Chapter Text
Bright sunlight blinds me momentarily, the shift so sudden and unexpected that I freeze in place. One second, I was staring at my locker that was filled to the brim with all kinds of nasty things. Another, I’m being shoved into it, forcefully, by who I can only guess is either Sophia or Emma. And now… I am on a forest trail, sitting on the driver seat of a bull-drawn wagon.
Before I can react in any way, a voice fills my ears.
In the city of Neverwinter, a dwarf named Gundren Rockseeker asked you to bring a wagonload of provisions to the rough-and-tumble settlement of Phandalin, a couple of days' travel southeast of the city.
“Huh?” Dwarf? Neverwinter?
Gundren was clearly excited and more than a little secretive about his reasons for the trip, saying only that he and his brothers had found "something big," and that he'd pay you ten gold pieces each for escorting his supplies safely to Barthen's Provisions, a trading post in Phandalin. He then set out ahead of you on horse, along with a warrior escort named Sildar Hallwinter, claiming he needed to arrive early to "take care of business."
You've spent the last few days following the High Road south from Neverwinter, and you've just recently veered east along the Triboar Trail.
You've encountered no trouble so far, but this territory can be dangerous. Bandits and outlaws have been known to lurk along the trail.
As I tried and failed to locate the source of the deep, feminine voice in my head, I absently flicked the reins in my hands. My eyes, however, were glued to a translucent sheet of paper floating in front of my face.
Taylor Hebert, Warlock 1 (Hexblade)
HP: 11 AC: 15 Speed: 30
Strength: 10
Dexterity: 11+3
Constitution: 12+4
Intelligence: 11+1
Wisdom: 10+2
Charisma: 14+5Proficiencies: deception, investigation, stealth, survival
Cantrips Known: Eldritch Blast, Prestidigitation
Spells Prepared: Armor of Agathys, HexCurrent Adventure: Lost Mines of Phandelver
Rewards on completion: 2 Permanent Warlock Levels, 1 Permanent Ability Score Improvement, 1 Permanent Feat, 1 Permanent Skill Proficiency, 1 roll on Magic Item Tables A, B and C, Any magic items acquired over the course of the Adventure
… Okay. I am hallucinating. Worse, I fell into a coma when I was shoved into my locker. This might very well be the last wild dream of a dying body.
But it all seemed so real. The leather reins in my hands felt like… real leather. The wood of the wagon under me felt like real wood, it even left splinters in my hands when I ran it over the wagon’s surface. I had checked the contents of the wagon as well: piles of mining supplies and food. A dozen sacks of flour, several sacks of salted meats, two barrels of something alcoholic, shovels, picks, crowbars, a dozen each, five lanterns and a small barrel of oil.
I was also dressed differently compared to my usual school outfit. Gone were my hoodie, jeans and boots. In their stead, I was wearing some sort of chainmail. I even had a mace strapped to my belt, which I tried swinging a couple times, and it made an awkwardly sharp clanging sound when I accidentally hit the wagon’s metal frame. I winced at the sound, and decided to put the mace away for now.
Then, my attention shifted back to the translucent sheet of paper. It materialized in front of me whenever I thought of it, and disappeared into the aether when I thought of dismissing it. When I thought of a particular subject displayed on the sheet, information would flood my mind on what it meant and how I could use it.
Take Eldritch Blast, for example. I knew, instinctually, that if I pointed my finger somewhere and uttered the cantrip’s name, a bolt of pure energy would shoot out of my fingertip and blast apart my target. I immediately tried it out, pointing my finger at a tree.
“Eldritch BlaAA!” I didn’t even finish the incantation when a magenta beam of light almost blinded me, and the recoil sent my hand up to smack me right in the nose. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the tree, and it had a deep scorch mark on it where I hit it.
Next, I cast Armor of Agathys. The spell required me to splash myself with water to activate, and when I did, I felt some inner energy reserves of mine deplete completely. The water on my body formed an icy set of armor, and I knew I made a mistake because it would only last one hour, and to recover my energy reserves, I needed to rest.
I decided then, to stop after the next sharp turn and take a Short Rest. The words got capitalized in my head for some reason. But my plans were smashed against the hard surface of reality when, upon turning the sharp turn, my oxen halted in place and refused to move. In front of us, barely fifty feet away, laid two dead horses.
I jumped off the wagon to take a closer look.
Upon closer inspection, you recognize the horses as those belonging to Gundren Rockseeker and Sildar Hallwinter. They’ve been dead for about a day, and it’s clear that arrows killed the horses.
The voice was here again, and I strained to locate its source. My eyes caught a glint of something in the bushes, and I swiveled towards it with a pointed finger.
“Eldritch Blast!” The blinding light hit the bushes and knocked a green figure out of them. A creature, like a little man with green skin, pointy ears and a nose shaped like a lightning bolt, lay charred and dead on the ground.
Three more figures resembling it burst out of the bushes, brandishing crossbows and curved swords.
“Eldritch Blast!” I cried out again, and the magenta light hit one of them, knocking him out as well.
Crossbow bolts flew past me, drawing a wide arc around my body. The two remaining things, goblins, missed me horribly. Then, abandoning their crossbows, they charged me with their swords.
“Eldritch Blast!” This time, the light wasn’t as blinding, and when it hit one of the goblins, it barely did anything. The creature flinched, but then a maddened glint flashed in its eyes.
Their blades struck my body, and the icy armor encasing me lashed out at them with wisps of cold. One of them froze over outright, the one I just hit with my blast. The other flinched long enough for me to smack him on the head with my mace. I tried to be gentle, but also had no luxury to show any mercy. They looked dangerous, and ready to kill me.
Experience: 200/300 (+200 for defeating the Goblins of Cragmaw Tribe)
The words appeared on my translucent sheet of paper, right under my name and class.
I sighed and gathered up their swords. They might come in handy, or… well, I probably wasn’t going to get paid by Gundren. Maybe I could sell them off?
I halted, wondering why or how I switched my outlook into this hallucination so suddenly. Did I decide to play along for now? Might as well, I thought.
Further inspection of my surroundings led me to a trail of tiny, goblin-sized footprints leading somewhere deep into the woods. It seemed like they frequented this place to set up ambushes. Maybe my employer, Gundren Rockseeker, was held captive there? The likelihood of that didn’t seem high, but their bodies weren’t on site either. If I were a goblin bandit, I would just loot the body and leave them there. Or maybe they didn’t want the corpses to scare away their next victims. But then, why leave the horses?
Puzzled, I tied the oxen to a tree nearby and followed the trail northwest. On my way, I’ve gotten caught by a snare and almost fell into a pit. Both situations left me huffing and irritated, but they failed to dissuade me either.
As I reached the end of the trail that led to the mouth of a large cave, another ping sounded in my mind.
Experience: 275/300 (+75 for reaching Cragmaw Hideout)
Huh. I was on the right track, I guess.
The cave was large, with twenty or so foot tall ceilings, and had a stream running out of it and down the hill. On the other side of the stream, there were two goblins in wooden armor, carrying spears and crossbows. They seemed bored, one picking at his nose, while the other was staring at the sky absentmindedly. Hiding in the thicket, I sniped one of them with-
“Eldritch Blast!” He crumpled to the ground. I wasn’t sure if the blast killed them outright or just knocked them out. But defeating them gave me Experience, so I wasn’t really concerned with the outcome. This was all a fever dream anyway.
The second goblin jolted awake and readied his crossbow. But I was faster, and another-
“Eldritch Blast!” Hit him square in the chest. He stood, however, and fired his crossbow. The bolt hit me in the chest. It didn’t pierce the leather apron completely, but the impact hurt nonetheless.
I rushed him with my mace, and the rest was history.
Experience: 375/300 (+100 for defeating the Goblins of Cragmaw Tribe)
As my experience surpassed the 300 point mark, I felt a wave of… something. Nothing changed on the translucent sheet of paper, but I felt like I needed to do something special for the changes to take effect.
I decided to take a Short Rest then. In my first encounter with goblins, two of them hit me with their curved swords, and a portion of their impact carried over through the icy armor. And now, the crossbow hit from this goblin too. It hurt, not going to lie.
I sat down on the boarded up platform the goblins were using as their cover, and watched the cave’s mouth. An hour or so passed before I felt well enough to continue. And my energy reserves seemed to recover as well!
I immediately cast Armor of Agathys and ventured into the cave. There, my path branched out and I had several choices. I could follow the stream up, or turn right into a small room. In the room lay three wolves, chains wound around their necks and connected to a metal rod at the center of the room. The moment I looked inside, the wolves began snarling and tugging against their chains, teeth bared and ready to maul me.
I’m not a cruel person. I wouldn’t hurt animals that were held here against their will. Thinking about it for a bit, I circled back to the two dead goblins, brought them inside and threw them at the wolves. That seemed to calm them down, and after eating their fill, they laid back down to sleep, no longer concerned with me.
Experience: 450/300 (+75 for dealing with the wolves peacefully)
Their kennel connected to a narrow cave, more of a chimney than a corridor, and I highly doubted my own ability to scale the steep passage to reach wherever it led. So I turned back and walked deeper into where the stream was flowing from, and was immediately buffeted by a massive wave of water that knocked me off my feet and carried me out of the cave. Spitting and gasping for breath, I climbed out of the stream and looked back into the cave. Four goblins stood on top of a narrow rope bridge.
“Eldritch Blast!” I didn’t stand on ceremony, and blasted away. Instead of targeting any of the goblins, I aimed for the bridge. My blast hit true, and the bridge collapsed. The goblins survived the fall, but seemed worse for wear as I sniped away at them as they scrambled to their feet.
Experience: 650/300 (+200 for defeating the Goblins of Cragmaw Tribe)
Maybe, just maybe, collapsing the bridge was a bad idea. But I could always find an alternative, so I wasn't too hung up on it. There was the chimney passage in the kennel that likely led to the same place, after all.
Eventually, the strong currents of the stream subsided. The goblins must have constructed a dam at the upper levels of the cave, then opened it up when they saw an intruder. That was my sign to advance.
What followed was a monotonous fight with the goblins just past the steep passage before the bridge. Goblin, Eldritch Blast. Goblin, Eldritch Blast. I started really liking this cantrip. It was much better than swinging my mace around, even though it felt like the mace was more destructive than the cantrip.
The occasional goblin that came too close to me tasted the business end of my blunt weapon, and every hit that connected resulted in a very dead goblin. Meanwhile, sometimes the goblins hit by the Eldritch Blasts remained alive for a second hit. And sometimes, they took three whole hits to drop. But it was practical, it had good range, and the farther I stayed from the enemy, the more I liked the strategy.
Experience: 950/300 (+300 for defeating the Goblins of Cragmaw Tribe)
The last remaining goblin, one that looked an apple taller than the rest, held up a captive human, a knife pressed to his throat. It dragged the human to the edge of the upper level and declared-
“Truce, or this human dies!”
I stalled at his words.
“You can speak?!”
The guy in the goblin’s hands, a middle aged man, laughed weakly. He must be the bodyguard, Sildar.
“Never met a goblin before?”
“Not really.” I confessed.
“Silence! Yeemik speaks, you listen!” The goblin, Yeemik, cried out. “You're strong. Capable. Kill Klarg, bring Yeemik his head. Then, Yeemik will release hostage.”
“Klarg?”
“He's the chief of this tribe.” Sildar supplied helpfully. “A bugbear. Although, I wouldn't trust a goblin’s word. He might not hold up his end of the bargain.”
“Silence!” Yeemik cried out, pressing the knife closer to Sildar’s throat. “Do it, or else!”
I squinted at his reaction. He didn't deny Sildar’s claims. Just doubled down on the threats.
“Or.” I mused. “You let the man go, and leave this cave. And in exchange, I'll leave you alive. Or else, I kill you.”
It pained me to do so. I was missing out on the experience for defeating him! But I wanted Sildar alive. He was the only human around whom I could ask questions.
… In fact, why didn't I talk to the goblins before this?
Yeemik’s brows furrowed in deep thought. It didn't take long for him to make a decision.
“Deal!” He said, shoving Sildar off the ledge. This fucker!
I ran after Sildar, not forgetting to blast Yeemik with an Eldritch Blast on my way down. When I reached him, Sildar was unconscious, blood trickling from his temple.
I carried him out of the stream and applied my very meagre first aid skills to stop the bleeding and minimize further damage. Whatever the result, I did the best I could.
Yeemik was surprisingly alive when I returned to the upper levels. I stopped in front of him, arms crossed.
“Why did you do that?”
“Yeemik let man go! Yeemik did what was asked!” He protested, clutching his singed leg.
“That's not-” I scoffed. “You twisted my words to do what you wanted! Eldritch Blast!”
And so Yeemik was gone. His death left a bitter taste in my mouth. Was it because I knew him by his name?
Whatever the case, I now had a problem at hand. The collapsed bridge that led deeper into the Cragmaw Hideout stood before me. Collapsed. I sighed heavily and decided to take a detour through the kennels. The wolves there seemed nonplussed at my return, so I began my arduous climb up the passage.
Surprisingly, it didn't take long to reach the top. Somehow, I became an expert climber, reaching the height of thirty or so feet in just under thirty seconds.
What greeted me on top was a room filled with crates and sacks, with a fire pit smoldering in the middle. A giant hairy man in leather armor hid behind a stalagmite, his attention on the opening of the cave, clearly where he expected me to come from. Two goblins and a large wolf were similarly hidden behind crates. Huh.
“Eldritch Blast!” I aimed at the wolf first. Partly, it was because the wolf seemed to be the biggest immediate problem, and because I really wanted to find out how much tougher it is compared to goblins.
One of the goblins was quick on the uptake, she whirred around and aimed her crossbow at me. The shot hit me square on the icy chestplate and I saw once again how a wisp of cold rushed at my attacker.
“Eleritch Blast!” I shouted, once again hitting the wolf. It dropped with a yelp.
The second goblin the next to attack, and his shot flew wide, bouncing off the cave walls.
Klarg, the bugbear, roared then.
“You dare defy Klarg?!” He cried out, and threw a javelin at me. Not the rocket, but the spear javelin. It flew wide as well, and in a twist of fate, it bounced back right at the goblin beside him.
The first goblin reloaded his crossbow just then, and shot at… Klarg! Her hand seemed to jerk unexpectedly, and her aim faltered. Klarg cried out once again, but this time, in pain.
I capitalized on his moment of weakness and shot an-
“Eldritch Blast!” at him.
The fight soon devolved into a melee, Klarg abandoning his javelins in favor of a morningstar. A mace with spikes on it.
I sidestepped his first swing, and watched as the last surviving goblin once again shot Klarg’s calves.
“Sorry! Sorry! Something got in my eye!” The goblin apologized profusely. Maybe her aim got worse because of the cold? Or was she secretly resentful of Klarg? Regardless, that gave me the opening I needed to smash Klarg’s head with my mace. A flash accompanied the mace's impact on Klarg’s head as for a split second, I saw his skull as if on x-ray, get pulverized to dust. Klarg fell, breathless.
“Thank you for the assist.” I called out to the goblin girl.
“Not an assist!” She grumbled. Then, understanding dawned upon her widening eyes. “Yes an assist!”
“Your tribe captured a dwarf yesterday. Gundren. Where is he?” I asked, finger ready to point at her.
“Dwarf? There was a dwarf here! Black Spider took him away to Cragmaw Castle!” She responded happily. “You'll let me live, right?”
“Uhh, yeah. Sure!” All my desire for violence subsided with Klarg’s death. I was kind of spent. If she were to attack me, my Armor of Agathys still had a bit of juice left in it. And I knew from experience that that was enough to freeze her completely.
“Good!” She nodded.
“Where's this Cragmaw Castle?” I asked next.
“I can draw you a map!” She offered eagerly. It got awkward to just refer to her as “her” in my mind, so I asked her my last question.
“What's your name?”
“Fish Bait.” She nodded curtly even as her hands were zipping around the floor. “Here!”
She waved at the cave floor where she had drawn a crude map using charcoal she'd probably gotten from the fire pit.
“Thanks. You can go now.” I waved her away.
Experience: 1300/300 (+350 for defeating the Goblins, Wolf and Bugbear of Cragmaw Tribe)
I felt like a dam about to burst. I needed to rest for a while, the energies within me urging me to do so. I refused to comply right away. I needed to ensure Sildar was okay, then get back to my wagon and reach a populated city or town.
Or maybe I could just rest here? Hidden among the crates? The temptation was hard to resist. I chose the softest sack around and laid down on it. For comfort, I shucked off my chain mail and dismissed Armor of Agathys.
I woke up with a start, feeling fully rested and stronger than ever. In front of me, once again, floated my character sheet.
Taylor Hebert, Warlock 3 (Hexblade)
Below my name was the regular contents of my charsheet, and a much longer list of choices.
I had to choose two new spells, two Invocations, and a Pact Boon.
Among the spells, several caught my eye. One of them was a spell called Protection from Evil and Good. It did what it said on the tin. Any creatures listed in its target list: aberrations, celestials, elementals, fey, fiends, and undead; would have a harder time trying to attack me, or affect my mind.
Next was Invisibility. It could last up to an hour or until I cast another spell or attacked someone. Even if it didn't provide any protection during battle, it was perfect for sneaking around.
There were other spells that I wanted. Like Misty Step that let me teleport up to 30 feet! But I only had enough energy in me for two spells now. And to recover it, I needed to rest for an hour. I couldn't afford a one-off spell that would leave me resourceless after I used it.
I made my choice, and Protection from Evil and Good and Invisibility appeared in my spells known list.
Next came the Invocations. Those were like passive effects that I always had. Those sounded very, very useful. So useful, in fact, that I couldn't choose just two.
There was the Cloak of Flies that let me intimidate people better, and also served as a great deterrent against close combat foes.
There was the Agonizing Blast, which sounded like a direct upgrade to my Eldritch Blast. It made my shots more powerful the more charismatic I was. And I was pretty charismatic… in this hallucinatory world, at least.
Then there were all kinds of upgrades to my Eldritch Blast. Like Repelling Blast, Grasp of Hadar, Eldritch Spear. They all sounded cool, but I couldn't just focus on one cantrip. That would be silly.
Then there were Devil's Sight and Eldritch Sight. One let me see in darkness within 120 feet of me, while the other let me see magic within 10.
In the end, I chose Agonizing Blast and Devil’s Sight. I needed the night vision, and if I could upgrade Eldritch Blast’s damage output further, I would.
Lastly, I had to choose my Pact Boon. I could choose between four Pact Boons, and each would open up new Invocations exclusive to them. One of them was outright underwhelming compared to others, so I didn't even consider it an option. The others, however…
Pact of the Blade seemed most fitting to my archetype. I was a Hexblade, after all. It would let me choose any melee weapon, even ones I couldn't use before, and bind it to me. Once bound, I could summon it at will, and dismiss it into a pocket dimension when not needed.
Pact of the Chain seemed like a way to obtain a minion that I could command how I pleased. The thought made my stomach churn and I dismissed the choice outright.
Pact of the Tome, however, offered me versatility. It let me choose 3 cantrips from a much wider range than just my Warlock ones, and I could cast them at will. It also had an Invocation that let me learn any ritual spell I found. Any. That… was tempting. But I wasn't sure how abundant ritual spells were and if I even could acquire them.
In the end, I forwent versatility in favor of a giant sword! It looked cool, it was hecking massive, and I could also channel my Eldritch Blast through it!
I allowed myself this much vanity, because why not? This was all a dream. My dream. Might as well, right?
My choices made, I took a final look at my character sheet.
Taylor Hebert, Warlock 3 (Hexblade)
HP: 29 AC: 15 Speed: 30
Strength: 10
Dexterity: 11+3
Constitution: 12+4
Intelligence: 11+1
Wisdom: 10+2
Charisma: 14+5Proficiencies: deception, investigation, stealth, survival
Cantrips Known: Eldritch Blast, Prestidigitation
Spells Prepared: Armor of Agathys, Hex, Invisibility, Protection from Evil and Good
Invocations Known: Agonizing Blast, Devil’s SightCurrent Adventure: Lost Mines of Phandelver
Rewards on completion: 1 Permanent Warlock Level, 1 Permanent Ability Score Improvement, 1 Permanent Feat, 1 Permanent Skill Proficiency, 1 roll on Magic Item Tables A, B and C, Any magic items acquired over the course of the Adventure
Sildar was awake by the time I checked up on him. He still looked battered, with awful bruises and welts all over his skin. But otherwise, he seemed fine. Just a 50-something year old man, probably an ex military, given his profession. It looked like his leg was broken, or otherwise injured, given the makeshift splint he had on it now.
“Hey.” I called out to him.
“Ah, adventurer!” Sildar jolted and turned bodily to face me. He looked relieved to see me. “Thank you for rescuing me. Thought I was a goner already.” He laughed.
“No problem. You’re Gundren’s bodyguard, right?” He nodded. “Do you know where they took him?”
“I overheard bits and pieces of their conversation, yes.” Sildar nodded. “Somebody or something named Black Spider took him away to Castle Cragmaw. I’ve no clue where that is, however. Apologies.”
“That’s alright. One of the goblins here drew me a map.” I shrugged. “Why was Gundren so important that they took him away, but not you?”
“He and his brothers, Tharden and Nundro, have located an entrance to a long-lost Wave Echo Cave.” His next words were drowned out by the same disembodied voice that followed me since I appeared here.
More than five hundred years ago, clans of dwarves and gnomes made an agreement known as the Phandelver's Pact, by which they would share a rich mine in a wondrous cavern known as Wave Echo Cave. In addition to its mineral wealth, the mine contained great magical power. Human spellcasters allied themselves with the dwarves and gnomes to channel and bind that energy into a great forge (called the Forge of Spells), where magic items could be crafted. Times were good, and the nearby human town of Phandalin prospered as well. But then disaster struck when orcs swept through the North and laid waste to all in their path.
A powerful force of orcs reinforced by evil mercenary wizards attacked Wave Echo Cave to seize its riches and magic treasures. Human wizards fought alongside their dwarf and gnome allies to defend the Forge of Spells, and the ensuing spell battle destroyed much of the cavern. Few survived the cave-ins and tremors, and the location of Wave Echo Cave was lost.
… Evil mercenary wizards. Evil mercenary wizards. I was in a two-bit fantasy show! So, human wizards are good. And wizards aligned with orcs are evil. That reminded me of what Sildar said when Yeemik held him hostage. “I wouldn't trust a goblin’s word.”
“Sildar.” I interrupted the old man’s monologue. He looked at me expectantly. “Would you say that orcs are… evil?”
“Well, yes?” He said with a raised eyebrow.
“All of them?” That made him pause.
“Yes. Why do you ask?”
“And goblins?”
“Very evil.” He nodded.
“And there are no exceptions?”
“None that I am aware of.”
… Oh. Awesome. Okay.
I pinched the bridge of my nose.
“Let’s get this adventure over with.” I sighed. I lost all enthusiasm about this hallucinatory world, and basically went through the motions for the rest of the adventure.
With hard work and a little bit of luck, I defeated the Black Spider and undone his destructive plots; cleared Phandalin of the Redbrand Ruffians who threatened its people, and reclaimed the lost mine of Wave Echo Cave.
I also rescued Nundro and Gundren Rockseekers. The dwarves took administration of the new mine. For the invaluable service I provided them, they promised 10 percent profits from the mines. That was nice and all, but I was already feeling my body growing hazy and translucent..
And then I was thrown out of my locker with the force of a thousand angry men. The locker door groaned in protest and I found myself on the floor, covered in blood and cockroaches.
“What the fuck?” I whimpered as I looked around the empty corridor. Then, I fainted.
My awakening was accompanied with the beeping of a health monitoring machine and the smell of disinfectants. Oh, so it was a hallucination! I had dreamed up that ridiculous racist fantasy world, all in my mind. A spike of fear lanced through me. Was that world a reflection of my subconscious prejudices?
Things seemed to calm down closer to the adventure’s end. I had managed to convince Sildar and the dwarves that not all goblins and orcs are evil. But I doubted that my influence spread further than those three. I had spared as many goblins and orcs I could, and they seemed to shift from mindless murder machines to just… people of a different culture. In my eyes, at least.
Still, I couldn’t believe that I had dreamed up a whole world with a deep lore while trapped in that locker. As I laughed at myself, my eyes fell on a translucent sheet of paper floating in front of my face.
Congratulations on clearing the Lost Mines of Phandelver adventure!
Taylor Hebert is awarded with: 2 Permanent Warlock Levels, 1 Permanent Ability Score Improvement, 1 Permanent Feat, 1 Permanent Skill Proficiency, 1 roll on Magic Item Tables A, B and C, Any magic items acquired over the course of the Adventure.
Oh. Oh, I wasn’t hallucinating. Or I was hallucinating still.