bench. “We’ll get your time once all the teams have finished the challenge.”

“They’re so cool,” Gawin whistles. “We have no chances of winning this,” he adds, turning to his teammates.

“We don’t need to win,” Khaotung retorts, “we just have to make sure we don’t finish last.”

“Now, it’s Team Yellow’s turn to take on this challenge. Chimon, please pick a ball,” the host goes on, handing the black box to Chimon.

Chimon retrieves a red ball, so the host asks Team Red to choose what role to give to each member of Team Yellow. They decide to make Book and Chimon jump, while Force will take care of opening the wooden chest.

After the host strikes the gong a second time, the Team Yellow members rush to their assigned spots. Force runs to the yellow chest in no time, waiting for his teammates to give him the code he needs to open it. Chimon goes up the platform first, getting harnessed and attached to the rope in no time. He takes a few seconds to look around the area, like he is enjoying the view from the top of the platform, before he jumps down, letting out a delighted holler, waving at the other teams watching from the ground.

“He’s even faster than P’Earth,” Boom whispers in awe. “How can they all be so good at this?”

Just as the words escape his lips, he gasps in shock. While Chimon had no issue jumping down the platform, he seems to have a hard time reaching the piece of paper stuck at the end of the rope. He twists and turns his body, to no avail.

“I’m too weak,” he whines, his hand stretched out, his fingers brushing against the piece of paper, but unable to detach it from the cord.

“Grab the rope with both hands,” Force shouts from the side. “And push on your legs to hoist yourself up.”

“I can’t.”

“You can,” Force screams, his voice cracking. “Just do it.”

After countless attempts, Chimon seems to have lost all hope, letting his head fall back, his body upside down as he takes deep breaths. Suddenly, he lifts himself back up, reaching for the piece of paper once more, a small object in his hand. He cheers when the lapel microphone clip closes around the corner of the paper, detaching it from the rope.

“27..,” he shouts, out of breath, reading the digits written on the piece of paper now in his hand.

As soon as Chimon is safely back to the ground, Book goes up the platform, jumping and retrieving his part of the code in no time. When the three members are back in their seats, the other teams cheer for them, comforting Chimon who feels bad about his performance.

“How did you even think about using the mic clip?” Boom asks him. “That was so clever.”

“I just needed a few more inches to reach that damn piece of paper,” Chimon grumbles.

“Team Blue,” the hosts says, turning to Aou, Boom and Junior, “it’s your turn now.”

He hands the black box to Aou, who picks a yellow ball.

“So, Team Yellow, who’s going to jump?” the host asks excitedly.

Force, Book and Chimon start talking in low voices, glancing at Team Blue from time to time, Force snickering as he whispers something in Book’s ear.

“Phi,” Aou whines in a small voice, grabbing Boom’s arm. “I’m pretty sure they will choose me.”

“They won’t,” Boom retorts confidently.

“He’s right,” Junior agrees, “everyone knows you’re afraid of heights. They’re not gonna choose you.”

“So, who is it going to be?” the hosts asks once Force stands up from the bench.

“Boom and Aou will jump,” Force says, his face blank.

Beside Boom, Aou lowers his head. His hands start shaking. Boom tries to ask Junior if he can take Aou’s place but the filming crew refuses to let them swap places. As soon as the host strikes the gong, Boom dashes off, dragging Aou by the hand. They arrive at the bottom of the platform in no time. Boom turns around as he is about to go on the metal basket.

“Listen to me, Aou,” he whispers, putting his hands on Aou’s cheeks, his eyes locked with Aou’s. “You can do it. When you’re up there, don’t look down, take a deep breath and then jump. I’ll be right here, waiting for you.”

Aou nods, but Boom can see he is on the verge of tears. He leans in, hugging him tight.

“Don’t worry. It’ll only last a few seconds. It’ll be over before you even know it.”

He leans back, patting Aou’s shoulder softly, before turning around to hop on the basket. Once at the top of the platform, he gets harnessed and safely attached to the cord. He takes a look down, sending a reassuring smile to Aou, and jumps, screaming as he falls down fast. His scream turns into a laugh, feeling the exhilarating sensation of freedom, like a bird flying for the first time. As the cord recoils, Boom grabs it with his hands, lifting himself up to grab the piece of paper attached there.

“36..,” he screams to Junior, watching him turn the digits on the padlock.

In no time, Boom is back to the ground, his gaze lifted to watch Aou standing on the platform 165 feet in the air. Even from his viewpoint, he can see Aou shaking, his hands gripping the operator’s arm.

“You can do it, Aou,” Boom shouts as loud as he can, hoping the younger man can hear him. From his spot near the blue chest, Junior soon joins him, their shouts of encouragement flying towards Aou.

“Close your eyes,” Boom yells. “Just listen to my voice.” He pauses for a beat, taking a deep breath. “Trust me, Aou. You can do it.”

He watches as Aou slowly lets go of the operator’s arm, his body falling forward, as if in slow motion, his eyes shut tight, his screams of fear resonating across the gardens.

“The paper!” Boom shouts. “Aou, you need to grab the piece of paper.”

Aou opens his eyes, lifting himself to grab the piece of paper attached to the rope.

“85,” he screams, his voice hoarse. “85. It’s 85.”

Junior wastes no time opening the padlock, pressing the button inside the chest to stop the timer.

“Great job, Team Blue,” the show host exclaims.

Junior whistles happily, running to Boom to grab his arms, jumping around him excitedly. Boom laughs softly, but his eyes are locked on Aou’s frame. He runs to join him as the operator on the ground helps detach him from the cord, grabbing him by the waist to help him stay up as his knees buckle up. He holds him tight, feeling Junior join them, the three of them hugging.

“You did so great,” Boom whispers against Aou’s ear, stroking his hair softly. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Man, that was epic,” Junior adds, laughing, as he moves back. “If I didn’t know you were scared, I would have never guessed.”

Boom starts moving back too, but Aou tightens his arms around Boom’s shoulders.

“Don’t let go yet, please,” he whispers, his face pale. “I don’t think I can stand on my own right now.”

Boom keeps an arm around Aou’s waist, supporting most of his weight to help him walk to the bench where they can sit while the last team will take on the challenge. As soon as they sit down, Boom takes Aou’s hand, his fingers intertwining with Aou’s fingers, his thumb stroking the back of his hand gently. His other hand goes up to Aou’s face, wiping away the tears on his cheeks.

“Are you feeling better?” he asks softly, relieved to see some color back on Aou’s face.

Aou nods, shooting Boom a grateful smile before focusing back on the host as he asks them which members of Team Green will have to go on the platform to jump. Junior turns to them, whispering his suggestions, and, in no time, the three of them have agreed on who to choose.

“Mark and Khaotung will jump,” Junior says, sending an encouraging smile to Mark.

“You’re not even gonna try to protect Mark?” Gawin asks, a scowl on his face.

“Mark doesn’t need protection,” Junior retorts with a proud smile. “Plus, he’s really good at this type of things, so he’s gonna do great.”

Boom does a double take.

“Wait!” he exclaims, “are you actually trying to help them?”

Junior chuckles, shrugging his shoulders.

“Of course not. I just don’t want to put them at a disadvantage either.”

The host asks Team Green to get ready, then he strikes the gong for the last time, starting the team’s race against time. Mark goes up the platform first, not even hesitating to jump down as soon as he gets the green light from the operator. He shouts his numbers to Gawin, high-fiving Khaotung as he joins him in front of the platform.

“You can do it,” he tells him, patting his shoulder before sending him on his way.

Even from a distance, the other teams can see Khaotung is scared, his grip on the handle as he goes up the platform so strong he might break a finger. He keeps his eyes closed as the operator secures the harness around him and makes the last adjustments before his jump.

When the operator gives him a thumbs up, Khaotung doesn’t jump. He stays still, frozen in place at the edge of the platform, like a statue. His eyes are wide and scared, staring down at the lagoon far below.

“‘Tung, you can do it!” First shouts suddenly, startling the people around him. “I’ll buy you a new guitar if you jump.”

Khaotung’s eyes turn to First, his gaze fixed on him as he lets himself fall forward, screaming all the way down. He reaches for the piece of paper at the end of his rope, shouting the last numbers to Gawin with all the strength he has left in him.

“And that’s it!” the host exclaims, clapping his hands. “Good job, Team Green.”

Once Khaotung is back on the ground, all teams gather at the entrance of the gardens, where the producer and his crew are waiting for them, ready to give them the results of the day.

“First place goes to…” the show host starts, drumming his hands against his thighs, “Team Red! Congrats, you’re qualified for the next round.”

Earth, Mix and First move to the podium built on the side, high-fiving to celebrate their first place.

“In second place, we have…” the host continues, waiting some time to build suspense, “Team Blue! Good job, guys, you can join Team Red on the podium.”

Junior, Aou and Boom hug each other, giggling as they make their way to the podium.

“See,” Boom exclaims with a warm smile, glancing at Aou, “I told you you could do it.”

“The last team qualified for the next round is…” the host says, pausing dramatically. “Team Green! Congratulations!”

Mark, Khaotung and Gawin look at each other in shock, surprised that they didn’t get eliminated. Gawin lifts a laughing Mark and Khaotung in his arms, bringing them to the podium.

Boom startles at the loud whistle he hears from his right, turning his head to look at Junior in shock.

“You know they’re not on our team, right?” he asks the older man.

Junior smiles sheepishly.

“Just let him be,” Aou retorts with a chuckle. “He’s proud of his man.”

“So that means Team Yellow, this is the end of the road for you. A round of applause for them please.”

The host claps his hands to salute Chimon, Book and Force’s performance, soon joined by every other participant. They shoot an interview with the losing team, asking them their impressions on the day and which team they will be rooting for.

Once the cameras are turned off, the PD explains the rules for the next day. The losing team will do some charity work at a nearby nursing home while the other teams will take part in the next mission.

“Can we get a hint for the next challenge?” First asks, already getting ready for the next day.

The producer laughs, shaking his head.

“You’ll see soon enough. Now, guys, go grab a nice dinner and get some rest. You’ll need a lot of energy tomorrow.”

They go back to their hotel, everyone in a cheerful mood now that they can enjoy the cool air and plush van seats on their ride back. They separate at the lobby, some people wanting to go out to eat; others preferring to eat at the hotel restaurant.

Boom is too tired to go out and find a place to eat, so he ends up having dinner at the hotel with Aou, Junior and Mark before going back to their room. He takes a quick shower and is lying in his bed in no time, the exhaustion of the day making his body so heavy he sinks into the mattress with relief. He closes his eyes and slows down his breaths, letting his mind relax.

When Aou leaves the bathroom twenty minutes later, Boom is of course still wide awake. He hears him roam around the room for a moment, and then he feels cool air hit his back as Aou lifts the covers, crawling behind him in the bed.

“What are you doing?” Boom asks, surprised.

“Going to sleep,” Aou deadpans, wriggling his body to get comfortable behind him.

“In my bed?”

Aou hums softly.

“I’m a bit scared,” he whispers.

“Huh? Why?” Before Aou can answer, Boom turns around, facing him. “Because of that ghost story P’Mark told us at dinner?”

Aou nods, his head bent down, avoiding Boom’s eyes. Boom sighs. He knows Aou is lying to make him feel better. He is usually the first one to tell those kind of stories or laugh at horror movies.

Boom opens his arms, pulling Aou against his chest, Aou’s head tucked against his neck.

“Thank you,” he whispers, his lips brushing against Aou’s temple.

“What for?”

“For always taking care of me.”

Aou chuckles, snuggling closer to Boom.

“I should be the one thanking you. I don’t think I would have been able to jump if you weren’t here today.”

Boom chuckles.

“Nonsense. You’re so brave. You would have done it either way.”

Aou shakes his head.

“No. It did it thanks to you.” He wraps an arm around Boom’ waist, his fingers splayed against his back. “I did it for you,” he whispers against Boom’s neck, his warm breath tickling Boom’s skin.

Boom doesn’t answer, instead pulling Aou’s body just a little closer to him. Until their chest are pressed together and he can feel Aou’s heart beating against his own. He falls asleep to the lullaby of their synchronized heartbeats.

***

The next morning, Boom wakes up surrounded with warmth. His head is lying on Aou’s stomach, his hand resting against the younger man’s heart. Aou’s arms are wrapped around his shoulders, hugging him in a tight embrace; one of his legs is hooked around Boom’s waist. Boom’s head moves to the rhythm of Aou’s slow breaths, the motion gentle and soothing. Reluctantly, he tries to get out of Aou’s arms, but Aou’s grip tightens around him.

“Five more minutes,” he mumbles, still half asleep.

“Aou, let me go to the bathroom.”

Aou sighs heavily, but his grip on Boom’s shoulders loosens, his leg untangles from Boom’s waist, letting him slip out of his embrace.

“Get some more sleep,” Boom whispers, his lips brushing against Aou’s cheek.

Realizing what he just did, Boom stands up abruptly, rushing to the bathroom and closing the door softly behind him before Aou can call him out.

He takes a long shower to clear his thoughts, the warm water relaxing his body and mind as it slides down his sore muscles. When he leaves the bathroom, he feels ready to tackle the day. Aou is awake, sitting on Boom’s bed, his hair sticking out in a way that makes Boom want to run his fingers through it. He doesn’t, instead grabbing the towel around his neck to dry his own hair.

“The bathroom’s all yours,” he tells Aou.

Aou nods, but he doesn’t get up.

“Did you sleep well, Phi?” he asks instead, watching Boom intently.

Boom hums.

“Did you?”

“Yes.” Aou doesn’t look away, like his eyes are trying to send a message to Boom. “Very well. Your bed is really comfortable.”

Boom can’t help the chuckle that escapes his lips.

“You know it’s the exact same bed as yours.”

Aou nods, a broad smile on his lips, his eyes crinkling at the sides.

“But yours is more comfortable, I swear. And it smells really good.”

Boom splutters.

“Go take a shower. We need to go down to meet the crew soon.”

Aou chuckles, finally standing up to head to the bathroom. When he walks past Boom, he grabs his wrist, his fingers closing gently around it, stroking the skin softly for a second.

“Your bed smells just like you, Phi.”

Boom flushes, Aou’s laugh ringing in his ears even after he closed the bathroom door behind him.

After lunch, all the actors meet the crew outside the hotel, a couple of vans parked there, ready to take them to the day’s shooting location. They drive for around thirty minutes, finally stopping as they reach The Royal Park Rajapruek. Sitting beside Boom, Junior whistles as they stop in front of the entrance.

“Are we going on a treasure hunt or what?” he asks, his voice full of glee.

The filming crew gives each participant, once again, a vest of their team’s color, plus an earpiece and a paper map. Then, they take golf carts to get to their starting point. There, the show host is waiting for the three teams, a big smile on his face. When the cameras start rolling, he turns towards the teams, welcoming them to their next challenge.

“We’re standing in front of the Royal Pavilion. Your mission today will be to find stars like this one.” The host shows the object in his hand, a palm sized yellow metal star. “Each team must find four stars of their team’s color. The stars have been spread throughout the premises, so keep your eyes open and walk the grounds carefully.”

“I knew it,” Junior whispers, shooting a glance at Boom, his eyes sparkling. “I told you we would go on a treasure hunt. This is gonna be fun.”

“Do you see the three stands there?” The host asks, gesturing behind him, “This is each team’s base. You will need to place the stars you find on these stands. The last team to find and bring all of their stars here will lose this challenge.”

“Seems quite easy,” Gawin exclaims, making everyone around him chuckle.

“There are a few rules you must follow,” the host continues after people calmed down. “First, you cannot steal other teams’ stars. Second, you can use your earpieces to communicate with your teammates, so make good use of this. Also, you will have a maximum of three hours to find all your stars. If no team has completed the challenge at the end of those three hours, the team with the least number of stars at its base will be eliminated, so be strategic.”

“We better bring each star to our stand as soon as we find one,” Aou whispers beside Boom, already trying to make a plan for their team.

Beside him, Junior nods solemnly.

“To make things a bit easier for you,” the show host goes on, “the location of each teams’ stars has been vaguely indicated on the map we gave you earlier, accompanied with some hints to find them. Watch around you carefully and they should be easy to spot.”

The host invites the participants to stand in front of their base, as he is about to start the timer.

“Oh, and one last thing, guys,” he starts with a teasing glint in his eyes, “there are guards roaming around the grounds. If they catch you, you won’t be able to move for one minute, so you better avoid them.”

 Collective gasps can be heard around the place.

“Now, are you ready?” The host lifts his hand, showing the timer in his hand. “On your marks, get set, go,” he shouts as he starts the timer to begin the challenge.

Each team starts discussing their strategy before they go exploring the grounds. Aou gestures Boom and Junior closer, his voice low to prevent the other teams from hearing them as he speaks.

“We don’t have a lot of time and this place is massive, so I think we better separate and try to cover as much ground as fast as we can.”

“I’ll go this way,” Boom says, gesturing to his left. “I can go to King Rama Honor Park first, then down to the Playground and Bug World areas. There are two stars around there according to the map.”

Boom shows his map to the others, pointing at the track he wants to take.

“Then, I can go down this way,” Junior says, pointing at the walkway going down straight from the Royal Pavilion. “I’ll check the zone near the entrance, and then I can meet you around the Orchid Pavilion,” he adds, turning to Boom, “if you haven’t found the star around there yet.”

Boom nods in agreement.

“And I’ll take this zone here,” Aou tells the others, showing the opposite side of the map. “If we divide the grounds like that, I’m sure we can find our stars in no time.”

Their plan in mind, they all go their separate way, their steps hurried, ready to win this challenge. Boom walks fast, reaching King Rama Honor Park in no time, his breath slightly labored. He checks the map in his hand, trying to understand where the star could be hidden. The area circled in blue on the map encompasses the whole park, so he has no choice but to explore all of it, his eyes roaming around the ground and trees, trying to spot the small blue metal object. As he walks on the path, his eyes set on the trees nearby, he notices something from the corner of his eye. He turns his head, startling as he sees a man standing a few feet away from him. In full uniform.

“Shit,” Boom mutters, crouching down to hide behind a bush.

He lifts his head carefully, glancing over the bush to follow the guard with his eyes, sighing in relief as he sees him turning around, slowly moving away from the place where Boom is hiding. Once he is sure the guard won’t come back, he stands up, his eye catching a light coming from his left. He stops in his tracks, taking a closer look, a gasp escaping his lips as he recognizes the object stuck between the bushes. A blue metal star.

“Guys,” Boom whispers excitedly, tapping on his earpiece to contact his teammates, “I just found a star.”

He hears Junior and Aou cheer on the other side.

“Good job, Phi!”

“Now, go bring it to our base,” Junior tells him, laughing happily. His laugh stops abruptly, replaced by short pants. “Shit, a guard just spotted me.”

Boom hears Junior’s hurried footsteps as he runs away before he turns off his earpiece.

“I hope he won’t get caught,” he tells Aou.

“Me too. Phi, let us know when you arrive at the base. I’ll keep looking around here.”

Boom hums in agreement, tapping on his earpiece to stop the communication. He makes his way to the Royal Pavilion, walking fast but always on the lookout for any guard lurking around the area. In no time, he arrives at their base, putting their first star in its allocated space on the stand. He turns on his earpiece, letting the others know he safely placed their first star at the base.

“And the other teams don’t have any stars yet,” he adds, glancing at the other stands.

“That’s great, Phi,” Aou cheers. “We’ve got a head start. P’Junior, everything okay on your side?”

“I’m hiding in a tree,” Junior whispers.

“In a tree?” Boom asks with a chuckle.

Junior hums.

“The guard almost caught me, but I jumped up a tree as soon as there was a blind spot, and he missed me. I’m just waiting for a couple of minutes in case he’s still lurking around.”

“Good job, Phi,” Aou exclaims.

They all agree to continue searching their respective areas and get in touch as soon as they find anything. Turning off his earpiece, Boom turns around, intending to go back to the area he came from when he sees a guard coming around the corner. As soon as spots Boom, he starts running, ready to catch him. Boom dashes down the path, stumbling as his foot gets stuck on a rock. He starts falling down, his hand grabbing a branch from a nearby tree to steady himself. He sighs in relief, thankful he avoided getting hurt, but losing his balance also made himself lose precious seconds. The guard catches up to him easily, tapping him on the shoulder.

“Stop,” he exclaims, showing Boom the timer in his hand, starting the countdown until he can start moving again.

Boom sighs heavily.

“I just got caught by a guard,” he tells the others.

“It’s okay, Boom. Don’t worry about it,” Junior reassures him. “We’ve still got plenty of time. Aou and I will keep on looking.”

“He’s right, Phi,” Aou agrees. “Catch your breath and get ready to go back exploring as soon as you can.”

As soon as the guard frees him, Boom walks down the path in a hurry, making his way towards the Playground area, the next zone he has to check. Unfortunately for him, the area circled in blue on the map is vast, including not only the Playground, but also the Bug World, Red Jade Vine and Orchid Pavilion zones. Boom knows it will take him a long time to explore this area, but he hopes Junior can find his star and join him soon. They would need at least two people to find the star hidden there.

Boom starts by exploring the Playground, crouching down to inspect under the slides, checking inside the playhouse, even digging in the sandbox, but no star seems to be hidden there. He crosses paths with Mix as he walks to the Bug World zone, the Red Team member holding a star in his hand.

“I just saw Mix. He found a star,” Boom informs his teammates.

“It’s okay,” Junior answers. “We also already have one. And there’s still an hour and a half left.”

Boom arrives at Bug World and wastes no time checking around the area. While he is certain the crew won’t have hidden any star inside the bug enclosures, he still makes sure to inspect the area around each cage, just in case. After more than thirty minutes of searching, he has to face the facts; there is no star there either. He sits down on a bench, trying to catch his breath for a second, startling when he hears a cheer in his ear.

“I found one,” Aou exclaims excitedly. “I’m on my way to the base.”

“Good job, Aou,” Boom replies, feeling hopeful again.

He stands up, walking fast towards the next area he has to search. He arrives at the Red Jade Vine zone just as Aou puts the second star on their stand.

“Team Red already has two stars,” Aou says. “And Team Green has one. Ah, wait, P’Gawin just brought another one, so they have two now.”

Boom hears Junior groan in his earpiece.

“I keep circling around the same area, but I can’t seem to find the star,” Junior mutters.

“Don’t worry, Phi,” Aou answers, “I’m on my way to help you. P’Boom, can you manage on your own for now?”

Boom hums in answer.

“Great! Then I’ll be with you soon, P’Junior.”

Boom keeps searching the area he is in with renewed urgency. They have less than an hour left, and two more stars to find. Boom explores the Red Jade Vine area thoroughly, with no luck. After over twenty minutes of fruitless searching, tired and losing hope, he sits down on a bench, trying to come up with a new strategy.

“We found it,” Junior shouts with glee, startling Boom. “Aou is gonna bring the star to our base and I’m on my way to join you, Boom.”

“Great. I’ve been losing hope here,” Boom admits.

“I’ll be there in no time.”

Boom hums. Deep in thought, he grabs the map from the bench, inspecting it more closely. The host told them there were some clues on the map to help them find the stars. He looks carefully at the area he is in, noticing a pattern of stars drawn near the Red Jade Vine zone. Suddenly, he stands up, looking at the flower tunnel not far from him. There are small star garlands hung at the entrance of the tunnel. He makes his way there in a hurry, his eyes focused on the decorations. And then, he sees it. A blue metal star hidden among the plastic garlands.

Boom exhales deeply, relieved. He finally found their last star. He grabs it and takes off to join their base, hoping the other teams haven’t found all their stars yet. He stops abruptly as he moves past the panoramic flower tower and sees a guard standing not far from him, his back turned to him. He is about to turn around when hears someone coming from the path on his right, heavy footsteps hitting the ground with so much force that the sound echoes through the air. The guard turns around, just as Khaotung sprints past Boom, and spots them both.

Khaotung freezes, and for a second, it feels like the Earth has stopped spinning. Nobody is moving, the guard assessing the situation as he watches the two men a short distance away from him. Boom can see the wheels turning inside his head, choosing which one of them he is going to catch. Boom starts moving backwards slowly. One step at a time. If he reaches the panoramic tower, he might have a chance to escape the guard. He is about to make a run for it when he feels arms wrap around him from behind. At first, he thinks he got ambushed by another guard.

“Here,” First shouts from behind him, drawing the guard’s attention.

“What the…?” Boom tries to free himself from First’s arms, but his grip on his waist is strong. “What are you doing?” he asks, panicking as he sees the guard lunge forward, his eyes focused on them.

First doesn’t answer him.

“‘Tung, go! Go to your base now!” he shouts instead.

Boom watches Khaotung startle, his eyes growing wide as he looks at them before he takes off at full speed just as the guard reaches them. He taps them both on the shoulder.

“Freeze,” he exclaims, starting the timer in his hand.

Boom turns around to face First, a frustrated sigh escaping his lips.

“Man, why would you do that? You’re not even on the same team.”

First shrugs his shoulders, not answering Boom’s question.

Boom sighs once more, tapping on his earpiece to inform his teammates.

“Guys, I have the last star.” He hears Aou and Junior cheer on the other side. “But I got caught by a guard.”

“Where are you?” Junior asks. “I can join you and take the star to our base.”

“Near the panoramic tower.”

“I’m at the Flora Glasshouse. I’m on my way.” Boom can hear Junior’s heavy breathing as he starts running. “If your penalty is finished before I arrive, just run to the base as fast as you can.”

“I just saw P’Earth, guys,” Aou tells them, his voice on edge. “He’s on his way to Team Red’s base with their last star.”

“Try to stop him,” Boom exclaims.

“What?”

“First just restrained me and we both got caught by a guard because of it. I’m pretty sure he knew they were almost done, and that’s why he did it.”

Boom hears Aou sigh.

“Aou, go catch P’Earth,” Junior says. “Boom’s right. We need to stop them.”

“P’Earth, I think Team Blue is trying to catch you. Go to our base as fast as you can. Now!”

Boom startles at First’s voice.

“Shit! First just warned P’Earth,” he tells his teammates, frustration lacing his words.

“I can see him in the distance,” Aou answers. “I’ll catch him, don’t worry, Phi.”

Boom waits anxiously, staring at the timer in the guard’s hand as the seconds pass slowly, one by one. When the guard frees him and First, Boom turns around and takes off at full speed, his mind entirely focused on his mission. He runs down the path he came from, seeing Junior running towards him in the distance.

“Go,” Junior shouts, “don’t wait for me.”

Boom emerges on the walkway leading to the Royal Pavilion in no time, not feeling the ache in his legs as his eyes stay fixed on the building in front of him. He pushes his body to its limit, gaining speed as he crosses the remaining distance to get to their base. His face falls when he arrives there, seeing the other teams’ bases. All their stars are on their stands. Boom collapses to the ground, his knees giving out.

“Phi!” Aou crouches down in front of him, looking at him with worried eyes. “Are you okay?”

“I’m so sorry,” Boom whispers, dejected. “I didn’t make it back in time.”

Aou sighs. He wraps his arms around Boom’s shoulders, hugging him tight.

“It’s okay, Phi. It’s not your fault. I couldn’t catch P’Earth either.”

“You both did great,” Junior interjects, stopping beside them, his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. “Here,” he adds, holding out his hand to help Boom stand up.

“Thanks,” Boom says, taking Junior’s hand. “And I’m really sorry, guys.”

“No need to be sorry,” Junior reassures him. “We all did our best.”

Beside him, Aou nods eagerly.

“P’Junior’s right, P’Boom. You did great. We all did great.”

The producer asks them to join the other teams and stand in front of their base to shoot the final result reveal. Then, Team Blue has to shoot a last interview. They give their impressions on the challenge of the day, Boom explaining how frustrated he felt at times while Junior insists on all the fun he had playing hide and seek with the guards.

“Who will you root for? Team Red or Team Green?” one of the crew members asks from behind the camera.

“For me, I’d say Team Red,” Aou starts. “They showed a lot of teamwork today again and I’m sure they have great chances to win.”

“Team Green for me,” Junior answers, not adding any reason as to why he would choose that team.

Beside him, Aou starts cackling.

“Of course, you’d choose them.”

Junior shrugs, trying to appear unaffected, but his ears are tinged pink.

“I always root for the underdog.”

“What about you, Boom?”

“Team Green. Only because I’m petty,” he admits with a sheepish smile.

“Cut!” the PD exclaims, “Great job, guys. We’re done for today. Let’s get you back to the hotel.”

The drive back is quiet; everyone being exhausted after a long day. At the back of the van, Boom nods off, his head against Aou’s shoulder, the younger man’s soft inhales and exhales lulling him to sleep.

“Phi.”

Boom opens his eyes, feeling fingers gently caressing his cheek. Aou is looking at him tenderly, his eyes full of warmth. Boom’s heart skips a beat.

“We’re at the hotel,” Aou whispers, his voice low, like he is afraid to burst the bubble they are in.

Boom looks around him, realizing they are the only people left in the van.

“Where is everyone?”

“They went back to eat. We’ve been here for fifteen minutes.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Boom asks, confused.

“You were sleeping so peacefully, I didn’t have the heart to,” Aou admits, avoiding Boom’s eyes.

Boom freezes.

“Why are you blushing?”

Aou startles, opening the door to get out of the van, his back turned to Boom.

“Let’s go, Phi. I’m hungry.”

After a quick dinner, they meet the crew one last time to get their instructions from the producer for the next day of filming.

“Team Red and Green, I’ll need you to be ready by 8 am tomorrow. We’ll have two vans take you to the next challenge,” he starts, looking at Earth, Mix and First, and Mark, Gawin and Khaotung. “As for the other two teams,” he adds, turning towards the remaining actors, “you can sleep in tomorrow. You’ll leave around 10 am to spend the day at a nearby orphanage. Now, you can spend the rest of the evening as you please, but don’t forget to get some sleep.”

The producer claps his hands excitedly, bidding everyone a good night before leaving with the filming crew.

“Who wants to go out and have a drink?” Mix asks, a playful grin on his face, after they all finished eating dinner at the hotel restaurant.

Boom hesitates, but before he can answer, he feels a tug on his wrist.

“P’Boom and I are gonna head to bed,” Aou says. “Today was a long day. Right, Phi?”

He looks at Boom with hopeful eyes, not minding Mix’s snickers. Boom nods.

“Yes. I’m exhausted,” he agrees, unable to say no to Aou when he looks at him with his puppy eyes.

“Too bad. Anyone else?”

“I’m in,” Junior answers with a smile. He turns to Mark, standing on his left. “Are you coming too?”

Mark hums in answer. Earth, Force, Book and Chimon join the group to find a bar nearby, while the others decide to go back to their rooms and enjoy a quiet night in. Boom follows Aou silently, staring at his fingers still wrapped around his wrist. After they enter their room, Aou lets go of Boom’s wrist, going to his bed to get some clean clothes before he heads to the bathroom.

“Do you mind if I take a shower first?” he asks Boom.

Boom shakes his head.

“Go ahead.”

Alone in the room, he plops down on the couch near the window, taking a look at the scenery outside, watching the stars scattered across the night sky. He feels calm. He doesn’t remember the last time he has felt at peace like this.

“It’s so pretty.”

Boom startles, so lost in his thoughts he hadn’t heard Aou join him on the couch. Aou sits down beside him, his knee brushing against Boom’s thigh as he sits cross-legged.

“I wish we could stay longer,” Boom whispers.

“You’re only saying this because you know we don’t have another challenge tomorrow,” Aou retorts with a fond laugh.

Boom chuckles.

“You might be right.” He pauses for a beat. “But I also like it here. It’s so peaceful.”

“And you can sleep here,” Aou adds, giving Boom an all-knowing look.

Boom nods.

“Yes. I can sleep here.”

“Do you feel a bit better? Now that you’re sleeping more.”

Boom hums in answer.

“Do you want to go to bed now?” Aou whispers, his eyes catching Boom’s, staring at him intently.

Boom hums again.

“I’ll just take a quick shower first.”

When Boom comes back from his shower, Aou is lying in his bed, the covers tucked under his armpits. When he sees Boom, he opens his arms wide, grinning at him.

“Do you want a hug?” Boom asks, chuckling.

Aou nods. Boom sits down on the bed, leaning forward until he is resting against Aou’s chest, feeling his arms wrap around his back, pulling him closer to him.

“Am I supposed to sleep like this?”

Aou laughs, the sound echoing around the quiet room. He wriggles on the bed, making some space for Boom.

“Come here,” he whispers, loosening his hold around Boom to let him get more comfortable.

Boom lies down, snuggling against Aou, pushing his head against Aou’s chest. He hums contentedly, taking Aou’s arm to put it around his waist.

“Goodnight, Aou,” he whispers, his cheek pressed against Aou’s t-shirt.

“Goodnight, Phi.”

***

When Boom wakes up the next morning, the room is still dark. For a second, he is confused. He feels tired and doesn’t understand what woke him up. Then, he realizes he is alone in bed. Before he can start panicking, the bathroom door opens and a sleepy Aou tiptoes to the bed, slipping under the covers before he pulls Boom back in his arms.

“I thought you were up early today,” Boom whispers, pushing his face against the crook of Aou’s neck, inhaling his comforting scent.

Aou laughs softly,

“At 4 am? No way. I just had to use the bathroom.” He pauses for a beat, his voice turning teasing. “Why? Did you miss me?”

Boom hums, snuggling closer to Aou. Then, he freezes, feeling Aou’s body go taut. He can feel Aou’s heart racing through his thin t-shirt. His palms getting sweaty against his arms. He is worried he made a mistake. He should have lied through his teeth rather than admit he did miss Aou. Miss his warmth. Miss the comfort of his embrace.

“Go back to sleep,” he mumbles, his lips brushing against Aou’s skin.

Aou sighs, his body relaxing. His hands slide down to rest against the small of Boom’s back. He presses a soft kiss to the crown of Boom’s head.

“You too, Phi.”

They sleep for a few more hours.

The next time Boom wakes up, he feels well-rested. He is lying on his side, his chest pressed against Aou’s back, his arm wrapped around Aou’s waist. His hand is under Aou’s t-shirt, his fingers splayed against his warm skin. His thumb strokes Aou’s hip softly, feeling goosebumps form under the pad of his finger.

“It tickles, Phi,” Aou mumbles, his voice thick with sleep.

“Sorry.”

Boom starts moving his hand back, but then Aou grabs his wrist, his fingers closing gently around it, keeping Boom’s hand in place.

“Don’t stop,” he whispers, pushing Boom’s fingers to press more firmly against his skin.

He guides Boom’s hand slowly up his body, from his hip to his stomach, then up his chest, his skin warming up as Boom’s fingers run over it, his muscles contracting in response to the soft touches.

“Phi,” he moans, pushing his body back, flush against Boom.

Boom freezes. His heart is beating so fast he is afraid it might burst out of his chest. Aou’s skin feels so warm. The way he presses against Boom’s body so invitingly is too much. Boom doesn’t think he can resist Aou. He is too weak to resist him. He lowers his head, pressing his lips softly against Aou’s nape. Then he opens his mouth, letting his tongue run over the skin, tasting sweetness and a subtle hint of saltiness.

Boom moves his hand up, letting it slide out of the collar of Aou’s t-shirt, his fingers wrapping around Aou’s chin gently to turn his head to the side. He mouths at Aou’s neck, his lips going up to his cheek, then to the corner of his lips. His tongue brushes against Aou’s lips teasingly, and just when Aou opens his mouth, inviting Boom inside, Aou’s phone starts ringing loudly.

They both startle, Boom almost falling out of the bed in shock. Aou rolls onto his stomach, grabbing his phone from the nightstand to answer. He clears his voice.

“Hello?”

Boom can hear Junior’s voice on the other end, even though he cannot understand what he is saying. Aou keeps humming and nodding, listening intently to what Junior is telling him. When he hangs up, he sits up, his back facing Boom.

“They’re waiting for us,” he tells him, standing up from the bed.

He goes to the bathroom, closing the door behind him without ever glancing back at Boom.

Boom sighs heavily. He doesn’t know how he can face Aou after what they just did. He is afraid Aou might be upset with him. Scratch that, he is certain Aou is upset with him. He was half asleep and probably didn’t even realize what he was doing. Boom feels bad. Dirty. Like he took advantage of Aou.

When Aou comes back from his shower, he acts like nothing happened. Still, he can’t look Boom in the eye, instead rummaging through his bag like he is searching for something.

“Aou, about what happened…” Boom starts, trying to clear the air between them.

“Don’t worry about it, Phi,” Aou answers, not even turning around, “we were both half asleep. Let’s pretend like nothing happened.”

Boom wants to tell Aou he doesn’t want to pretend like nothing happened. He wants to tell him he knew exactly what he was doing. He wanted to do it. But he can see the way Aou’s shoulders tense in anticipation. The way he clenches his hands around the shirt he is holding.

“Okay,” he mutters, walking past Aou to go to the bathroom.

When they head to breakfast, the air around them is so thick everyone can sense something is wrong.

“What happened?” Junior whispers, looking at Boom with questioning eyes.

“Nothing, Phi, don’t worry.”

Junior scoffs.

“Aou is sitting at the other side of the table, looking like a kicked puppy, and he hasn’t even glanced at you once since you both sat down. Even a blind man would see there is something wrong with you two.”

“He’s upset with me,” Boom admits, his voice so low only Junior can hear it.

“Why? What did you do?”

Boom flushes, lowering his head to take a sip from his mug, the steam rising from the hot tea blurring his features. Beside him, Junior gasps.

“Did you… make a move on him?”

Boom freezes.

“I-I didn’t…” he starts, rubbing at his face frustratedly. “I think I made a mistake.” Then, Junior’s words register in his brain. He turns his head to look at him, his eyes big. “Wait! What makes you think I would make a move on him?”

“Please, you’re not subtle,” Junior answers, rolling his eyes. “You can’t keep your eyes off him.”

“Am I that obvious?” Boom mutters under his breath.

“You are.” Junior pats Boom’s shoulder reassuringly. “But I’m sure he’s not upset with you.”

“How could he not be? I took advantage of him,” Boom admits in a whisper.

Junior shakes his head, looking at Boom with compassion.

“I don’t know what happened, but I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding. After all, Aou is just as much in…”

Before Junior can finish his sentence, a staff member enters the hotel restaurant, asking all the actors to finish their breakfast and meet her in the lobby in five minutes.

They take a van to go to the orphanage where they will spend the day, a filming crew following them to shoot some footage. Boom sits beside Junior, Aou having rushed to sit at the back with Force, not even sparing Boom a glance. Aou spends the whole ride chatting excitedly with Force, filling the van with his loud laugh. Boom spends the ride with his teeth clenched, feeling anger rise in him with each passing second. As soon as they stop in front of the orphanage, he gets out of the van, only waiting for Junior before heading to the entrance.

They meet the director at the door. After showing them around the premises, she asks them to form three teams of two people and assigns them different tasks. Boom teams up with Junior, following him to the library. They spend the morning going through dozens of books; checking their physical condition, sorting them by category before putting them away on the shelves they cleaned beforehand.

They take a break to have lunch with the rest of their team, sharing a meal prepared by the director to thank them for their help. Boom keeps glancing at Aou, sitting on the opposite side of the room, chatting animatedly with Chimon.

“You know you can go talk to him instead of staring holes into his head?” Force says as he sits down beside Boom.

Boom glares at him, turning around towards Junior, his back facing Force.

“Wow.” Force chuckles. “Someone is in a sour mood today.”

“There’s a lot of empty spots there,” Boom grumbles, gesturing towards the other side of the room. “Why don’t you go have a chat with Aou? You two seem thick as thieves.”

Junior snorts.

Force stands up from the bench.

“You know what? I will. At least, I’m willing to talk to him.”

Boom springs up from the bench, his fists clenched at his sides.

“Watch what you’re saying,” he warns.

“Oh-ho,” Junior exclaims, grabbing Boom’s arm to make him sit back down. “Calm down, Boom.” He turns towards Force. “Do you mind giving us a minute?”

Force nods, leaving the room.

“Don’t get angry,” Junior tells Boom.

“How can I not? He’s getting on my nerves on purpose.”

“But, you know,” Junior starts, “He’s not wrong. Don’t look at me like that,” he adds, unimpressed by Boom’s glare. “You should talk to Aou.”

“He doesn’t want to talk to me,” Boom mutters.

“Are you sure about that? Then why does he keep looking this way?”

“What?”

Boom turns around, catching Aou staring at him. When he notices Boom’s eyes on him, Aou lowers his head, his cheeks red at getting caught.

“See,” Junior tells Boom. “You’re both idiots. Just talk and make up.”

He stands up, patting Boom on the shoulder before leaving the room. Boom sighs. Maybe he should have a talk with Aou. Get it over with. But before he can join Aou, the director enters the room, asking them if they are ready to meet the children.

They spend the afternoon teaching the children. Each team has an assigned subject; English, for Boom and Junior.

“You’re gonna have to be the main teacher, Phi,” Boom tells Junior, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, “I’m not that good at English.”

Junior chuckles.

“It’s okay. How hard can it be? They’re first graders.”

Boom soon realizes he had no reason to be anxious. More than teaching English, the time they spend with the children is meant to give them an opportunity to interact with them. To make these children comfortable and bring them some happiness.

The afternoon passes by in a blur, Boom having so much fun that he even forgets about his situation with Aou. When the director enters the room to tell them the lesson is over, the children start whining, asking for ten more minutes.

A little girl clings to Boom’s arm, her big round eyes looking up at him, full of hope.

“Teacher Boom, you will come back, right?”

Boom smiles warmly at her, ruffling her hair fondly.

“Of course, Nong Prim. I’ll come back.”

She cheers, hugging him tight.

When they leave the children, Boom makes sure to ask the director for her contact information, intending to keep his promise to the little girl.

The drive back to the hotel is silent for the most part, only interrupted by Junior’s sudden cheer as he checks his phone, informing the others with a proud grin that Team Green won the last challenge. Boom feels tense. He is sitting near the window, Aou by his side. He was surprised when Aou asked Junior to switch seats with him, sitting down beside Boom without a word. The both of them are not saying anything, and Boom can feel the tension coming from Aou, but he doesn’t look at him. Instead, he stares out the window the whole ride, watching the trees and rice fields in the distance as they drive through the countryside on their way back to the Old City.

When they arrive at the hotel, Boom gets out of the van, heading straight to their room to get changed before dinner. He doesn’t wait for Aou, hoping he will not follow him. He does.

“Phi,” Aou starts as soon as the door to their room closes behind him.

Boom sighs.

“What?”

“Are you upset with me?”

Aou’s voice is small. So low Boom can barely hear it over the hum of the air conditioner. He turns around, facing Aou, his chest aching at the sight in front of him. Aou has his eyes lowered to the ground; he is playing with the hem of his t-shirt nervously. He looks small. Scared.

“I’m not,” Boom answers, his voice soft.

Aou looks up at him with teary eyes.

“Then why didn’t you talk to me at all today?”

Boom scoffs.

“Weren’t you the one avoiding me all day?” he retorts, feeling frustration bubbling inside him.

Aou shakes his head, his eyes darting around.

“I was just… trying to give you some space,” he admits in a whisper.

Boom pauses. He takes a step forward, putting his hand on Aou’s shoulder, squeezing it softly.

“I’m not upset with you, Aou.”

He lifts his hand, his fingers wiping off the tears from Aou’s cheeks gently.

“Then, we’re okay, right?”

Boom sighs. He is not okay. But he can’t tell Aou. Aou can’t know.

“We’re okay.”

Aou smiles at him, so bright it makes Boom’s heart skip a beat. So warm it makes him want to cry.

“Now, let’s get changed and join the others.”

Aou nods and in no time, they are on their way down to meet their friends.

For their last night in Chiang Mai, they decide to go to a bar near the hotel, to decompress and have some fun before they go back to Bangkok. The night starts quite well for Boom, now that Aou is back to his usual bubbly self. He enjoys the music coming out of the speakers and the jokes shared amongst their group.

“Drink more,” Mix exclaims, handing a full glass of beer to First, sitting on his right. “That’s the least you can do to make it up to us after your stunt earlier today.”

First nods sheepishly, taking the drink from Mix’s hand. Before he can start drinking, Khaotung grabs his arm, stopping him.

“Don’t be too hard on him,” Khaotung says, turning to Mix, “he didn’t do it on purpose.” He then turns back to First, taking the glass from his hand. “And you, don’t drink too much, or you’re gonna be sick later.”

First nods, smiling thankfully at Khaotung.

“What happened?” Boom asks, lost.

“Our dear friend First,” Mix starts, a twinkle in his eye, “decided he wanted to play against his own teammates today.”

Mix launches into a monologue about the day’s mission – a relay race at a famous water park nearby, explaining how First made Earth fall in the water several times while he was supposed to help him cross a bridge, making their team lose precious minutes and ending their chances of winning the challenge.

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” First mumbles, hiding his face behind his glass.

Boom rolls his eyes at him.

“As if you didn’t help their team right from the start,” he grumbles, still not over First’s betrayal during the second mission.

“Stop, guys, let’s just enjoy the evening and cheer for our winners,” Junior interjects, lifting his glass, his other arm wrapped protectively around Mark’s shoulders.

“Of course, you’re going to cheer,” Aou retorts, laughing. “Your boyfriend won the game.”

Junior shrugs, a proud smile on his face, yelping as Mark elbows his ribs.

“What?” he exclaims, rubbing at his side with a scowl, “Can’t I be proud of my boyfriend?”

Mark shakes his head in exasperation, but a small smile lights up his face.

“Drink,” he answers, gently pushing Junior’s glass to his lips.

“Yes, Teerak.”

The atmosphere is relaxed, Boom feels the tension of the day slowly leaving his body, replaced by a pleasant kind of sluggishness. He drinks and chats with Earth and Mix, sharing anecdotes about their day, laughing at the way Earth imitates First as he pushed him down the bridge instead of lifting him up, his eyes growing comically wide with mock fear.

Boom talks about their time at the orphanage, his whole face lighting up as he mentions the children they spent time with, laughing as he shares a cute story about two of them going on an impromptu battle to see which one of them knew more words in English.

“And then they spent five minutes listing all the words they knew,” Boom says with a chuckle. “It was so cute.”

“Seems like you had a great time,” Earth says, wrapping his arm around Boom’s shoulders. “I heard from Book that you were quite… grumpy in the morning.”

Boom scoffs.

“I was not grumpy.”

Earth shakes his head. Beside him, Mix snorts, almost choking on his beer.

“If you say so,” he chuckles after he regains his breath.

Boom sighs in resignation. He stands up from the bench he is sitting on.

“Don’t leave, I’ll stop teasing you,” Mix tells him, blinking innocently at him.

“I need to go to the restroom.”

Boom leaves the room to escape Mix’s all-knowing gaze, making his way out of the bar. He just needs some fresh air, he tells himself, then he will join the others again. He stops short when he hears Aou’s voice. Mentioning his name.

“P’Boom only…”

He moves carefully, staying in the shadows as he peeks around the corner, seeing Aou and Mark standing a few feet away from him, leaning against the wall. Boom pricks up his ears to try to hear their conversation.

“Are you sure?” Mark is saying, his eyes focused on Aou’s face.

“Yes. We’re just friends, Phi.” Aou sighs, his hands tugging at his hair. “P’Boom’s my friend.”

Boom can almost hear the cracking sound his heart makes as it shatters into a million pieces, like a vase that fell to the ground. He turns around, his footsteps hurried, to go back inside the bar. Back with the others, he sits down and wastes no time downing the glass in front of him.

“One more,” he tells Junior, pushing the glass towards him.

“Slow down,” Junior retorts. “Do you want to get drunk?”

Boom nods, taking the pitch of beer from Junior’s hands to pour himself another glass, downing it in one go. When Aou and Mark come back, Boom is at his fourth glass of beer.

“You should try to reason with him,” Junior tells Aou, a worried look on his face. “He’s been chugging beer like he hasn’t had anything to drink in days.”

Aou sits down beside him, his hand going over Boom’s arm to stop him from drinking more.

“Stop, Phi,” he says, “Why are you drinking so much?”

Boom shrugs his hand off, downing the rest of his glass.

“More,” he says, his words slurred.

“I think you’ve had enough,” Aou retorts, putting his arms around Boom to help him stand up. “I’ll bring him back to the hotel,” he says, looking at their friends sitting around the table. “Goodnight, guys.”

“Do you need any help?” Mark asks him.

“It’s okay, Phi, don’t worry. I’m okay.”

Boom grumbles, his hands gripping the table to stop Aou from taking him out of the bar.

“I want to drink more,” he whines.

“Phi, please,” Aou begs. “Let’s just go back.”

“No. I don’t want to go back.”

“Phi, you’re not giving me a choice,” Aou warns him, his patience running thin.

“Why? Are you going to carry me back to the hotel?” Boom asks, challenging.

He doesn’t expect Aou to do it. He just wants to get on his nerves, to find a way to get back at him for the ache he feels in his chest. Even in his current state, Boom knows he is being petty, but he can’t help it. He yelps when he feels Aou’s arms go around his body, lifting him off the ground as if he weighed nothing.

“You asked for it,” Aou mumbles, making his way out of the bar with Boom tucked safely into his arms.

Boom doesn’t even try to fight him. He is exhausted, he feels dizzy, and Aou’s chest feels warm and safe. He mumbles empty threats all the way back, but his arms are around Aou’s neck, his head pressed against Aou’s shoulder.

When they arrive in front of their room, Aou lowers Boom to the ground carefully, putting Boom’s arm around his shoulders to support his weight as he grabs his keycard from his pocket to unlock the door. They stumble through the door, Aou helping Boom walk to his bed and letting him down gently. Boom hears him shuffle around the room before he comes back and sits down beside Boom, pressing a cool towel against his cheek.

“Can you take a shower? Or do you need me to give you a towel bath?” Aou asks him softly.

Boom groans, putting his hand over Aou’s to press the towel more firmly against his skin.

“I’ll take a shower,” he mumbles. “But let me stay like this for a minute.”

Boom moves his fingers slowly, stroking the back of Aou’s hand gently.

“Your skin is so soft,” he whispers.

“Phi, you should go take a shower and get some sleep.”

Boom opens his eyes slowly, blinking at Aou. He freezes.

“Why is your face so red?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. “Are you sick?”

He sits up, his eyes growing big.

“Don’t tell me you carried me all the way here while having a fever?”

He lifts his hand to Aou’s forehead, checking the temperature of his skin.

“I’m okay, Phi,” Aou answers, moving back, out of reach of Boom’s hand. “Just go take a shower.”

Boom obeys reluctantly, stumbling to the bathroom. In no time, he is showered and wearing a new set of clothes, tucked under the covers in his bed. He closes his eyes, waiting for Aou to join him.

After his shower, Aou turns the lights off before climbing into his own bed.

“Are you not going to sleep with me tonight?” Boom asks, his voice small.

“I’m afraid it might be uncomfortable for you,” Aou answers.

It won’t, Boom wants to scream. I want you to sleep in my bed – in my arms, he wants to tell Aou. But he doesn’t say anything. He turns around, his back facing Aou, and lets the tears he held back all night run down his face freely.

“Phi,” Aou whispers, his voice strained. “Are you crying?”

Boom sniffles.

“I’m not.”

Boom feels the mattress dip as Aou slips under the covers behind him.

“Liar,” Aou whispers, his hand going around Boom’s body to rest against his neck, his finger pads wet from the tears sliding down Boom’s skin.

“Didn’t you say you wouldn’t sleep in my bed?” Boom retorts.

“I didn’t know it would make you cry.”

Boom huffs.

“Who said that’s the reason I’m crying?”

Aou pulls at Boom’s shoulder gently, making him turn around before hugging him with one arm, his hand going down to rest on Boom’s waist.

“I don’t know why you’re crying,” he says softly, his other hand lifted to wipe the tears away from Boom’s cheeks. “But I don’t like it. Please, stop crying.”

Boom huffs once again, not certain whether he should cry more or laugh.

“You’re the worst,” he mutters, snuggling closer to Aou’s body.

“I know,” Aou answers, tightening his grip on Boom’s waist. “You can hate me all you want, but now, get some sleep.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“It’s okay, Phi,” Aou whispers, running his fingers through Boom’s hair gently. “Just sleep.”

Boom shakes his head.

“No. I’m serious, Aou. I don’t hate you.”

“I know, Phi.”

“I love you.”

Aou freezes.

“You’re drunk, Phi. You need to get some sleep.”

Boom hums, pressing his lips against Aou’s neck.

“I love you,” he mumbles against Aou’s skin, finally falling asleep.

***

When Boom wakes up the next morning, he feels lost for a second. He remembers drinking a lot, but most of the night is only a blurry memory. He opens his eyes, wincing at the strong light making his head pound. He can hear the shower running in the background, Aou already up for the day. He sits up slowly, fighting the dizziness that comes with his hangover.

As Aou leaves the bathroom, he stops in his tracks when his eyes meet Boom’s questioning gaze. He lowers his head, toweling his hair dry, his voice cheerful, but sounding forced to Boom’s ears.

“Good morning, Phi. How are you feeling? Like shit, I presume,” he rambles. “I prepared some painkillers for you,” he adds, gesturing vaguely at the nightstand near Boom’s bed. “You should take them now.”

“Thanks, Aou.”

Aou turns back, the towel in his hand, to rummage through his bag.

“No problem, Phi.”

Boom grabs the painkillers and glass of water from the nightstand, swallowing two pills, hoping he will get some relief soon.

“So, what happened exactly?” he asks Aou.

Aou freezes, the towel falling out of his hand and hitting the ground with a soft thud.

“You don’t remember?” he asks, turning to look at Boom, his eyes wide.

Boom shakes his head.

“I remember drinking at the bar, and I think I vaguely remember coming back to the hotel, but nothing else.”

“I carried you,” Aou mumbles.

“Huh?”

“I said, I carried you back to the hotel,” Aou says, his voice loud and clear this time.

Boom startles.

“Sorry,” he mutters, scratching his neck awkwardly. “I must have been a mess.”

“You were.”

“Sorry.”

“You seem to say sorry an awful lot lately,” Aou retorts, his voice on edge.

“Did I do something wrong?” Boom asks.

He feels like Aou is angry at him, like he did something he shouldn’t have done.

“No.”

“Then why do you look angry?”

“I’m not angry.” Aou sighs heavily. “I’m just…” He pauses for a beat, bending down to pick up the towel. “You know what, forget it. We have to leave the hotel in ten minutes, so you better hurry up.”

“What?” Boom exclaims, jumping up to gather all his stuff, putting it in his bag anyhow. “Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?”

“And have you grumpy all day? No, thanks,” Aou retorts, rolling his eyes. “I planned to wake you up after my shower but you were already up.”

Boom doesn’t answer, hurrying to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

The drive back to Bangkok is peaceful, most people sleeping or listening to music, each in their own bubble as the bus travels through the Thai countryside.

“So, how do you feel?” Junior asks, turning around to look at Boom sitting on the opposite side of the aisle. “Doesn’t your head hurt too much?”

Boom shakes his head, whispering to make sure he doesn’t wake Aou, sleeping on the seat next to him.

“I took some painkillers earlier.”

“You gave us quite a show last night,” Junior chuckles.

“Did I?”

Junior nods.

“I had never seen this side of you before.”

Boom looks at him, confused.

“Which side?”

“The whiny side. You were like a little kid who doesn’t want to leave the playground when his mom wants to go back home.”

Boom flushes.

“Please tell me I didn’t say anything bad.”

“I don’t think you did. But you ragebaited Aou into carrying you out of the bar.”

“I did what?” Boom splutters.

While Aou had told him about carrying him back, he hadn’t realized it was a scheme of his own doing.

“Can you lower your voices?” Mark grumbles from Junior’s side. “Some people are trying to sleep.”

“Sorry, Teerak,” Junior answers, pulling Mark’s head to rest against his shoulder, stroking his hair softly. He turns back towards Boom, shooting him an apologetic look. “Try to get some sleep too, Boom. You look exhausted.”

Boom nods, pushing his head back against the headrest and closing his eyes. He feels a weight on his side, Aou snuggling close to him, his head resting on his shoulder, his hand sliding down Boom’s arm until his fingers close around his wrist, stroking the skin gently.

“Your skin’s so soft,” he mumbles in his sleep.

Boom freezes, opening his eyes in shock. Aou’s words echo his own words from the night before, opening the floodgates to let all his memories flow freely, overwhelming him.

Oh no.

Boom wants to scream. He wants to cry. He wants to jump through the window of the moving bus and let his body crash against the pavement. Anything but stay seated beside Aou, his head tucked against his neck, his slow breaths hitting Boom’s skin with warmth.

Now he understands why Aou seemed so weird earlier that morning. He was angry. And why wouldn’t he be, when the person he considered his friend confessed to him?

Boom can’t believe a few beers were all it took to spill the secret he had kept hidden for so long. At least, he thinks bitterly, should Aou talk about it someday, Boom could blame the alcohol for his confession.

Boom spends the rest of the ride back worrying Aou will want to distance himself from him after what happened. When they arrive in Bangkok, he pushes Aou’s head gently to rest against the window, like he didn’t spend the whole ride snuggled up against Boom’s body. It’s better that way, he thinks. Aou wouldn’t want to sleep so close to him now that he knew Boom loved him.

When Boom gets back home, he sighs in relief. Finally on his own, he can let his body lower its last defenses. He collapses on his couch, pressing his face against a pillow to muffle his cries. He cries for hours, until he feels like he has no tears left to cry. Until his body feels so exhausted even crying seems impossible.

That night, Boom doesn’t get a wink of sleep.

The next morning, he promises himself he won’t cave in this time. He doesn’t need Aou to fall asleep. And if he does, then he would rather not sleep. After all, he has spent over one month sleeping only a couple of hours a night. He knows how it feels. He just needs to get used to it again. How hard can it be?

He lasts a week. A week packed with schedules with Aou. A week of pretending it doesn’t hurt him every time he thinks about the words Aou told Mark that night. Pretending he doesn’t feel embarrassed about his own words. Pretending he doesn’t miss the warmth of Aou’s arms around him and the slow beat of his heart against his chest.

After another sleepless night and exhausting day of shooting, his resolve crumbles. When Aou drives him back home that night, Boom doesn’t get out of the car, instead turning around to face him, trying to calm his fast-beating heart as he looks at Aou with a controlled expression.

“Do you want to sleep at my place?”

The words linger in the air between them, thick and full of meaning.

Boom tries to look unaffected.

“We have to go back to the studio early tomorrow anyway, so you’ll get more sleep if you stay here.”

For a moment, Aou doesn’t answer, instead staring at Boom intently, like he is trying to read his mind. Then, he nods once, driving his car to the parking lot without a word.

Inside Boom’s condo, the air is thick with tension, both men awkwardly shuffling around one another, like they are just learning a new dance and haven’t memorized every step yet.

“You can go take a shower first,” Boom tells Aou, heading to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water.

Aou nods, leaving the room in silence.

After his shower, Boom tells him to make himself comfortable, then he goes to the bathroom. He comes back fifteen minutes later, freshly showered, and sees Aou sitting on the couch, in the exact same position he was in when Boom left the room. His shoulders are tense. His face a mask of control.

“I can take the couch,” he says, avoiding Boom’s eyes.

Boom sighs.

“Nonsense. You can sleep in my bed.”

“Do you want me to?”

The words sound like a challenge. Or rather, like a door for Boom to open, if he wants to. He does.

“Yes.” He pauses. “Please.”

Aou nods, standing up to take Boom’s hand before dragging him to the bedroom. He pushes him down on the bed gently, then crawls behind him, his arms wrapping around Boom’s waist, his chest flush against Boom’s back.

Boom turns around, snuggling closer in Aou’s arms until his head rests against his shoulder. He wraps an arm around Aou, his fingers splayed against his back.

He sighs contentedly, finally feeling at ease. So much for getting over Aou, the little voice in his head nags at him, but he doesn’t pay any attention to it, pushing his worries out of his mind for the night.

“You know,” Aou whispers, his words sending warm puffs of air against Boom’s head, “I’m starting to think you’re only using me to get some sleep.”

“Sorry,” Boom mumbles, the words muffled against Aou’s t-shirt.

Aou gasps. He moves back, staring at Boom with wide eyes.

“Are you really?”

“I don’t know,” Boom answers honestly. “Maybe? I mean, it’s not like I’m trying to use you,” he starts rambling, panicking when he sees the hurt look on Aou’s face. “I just… I sleep better when I’m with you.”

Aou sighs, a fond look crossing his features. He pulls Boom back in his arms, holding him tight against his chest.

“I know.” The words are whispered against Boom’s hair. “I’m happy to help you.”

“But I don’t want you to feel like I’m using or pressuring you,” Boom whines.

“I know.” Aou strokes Boom’s hair, his fingers running through the strands gently. “If you feel bad, how about giving me something in exchange?”

Boom scoffs.

“I’m not gonna pay you to sleep with me.”

Aou chuckles.

“I’m not talking about money.”

“Then what do you want?”

Aou hums, like he is pondering his answer. But Boom can feel his heart racing through his t-shirt. He is certain Aou knows exactly what he wants.

“How about a kiss for every night I spend with you?”

“Kisses?” Boom asks incredulously, his heart skipping a beat at Aou’s request. “That’s what you want?”

Aou nods, leaning back to catch Boom’s eyes.

“Yes. But I want real kisses. On the lips. And not just a peck.”

Boom shakes his head, laughing softly, not quite believing it.

“You’re quite demanding, aren’t you?”

“Well, I know my worth,” Aou retorts, grinning at Boom.

“Okay,” Boom agrees.

Maybe because he has barely gotten any sleep in a week. Maybe because he missed being close to Aou too much. Maybe because, right now, he doesn’t care about consequences; he only wants to take whatever Aou is willing to give him.

“Okay?”

Aou looks at Boom, surprised. Like he didn’t expect him to agree so easily. Like he didn’t even expect him to agree at all.

“Okay,” Boom repeats. “So that makes, what? Four kisses? Five, if we count today.”

“Eight,” Aou counters, raising a finger as he counts every instance Boom has forgotten. “You slept in my car that one time. And you took a nap twice; once, the day we arrived in Chiang Mai, and then again in the van when we came back from the second challenge.”

“Wow, you’re really keeping count.”

Aou chuckles.

“I just want to make sure our deal is fair.”

Boom hums.

“I don’t need to kiss you eight times tonight, do I?”

“You can do whatever you want, Phi.” Aou answers, a teasing look in his eyes. “You can save some for later if you prefer.”

Boom hums again, lifting his hand to stroke Aou’s cheek. He leans in, his lips brushing against Aou’s mouth softly at first, then pressing more firmly, opening his mouth to take Aou’s upper lip between his lips. He runs his tongue over Aou’s lip, smiling at the small sigh that escapes Aou’s mouth, swallowing the sound as he deepens the kiss. He takes his time, tasting Aou’s mouth, caressing his tongue, enjoying the warmth and sweetness he has craved for so long. Aou’s hand is in his hair, gripping the strands gently to pull his head closer. To tilt his head just the right way to make the slide of their mouths easier. Sweeter.

When they lean back, catching their breaths, Aou has a proud grin on his face.

“One,” he says, winking at Boom.

“Does that only count for one?” Boom asks, his brows furrowed. “It should be at least two kisses.”

Aou shrugs in answer.

“I don’t make the rules.”

Boom huffs, but his smile is fond. His eyes shine bright.

“You did though,” he retorts.

Aou laughs, the sound so sweet it makes Boom’s chest feel warm and fuzzy.

“I did.”

Boom leans in, pressing his lips softly against Aou’s mouth, lingering there for a second.

“I told you pecks don’t count.”

“I know.”

Aou chuckles.

“So, you’re just doing it because you want to kiss me more?” he asks, a teasing glint in his eyes.

Boom nods. He presses one more peck against Aou’s lips, grinning at him as he sees his ears turn red. Then, a frown appears on his face.

“Oh, but do you usually kiss your friends?” he asks Aou.

Aou looks confused.

“I don’t.”

“I don’t understand. Didn’t you tell P’Mark we were friends?”

Aou startles.

“Did you hear us that night?”

Boom nods sheepishly.

“What did you hear exactly?” Aou presses him.

“As I said, you told P’Mark we were friends.”

Aou sighs, his fingers closing gently around Boom’s chin to make him look up at him.

“I did say we were friends. I told him you only saw me as a friend.”

Boom startles, his eyes growing wide.

“Huh? I only see you as a friend?”

Aou nods.

“I haven’t seen you as only my friend in a long time,” Boom admits, the words he has kept close to his heart for so long leaving his lips in a rush.

“I know now.”

Boom looks at Aou, confused.

“You know now?”

Aou nods again, a grin on his lips.

“I don’t think you would kiss your friends like that.”

“And that’s what made you notice my feelings? Not when I actually told you I loved you?”

Aou splutters, his face red.

“Since when did you even remember that?” Before Boom can answer, he goes on. “Anyway, I thought you meant it in a friendly way.”

Boom scoffs.

“I should have kissed you ages ago,” he mutters.

Aou grins, his eyes sparkling. “You definitely should have.” His grin grows wider. “Also, now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure you don’t make your friends moan.”

Boom flushes.

“Are you not embarrassed? You’re the one who moaned.”

“Why should I be embarrassed?” Aou retorts. “I loved the way you made me feel.”

Boom feels his face heat up even more.

“You’re insufferable,” he mutters, shaking his head.

“Please, Phi. You love it.”

Boom pushes Aou’s shoulders, glaring at him.

“Shut up,” he mumbles.

“Make me.”

And Boom does happily.