Work Text:
Dear all,
Please feel free to note down any messages you would like to share here.
Charles x
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Dear Alex,
What have you done with my tripod?
Hank
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Dear Hank,
Dunno, ask Sean
Alex
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Dear Hank,
I don't know either
Sean :)
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Dear all,
Surely that could have been disterned via verbal communication?
Charles x
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Dear Charles,
Nah
Alex
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Dear Charles,
That would require Alex to leave his room, Sean to leave where ever it is he spends his time and myself to leave the lab, which we rare do nor want to. Kitchen breaks, as you mentioned a week before developing this refridgerator note-making form of communication, are the only time we are ever likely to cross paths due to the size of the mansion and our respective whereabouts within it. To gather information on my tripod using verbal communication would defeat the object of your note-making idea.
Hank
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Dear Hank,
Sassy bozo
Alex
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Dear Charles,
What Hank said
Sean
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Dear all,
I should have known the three of you would abuse this method.
Charles x
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Dear Charles,
Maybe
Alex, Hank and Sean
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Dear all,
You mean to say the three of you were in the kitchen together?
Charles x
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Dear Charles,
Yes. We had breakfast together while you were in Cerebro. Don't worry, we left you some.
Alex
P.S What's with the kisses?
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Dear Alex,
I believe its a customary sign of casual affection in England, one that we Americans may find inappropriately intimate or just plain weird.
Hank
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Dear Alex and Hank,
Yes, thank you for that Hank. If the kisses make you uncomfortable, I can stop.
Charles x
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Dear Charles,
Its not making us uncomfortable, it's just kinda weird
Sean :)
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Dear Alex,
Could you pop into town, we're out of milk and bread.
Thanks
Charles x
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Dear Alex,
Add some tomatoes to that, we're out of them too
Sean :)
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Dear Sean,
Your ignorance is astounding. One does not ask a person whom is allergic to tomatoes, to go out and buy some tomatoes. Get them yourself.
Hank
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Dear all or whatever,
Charles - Sure thing, anything else while I'm out?
Sean - Idiot
Hank - Thanks, bozo
Alex
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Dear Alex,
Ah sorry! Totally forgot. Guess this means no more BLTs
Sean :)
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Dear Sean,
No
Alex
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Dear Alex,
You've probably not seen this, but some minty sweets would be nice too.
Thank you
Charles x
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Dear Hank,
Any idea when Alex's going to be back?
Sean :)
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Dear Sean,
How should I know?
Hank
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Dear Hank,
You know stuff like this
Sean :)
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Dear Sean,
About half an hour, maybe more. Approximately 45 minutes according to previous town visits.
Hank
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Dear Hank,
Thanks, bro!
Sean :)
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Dear all,
Might have almost gotten arrested. Not my fault.
Alex
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Dear Alex,
What on Earth did you do!?
Charles
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Dear Alex
Ooooo! No kiss, you're in trouble Alex
Sean :)
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Dear Charles,
The guy was getting too emotional over an apple pie.
Alex
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Dear Alex,
Did you by any chance bump into him, knock the pie from his hands and splatter the poor pie's apple organs all over the shop floor?
Hank
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Dear Hank,
Might have. It was an accident. How do you know?
Alex
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Dear whoever,
Ha, apple organs
Sean :)
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Dear Alex,
Lucky guess. Might I ask how that developed into your almost getting arrested?
Hank
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Dear Hank (and Charles too),
The guy happened to be a guard at my old prison. It was an accident.
Alex
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Dear Alex,
A complete accident that in a relatively large grocery store, you managed to knock into the man who helped keep you prisoner for three years?
Hank
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Dear Hank,
Yes.
Alex
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Dear Alex,
Never mind, it's over and done with now and you're not arrested. Thank you for getting the milk and bread, could you get some mints next time :)
Charles x
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Dear Alex,
Was the 'accident' done by any chance, your foot?
Hank
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Dear Hank,
Not my fault the guy wasn't looking where he was walking. I didn't mean for him to break his nose.
And Charles, yeah sure, sorry I didn't see it before I left
Alex
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Dear Alex,
You broke his nose...
No matter about the sweets :)
Charles x
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Dear Charles,
No, the floor broke his nose
Alex
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Dear all,
You have no idea how hard I'm laughing right now, I just got back from my aunts and this is what I came home to.
You guys are fricken' awesome
Sean :D
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Dear all,
I'm glad we've captured this conversation in notes. It would have been a shame to have lost this in feeble verbal communication.
You're awesome too, Sean
Hank
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Dear Hank,
Verbal communication is still something we need to work on. These notes were not intended to form conversations nor replace verbal communication, but quick passing notes and shopping requests.
Charles x
P.S Sean, how is your aunt?
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Dear Charles,
Talking is now a thing of the past.
NOTES ALL THE WAY!
Oh and she's fine, and little weirded out by the whole 'we're superheroes with superpowers who also happen to be wanted by most of the world's major governments' but otherwise she's good
Sean :)
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Dear Charles,
Ugh talking. Do you know how long the walk is to the lab? Or the lounge? Kitchen's much closer and you get food while you're there
Alex
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Dear All,
Why is there a goat in the garden?
Alex
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Dear Alex,
There's a goat in the garden? I don't see it
Ignore that I see it. I have no idea why.
Hank
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Dear Sean,
Why is there a goat in the garden?
Charles x
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Dear all,
I don't know. Can we keep it?
Sean :)
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Dear Sean,
No
Alex
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Dear Alex,
May I borrow your book on geomagnetism?
Hank
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Dear Hank,
Which one?
Alex
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Dear Alex,
Dude how many do you have?
Sean :)
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Dear Sean,
Get your goat to shut up or I'll will
Alex
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Dear Sean,
I seconded that. Goat bleating is detremental to scientific progress.
Hank
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Dear assholes,
Leave Lulu alone! She's just vocal, like me
Sean
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Dear Sean,
Please refrain from swearing, that goes for you all. Consider this a warning.
Charles x
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Dear Charles,
Please 'convince' Sean he doesn't need a pet goat
Alex and Hank
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Dear all,
I had a goat!?!?
Sean :)
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Dear boys,
Is this seriously how you talk to each other?
Mystique
P.S - Azazel thinks it's hilarious, I've never seen him so much as crack a smile before, let alone hyperventilate, I thought he was going to die
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Dear all,
That was a close one, well done everyone. Alex, fantastic work on developing your shields, you've come along way from mindless blasting. Hank, brilliant work on the inbuilt security, may need some tweeking in the west wing. Sean, great job, I doubt Azazel will be able to hear much for a long time.
Charles x
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Dear all,
Where are all the past notes? Reading over them is the highlight of my morning :(
Sean :)
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Dear Sean,
The fridge was getting cramped, they're in the bottom left drawer to the right of the stove if you want to read them.
Alex
P.S - Get a life
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Dear Alex,
Thank you, Alex. It was getting rather crowded on here.
Charles x
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Dear Alex,
Says the guy who gets tetchy over his room being all lined up perfectly
Sean :)
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Dear Sean,
That's not not having a life, that's being tidy, unlike the bomb site of your pit
Alex
P.S - Grammar sucks, I just used not twice
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Dear Sean,
That reminds me, tidy your room, I can't get the door open let alone my wheelchair.
Charles x
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Dear all,
I'm bored
Sean :)
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Dear Sean,
Want to train?
Alex
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Dear all,
No more unsupervised training from now on.
Charles
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Dear X-Men,
You are all dweebs with horrible clothes.
Janos
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Dear Hank,
Uh, west wing?
Alex
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Dear all,
Huh, Janos left me a tux
Alex
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Dear Alex,
Same, mines got a butt flap
Sean :)
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Dear Alex,
He left me one too, its tailored!
Hank
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Dear all,
I have been gone for two days. What is this I'm reading?
Charles x
P.S - The suits fit you all perfectly, Janos certainly has style. Very thoughtful of him. Gray suits you Alex. Might I request that you wear them more often?
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Dear Charles,
No
Alex
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Dear Alex,
You didn't tell us your tux came with roses too. Where are my roses huh? :P ;)
Sean :)
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Dear Alex,
Indeed, Alex, where are my roses? Surely Janos knew of mine and Sean's interest in florestry if he knew our proportions?
Hank
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Dear fuckers,
Fuck the fuck off
Alex
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Dear all,
Admittedly while Janos' knowledge of your measurements, and apparent interest in Alex is unexpected, that kind of language on the fridge is unacceptable and we shan't talk about it again. Certainly not on the fridge.
Alex you're on washing duties for the next week.
Sean, where did you find these roses? Are they nice? Perhaps they can decorate the table.
Charles x
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Dear Charles,
I found the roses in the trash all wrapped up in nice paper and the note "Alex, my apuesto pequeño iniciador de fuego, Janos" whatever that means. They're really fancy red roses, look all soft and fuzzy. I'll smack them in a vase.
Sean :)
P.S - Ha! Alex has an admirer
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Dear all,
That message means "handsome little fire starter". I assure you Alex, we will defend your honor and virtue.
Hank
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Dear all,
Virtue
Charles x
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Dear all,
I hate you
Alex
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Dear Hank,
It wasn't me
Sean :)
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Dear Sean,
Run
Hank
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Dear Alex,
Please. Please. Please give me a ride!
Sean :)
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Dear Sean,
Ha. No. I'm never letting you anywhere near my bike again. You even think about touching it and it will be the last thing you ever do.
Alex
P.S - I mean it, moron
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Dear Alex,
Not fair! It wasn't my fault you crashed it into the pond!
Sean :(
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Dear Sean and Alex,
Couldn't help but read over this, and given that I am an unbias third party and witness to the event thought my input would be of some value.
Sean you were driving, how is it physically possible for Alex to have been the one to crash it?
Alex, you should have known better to trust Sean with your bike beforehand. That pond is right next to the path. The signs were there.
Hank
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Dear Hank,
Why do you always have to take Alex's side?
Sean :(
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Dear Sean,
Because he loves me more than you
Alex
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Dear Alex and Sean,
As already stated I am an unbias third party
Hank
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Dear Sean,
That means he loves me more than you
Alex
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Dear Alex,
Yeah well Charles loves me more
Sean :p
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Dear all,
Sibling rivalries and competitions over Hank and I's love will not be tolerated outside training sessions.
And please leave me out of this, its not proper for a parent to pick a favourite.
Charles x
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Dear Sean,
That also means Charles loves me more.
Alex
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Dear Alex,
I already told you that mom loves me more
Sean :)
P.S - I know who else loves you, Alex :P
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Dear all,
Mom!? At least call me mum
Charles x
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Dear Sean,
Moummy's boy.
And fudge you
Alex
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Dear all,
Fudge and other similar words are acceptable replacements for profanities :) Well done for setting an example, Alex, and thank you for the 'U' instead of the 'O'
Charles x
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Dear Alex,
Now who's the mummy's boy?
Sean
P.S - See? I spelled it mummy not mommy
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Dear Sean,
Spelt
Hank, an unbias third party that wants to be able to get the milk from the fridge without being bombarded by an avalanche of notes over whom mum loves more.
FYI, mum loves me the most, you two do not compare
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Dear one of the nerds,
What's 8 x 19?
Sean :)
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Dear Sean,
Should I ask?
Hank
P.S - Its 152
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Alex and Janos sitting in a tree
Sean :)
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K
Hank
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I
Sean :)
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S, S
Charles x
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No
Who the fudge do you think
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Dear Alex,
Your face when Janos kissed you! Ha!
Sean :)
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Dear Sean,
Your face when I punch your lights out! Ha!
Alex
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What the hell is this?
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Dear Logan,
This is how we in this household communicate and have being going so sporadically for the last seven months. While initially serious, this has become a running joke between us, particularly since we do actually talk to each other face to face on an average of nine hours a day. Etiquette, which even our enemies grasped, is that you begin with 'Dear (whomever you which to address' and sign off with your name. Also, swearing is prohibited. You're on washing up duties for a week now.
Hank
P.S - My lab is down the end of the east hall, ground floor on the right if you want to beat me up
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Dear Logan,
Sorry about tearing you in half, good job you're a superhealer!
Alex
P.S - My room is in the northern wing, second floor, third door on your right if you want to beat me up
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Dear Logan,
My bad :)
Sean :)
P.S - My room is in the east wing, third floor, right next to that freaky statue of the angel with no arms and the not-pot (you'll know what I mean when you see it) if you want to beat me up
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Dear all,
You're all insane. I like you, you're not a bad bunch.
Hold on the beat ups
Logan
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Dear all,
The motherfudger took my bike.
Too bad it still has pond goo in the gears
Alex
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Dear Alex,
Ha! Adios Logan!
Sean :)
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Dear all,
I shall miss him and his bear bottle leaving habit like a very large hole in my head.
Hank
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Dear all,
I totally won
Sean :)
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Dear Sean,
No way did you win, flying doesn't count
Alex
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Dear Sean,
Falling face first over the finish line does not mean you win, it means you fell over which by way, was the disqualifying trait of the race. Fall over and you're out. I won.
Hank
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Dear all,
There are no winners, this was a team building exercise. There really was no need to elbow Hank in the face Sean, nor was there any need to burn Sean's suit's wing Alex, and Hank, rugby tackling Sean as he crash landed was certainly not needed! Similarly, Hank if you scratch Alex's face he will burn off a proportion of your fur.
Charles x
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Dear Alex and Sean,
Alex - Sorry for scratching your face.
Sean - Sorry for tackling you when you were already crashing
Hank
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Dear Hank,
Whatever bozo.
Sorry for burning off your fur, and for burning Sean's suit
Alex
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Dear Alex,
Why are you apologising to Hank? Its my suit!
Hank, sorry for the elbow of fury.
Sean :)
P.S - Alex's scar looks BADASS! Hank can you give me one!?
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Dear Sean,
Because I made the suit and I will be the one to have to repair it.
Elbow of fury?
And no, I will not give you any kind of scarring, I feel awful enough as it is
Hank
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Dear Charles,
We've gone out for a bit, will be back by at least the end of the month. Don't worry, we're not going anything illegal or dangerous.
Alex, Hank and Sean :)
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Dear Hank and Sean,
The next time the three of you decide to try to find Logan, please consult me. Cerebro would have made everything much easier. Now we have to try to find Alex, which is considerably less easy given the Goblin Queen's interference.
Charles
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Dear all,
I miss you
Charles x
Dear Charles,
Happy Christmas!
It was nice seeing you and your school again. Can't believe its been almost twelve years now, I bet you'd forgotten about our fridge messages! The kids are looking good too, Maeve can't believe how beautiful Ororo's gotten, and fellow ginger Jean is so different from the little girl we found! Not to mention Scott's almost as tall as me! If only Alex were here to see him, eh? I think he'd have been proud of his little bro. Anyways, Maeve and I are heading out back to Ireland, Tom sent us a message saying there's something we need to see, leave us hanging eh?
See you soon!
Sean :)
Dear Charles,
It was good to see you, professor. The school is looking great. Thirty years, can you believe it? I hope you don't mind, but I went back over the messages from back then, and I'm not ashamed to say I may have cried: never was the same after Alex was it? I spoke with Scott today, you were right, he's nothing like Alex, I feel terrible for avoiding the boy now. Well, I suppose he's a man now isn't he? He's the same age I was when I first met you I believe. It just... I suppose you of all people would understand, but seeing him hurt too much, even though I promised Alex I'd take care of him. I hope he can forgive me, and I hope Alex can too. Thank you for doing this for Scott, even though it should have been me.
I'll be in touch.
Hank
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Dear Charles,
Thank you
Alex
P.S - Hank, I forgive you bozo
The Nexus of All Realities paused for a moment, pen in hand, and scoffed with a one armed shrug. "Eh, why not?"
With a smile, he added a small kiss by his name. Satisfied, he closed his eyes floated back into the void.