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Tommy had been raised under the guise of Church Prime. He was a religious kid, he wore his religious symbol around his neck, the weight reminding him of his morals, he prayed every day, once in the morning, once before bed. Prime was a big part of his life. He had always known the way of Church Prime.
~~~
Purpled was a raging atheist, he regularly debated in religious studies class, he was a science enjoyer. He found religion to be something he couldn't find himself putting his faith in. Why devote your life to an all holy deity that has not been proved to exist? Why let a book determine your morals? Determine what you should think is good or bad?
In no way was he disrespectful of people who were religious, that was their choice, and as long as they weren't hurting people, or shoving their beliefs down other people's throats he was happy to let them be.
In school Purpled knew Tommy as the shy religious kid. Tommy didn't have many or possibly any friends, he sat alone in the cafeteria. Purpled would occasionally find his eyes drifting over to the blonde before Walli would say his name and his attention snapped back to the conversation. So when Purpled saw Tommy duck into the bathroom in between lessons he let his interests take over and followed him.
~~~
Tommy was fucked, he was absolutely fucked.
He liked a boy. He wasn't meant to. It was sinful. Church Prime spoke against this.
Worst of all he didn't just like a boy. The boy he liked was the exact opposite of Tommy.
Purpled.
Purpled was a confident guy, he played football, he had cool dyed hair, purple streaks that complimented his purple eyes. He smiled all of the time, when his friends were talking to him, when he got a question right in class. When he looked at Tommy.
Why did he smile when he looked at him? That smile that reached his eyes, the smile that made Tommy's stomach flip, made him question everything.
Fuck, he couldn't do this.
It only got worse when he ducked into the bathroom on the way to lesson, desperate for a minute of peace only to hear the door open behind him.
Trying to stifle sobs never worked very well.
~~~
Tommy was crying.
He was trying to stifle it but Purpled could hear him. Part of him ached.
"Hey, dude, you alright?"
Silence.
"I'm not judging you or anything, do I need to get the nurse or counsellor or something?" Purpled asked.
"I'm fine" Tommy sniffed.
"Um okay, if you need help though, you can talk to me" Purpled stuttered.
He left the bathroom and headed to class. Biology to be specific. There was a new seating layout, that was unexpected. His detour to the bathroom made it so that there was only two seats left. At least the other was empty. He took a seat dropping his stuff onto the empty seat, the teacher started up the class.
Two minutes later Tommy walked in, he scanned the room before noticing the seat empty next to Purpled. Purpled cleared his stuff from the seat.
Tommy looked scared out of his mind to be approaching Purpled.
Purpled wanted to change that, something in him felt awful about it and wanted to make Tommy feel better.
"Hey," Purpled said when Tommy took his seat.
"Um hi," Tommy replied.
"Are you any good at biology?" Purpled asked.
"Not really, I-" he cut himself off.
"Neither am I, so we're screwed for this term,"
"Oh," Tommy shrugged.
Purpled moved his focus back to the teacher trying to forget about the boy sat next to him.
~~~
Why did he have to have a new seating arrangement? Why did he have to sit next to Purpled of all people? And why when he sat down did he start making small talk? Bad small talk at that.
Tommy tried to pay attention to the teacher but he couldn't, he was inches away from Purpled. He tried to steady his breath, why was he like this? Why couldn't he be the perfect kid? Straight A's, friends, a girlfriend they all seemed so far out of reach. Why did liking Purpled a boy make everything seem so right? Why when he fantasised about holding his hand in the hallway or kissing him in secret did it all make sense?
Maybe Prime was wrong?
No.
That couldn't be possible.
Could it?
~~~
Tommy was awkwardly quiet the entire class. Purpled wanted to break through that, somehow it had become his mission to understand Tommy. The bell rang, by the time Purpled had packed his bags Tommy was gone.
He couldn't help but think of Tommy that night. What was so intriguing about him?
Was it that he was religious? Was it his blonde hair and striking eyes?
His eyes?
Why was Purpled thinking about his eyes?
The next day came around and Purpled sought out Tommy again. Making an effort to talk to him in the hallway.
"Why are you trying to talk to me?" Tommy snapped.
"I don't know man, I'm just interested," Purpled replied.
"Sure," Tommy shrugged Purpled off.
"I just though that you might want to be friends," Purpled suggested.
"I doubt that you want to be friends with me," Tommy chuckled.
"Here" Purpled grabbed Tommy's hand.
Tommy tried to pull away, Purpled didn't let him, he instead pulled out a pen and scribbled onto Tommy's hand. Tommy looked at it. Purpled had written his number down.
"Text me, if you won't talk to me,"
"Okay?"
"Good, text you later," Purpled waved, heading over to to his friends.
"Why are you trying to befriend him?" Walli asked.
"I don't know, he just seems interesting," Purpled replied not letting his eyes drift from Tommy.
"Coach is introducing a new tactic in practice tonight, he thinks-" Walli started.
~~~
Purpled's number was on his hand. In purple sparkly gel pen. It was ridiculous, he tried to rub it off but it wouldn't budge. The entire day the purple sparkles caught his eye when he was writing, eating lunch and when he was putting the number in his phone. He scrubbed his hand red raw in the bathroom before heading home.
"How was school?" his father asked.
"It was fine, I have homework to do," Tommy replied, his head down, he stared at the laces on his shoes, one of them was coming undone.
"Look at me when you talk to me," his father snapped.
"I'm sorry," Tommy replied making eye contact with his father.
"Good, now go and do your homework, education is important,"
"Of course,"
Tommy darted up to his bedroom, only when his door was shut did he pull out his phone.
Tommy: hey, it's Tommy
The response was fast
Purpled: i was wondering if you were ignoring me
Tommy: no i just didn't get the chance to add your number to my phone
Purpled: don't worry about it
how was your ride home
Tommy: good, how did you know i ride a bike
Purpled: i pay attention
i also notice the prime symbol
you're religious aren't you?
Tommy: yes, why do you ask?
Purpled: you can believe in that stuff but are you homophobic?
Tommy watched the cursor flicker on the text box. Was he? He didn't want to be, but everything he'd been taught told him it was wrong. But he liked Purpled. He liked boys. How was he meant to be confident in that if he was homophobic?
Purpled: um, Tommy?
Tommy: sorry, my dad called for me
no i'm not homophobic
Purpled: good, i have gay friends and wouldn't be friends with someone if they would hate on them for loving who they love
Tommy: you aren't religious are you
Purpled: no, i'm an atheist
i argue against religion as a concept but i'm fine with people being religious
i respect it and shit
Tommy: oh, okay
Atheist's were interesting to Tommy. He'd been taught that they were sinners. Prime was an all seeing and all knowing being. Prime would know if you worshipped him, if you crossed him. Was Tommy crossing him? Talking with an atheist. Crushing on an atheist. Saying he wasn't homophobic.
But Tommy wasn't homophobic. Yes his father had told him it was wrong but he'd never felt disgusted by it. It was just love after all, there isn't anything wrong with love. His phone buzzed bringing him out of his thoughts.
Purpled: you still there?
Tommy: yeah, sorry
Purpled: you apologise a lot
Tommy: better to be sorry than rude
Purpled: that something they teach you in church?
Tommy: to be respectful, yes
Purpled: what else do they teach?
Tommy: about Prime, mainly morals
Purpled: surely you can decide your own morals
Tommy: i suppose i do on occasion
Purpled: that's good
Tommy types 'is it?' before immediately backspacing and deleting the text.
Purpled: what were you going to say?
Tommy: nothing important
Purpled: surely it had to be of some importance
Tommy didn't reply. It was important, it was his faith that he'd grown up with. The thing that he had known his whole life and it had provided some sort of meaning in his life, a moral compass too. But his moral compass was currently spinning uncontrollably. Was church Prime everything to him anymore, was it even right? Surely it is otherwise why would so many people follow it.
His religious questioning ultimately ended up with the book of Prime in front of him and he was dissecting every statement, every verse telling him what to do, how to exist and what to believe. His father was pleased to see him focusing so hard on his religion when he came to get him for dinner. But guilt was eating Tommy up from inside as he found himself disagreeing with everything he'd been taught.
~~~
Purpled felt like he was finally understanding Tommy. Maybe he wasn't a complete religious devotee, maybe there was some sort of lenience that Purpled could use to get in to see the real Tommy. It was nice talking to him, hopefully their future conversations would actually revolve around interests instead of beliefs next time they texted or spoke.
Everyday Purpled felt like he was making progress with Tommy. Chatting to him through Biology class he found that they had a couple shared interests, mainly video games. That's kind of where their conversations buffered and Purpled would have to try random topics. By the end of their Friday Biology lesson two weeks into getting to know Tommy did Purpled felt better about his newfound relationship with Tommy. He had gym left that day, last lesson of the day and week. He'd been oblivious all year to the fact that Tommy was also in his gym class.
"Hey, I didn't realise you were in this class," Purpled said at the end of class.
People were starting to leave the locker room at this point.
"Yeah, well I don't really like gym," Tommy stumbled over his words.
"Hmm, I do I suppose," Purpled chuckled.
"That doesn't surprise me, you are on the football team," Tommy smiled, loosening up to the conversation slightly.
"You've watched a game?" Purpled raised his eyebrows, he'd never pictured Tommy to be a football game watcher. The idea that he could've been watching made Purpled's heart flutter.
"Occasionally, you are good,"
"Thanks, maybe I'll start looking for you in the crowds," Purpled added with a smirk.
The locker room was empty at this point but Purpled didn't care, he had a car and drove himself home, Tommy rode a bike home.
"Surely you have like a girlfriend or someone to look for instead?" Tommy replied.
"Nah, I've never really been interested in girls all too much," Purpled shrugged, he never really got the girl craze that his other friends got, maybe he's more mature then them or something
"What about you Tommy?" He asked cautiously.
"Um, I'm not really into girls," Tommy replied slowly.
"Oh, is it a religious thing,"
"Something like that," Tommy nodded.
The lights shut off as he finished speaking.
Purpled frowned and made his way over to the door, he tried the handle, locked. Great.
"It's locked," he announced.
"Oh, that's not great," Tommy stated.
"Yeah, I'll text my dad, see if he can tell the school or something," Purpled reasoned.
"My dad's going to kill me," Tommy ran his hands through his hair before clutching his necklace.
"It's not your fault,"
"But he'll blame me anyway," Tommy sank onto the floor his back pressed against the lockers.
Purpled took a seat next to him.
"At least-" he trailed off.
"What?"
"No, it was rude," Purpled shook his head.
"But now I'm interested," Tommy whined a slightly playful side coming forward.
"At least it's me you're stuck in here with and not someone else,"
"I'm glad it's you as well," Tommy admitted "You are weirdly nice to me,"
"I think I'm just normal to you, you're just used to people being mean,"
"Well that makes it not normal if the usual is people being mean," Tommy smiled.
"Sure it is,"
Silence tailed his sentence.
"So, how long do you reckon we'll be stuck here?" Tommy asked.
"Well my dad won't see that message for a while," Purpled looked at his phone before smiling at a message.
"What made you smile?"
"My friends, Hannah and Tina, they're dating," Purpled tilted the phone so Tommy could see.
~~~
Tommy was obviously freaking out internally about being locked in a locker room with Purpled. He was even more freaked out when Purpled was willingly showing him his phone.
Two girls filled the screen, the one with brown curly hair kissing the other girl on the cheek. The other girl was blushing furiously but was smiling hard.
"They look happy," Tommy commented, he could be happy like them but he isn't, he doesn't find confidence in his identity instead he is full of self doubt and self hate.
"They are," Purpled nodded.
"I'm gay," Tommy said before his brain could catch up "Prime, I shouldn't have told you that,"
Tommy's mind was racing in panic.
~~~
Tommy the religious kid, he just came out to Purpled. And Purpled didn't know what to say. He hadn't expected it, it seemed like Tommy hadn't expected to say it either.
"That's okay you know,"
"But it's not, my dad, Church Prime, being gay it's a sin,"
"You don't believe that though," Purpled frowned.
"No, but that's my religion I can't abandon it because I like a boy," Tommy ranted.
A boy.
Who?
"You don't need to rely on a religion to guide your moral compass y'know," Purpled said "Loads of religious people don't,"
"But, I still follow Prime, I believe in him, I can't throw my beliefs out of the window because I like a boy," Tommy rested his head in his hands.
"Follow what you believe then," Purpled said "These religions, they've existed for so long, they've been rewritten over and over, I'm sure something has been changed so believe what you want,"
"That's not it though," Tommy shook his head.
"Then what is the problem?"
"I can't tell you,"
"Why not?" Purpled frowned.
"I just can't, okay, I just can't,"
"I'm not going to judge you, whatever it is I won't judge you," Purpled affirmed.
"But you will,"
"I won't trust me, I'm not gonna be that kind of person,"
"Stop, just stop" Tommy raked his fingers through his hair before they fell to fiddle with his Prime necklace pulling it up like he was going to take it off.
"Why? Who else are you going to tell Tommy, you can't-"
Purpled was cut off by Tommy kissing him.
Tommy kissing him.
And he liked it. There was a warmth to it that made him want to kiss back but before he could think further Tommy pulled away and there was a ghost of a smile on his lips.
Why?
"It's you I like, you're the boy," Tommy said, slipping his necklace back on.
The door to the locker room clicked open and the janitor began to talk, Tommy replied, Purpled gathered his stuff in a haze. Tommy looked lighter. Purpled felt like he had taken that weight on himself.
He hadn't expected Tommy to kiss him. He definitely hadn't expected to like it. Did that make him gay?
No, maybe he just likes the act of kissing. It didn't have to be with a boy or Tommy.
~~~
Tommy left the locker room with clarity. He could still follow Prime, he could follow the parts he wanted to. He could be in love with a boy and could still follow his already conceived morals. He just had to get over the obstacle that was his father. But that couldn't be too hard, surely.
~~~
The drive home left Purpled spiralling. He was trying to convince himself out of that spiral anyway. He was going to a party tonight, boys kissed girls at parties all the time. The alcohol would give him confidence, he could figure it out.
He met up with his friends at Walli's to pre-drink before the party. It was all going well, he was a couple drinks deep and was feeling the buzz that brought confidence with it. Tina was designated driver so took them all over to the house the party was at, it was a long drive, the alcohol wearing off already. The room was dark, mood lighting, crammed people and flowing drinks, the perfect setting for a Friday night.
As usual in party settings people looked for other people. This party did cup codes. Red for taken, yellow for it's complicated and green for available. Purpled picked green, in reality he should've picked yellow but he was trying not to think about that. He filled the cup up with soda and began to sober up a bit. Still, it wasn't long before he was dancing with some girl. Then he was kissing her and it didn't feel like Tommy. It didn't ignite the same sort of warmth. He parted from her only to have Walli sling an arm over his shoulder.
"Caught you having fun," Walli teased, phone in hand.
"That better not go up anywhere," Purpled threatened, he didn't want Tommy to see it and get the wrong message.
He cared about that now. He realised that he also liked a boy and the boy was Tommy.
"Too late," Walli smirked running off before Purpled could stop him.
Fuck.
~~~
Tommy was laying on his bed scrolling through Instagram, then a video came up. Purpled at a party kissing a girl.
The kiss they shared had meant nothing. The kiss Purpled had leaned into and had clearly enjoyed from the smile he left it with. Tommy hadn't overthought it for once and this time he should have.
He was filled with some sort of rage and emptiness, if he couldn't have Purpled, what could he have?
He stood up and paced around his room, the pace picking up with rage. Steps approached his door and it slammed open.
"Stop with the pacing," his father seethed.
"I'm upset," Tommy responded.
"There is no need to stamp around like an elephant," his father responded "What are you even upset about?"
He couldn't say a boy.
"Religion,"
Fuck that wasn't meant to be the answer, well maybe it was time to be honest.
"I don't believe in some of the teachings,"
He could see his fathers rage build.
"What teachings?"
"About homosexuality," Tommy stated.
"You are one of them aren't you," his father started "One of those queers,"
"So what if I am?"
"Then you are no son of mine!" his father yelled.
"I kissed a boy today, and I loved it!" Tommy yelled back in angry retaliation.
"Get out of my house!" his father continued.
"Fuck you, you don't get to dictate my life!" Tommy cursed.
"Pack your shit and leave, I do not want to look at your sinning face again do you here me?"
"Loud and crystal fucking clear," Tommy responded.
Tommy packed his stuff, he packed his stuff and left with nowhere to go. Left into the rain that had started fall. He didn't have Purpled, he didn't have a house to go back to. He checked his phone prepared to search for a hotline he could use to get him safe fro the night, but saw a message from Purpled.
Purpled: i need to talk to you
Tommy: we do need to talk
Purpled: meet me in the park
Tommy: see you in ten
Tommy waited in the park, rain soaking through his clothes. The coolness of the metal from his necklace burned his palm as he held it tight, the chain hanging down, rain dripping from it. He was waiting Purpled out despite the fact that he currently wasn't happy with the other boy. He waited until he saw Purpled's car pull up on the outskirts of the park, he waited as Purpled made his way over a shitty pop up umbrella in his hand.
"Tommy, I'm sorry,"
"I don't want to hear it,
"I just wanted-"
"I said I don't want to hear it Purpled, I took a risk kissing you," he gestured to the bag on his shoulder and the one by his feet.
"What happened?"
"I argued with my dad, I came out, he kicked me out," Tommy let out an exasperated sigh, he was crying, the hot tears contrasting the cold rain.
"I'm sorry," Purpled said sheepishly.
"Sure you are, you don't have to worry about that stuff,"
~~~
Worry about that stuff, it turns out he does, what did Tommy think?
"What do you mean?" he asked, practically shouting to be heard over the rain.
"You- you kissing that girl, I saw the video,"
"I wanted to talk to you about that, that's why we are here,"
"What to tell me you don't want anything to do with me anymore?" Tommy choked out.
"No, of course not," Purpled shook his head, his brows furrowing in question and concern.
"You know, I thought you might've liked me back, but of course you didn't, you go to this party and-"
Purpled didn't know how else to get through to Tommy so he kissed him. Dropping the umbrella letting the rain soak him as he cupped Tommy's jaw and left a long, soft kiss on his lips.
"I-" Tommy was speechless.
"I like you back Tommy, I was stupid about it all, I thought I didn't like you so kissed some girl at a party but it was you that made kissing feel so good, I'm sorry," Purpled rambled.
Tommy practically dove into Purpled causing him to stumble back, embracing Purpled in a hug before immediately breaking down into sobs.
"Hey, hey, it's okay,"
"It's not, I don't have any place to go," Tommy sobbed clinging onto Purpled.
Purpled only hugged him tighter.
"Let's go to my car, its freezing in the rain," Purpled offered.
He pulled away from the hug and grasped Tommy's hand as the walked to Purpled's car. Purpled threw Tommy's stuff into the backseat, they both sat in the car soaked through from the rain.
"What am I meant to do?"
"Stay at my house," Purpled said.
"I have never met your parents, I don't think they are going to take kindly to that idea," Tommy rambled, he fidgeted with his Prime necklace.
"My dad will be fine with it," Purpled said.
"Can you at least call him before we show up at your house?"
"If that makes you feel better,"
Purpled pulled out his phone entering contacts and finding his dad's contact. Quackity was a strange father figure for Purpled, he'd adopted Purpled but wasn't massively older than him, but Purpled referred to him as his dad otherwise people got confused, but he more often than not called him Q. The person that kept his life on track and gave him support when he needed it.
The phone rang once before it was picked up.
"Do you need picking up from the party?" Quackity sighed.
"No, I left early,"
"Are you sober enough to be driving? I can't be dealing with another DUI,"
"I have never got a DUI thank you very much," Purpled sighed.
"So what is it?"
"I'm bringing someone home,"
"Ooh who?" Purpled could hear the smile in Quackity's tone.
"My boyfriend I guess,"
"You guess?"
"Well we haven't labelled it yet,"
Tommy suppressed a laugh from the passenger seat.
"If you've argued about your relationship then you are dating,"
"Well, my boyfriend then, he got kicked out of his house, can he stay with us?"
"Sure, in the guest room, not in your room, and if he is in your room the door stays open," Q warned.
"See you in fifteen,"
"Drive safe,"
"I will," Purpled hung up.
He started up the car to get going.
"Your dad sounds young,"
"He adopted me, he isn't massively older than me," Purpled said.
"Oh, I didn't know you were adopted,"
"Not many people do but Q's like a father figure for me, that's all I need,"
"That's great then,"
"It is," Purpled agreed.
~~~
Purpled's house was nice, nicer than Tommy's. It felt warm and safe.
"I'm home, and I brought Tommy," Purpled called into the house as he shut the door behind him.
"Let me see this boyfriend of yours then," Quackity said, the voice came from back in the house.
When Quackity emerged Tommy was somewhat surprised about how he looked. Dark hair covered by a beanie, tan scan, a scar stretching over his face, casual clothing and a Prime symbol hanging over his chest.
"Hi," Tommy said, now feeling the weight of his necklace sat in his pocket.
His necklace that matched Quackity's the one he felt insecure about.
"Hey kid, you look freezing, in fact you both do," Quackity said "You idiots need a warm shower and a change of clothes, have either of you eaten?"
"Q , you fed me before I left,"
"That was four hours ago, I'll make food, Tommy you like enchiladas?"
"Sounds good," Tommy nodded.
Quackity patted Purpled on the head before heading back into the house.
"Come on," Purpled gestured as they boy made his way upstairs.
Tommy followed.
"Guest bed and bath," Purpled added, as he opened a door wide.
"Quackity, he's religious," Tommy stated.
"Kind of, his parents were, he isn't a massive believer any more," Purpled said.
"Oh,"
"You should talk with him about it," Purpled said.
"You're okay with me being religious right?"
"As long as you don't let it dictate your morals, and get in the way of us"
"It doesn't," Tommy nodded, he wasn't sure of it before he met Purpled but now he was.
"I think we'll be all good then," Purpled left the hallway into presumably his own room.
Tommy headed into the guest room, he dumped his stuff before realising it was all damp from the rain. He headed to the door he saw Purpled head into. He knocked.
"You can come in,"
Purpled was shirtless, that was fine, totally fine, he wasn't distracted at all.
"My clothes are damp from the rain could I have stuff to change into?"
"Sure," Purpled rummaged through his closet "You should ask Q to clean them for you, is a hoodie and sweatpants fine?"
"Um, yeah" Tommy stumbled over his words, distracted by his shirtless boyfriend.
Boyfriend, that was nice to say.
"Here," Purpled pressed the clothes into Tommy's arms, smiled before pressing a kiss to Tommy's cheek "You're cute when you're flustered,"
Tommy's cheeks flushed redder if that was even possible. He headed back to the guest room and enjoyed a hot shower, the smell of Purpled's clothes on his body and the comforting weight of the necklace resting on his chest. Later he joined Purpled and Quackity for the best enchiladas he had ever had then went to bed in the guest room before later sneaking into Purpled's. He fell asleep feeling safe for once. Safe away from his father, safe under Prime's protection and safe in the arms of his boyfriend.