Archive of Our Own

“With lots of love, Jude.”

The wedding was a blast in Sharpness' heart– getting married to your high-school sweetheart with all of your friends with you side by side is truly a blessing. With his best friend, Jude, as his best man, blowing the reception with a heartfelt message at the end— Sharpness could not have possibly asked for more in this life.

But things took a turn, Sharpness could not find Jude after his speech, like at all.

Something about how Parker was looking at Jude the entire reception felt off– he had this concerned look, his eyes wandering all over the purple-haired man all jittery. Especially when Jude disappeared right after their kiss, followed by Parker running off into the restroom, Cow trailing behind him. Godis and Bitzel weren't any better, exchanging weird looks to each other throughout his entire speech with what looks like pity– Sharpness however couldn't put a finger on it.

As Jude was still presumed missing, alarms were practically ringing in his head– but the blonde dismissed it as a work emergency or something like that.

Being an engineer must be tiring, he supposed.

Sharpness’ and Saparata’s wedding cake arrived, sitting right in the middle of the couple’s table. A two layered buttercake covered in icing and fondant, littered in edible decoration flowers and pearls– something Saparata had always dreamt of as his wedding cake.

Just right as they were about to cut it, Sharpness couldn't help but wonder if Jude had returned or not– but his best friend was still nowhere to be seen.

With an uneasy feeling in his gut, Sharpness turns to look at Saparata– who seems like he had the same idea in mind, his newly wed husband looking around the room, fingers tapping against the table. “Sharp… where's– where's Jude? I haven't seen him around in a while..” the white-haired man whispered, trying not to alarm anyone else.

Sharpness shrugs, “No clue, he would've told us something but I haven't heard a peep of him since…”

Saparata tilts his head upwards to face Sharpness, his eyebrows furrowed. Clearly the two of them were at a loss here, their best friend missing at their own wedding– something doesn't seem right.

But they both swallowed their worries, Jude was the type of person to inform them eventually.

Holding their cake knife together, Sharpness and Saparata cut their wedding cake. Cheers broke out once again as people lined up to grab a slice, the blonde was sure to save a slice for Jude.

Even during the after party, there was still no sign of Jude. Crowds broke out on the dance floor, everyone was enjoying themselves– Parker eventually returned to the reception as well, but he looked lost, like he was finding something. Cow would linger around the man, patting his shoulder and whispering something into his ear. Sharpness and Saparata just stared at the two, something was incredibly wrong and they both felt it in their veins.

Sharpness holds his husband's hand, reassuring him with a smile– but whatever could they do? He tried to call Jude, but his phone went to voicemail immediately.

Maybe he had “do not disturb” turned on?

He tucked his phone back into the inner pocket of his blazer, he's sure to find Jude eventually. Saparata massaged his trapezius, thumbs circling them in circles with pressure. “Hey, it's gonna be alright. I'm sure he'll pop out eventually.”

“I hope so… The last time he went missing without a trace–” Sharpness winces at the memory, their high-school prom– after finding out that Jude had mysteriously disappeared according to Parker and Cow, who were beyond panicked out of their minds when they approached Sharpness and Saparata that night, asking the couple if they had seen him or not. Naturally after not seeing a wink of him the entire night, Sharpness knew something was wrong– they started a wild goose chase, going around and asking if anyone had seen him. After dozens of queries, Dolphin was the one who told them that she had spotted him walking out of the school, so they assumed that he had returned home– but Sharpness knew Jude, he had a hunch that he hadn't. The following morning, the blonde took the initiative to pay Jude a visit to his house– surprise, surprise when his darling mother answered the door, only to tell him that Jude had not returned that night– she assumed he was with Sharpness.

With that, he immediately called everyone to tell them that Jude was still missing. Parker and Cow drove around the block trying to find him, Sharpness and Saparata went to familiar spots– the diner, shops nearby the school, the local cafe– only to land at the one place Sharpness expected him to be at, the skatepark. Apparently Parker seemed to have the same idea because they had arrived at the same time, immediately running around the park as if they were back as kids playing, seeking out the last hider in their game. Sharpness soon spotted a recognisable abundance of purple hair, resting against a familiar large oak tree– Jude was napping against it, still in his prom clothes.

Saparata seemed to immediately understand his husband, a pensive expression on his face. “I know, but we did find him eventually, did we not?”

Sharpness leans into his touch, a hand over Saparata's behind his back. “Yeah.. Yeah, you're right.” He bites his lower lip, “We'll find him eventually.”

Saparata pats his shoulders, giving him a kiss on the crown of his head. “Atta boy, there's no need to worry so much. It's our wedding day, I'm sure Jude doesn't mean to cause us anxiety on our special day, he's a part of it too.” He chuckled, voice low.

Sharpness’ lips instantly curled up into a small smile, Saparata just knows how to ease his worries– they practically were meant for each other. “Mmmm, yeah… Let’s go have some cake, shall we?”

Saparata nods and takes his hand into his own, dragging Sharpness towards the delicious delicacies.

‿̩͙⊱༻☂︎༺⊰‿̩͙

Evening came around, Sharpness and Saparata were sent off to their honeymoon suite in a resort by a car they rented, a white convertible which matched the colours of Saparata– which means that leaves the groomsmen and family of the newly wed to tidy up the venue. Everyone separated according to task, Saparata’s groomsmen were set to clean his room and vice versa for Sharpness’.

Sharpness’ groomsmen consisted of Twirps, Flow, and Cow– the first two ended up in the room, Cow was nowhere to be seen for a while. They did try finding him, but eventually decided to do their task and he’ll probably pop around in a bit. They sat on the bed and started with packing up their clothes from last night, neatly folding them aside into a luggage. “Hey Flow, do you know where Cow actually is?” Twrips asked, dusting the bedsheet.

Flow shrugs, hands still keen on finishing the task given. “No clue, you could probably ask Bitzel and Godis. I saw him with them earlier.”

“Huh? The engineering club is back together again?” The green-haired man chuckled, the purple streaks bouncing. “But now that you mention it, he was with Parker quite a lot. They looked…. worried?”

Flow rested the clothes he was folding onto his lap, giving what Twirps said a thought. “Ya’know, now that you mention it? Yeah, he was.. Especially with Jude, those four were constantly huddling him until he disappeared.” He goes back to his work, eyes locked onto the piece of fabric.

Twirps looks at him, biting the inside of his cheeks. His shades slightly slid off his nose bridge as he tipped his head, “I kinda have a bad feeling about the whole thing, especially when Sharp and Saparata kept on looking around for him. It’s not everyday that you’ll see Blondie and Jude separated at all..”

Flow nods in agreement, finally finishing off the rest of the clothes before leaning against the bed with a sigh. “Sometimes I wish Sharp wasn’t such a daft when it comes to Jude’s feelings…”

Twirps perks up at that statement, “Wait, what do you mean?”

Flow laughs as he rubs a hand over his face, “Dude, you should’ve been in the same class as us back in middle school. It was so, so bad, I kid you not..” He gets up from the bed, roaming around the room. “Like way before Saparata transferred, it was just Sharpness and Jude. Not only that, it was so, so painfully obvious that Jude had a crush on him. Even back then before I became close friends with Sharp, I could tell how hard Jude was pinning the dude.”

“And now? I’m pretty sure Jude still likes Sharpness just like that, he’s always been the third wheel.” Flow waves his hands around as he explains to Twirps about his theory.

Twirps was absolutely dumbfounded at the information, his face contorted with confusion. “And you are a hundred percent sure that this is all true?”

Flow scoffs as he starts to tidy up the drawers, clearing out any empty soda cans or unwanted trash on it. “Oh, I know, I was there to witness it– matter of fact, we can go find Cow and give him an ask! Pretty sure he knows the most, right after Parker of course.” He shoves the rubbish into a black plastic bag, tying it with a knot before tossing it to the side for the time being.

Twirps pack the remainder of the clothes, zipping the luggage up and rolling it aside. “Well, if that’s true… Poor Jude, that’s like almost what? Seven years of pinning? Christ dude, I wonder how bad his mental health has deteriorated…”

Flow moved onto the dresser, packing the remaining items used for Sharpness’ make-up. “Oh yeah, it’s probably rotten as shit. Especially after that best man's speech? I wonder how he is doin—” He was soon caught off guard as he spotted a white envelope resting on the table.

“Is everything alright, Flow? You kinda paused mid-sentence..” Twirps cautiously asked, walking up behind Flow.

Flow picks up the envelope and shows it to Twirps, who gave him an equally puzzled look. “Since when did that get there?”

“No clue…” Flow answered, flipping the envelope around. On the back, the letter was addressed to Sharpness but no other name indicating the Mailer, only an instruction. “Please open this letter only once you’ve returned from your honeymoon…? What?” He read out the words in a soft tone, a bit tempted to open it.

Twirps approached him from the side, holding the other end of the envelope as he inspected the item for himself. “That’s weird, who would’ve left such a cryptic letter on someone’s wedding day– addressed to the groom as well?!”

Before Flow could come up with any more theories, the door of the groom’s room swung open. Cow stood there, sweat dripping down from his forehead. “Sorry for taking such a long time, guys– I didn’t make y’all do everything, right?”

Twirps rests his hands on his hips, “And where have you been, young man?!” He demanded an answer, almost sounding like a mother….

Cow brushes it off with a simple wave of his wrist, “Tried to help Parker find Jude, the guy has been missing for almost five hours now…” He shrugs off his suspenders, letting them hang on the coat rack. “Still can’t find him at all, we searched the entire venue and yet he was just gone without telling anyone.”

Twirps and Flow frowned at his words, something was terribly off. “Like, nothing? No trace or sign?” Flow asked, folding his arms as he put his weight on one leg.

Cow shakes his head, a defeated sigh escapes from his lips. “Nothing, came out empty handed. Godis and Bitzel tried to help out as well, but that too didn’t get us far.” His eyes gaze around the room, probably trying to find anything else to clean up when they land on an object in Flow’s hands. “Flow, what’ca got there in your hand?”

Flow lifts it up, “This lil ol’ thing? Found it while I was clearing the Princess’ make-up off the dresser, it was just there. Someone must’ve left it there for him for some reason but it’s really odd though, there’s no name other than Sharpness’...” He hands him the letter, Twirps simply nodded along.

Cow takes the envelope from him and gives it a good look, feeling the texture of the material. “Huh, that’s odd…” He mumbled out, eyebrows furrowing.

“What is?” Twirps raises an eyebrow.

“This is the same exact type of envelope that Jude used to keep his best man’s speech in, but his didn’t have anything written on it.” Cow flips the item around in his hand, trying to put two and two together.

“Seriously? How the hell did you even notice that?” Flow asked, it was a very– an extremely– tiny detail.

“He showed Sharpness the letter ‘cause he asked, remember? Right before we brought him out to the altar?” Cow said, waving the letter around– imitating what Jude did in front of Sharpness just hours ago. “Now that I think about it, Jude was the last person in this room too…..” He goes back to examining the paper, circling the tips of his finger onto the material.

“Could this be from Jude?”

Flow and Twirps gave each other a look, it could be but what use would it do for Jude? Both of them shrug, there was a chance but it was a slim one. “Maybe?”

“Well, let’s continue to clean up this mess of a room. We can deliver the letter afterwards.” Cow says, tucking the envelope into the pockets of his slacks.

“I’ll let Parker know about the letter, though.”

‿̩͙⊱༻☂︎༺⊰‿̩͙

After being dropped off at the entrance of their choice of resort, Sharpness scoops up Saparata into his arms– a bridal style if you would– and carries him into their room. They had picked a rather nice place to stay, just for two nights before going on for their expedition; the couple should be back by the end of the week. Saparata laughs and playfully kicks his legs in glee as he’s being hoisted, wrapping his arms around Sharpness’ neck for support.

Sharpness simply admired the man in his arms, eyes filled with love and awe.

This was it, the peak of his life.

But why does he still have a bad feeling deep in his heart?

Sharpness shrugs the feeling off, it’s probably the adrenaline from his wedding wearing off– nothing bad of the sorts.

The blonde does the honours of scanning their keycard against the lock, unlocking the door and pushing it open. A large suite was prepared for them, a spacious layout and a comfortable king bed decorated in fresh white sheets laid in the middle– Sharpness could barely contain himself, he wanted to cover himself underneath that quilt and bury himself deep into a slumber.

Sharpness closes the door behind him with a kick from his foot, securely shutting it. He gently throws Saparata onto the bed, who softly lands on it with a grunt. “Oi! Watch it!”

Sharpness simply chuckled as he headed for the curtains, sliding them shut. “You're fine.. the bed caught you.” He teased, a sly smirk on his lips.

Saparata rolls his eyes before laying completely flat on the bed, letting the soft material engulf him whole. “Finallyyy!” He whines, “I am absolutely tired, thank god for some peace and quiet!”

Sharpness sits right next to his husband, undoing his blazer and tie. “Tell me about it, a whole seven hours in that chapel…” Setting the pieces of clothing onto the bedside table, he rolls over to lean towards Saparata– his face was barely inches away from the other's, olive eyes staring deep into obsidian black ones. “The day really went by like a flash, don't you think so? Just barely last night we were so fidgety over the thought of getting married and now here we are.” He whispered in a low tone, bringing his hand to comb through Saparata’s white locks.

The other chuckled attentively, leaning into the touch. “Oh please, that was all you. Ugly crying all over the altar like your life depended on this wedding, you truly are a yearner.” He replied in the same exact tone, hands crawling up to wrap them around Sharpness’ neck, bringing him closer.

The blonde scoffed, “Oh yeah? That's rich coming from the person who called me last night, not able to sleep because we were separated.” He retorted, pressing a gentle kiss onto Saparata’s forehead. “If I recall correctly, you were the one who wanted to keep intact with tradition– yet there you were, ringing me up at the dead of night.”

Saparata’s chuckle turned into tiny giggles, “Okay–! Fine, you win..” He takes a hold of Sharpness’ collar, pulling it down to bring his face towards him. “Always so competitive for no reason..” He mumbled out before locking their lips together softly with a tug of his collar, sinking into the contact.

Sharpness simply hummed into the kiss, letting his lips grace over Saparata’s. He eventually pulls away, using his hands to steady himself up on top of Saparata, their eyes locked onto each other. “I'm off to shower first, I need my pampering time.”

“Our little helpers haven't delivered our luggages yet though?” Saparata reminded him, raising an eyebrow. By little helpers, he meant their friends who were probably still stuck in the chapel, cleaning up their mess.

“That is why you will be staying here and answering the door! They'll be here any minute now, Twirps sent me a message while we were in the car.” Sharpness waved it off with his hand, pushing himself off the bed. His knee was propped onto the edge of the bed, stabilising himself. “This princess over here needs his pampering– if you'll excuse me, I'll be off.”

Saparata rolls his eyes, “Oh, so I'm your personal bellhop now, huh?” Which earns him a pillow to his face, the soft item landed with a muffled “oof” sound coming from him. “Geez-! Okay, fine, I'll answer the door!” He fussed out, pulling the pillow off him. “At least pass me the remote control?”

Sharpness chuckled at his own antics, walking away from the bed and towards the console table, right below the wall mounted television. He grabs the remote on the surface, tossing it towards Saparata who successfully catches it with one hand. They both cheer at the catch, the two of them truly haven't grown out of their middle school years. “Wooooohhhoooo!!” “Hell yeah, baby!”

When their laughter slowly died off eventually, Sharpness took his leave to the bathroom– leaving Saparata to himself on the bed. He uses the remote to turn the television on, changing through a bunch of channels at once to find something interesting for once. News channel, Geography Wild Life, reality shows– skip, skip skip– was there anything interesting at least?

After what felt like hours of skipping, Saparata finally lands on a channel that seems interesting enough– a documentary channel, today's episode was talking about a specific illness. He clutches the remote control even tighter, the disease’s name seems all too familiar.

Fluixon…

Saparata’s hand lay limp against the bed, his hand still had its deathly grip on the remote. It might be his wedding night, but god knows how much he missed his first love. He really did love Sharpness with his whole heart, but Fluixon, he still had a special place in Saparata’s heart. If only…

The show went on to talk about new inventive medicine made by doctors which helped induce the illness, calling it a living blessing. Saparata's fingers graced over the buttons of the remote, not pressing any of them. They said that this was a step closer to finding a cure for the terminal illness, another step towards saving millions of lives. A cure, huh? If only Fluixon had held on a little longer, he would've lived to see this. Saparata thinks to himself, oh how glad he would've been to hear those words coming from professionals’ mouths.

But Fluixon has been dead for almost a decade now. Saparata couldn't change the past even if he wanted to.

In the middle of Saparata's brooding over his dead ex, the doorbell of their hotel room rings– it breaks him free from his thoughts, it had to be their groomsmen.

With a push, Saparata hops out of bed and makes his way to the door. He peeps through the peephole to be sure– he spots Wifies, Cow, Twirps and Flow chatting behind the door, leaning against luggages meant for the couple.

Saparata opens the door with a grin on his face, completely expelling all of his previous thoughts from his mind. “Yo, guys! You're finally here!”

Wifies was the first to turn towards his direction, giving him a single shrug. “It's not like we were going to let you guys sleep in tailored suits, now will we?”

The other three laughed at the comment, Flow lands a playful jab into his arm. “Maybe not to Saparata, but I'd certainly do that to Sharpness though!”

Twirps rolls his eyes, “Speaking of Sharpness, where is he? Did your charming husband disappear?”

Saparata shakes his head, “Taking a shower, he couldn't wait for his ‘pampering session’ so he made me wait for you all to get our things.” He used his fingers to quote his words, nodding his head towards the bathroom.

Cow snickered, sounds like Sharpness to him.

Wifies simply chortled, rolling a black large suitcase towards Saparata. “As much as I'd like to stay here and chat, I have an early flight to catch tomorrow– so I'll need some rest.”

A knowing look spread onto Saparata’s face, the corner of his lips curling upwards slightly. “I see.. Thomas and Pili couldn't make the stay either, could they?” He asked about his other groomsmen who stood with him during his wedding.

Wifies nods, “Their flight is at midnight, so they had to leave early. Sorry that we couldn't stay, Saps– but that is what you get for moving across the country after all.” He chuckled, shoving his hands into the pockets of his grey slacks.

“If that's all, I'll be taking my leave now. See you again soon, Saps.” He gave his goodbye, waving at the newly wed as he departed slowly– disappearing into the hallway of the hotel. Saparata waves back, he really misses home sometimes.

Sharpness’ groomsmen gave Wifies his goodbye as well, wishing him a safe journey.

The minute that raven-haired man turned the corner, the three faced their attention back to Saparata. The air between them had a bit of tension, everyone could feel it. It wasn't like they had a strained relationship with Saparata, they were all good friends– but then why does it feel so suffocating all the sudden?

Twirps and Flow gave each other a knowing look, before glancing towards Cow who had his head hung low. Saparata was looking at him too, usually he had a laid back personality but today.. Today was different. “Is there… something wrong?”

Cow immediately looks up at the question, realising that everyone present was staring at him. “I– uh–” He stuttered, hands visibly fidgety against the handle of Sharpness’ luggage.

Saparata’s grip against his own luggage ,that Wifies had just passed to him, was faltering. Twirps, and bless his soul, quickly clears up the air between everyone, “Uhh– How about this? Saparata, you grab a spare keycard while we arrange your suitcases and then we'll talk outside?”

Both Saparata and Cow get snapped out of their trance, it was a pretty straightforward solution so they both naturally agreed. Flow did the honours of rolling both of their luggages inside as Twirps kept the door open, Saparata went on to find the spare keycard to his hotel room and was sure to grab his phone as well.

Once that was settled, everyone ushered outside and the door closed behind Saparata with a soft click. He folds his hands across his chest, staring down at Cow again. “Okay, so why are you acting weird anyways?”

Twirps and Flow matches Saparata's direction of view, looking at their friend– except they clearly knew what was happening, unlike Saparata.

Cow's right hand sneaks into the pocket of his trousers and pulls out an envelope, a white crispy one. “Do– Do you remember the colour of Jude’s speech letter by any chance?”

What an odd question to ask… Saparata thinks about it for a while, a hand resting beneath his chin. He lets his mind wander into memories of his wedding that just happened a few hours ago, trying to pry any information. Jude…. He remembers his best friend pulling out a white envelope from his breast pocket when he walked up to the stage during their relationship, the colour was–

Saparata looks back at the envelope in Cow's hand, it was the same exact colour. Hell, it even was the exact material and size. “It was.. just like that? Is that his best man speech?” He asked, pointing at the item.

Cow brings his free hand to gently hold the bottom of the envelope, “Right? We thought about it as well but.. his letter didn't have any writings on the envelope, but this one did.”

He turns the envelope around for Saparata to see, the words “Sharpness” and a smaller sentence underneath it written in cursive and ink reveals itself. Saparata tilts his head in confusion, what the hell was he looking at?

Cow could tell he was just as confused as they were, “Look, we still don't know where Jude went, he is still missing. But– but, we believe that he wrote this for Shaprness.” He hands the paper to Saparata who graciously accepts it.

Saparata lets his fingers trace over the material, a sentence written says; “Please open this letter only once you’ve returned from your honeymoon.” in the same black ink as the recipient's name was written in. All he could do was simply mouth the word “what?”, no voice coming out. “This is all… Jude?”

“Theoretically, yes. He was the last person in the room that Sharpness got ready in, so he had to be the only one who left the letter.” Cow explained sheepishly, waving his hands around.

“But….” Saparata mumbles out, eyes still locked onto the item in his hands. He knew Jude, he wasn't the type to write letters about something– he was more of a ‘talk about it face-to-face’ sort of guy. Why use such an unexpected way to approach Sharpness?

Twirps just shrugs right next to Saparata, “Who knows? We've surely got some theories but we aren't sure if they're true, we thought you might have something.”

Saparata shakes his head a bit, “No… not at all, nothing comes to mind really…” He tries to remember if Jude has told him anything these past couple of years, but nothing.

“Well someone here does have some information, but they're refusing to share it in order to keep some of Jude’s face.” Flow mentioned as his eyes trails towards Cow, who simply glared af him.

“It's for his own good, but I'm also completely not sure if that's the whole truth.” Cow admits, eyes darting back to Saparata.

“Right… Thanks for bringing this to my attention, I'll let Sharpness know once he's done with his bath..” Saparata holds the letter in one hand, the other grasps the keycard.

The three nod their heads towards Saparata, expressing their gratitude. “Thanks for hearing me out, I hope I didn't ruin your honeymoon mood or anything like that.” Cow said with a chuckle, nervously rubbing his neck.

Saparata smiles warmly at him, “Not at all… Please do let us know if you've found Jude though, he still hasn't answered either of us.”

“Will do, Saps, will do.” His friend reassured, a hand reached out to pat his shoulder. A sympathetic smile spreads onto the man's face, because what else was he supposed to do? Cow was one of the last people to see Jude yet he was not able to locate him, only time will tell.

Saparata lingered in the hallway as they exchanged their goodbyes, watching the three men walk out. His hand gripped tightly onto the envelope tucked in his hand, he had so many questions.

The minute they disappeared from his view, Saparata’s attention was immediately diverted back onto the small piece of paper. With both hands, he held onto the edges. Just… Why? Why would Jude go out of his way to leave such a cryptic message for Sharpness? Maybe it was a wedding gift… but only for Sharpness?

Saparata knew that the two had always been close friends since elementary but if this was a wedding gift, he'd expect Jude to leave him a letter as well. Maybe he did and Wifies just so happened to miss it?

Maybe, just maybe.

Saparata returns back into his shared hotel room and places the letter on the bedside table, reminding himself to pass it to Sharpness when he's back. He resumes his television show, laying back into bed.

But his attention couldn't help but be diverted to the envelope resting right to him. For some reason, Saparata really wanted to snoop and see what was inside that very letter. If it really was from Jude, why didn't he just hand it directly to Sharpness? Did he have something to hide from Saparata…?

The thought sent chills down his spine, he really hoped that wasn't the case.

Saparata tries his best to pay attention to the show in front of him, but his eyes keep on darting back and forth from the letter. Swallowing the words in his head telling him not to touch it, he reaches for it one last time.

Saparata sits up straight and lets the envelope land on his lap. The material was far too thick to tell what was written on the inside and the opening was tucked securely in place. He contemplates opening it, he really did– but Saparata’s aching want to know was bothering him.

Just as he was about to part the opening, the bathroom door clicked open. Steam starts to seep into the bedroom as Sharpness stepped out, a towel wrapped around his hips as his other hand holds his clothes. Water drips down his long, dampen blonde hair onto each and every curve of his muscle, rolling down the planes of his pecs to his abs. What an absolutely beautiful sight to marvel at– so beautiful in fact that Saparata forgets that he has the letter in his hands.

Sharpness seems to notice his husband's gaze on him and gives him a chuckle, “Like what you see?”

Saparata's agape mouth turns into a cheeky grin, “I married you for a reason, no?”

Sharpness broke out into a laugh, setting his dirty clothes aside. Just as he was about to reach for his luggage, he noticed something in Saparata’s hand. His green eyes light up in confusion, “Sapa, what is that in your hands?”

“I–uh–” He fiddles with the envelope, completely forgetting about it. “Get changed first, my love. I’ll… tell you about it later..” He softly hits the paper against his palm.

Sharpness raises an eyebrow at his words, but doesn’t push it– he continues to open the luggage, getting some of his clothes and facial care supplies out of the bag. He returns to the bathroom, presumably to change, leaving Saparata alone on the bed again.

The white-haired man sighs as he leans back onto the pillows behind, letting his head hit them softly. Saparata lifts the letter upwards, right above his head, inspecting it as if it was dangerous to open it.

Sharpness eventually comes back from the bathroom, all dressed this time. He had his hair tied back, probably was just about to start his skin care routine– but decided the envelope needed to be addressed first. He slides over to the bed, sitting on the edge. “So?”

Saparata’s graze turned from the letter to his husband, but not directly looking at him. He was trying to find the words, remembering what Cow had told him earlier. “Well, for starters… this is for you, obviously.” He hands the letter to the blonde, who takes it from his hands carefully. He inspects the letter for a while, noticing his name and its instructions written on one side. You could tell Sharpness was visibly confused, it was a strange envelope.

“Flow, Twirps and Cow found it in your room while they were tidying up.” Saparata explained, resting his arms on top of his chest. “Cow thinks it's from Jude, because the envelope is the exact same one that he used to keep in his best man’s speech.” He continued, eyes glued onto the letter in his husband’s hands.

Sharpness doesn’t say much, it was more like he doesn’t have anything to say because what was he supposed to do? “At first, I thought it was a wedding gift but Wifies didn’t find anything in my room. I don’t know why he’d only leave something for you, I mean– I get that you two have been friends since the first day of elementary but we were a trio, weren’t we? So, I don’t understand why Jude will only leave something for you only.” Saparata gave his own thought about it, eyes finally watching the blonde’s face.

He had a frown on, his olive eyes darkened slightly. Saparata could understand why, Jude disappeared for the remainder of their wedding with no intel from anyone about his whereabouts and here they were, looking at a letter that was presumably from Jude himself. Sharpness flips the envelope back to the face with his writings, looking at the instructions.

“Please open this letter only once you’ve returned from your honeymoon.” It starred back, like it was mocking him.

Saparata sits up straight and leans towards his husband, resting his chin and hands on one of his broad shoulders. “I just don’t understand… why is he so secretive all of a sudden?” Sharpness breaks his own silence as he mumbles those words out, a question that has been stuck in his head.

Saparata shrugs, he couldn’t give him an answer either. He slides one of his hands down Sharpness’ biceps, resting his fingers on his forearm. “I feel like we should just trust Jude, he’s been a part of our relationship, even helped make it become true.” He whispers, as if people were overhearing their conversation when it was only the two of them in the room. “Let’s just… follow the instructions, yeah? Don’t think too much about it.”

Sharpness was forced to swallow his worries, Saparata was right unfortunately– they should just trust the instructions for now, but Sharpness has this panging sense of dread deep in his stomach. “But… What if Jude is in trouble? He’s still missing, no?” He asked sheepishly, relaxing at Saparata’s touch.

“You know Jude better than I do, you know how well he can take care of himself.” The white-haird man reassured, pressing a kiss on the crook of Sharpness’ neck. “There’s no need to worry, really.”

Sharpness sighs in defeat, he knows Jude– he should be relaxing right now, it was his wedding night! He gently places the letter at the other bedside table, another hand reaches out for Saparata’s. Jude was sure to contact them sooner or later, he wouldn’t go missing for long.

Saparata gives him a genuine smile, rubbing circles into his forearm with his thumb. “Right, I’m going to take my bath now.. Just relax and let your mind rest, okay?” He places another kiss, this time on his shoulder blades, before hopping off the bed. He grabbed some clothes from the luggage Wifies had packed for him and made his merry way to the bathroom, closing the door with a soft click.

Sharpness on the other hand was still staring at the letter on his nightstand, something about it screamed that Jude was in danger. He wanted to open it, read all its contents and figure out where had Jude fled to– but at the same time, he couldn’t bear the thought of breaking his best friend’s trust.

Frustrated, he takes off the headband that he used for his skincare and chucks it across the room, letting his bangs fall onto his face. He could do his skincare tomorrow morning, right now was the time to think back– what could Jude possibly want to say to him that requires a letter? He knew that he was a straightforward kind, someone who would rather talk than to write– why change now?

He leans into the pillow behind him, laying fully on the bed. Sharpness lets his mind take over, muffling the sound of the television that was playing in the background. He stares into the ceiling, hands behind his head.

Jude, where are you?

With a little more contemplating and thinking, Sharpness eventually wears himself tired trying to find a solution for this problem. It just seemed like it came out of nowhere, this was not like the Jude he once knew. Something felt terribly off about the whole exchange, but he couldn’t put his mind to it.

Sharpness starts to feel his eyelids go heavy, his long lashes fluttering shut. Maybe sleeping wasn’t such a bad idea, today was a tiring day– both physically and mentally.

Sharpness’ eyes flutter open again, but he wasn’t back in the hotel room anymore— this time, he finds himself beneath a large oak tree, its leaves shading his eyes away from the direct sunlight from above. He stirs in place, where the hell was he? Using his elbows, he props himself upwards to get a better view of his surroundings.

And there he sees it, a meadow of lavender just a few feet away from him. The flowers were perfectly bloomed and even from where he was sitting, Sharpness could catch the strong scent from here— it was pleasant. He slowly lifts himself further, letting his back rest against the tree bark behind him. It was an amazing sight, he could stay here forever.

Sharpness looks down at his fingers, they seem to be the same, except he was missing a silver wedding band on his right ring finger. That’s odd but definitely confirms something, he was dreaming.

He gets up from where he was resting, taking in the view even more. He takes a few steps away from the tree, letting the morning sunlight hit his skin– it felt fresh. The blonde tried to think for a bit, why on Earth has he been transported to such a dream? Amidst his pondering thoughts, a familiar voice calls out to him. “Princess! You’re finally awake!”

Jude?

Sharpness quickly turns his head around, only for his breath to be caught. Jude was walking up towards him, but he looked a little bit different from his memories. His purple hair swayed with the wind, a white floral kerchief rested on his head. He wore rather vintage clothes, a silk button top and long black pants with an empress waist– but to top it all off, he had one of those vintage waist aprons on, the ones with lace decorated on the ends and a pair of cute pockets. He almost looked like a housewife.

“Good mornin’ sleepy head, had a great nap?”Jude greeted him as he got closer, a hand resting on Sharpness’ forearm. He used his free hand to hold a woven basket, resting it on his hip.

“Y–Yeah… I did, bunny.” The familiar nickname slips from the blonde’s mouth.

It earns a giggle from Jude, who looks back to the fields that Sharpness was staring at previously. “It’s such a nice place, isn’t it?”

Sharpness joins in, something about this dream felt all too familiar but he was certain that Jude had never dressed like that in his life. “Yeah.. it’s gorgeous.”

Jude’s hand moves from his forearm to his rolled up sleeves, tugging at it. “Here, sit back down. I want to braid your hair, it’s a mess!” Sharpness simply nods and does as he’s told, something in him tells him to just follow whatever Jude says.

Jude plots himself right behind Sharpness and undoes his hair in one swift motion, as if he has been doing this for ages. He uses his fingers to comb through Sharpness’ hair, humming a soft tune. Sharpness feels oddly at peace, his Jude certainly used to braid his hair back in middle school, underneath a tree right next to the skatepark– but Jude eventually got replaced by Saparata once they started to date, he feels a bit guilty about that.

So with a heavy heart of guilt for almost replacing his Jude, Sharpness lets this Jude do as he pleases.

With utter precision, Jude separates his hair into big three strands and starts to braid his hair. He didn’t tug nor pull too hard, it felt nice. Sharpness could feel Jude’s fingers on his scalp occasionally, gentle and caring– just like the Jude he knew.

Jude finishes off with tying his hair with the ribbon that he had pulled off earlier, making sure it was secure. He then reaches out into the basket, grabbing some flowers and tucking them into the braid, decorating his hair. Sharpness simply let him do it, it brought back some memories of them from middle school. His Jude used to do the same with red Ixoras that he would find in bushes, the small flowers popped out from his blonde hair– this Jude was using violet pansies, the colours almost resembling himself.

“Taa–daa, all done!” Jude said cheerfully, patting the braid one last final time. “You look absolutely gorgeous, Sharpy.” He complimented him with a smile.

Gorgeous? That was new, Sharpness looked at the man with bewilderment, but this body reacted differently, his heart leaped at the words. “Th..thank you?”

This Jude let his smile grow bigger, guiding Sharpness to lean onto his lap– he was still careful of his freshly done hair, Jude wouldn’t want to ruin his hard work. Sharpness blindly follows, like a loyal dog to its owner. He lays there, feeling oddly content about his current situation. Jude strokes his scalp gently, humming the same tune from earlier. “You can go back to sleep, if you’d like.”

Sharpness hums in response, eyes falling heavy.

Right before he completely drifts to sleep, he hears Jude say something.

“I love you forever, Princess. Come and protect me, will you?”

Sharpness immediately jolts awake, what the fuck? His eyes were wide open, he felt sweat trickling down his skin. What.. a weird dream, especially that last line– what was that for?

He tried to get up, only to find a heavy weight resting on top of him– Saparata laid there, head resting on his chest. His white hair spilled all over his face, contently sleeping on top of Sharpness. It calms him down a bit, knowing Saparata was right there– he brings his hand to caress his husband’s head, feeling the strands of hair. He was awake, he wasn’t dreaming anymore.

But that leaves another question. It was his wedding night, why was he dreaming about his best friend and not his husband?

That was really weird, maybe his thoughts were clouded because of the mysterious envelope… Just maybe.

Sharpness tries not to think too much about it, he exhales loudly through his nostrils as he closes his eyes. He should probably tell Saparata about the dream in the morning, when they were both awake. He sneaks his other hand around his lover’s waist, holding him tightly. The sleeping Saparata mumbles something, nudging his face closer to the blonde’s neck– but still asleep nonetheless.

What an odd dream, maybe Sharpness will get answers sooner or later.

He feels his eyelids growing heavier, and he lets himself drift to slumberland once again.

‿̩͙⊱༻☂︎༺⊰‿̩͙

Sharpness and Saparata find themself in a beach the next morning, just walking around. They were set to check-out around noon, so they wanted to spend their time roaming the resort’s facilities. Right after breakfast in their all-you-can-eat buffet, Saparata had piqued the idea of walking at the beach– which Sharpness agreed without any problem.

With their hands intertwined and holding their sandals with the free hand, Sharpness and Saparata bury their feet into the warm, fluffy sand, watching the waves together. The sound of the ocean rings in their ears, bringing peace to them. The occasional sound of laughter in the distance by a family who came to the resort for vacation could be heard, the clear blue sky reflecting its rich colours onto the water— it was such a perfect day.

The two hummed with content, it was a lovely sight. Saparata then tugs Sharpness towards the water, he wanted to dip his legs in them– which the blonde didn’t object one bit, so he let his husband pull him. The touch of the sea between their toes felt cold, a starking contrast to the sand that was heated by the radiant sun.

“If only we stayed a bit longer, we could've enjoyed the beach a bit more… I would've loved to take a swim right now.” Saparata said, kicking the wet sand into the ripples of the water.

Sharpness chuckled, “Well, someone wanted to visit their hometown.. so we couldn't. Maybe next time we'll book a room for a longer stay.” He reasoned, tightening his fingers around Saparata’s.

Saparata laughs back, “Oh please, you'll have to meet the extended in-laws eventually, Sharp.” He retorted, “Besides, I kinda missed the place.. We do have a lot on our itinerary.”

Sharpness brings their intertwined hands to his lips, giving Saparata’s hand a kiss. “That we do, but we'll have no problem going through with it.”

Saparata looks back at his husband, a loving look on his face. He smiles gently at the gesture, “Yeah… I'm sure we'll have no problem.”

Sharpness doesn't say anything for a moment, his mind was stuck somewhere– the weird dream last night. How was he supposed to approach Saparata with this? It isn't pleasant to talk about dreaming about his best friend the night of their wedding, now was it..

Saparata seems to notice this, his face showing concern. “Are you alright, Sharp?”

“Yeah, just–” Sharpness inhales the fresh sea air, taking a deep breath. “Had a really weird dream last night…” Here goes nothing…

Saparata tilts his head to the side in confusion, “lay it on me, how weird could it possibly be?”

Sharpness bites the inside of his cheek, how was he supposed to explain this? “I had a dream about… Jude. Like, we were at this lavender field, sitting below a tree. He looked.. a bit different, he was wearing vintage clothes which are definitely not his style. I didn't have my wedding ring in the dream, it felt odd.” He admitted, shrugging his shoulders a bit. “Jude was braiding my hair in the dream, the same thing he used to do back in middle school. At the end.. he told me that he loved me forever and asked me to save him..?”

Saparata’s eyebrows furrow, but not in the angry way– more of a worried look. “Maybe the fact of you being really concerned about his disappearance and the letter from last night made you manifest that dream? But it does sound odd, really…”

“Yeah, it's weird…” Sharpness’ head hung low, “What does he mean by save him?”

Saparata walks closer to him, “I'm sure it's just a dream.. don't worry too much about it.” He reassured, resting his head against the blonde's shoulder.

Sharpness nods in understanding, before tugging on their hands. “C'mon, we'll have to go soon. Let's go wash up our legs and grab our luggages from the room.” He tried to change the topic– Saparata thankfully didn't comment about it, just simply nodded back.

‿̩͙⊱༻☂︎༺⊰‿̩͙

The plane ride was long and tiring, a whole eight hours to travel across the country. By the time they reached their hotel, it was almost midnight. Saparata managed to catch some zzz's in the plane unlike Sharpness, who was beyond excited to see what his husband's birthplace looked like. It intrigued him, he had only heard stories about the place, the earlier memories of Saparata– but there was one thing that Sharpness was sure about, and that was the city was filled to the brim with wealthy people.

It wasn't that Sharpness wasn't rich himself, it was that he knew Saparata was much, much richer by a standpoint compared to him. The man was in a private school for most of elementary and middle school years, not to mention that he went back to study in University there– it was all private school, his parents had paid for everything.

So Sharpness couldn't help but be a little restless about visiting the place he had always dreamed about.

Nonetheless, they managed to book a taxi and get to their hotel despite the time. The hotel was opulent to be exact, marble tiles, chandeliers hanging on the ceiling, bellboys waiting at the entrance to pick your luggages for you– definitely screams high end.

Saparata, who still had energy left, took it upon himself to get their reservation, his family were the ones who booked the hotel for them after all. Sharpness took the liberty to carry their luggages, until a bellboy took care of it for him, leaving him to carry their smaller personal belongings.

Once the key was acquired, they made their way to the elevator. For some reason, their room was located on the eleventh floor… That's a lot of floors. Energy was an all time low for them, being cramped in a plane for hours was not for the weak.

Their room was magnificent, something what Sharpness had expected from his view of the entrance– it was wider than the resort’s, they had enough space to place a lounging area in the middle of the room, the television was wider and there were a lot of windows. They had already loaded their luggages inside, they even had those towel art on their beds! Talk about extra, Sharpness had never stayed in a hotel like this.

Saparata immediately takes off his shoes, shrugs off his jacket and dumps it aside, jumping onto the bed. “Fi–na–llyy, ugh…” He said, dragging the syllables. Sharpness follows him, joining him in the bed. “I donwanna bathe….” The white-haired man mumbled into the pillow, his arms hugging the soft material.

Sharpness rolls over, hanging an arm around Saparata’s waist. “We don’t gotta… it's late, I wanna sleep too.”

Saparata giggled, “Ewwww… you’re dirty—- get off the bed!” He playfully said, nudging him with his elbow, Sharpness simply giggled along. “Ow– oww! You’re just as dirty, dumbass!” They both continue to laugh together, intertwined in each other’s arms.

It didn’t take long for both of them to fall asleep, Sharpness watched as Saparata’s eyes fluttered shut, only to follow suit right after. He slips into a land of slumber, his mind drifting to yet another dream.

Sharpness finds himself in yet another dream, this time in a cozy living room. He was laying on the couch, in front of a cackling fireplace. The heat radiating off the flame was warm, like an embrace. He watched the fire dance,swaying from left to right. He continues to examine the room, noticing some things– in the corner were mechanical parts inside a box, some portraits and pictures hung on the wall with antique wooden frames, even the wallpaper had this floral pattern you’d usually see in post war houses. It made Sharpness think, were his dreams about a past that he once lived?

He lifts himself upwards, spotting some other things that confirmed his suspicion. A portrait right next to the window, Sharpness was in it, right next to Jude who was sitting down. They looked.. like a married young couple, staying in a downtown house by themselves– but they weren’t married, a simple glance at his empty finger speaks for itself.

There were muskets hung on the walls like trophies, some next to pictures of Sharpness in army gear, as well as rows of decorated medals right next to them. It felt all too weird, Sharpness doesn’t think he knows his past life, but the dream felt familiar for some reason. He couldn’t place his finger on it though.

Suddenly, the door behind him swings open. Jude comes into the room, a plate filled with biscuits in his hand. “Oh, Sharpy! Just in time, I was done preparing tea and was about to wake you up.” He said with a smile, placing the platter onto the coffee table. Sharpness looks back at the man, taking a good look. This dream, he wore something different– a white tee and light brown slacks, as if he just got back from work. Sharpness could also see his mismatched colour socks, it was kinda cute..

“I'll go get the teapot real quick, make yourself comfortable!” Jude squeaked, before jumping back into the kitchen.

Sharpness needed to digest the whole thing, this Jude was treating him like he was his husband or something. He leans into the soft material of the couch, grabbing a throw pillow to hug. It wasn't like he was complaining, it was actually pleasant.

Jude eventually comes back with a tray in his hand, a pair of teacups with their matching saucer and a teapot, pearly white with golden decorations– something Sharpness could find in a pawn shop in his time. The purple-haired man slides the tray onto the table, right next to the assorted biscuits before placing himself right next to Sharpness– their thighs touching each other. The blonde visibly reacts to the touch, retracting his leg away in instinct before slowly letting it relax back against Jude’s– he wasn’t expecting the touch to be warm, especially when it was only just a dream.

Jude immediately notices this, a concerned look washes over his face. “Princess? You alright? You usually don’t flinch away like that…” He said, resting his hand on top of the Sharpness’ thigh. His tan fingers looked so small compared to the muscle, despite them being gently spread out on top. Sharpness swallows his saliva at the gesture, “Y–Yeah! Just a bit jumpy from that nap, bad dream, ya’know?”

Jude gives him a small smile as he pats Sharpness’ leg, “Yeah, I get that…” He closed his eyes briefly as he chuckled to himself, “Sorry, it’s just that.. You’ve been so jumpy these past few days– I thought I’ve been doing something wrong…”

Sharpness’ olive eyes immediately goes wide, “Bunny! Of course not! It’s just me, don’t worry…” He brings an arm around Jude, giving him a side hug by the waist. Jude’s free hand travels towards that arm, resting his fingers on top of the blonde’s which laid on the noticeable curve of his waist. “Are you sure, Sharpy?” He asked sheepishly, head ducking down slightly.

“Yeah… I’m sure, Jude.” He reassures, holding him closer. Jude simply lets his head fall onto Sharpness’ shoulder, resting it there with a hum as a response.

He tilts his head up slightly to face Sharpness, resting his chin on his shoulder. “Well then, let's get started before the tea goes cold! Your teacup is the one with sugar cubes inside, just how you like it.”

Sharpness feels like his cheeks burn a little– even in this dream, he still somehow has a sweet tooth. He chuckles at the gesture, his Jude would’ve done the same thing– when they had spent Christmas together back in middle school, Jude took the liberty to make hot chocolate for them. He had remembered that Sharpness preferred sweet things, so he snuck in a little bit of extra spoonfuls of sugar for the boy. Sharpness was beyond ecstatic that day, maybe it was because of the sugar rush– but the point still stands!

Jude puts a teaspoon inside that cup before lifting the teapot, pouring some tea– he stirs the contents and passes it to Sharpness, who happily accepts it. Taking a sip, the flavour of the tea hits his tongue just right– but it tasted oddly familiar, Sharpness couldn’t put a finger on it though. He watches the fireplace once more, letting his eyes take in how the flame dances and cackles once more. Jude prepares his own cup of tea before leaning back into the couch, but he places most of his weight against Sharpness, who doesn’t mind. He sighs as he nuzzles the back of his head closer to Sharpness, the whole thing almost feels not platonic, like at all.

However, Sharpness couldn’t help himself but to indulge in it, not pushing Jude away.

It was peaceful, something as simple as this could put Sharpness into a sense of serenity. He hasn’t done something like this with his Jude in ages, just hanging out with the two of them– Saparata was always there whenever they hung out ever since he came into the picture, they barely get any alone time.

And to be truthful– Sharpness feels guilty for that.

At first, it wasn’t so bad– the three of them spending time together as a trio. But it slowly started with them excluding Jude from their hangout sessions, it got even worse when they started dating. Sharpness couldn’t remember the last time he had spent any alone time with Jude, even in University when he and Saparata were apart– he still spent most of his time with his boyfriend, despite being literal roommates with his best friend.

The thought made him scowl physically and this Jude noticed it, despite Sharpness looming over him– it should’ve been impossible for him to see it. “Sharp? You alright there?” He calls out for the blonde, innocently tilting his head backwards to face him fully. Sharpness simply nodded, extending his hand over the couch, right behind Jude’s head.

His companion leans into the arm, eyeing him up and down cautiously. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah… Just thinking, nothing much.”

Jude sips on his teacup before setting it aside on the table, neatly folding his hands on his lap. “Good, because I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Sharpness raises his eyebrow, mimicking Jude’s movements and setting his own cup aside. “Okay..? Shoot?”

Jude sheepishly looks away from Sharpness, not making eye contact anymore. “You know, I’m kinda curious…” He shifts his body to fully turn towards Sharpness, sitting on the side of his hip as his arm drapes around Sharpness’, the one he was just leaning against. “Why stay in this dream? You don’t even remember what happens next.”

Sharpness felt his heart drop and skin crawl, Jude was now directly looking at him in the eyes– not breaking eye contact, his previous sweet demeanor completely changed into a serious one, as if he had caught something. “I know you’re not my Sharpness, what are you doing here?”

“W–What?” Sharpness asked nervously, how could’ve he spotted it so easily? He had barely said a few words.

“Sharpness.” Jude calls out, “Go back to your world.”

“Wh– Huh–?” Sharpness stammers, Jude’s stoic voice completely tipping him off. It was a complete 180 degree turn, not giving the blonde enough time to process it.

This Jude leans forwards and uses his hand to shove Sharpness harder towards the couch, “Go back, you don’t belong here. Go back to your husband, the one you abandoned me for.”

Abandoned him for? What on earth– “Jude, what are you talking about? Saparata didn’t make me abandon you?!”

Jude’s face turns into a scowl, as if Sharpness had stabbed him in the heart. “You were supposed to marry me! Suppose to love me!” He starts to raise his voice but it falters slightly, cracking in the process. Sharpness could’ve sworn that he saw tears pooling in the corner of his eyes.

“What does that mean, Jude?” Sharpness tried to prop himself upright, but Jude had practically climbed on top of him, straddling his lap. The purple-haired man was hovering over him, one hand tightly fisting up his shirt and the other one prepared to hit– he was going to slap Sharpness. “You were supposed to be mine! Not his!”

Sharpness instinctively grabs the hand that held him, his other trying to reach out for Jude’s raised hand– trying to block the attack. This Jude was spouting nonsense– saying that he was his and he was supposed to love him instead. “Hey– Hey, Bunny– let’s calm down, alright–?! No need to get feisty!”

Jude’s hand shook as he held its place, gripping his fingers into a fist but it never hit Sharpness. Tears started to pour down his face, he was choking back on his own sobs. “Y–you! If only you knew how I felt!”

Sharpness manages to catch Jude’s other wrist, gently bringing it down. Jude shook and cried as both of his wrists were held down, the tears wouldn’t stop coming. He sniffled in his place, head hung long– but from where Sharpness was, he could see those gorgeous magenta eyes filled with sorrow. It broke up completely.

His grip around Jude’s wrists loosens as he realises Jude doesn't seem to be resisting anymore, his fingers gentle around them. “You okay, Bun?”

Jude hiccups as he shakes his head frantically, Sharpness could see the tears drop onto his hands. He slowly tilts his face upwards, letting the blonde to directly look at him.

Sharpness doesn't waste any time, letting go of one wrist and reaching for Jude’s loose strands of hair, tucking the purple streaks behind his ear. “Hey, it's okay..”

Jude trembled on his lap, lips quivering as another sob tears through his throat. “No…” He mumbled, hands freeing themselves from Sharpness’ grip.

He grabs Sharpness by the collar again, rougher this time– and it catches the man below him off guard, unable to react in time. Jude had his fist held back in front of his face, ready to punch. “Go back, you don't love me.”

“Woah– woah– hey!” Was all Sharpness could let out before Jude’s fist flew straight to his face, knocking him out cold.

Sharpness flinches awake once again, sitting completely upright– his chest heaves for air, his heart felt tight. What the fuck was that dream…? He quickly brings his hands to pat his face, making sure that he was truly awake– the stickiness from his sweat touches his palm. After a few minutes of calming himself down, he groans softly into his hand. He thought that the previous night was odd, tonight was entirely something else!

Sharpness’ face stung, as if the punch really did happen. What the hell was that reaction for?!

He turns his head around to find Saparata peacefully sleeping right next to him, still in the clothes that they have been wearing since their flight, just like himself– he could change, but granted that he was lazy and didn’t want to get out of bed.

He watches as his husband snored softly, his chest rising and descending slowly with each breath he took. Sharpness’ mind wanders back to what Jude said in his dreams–”Go back to your husband, the one you abandoned me for.” –nothing made sense at all, was the dream trying to tell him a message?

His eyes glided onto his abandoned jacket on one of the chairs, hanging in the dark room– the envelope was tucked into its pocket, Sharpness’ heart was begging for him to read the letter– but he didn't.

Sharpness simply tucked himself back to bed, laying on his side so he was looking at Saparata’s sleeping figure. ”“You were supposed to be mine! Not his!”, Jude’s words continued to echo in his empty mind. Supposed to be his… What does that even mean?

Sharpness bites his lip as he shakily brings out a hand, gently caressing Saparata’s cheek. His lover was far too deep into his sleep, unable to feel the touch.

Sharpness’ sigh, feeling his eyelid droop by the minute.

It’s just a silly dream, Sharpness. It doesn’t mean anything.

‿̩͙⊱༻☂︎༺⊰‿̩͙

Today was a bit packed for the newly wedded couple, activities filled throughout the day– Sharpness and Saparata find themselves sitting together in their room’s lounging area, waiting for room service to come. The blonde doesn’t bring up the dream he had, he figured it’ll be weird as this was his second time in a consecutive row dreaming about Jude.

With his legs propped up on the coffee table, Sharpness holds a small letter in his hands— the one that everyone presumed Jude had written. It technically had to be the cause of these mysterious dreams, because why else would he have them now? As far as he was concerned, most of his dreams were happy-go-lucky with a tinge of sugar, spice and everything nice. Not whatever his head has been conjuring up for the past two nights.

Saparata sat across from him, his knees tucked against his chest as he scrolled through his phone. “Hey baby? What are you doing there?” He asked, eyes still not prying away from the screen.

“Nothing, just… just thinking.” Sharpness replied, hands playing with the envelope.

Saparata finally looks at the blonde, “Are you sure? You've been brooding over that letter since you woke up, I'm getting a lil’ concerned..” He gestures his phone towards him.

Sharpness tosses the paper onto the table with a sigh, letting it glide safety onto the surface. “I know, it's just that.. the dream from the previous night really fucked me over.” He admits a lie– technically a half lie, he just didn't tell him about last night's dream.

Saparata puts his phone down right next to the envelope, before , “Seriously, what’s creeping you out so much about that dream?”

Sharpness shrugs as he leans back into the chair, “I guess it’s the fact that I’ve never had a dream about him? Not like that at least…” And when he meant by him, he meant Jude.

Saparata tilts his head to the side, “Like.. never before this? I’d expected you to at least have a dream back when you guys were kids, but guess not.” Sharpness shakes his head in denial, he supposed there is always room for a first time afterall.

Saparata hums in acknowledgement, “You know what? Let’s get your mind off that, can we talk about our plans for today?” He suggested, letting his legs slide down to the floor. The blonde thinks for a while, “Yeah, I suppose that’ll be for the best..”

“Okay, so after breakfast– we’re gonna wash up and leave around let’s say…” Saparata grabs his phone again, pressing the button to turn it on– only to check the time. “Hmmm… Maybe two hours from now? So around half past nine in the mornin’..” Sharpness nods in agreement, it seems reasonable enough.

“And then, we’ll take a taxi to my parents’ house. They said we could borrow their car for our trip, since they’re still back in Strength city…” Saparata recalls, tapping the corner of his phone against his chin.

“After that, we'll pay the in-laws a visit.” Saparata didn't have much of an extended family nor any siblings.
What Saparata meant by ‘in-laws’, he just meant the Aculon family– in simpler terms, his dead ex, Fluixon's family.

Despite the passing of Fluixon, Saparata still kept contact with his family– strong bond between a grieving family and a lost boyfriend– seems reasonable enough to Sharpness; the family knew his husband ever since he was a little kid.

But calling them the ‘in-laws’ always struck a nerve in Sharpness…

He suppose promising to marry your terminally ill ex makes you feel like you should own their family the title, so Sharpness never really complained about it– Saparata at least did tell him about the situation before they dated, telling him that he has been calling them the ‘in-laws’ for some time now.

“Okay… and then?” Sharpness asked, his hands rested behind his head.

“Uh…” Saparata’s voice goes barely above a whisper, his head sheepishly tilted on one side. “I was wondering if it'll be okay if we visit, you know… his grave?”

Fluixon's grave, buried somewhere within the meadows a few hours away from Saparata’s family home. “I see… I mean of course, we gotta pay some respect to him.”

Saparata beams at the answer, his face immediately going brighter. “Oh, Sharp! Thank you!!” He exclaims as he leans out of his seat, heading straight towards Sharpness for a hug. The blonde catches him by the waist, letting his husband kiss him all over the face.

The smooches were cut short unfortunately as a bell rings throughout the door, room service has finally arrived! “Ooh, I'll get that!” Saparata exclaims as he rushes to the door.

Sharpness simply chuckled, letting his head fall back against the chair.

He had nothing to worry about.

‿̩͙⊱༻☂︎༺⊰‿̩͙

The taxi ride was about half an hour, about as long as their ride from the airport to the hotel just last night. The two sat in silence at the backseat, hands intertwined– but both of them were looking out of each respective window, watching the scenery. The heavy, dense city view slowly turned into an open field with trees by the side, a complete turn over as they travelled deeper, making their way to the suburbs. They both can't help but notice how the spring air has brought blooming purple flowers from most plants they have seen; Saparata had told Sharpness about this, it was their city's official flower, violet pansies– the same ones that he had seen in his first dream.

The two continued to stare at the flowers outside, reminding them of two very dear people to their hearts but it wasn't each other.

The taxi eventually came to a halt, pulling up at a large white mansion– Saparata’s family home back in State city. They paid and thanked the driver before exiting the car. Sharpness was immediately awestruck by how massive the house truly was, he had only seen it through pictures of Saparata’s childhood.

A housekeeper was already waiting for them at the porch, greeting Saparata with a slight bow– even far from home, he was still respected by the workers who raised him alongside his years of childhood.

She passes Saparata a set of keys, presumably car keys. He gives her his thanks before tugging Sharpness by the sleeve towards the large garage that was further away from the house.

With a click of a button, the gate retracts open and that was when Sharpness realises how much he truly underestimated Saparata’s wealth– there was a wide collection of cars, gleaming back at them as the sun hit the shiny surface. Sport cars, vintage cars, electric cars– you name it, there were more cars in that garage than Sharpness’ fingers to count.

“Holy shit…” He mumbles, using his hand to comb through his blonde hair anxiously. Sharpness was sure that all of these cars combined was double his family's wealth.

Saparata giggles at his reaction, as if this was the most normal thing ever. “Dad likes to collect cars, he said we could use any!”

“Wait, but your housekeeper only gave you one set of car keys though?” Sharpness asked.

Saparata shakes his head, “No, silly! It's the key for the garage! All of the car keys are at the back.” He explained, pointing to the back. Sharpness could see a rack from where he was standing, so the keys must be there.

“Here, how about you go pick out a car? Just tell me which one you fancy and I'll go fetch the key.” Saparata beams at him, giving him the option to choose.

“Woah, woah, woah– you want me to drive?? Baby, these cars are probably half of my yearly salary!” Sharpness shakes his hand, trying to avoid the heavy impending task that was about to be handed to him.

“Oh come on, dad trusts you a lot. Besides, you have great driving skills!” Saparata complimented him, “Also, cause I just like to be a passenger princess..”

Sharpness rolls his eyes at the actual motive, before going back to taking a look. He slowly walks through the garage, taking his sweet time with the decision. Saparata trails behind him, telling him occasional short stories about each car. Eventually, they came towards a red convertible car– it stood out to Sharpness for some reason, but he couldn't tell why.

Saparata peeks behind him, wondering why Sharpness was staring at this specific car. “Sharp? Is this the car that you like?”

“I– I mean, all of these cars are great, but somewhat I'm drawn to this car..” Sharpness mumbles out, fingers caressing the polished surface.

“It's a vintage car, apparently. My father had gotten it from an auction, I’m frankly surprised that it's still in good shape to even drive.” Saparata takes one good look at the car before giggling, Sharpness looks back at him with a confused expression. “Is it because our wedding car was a convertible? I mean sure it's grey but like– that's so cute of you to think about!” He said through his giggle fit, hands over his mouth.

That wasn't even the reason that Sharpness could think off, but whatever makes Saparata happy. “Maybe.. yeah.. that rings a bell now.”

Saparata heads to the back to grab the car key and tosses it over to Sharpness who successfully catches it, the golden coated material sparks a huge contrast with his wedding band that was wrapped around his ring finger– its shiny and new complex against the rusty material. “Alright, let’s go, Sapa.”

Sliding into the car and revving up the engine, Sharpness tries his best to reverse the car without scratching it– which he manages to do. Within minutes, they were out of the garage and back on the road. Driving the car felt all too natural for him, his grip around the wheel felt perfect and he could easily maneuver the manual transmission with ease– like he owned the car.

The breeze blew onto their faces as they travelled, the sun was utterly perfect– Sharpness would occasionally glance over to Saparata who basked in the sunlight, he looked ethereal underneath the golden rays.

He married such a perfect man, what could possibly go wrong?

Following the GPS that Saparata had put up for him, the two eventually made it over to the Aculon’s estate– an even grander place compared to Saparata’s parents. They had an open field, their territory spread out quite widely. Unlike Saparata’s modern architecture styled house, the Aculon family seemed to stick with a traditional gothic-victorian style, the main building stacking up to at least 5 stories. It almost looked like a castle… (It practically was LMFAO)

Their land had multiple other buildings on the plot, horse ranches, private golf courses, ponds and lakes that were filled with expensive fishes, greenhouses– you name it. Sharpness’ hand grips onto the steering wheel, he frankly feels a tad bit nervous now– but who wouldn’t be?

The two eventually reached the porch of the actual residency, its smooth grey pavements were complimented with bushes on the sides that were littered with the same purple pansies they had seen earlier. Sharpness puts the car on park, before exiting alongside Saparata.

But before they could even reach the steps towards the menacing large double doors, it was quickly opened by a boy with dusty brunette hair and pale green eyes. He stood at the door as he took one good look at Saparata before the brightest smile took over his face, “Saps! You’re back!” He said as he ran towards the white-haired man, who happily caught him with open arms. “There you are, Sidefall!”

The two of them giggled as they embraced, Saparata was ruffling the boy's hair. Sharpness kinda just chuckled at the reaction, it was cute.

“Oh, right– Sharp, this is Fluixon’s nephew, Sidefall.” Saparata introduces, “Sidefall, that handsome hunk of a man is my husband, Sharpness.”

Sidefall gave a polite wave towards Sharpness, he looked about just barely a few years younger than the couple, maybe in his teen years. The blonde smiles warmly at the kid, only for them to be interrupted by the entrance door swinging open slowly. A taller brunette man with light skin peeks through, one half of his body being a completely different colour– like a chimera cat. He had two different coloured eyes, one warm brown, the other a bright purple– just like the flowers on the porch. His facial expression immediately softens when he sees Saparata standing there, “Saparata… welcome back.” He greeted, slowly stepping out.

“Ender…” Saparata mumbled out, a soft smile appeared on his face. He goes towards the man, giving him a good hug; the other man returns the gesture. “It’s so good to see you again, we’ve missed you.” He told him, patting his back.

After exchanging small talk, Saparata drags Sharpness inside the house– making sure that the blonde did clean his shoes with the mat before he entered too. The hallway was massive to say the least– well, Sharpness thinks that was the main hallway– because he was dragged to many, many other hallways before reaching the living room. Based off the exterior of the house, the living room practically gives off the same vibe– a large chandelier in the middle of the ceiling, leather sofas surrounding a fireplace made out of bricks that seemed to be older than Sharpness himself, a beautifully crafted carpet laid on the wooden floor– the place just flaunted generations of wealth.

Everyone takes a seat, Ender and Sidefall sat across from the couple so it would be easier to talk to them.

From Ender and Saparata’s conversation, Sharpness was able to catch a few useful pieces of information; one, Ender was Fluixon's older brother. Two, Sidefall was Ender’s child– which like Saparata had said, was Fluixon’s nephew.

The two continued to talk about their lives, the occasion congratulations on their wedding and apologies for not being able to attend came from Ender. He tried his best to converse with Sharpness, but the blonde understands that the man was more comfortable with Saparata as they have known each other for such a long time.

Amidst their chatter, clicking of heels can be heard from the hallway that they came from. Everyone’s head turns towards the entrance of the living room, watching as a figure emerges from the narrow connection. Ender visibly rolls his eyes, “Guess who finally decides to grace us with her presence today? The Queen, herself..”

The person makes themselves known with a playful scoff, “Oh please, can’t I see Saparata too?” A woman’s voice inquiries Ender, sharp and powerful. Sharpness sees a woman with dark brunette hair that has been set into a tight bun, her outfits were much more formal compared to the other two, she held a helmet underneath her arms. “Unlike you, I actually spend my time at the horse stables.”

She sighs as she rounds the couch, giving Saparata a pat on his shoulder. “Don’t listen to him, Saps. You know that I am better.” She advised him with a wicked smile, Sharpness feels rather confused.

“Oh yes, totally listen to my vile half-sister… She gives the best advice.” Ender rolled his eyes, leaning back into the soft material as he idly checked his finger nails.

The woman places her helmet on the table, before plopping herself right next to Ender. “Congratulations on your wedding by the way, Saparata and– uh…” She pauses when she looks at Sharpness, obviously she wouldn’t know him with the way she was staring at him; as if his name would magically appear back in her mind.

“Apologies for Cynikka– unlike the rest of us, she doesn’t have the time to read the letters that Saparata diligently sends to us. Cynikka, this is Sharpness.” Ender jokes, introducing the blonde.

So her name was Cynikka? Sharpness has heard about her from Saparata every once in a while, always mentioning how she’s running the house after her father.

Cynikka nudges Ender with her elbow, “Shut it, will you—”

The siblings then started to play fight, Saparata and Sidefall giggled alongside them while Sharpness simply sat there, awkward as hell. The two eventually calmed down and started conversing with Saparata again, but with Cynikka around; Sharpness feels like it was easier to join in the conversation as she kept on trying to include interrogate him.

Sharpness would then find out more information about the Aculon family through their conversation, whether it’ll be useful for him or not in the mere future. All family members underneath the Aculon family– married or divorced– lived under this estate; it was one of the main reasons for its huge size. Additionally, it was passed down generationally– rumours have it that the Aculon family were actually Royals long ago, but they preserve their status in modern times via old money and investing.

Currently, the descendant of the estate was Fluixon’s grandfather, Solev, and grandmother, Alltiera. The grandparents were said to have Benji, who was said to not have any children, and Elanuelo, the father of Cynikka, Ender and Fluixon. The three of them were only related by their father’s blood– Cynikka, the eldest of the three, had a different mother who passed during child birth, whereas Ender and Fluixon shared another father by the name of Crow who married Elanuelo right after Cynikka’s biological mother.

Sharpness had also learnt that Cynikka was married to a man named Harvest and had a kid called Ezran. The two were currently away, out of the city for their father-son bonding time– Cynikka had stayed back to meet with Saparata when she heard of his return.

Maids came in to serve them some cups of tea, uplifting the atmosphere even more– with how the living room was decorated, Sharpness kind of felt like he was a princess having a tea party with her girlfriends during Victorian times, exchanging juicy gossip.

“So, will you be visiting Fluixon’s grave?” Cynikka asks, resting the saucer of her teacup on her thigh.

Saparata gives her a nod, “Yeah, it’s been a long time since I’ve visited, but this time I get to bring Sharp with me.” He replies, sliding a free hand on top of Sharpness’. The blonde instinctively intertwined their fingers together.

Cynikka and Ender gave them both a polite smile, but Sharpness could see the tinge of sadness in their eyes– they were talking about their brother’s grave anyways. Ender brings his cup towards his lips, blowing against the hot liquid. “He would’ve loved that for you, Saparata. His soul could rest easily knowing that his death didn’t affect your view towards romance.” The man commented softly, before taking a sip.

Saparata rubs Sharpness’ knuckles with his thumb, “I feel like he would’ve liked Sharp, anyways.” The blonde feels his cheeks blush, would he?

Cynikka sets her teacup on the table, “Well before you go, do you mind grabbing some flowers from the garden and bringing them to his grave? I don’t need to tell you which ones since you must remember his favourites.” She asked, folding her hands politely on her lap. Sharpness’ stomach churns at the thought, jealous over the fact that Saparata remembers his ex’s favourite flowers? Maybe, but he doesn’t have the right to be– Fluixon was dead after all.

“Yeah, of course, Cynikka. We’ll be out of your way soon.” Saparata returns, a smile on his face.

After some more chit-chatting, Sharpness and Saparata finally say their goodbyes and exit the house– only to start walking along one of the many, many pathways. Their hands intertwined as they walk, Sharpness finds himself kicking an occasional pebble. They eventually make their way to a garden where a conservatory stood in the middle, surrounded by beds of plants. A gardener greets the two and Saparata tells him about Cynikka’s request; the worker immediately gets to work, picking out the best bud of flowers.

He eventually comes back with a bouquet of freshly wrapped flowers, but Sharpness couldn’t help to notice some familiar ones– lavender, pansies and sunflowers– Lavender and pansies are Jude’s favourites, whereas Jude keeps on telling Sharpness that he reminded him of sunflowers. The blonde’s face contorts a bit, before asking Saparata something. “Sapa? Are these his favourite?”

Saparata nods as he inspects the bouquet, “Mhm! Lavender and pansies have always been his favourite, while…” He pauses for a while, thinking about the proper words to use. “..While sunflowers used to remind him of me.”

What the? Pause… hold on– Those were Jude’s exact words as well, what in the world..? “Huh.. interesting.”

Saparata turns to face him, nudging the flowers towards Sharpness. “Is it okay if you hold them? I think it’ll be better for me to drive since the place isn’t typically found on the map and I’ve been there multiple times, so I know my way around,”

Sharpness carefully grabs the flowers from Saparata, being cautious to not crumple their fragile stems. “Of course, my love.”

‿̩͙⊱༻☂︎༺⊰‿̩͙

The ride wasn’t too long, they reached the hills within ten minutes– although ten minutes felt excruciating to Sharpness as he tried his best to protect the flowers from the wind.

Saparata slowly inclines the car up the hill, following a subtle dirt path to the location. By the time they got there, it was late afternoon– almost evening; the sky was slowly darkening, turning into a light tint of orange, announcing sun down. Saparata parks the car eventually and the two get out, the wind here was stronger than on flat land, but nothing too much. Sharpness’ long blonde hair blows with the wind, dancing in the air. “Well, here we are. It’s just a few steps ahead–” Saparata says, guiding Sharpness by tugging on his wrist.

Sharpness follows his husband, taking in the view. White poppies and dandelions decorated the grass beds, they swayed with the wind as well. Large trees cover corners, yet they make the place feel safer instead of scarier. They eventually reached a place where a sculpture of a man stood, the stone material had slight moss clinging onto the base, but it seemed cleaned and polished nonetheless. Sharpness takes a look at the man’s features, a stern look and sharp hair– he looked a lot like Cynikka.

Separata lays the flowers against the base of the tombstone, before plopping himself onto the group. Sharpness followed suit, sitting next to him but his eyes laid onto the figure in front of him.

Saparata giggles right next to him, leaning his head onto Sharpness’ shoulder. “Magnificent, isn’t he? I bet he would’ve loved this sculpture of himself.”

Sharpness was at a loss of words, this really was his husband’s dead ex? “He looks a lot like Cynikka, despite being half-siblings.” He mumbles out, leaning his head onto Saparata’s.

Saparata nods slightly, “Yeah, I kind of agree with you on that one– she tries her best to deny it, but Elanuelo sure has powerful genes.” He wraps his fingers around Sharpness’ arm, hugging it.

Sharpness turns to Saparata, “Could you talk about him? I know you don’t like to bring him up as much, but I’m curious about your first love…”

Saparata thinks for a while, shifting towards Sharpness even more, “You know what? Sure, but I’m not sure where to begin, really…”

Sharpness shrugs, “Just start whenever you’re ready.”

“Well… I met Fluixon back in elementary, just like you and Jude. We weren’t really the best of friends at first, he kept on pushing me away whenever I tried to get close and all but you know, just didn’t seem to click at the time. Eventually, maybe like.. a few months into first grade, he started to warm up to me. Fluixon was the curious kind when we became closer, always wanting to know what I was doing at all times.” Saparata chuckles at the earliest memories, Sharpness’ mind drifts to a familiar purple-haired person.

“Ever since then, we were always connected, never apart. When there was an activity, we would always beg the teacher to put us in a pair.” He tucks a loose strand of hair behind his ears, “I would always come over to his place, the estate used to be bigger in my eight year old eyes– it still is massive though! But it was fun, especially with Fluixon. We’d ride his horses together, take a walk in his garden or even simply hang out in his bedroom. There were times where I was also allowed to watch him practice his violin with his tutor, sometimes they’d teach me too.”

“We’d also go to town together, just the two of us– spend our time in malls, hang out in a cafe, play in an arcade– you name it, normal kid activities.” Saparata nuzzles his head closer to Sharpness, “Middle school came around and I was supposed to not attend State school because my family was going through a tough financial crisis at the time, but neither of us could stand the thought of leaving each oher– so Fluixon told his parents about my situation and they were willing to sponsor my tuition fee. Because of that, we were allowed to do more things together. Made some friends and attended classes, I even joined his fancy clubs. I can’t thank the Aculon family enough. ”

“And then… seventh grade came around, Fluixon fell ill all the sudden. We all assumed it was something small and then he’ll be back in school eventually, but… we found out that it was a very fatal disease.” The atmosphere suddenly tensed at that, “Silly old me thought Fluixon was able to bounce back like he always does, but it was a terminal.”

“Till this day, we still don’t know how he got it… it just appeared in his system a few weeks after summer break and the next thing I knew, Fluixon was bedridden. He couldn’t get up for more than a few minutes without fainting or feeling nauseous, I still remember the amount of tubes that were connected to his frail body.” Saparata’s voice cracks slightly, Sharpness moves his hand on top of his husband’s knees, giving them a good squeeze.

“And he was still so, so sweet, thirteen year old me just had to fall in love with him– and I was just lucky that he loved me back as well. So, knowing that Fluixon’s time was limited and both of us acknowledged our silly teenage love for each other, we dated.” Sharpness could feel him smiling at the memory, his cheeks rubbing into his arm.

"Even though he was bedridden and going through heaps of treatment that constantly took tolls on his body, Fluixon still manages to buy me my favourite flowers and stuff– I just–” Sharpness could feel a singular tear fall from Saparata, soaking his sleeve. “He was perfect, Sharpness.”

“Somewhere around the start of eighth grade, things were looking promising– Fluixon looked like he was about to recover fully. We had hope, the two of us planned out so many things for our future. He wanted to marry me and live a peaceful life together, just us two and maybe some pets. It was exciting to see him all better, I promised I’d marry him one day.”

“But you know how life is… Fluixon started getting worse by fall, vomiting blood and stuff like that. His recovery process hit zero and he was back to square one, but he still tried to push through– I could see his determination to get out of that hospital bed and return back to school, return back to home, return to me.”

“Shit always hits the fan and his health was at an all time low, he was on his deathbed at that point. He couldn’t breathe properly at times, even crying his frustrations out was painful for him.” Saparata’s grip around Sharpness’ arm was tight.

“And then just right before he died, I could only fulfill one dream of his– and it was to get married to me. I didn’t– I didn’t actually marry him but I did go out of my way to buy us matching rings, I–” A whimper comes from Saparata, the memory was far too painful. “ –I slid that ring onto his ring finger, telling him that I will always love him. That ring barely stayed on with how small his fingers had gotten from malnutrition, but he still had the energy to hold my hand back one last time before he passed that night.”

Saparata had light tears rolling down his cheek after that last line, choking on his own words– Sharpness held his husband, arms wrapped around him. “I– Fuck, Sharp– I wish I could’ve saved him, I really do..” Sharpness simply just rubbed circles on his back, letting the man rest his head on his shoulders.

“I couldn’t take the grief anymore, so I did the unthinkable and exchanged schools… I feel like a betrayer to him for that, even though no matter how many times his siblings tell me that I am not– I just– I feel horrible.” Saparata continues to vent out, words slightly muffled from Sharpness’ shoulder. His eyes stung from the tears, Sharpness continues to hold him, occasionally muttering words of reassurance. Saparata clinged onto the blonde, fingers gripping his shirt, mumbling some nonsense.

Saparata eventually falls asleep in his arms, it must’ve been tiring to cry out years of frustration– Sharpness understands, so he slips his arms underneath Saparata’s knees and back, carrying him up. Just as he was about to leave, he couldn’t help but notice a silver band wrapped around the sculpture’s ring finger, a similar ring to his own.

That must’ve been the ring Saparata had mentioned.

And with that, he carries his sleeping husband towards the car– preparing to drive back to the hotel with the ombre evening sky.

By the time Sharpness reached the hotel, it was nightfall and the streetlights had been lit up. He manages to score a parking space within the hotel and carries the dead asleep Saparata to their hotel room. Holding his husband up with only one hand, Sharpness successfully unlocks the door and enters, shutting the door quietly as well. He lays his husband on the bed softly, making sure not to wake him up.

After tucking him to sleep, Sharpness heads for a shower– drowsing himself in warm water to cool his nerves.

It wasn’t long till Sharpness found himself back in bed, right next to his sleeping husband. He looks at the man, a hand stretched outwards to stroke his white hair. He feels bad for Saparata, having to lose someone so dear to his heart; but at the same time, they wouldn’t have been together right now if it weren’t for Fluixon’s death.

In his mind, Sharpness was guilty to feel kind of thankful for the man’s death. However, another thought enters– who would’ve Sharpness ended up with if it wasn’t Saparata?

He lets the thought sink in but he doesn’t really have an answer for himself, so he lets sleep consume him– There was no point dwelling on something out of his reach. Fluttering his eyes closed, he wonders what kind of dream awaits him tonight.

‿̩͙⊱༻☂︎༺⊰‿̩͙

Sharpness opens his eyes– he finds himself sitting on a park bench, facing the view of a pond during early fall; filled with fallen autumn leaves. Someone was right next to him, holding his hand as their heat radiates off them; it doesn’t take long for Sharpness to recognise who it was without taking a look, it was Jude. He was resting his head on Sharpness’ shoulder, fingers intertwined with his. Humming a soft tune while kicking his legs, Jude watched as mallard ducks fly around to migrate.

“Ju– Bunny?” Sharpness calls out for the man who immediately looks up at him, making their height difference even more noticeable. “Oh, you’re awake!” He giggles back, “Did you enjoy your nap?”

Was Sharpness always napping in these dreams? ‘Cause it seems like it. “Y–yeah, sorry about that…”

“Don’t be, you’ve been working hard at work. You deserve your little naps.” Jude told him, using his free hand to pat the man’s arm. “Working in the front lines is hard work, don’t apologise for that.”

Memories that Sharpness thought he never had appeared in his head, flashing through them within an instant– memories of him working with unfamiliar yet oddly familiar comrades, a sergeant who has led rows of soldiers into battle and currently was off duty, spending time with his boyfriend who was military engineer in the same field as him. That.. ought to make sense to Sharpness, his Jude was majored in mechanical engineering– they were practically the same person. “Well, I guess..?”

Jude smiles at him warmly, “Well now that you are awake, let’s get moving. We can’t really hog this bench all to ourselves.” He jokingly says, squeezing his hand tighter. Sharpness looks back to the lake, watching the cold wind pick out loose leaves off the already balding trees, the way you could only hear the faint whistle of wind and distant traffic. “But it’s so nice here, Jude..” Sharpness mumbles out.

Jude offers him a wider smile and chuckles, “Well, of course it is. But you promised to accompany me to the farmer’s market in the town square.”

Sharpness squeezes back his hand, “Alright, alright, let’s get going then.”

The purple-haired man immediately shot up from his seat and dragged Sharpness up, still holding each other’s hands. The blonde doesn’t mind one bit, he lets Jude’s warm hands hold onto his colder ones, feeling the tan, smaller fingers grace over his knuckles. Maybe this dream wasn’t so bad after all, Sharpness could only hope that it doesn’t end horribly like the last one.

The two make their way along the pathway, walking next to the road; traffic seemed much different compared to modern times, even the cars looked cool. Jude brings him out of the park and to a red convertible car, making his way to the passenger seat. Sharpness stares at the car before it clicks, this was the same exact car that Saparata’s father had– his husband did mention that it was a vintage, so it’ll make sense.

Jude looks up to Sharpness who was in immense thought, “Princess? Aren’t you going to open the door?”

Sharpness snaps out of his thoughts, “Oh– Wait, hold on–” He shoves his hands into the pockets of his coat, fumbling the key inside. Wait, how did he know that it was inside his pocket? Weird..

He unlocks the door by using the key, sliding it into the driver’s side cylinder and turning it. The latch gives out an audible sound and Jude opens his side of the door before slotting himself in, followed by Sharpness. Just like back in the actual word barely hours ago, Sharpness naturally revs up the engine and reverses his way out of the parking space. “You know, for someone who keeps on calling me a princess, you seem pretty comfortable as a passenger princess.” He teased, shifting the gear box.

Jude laughs, “I ain’t denying that!”

It doesn’t take long for them to reach town, how does Sharpness know where it was? That was a mystery that he doesn’t know himself. He found another parking spot soon enough and they were off.

The farmer’s market was packed, but not the obnoxious kind where you’re in a crowded train during rush hour– it was comforting, people talking and haggling over prices, colourful fabrics shown in stalls, rows of fresh ingredients on display. Jude pulls him through the crowd, hands held tightly so that Sharpness would never let go.

They visited each stall, Jude had bags filled with ingredients and other stuff, Sharpness did the honours of holding them. Sometimes they’d hang around a shop that sold pastries, Jude would’ve bought them and hand feed Sharpness because he had his hands full with stuff, he isn’t complaining about the pampering though. Jude would also buy him drinks and other snacks, feeding the blonde as they walked around.

They spent about roughly three hours at the farmer’s market, but they weren’t done at all. They did the pleasure of going back to the car to pack some stuff into the booth of the car, so that Sharpness could rest his arms.

The couple sat around the farmer’s market after finding a bench, munching away on pleasantries that they’ve gotten from stalls. Sharpness had gotten himself a croissant in paper wrappings and a glass bottle of soda, whereas Jude had a small basket of strawberries. They spent their food break with people watching and small conversations, the blonde couldn’t help but stare at Jude’s slightly bucked teeth that would peek out whenever he would laugh– it looked just like a bunny’s.

Their conversation soon dried out, but the silence was comforting. Jude had his arms around Sharpness’ singular right one, the small yet huge difference in size drove the blonde insane. He looks up into the sky, praying that Jude doesn’t see the fat blush on his face. What on earth was he doing? He had a husband in his life, Saparata; yet here he was, dreaming about his best friend.

Amidst his thoughts, Sharpness notices something fly past in the sky– it was loud, the engine whirring above their heads. Something about it felt off and Jude seems to notice this as well, his eyes stuck onto the blue sky. Warnings were going off inside of Sharpness’ head, instincts that he didn’t know he had started activating. He stands up, head high trying to find the source of the sound when suddenly– a high-pitched whistling could be heard from the distance before a sharp, intense shockwave hit the ground, explosions fired from afar.

Fuck, it was an attack.

Sharpness immediately grabs Jude by the arm, dragging him to run– and run, they did– as far as their legs could carry them, but they had a duty they couldn’t abandon. Stopping at their tracks, they realised they have a responsibility to fulfil– despite being off-duty, they were obliged to help people in situations like this, it was their job. Standing as they looked into each other’s eyes, people fled besides them; they had to help.

Sharpness and Jude ran the opposite direction, guiding people to safety as they did. He could hear Jude scream at the top of his lungs, using his hands to bring people to his attention. “Over here! Run this way!”

Sharpness enters buildings, trying to help as many people as he could to evacuate. More bombs dropped by, some close and others far. He feels his senses going haywired, but he had to keep upright to save not only himself but innocent civilians. Army personnels eventually reached the site, but they were rushing towards the core of the damage– and Sharpness sees Jude going in with them, what was he thinking?!

The blonde ran after him, his legs ached. The inner farmer’s market was in even more disarray, it looked completely different just minutes ago when he and Jude were inside– fires broke out, rubble all over the floor, buildings destroyed– there wasn’t enough time to think, he ran towards the closest pile of rubble, using his bare hands to free anyone stuck underneath. Sharpness carried injured people in and out, his chest heaving for oxygen.

The deeper he went into the town square, he spotted Jude going through building remains with another soldier by his side– Sharpness immediately ran towards him, helping them out. They managed to save a good amount of people, but they couldn’t go in any further, it was far too dangerous.

They were advised by the soldiers to evacuate immediately as more military jets flew by, the sounds of sirens wailing around to warn people. Without a second thought, Jude was the one to grab the other’s hand this time, thugging him to run alongside him.

Sharpness was tired, his arms were sore from tearing through rubble and carrying people out, small scars and bruises edged his skin– but he still had energy to hold onto Jude’s arms, their fingers tightly intertwined. They ran without looking back, the sirens cried louder and louder. The sound of more attacks landed on the ground, trembling where their footsteps landed. “Keep running, Sharp!” Jude gasped out, but it was clear that his legs were also giving out.

A louder whistle of a bomb drops a few meters away from them, landing onto a building. The ground shakes vigorously, and then it happens– Sharpness loses his footing, tripping over the tremble of the land.

And just as luck would have it, the building that was struck– its debris collapsed all over them, essentially trapping Sharpness’ lower half. “Jude!” He screamed, he really tried– this felt all too real to be a dream. Jude immediately drops next to him, hands scrambling to lift the rubble up– but even he had little to no strength left and Sharpness was buried under layers.

The blonde’s breath was rigid, tears swell in his eyes– the pain in his leg was all too much. Jude tried to reach out as much as he could, Sharpness tried to free himself, but they were stuck. “Sharp—hey, hey. it’s okay—” Jude tries to comfort him, hand reaching out to hold his face.

Sharpness tries to move his legs again, but they still were pinned down. “Jude—I can’t- I can’t move.” His voice broke as a sob crawled out his throat, it hurt.

Jude’s worried face looks at him, another loud whistle breaks out, closer this time. “I’m right here.” He said, quieter but painful. “Everything will be okay.” He tried to keep his composure, but it was clear as the blue sky that he was breaking underneath.

Sharpness puts his hands on Jude’s, the one which cradled his face— the other reaches out to hold his free hand, his thumb strokes Jude’s fingers, noticing the ring on his finger. It was the same one that he had proposed to Saparata, the same exact cutting. Another broken sob escapes his lips, “You shouldn’t be.” he whispered.

Another explosion rings out, they are getting closer. There was no doubt denying that this was their death. Jude’s hand, which bore the ring, turned around with a flick of his wrist and laid on top of the blonde’s, “Yeah,” Jude looked down, stroking Sharp's hand in a comforting manner. “I know.” It was horrible, Sharpness felt horrible.

Jude leaned closer, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m right here with you, i–it’s gonna be okay.” He mumbled, his own tears streaming down. Sharpness closes his eyes, he could feel Jude doing the same thing. Sharp’s fingers curled tighter against Jude’s shirt, holding onto it for dear life.

Just as another was dropped but directly above them, Jude muttered some words out.

“Save and love me in another life, Sharpness– as I will always do the same.”

Those were the last thing Sharpness heard before everything went white.

Sharpness woke up immediately, gasping for air. The alarm coming from his phone blares into his ears, it sounded way too familiar to the sirens in his dream. He has really got to change that tone, good grief.

Sweat rolls down his back, a hand covers his eyes. What the fuck was that dream?

“Another nightmare, huh? You’ve been getting a lot of these recently.” Saparata’s voice speaks from the other side of the room, Sharpness whips his head to his direction– he had changed out of the clothes from last night, wearing a new pair with a cup of coffee in his hand.

“Y–yeah, nightmare. Just another nightmare…” Sharpness runs the palms of his hands against his eyelids, it felt all too real.

“Well, I’ve already ordered room service– got your favourite, it's on the table.” Saparata shrugs his head towards the lounging area in their hotel room, directing him to the place. “Better get up soon, dear. We have to get to our next destination soon.” He said with a warm smile and it cheers Sharpness slightly, just ever so slightly.

“Of course, give me half an hour.” The blonde smiled back, but his heart felt heavy.

‿̩͙⊱༻☂︎༺⊰‿̩͙

The newly wed eventually makes it to their next destination, an historical sighting area that Saparata had wanted to visit for a while. Unlike Sharpness, the white-haired man loved history and enjoyed spending his time in the museum, Sharpness was only there because of him. Saparata and his father were similar in a sense because of that, just like the vintage red convertible that they had borrowed from him.

Speaking of the red convertible… Sharpness did the liberty to check its license plate before driving off to their new adventure, and atlas, it was the same exact numbers from his dreams. It made his stomach churn at the thought, what if everything he has dreamt of was actually true? It made him sick.

They waltz right into the entrance, showing their pre-booked tickets and getting their entrance bands on their wrists. They were set to follow a tour group, but that didn't start until another half an hour, so Sharpness and Saparata did a little stroll together. Even though their hands intertwined, Sharpness still couldn’t forget about his dream.

Matter of fact, the location they were at just made it worse– it looked just like his dream, and it creeped him out.

The replication, or that what he thinks it is, is far too similar, Saparata did tell him that they were going to visit a war site in the car, but to be the exact one from his dreams? Sharpness felt chills run down his spine, never in his life has he been even more scared.

In their walk, they accidentally walk into a duo they did not expect to see here– Tai and Noob– they were also at their wedding, but what on earth were they doing here? Noob notices the couple staring at them, he nudges Tai with a slight smile to get his attention. It doesn't take long for the black-haired man to notice what his friend was doing; and when he sees the couple, he raises his hands and starts to wave at them. “YOOO, SHARP AND SAPS!”

The couple walks towards their high school friends, giving them a simple greeting. “What are you two doing here?” Saparata asked, tilting his head.

Tai chuckles as he wraps his arm around Noob’s neck, who fails to dodge the action. “This guy actually has family members who live over here, we decided to pay them a visit and they suggested that we come here for the day!” Tai said proudly as he pointed towards himself, Noob in his deathly grip could only nod in agreement– clearly struggling a bit. “What about you two?”

“We’re having our honeymoon here. Plus, Saparata also has extended family over here, so it made sense to pay a visit.” Sharpness answered, shrugging his shoulders.

“Hey that’s nice–” Noob finally said something after freeing himself, “Some of our high school friends are also here– HD, Shandrea, Loppezz, Jaden– you name it.”

“Huh, guess this might be a much more popular spot than I realise it was.” Saparata says, hand holding Sharpness’ tighter. “Are you guys going for the guided tour?”

Noob and Tai nod in unison, “I’m guessing it’s the same for you two as well, huh?” Sharpness and Saparata return the gesture with smiles on their faces.

“Well if that’s the case–” Tai opens his mouth again, “We should head to the gathering point together! I’m sure they’ll be pleased to realise you two will be joining as well.” He suggested enthusiastically, and for once– they all agreed to his plan, making their way to the designated meeting spot.

Everyone gets together, some exchanging congratulations to the wedded couple if they weren’t present at the wedding– it was still lovely to see familiar faces every once in a while. The guide makes her way to their group, introducing herself and making sure that everyone could hear her voice through her speakers. Once ready, the group finally makes their way to the actual historic sight.

And by sight, was it marvelous– just like it was straight from Sharpness’ dream, everything was exact to its nooks and crannies– the stalls, the buildings, the sold goods– they even had some original sold items from the war recoveries of the area! Sharpness was shocked, gobsmacked, all of the adjectives that you could use to describe his level of surprise.

The only thing missing from the view was, well, Jude.

Sharpness’ heart sank at the realisation, he shouldn’t even be thinking of his best friend like that on his honeymoon! Get yourself together, Sharpness….

The guide explains about what had happened on the day of the attack, how the planes flew in carrying bombs which destroyed the area. She had so much detail, but it didn’t live up to Sharpness, who literally just experienced the event in his own dream the night prior. It was uncanny to be standing there, just as your dream-self died underneath a pile of rubble at the exact location.

The guide brings them into a building, one that has been reconstructed as it was one of the heavily affected buildings during the attack, completely crumbling to the ground. They had prepared an exhibition in said building, showing news reports and clothes of victims who passed or were injured due to the attack, some even had drawings which reenact the scene, photos from soldiers who managed to take pictures during the attack. The group went around, looking at the evidence of the event. While Saparata was still intrigued by the first item at the start, Sharpness zoomed past all the other visitors, determined to find answers. He glances at each and every item, trying to find some sort of proof that his dream was real– and that's when he stumbles upon it.

A large painting hung on one of the white walls, glowing under the spot light. It depicted two people stuck under rubble, one with long, blonde hair while the other had short purple hair. Both were men who seemed like they were in their early twenties, a hand held out to the one stuck underneath the rubble, holding each other comfortably. They had tear stained faces, yet their foreheads were against each other. The blonde had his hand gripped around the other’s shirt as he held his hand, an engagement ring that seemed too familiar appeared on it– it was them, it was Jude and him.

Sharpness’ throat closes shut as his mouth falls agape, was his dream.. telling him something? This was all… real? What? He steps back a bit, clearly shocked beyond repair– if this was real, that means he had loved Jude in another life and they were actually reincarnated.

He reaches out for one of the prepared brochures, trying to find any information about this painting. Sharpness reaches the page and reads its contents, ‘Made by a french artist, this picture was based on real witnesses, where they had reported two men, presumably lovers, stuck underneath the rubble. With their names still unknown, the only thing that is known about the two was that they served in the military and were engaged at the time of the attack. The couple had spent their last moments saving other people, only to be met with their demise.’

Sharpness could not believe his eyes, so everything was in fact real… Did that make the other dreams real? No, it can’t be… they all had really weird endings unlike the latest dream, which actually just ended in their death. The thought made his head turn, it was confusing.

But another question arises, why did he only get the dreams now?

And there was a hypothetical answer to that question– the letter. What else can it be?

Even if he wanted to, Sharpness couldn’t open the letter right now because he had left it in the hotel room. Yet despite all of these strange occurrences, he’s still willing to wait till he gets back home to open it.

Whatever, it's just another day and then they’ll be flying off.

Deep in his own thoughts, Sharpness fails to realise someone approaching him from the back– they hang their elbow on top of one of his shoulders, which causes him to snap back to reality. But he slowly realises who it was– Noob. “You’ve been staring at this painting for some time now, any particular reason?” He asked, his red-coloured eye glaring back at him.

Sharpness opens his mouth to say something, but he pauses, does he admit what he has been facing for the past few days? Or does he just drop subtle hints? “I– Y’know, it's just that the painting seems a bit familiar. Especially the people in the painting, don’t you think it looks a lot like—”

“You and Jude?” He interrupts his sentence with the correct answer, an eyebrow raised.

Sharpness sheepishly looks back at the painting, “Yeah…. Jude and I.”

Noob straightens himself up, changing the elbow on Sharpness’ shoulder for his hand. “Look dude, I don’t know how to put this without seeming like a weirdo but I’m going to be very honest with you.. Everyone thought you were going to date Jude during middle school, like no joke. The pining between the two of you is insane, imagine how surprised I was when I found out you liked Saparata instead.” He said, “Don’t get me wrong, you two look absolutely good together. “

And then he delivers the final blow, “But did you seriously not see Jude’s fat ass crush on you? Like at all?”

“What…?” Sharpness asks, confused out of his mind– What on earth was Noob talking about?

The other man stares at him dumbfoundedly, before patting his shoulder. “You’ll understand it someday, Sharp.” He reassures, an awkward smile on his lips.

The fuck?

Noob takes his leave, returning back to wherever Tai was– which Sharpness does the same, walking around to find Saparata.

A million thoughts rushed through Sharpness’ head, was Noob insinuating that Jude used to like him? No, that’s silly– Jude would’ve admitted that in front of his face.

He puts the thoughts aside. For now, he’ll just concentrate on finding his husband first.

‿̩͙⊱༻☂︎༺⊰‿̩͙

After most of the exhibitions, the guide brings them to a separate market place where they sold similar products during vintage times– food, items, drinks– just to give visitors a feeling of what it felt like before the disaster struck.

Saparata brought Sharpness to a pastry stall, the smell of fresh bread hit their noses immediately. It just made Sharpness sick to his stomach, especially when he ended up choosing a croissant wrapped in paper and a glass bottle filled with soda; the last thing he ate in his past life dream before he died.

He looked over at Saparata who was still browsing the selection, a hand resting on his chin. “Hmm…” He ponders, eyes looking between two pastries. “Actually– Sharp, can I just have some of yours? I want to get the basket of strawberries from the fruit stall, they look pretty fresh.”

Sharpness swallows his saliva, fuck. The same exact thing Jude had in his dream, everything was just playing out in this modern time but with Saparata instead– even the bloody car. His hand shook as he held the bottle, what if something bad happens to them as well? “Yeah, of course, baby.”

He lets Saparata sink his teeth into the croissant, watching the man– he looked adorable, munching on the snack. Maybe nothing bad will happen?

They made their way to the fruit stall and got the basket of strawberries, settling down on a bench. It faced the crowd of visitors passing by the stalls, watching them buy and enjoy themselves. Sharpness took his time to absorb the view, realising that this was the exact same bench in his dreams– his life has got to be a joke at this point.

Saparata turned to face him, a strawberry popped into his mouth. “Hey Sharp? Did you see the painting back in the exhibition?” He asked suddenly, pulling out the leaves off the strawberry.

“Yeah, I did…” He replies, wondering why his husband was asking him such a question. “Why’d you ask?”

“Don’t you think it looks like you and Jude? I mean, the purple hair and the long blonde locks?” Saparata mentions, pointing at his hair.

“Noob said the same thing, we were both looking at the portrait.” Sharpness chuckled, the lips of the bottle touched his own. “The resemblance is kind of uncanny, don’t you think so?” Saparata nods as he pops another strawberry into his mouth, “Crazy, I almost thought it was you two.” He laughed with his mouth full.

Sharpness takes a swig of his drink, if only Saparata knew.

They spend the rest of their day wandering the makeshift town square, before heading for dinner with some of their friends. Sharpness’ mind was still filled with his recent discovery and the fact that his best friend was still missing.

‿̩͙⊱༻☂︎༺⊰‿̩͙

Sharpness and Saparata spent their last day in their hotel, doing absolutely nothing and using the facilities they provided. Spas, swimming in the pools, eating in their buffet, travel guides that the hotel provided– you name it. It was relaxing to do absolutely nothing meaningful for a day, settling down the day before their flight. By the end of the day, they packed up, preparing to leave the next morning.

The blonde could not sleep the entire night, staying wide awake– so no dreams, not for now at least.

With a blink of an eye, the couple finds themselves in the airport after returning their rented car– Ender lended a hand and sends them to the airport alongside Sidefall who decided to tag along despite how early it was. After a heartfelt exchange of goodbye between Saparata and his friends, both him and Sharpness walked through security, preparing to board their flight.

Their hands intertwined, they walked along the hallways towards their domestic flight. It was such a shame that their honeymoon was finally coming to an end, but the two had fun nonetheless, keeping the memory engraved into their minds.

Although another thought has been haunting Sharpness this entire trip, the dreams finally had answers and he didn’t know what to say. The envelope that his groomsmen had found in his room right after the wedding weighed heavily in his pocket despite only being a few grams. Who knows what was written in it, and he was going to figure it out the minute he got back home.

After another eight hour flight back to Strength, they managed to get back before evening, the afternoon sun greeted them the minute they walked out the airport doors. The couple manages to hail a cab and maneuver their way past the afternoon traffic, making it back home in less than an hour.

They gave their thanks to the driver and unloaded their luggages from the trunk, making their way to the front door of their shared home. Somewhere located in the suburbs, an investment from both of their parents when they finished University. Sharpness missed the coziness for their home, just ready to crash on their bed.

With an unlock of the door, both Sharpness and Saparata were welcomed home. They quickly get to work– unpacking their bags and doing their laundry from the trip, completing tasks as quickly as possible to get it done with.

Saparata carried their dirty clothes to their washing machine, leaving Sharpness to unpack the rest of their stuff– toiletries, packing cubes, even the luggages. The minute he puts away his luggage, he lies back down on the bed, completely exhausted from the long trip. It’ll definitely be a while till he is travelling again, now all he has other things to get to.

Sharpness sits up right and shrugs off his coat, reaching into the pocket. He pulls out the envelope, chucking his coat somewhere to the corner of the room. The paper material stares back at him, he has been aching to open it, to read it the minute he had gotten it, but he went against his temptations, listening to the simple instructions listed in ink at the back of the letter.

He slowly peels off the opening of the letter, untucking it from the slit that sealed it all. The envelope crumpled slightly as he tried to pull out the note inside. It was folded tight into the perfect shape, Sharpness easily undos the letter; reading it slowly.

The letter read;

“My dearest Sharpness,”

“Let me tell you a secret that I have been keeping to myself for a long time.”

“I haven't been honest in my speech, I actually met you in a different life. A past life if you could say. I remember your long blonde hair and those gorgeous olive eyes everywhere. We had a relationship before this life, but only I remembered it, not you.”

“We were much closer back then, we weren't just friends– we were lovers. We died in a war, I still remember you being stuck under rubble as you begged me to say. Which I did, I held your hand through it all and we died together. Being able to see these memories but live in a body that wasn't your just felt like torture, the universe was just torturing me.”

“And because I still retained those past memories, I fell for you again. Like the time I managed to guess that you disliked bitter melon? That wasn't luck, that was from a past experience. Our eighth grade dance party? I switched with Saparata because he had told me that he liked you, it was something I still regret daily.”

“When I found out you two were dating, my heart completely shattered into a million pieces– because I just knew that I would never stand a chance against Saparata, I knew you loved him so much. But I loved you too. That information broke everything I had in me, I didn't have the will to live anymore– but I kept pushing because if the universe gave me one last chance to have the memories of our past life, then so be it. I was meant to relive this life without you as my partner. I didn't come to junior HOCO cause I couldn't stand the thought of you kissing another man.”

“When you showed me the engagement ring you had gotten for Saparata, it was reaching my breaking point day by day. Not only did I want to be the one that you married in this life, but I was engaged to you in our past life, the ring you gave Saparata was the same exact one you gave me then. I was bonded to you, I always have been. I didn't want to see you propose to another man, so I declined the invitation for you with a lie. A lie to protect myself.”

“And now that you're married to him, I am no longer relevant in your life. It pains me to let you go like this, especially since I had you once in a different life. I never wanted to attend this wedding, but you're just so precious to me– I couldn't say no.”

“My love for you will last an eternity, no matter how much it harms me– I will always love you, Sharpness.”

“By the time you're reading this, I have disappeared from your life. I have decided to leave– whether it is through death or just moving across the world away from you– I cannot keep this up any longer, my sweet Sharpness. It is killing me alive day by day, month by month, year by year.”

“For as long as my memories will keep intact,”

“I will always love you, my Princess.”

“Always yours through death and sorrow, Bunny.”

“I will miss you.”

Sharpness’ mouth went dry, he couldn’t breathe properly. He rereads the letter over and over again, making sure he didn’t mistake the content for something else– but no, what he was reading was his worst nightmare. He had put Jude through years of pain and suffering without realising it, without meaning to.

His throat tightens, mind going crazy– Is this why Jude disappeared? Was it years of unrequited love of this life and the memories from the past life that had driven the man to his pushing point? Sharpness brings his hand to his hair, combing it with stress. What was he supposed to do now? He starts pacing around the room, still reading the letter.

Just as luck would have it, Saparata enters the room, an empty laundry basket in hand. He notices Sharpness’ stress pacing, “Sharp? Is everything okay?”

Sharpness looks at his husband, hands dropping to his sides. Saparata notices the open letter in his hand, a concerned expression washes over his face immediately. “What… What was in the letter, Sharpness…” He sets the basket aside, slowly stepping towards Sharpness.

The blonde doesn’t hand his husband the letter, he simply rubs the palms of his hands against the top of his head. “I think… I think Jude might’ve killed himself.” He said, tears swelling up in the corner of his eyes.

“What!?” Saparata shouted out of shock, “Sharpness, what do you mean?!” He tried to reach for the letter, but Sharpness was much taller than him.

“I– I don’t know, Sapa… We have to go to his apartment now.” Sharpness says, pushing past his husband to exit the room, running out and down the stairs. Saparata just followed suit after him, grabbing a jacket on his way.

The two quickly exit the house and hop into their car, reversing out of the garage and onto the driveway– Sharpness immediately steps onto the accelerator, increasing the speed. They didn’t have time to waste, they had to go and see Jude.

“Sharpness! What is going on!” Saparata begged for an answer, watching the pointer of the speedometer go higher from the passenger seat.

“I’ll tell you when we get there.” He replies, his voice hushed but rushed.

Within minutes, they reach Jude’s apartment complex and find themselves a parking spot, before running into Jude’s block. They trailed up the stairs with hurried steps, they didn't have the time to wait for a lift. Sprinting down the hallway, they finally make it to Jude’s door.

It was eerily quiet, nobody has really been here. ‘“Sapa, has anyone checked in on Jude? Especially in his house?” Sharpness asks, tucking the letter into his pocket.

Saparata shakes his head, “No– not that I’m aware of, Parker had a meeting to attend to and hasn’t found the time to search for Jude. I’m not sure about the rest, but he’s practically uncontactable.”

“Call him.” Sharpness demanded before starting to search around the area, he knew Jude left a spare key somewhere around here.

“But– Sharpness, we’ve tried to call him multiple times before, he doesn’t answer! Why would you ask me to call hi—-” Saparata gets cut off mid rant, “Just call him! Trust me, Saparata!” Sharpness raised his voice a bit, still searching around. He was on the ground, prying open a small security box near the door.

Saparata goes silent for a while, Sharpness rarely raises his voice at him– so this ought to be serious. Without any more questions, he pulls out his phone, dialing his best friend’s number.

For once, the line goes through— ring, ring, ring–

Saparata gasps at the sound, previously the call wouldn’t even go through. It just made Sharpness pry the box faster, trying to get to the key.

From the other side of the door, a faint ringtone can be heard and it wasn’t Saparata’s. The familiar tone of The Bonnie Song plays, it was clear as day to be Jude’s phone.

Sharpness finally gets the box to open, revealing the spare key– he immediately grabs it and shoves it into the keyhole, unlocking the door. He pushes the door open quickly, making his way inside. The ringtone only grew louder, the couple steadily walked past the living room and kitchen.

They reached the source of the sound, Jude’s bedroom. The door was slightly open ajar, letting the ringtone fill the tense air. Sharpness pushes the door gently, only to reveal an empty room– no Jude, no nothing. His bed was tidy, clothes neatly packed into the wardrobe, books meticulously arranged in the shelves– the only thing that was out of place was Jude’s phone vibrating on his bed from the call and another envelope on his study desk.

Saparata ends the call on his own phone, going over to pick up Jude’s from the bed. It was odd really, to see Jude without his phone; he was a busy man and always had it in his pocket.

Sharpness on the other hand makes his way to the desk, picking up the envelope. It was the same exact one from the letter in his room and the best man’s speech– it made the blonde sick to the stomach. He slowly opens it, reading the contents of the next letter.

“To whoever it may concern or was unfortunate enough to find this letter,”

“This was written just maybe a few minutes ago, the ink will still smudge if you bothered to wipe your fingers against the words.”

Sharpness did as the letter said and it was true; the ink slightly smudges from the words, casting a small patch.

”If anyone is in fact lucky to find this today, this is my suicide letter. My last words.

“I write this as a goodbye, my will has already been settled by my lawyers– but I never really told them the reason why I wrote my will at such a young age.”

“To start, I want to say that I’m sorry to my parents. I didn't talk to them much, didn't want to bother them with the burden of a useless son. I’m sorry that I wasn’t the best child, always got into trouble.”

“Parker dearest, I only met you in high-school, but it was a good experience. I know we both won’t admit it out loud, but I like to think that we are very close friends– you were always there for me, especially when I couldn’t clean up my own messes. The day I found Sharpness and Saparata cuddling on his bed, I cried when I called you and you still bothered to pick me up; you let me rest in your house. The day we all got the invitations for their wedding? You were there when I fell into a depression loop, you even helped me during the wedding– bothered to find me in the bathroom when I had my breakdown. You held me up when I couldn’t, and I never got to properly thank you until now. I hope my death doesn’t affect you, I hope you’ll get a better life away from my commotions. I’m sorry, Parker. Thank you.”

“Godis and Bitzel, the same applies for the two of you— despite us being acquainted only because of Parker, you two bothered to still become my friends; even though you guys have seen the worst of me. I can’t thank you enough– especially you, Godis, I was encouraged to finally tell my feelings to Sharpness with your words, but not in a way that you’ll agree to.”

“Cow, we weren’t as close as I’d thought we’d be, but I thank you for keeping this all a secret from Sharpness. You understood that it would’ve hurt me more to see him upset about this than to suffer without his acknowledgement– I seriously can’t thank you enough.”

“Saparata, if this letter even manages to reach you– Please take care of Sharpness for me. I love the man dearly, I loved him so much till I was willing to let him go for you. Don’t feel guilty when you read this letter, I truly believe that you two were made for each other. It’s my own thoughts that have corrupted me to be this way, it was never your fault. So please, make sure you two live the best life after your wedding without me.”

“And for Sharpness, I’ve already left you a letter before this one– but I have a few more words to say. Thank you for all those years as friends, but I can’t handle the pain anymore.”

“However, if you are lucky enough, I’ll be at the cliff side on the eastern hill, but I only want to see you alone. Come and protect me one last time.”

“I love all of you but I can’t handle my heavy heart anymore,”

“With Love, Jude.”

Tears hit the paper one by one, the hand that held the letter trembled in fear— this is one of Sharpness’ biggest fears. Saparata who was reading behind him clasped his hands over his mouth, eyebrows furrowed together as his pupils jitter around. “Sharpness, I– I didn’t know–” He says, his voice unstable.

Sharpness slowly puts down the paper, tucking into his pocket. He brings a hand to cover his own mouth, letting the tears slowly drip down his face. They both stayed in that room, silenced and completely shocked.

“Sharpness, you– you should go to him, now.” Saparata urges, a hand reaches out to hold Sharpness’ forearm.

Sharpness doesn’t move first, completely rooted to the ground with an unsettling guilt deep in his heart. He didn’t know what to do, he wanted to run to Jude but his legs wouldn’t move. His eyes looked at Saparata, the glossy olive orbs filled with lost. His husband nodded slowly, encouraging him.

In utter silence, he retrieves the car keys out of his pocket with a tight grasp. “Call Cow and Parker, let them know what is going on and stay put here.” Was all he said, holding onto Saparata’s free hand, caressing the knuckles— usually he would’ve kissed it, but this time it felt terrible to do so, felt disrespectful in a way.

Saparata nods and retrieves his phone, pulling his hand away from Sharpness’ arm, dialing their friend’s number. Sharpness takes the chance to bolt out of the apartment and back to his car, he had a bunny to save.

After rushing through traffic and violating a few laws by going over the speed limit, Sharpness makes it to a hill that was located a bit further away from town. People tend to come here for hikes and stuff, he remembers when he first came here with his father and Jude for a camping trip back in middle school– they had a blast roasting marshmallows and telling stories over the campfire. He wonders what made Jude pick this specific spot?

Sharpness follows the dirt track, the street lamps start to light up as the evening sky takes over. After a few more agonising steps, he makes it to the end of the path– a cliff side. It was pretty rundown, the fences weren’t really properly set up, leaving the edge unprotected; and there he was– Jude, sitting on the edge of the clif, his back facing Sharpness, looking onto the sunset. The hill was located at the east, so the end of the cliff was facing directly west, just where the sun usually sets. The orange sunlight shines, leaving shadows behind the purple-haired man.

“Jude?” Sharpness calls out, his voice shaking.

Jude turned his head around slowly, only glancing at Sharpness for a while before looking back at the sun. The blonde slowly makes his way to his best friend, his tear stained face felt cold against the light wind but the sunrays felt warm on his skin.

Jude simply chuckled at his seat, “For some reason, I knew you would come. I didn’t think you’d listen to the instructions.”

Sharpness was dumbfounded, he just stood there. “Bunny….”

Jude fully turns around, “Yes, princess?”

The blonde kneels onto the ground, his hand reaching over Jude’s shoulders, holding them tight. “Don’t.” He croaked, “Please…”

The man simply smiled back, it was as comforting as a hug; but Jude looked absolutely tired. He had darker eyebags underneath his eyes, his hair didn’t sit right, even his lips were chipped slightly. Sharpness just stood his ground and held tighter, not letting go.

Jude didn’t say much, he simply slid his own hands on top of Sharpness’ and leaned into the touch. He hummed in acknowledgement, but his tone screamed something else. Sharpness’ eyes wander around the man in front of him, has he always looked this sad? “Jude?”

“Are you here to protect me?” He asks, magenta eyes locked onto olive green ones. Sharpness realised how dull they looked compared to his memories, even in his dreams they were brighter. The blonde nods eagerly, another set of tears streaming down his face. “Yes.. Yes, I am, Bun.”

Jude’s eyes travelled to the ground, biting his lips. “Are you sure? Even after all those things that I admitted in that letter?” He asks again, his voice barely above a whisper. “How can you still look me in the eyes?”

“Yes, Jude– Why wouldn’t I? You’re my best friend.” Sharpness chokes on his words, he wants to tell him about the dreams he has been having, the realisation of it all, his discovery.

The magenta eyes looked away in amusement, almost like he expected the answer. He doesn’t say much, Sharpness assumes that he has been rethinking his choices. The blonde gets up and offers Jude a hand to hold, which the purple-haired man takes; with a small lift, Jude was back onto his feet, standing in front of Sharpness. He immediately scoops the shorter man into a hug, his arms around his waist and his head resting on his shoulder. Jude hugs back lightly, he felt weak in Sharpness’ arms.

“Please, just–” A sob tears from Sharpness’ throat, “You could’ve said something all these years.” Jude doesn’t respond, he nudges his head closer to Sharpness’.

Sharpness slowly lets go of his torso, a hand holding Jude’s. “I’m sure you’re tired, we can go back and talk about it.” He tells him, tears still rolling down his face. Jude’s eyes flicker between their hands and Sharpness’ face, an uncertain look on his face. “Please..” the blonde begged, curling his fingers to hold onto Jude tighter.

“Sharpness…” Jude whispers, the evening wind blows past them.

“Yes, bun?” Sharpness answers– Jude looked magnificent in the sunset, the ombre colours complimented him so well.

“I hope the sunset reminds you of me. Just like how the sunrise always taunts me for not being able to love my Sharpness the way I did before, torturing me every second.” Jude spoke, he had the biggest smile on his face as he delivered that line with tears pooling in his eyes.

What?

“I’m sorry, Sharpness. I love you.”

And with that, Jude lets go of his hand, booking it towards the cliff edge– Sharpness almost doesn’t register it, his hand reaching out to the escaping bunny. “Jude!”

Jude leaps over the edge of the cliff, letting gravity sink him to the heavy forest below. Just like that, he was gone.

“Judelow!” Sharpness cried out, fumbling to the edge of the cliff. He was on his knees, clawing the edge. The trees below were filled with leaves, blocking his line of sight, he couldn't see where Jude had landed.

But as a loud thud echoes from the bottom, followed by the terrified screams of other hikers– Sharpness knew Jude was as good as dead.

His whole world collapsed around him, his ears were ringing. Sharpness falls back, hands around his mouth– he had just watched his best friend die right in front of him, something that he somewhat caused.

Sharpness felt nauseous, he wanted to throw up. All he could do was cry on that cliffside, forehead against the ground as he grieved.

Jude was dead and there was nothing he could do about it.

His bunny was gone forever.

I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you in this life.