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Roxas. Hated. Destiny Islands.
For one thing, it was bright and sunny and hot every single day (even though Sora had promised it would be cold by winter, that didn’t improve his mood now). For another, there was sand—everywhere.
Even inside the house.
Roxas had only been here a week and already he was waking up every morning grumbling and cursing his life, and fate, and the fact that, even though there were plenty of inland houses on the main island, Sora’s house was a beachfront property.
Sora said he was crazy because he had taken to vacuuming the house everyday, but, seriously, there was sand everywhere, at least downstairs, and someone had to clean it. Sora clearly wasn’t going to do it, so the task fell on Roxas.
Anyway, Sora’s mom loved that Roxas helped with the cleaning, so there. (He ignored the part where she commented that daily vacuuming was a little excessive.)
Roxas was in the process of vacuuming the front hall when there was a knock on the door. He ignored it until he realized that, with the vacuum going, no one else would have heard it, and, with an unnecessarily loud sigh, he stopped the vacuum and went to answer the door.
He opened it to see another teen on the other side. He was tall, and wore a tight-fitting gray t-shirt and jeans. Straight silver hair fell past his shoulders, and long bangs all but covered his eyes, slivers of aquamarine peeking out between silver strands. It irritated Roxas just to look at him; how could he even see?
“Yes?” he asked, impatient; he had cleaning to do.
The boy stared. “Er. Is Sora here?”
Frowning, Roxas turned and yelled, “Hey, Sora! C’mere!”
Figuring that that concluded his duties, Roxas went back to his vacuum and started it up again.
The guy walked in after him, tracking sand into the house, and Roxas decided that he didn’t like him.
“What are you doing?”
“Vacuuming. Obviously. And shoes off,” Roxas said, pointing to the designated shoe-spot (instituted by himself) by the door.
“Okay?” the guy said uncertainly, but didn’t move. “Who are you, again?”
“Riku!” Sora called, bouncing into the hall. “You’re back!” He threw himself onto the guy—Riku, apparently—and gave him a huge hug. Despite his decision to dislike Riku, Roxas spared him a moment of sympathy; he was no stranger to Sora’s personal space-encroaching, bone-crushing hugs.
“Hey, Sora,” Riku said, sounding like he couldn’t breathe—and he probably couldn’t. He gave Sora a couple pats on the back, and Sora stepped back, hands on Riku’s shoulders.
“I missed you! It’s been so boring around here without you.” He pouted. “Even Kairi ditched me to go to Radiant Garden.”
“Well, looks like you found new company anyway,” Riku said, raising his eyebrows at Roxas. Roxas scowled at him and vacuumed up the sand Riku had brought in with him.
“Oh, right, Riku, this is my cousin, Roxas. Roxas, this is Riku, my best friend.”
“Nice to meet you,” Riku said, more courtesy than honesty.
Well, honesty was the best policy, or so it was said.
“Sorry I can’t say the same.”
“Oh, you should probably take your shoes off,” Sora said belatedly. “Roxas has a bit of a…problem with sand.”
“I can see that,” Riku said, and Roxas watched sullenly as Riku took his shoes off.
He clicked the vacuum cleaner off, satisfied with the state of the entrance hall for now, and followed Riku and Sora as they walked to the living room.
“Roxas is living with us now,” Sora explained. “He’s going to high school with us, too.”
“Cool,” Riku said. “Where did you used to live?” he asked, turning to Roxas. “I’m guessing somewhere that doesn’t have sand. Not a fan of beaches?”
Roxas glared. “Screw you. Twilight Town,” he added after a pause, “and beaches are fine—if you’re going for a day. Having to deal with sand 24/7 is just a living hell.”
“If you hate it so much, why move here?” Riku asked.
“My house got too crowded, Sora was lonely, I came to rescue him,” Roxas said flatly. That was more explanation than he deserved.
“He’s only been here a week,” Sora added. “I’m sure he’ll get used to the sand soon enough.”
“Ugh,” Roxas said. Figuring that the best thing to do would be to redirect the conversation from himself, he jerked his head at Riku. “So what’s he doing here?”
“Uh. I’m Sora’s best friend and I just came back after being gone all summer?” Riku said. “It seemed reasonable to drop by.”
Roxas snorted. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he seized upon the opportunity to avoid replying.
It was a text from Axel. Roxas read it as he sat down on the couch.
morning sunshine, it said, even though it one in the afternoon. hows the dreamlife at destiny islands goin for ya?
still too much sand, he replied.
» if youre just going to complain about sand everyday im going to stop texting you
» you wouldn’t.
» watch me
» you’d miss me too much.
» <3
» no.
» <333
» watch it or saix’ll get jealous.
» the day saix feels threatened by you is the day ill have seen everything
Roxas snorted, but before he could reply, Axel sent him another two texts in quick succession.
» miss you already. come back to TT
» <3
Rolling his eyes, Roxas tuned back into the conversation between Sora and Riku.
“Have you finished summer homework?” Sora asked.
“Don’t ask stupid questions,” Riku said, which sounded like a ‘no’ to Roxas. “What grade is your cousin gonna be in, anyway?”
“Junior,” Roxas said. “I’m right here, you know.”
Riku glanced at him, quirking an eyebrow. “You seemed engrossed in your phone last I checked.”
As if on cue, it buzzed again.
» </3 :’(
Roxas sighed.
» miss you too, you dork.
Ignoring the smiley face Axel sent in response, he turned to address Riku. “What about you? Junior, too?” After all, Sora was going to be a junior as well; it made sense.
“Senior,” Riku replied.
“Ah.” Roxas nodded, saying nothing else.
After that, Sora suggested a video game, which Roxas and Riku agreed to. Roxas felt like kicking some ass in Keyblade Warriors.
Riku kicked his ass. Roxas was not pleased.
Roxas hated Riku on principle, really. His first impression of him was of someone who interrupted Roxas’s vacuuming and then tracked sand into the house. He was also unfairly good at Keyblade Warriors. Also, his hair was messy and got all into his eyes, which just made his entire face generally disagreeable.
Plus, he was Sora’s best friend, and so he became a constant in their house the last couple weeks before school started (Because he had somehow finished the rest of his summer homework in one night. What.), which disrupted Roxas’s peace as Sora forced Roxas to hang out with them, too. And then their other friend Kairi came back from her trip to Radiant Garden, and Sora apparently had a mad crush on her, so he spent a lot of time with her when they hung out, forcing Roxas to hang out with Riku even more.
Roxas learned that Riku’s favorite color was green and his favorite band was Three Days Grace, that he owned an impressive collection of video games, that he gardened (gardened, for goodness’ sake) and grew his own vegetables, that he was a total health nut, that he could cook really well but couldn’t bake for shit (that was Sora’s forte), that he went jogging every morning and was intimidatingly fit (Roxas couldn’t run up the stairs without needing to catch his breath afterwards), that he could play the freaking string bass, because apparently he was musical on top of athletic and smart—oh, yeah, and Riku was on the Science Olympiad team at school. Yep.
Basically, Roxas learned a lot more about Riku than he had ever wanted to know. Ever.
Trust Sora to be best friends with some sort of Mr. Perfect. At least he was a douche. (Except he wasn’t, not really, but Roxas needed something to cling on to, okay?)
The last day before school started, Riku and Sora ganged up on Roxas so they could drag him to the beach.
In the end, they literally had to drag him.
“What’s the point of the beach towel if sand ends up on it anyway?” Roxas complained, slinging an arm over his face to cover his eyes.
“Would you rather lay on just the sand?” Riku asked.
“No.”
“Then shut up.”
Roxas sighed noisily and sat up so he could glare at Riku properly.
The difference between Riku and Roxas was that Roxas was wearing a t-shirt. Also that Riku was muscled.
That was also completely not where Roxas was trying to go with his thought.
The difference between Riku and Roxas was that Roxas was sensible. Sand was messy and got everywhere, like Riku’s stupid hair.
He’d been ready to tell Riku that he was insensible for liking the beach, but what came out was, “Are you building a sandcastle?”
“Duh. Want to help?”
“Let me think about that: Willingly touch sand? Pass.”
“I thought you said you were fine with beaches.”
“It’s just, when you go to the beach, there’s sand everywhere, and it gets in all your clothes and everything and it takes forever to clean up and then a seagull steals your food.”
Behind his bangs, Riku’s eyebrows rose. “Wow. Were you traumatized as a child?”
“You know it’s true,” Roxas retorted. “Beaches aren’t all that great in reality. Going with your friends and making memories is what makes it better. But Sora is my annoying cousin and you,” he said, “are not my friend.”
“Ouch,” Riku said, half-smiling at him. “Tell me how you really feel.”
Roxas rolled his eyes. “I value honesty.”
“Okay. Well, I honestly don’t know what I did to piss you off.”
Roxas realized that he was going to have to eat his words. He didn’t exactly want to tell Riku, “I’m pissed off by your general perfection and also your abs holy goodness put a shirt on.”
“You brought sand into the house,” Roxas said, because half-truths weren’t exactly lies.
“You still haven’t forgiven me for that?”
“First impressions are everything,” Roxas told him with a smirk.
“Well.” Riku frowned. “No, because I don’t think you’re a dick.”
“Whoa, wait.” Roxas crossed his arms. “How was my first impression that of a dick?”
Riku raised his eyebrows again. He did that a lot. “Well, let’s see,” he said, and started counting off on his fingers. “You were rude when you answered the door, you yelled for Sora instead of actually replying to me, and then you went to continue your little cleaning ritual, leaving me standing in the doorway.”
“Perfect gentlemanlike behavior.” Roxas tried to keep a straight face as he said it and failed miserably.
Riku returned the grin, the first full smile Roxas had seen on the guy; up till now, it had always been those smirks and half-smiles with him. “So, can we start over?”
“I think I already know too many useless facts about you to really start over,” Roxas said. “It’d be annoying to have to relearn all of that again.”
Riku raised his eyes to the sky, probably searching for patience. After an eternity, he looked back at Roxas, peering at him through his bangs. “Then will you at least stop treating me like a dick?”
“No promises,” Roxas said, but he was still smiling.
Roxas hated Riku’s general existence, really. Everything about him, from his stupid vegetable garden to his stupid delicious homemade pasta to his stupid eyes—which were a really soft aquamarine, and Roxas had fallen into the bad habit of staring at Riku’s eyes whenever he pushed his hair out of the way; no wonder he kept them hidden behind a mess of bangs—to his stupid eyebrows to his stupid muscles to his stupid smile that he would favor on rare occasions and that Roxas had to work to bring out, to the fact that he was a stupid senior and would be leaving for college this time next year while Roxas would still be stuck in the hellish sandpit that was Destiny Islands.
Basically, Roxas hated Riku because Roxas had a crush on him the size of Traverse Town, and it was completely natural to hate your crush.
At school, Roxas had to see Riku in AP Biology and at lunch. But at least at lunch there was Sora and Kairi to distract him. In Bio, Roxas stared directly at Riku’s stupid back and his stupidly broad shoulders, silver hair streaming down his back.
Since Roxas wasn’t going to tell Riku about his little crush and he sure as hell wasn’t going to talk to Sora about it, Axel bore the brunt of Roxas’s sexual frustration. Especially when Roxas was in Bio staring at the back of Riku’s stupid head.
» he’s unfairly attractive, axel.
» yes i think youve mentioned that already
» i hate him more than i hate sand.
» thats intense. so you gonna ask him out or what
» no.
» why not
» why should i?
» because you want to bang him six ways to sunday
Roxas made an aborted strangled noise, attracting the attention of a few of his classmates including, mortifyingly, Riku. At least the teacher paid him no mind as he slunk down in his seat, avoiding Riku’s raised eyebrow and pointed look as he typed out a reply.
» no i don’t.
» please. you send me odes about his abs and his arms and his eyes and his hair
» i hate his hair.
» but you love everything else right
» …no comment.
» yep
“Who are you always texting?” Riku asked him after class.
“My best friend.”
“Aw, and here I thought that was me.”
Roxas thought about Axel’s comment about Roxas wanting to 'bang Riku six ways to Sunday,' and had to stop himself from saying, I’d rather you were my boyfriend. Instead, he snorted and said, “Get over yourself.”
Riku shrugged amicably. “So, who’s this best friend? Someone from Twilight Town?”
Roxas nodded. “Axel. He wants to meet you,” he added without really knowing why, though Axel had requested to meet Riku, mostly because he figured he should put a face to the guy Roxas was always “singing praises about.” For the record, Roxas did not sing praises—Axel was exaggerating.
Riku’s eyebrows went up, and there was half a smile there. “You talk about me?”
Roxas made a vague, inarticulate noise. “Well, I have to complain to someone when you annoy me,” he finally said.
“I see,” Riku said. “So he wants to meet me…why?”
Uh. “Axel wants to meet anyone who can piss me off,” Roxas said seriously. “I’m a very laidback person.”
“He says even though he still vacuums his house every other day.”
“He also wants to see all the sand I keep complaining about,” Roxas said.
“Ah,” Riku said, half-smile growing subtly larger. “So what you’re saying is I’m on the same level as sand.”
“You’re above sand, actually,” Roxas said. “Feel special.”
“Why, Roxas,” Riku said, “I’m honored.”
Roxas still saw a lot of Riku outside of school. It was like their house was Riku’s second home, except Riku seemed to be at their house more often than his own. It turned out Riku’s parents were gone a lot for work, so, over the years, Riku had come to spend most of his time at Sora’s.
Usually they just lounged around in the living room or sat at the kitchen table doing homework. Sometimes they’d watch TV, or play a video game, or pull out a board game, or even take a nap, on the more sluggish days. Usually Sora was there, and sometimes Kairi, too, but other times it was just the two of them, and on those days, Riku sprawled out on the couch with his textbooks and Roxas simultaneously envied how comfortable he looked—because Roxas did not yet feel comfortable in what was supposed to be his own home—and fought the urge to go over and wrap his arms around him and shove his tongue down his throat. And then maybe do some other things, right there on the couch.
He was so screwed.
Roxas did have a life that did not revolve around Riku though, okay. He’d still needed a visual/performing art credit to graduate and, being a transfer student, had been able to audition for choir at the beginning of the school year even though auditions were usually held at the end of the previous school year.
Singing was the only musical thing Roxas had some skill at. He liked piano and violin, but was utter crap at both, and he’d tried the flute once and was okay, but it was nothing to brag about.
Anyway, so he’d gotten into men’s choir. Men’s choir was a thing that he did completely separate from Riku. Yup.
He’d even gotten a solo for the upcoming winter recital, mostly because Axel had dared him to try out.
He hadn’t expected to actually get it.
The first time Roxas went to Riku’s house (to work on a project, completely innocent, okay), he was struck speechless by the state of Riku’s room.
“You’re the most organized person I know, did you know that?” Riku said as Roxas’s jaw worked soundlessly.
“I—this is worse than Sora’s room!” Roxas burst out, because he hadn’t thought a bedroom could get any worse than that.
“Hey, it’s not that bad,” Riku said. “Besides, I like it messy.”
“Messy is an understatement.”
Riku laughed at that and managed to clear a space (seriously) on the floor so they could work on their biology project.
“So, really, what’s the deal with your family?” Riku asked after a while.
“Huh?”
“You said your house was crowded, and that’s why you moved all the way from Twilight Town to Destiny Islands to live with your cousin,” Riku said, eyebrows raised. They were going to get stuck like that one day. “In the middle of high school.”
“It’s not like it was in the middle of the school year,” Roxas said, but all he could think was, I told him that three months ago on the day we met and he still remembers.
Riku didn’t reply, and Roxas sighed.
“So it was me, my mom, my dad, and my little sister, Naminé. Then my cousins moved in—Vanitas, Ventus, and Xion, ‘cause they couldn’t pay rent for their apartment. Well, Xion’s a kid, but Vani and Ven are in college. So they come in with us for a while and the house is really crowded, and loud, and just generally annoying.”
“Moving to Destiny Islands is a bit of an extreme reaction, isn’t it?” Riku asked. He hesitated. “Unless you…didn’t leave voluntarily,” he said awkwardly.
“They totally should have kicked the others out; Vani and Ven are adults and all. But I guess it was kind of my fault,” Roxas said wryly. “I’d been sort of trying to get permission to live in an apartment by myself. Ended up here instead. The parents figured a change of scenery might do me good. I don’t think it was a very hard decision after they found out I was gay.” He said the end in a rush, and it was a test, really, to see how Riku would react.
But Riku just frowned and said, “They kicked you out?”
“Unofficially. Sora was lonely, you know. Called me every goddamn day.” Roxas stabbed a finger at his chest. “So it’s really your fault for abandoning him. God, he’s like a puppy.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, it was really an excuse to send me away, you know?”
He totally should have told his parents that Vanitas was bi. It wasn’t a lie, and then maybe they would have been sent away, and Roxas would be back in Twilight Town.
But that hadn’t happened, and instead Roxas was in Destiny Islands, sitting next to a boy whose hair fell into his eyes, who wasn’t as perfect as Roxas had thought, who had fears and insecurities and flaws just like everyone else, but whose imperfections made him even more perfect to Roxas.
“I’m sorry,” Riku said after an interminable silence, looking forward. “That was a…really dickish move on their part.”
“Oh, it’s not all that bad,” Roxas said. “I mean, I guess meeting you wasn’t so bad.”
Good job on being as subtle as a ton of bricks, Roxas.
“Really.” Riku’s voice held a trace of amusement. He turned to face him, full smile. “I thought I topped sand on your hate list.”
“I may have…been hasty in my judgment,” Roxas allowed.
Riku chuckled softly, brushing his bangs out of the way, and Roxas froze, because they were sitting really close. Roxas was getting an up close and personal, not at all obscured by bangs viewing of Riku’s eyes.
He let out a shaky breath as his gaze drifted to Riku’s mouth, and he contemplated whether it would be a good idea to kiss him—it was probably a terrible idea, but he was getting ready to do it anyway when his phone let out an untimely trill.
Cursing Axel mentally, Roxas jerked away and fumbled for his phone.
» im bored whats up. and dont talk about riku
“Sorry, it’s Axel,” Roxas said, not sure why he was apologizing. If anything, Axel had just saved Roxas from doing something stupid.
» screw you. or thank you. not sure yet.
» wait what
» i may have been about to kiss riku when you texted me.
» i thought i said not to talk about riku
» too bad, you get that anyway.
“So…is Axel your boyfriend?” Riku asked, breaking the somewhat uncomfortable silence that had befallen them.
Roxas choked on his saliva. “What?” he asked, still sounding a bit strangled. “No.”
“Oh, okay,” Riku said, looking extremely awkward.
» if i have to put up with this youd better actually get with him
“He’s just my best friend,” Roxas said, feeling awkward himself but also thinking Riku deserved a proper explanation. “But he was also my only friend. He’s three years older than me, and the only person I hung out with besides my sister and cousins. Oh, and he has a boyfriend, but I doubt my parents knew that. They made it pretty clear Axel was the reason they were uncomfortable with me staying in Twilight Town, especially after I started angling for my own apartment. Er—don’t tell him that, though. He doesn’t know. He’d flip.”
He’d gotten another text from Axel while he was talking, and Roxas checked his phone, mostly to avoid looking at Riku, who wasn’t saying anything anyway.
» just to be clear you dont just want to sleep with him right
Oh, Roxas wished he only wanted to sleep with Riku. It would have been a lot easier to ignore, if he just wanted Riku. But, no, there had to be feelings involved. He had to like him, too.
» sadly, no.
» no thats good. now kiss him
“I should go,” Roxas said abruptly, standing up.
“Right,” Riku said, then hesitated. “Project?”
“I’ll do my half at home,” Roxas said in a rush, gathering up his stuff. “See you at school tomorrow.”
» you are a grade A idiot
» shut up.
» if youre going to be an idiot about riku dont talk to me about riku
» fine, whatever. when are you coming to visit?
He missed hanging out with someone he didn’t have to second-guess himself around. More than that, he missed Axel.
» ill drop by during your winter break
Well, that was one thing to look forward to. Also, that meant Axel wouldn’t see Roxas sing a solo at the choir concert a week before break, which was good, because that would have been all kinds of embarrassing.
Roxas made the mistake of telling Axel this, and Axel amended his plans to be there a week before winter break started.
Since Sharing and Caring hour and the Almost Kiss in Riku’s room, Roxas had glued himself to Sora’s side whenever possible. This minimized Roxas-and-Riku-alone-together time to biology class, during which it was easy enough to avoid talking to Riku by texting (or pretending to text) Axel at the beginning of the period, then by staring intently at the teacher all class, and bolting at the end of the period; after school, Roxas would excuse himself to work in his room. After a while, Riku stopped coming over when Sora wasn’t there.
He felt bad about it, but not bad enough, even though Riku had started giving him looks like a wounded puppy, which wasn’t fair. Only Sora should be able to pull off the wounded puppy look. And Riku should be lucky Roxas had so much self-control, because otherwise he would have kissed that look right off his face.
Or done something even more embarrassing, like confess his undying love. Anything to get Riku to stop looking so hurt, to get him to bestow one of his rare smiles—which had been becoming increasingly less rare until Roxas had gone and screwed everything up—upon him.
This was not going to end well.
“Did I mess up?”
Roxas started, badly. Riku seemed to have taken the hint and hadn’t been talking to him, so Roxas hadn’t expected today to be any different. And now that he’d reacted, he couldn’t pretend that he’d been too distracted texting to hear him.
“What?” he asked. He set his phone down, though he was still reluctant to meet Riku’s gaze. Instead, he found himself staring at his throat, which was possibly even worse. He averted his gaze to the zipper of Riku’s jacket.
“I was just wondering if—did I say something wrong, or did I not say something I should have?” Riku’s voice was even, but it was quiet, almost timid.
“What are you talking about?”
Riku sounded more annoyed now as he said, “Don’t pretend you haven’t been avoiding me since that day at my house. I just want to know what I did wrong.”
Roxas winced. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said, forcing himself to look into Riku’s half-covered eyes. “You just…should have stuck to your first impression of me.”
There was a pause as they both went to their conversation from over three months ago.
“You’re not a dick,” Riku said eventually. “I didn’t think you were one, anyway,” he said, and Roxas let out a disbelieving huff. “Okay, maybe a little bit.”
“I’m fairly confident your first thought was, ‘Wow, who is this dick?’”
Riku’s laugh was just hollow enough to make Roxas want to curl in on himself out of shame. “I thought you were interesting.”
“Sorry.” Roxas blurted it out before he decided what to say next. “I mean. You’re right—I’ve been avoiding you. I’m just…really bad at talking about myself?” he tried. “Even Sora doesn’t know that stuff.”
He noted with relief that Riku seemed to relax.
“I wasn’t sure what to say,” Riku said. “And then you just left, and I thought I messed up.”
“No, that was just me being a grade A idiot,” Roxas said, and mentally kicked himself for his choice of words. Dammit, Axel.
“But we’re still friends?” There was the half-smile, still tinged with uncertainty.
“Yeah,” Roxas mumbled, and there was the full smile.
The final bell rung and the teacher called attention to the class, and Roxas let out a pent-up breath as Riku turned around.
They were friends. That was it.
Roxas hadn’t told Sora that he had gotten a solo in the choir concert, hoping that Sora would decide not to subject himself to listening to people sing for two hours.
It had been foolish to hope.
On the evening of the concert, Sora was practically bouncing off the walls with excitement. Apparently he went to all of them anyway, go figure—Sora probably went to all the plays and improv matches and sports games, too—but was super-enthused to be supporting Roxas tonight, too.
His life. Ugh. At least it looked like Axel wouldn’t be there. Since he was in the show, Roxas had to be at school earlier, but if Axel he was going to show up, he should have arrived by now.
Or so he thought.
» your recital starts at 7 right? :)
“Oh, goddammit,” Roxas muttered, but he tapped out an affirmative before tossing his phone on his bed and eyeing himself critically in the mirror.
Men’s choir had to wear a rich black suit with a dark blue vest and matching cravat. As someone who never dressed up, Roxas felt ridiculous in it, and also crippling embarrassment with the knowledge that Axel was going to see him in this get-up.
Staring at his reflection wasn’t going to make him look any less silly, though, so Roxas just sighed, combed his fingers through his hair, pocketed his phone, and made a beeline for the front door.
He didn’t quite manage to dodge Sora, though, and had to put up with a minute of Sora telling him how great he looked and how excited he was and how Roxas was going to be awesome.
And then, as Roxas finally got away and was opening the door, Sora said, “Riku, Kairi, and I will see you there!”
Roxas froze. “Riku is coming?”
“Duh.” Sora grinned. “Kairi, too.”
“R-right. Okay. See you there,” Roxas said, and high-tailed it out of there.
He didn’t know why he was surprised, because he really shouldn’t have been. Of course Riku was going to be there. Naturally. Or, to borrow Sora’s word, duh. Sora probably would have dragged Riku there even if he didn’t want to go.
His stomach sunk as he realized that Axel would probably meet “the infamous Riku,” (as Axel had put it once) tonight, too. It made sense that they would meet on what was going to be the most embarrassing night of Roxas’s life. Roxas’s luck just worked out that way.
It was all Axel’s fault, really. He’d dared Roxas to audition in the first place.
Making a frustrated noise in the back of his throat, Roxas shoved both Axel and Riku out of his mind. He had his songs to concentrate on.
Whatever Roxas had been expecting, a packed theatre wasn’t it. Apparently choir concerts were a bigger deal than he’d thought.
His stomach was feeling kind of queasy from the thought of singing in front of all these people. The men’s choir selections shouldn’t be that bad, but he was seriously sweating over his solo. The fact that he’d spotted his friends in the first row—and he was willing to bet it was Sora who’d dragged them there—didn’t help. Also, Axel was sitting next to Riku. And they were talking. Roxas was worried. Roxas was very worried.
Then it was go-time, and Roxas waited backstage with the rest of his choir group and tried to think of anything but Riku sitting in that front row.
Thankfully, Roxas would be singing with men’s choir before his solo; if he’d had to go out by himself first, he might have thrown up. He wondered belatedly why he thought choir was a good idea for his art credit.
When he went out with the others to sing, Roxas kept his gaze fixed on the wall at the back of the theatre, fighting the urge to look down at the audience, knowing that if he did, he would forget all the words and make a complete fool of himself.
After that, there were two other soloists before Roxas, so he waited with his heart in his mouth until it was his turn to walk alone onto the stage.
As the opening notes of The Atheist Christmas Carol played, Roxas gripped his microphone tighter and stared at no one. When he started singing, his voice was shaky, but he forced it to even out, and, after a few lines, he even relaxed a little, though his heart was still pounding a lot faster than it should have been in his chest.
Then his eyes slipped to the crowd, to the first row, to Sora and Kairi’s broad, encouraging smiles (expected), to Axel’s proud smirk (weird), to Riku’s…Riku. It was one of those rare occasions where Riku’s bangs were pushed out his face, and their eyes met just as he sang, It’s the season of eyes meeting over the noise and holding fast with sharp realization, and because this was his life, Roxas’s brain got stuck on the thought, I love you a whole damn lot, and he almost missed the next line.
He sang on autopilot, mostly because he couldn’t tear his gaze from Riku and his distracting eyes. He was smiling, not his usual half smile, not even his full smile, but just a little smile that made Roxas’s stomach clench.
They were still staring at each other when Roxas finished, his voice trailing off on the last Don’t forget, don’t forget I love, I love, I love you. And then he had to stand there for the closing notes of the song, just staring at Riku. Applause broke out, startling him, and they finally broke eye contact. Sora, predictably, whooped. Axel winked at him. He didn’t look at Riku again and then, finally, he could leave.
Backstage, Roxas proceeded to figure out where the nearest cliff was so he could go throw himself off of it.
They all came out at the end to sing the alma mater and a bonus Christmas song because ‘tis the season. There was a final bow, and then they were released.
Honestly, Roxas would have preferred to be stuck backstage. The moment he’d stepped down from the stage, Sora had tackled him in a hug and started babbling.
“Roxas you were amazing why didn’t you tell me you had a solo you jerk I didn’t find out until I looked at the program!”
Roxas blinked. “Uh.” Carefully extricating himself from Sora, he said, “I wanted it to be a surprise?” It flat-out sounded like an excuse, but it was, apparently, a good enough answer for Sora, who gave him another smile before leaving to dump compliments on some of the other choir kids he knew.
“You look nice.”
Roxas scowled; Axel hadn’t even bothered to disguise the humor in his tone. Before he could reply, however, Axel grabbed him in a hug, cooing, “I missed youuuu.”
Roxas stifled a protest. At least Axel had an excuse; they hadn’t seen each other for months.
“I’m buying a DVD of this, don’t think I won’t,” Axel murmured into his ear, as if he didn’t have enough blackmail material stacked up against Roxas. “Also, if you tell me you’re not madly in love with Riku, you’re lying.”
Roxas exhaled, a shaky half-laugh. “You might be onto something there.”
“Good.” Axel patted his back. “Now, go tell him. We can catch up later.”
“Wh—I’m not going to tell him.”
Axel’s look was that of amused pity. “Rox, even if you don’t tell him, he knows. You couldn’t have been more obvious if you said it to his face.”
“Well,” Roxas said, struggling for an excuse. “I’ll see Riku all year. You’re only here for break.”
“Roxas,” Axel said. “Go. Talk. To. Him.” He glanced around. “I’ll go introduce myself to your cousin properly. By the way—any chance I could stay at your place while I’m here?”
“Uh—”
“Hey, here’s an idea, I’ll work it out with Sora! See ya later, Roxas.” Axel patted him again and sauntered off before Roxas could say anything in reply.
Roxas stood dumbfounded for a minute before deciding that, yeah, he should probably find Riku, only to turn around and see him standing right behind him.
“Hey,” Riku said.
“Hi,” Roxas said dumbly.
“Good job tonight.”
“Thanks.”
The awkwardness was palpable.
“It’s crowded in here,” Riku commented. “Want to step outside?”
Roxas nodded and followed him out.
A few people were milling around, chatting as they waited for their rides or before they parted ways, but most of them were still inside.
It was cold, but Roxas felt warm. Probably because he’d literally sweated through his performances. Riku’s silver hair seemed to almost glow in the moonlight; it spilled messily over his pea coat, and Roxas was struck by the conflicting thoughts of wanting him to leave the coat on and wanting to take it off of him. The fact that they were in a public place and a sense of what was socially acceptable made the decision easy, but it didn’t stop the thought.
Although, right, the fact that Roxas kind of wanted to tear off all of Riku’s clothes was kind of why he was supposed to be talking to him right now.
Roxas puffed out a breath, watching the cloud it formed, and made up his mind.
“Ri—” he started, the rest of his name lost in a mumble as Riku kissed him.
Roxas immediately sank into the kiss, first clutching Riku’s shoulders, then moving his hands to thread through his hair, silky and cold from the winter air, and Roxas immediately rescinded any negative thoughts he might have had about Riku’s hair in the past. Riku’s hands came up to cup his face and Roxas slid his hands through his hair to settle on his warm neck.
Time seemed to freeze for a long moment, and then Riku broke the kiss and rested their foreheads together, breath mingling in the space between them.
“Uh—yeah,” Roxas breathed out. “That.”
Riku chuckled softly, his breath tickling Roxas’s face. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”
Roxas groaned. “You could have said something.”
“I wanted to be sure.”
“I was horribly obvious tonight, wasn’t I,” Roxas said glumly, because it didn’t even deserve the inflection of a question.
“A bit,” Riku admitted. “But I’d already talked to Axel about it.”
“What.”
Riku pulled back. “I told Axel I liked you. I wanted to know if I had a chance.”
“What did…what did Axel say?”
“He laughed in my face,” Riku said. “Then he told me not to worry about it.”
Roxas could picture Axel doing that, especially the laughing in Riku’s face bit. He wondered how Riku had reacted to that.
Instead of asking him—there was time enough for that later—Roxas reached out and brushed Riku’s bangs aside. “I’ve been wanting to do that since I first saw you,” he said, staring into those aquamarine eyes, and when Riku moved to kiss him again, Roxas met him halfway.
The way Riku kissed was slow and thorough, so that it felt like it would last forever. Roxas was perfectly content with that, moaning a little into the kiss as Riku deepened it and sliding his arms under Riku’s, hands gripping loosely at his shoulder blades.
They were both reluctant to end it, pulling away slowly and coming back for another quick, soft kiss, then another, then a longer one, lingering and drawing it out, until finally Roxas mumbled, their mouths still only centimeters apart, “We should stop before Sora and the others come out.”
“I don’t care if he knows,” Riku said. “Do you care?”
Roxas thought about it. “No, but he’s my cousin. I’d feel weird if he saw us kissing. Also, Axel would take a picture.”
Besides that, more people were coming out of the theatre, and Roxas didn’t know about Riku, but he had never been one for PDA.
Riku let out an amused huff of breath. “Fine.”
Then, because neither could resist, they kissed once more, short one this time, but Roxas knew he wouldn’t have minded stretching it out despite the aforementioned crowds of people because he was completely gone on Riku.
He took a step back from Riku before he kissed him again. His self-control was so much better before he knew that he could, that Riku would let him.
Also, he couldn’t stop smiling. His face was going to hurt from smiling soon.
Axel, Sora, and Kairi came out from the theatre moments later. Axel was grinning slyly at him, and it occurred to Roxas that maybe he’d been stalling their exit.
“You’re glowing,” Axel informed him quietly as he sidled up to stand beside him. “It’s disgustingly adorable.”
“Shut up.” Roxas’s glower failed to be effective on account of the fact that he couldn’t. Stop. Smiling.
“Aww,” Axel said, and Roxas swatted his arm.
“I don’t know why I ever missed you,” Roxas snorted.
Axel giggled, but they settled into a comfortable silence as they walked, Axel on one side of him and Riku on the other. On Riku’s other side, Sora chattered with Riku and Kairi, but Roxas was content to walk quietly. Axel nudged Roxas’s arm and nodded to the space between Riku and Roxas. Glancing down, Roxas realized that at some point they had started holding hands. He didn’t call attention to it, but smiled to himself and continued walking.
Axel cough-muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, “Disgustingly adorable,” but Roxas didn’t care. Life was good.
BONUS!
The last two days before break started were agonizing. The school day was agonizing because no one particularly felt motivated for school with only two days to go before they were free for two weeks. Roxas kept with his tradition of texting Axel throughout the day, even though he was here now, and Axel snuck into the school during lunch—with fast food. Roxas knew he liked him for a reason.
After school was agonizing because, even though he got to spend time with Riku, the time was spent in the company of others, which meant that Roxas couldn’t kiss Riku or do whatever else he wanted to with him.
Axel knew about them, obviously, and they’d told Sora and Kairi that they were dating now, but Roxas still wasn’t keen on making out with Riku in front of people, and especially not his cousin and best friend.
So instead, Roxas had to sit there with Riku pressing his thigh against his and stew in his sexual frustration while they played video games or watched TV shows he really couldn’t care less about. And, fine, sometimes when Riku put his arm around him because he was utterly unsubtle, Roxas maybe sank into his side and cuddled with him a little bit. But that made his situation only marginally better.
But on the last Friday before break, Sora and Kairi went out in the evening on a date and Axel said some really vague words that made no sense before conveniently disappearing, and Riku took Roxas back to his house; his parents were out of town again.
And, well, the night’s events could be summed up in two texts, really:
» AXEL I HAD SEX WITH RIKU AXEL WE JUST HAD SEX WOW 10/10 WOULD BANG AGAIN.
» congrats. please never text me again
(Roxas continued to text him.)