Chapter Text
“Pop, where’s Ma ?”
The young boy had asked at diner.
“We’ll see her soon, don’t worry,” answered his father.
Three weeks… that’s a long time for a child to go without seeing his mother. The boy tried to be strong, but pretending her absence wasn’t affecting him was quite hard to pull off at such a young age.
His father had assured him countless times that she would come back often, that they would play and have fun just as it was before. However, some promises take time to come to life. Some even never become real, no matter how long you wait. It broke Teruya’s heart to realise this truth.
Kojiro placed a bowl of soup in front of him. It was steaming hot. The green haired boy grabbed a spoon and plunged it into the liquid. He stared at the swirls of water evaporating from his food before shoving it into his mouth.
“Ack-!” he let out a pained cry, his spoon and its content ending up on the table. He swallowed with great difficulty before lunching forward to grab his glass and gulped the cold water in an attempt to cool down his mouth.
Gosh, that hurts !
He couldn’t feel his tongue, as if the soup had numbed all its muscles.
His father chuckled, concerned for his son. “You alright there, buddy ?”
It was painful.
Oh, so painful...
The boy nodded weakly without meeting Kojiro’s eyes.
“Teruya ?”
“It hurts…”
Sniffles and hiccups. Tears were running down his son’s cheeks.
“It hurts and Mama isn’t there...”
Kojiro’s face fell, mouth slightly agape as his mind caught up to what was going on in his son’s brain. He stood up and crouched down by Teruya’s side.
“I want to see Mom…”
Quietly, the man pressed his lips to Teruya’s forehead, kissing him gently.
“I know.”
The young boy’s crying resonated through the kitchen, drowning the next words of his father.
“I miss her too.”
Every so often, these memories came back to him, like a fly you just couldn’t get ride of. It bothered him, it haunted him. Day by day, night by night. It was always here. It lurked in the shadows and showed itself at the most inopportune of times.
Teruya had always considered his childhood to be fun and one to remember, yet there this very moment was one he would rather have forgotten. What happiness was there to find in a memory filled with grief ?
Whenever these haunting thoughts came to intrude his life, his surroundings would black out from his mind, playing that scene again and again as his body acted on autopilot. A bit like watching a cutscene play out in a game in a middle of a fight. It takes you out of the action and forces you to stand there and watch whatever crap a bad game developer decided would make their game interesting.
Why had his mother disappeared and where was she ?
Questions without answers. Or ones he didn’t want to get.
For getting them wouldn’t erase the years of yearning for someone long gone.
When he got back to his senses, he was standing still by a giant screen. In front of him, a dozen faces, staring at him without a word. Next to him, a graph of this month spending ; the budget needed by the Foundation grew everyday. It was his work to manage it.
There was no time for his mind to get lost in its tracks.
He continued talking as if nothing happened, words flowing out of his mouth one after the other without needing to think them. With multiple years of experience under his belt, he had gotten used to the workflow of the Foundation. Weekly check ups of the supplies, boring meetings where he was the only one talking and awkward sleeping schedules... All basic things for him now. He did miss his eight hours of sleep per night, but what could he do, there was just so much to be done. Maybe this was one aspect of working as a merchant that his father had kept hidden from him. For the better or for the worst, he wasn’t sure.
His eyes scanned the room. Most of his subordinates sat there, as if they understood nothing, and stared back without a word. The look of confusion oddly reminded him of himself, that one day. Of the young Teruya, who didn’t understand why his mother had suddenly disappeared from his life.
Ah, sweet innocence.
“Alright,” he declared, closing the folder of papers in his hands “that’s it for today’s meeting. I will send you the recap tomorrow. Thank you everyone for coming.”
The employees stood up from their chairs, exiting the room one after the other in quiet chattering.
Teruya gathered his things, making small talks with the few people he held a connection with. Meetings had always been his least favourite part of working at the Kisaragi Foundation. Standing there for half an hour, saying things only he cared about… it wasn’t the most entertaining thing to do. Had there been someone who shared his passion for economics, it wouldn’t be as bad. But alas it wasn’t the case.
The only person who did had been his father. And his last breathes had already been given.
Teruya let out a yawn. Oh, what he wouldn’t do for a good nap, he thought. Between financial torments and arresting criminals, he had been severely lacking sleep on the daily. How foolish had he been to think managing the financial department of an agency by himself would be as easy as helping his Pop do it. What had made him think he would have plenty of free time ? It was completely foolish.
Making sure he or another employee hadn’t forgotten something in the room, he closed the door shut. It had been one long day and he wasn’t even done. The most important moment had yet to come.
The Foundation’s buildings were almost empty at this hour, most employees having departed already. With its long, grey hallways, it looked more like a hospital but Tsurugi had categorically refused to put in more colours. A shame in Teruya’s eyes, who had considered rainbows for his office. The furthest he had been authorised to go was on his outfit, as long as he wore the proper uniform.
He passed by the break room : if not for a coffee machine and couch, this place would be as empty as the rest. There wasn’t much he could do, but would it kill his colleagues to let a bit of colour in ? Compared to everything he had experienced in his childhood, this place seemed so… Lifeless.
The man started to list out the things he had to do tomorrow in his head. Verify the budget, check out the new arrival of supplies —this he didn’t have to, but preferred doing himself anyway— and… ah.
Teruya closed his eyes with a frustrated groan.
Please, whatever is out there, don’t let Rei and Tsurugi fight today… he pleaded internally. Once started on something, the two could go on for hours. There was no telling how long their quarrels would go on for; sometime ten minutes, others hours on end. Even he had trouble stopping them. Should he be unlucky, he could end up back home in the middle of the night. Dreadful thought. He had always despised driving in the dark.
His office was just by the corner. He couldn’t wait to get this done and finally be finished with his never ending day. His latest project was waiting for a bow and he had just found the perfect one, a big red velve-
“Ootori.”
Unexpectedly, Rei was waiting for him by the door. It was rare for his colleague to come find him at this hour.
“Oh hey, Mekaru ! Good evening,” he greeted her with a wave.
“Good evening. Are you done for the day ?” she asked, handing him a written file. “I was hoping you could double-check this, I just got a call saying someone had messed it up.”
“Ah well, I was going to see my father, but if this can wait for a bit then sure.”
Rei’s eyes widened slightly, before going back to her professional poker face.
“Right, it is today.”
Teruya let out an awkward chuckle.
“Don’t worry, I’ll handle it !” He tucked the papers in his satchel. “I’ll pass by your office by mornin-”
“May I come with you ?” Rei cut him off, her voice taking a more gentle tone. “To see your father.”
The hallway went quiet for a second, Teruya processing her words. It was the last thing he expected her to propose.
“Uh-” He had not seen this one coming.
“Are you sure ? It’s not like it’s fun, you don’t have to.”
This was the first time someone had ever asked to come with him.
It had never occurred to him that someone might want to visit his old man. Should he have asked ? But it was too personal to share with a person who wasn’t close to himself or his father, and he had no idea how to contact those who were... He was so used to going alone, the idea of her presence brought him a bit of anxiety. Because it was his moment. Of peace and quiet. Of remembering past times of joy and fun.
But well, as much as he loved Kojiro, it was never an easy task to face his father by himself. And having his closest friend by his side would help a lot.
“N-not that I don’t want you to come or anything ! But well, you know, graveyards aren’t the liveliest, haha…”
Rei forced a sorry smile at the dark irony of his words.
“Don’t trouble yourself over those things. I… have always preferred quiet places anyway.”
Teruya buckled his seatbelt, a small bouquet of white chrysanthemums in hands. He offered to drive but Rei had refused, claiming it wasn’t the right occasion for him to take the wheel. He knew she was just hoping to avoid his awful driving, and frankly so did he. The day he had gotten his licence was still a mystery to him.
The two sat in silence all throughout. It wasn’t a long ride, about fifteen minutes, but one with heavy implications. It wasn’t everyday that they had the time to share a moment together, even less to visit a cemetery. Teruya looked through the window, his eyes following the trees they passed as the scenery slowly shifted from grey buildings to one of ruins and vegetation. There was no cadavers to be found, but the bodies of fallen houses were still boarding the road, waiting for someone to clean their remains.
The formation of the Kisaragi Foundation had led to a lot of changes, both in Japan and in his personal life. He saw cities get destroyed and rebuilt. He watched families fall apart and others come together. The Biggest, Most Awful, Most Tragic Event in Human History had been chaos for everyone. Not a single life was spared. To Teruya, who had been locked away and did not witness the shift into violence and hatred, seeing how the world was destroying itself had been a shock. One similar to being struck by lightning. Any hope he held to get back to his past life had since shattered to pieces.
The car came to a halt as Rei parked it on the side of the road. Their surroundings were mostly plain, if for a few abandoned buildings that had somehow survived the pandemonium. Teruya stepped out of the vehicule, flowers in hand. He was always overcome with a sense of apprehension coming here. The last years of his life had been filled with death and yet, he couldn’t get over the shiver going through his body at the sigh of cemeteries. Another reminder of the death he might have caused, by proxy or not.
Rei took a moment to look around. Nothing had changed since the day she first came here. Not the trees covered in moss, not the infestation of weed nor the heavy breathing of her colleague gripping onto the small bouquet. The man passed the rusty gate, walking slowly and carefully between the rows of graved stones. Silence elevated the aura of hesitation and fear coming from him, as if ready to run away for dear life.
Rei stood next to him in silence.
It had been two years. Two years since he had lost the remaining part of his childhood. A piece ripped away from him so suddenly, so harshly. A day forever engraved in his memory.
Teruya knelt down, wiping away the dead petals remaining from his last visit. His eyes shifted towards the name set in stone. The one of his father, Kojiro Ootori. A man who had been by his side all his life. Except for when he needed him most. The only person to have a smile on his face at all time. Even during his last moments.
He placed the chrysanthemums down and brought his hands together.
It wasn’t a prayer, not directly. It was more akin to a wish. The hope that one day, once they reunite, everything would finally be alright.
“Dad.”
His voice cracked under his words, hesitant.
“It’s… been a while.”
Teruya stared at the familiar name as he held his breath.
“I guess… I don’t have much to say anymore.”
What was there to say that hadn’t been brought up already ? The man he looked up to the most, who seemed to always walk down the right path, had done something terrible. Teruya had to live with it. It did not erase the joy he felt, but left a bitter sweet aftertaste. All he could hope for now, was to avoid repeating those mistakes.
He pressed his forehead to the cold stone with a sad smile.
“Thank you. For everything you did for me.”
At last, he bid his father goodbye and left the cemetery.
“Alright, Mekaru we can go-”
Teruya expected to see the woman waiting for him in the shade of a tree nearby.
Instead, Rei was leaned back against the car, her grasp tight on her phone and teeth sank deeply into her lower lip.
“Erm, Mekaru ?”
“Let’s go eat,” she answered simply, ignoring her clear intent to throw her belongings far, far away.
The two colleagues arrived in front of a Café —its sign, written in bold, golden katakana harboured the name Lucky Charm— most member of the Kisaragi Foundation liked to go there after work.
The food was acceptable and not too pricy but most importantly, it was just by the corner and closed late in the night.
Rei pushed the door to the Café and they went in. As always, the place had a distinctive fragrance of freshly ground coffee beans mixed with a pinch of mint. A few other colleagues were grouped around a table and greeted them as they passed.
Like any other times, they sat in the back, where they could converse without attracting too much attention on themselves. The hazards of being public figures, as Rei called it.
Teruya slumped back into the soft seat.
“So, what was up with your reaction back at the cemetery ? Got some bad news ?”
“I’d rather not talk about it.”
Teruya knew her enough to know that she did, in fact, want to talk about it. Luckily for him, their drinks and meals came before she had the time to start criticising a certain someone again.
“Hm.” Teruya watched strangers come in and out of the Café.
Ahh… Of course it had to end like this.
Where the sky had been blue when they entered the building, it was now dark out, the street illuminated by the warm light of light poles.
Rei struck her chopsticks down on the table for the umpteenth time, clinking as wood met wood.
“No one on the team has the time to train a newbie !” She downed the rest of her drink, cheeks gently flushed from the alcohol.
“Which is why he shouldn’t be transferred to the Information’s department. That man isn’t rigorous enough and never listens to orders !”
“I get you doubt his choice, but Kinjo knows what he’s doing. Try to trust him for once.” Teruya was desperately trying to convince Rei to let go of another argument with Tsurugi. It didn’t seem to work well. Unfortunately for him, today wasn’t the day his friends would start getting along…
“It is just like you to blindly listen to him.” Rei stood up from her seat, putting on her vest with a groan. “I refuse to let that cop destroy my department with his so called thought out plan. The guy doesn’t know a thing about information gathering !”
Her colleague let out a chuckle as he buckled up his jacket. Teruya had no wish to get himself into one of his friends numerous messes.
They walked up to the counter to pay for their drinks, Rei grumbling insults under her breath.
“Come on, see the bright side ! You won’t be under numbered anymore ! It cannot be that bad.”
The ginger shot him a glare.
“It is always bad when he gets involved with shits he doesn’t understand,” she retorted. “But you wouldn’t get this, since he doesn’t care about your department.”
Touché.
Teruya opened his wallet to pay the bartender, his battle of wits against Rei lost once again.
Hm ?
He stopped himself. Someone behind him was pulling on his coat.
“Excuse me…”
Shock.
This voice, why did it sound so familiar ? He had definitely heard it before. However the only people he knew around here were the members of the Foundation. Sure, he didn’t know everyone, but they were all aware of who he was and always referred to him by name.
Someone he had met before coming to Hope’s Peak, perhaps ?
“Ah, can I help you ?”
He turned around, searching for a face he might recognise.
A woman in her early fifties faced him, hazel eyes scanning his features.
His heart jumped in his chest.
Teruya knew who she was, there was no mistaking her for someone else. The curly hair, the way she stood perfectly upright, hands clasped together… It was so like her.
The exact reason why he couldn’t bring himself to look at the woman directly.
“Teruya ?”
He kept glaring at the wall.
“Teruya, is that you ?” The woman asked again, her movements mimicking his as she searched for his eyes.
“Mom what- what are you doing here…”
Mom… how long had it been since he used this word ? Five, ten years, maybe ? There had been a time when he didn’t have to think about what it meant but now… it was like he had never used it at all.
The woman stood there for a second, mouth slightly agape, before smiling with restrained glee.
Miori Shõji. Teruya did not share her name, but their resemblance was unmistakable : he had her eyes. She seemed stuck in trance, mesmerised by the sight of her son.
“I-I didn’t know you lived around here,” Teruya said quietly. In all honesty, he did not want to speak to her, but it was also really awkward to have his own mother just… staring at him without a word.
“Oh no no, I am on a business trip,” Miori answered with a chuckle. “Sorry, I must have frightened you by appearing suddenly like this.”
“No, it’s okay.” It wasn’t. He shifted around, rubbing his calf with his shoe nervously.
The woman let out a sigh as she took his hand between her fingers, rubbing it tenderly.
“Meeting you after all this time…” She examined the now slender fingers of her son. “It must be a blessing.”
For whom, though ?
“Tell me, how are you doing ? I heard quite the rumours concerning you after the incident.”
A shiver sparked through his body, suddenly much too aware of his surroundings. There was only one incident he could think of, and it was always a subject he preferred to avoid. So for her to reference it ?
“I’m… fine. We make do.”
“I have been looking for you, you know. After discovering what happened at your school...”
Oh really ?
She took her time to find him, that’s for sure.
“I hope I’ll get the chance to meet your friends,” Miori continued, turning her head to send a gentle smile at Rei. The latter nodded politely.
“What’s the point ?”
His colleague let out an audible what of surprise but Teruya ignored it.
“What’s the point in talking about myself when you didn’t care for so long ?”
His words, while quiet, threw a cold over the trio. He regretted them for a split second, until he saw the expression on her face. Guilt. And regret. She knew what she had done.
“Teruya, I know I wasn’t the most present when you needed me and that I can’t make up for the lost time-” Miori stopped herself in her tracks, closing her hands tighter around his.
Strange way to say you were completely absent.
“Stop it. You don’t have to dig deeper than you already have.”
Teruya gritted his teeth, smacking Miori’s hands away.
“Teru…”
Stop acting as if you cared. You never did.
“You should have come find me sooner. You should have been searching for me all this time..!”
“I was !”
“Then where were you ?! If you’re so convinced that you were, how did it take today for you to find me ?!”
The Café went completely silent. Teruya hadn’t realised how loud he had gotten, but it was too late now.
His breathing was heavy and he could feel his blood boiling inside. He wanted to say more. So much more. But he couldn’t. People were watching them with wide eyes, like a bad soap opera. Even Rei seemed out of the loop, frozen by his side.
The words threatening to burst out of his throat weren’t pretty.
Miori herself was stunned; her typical half smile had vanished.
Teruya turned around promptly and left, putting a clear end to the conversation.