Chapter Text
It started with an argument three months into their 4 year trip to Erid. Grace had slept badly, plagued by nightmares, and Rocky had tried to cheer him up by listing all the great things Rocky was going to do for him once they reached Erid. Rocky was going to build him a home to live in. Rocky was going to introduce him to all the greatest scientists. Rocky was going to build him a statue. And with the taste of grass still in his mouth, Grace had had…a little bit of a meltdown.
“You can’t do any of that for me,” he snapped. “I don’t deserve it.”
“Grace save Erid. Grace save Rocky,” Rocky pointed out.
“Anyone would have done that! I was just in the right place at the right time. Wrong place. I don’t know. I was the only person there. It wasn’t a choice, I did it because it was obviously what needed to happen.”
“Grace did make choice. Grace made many choice. Grace made choice to reach out to Rocky in first place, communicate with scary alien. Grace made choice to trust. Grace made choice to go back for Rocky and save all Erid instead of go home. Grace smart. Grace brave. Grace good friend. Rocky show Grace appreciation. Grace let Rocky show appreciation, command.”
“But I’m not, Rocky! I'm not smart or brave or good or anything! I'm not worthy of any of this.”
Rocky was silent for a moment, then rotated his body so a different side was facing Grace.
“Even if true, Rocky still like. Rocky not care if Grace not smart. Rocky not care if Grace not brave. Rocky like Grace because Grace cute.”
“Cute?” Grace repeated, half strangled. “I'm not cute!”
“You no get to decide. Rocky decide you cute. Like companion animal. Not need be perfect. Not need be hero. Is enough be cute.”
“Are you calling me your pet?” Grace asked. “That is so, so, condescending–”
“Yes. Grace is like Rocky pet. Everything Grace does is cute cute cute. Grace not need prove anything. Grace not need be worthy. Grace just need keep being cute. Rocky take care of Grace. Rocky responsible pet owner.”
Grace’s throat was suddenly dry.
“You can’t be serious, Rocky.”
“Grace stupid. Rocky smarter. Grace is perfect pet. Cute and soft. Does many tricks. Adrian will be so happy when Rocky bring back cute cute pet. Will build special nest for Grace in Rocky Adrian house, right next to Rocky Adrian nest. Rocky take care of Grace. Spoil Grace. Give Grace everything Grace wants. Grace not have to do anything to earn, just sit and be cute.”
Grace opened his mouth, but words evaded him. This was ridiculous. Insulting. He was a grown adult, a doctor even. He wasn't some stray dog to bring home and pamper. He should be insulted on behalf of his species, really. He should be irritated. He should tell Rocky to stop.
Why did it sound so good right now? Why was that so attractive, the idea of being nothing more than a cute creature who gets spoiled by its owner?
There was a strange floaty feeling in his brain. His mouth opened and closed. “Rocky,” he began, and then stopped when he heard how breathy it sounded. He swallowed, hard.
“Grace want to be Rocky pet,” Rocky said smugly. “Grace want to be precious thing Rocky take care of, statement.”
“I don't…” Grace stammered. “I…you can't just…why are you saying this stuff?”
Rocky hunkered down a little in a way that Grace interpreted as leveling with him. “Grace think think think too much. Grace worry for nothing. Grace save two planets and still think not good enough. Rocky think Grace never ever feel good enough. Want Grace relax. Want Grace let Rocky love and not worry worry worry whether Grace deserve it. Like pet. Pet not worry whether it good enough. Pet always loved. Pet loved when useless, when stupid, when naughty. Simple. Same way Rocky love Grace.”
“You love me?” Grace asked, his voice about an octave higher than before.
“Grace must be stupid stupid stupid. Rocky love Grace, statement. …Grace not love Rocky, question?” Rocky took a step backwards and made himself smaller.
“Of course I do,” Grace protested, before he even knew what he was saying. “I lo-” The weight of it slammed into him like a truck, and he choked on his words for a moment. It was only Rocky’s despondent body language that could wring the words out of him. “Grace loves Rocky, statement.”
“Good good good. Then no issue. Grace will be Rocky pet. Rocky take care of Grace. Both love.” Rocky said, seeming satisfied. “What movie you want watch now?”
There was a small part of Grace’s mind that was screeching that this conversation wasn’t over, that Grace needed to assert his full personhood until Rocky understood how weird and wrong this was. That part was being drowned out by a haze of oxytocin.
“Have I shown you Terminator?” Grace asked instead.
Grace had almost forgotten about their weird conversation by the time he went to bed. Until Rocky said, “Go sleep on time? Grace being very good pet today.”
He flushed scarlet. “Rock-y” He said, in more of a whine than he would have liked.
“Ooo, Grace like being good pet. Heart go thump thump thump! Like dog wagging tail. Happy happy happy.”
If I fall asleep quickly, Grace thought, I don’t have to think of something to say in response to that. He closed his eyes with determination.
“Grace so cute. Cute cute pet. Rocky wish could pet Grace. Rocky working on it.”
His eyes flew open. “Work–what do you mean, working on it?” He asked, pushing himself up on his elbows in bed.
Rocky chittered happily from his bubble next to the bed. “Rocky building xenonite suit to replace xenonite bubble. Rocky will touch things! Rocky will use human technology. Rocky will help pilot ship. Rocky will pet Grace. Many important uses.”
“Okay, when you say pet, what does that mean, exactly?” Grace asked.
Rocky mimed slowly stroking his hand down something’s back, like you would with a cat. Grace wasn’t sure what he had expected. He tried to imagine Rocky’s hand stroking down his back and was hit by an overwhelming, crippling feeling of touch starvation. When was the last time someone had touched him like that? Gentle, friendly touch? He didn’t even know. Now that he was thinking about it, his body ached for it in a way that was almost physically painful.
“What Grace thinking?” Rocky prompted.
“Grace thinking he would like that a lot,” Grace choked out against his better judgement, and then turned over and hid his face in the pillow.
The comments were easier to get used to than he anticipated. Something about being flooded with positive endorphins kept him from voicing thoughts like “this is insane”. But after a few days of Rocky cooing praise at him every time he followed directions, a thought occurred.
“Rocky,” he said hesitantly. “When we get to Erid, you're not going to introduce me as your pet, right?”
“No no no.” Rocky says. “Rocky introduce as savior of all Erid, brilliant scientist. Rocky make sure other Eridians respect Grace intelligence. Grace pet only when Rocky Grace alone.”
That was…well, it was a relief, but it also made him nervous. If this was something they were only doing when they were alone, something private, was it…taboo? Wrong? Even worse, was it private in the same way that mating was private?
“Grace think think thinking again,” Rocky said disapprovingly. “Why Grace seem so worried?”
“Just, uh…when humans do things that are private like that, it's usually, uh, sexual in nature.”
“Why humans think everything is sex, question?” Rocky grumbled. “Humans obsessed with sex. You not even want sex and still think about sex too much. Rocky not want sex with pet. Gross gross gross. Humans have sex with pet question?”
“No! Well–er, not real pets, but there are people who pretend to be pets for sex reasons.”
“Weird,” Rocky deadpanned. “But Rocky not pretend Grace pet. Grace really pet. Rocky hide so other Eridians respect but Grace Rocky know Grace pet.”
“What does that mean, though?” Grace asked. “Like, what does that actually look like?”
Rocky shifted his stance in a way that Grace recognized as the are you stupid expression. “Looks like now. Rocky praise when good. Take care of. When suit finished Rocky pet. Grace brain trying to make complicated. No is complicated. Grace need taken care of. Grace deserve taken care of. Grace cute cute cute when happy. Rocky not do anything Grace say make uncomfortable.”
Just say it makes you uncomfortable and he'll stop, the little voice in his head said.
I don't want him to stop, he responded. That thought took a moment to fully process. Oh my god, I don't want him to stop. I'm really, actually enjoying this. I'm enjoying being an alien’s pet. I must be out of my flipping mind.
“Grace making thinking face again.” Rocky said unhappily. “Grace think think think worry worry worry until Grace make self upset. Stop thinking, command.”
Command. He felt blood rush to his face, and suddenly it did feel much harder to think. “What should I do instead?” He asked.
“Grace do math in brain until Rocky say stop.”
Feeling ridiculous, Grace started doing long division in his head. Rocky waited for a few minutes, idly tapping at the xenonite barrier, until he had apparently determined that Grace had cleared his brain of any freak-outs.
“Math stop now. Grace explain science machines to Rocky so Rocky can use when make suit.” Rocky rolled his ball off into the laboratory, and Grace followed dazedly behind him.