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After locking himself in his room all day, Pony looked up at the celling in his bed, in deep thought. How can he let Willow take his long-time crush, the girl that made life living for.
He hated himself for that, he hated how he let his past catch up with the present. Willow was MEANT to stay in the past, Zizzy had nothing to do with Willow.
"Why didn't she take me instead?", Pony said as he can barely breathe. His voice was heavy from all of the crying. Did Willow have something planned for him?
He was supposed to protect Zizzy and yet, he let her down...
Pony and Zizzy known each other since they were 7 and 8 (Pony was 8, Zizzy was 7), Now they were 19 and 20, living in this apocalypse.
Well only Pony is now, Zizzy is now living it as she slowly turns in the refinery.
Pony finally gets up and walks to her room, laying in her bed inhaling her scent. He cries even harder, knowing that he will might not ever see her again. Pony's stomach turned at that thought. Not ever seeing his crush, his loyal friend...
Seeing her smile, her hair, her confidence, how she was brave and beautiful, and mostly importantly those dirt-colored eyes she has.
Zizzy promised Pony something before they departed, two things at that, to take care of her sisters Zee and Zuzy, and himself.
He didn't know if he can promise himself that last one, he felt so guilty and that it was his fault that she was gone.
He went to her radio and played Jeff Buckley, her favorite artist. And played "Lover, You Should've Came Over", her favorite song by him.
He understood the song now as he relates to what Jeff is saying, Pony could only think about his Zizzy in this moment.
He took a picture of Zizzy and him out of his pocket; it was a picture of them in a photobooth in 2010 where they were 9 and 10, acting silly and carefree of the world before them.
He smiled at the picture as he put it back into his pocket looking around her room. He saw her fencing foil in a case on her wall. He imagined her right behind him, practicing or teaching Zee and Zuzy her skills.
He left her room, hungry as he hasn't eaten anything all day, even when she was here...
He went to the bathroom; there he couldn't bring himself to look into the mirror. Sat on the floor, and looking over at the tub, seeing his razor.
He decided to break open the razor to get the blades out, and he went to cutting himself. He thought he deserved this, the pain he brought himself.
This isn't what Zizzy would've wanted for him.
He had to muffle his screams as it hurts so badly, not wanting to wake anyone from their sleep as for them to ask demanding questions.
He almost went up his whole arm, but he stopped himself as he thought Zizzy was watching him, he didn't want to upset her. Even though she was just infected and not dead.
He threw up in the toilet as the pain was unbearable, he laid there falling asleep.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The next day, Mimi and Giraffy were trying to get into the bathroom, "Ugh whoever is in here better be hurrying up I look plain with my makeup", Mimi said.
"Yeah, same here but I think you look beautiful without it you know", Giraffy stated.
"Maybe Pony's in there, he isn't out here so it must be", Mimi said worried. She knows Pony is grieving Zizzy badly.
"Oh right, we should try knocking asking what's the hold up?"
"Hey, Pony sweetie you okay in there?", Mimi said not getting an answer back.
Pony was knocked out, getting the best sleep he had in a while. He was like being cradled by his dad when he was a baby.
Pony never got cradled by his mother, she died 2 weeks after his birth.
Pony was suddenly woken up by banging on the door, he has to act quickly, there was blood on the floor, his wrists were in plain sight and vomit he didn't flush.
"Um g-give me a sec sorry!", saying as his voice was shaky. He started with the floor then his wrists, good thing he had a hoodie on so he could just wrap the scars and pull down his sleeves. Then he flushed down the nasty vomit he left yesterday.
He walked out to see two concerned faces, "Pony, are you okay, do you want breakfast?".
"I'm okay Mimi, not hungry", he was about to leave until Giraffy broke out the question.
"Is this about Zizzy man?", Giraffy said.
Pony turned back around and said, "What do you think?"
And he left.
Mimi kicked Giraffy softly on the leg, "Ouch, what was that for?"
"I'm sorry? Pony is grieving right now and that's how you respond?" "You can be such a dick sometimes"
"I asked a genuine question, but okay?", Giraffy said.
"Ugh come on I need your help with breakfast since my partner is no longer here."
"Hey Mimi, is Pony going to be okay?", said Zuzy said concerned.
"Hey he will be, he just needs time okay", Mimi said reassuring her.
"Alright, I just miss our tea parties together", said Zuzy with bows in her hair slipping slowly.
Zee and Zuzy was also deeply missing their big sis so much, but Zizzy told them if she was ever gone to always stay strong for her.
Player walking into the room noticing Pony isn't there.
"Hey, where's Pony?", Everyone pointed to his room and as they ate breakfast.
Player walked slowly to his room, not wanting to make noise as if someone was checking up on him, he knew Pony hated that.
Being a burden. Having people worry about him.
He knocked exactly 5 times before entering himself. Not knowing what he would be walking into would be a terrible sight for him.
"Oh god", Player exclaimed.
He saw Pony, hanging around in his bedroom but not on the floor.
Him hanging from a rope tied to a hook in his bedroom.
Player quickly tried to get him down, but it was too late to save him.
Pony was gone.
At least he didn't to need to miss Zizzy anymore.