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Peridot had always loved Camp Pining Hearts.
At first, it had been almost a scientific obsession. She had rewatched that one episode at least a hundred times in a row, analyzing the interactions between the characters like data to be catalogued. Then Steven had told her it wasn’t just a single isolated episode. There were more episodes. Entire seasons.
Peridot had gone completely silent for several seconds after finding out.
“What do you mean entire seasons?”
From that moment on, the show had become something else entirely. A ritual of sorts. A safe zone in the middle of all the chaos that had followed her arrival on Earth.
She still remembered one of the first conversations she’d had with Steven after moving into the barn with Lapis.
“Steven,” she had asked, trying to sound casual while tinkering with the remains of a toaster, “is there an Earth method that would allow the continued viewing of Camp Pining Heart within this agricultural residence?”
Steven had needed a moment to process that.
“Oh! You want a TV?”
Peridot had nodded far too quickly to seem indifferent.
Steven had genuinely put effort into it. He’d dragged an old television that used to belong to Greg all the way to the barn with Garnet’s help — huge, heavy, and probably older than half of humanity — then connected it to the power grid using a setup he described as “mostly safe,” even though Peridot had counted at least four potential fire hazards.
And then he had given her his old VHS copies of the first seasons.
Peridot hadn’t immediately known how to react.
Humans gave things away constantly, but this felt different. Steven was trusting her with something that held emotional value to him. Something he loved.
She had stared at the tapes for a few seconds too long before clutching them tightly against her chest.
“That action is… very kind of you, Steven.”
He had smiled like it was the most normal thing in the world.
After that, Peridot had started watching Camp Pining Heart more and more often. At first out of curiosity. Then out of habit. Then because the silence of the barn felt less heavy when the voices of the characters filled the room.
She liked how the episodes always followed a precise structure. The exaggerated drama. The long stares. The confessions interrupted at the last second. It was predictable in a comforting sort of way.
And most of all, relationships seemed simple in there.
People argued, hurt each other, stopped speaking for a while… but in the end they always found a way to sit together by the camp lake and explain what they were really feeling.
Real life was far more complicated.
Especially since she lived with Lapis.Peridot had ended up infecting Lapis Lazuli with it too.
Not intentionally, at least.
At first, Peridot watched Camp Pining Hearts almost nonstop mostly because it gave her an excuse to talk to Lapis as little as possible.
Things between them had gotten better, sure. More or less.
They didn’t argue constantly anymore. The barn was still standing. That alone was already huge progress.
But the tension hadn’t really disappeared.
Peridot was always scared of saying the wrong thing. And it happened often. Even when she didn’t mean to upset Lapis, she somehow still managed to irritate her, and every single time Peridot would spend hours replaying the conversation in her head without understanding where she had gone wrong.
So watching Camp Pining Heart became easy. Simple. Safe.
That night, the old television barely lit the barn with a faint bluish glow.
Peridot sat cross-legged on the mattress, completely absorbed in the episode. The volume was turned very low.
Steven had explained “sleeping” to both her and Lapis. Apparently humans needed it constantly, and Lapis had gotten used to it very quickly.
She was really good at sleeping.
Peridot, on the other hand, still couldn’t figure it out. Every time she tried, she just ended up lying there staring at the ceiling for hours.
But Steven had been very clear about one thing: when someone was sleeping, you weren’t supposed to make noise.
So Peridot always kept the TV quiet.
On the screen, two Camp Pining Heart characters were staring at each other dramatically in the rain.
“You don’t understand, Percy…” one of them whispered.
Peridot was so immersed in the scene that she didn’t even notice the faint sound behind her.
She only realized Lapis was there when she landed beside her on the mattress.
Peridot jumped so violently she nearly fell off.
“LAPIS—!”
She whipped around, eyes wide.
Lapis was sitting beside her, still half wrapped in a blanket, her hair messy and her expression sleepy.
Peridot immediately panicked.
“Sorry! Did I wake you up? I swear I was keeping the volume low— like, really low— I thought you couldn’t hear it—”
Lapis didn’t say anything.
She just kept watching the TV.
Peridot stopped.
“…oh.”
Silence.
On the television, dramatic music continued playing softly in the background.
Lapis stayed perfectly still, her eyes fixed on the screen.
Peridot had no idea what to do.
Eventually, she slowly turned back toward the episode too.
Or at least she tried to.
Because it had suddenly become impossible to actually focus on the plot anymore.
She was too aware of Lapis sitting beside her. The slight shift of the mattress toward her side. The soft rustling of the blanket whenever she moved a little.
Peridot kept staring at the screen without absorbing any of what was happening.
“Percy, I loved you!” one of the characters shouted.
Peridot blinked.
She had completely lost track of the episode.From then on, things kept getting better.
They had started watching Camp Pining Hearts together regularly. Lapis was still quiet, but at least Peridot had stopped constantly worrying about every single thing she said.
They had fixed up the barn together, making it more livable, more organized. And they had also created the Meep Morps, small improvised objects/creatures that somehow always ended up scattered everywhere and that both of them really liked.
And, most importantly, they had started talking.
Not a lot, not all the time, but enough to fill the silence without it becoming heavy.
And Camp Pining Hearts had become one of their easiest topics.
One day, while they were lying on the mattress watching an episode, Lapis kept staring at the screen for a few seconds in silence before speaking.
“How come so many people in that show start… pressing their lips together?”
She paused briefly, still watching the scene.
“And it also takes up a lot of screen time. And they always do close-ups. So it must be important.”
Peridot stayed quiet for a moment, not taking her eyes off the TV.
She had actually asked herself the exact same question.
“I think it’s some kind of human ritual,” she said finally. “That’s the conclusion I came to as well. Even though I’m not entirely sure what it’s for.”Peridot was silent for a moment, still staring at the screen.
“We could ask Steven,” she said at last. “Maybe he knows what it means.”
Lapis Lazuli gave a small nod, without taking her eyes off the TV.
Peridot suddenly stood up from the mattress and ran to grab the computer Steven had given her some time ago.
“Be right back!” she said, already pressing buttons. “This thing is nowhere near Gem technology, but it can also work like a kind of communicator.”
She settled in front of the screen.
“Let’s video call Steven.”
Lapis stayed seated, watching her in silence.
It took a few seconds.
Then the screen lit up.
Steven Universe appeared on the other side, smiling.
“Hey! Hi girls! Everything okay?”
Peridot quickly responded.
“Yes, yes, no problem. We just have a question about humans and Camp Pining Hearts.”
Steven looked relieved.
“Oh, okay! Go ahead.”
Then he immediately added, with a small smile:
“Just promise me you won’t… go into long digressions or theories about the show, Peridot.”
Peridot stiffened.
“I promise.”
“Good.”
Peridot cleared her throat.
“Why do so many people in the show press their lips together?”
Silence.
Steven blinked.
“Huh?”
Lapis Lazuli stood up without saying a word, took the computer, and turned it toward the TV.
The episode was paused.
On the screen, two characters were clearly shown kissing very passionately.
Steven stayed silent for a few seconds.
“…Ah.”
Peridot and Lapis waited.
“Well,” Steven began, a bit awkwardly, “that’s… a kiss.”
Peridot and Lapis looked at each other.
Just as confused as before.
Steven tried to continue, searching for the right words.
“When two people really like each other…”
“You already explain me how humans are born,” Peridot interrupted immediately.
Silence.
Lapis tilted her head slightly.
“…born how?”
Peridot froze.
“You don’t know?”
“No,” Lapis replied calmly. “No one ever explained it to me.”
Steven took the lead, still a bit awkward.
“Okay, first of all… I don’t want to explain to Peridot again how babies are made.”
Peridot crossed her arms.
“But you started the explanation in exactly the same way.”
“It’s different,” Steven said immediately. “And please don’t interrupt me.”
Peridot stayed quiet, but clearly unconvinced.
Steven sighed softly, trying to find the right words again.
“When two people really like each other, to show their mutual affection… they press their lips together.”
He paused, then added a little more quietly:
“I hope that was clear enough.”
He was visibly embarrassed. Not as much as when he had to explain to Peridot how babies are made, but still enough to make him want to move on as quickly as possible.
Peridot stayed silent for a few seconds.
“I think you’re wrong.”
Steven stiffened.
“…what?”
“I don’t think you even know what it really means,” Peridot said, pointing vaguely at the screen where the episode was still paused. “In the show they keep doing it all the time— if that’s the correct term— but by your explanation, none of them actually seem to like each other for real.”
Steven blinked.
“Well… it’s a show. Those are actors.”
Silence. Lapis, who had been silently thinking to herself until that moment, spoke without taking her eyes off the screen.
“Anyway, I think it’s stupid.”
Steven Universe froze mid-sentence.
“Uh?”
“It doesn’t make sense,” Lapis added calmly.
Peridot immediately turned to her.
“Yeah. That’s what I’m saying.”
Steven opened his mouth to step in.
“Okay, can I just—”
“And it’s also unhygienic,” Peridot continued, interrupting him right away.
Silence.
Steven blinked.
“…unhygienic?”
“Think about germs,” Peridot said, without overthinking it. “You’re that close to another person… you’re exchanging all of them. It’s a terrible idea.”
Lapis gave a small nod.
“You don’t need to do something like that to show affection.”
“Exactly,” Lapis said. “You can talk.”
“Or give gifts,” Peridot added immediately.
“Or spend time together,” Lapis continued.
“Or help each other,” Peridot said.
“Or just stay close without… that,” Lapis concluded.
Steven raised a hand.
“Okay, but—”
Peridot ignored him.
“It’s just a type of contact that doesn’t really make sense.”
Lapis stayed silent for a moment, then added more quietly:
“It’s still strange.”
Peridot looked at her.
“Strange how?”
Lapis turned back to the screen.
“Being that close to someone… it’s really strange.”
Silence.
Steven stood frozen between them.
“…okay, I’m still here if you need—”
Neither of them was listening anymore.Steven kept listening to the two of them with a distant expression, eyes half-closed and his face resting on his hands.
Peridot and Lapis Lazuli were talking over each other now, completely absorbed in the discussion.
Eventually, Steven sighed.
“Okay… you probably think it’s stupid because it’s new to you and you’ve never tried it.”
He ran a hand through his hair, a little exasperated.
“But not everything is strange just because you don’t know it. Or because you were born on a planet where people don’t do it.”
He paused, then looked at the screen.
“Anyway… it’s getting late. I have to go eat. If you want, you can call me again tomorrow morning.”
Lapis and Peridot nodded distractedly.
“Okay.”
“Yeah, alright.”
Steven sighed again.
“Talk to you later.”
And the call ended.
Silence.
For a few seconds, the two of them just sat there in front of the dark screen, then quietly went back to the episode of Camp Pining Hearts.
They watched it in silence.
Then another kiss happened.
Lapis immediately paused the playback.
Peridot blinked.
“Huh—?”
Lapis turned to look at her.
Peridot tensed up right away, giving her an uncertain smile.
“Uh… yeah? What is it?”
Lapis stared at her for a few seconds.
“Can I kiss you?”
Peridot froze completely.
Her mouth slightly open, her mind blank.
“…what?”
“Maybe if we try it, we can understand what humans find so special about it,” Lapis said calmly. “They do it all the time.”
Peridot’s brain short-circuited.
She slowly looked away, but she could still feel Lapis’ gaze on the back of her head.
“Okay,” she said finally, way too fast. “Yes— I mean no— I mean yes, but wait.”
She shot up.
“I need to do something first.”
And she ran downstairs into the barn.
Lapis stayed still for a moment.
Then she tilted her head, listening.
Rummaging sounds. Objects being moved. Something falling.
Curiosity won out.
Without saying a word, she slowly floated down after her into the dark of the barn.When Lapis went downstairs, she found Peridot standing on two overturned metal cans painted red and orange with flame designs on them.
Peridot was completely still.
Her cheeks were noticeably darker green, and she was staring at the floor as if it had suddenly become the most interesting thing in the universe.
Lapis Lazuli tilted her head.
“What are those?”
Peridot swallowed.
“Stilts.”
She paused.
“Steven gave them to me a while ago.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Lapis stepped closer.
Peridot immediately took a small step back, nearly losing her balance on the cans.
Lapis caught her by the arm before she could fall.
And suddenly they were very close.
Too close.
Peridot felt the heat rise to her face, her throat going dry. Her mind completely blank, like everything had shut down except one thought: Lapis is here.
They looked at each other.
For a second that felt much longer than it should have.
Then Lapis leaned in slightly.
And kissed her.
Peridot closed her eyes a moment later, as if her body needed time to process what was happening.
Lapis took her hand.
Silence.
Too close. Too much.
Peridot couldn’t think of anything except Lapis.After a while, the two of them slowly pulled apart.
Lapis Lazuli let go of Peridot’s hand, but neither of them really moved away.
There was a brief silence.
The old television continued to light the barn with its faint bluish glow.
Lapis tilted her head slightly.
“So… how was it?”
Peridot blinked a couple of times.
“…okay, I think.”
She paused awkwardly.
“How did you kiss?”
Lapis seemed to seriously think about it.
“I think good?” she said eventually. “But I’m not an expert, so I don’t really know.”
Peridot nodded slowly, as if that answer made perfect sense.
“Right.”
Silence.
Then Peridot looked at her again.
“What did you feel?”
Lapis stayed quiet for a few seconds.
“…strange,” she said finally.
Peridot tensed slightly.
“Strange in a bad way or a good way?”
Lapis thought for another moment.
“…I think good.”
Peridot visibly relaxed.
“Yeah. I thought it was kind of strange too.”
She lowered her gaze toward the floor.
“I still don’t understand what humans find so special about it.”
“Neither do I,” Lapis said.
Another small silence.
Then Peridot frowned slightly.
“Maybe we’re doing something wrong.”Peridot and Lapis Lazuli went back to watching Camp Pining Hearts in silence.
Every now and then, one of them would interrupt the episode to come up with another theory about what they had done wrong earlier.
“Maybe you’re supposed to tilt your head more.”
“Or keep your eyes open.”
“Maybe you have to do it slower.”
“Or humans are just exaggerating.”
From the way Steven had talked about it — and especially from the way the show treated it — it had to be something important.
And yet they still didn’t really understand it.
After a while, Lapis spoke without taking her eyes off the screen.
“Why did you put those metal cans under your feet?”
Peridot immediately stiffened.
Her cheeks darkened again.
“I— they were just…”
She looked away.
“They were so I could be at your height.”
Lapis blinked.
Peridot kept talking too quickly.
“I didn’t want you to have to bend down to kiss me and I didn’t feel like standing on my tiptoes so it seemed like the most practical solution and—”
“Your height is fine the way it is.”
Peridot stopped.
She looked at her.
Then smiled softly.
When the episode ended, the television left the barn almost completely dark.
Outside, the night sky was filled with stars.
The two of them stayed sitting close together in the quiet stillness of the night.
After a while, Lapis spoke softly.
“Even if we didn’t kiss the right way… I’m okay with it like this.”
Peridot looked at her without saying anything.
“If Steven’s definition is right,” Lapis continued, “then we just showed each other our mutual affection.”
She paused briefly.
“And… I wanted to thank you.”
Peridot blinked.
“For what?”
“You helped me,” Lapis said. “You took care of me. You let me stay here when I came back. You put up with me.”
She lowered her gaze slightly.
“And you never asked for anything in return.”
Peridot stayed quiet for a few seconds.
Then she smiled faintly.
“I think I changed after coming to Earth.”
She looked up at the ceiling of the barn thoughtfully.
“I learned a lot of things. And understood a lot too.”
Then she looked back at Lapis.
“Actually, I’m the one who should thank you.”
Lapis looked surprised.
“If I had been in your place,” Peridot said more quietly, “I don’t think I would’ve forgiven me that easily.”
Silence returned for a moment.
“But you did.”
Peridot lowered her gaze to her hands.
“And now I’m happier.”
She made a small embarrassed face.
“I don’t mind worrying about you.”
Lapis smiled.
And Peridot smiled back.Lapis Lazuli reached a hand toward Peridot and gently took her by the waist.
Peridot blinked.
“Lapis—?”
But she didn’t have time to say anything else.
Lapis lifted into the air, carrying her along.
Peridot let out a small startled sound as the barn quickly disappeared beneath them.
“OH.”
The cool night air rushed past them as they climbed higher and higher into the sky.
Peridot tensed instinctively for a moment, then slowly relaxed, letting herself be carried.
Below them, the fields stretched across the darkness like enormous patches of gold and black beneath the moonlight.
They flew along the coast.
The lights of Beach City glowed quietly beside the ocean, while in the distance Empire City looked like a sea of glowing windows.
Peridot stared at everything wide-eyed.
The wind tousled her hair while Lapis laughed softly beside her.
Then suddenly they dove toward the ocean.
Peridot let out a scream that was half terrified and half delighted.
They skimmed just above the water, close enough for the waves to splash them.
Lapis genuinely laughed this time.
And Peridot ended up laughing with her.
When they returned to the barn, Lapis landed lightly on the roof.
Peridot touched down with her legs still shaking from the adrenaline.
“Wow.”
She placed a hand against her chest, still breathless.
“…thank you.”
Lapis smiled softly.
Then the two of them lay down side by side on the roof, staring up at the star-filled sky.
They stayed silent.
A peaceful silence.
After a while, Lapis slowly moved her hand closer to Peridot’s.
Peridot took it without really thinking about it.