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“Aren’t you mad?” Bowser asked.
Luigi shook his head, “N-no! Of course not, I love Mario! I would never want to hurt him!”
“I didn’t ask if you wanted to hurt him, I asked if you were mad.” Bowser pointed out.
“No! I’m not! He’s Mario! I could never be mad!” Luigi sputtered.
“Why not?” Bowser asked, stumped. “I’m mad at him all the time.”
“That’s different!” Luigi cried, “You’re his enemy, I’m his brother! I’m supposed to support him!”
“You can’t support him while you’re mad?” Bowser questioned.
“I’m not mad!” Luigi yelled.
“Why not?” Bowser asked.
“Because it’s wrong!” Luigi exclaimed, “I can’t be mad at him, that would make me a bad brother!”
“A bad brother?” Bowser’s eyebrows shot up his forehead, “Why would that make you a bad brother?”
“Because!” Luigi cried, tears of frustration welling up in his eyes as Bowser didn’t grasp the issue, “If I resented him, then that would taint our relationship! If I looked at him and hated him, what kind of brother would I be?”
“Resent him? I never said that, I asked if you were mad. Why’d you bring up resentment?” Bowser inquired.
Luigi stilled. Bowser hadn’t brought up resentment. Why did Luigi say that? “I-I-” Luigi fumbled.
A look of shock came across Bowser’s face, “Do you resent him?”
“NO!” Luigi shouted, “Of course not! I would never- I couldn’t- I don’t-”
“It would make sense if you did,” Bowser stated, “He outshines you in everything. Everyone loves him while no one remembers you. I would be resentful too.”
“I’m not!” Tears poured out of Luigi’s eyes as his breath hitched, “I don’t- no! I don’t care about that!”
“You don’t care that he doesn’t stand up for you? That he doesn’t notice you off to the sidelines?” Bowser pressed.
Luigi rapidly shook his head, “No! He-He’s Mario, he’s perfect, he deserves it all! I could never resent my brother’s success!”
“But?” Bowser questioned.
Luigi bit his lip, trying to stop the words, but he blurted them out anyway, “But he doesn’t care!”
The room was silent for a moment. Luigi hyperventilated as he finally said the words he had been thinking about for the past decade.
And then Bowser asked, “He doesn’t care about you?”
“No, not that” Luigi instantly replied. He took a breath, trying to steady his raging heartbeat. “He… he doesn’t care about his actions… and the way they affect other people,” Luigi muttered.
Bowser was silent, and so Luigi continued, “It’s like… my whole life I was going along with what he wanted. And anytime I tried to argue I would get shut down. I don’t think he meant to do it, and we were just kids so I don’t blame him, but… Eventually I just learned not to speak up, and he never really noticed…
“I guess that’s natural, I never fought him on anything so he thought I wanted it too. I should have spoken up. I should have grown out of it, but… I was scared,” Luigi huffed, looking at Bowser with a defeated expression. “Who could have guessed, Luigi the Scaredycat. Scared once again.
“But it was hard. Because Mario’s so bold. And unafraid. And shameless. He doesn’t take no for an answer and he always finds another way. That’s how he’s always been. At first when we were kids, and then when we quit Spike’s plumbing agency, and then when we went into the pipe. And suddenly we were in a whole new world. One where Mario’s traits were desirable, instead of condemned.
“But… I liked our world. It wasn’t perfect, but… It was everything we ever knew. It was pizza and pasta. Cars and TV. Mario and Luigi. And when we couldn’t get back… Mario never cared. He never cared! Never cared that our home was gone! Never cared that our family-” Luigi’s breath hitched, “was gone! That we’d never see them again!
“We never got along with our family. Mario and I were the black sheep, but… I still loved them! And I thought Mario did, too. But when we left Earth, he never looked back. Not once. And I searched for a way home. Just in case. But I never told Mario. Because I was afraid that he’d hate me for trying to take away the Mushroom Kingdom. But I never found anything.
“And I’ve never talked to Mario about this, either. Because he never asked. It never occurred to him that maybe I missed home. And anytime I thought to bring it up, I just looked at his face. And there was so much light in his eyes that I never saw in Brooklyn! And I realized that even if I found a way back, I wouldn’t go. Because Mario shines here. He’s a hero! He’s dating a princess! The Mushroom Kingdom brought him the happiness that Earth never could! And here I was, worried about me…” Luigi paused, finished with his story.
The room grew quiet, and then Luigi wailed, “I’m so selfish!”
“Selfish? How is that selfish! You gave up your whole life for Mario, he’s the selfish one!” Bowser blurted.
“But I never told him, how could he have known? I stayed quiet and then got mad at him for not being a mindreader! I’m a bad person!”
“Greenie, you’re the best person I’ve ever met!” Bowser huffed, smoke trailing out of his nostrils. “You’re kind and empathetic. Sickeningly sweet. You’re such a good person that it disgusts me.”
“But I’m-”
“Selfish? That isn’t selfish! You held in your emotions your entire life to spare Mario’s feelings. And then when you blew up, it wasn’t even at him! If it was me, I would have thrown him into a lava pit a long time ago!” Bowser disputed.
“But I shouldn’t be feeling this way!” Luigi argued.
“Why not? It’s just emotions. It’s not like you hurt anyone or something. It’s just in your head.” Bowser pointed out.
“Yeah, but thoughts turn into actions! If I’m capable of these thoughts, then I’m capable of anything.” Luigi spiraled.
Suddenly, Bowser began laughing. It surprised Luigi so much that for a moment he was taken out of his thoughts. Here he was, confessing what he’s able to do and Bowser was laughing at him. Luigi’s blood began to boil and he turned away from Bowser with a huff.
Just when Luigi made to leave, Bowser spoke again. “You're talking about what you’re capable of?” Bowser chuckled, “Greenie, you wouldn’t hurt a fly.”
“But I could.”
“But you wouldn’t.” Bowser said firmly.
“You don’t know that,” Luigi fumed.
“How many times have you fought me?” Bowser asked.
“I don’t know, like a hundred times.” Luigi responded, perplexed at what that had to do with anything.
“And how many of those times did you actually hurt me?” Bowser continued.
Luigi caught on to where he was going, “That’s different. You’re impossible to hurt!”
“Yeah, I am,” Bowser proudly agreed. “But you’ve been in my castle for the past few weeks and haven’t once done anything damaging.”
“Your castle is made out of pure stone! The curtains are fireproof! There’s nothing I could have done!” Luigi insisted.
“The fact that you see those as the only ways to cause damage proves how good of a person you are,” Bowser laughed. Luigi flushed at the patronizing tone. “Luigi, you’ve been playing with my son.”
Luigi paused, before his eyes widened at the implication. “No, I would never-”
“I know.” Bowser assured.
“He’s just a kid!” Luigi exclaimed.
“Exactly, he would be easy to beat. A perfect hostage,” Bowser said.
“I wouldn’t-” Luigi sputtered.
“I know. That’s what I’m saying,” Bowser argued, “You’re too good of a person to do that.”
“I don’t think anyone would do that-” Luigi deflected.
“I would,” Bowser stated. His voice was so cold that it sent chills down Luigi’s spine, “If Mario had a kid, I would have done anything to beat him.”
Luigi paled. He suddenly remembered just who he was talking to. Bowser. The Koopa King. The man who invaded the Mushroom Kingdom dozens of times over, the man who kidnapped his dear friend Peach, the man who had tried to kill both Mario and Luigi countless times. Somehow, Luigi had forgotten that.
“But you wouldn’t,” Bowser continued, “Don’t talk to me about what a bad person is. I know bad, and you are far from it.”
Luigi’s hands shook as Bowser’s voice became normal again. “Oh.” Luigi dumbly replied.
“Any other arguments?” Bowser asked sardonically.
Luigi shook his head. The room became dead silent. And then Bowser broke it with a laugh, “Then let’s go. I’m hungry.”
Luigi followed Bowser out of the room. He replayed their conversation in his head. Somehow, he felt better. Remembering Bowser and his malevolence shook Luigi out of his uneasiness. He certainly wasn’t a bad person like that. Maybe, with a world full of supervillain-like evil, it was okay to be a little selfish. Once in a while.