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Izuku was tired. No, tired was too weak of a word for the amount of sheer exhaustion he felt. He didn’t just feel it in his joints and under eyes and head and the tips of his fingers. He felt it deep in his bones, his chest, his lungs. As if his body simply couldn’t run anymore. He had been running on adrenaline for probably the last four and a half days. He hadn’t slept in nine (save collapsing in Kacchan’s arms). His body had been in so much stress and constant overstimulation that he couldn’t feel the pure, unbridled, exhaustion he currently faced. Standing in the UA dorms, right in the centre of his worried classmates, his legs barely held him up.
“Deku, do you need someone to walk you to your room?” Uraraka asked. Her pink cheeks bright as ever despite her worry. She stepped toward him a bit, as if she was ready to catch him if he fell.
Help? Is that what he needed? Help wasn’t something heroes got. It was something they gave. He was enough of a burden here without needing to be babysat by class 1A. Everyone was so desperate to ‘help’ him. They practically had to pry his mom off him, All Might only let him be with a promise that he would get some sleep, even Aizawa had a hard time letting him go to his dorms. Despite everyone trying to help, Izuku pushed them all away. Of course he wanted help, of course he wanted to be held and wrapped in blankets and finally feel safe enough to fall asleep. Of course he wanted someone staying with him all night, not even talking but just there. Of course he missed the presence of someone who made him feel less alone.
But he couldn’t.
He wasn’t worth it. He was putting everyone in danger by being here. Half the people here barely let him in and the other half are so worried about him they won’t let him out of their sight. He couldn’t be more alone, and it was a burden he had to carry. Wasn’t he supposed to be a hero, after all?
“Sorry guys, I just want some alone time if that’s alright. I understand you’re all worried but I’ll be okay by myself!” Deku assured everyone. Uraraka frowned, she knew that wasn’t true, but as his friend she wouldn’t push. Some things he needed to do alone. Like shower, which he desperately needed right now.
“Okay Deku, let us know if you need anything!” She told him sweetly.
“Make sure to get lots of rest Midoriya!” Iida demanded.
“I think Bakugou’s making some food, so someone can come drop that off when it’s ready if you want,” Kirishima said, smiling.
Izuku hadn’t eaten in days so it would probably be wise to eat before he slept for the foreseeable future.
“Sure, thanks,” Deku said as he turned towards the stairs. Through Herculean effort, he dragged himself to his room. It was still as pristine as the day he left, before everything with Shigaraki happened.
Memories flashed before Izuku’s eyes.
Endeavor being hurt. Aizawa’s eye being ripped apart, his leg being cut off. Lady Nagant’s death. Kacchan, twitching and bloodied as his impaled body stops midair. Izuku shuddered. His vision went blurry as his knees buckled and he hit the cold wood floor of his room.
He woke up who knows how much later to knocking on his door.
“Hey nerd! Made you some pork cutlets! Open the door. Deku, I’m not afraid to blow your door up and shove this food down your throat!” More banging. No question who was at his door. Izuku all but crawled to his door, hardly managing to hoist himself up and swing his door open. He was met with Bakugou Katsuki, holding a hot plate of delicious looking food and a tall glass of water. He was wearing a black t-shirt and grey sweats. His hair was unusually fluffy in just the way it is after it dries from a shower.
“Finally,” Bakugo huffed, “here’s your damn foo-“ he paused. Izuku noticed his eyes darting over his broken body, assessing his raggedy clothes, his eyeballs, his shaky stance.
“Have you not showered yet?” He asked finally, cautiously. His voice was slightly softer though had the twinge of eww you smell bad that Kacchan would usually lead with.
Izuku numbly shook his head, he wanted to curl up and go to sleep. But his clothes were rubbing against him the wrong way, and the feel of grime on his skin was picking at him, and his stomach hurt so much he knew he wouldn’t be able to adequately rest. God, he’s such an idiot for ignoring his body so long, he feels so weak.
“Can I come in?” Kacchan softly asked, completely shifting his tone now. He couldn’t come in. Deku needed to handle this alone. He couldn’t. Everyone needed him. How was he supposed to be strong if he couldn’t even go to sleep himself? He needed to defeat All For One and fast. He owed it to everyone here. Despite wanting to protest, Deku just stared at Bakugo.
“I know you, Izuku, you’re going to push everyone away. Like you always do. Cause you don’t need anyone’s help right? But you don’t gotta do that with me. Just let me help, it’s just me. I’ll get you to bed, I promise,” Kacchan looked at him, silently pleading that Deku would let him help.
He didn’t know if he wanted to or not, but Izuku’s body automatically moved out of the way. He was too tired to resist anyway. If Kacchan can help him sleep, Izuku physically couldn’t turn him away any more. He needed that relief so badly. His body was aching for it in every fibre of his being. He just needed rest.
“Okay, I’m gonna run a bath, you sit at your desk and eat this, alright?” Kacchan said, handing Izuku water and the pork cutlets he had made. They smelled good. Perfectly cooked and seasoned, in just the way Kacchan could make. It also smelled exactly like his mom’s recipe. Like home.
Yet, despite the drool pooling in his mouth and the rumble in his core, he didn’t eat. He just dumbly stood there, trying to will his arms to move. But, he had nothing left. He couldn’t do it. He faintly was aware of water rushing into a bathtub in the bathroom and the sound of Bakugou’s socks against his wooden floors.
“Izuku? You gonna eat that?” He asked, shaking Izuku’s shoulder. Izuku slowly turned to face him, helplessly. Kacchan wrapped an arm around Izuku’s shoulders and gently guided him to his desk. Silently, Izuku sat down. Kacchan picked up the chopsticks and grabbed a piece of pork.
“Just open your mouth and chew, alright? That’s all you gotta do, then we’ll get you in a bath,” Kacchan explained, practically whispering. Izuku assumed he’d feel pathetic if he could feel anything, but all he felt was exhausted as he opened his mouth. Something about Kacchan was familiar enough to bring him home for just a moment, and he was able to be vulnerable.
Katsuki almost started praising him as he began to chew, saying some dumb shit like “good job, good, good,” before he stopped himself. He bit his tongue and stayed silent, he knew that was what Izuku was needing. Would praise help? Did Izuku need to know he was doing enough? Knowing him, yeah probably. But Katsuki still wasn’t gonna say anything too crazy, despite the crazy part of him that wanted to.
“That’s good, just focus on this. That’s enough, you’re doing plenty,” Katsuki assured. Izuku relaxed a bit as he took another couple bites. The food, of course, was incredible. It tasted like home. But it also tasted like the mud he made All Might slip on as he rejected help. It tasted like how every attempt to save the people around him only ended in them hurting him more. It tasted like Katsuki trying not to let his hands shake as he carefully guided the food into Izuku’s mouth. He was pathetic. He was nauseous.
“Izuku, just focus. Breathe and chew, just focus on that,” Kacchan whispered. Breathe and chew. Breathe and chew. Breathe and…
Soon the whole thing was finished. Izuku’s stomach no longer ached and his body felt a bit less broken. Kacchan offered him water, guiding the cup to Izuku’s hands and bringing them to his lips. Izuku drank the whole glass in one gulp, panting as he set it down. Katsuki didn’t comment on it. He hoisted Izuku up to his feet and helped him walk to the bath, which was now half full.
Izuku sat on the closed toilet seat. Katsuki gently disrobed Izuku, starting with his mask and gloves. His costume ended up in a pile next to the door of the bathroom. Katsuki looked up into Izuku’s eyes as he grabbed the hem of his shirt. They both knew Izuku was too exhausted to bathe himself, but Katsuki still didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Izuku closed his eyes and slightly nodded, giving Kacchan consent. Katsuki swiftly slid his shirt off, and was met with the sight of Deku’s mangled torso.
He had scratches and bruises all across his stomach and chest. His ribs were protruding from his chest like a skeleton and the sunken skin was just bone. His once defined abs were concave and consumed by his ribs. He looked deathly. There was one huge gash on his side, one that was half-hazardly stitched by Hawks, who insisted Deku at least get first aid before he kept fighting.
Deku looked up at Kacchan, wondering if he was a monster. Before Kacchan silently pulled the first aid kit from Izuku’s cabinet and started cutting off the stitches. The wound had mostly healed but it still needed to be clean. Kacchan disinfected the wound with an alcohol pad and thoroughly cleaned it before placing a fresh bandage on it. He continued this with every serious scratch on Izuku’s body. Finally, he undid Izuku’s pants and slid them off his frame.
“Alright, I’m going to step out. Piss and get in the bath, I'm gonna call ya before I come back in,” Kacchan told him, turning off the bath and grabbing Izuku’s costume to put in his laundry hamper. He half closed the door as he went outside and waited. Izuku stripped off his boxers and relieved himself. He was glad Kacchan at least let him keep a bit of dignity as he let himself sink into the warm bath. His muscles thanked him as they released countless amounts of tension. The hot water sunk into Izuku’s bones and he let out a soft moan at the feeling.
“I’m gonna come back in now, is that okay?” Kacchan asked from outside the door. Izuku let out a weak “mhm” as he rested his head against the back of the bath. He let out a sigh. Katsuki threw his boxers out before closing the bathroom door. He set down a new pair of clothes on the counter next to the seat, shorts, an oversized All Might t-shirt (limited edition, two sizes too big because it was the only size they had left), and new boxers. He sat on the bathroom floor, leaning against the wall on the side of the bath.
Silently, Kacchan grabbed a loofa and lathered it up with body soap. He scrubbed every layer of grime off Izuku’s skin. Izuku was basically asleep, only half conscious of what was going on. The slight contact was enough to keep Izuku conscious and he felt himself anticipating it. Kacchan spent extra time on Izuku’s arms and back where he had the most grime and bruises, making sure to be extra careful. Izuku sighed into the contact, his sore muscles finally gaining some feeling back.
As Kacchan continued to scrub, he used his left hand to work out some of the worst knots on Izuku’s shoulder and back. The warm water and Kacchan’s hot hands was absolute heaven on his back. He couldn’t help but sigh and moan into the impromptu massage. He hadn’t felt human touch in months, he forgot how good it was.
He leaned back into Kacchan’s calloused hands, sighing into the touch. Kacchan moved down to his legs and thoroughly washed them as well. By the time he was done, the bath was murky with soap. Izuku was curled up with his hands around his knees near the center of the tub. Katsuki gently grabbed his shoulders, looking into Izuku’s eyes as he gently sunk his head into the water and back up. Izuku stayed curled up as Kacchan began to work soap through his hair.
Kacchan’s warm hands against his scalp was amazing. He would occasionally scratch or rub Izuku’s scalp just right. Izuku had such a sensitive scalp, but Kacchan made sure to be incredibly, almost impossibly, gentle. He occasionally twirled a finger through Izuku’s wet curls. As he worked soap into his scalp, Izuku’s eyes started to drift closed.
He felt himself being lowered back into the water, with only his face not submerged. Warm hands returned to his scalp and washed the soap out. Kacchan repeated the same process with conditioner, still being gentle, with a patience Izuku had never seen from him before.
By the time he was completely clean, the room was steamed up, the water was luke warm, the smell of pine scented soap lingered and Kacchan’s shirt was soaked. Kacchan reached a small towel over the edge of the bath and dried Izuku’s hair off. Izuku was on cloud nine, completely pliant in Kacchan’s hands.
“Okay, you ready to get out now?” Kacchan asked softly, throwing the towel into a basket in the bathroom.
“Mmmh,” Izuku responded, still a bit blissed out. Katsuki put his arms under Izuku’s arms and picked him up. He was so, incredibly light that Katsuki had to bite his tongue so he wouldn’t start screaming in anger. He sets Izuku on the closed toilet seat, on top of a towel. Averting his eyes, Katsuki kneels at Izuku’s feet and begins drying off his legs. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen Izuku naked before, due to shared showers during training, but he didn’t want to make Izuku feel even more vulnerable.
On the other hand, Izuku looked down at Kacchan between his legs, trying to stop himself from getting hard. He could imagine Kacchan leaning forward, his mouth on Izuku’s thighs. Izuku’s scarred hand in his soft hair, another hand clapped over his mouth trying to silence his moans as—
“Izuku, you okay?” Katsuki asked, looking up at him. Izuku felt blood rush to his face, nodding. “You just started getting kind of tense.”
“‘M good,” Izuku murmured, being shaken out of his thoughts. But damn if Kacchan looking up at him with his red, worried eyes didn’t do something to him—
No. He’s just tired. He didn’t know why he was thinking like that. Probably because he hadn’t been this close to someone since…ever and his body was just reacting to it.
Katsuki shrugged and continued to dry him off, eventually finishing his legs and moving up to his arms and chest. Once Izuku was all dried off, he started to help him put on his shirt, boxers and shorts. The shirt, which was originally a bit oversized on Izuku but still slightly filled out by his muscular frame now swallowed the boy whole.
We gotta get him on a nutrition plan, he has to be malnourished, Katsuki thought to himself.
“Alright, just gotta brush your teeth then you can sleep,” Kacchan told Izuku. Who nodded and tried to pull himself up, immediately stumbling. Kacchan set him back on the toilet, “just stay here, I’ll handle it.”
A warm feeling in Izuku’s chest started to grow. It was a sort of thankfulness for having someone who knew him so well. Someone who would know he didn’t want to be alone and who would help him do even the most trivial things because they understood he was so exhausted he would’ve gone to sleep in his dirty clothes and gotten zero rest if he were by himself. Despite the initial urge to feel vulnerable and helpless, Izuku was able to let Kacchan help him. He knew better than anyone that if Kacchan didn’t want to do something or felt obligated to, he wouldn’t do it. Kacchan would only do things he wanted to do, despite how much of a problem that usually created, it was so specific to Kacchan that it reassured Izuku he could accept his help.
After Kacchan brushed Izuku’s teeth, tenderly holding his chin and instructing him to open his mouth, he walked Izuku to bed. He tucked the smaller boy under his All Might covers and tucked him in. He then went to the bathroom to clean up. As Katsuki grabbed the dirty towels and put them into the basket in the bathroom, he heard a small voice from the main bedroom.
“Kacchan?” Izuku’s voice rang out.
Kacchan came back into the main room, and was met with scared, green eyes. He knew Izuku would need someone to stay with him while he slept in order to feel safe enough.
“Don’t worry, I was just cleaning up the bathroom,” Kacchan reassured him, “I’ll stay while you sleep.”
He sat down at Izuku’s desk. Izuku looked up at him with tired eyes. No, not tired. Exasperated.
“Kacchan,” Izuku said firmly, lifting his covers up with the last of his strength. Kacchan wordlessly climbed into bed with him, despite the bed being far too small for two people. Izuku let out a breath and the rest of the tension he was holding in, he scooted closer to Kacchan. He was still pressed against the wall, but his head was close to Kacchan’s shoulder, though not touching.
Izuku was so exhausted, he let himself drift off.
…
About three hours later he shot up, his danger sense spiking. He automatically activated Black Whip and got ready to attack. Where was he? UA? His dorm? Then where was the danger coming fr-
“‘Zuku?” Kacchan asked groggily, sitting up from beside Izuku. Izuku looked horrified, he had a slight shake in his hands and he was rocking himself back and forth.
“Hey, you’re alright. Nothing’s here,” despite him ignoring his impulses to be brash and impatient with Izuku, he still wasn’t the best at verbal comfort. Izuku looked over at him, sighing. He put Black Whip away and moved closer to Kacchan, clearly asking to be held.
Was it okay for him to hold Izuku? After everything he had done? This wasn’t the time for him to think about that, he just had to be there for him. He scooped Izuku into his arms, holding the wild head of green curls next to the crook of his neck. He laid them both down so they were laying on their sides and Izuku was enveloped in his arms. Katsuki put one hand on Izuku’s hair and the other rubbed his back.
Izuku was desperately gripping Katsuki like a lifeline, willing himself to feel safe, to be able to finally rest.
“Shh, you’re all right, everything's okay, Izuku,” Kacchan whispered to him. Izuku focused on the feeling of arms holding him, of being small and safe and protected and okay. He focused on the sound of Kacchan’s soft breathing and the thrum of his uneven heartbeat (due to the stress of his quirk). He focused on the smell of smoke Kacchan insisted on wearing that couldn’t quite mask his natural warm, caramel smell from nitroglycerin. He focused on the vibrations in Kacchan’s chest as he talked.
Eventually, with the feeling of hands in his hair, scratching against his scalp, he fell asleep.
…
In the late hours of the morning, Aizawa knocked on Izuku’s door. It had been around 16 hours since he was sent up here to sleep, so he should be waking up soon. Hearing no response, Aizawa gently opened the door.
Of all of the things he expected to see, Midoriya curled up on Bakugou’s chest, completely snuggled up to the boy's neck was NOT one of them. Lucky for Aizawa that Bakugou wasn’t up, because his life would probably be in danger. With a knowing smile, he closed the door and let the two sleep.