Chapter Text
Akito entered the Crase Café, his chest tight. He'd come to a realization that he wasn't sure he wanted to think about, and this was a good place to stew in it without having to think too hard or be bothered.
"Good evening, Akito," Meiko greeted without hardly glancing up.
He hummed quietly, claiming his spot by the window.
Meiko raised her eyes at that, tilting her head. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah."
"No, it's not," Miku butted in, abruptly claiming a seat across from him. "Tell us what's wrong."
He scoffed. Or maybe he would be bothered. "How can you even tell that anything's changed?"
"You didn't respond." Meiko crossed from behind the counter and to the table.
"I did."
"No, you- That doesn't matter, actually." As she scanned Akito's face, Miku leaned forward. "What's wrong?"
It was more of a demand than a question. Uncomfortable, Akito shifted and looked out the window. "It's nothing important. Come on, quit interrogating me."
"You don't have to tell us anything. But we don't wanna leave you alone if something's wrong," Miku replied.
"Agreed. If it's too heavy, you can come to us, remember?"
Akito held his silence for a moment, tensely staring out the window, before sighing. "Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's really dumb, though."
"Nothing that weighs you down is 'dumb'."
He met eyes with the pair. Miku's eyes were full of sharp and almost scrutinizing concern, as if she wanted to dig up, fix, and then re-bury what he was worried about with a shovel but wasn't actually going to pry. Conversely, Meiko watched him with care, her warm brown eyes smiling invitingly.
"Well..."
"Hi, Akito!" A bright, boyish voice cut him off as someone slid into the chair beside him. "Oh, did I interrupt something...? Sorry!"
Akito glanced at the new addition to the conversation- Len- and realized that the rest of the Virtual Singers were now in the room.
"Just you, Akito? Boring," Luka joked. "Oh, are we prying gossip out of him? Can I join?"
Miku hushed them as they crowded the table. Great. Akito was already worried about talking about this, but now everyone was here to listen in.
"What's wrong, Akito?" Rin asked in a small, sweet tone, leaning against the table beside Len.
Akito chuckled nervously. "You're the third person to ask that in about five minutes."
"So something *is* wrong," Len exclaimed, followed by Rin nodding.
"All of us being here doesn't change anything. You can still talk about whatever it is." Kaito basically leaned over Akito by standing behind his chair.
"Maybe don't loom over him like a creep," Miku teased, elbowing him in the side.
Running a hand through his hair, Akito sighed nervously. "I... Don't know. It's just..."
He looked around. Everyone was watching him with slight concern and curiosity etching their features.
"It's nothing crazy or important, okay? Don't be so worried. Stop staring at me like that, too, it's freaking me the hell out."
"Do you like someone?" Rin asked, completely deadpan.
Akito blinked a few times, first stunned, then flustered as his ears heated up. "I-"
Luka giggled. "That's what I was thinking. I would ask if it was true, but you're already red as a tomato, so..."
"I am not!" Akito snapped.
"Don't worry, Akito, it's normal for people your age," Meiko teased, gaining a spiteful glare from Akito.
Grinning excitedly, Len rocked forward in his seat. "Who?"
"One of the girls in your class? Or..." Rin tapped her chin, her topaz colored nails catching the light ever so slightly. "Maybe An or Kohane? They're nice."
"Maybe a girl from a different class! Or-"
Kaito laughed and ruffled Rin's and Len's hair. "Calm it down, let him tell us."
They went quiet and expectantly watched Akito. "So... Who?" Miku asked.
Akito stared down at the table, fidgeting with his hands. "Um..."
Luka smiled softly. "Don't be embarrassed, Akito. Seriously. We're just curious which girl-"
"It's not a girl," Akito blurted out.
"Oh, okay! So, it *is* a boy," Luka casually said as if she expected it, her smile unwavering.
"...You're not going to call me gross or anything?"
"What? No, of course not!" She furrowed her brow.
Akito raised his eyes to look at the others. None of them seemed disgusted, like he thought they would. That was unexpected, to say the least.
"Akito," Meiko said, putting a hand on Akito's, "We don't see you any differently. I know it's not like that outside the Sekai, but it's normal here."
Len nodded. "I was about to ask if you liked a boy from your class. I was right!"
He heaved a relieved sigh, feeling his heart clench. They were so accepting, even unintentionally, it almost made him emotional. It was always a 50/50 chance outside of the Sekai. He could never know who he could trust. That was why he never mentioned anything of the sort. In fact, that's why he also was one of the people who wasn't very open-minded. "Right."
"Soooo..." Rin leaned forward, trying to coax it out of him. "Who?"
"I think I know," Kaito teased, gaining a similar glare from Akito that was just given to Meiko. "I'm just saying!"
"Go ahead and just say it. There's no more chains, right?" Miku mentioned. "Unless any of these guys spit out guesses before you can."
Akito nodded. He could just say it. He still felt embarrassed, but...
"Toya," he muttered, sinking so far into his chair that he could barely see over the top of it. His sweatshirt lifted over his lips- he wished it covered his whole face.
"I knew it!" Len and Rin cheered in sync, high fiving.
Akito heard Kaito chuckle behind him. "I also knew it."
He shot up so quickly, stunned, that he smacked his head on the back of the chair. With a quiet curse, he threw his hands out, causing Len and Rin to recoil. "What, did fucking everyone have the same guess?"
"Yes," Meiko admitted, stifling a laugh.
"Why were you guys even asking, then?" He put his head down like a child who just got scolded.
With a small giggle, Miku smirked at him. "Oh, we just wanted to hear it from your mouth. So, why's that such a problem?"
"I mean, you know how some people are about..." He vaguely gestured his hand, growing uncomfortable. After all, he had been a bit like the aforementioned "some people". He still is now. It was weird to talk or even think about being with another guy. Sure, he wouldn't openly hate on people who would, but he always turned his eyes away with internal malice because of social normalities. Now, he felt his skin crawling for even considering himself to be like... That.
Rin scoffed. "People are weird."
Akito nodded, nervously cradling his arms near his body. It was so odd to be talking about this openly. "Yeah."
"So you're worried that he'll think of you differently? Or that it'll mess things up?" Kaito asked.
"Both of those. I don't want to ruin anything with him. He's the closest friend I've ever had, and if I fuck it up, well... I just don't know. This is weird. It's hard to even think about." He shrugged.
Meiko hummed, a sad smile on her face. "You're in quite the predicament. It's really upsetting that you have to be afraid. Toya doesn't seem like the type to think differently of you, though, in my opinion."
"Yeah! I don't think he'd quit being friends with someone because of something so simple," Len exclaimed. "You wouldn't, would you? So why would he?" He was rocking backwards in his chair, lightly grasping the edge of the table for safety. The way he was so casual about this was confusing Akito. How did he do it?
"Maybe you're right," Akito muttered, fidgeting with his hands.
"I suppose you could keep it to yourself and never talk to him about it. But..." Luka shrugged, twirling her hair in thought. "What would that save?"
"My dignity," he said pitifully. "My reputation."
Sighing, Meiko smiled at Akito. "Oh, Akito. How about I get you a drink and you think about it? We can always drop little hints to Toya if you want some help, too."
"Whatever. Just don't tell him. Or the others, please."
The group nodded and began to disperse, with Rin and Len grabbing some drinks heading outside to practice and Luka having a conversation with Kaito by the counter. Meiko began to prepare Akito's usual drink order-- extremely sweet hot chocolate, since he hated coffee-- and Miku stayed at the table with him.
"So, why exactly are you so freaked out about possibly liking him?" She absentmindedly asked, draping her arms over the table as she picked at her nails.
"Two people of the same gender liking each other is gross," he said, almost robotically. As if he'd said it many times to himself before. "I mean, um-At least, that's what a lot of people say..."
"Do you think that?"
"Um. Sort of? That's what I was taught as a kid. It was kinda beaten into my head."
Suddenly materializing a nail file from her pocket and touching up her brightly painted nails, she nodded. "Ah. So you think that way about yourself too, yeah?"
"...Mm."
"Is that a yes?"
"I mean... I just feel... Dirty? Wrong, I guess? My skin just crawls whenever I even think about it." He dragged his hands up his arms, creating a path up to his biceps and digging his nails into the fabric around his arms. "It's not supposed to be that way for someone like me."
"What do you mean by 'someone like you'? Like, is it a rule for you specifically or something?" She scoffed. "Sounds like a prison."
"Nothing that bad," he said, chuckling. "It's just a really high expectation. I've always been normal."
"Who says you have to be? Normal doesn't exist, dude."
Shamefully, his eyes fell to the table. His parents? His classmates? Society itself? "It feels like everyone does."
Miku shook her head. "I think you're the one saying it. Sure, standards factor into it, but you're the one who is truly telling *yourself*." She went back to filing her nails, her voice turning passive again. "Of course, it's probably not that easy. Not that I'd know."
He stirred the hot chocolate with a spoon, watching the mini marshmallows swirl around. "You're probably right."
"You aren't a freak or anything if you really do like him, by the way. I hope you know that. It really sucks that you have to think that."
"I guess."
Akito gave a half-hearted shrug before falling silent. He knew Miku meant well, but for whatever reason, it made him feel worse. It's because although he knew she was right, he struggled to believe it.
Maybe he could build up the courage to say something to Toya. One day. But it would probably be a while.
At least he found people that supported him endlessly, even if none of this was true.
And knowing Meiko, she would likely talk to Toya about it in a decently clandestine way. But *also* knowing Meiko, she would make him deal with it himself. Figures.