Chapter Text
Ugh.
Where even am I?
I mean, I love the silence, because I'm an introvert, but this… great empty mass of blackness that stretches on forever is not really that fun…
I can sleep as much as I want, no disturbances needed, no using the bathroom, getting up, eating, yeah I'm running out of things to say.
Anyways, I believe introductions are required.
My name is Daryl, and I kinda didn't realize that killing myself would end me up in an endless expanse of shadows.
You say you want to know about my death?
Hm. Unlikely. But, I suppose I can tell you.
I was one of those people who suffered the world's… uh… what would anyone call it? … Cruelty? Meh.
I always had trouble keeping myself alive, but I managed to stay alive for about 16 years because of my ‘first friend’ (HA! Take that, Subaru!) who just so happened to be my only friend. She helped me through a lot and became the only reason I wanted to survive a day, let alone keep going.
I wonder how she's doing?
Ugh.
Like I said, this place is horrid. There's nothing to doooooooooo!!!!!!
I have to admit, I was probably a bit delusional in my first life...
I was all about how 'Maybe I'll be reincarnated after death or isekai’d I dunno.', and 'What if I got reincarnated into Murder Drones? That'd be pretty fun!', normal things like that you know...
I ended up reading so many fanfics about Murder Drones in my first life.
Like 'A Dumbass Isekai Protagonist's Guide to Surviving Murder Drones' by Joecola, and 'RED WYNTER' by Doodle_Dood02.
I thought.... i had hoped I would be reincarnated.....
I guess I was wrong.
——————(...)——————
I'm so bored here…
I don't even know how long it has been…
I thought my life was stupid.
But what even is this place? An eternal torture chamber?
Huh?
I feel ... suction?
I feel myself getting pulled across the endless void.
Definitely not a terrifying ordeal, I was NOT screaming the whole time ... (yea okay you caught me.)
But like- ow! How the HELL can i feel pain like this?!?! Wait, why do I feel pressure all over my body?
——————(...)——————
... Why do I see blue text in my field of view???
Ooookaaaaaayyyyy, maybe thinking about reincarnation and Murder Drones was NOT a good idea...
Shit.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck what do I do!?
[Rebooting]
You know what, fuck it we ball.
COME AND GET ME ROBO SATAAAAAAN!!!!!
Time for deicide! Maybe…
Oh dear lord, I'm just like Joseph. I woke up and decided to commit deicide…
[Reboot complete]
I find myself shooting straight up with my hands on some kind of... hospital bed?
I turn around a notice... A drone who was dressed like a doctor who was on standby approaches me. “Hello. My name is Dr. Mudd. Say something if you can hear me.” (oh no! It's Samuel A Mudd! Wait didn't he get arrested in like the nineteenth century eh whatever)
“Hi?” I reply. My voice sounds different.
Oh shit, now that I think about it, my eyes are gone. Gone!
“Oh. Good. You're not some kind of zombie drone. How are you feeling?” Mudd asks me.
Oh shit. Fuck. Fuckity fuck. Goddamnit why did I have to choose the worst universe to get reincarnated into for God's sake there's literally a Robo-Satan in this world. I mean, at least there's no eldritch horror asking to be let in (yet) but oh what would I give to go back to the void? Oh well.
I quickly check over. “I have a minor headache but that’s it.” (The robot equivalent of headaches of course)
The doctor nods, noting that down on his notepad. Wow, I thought. Actually competent drones!
“Where am I?” I ask, my robotic sounding voice rings out in the silence between us.
“You’re in the medical bay of Outpost 3. We found you outside in the snow. You appeared to be running something similar to a hibernation program.” (oh what is that explanation lmao)
“Uh huh.” I say as my eyes eyemotes widen. Well that just increased the chances I have of Robo Satan possessing me and using me to commit genocide and mass destruction.
“Alright. We have a couple of questions to ask you.” He proceeds to actually ask the questions “So, do you have a name? How did you end up out on the surface? How old are you?”
“Of course I have a name. I'm Daryl.” I reply. “I don't actually know how I ended up out there, and” I say as I run system diagnostics, “I'm pretty sure I'm eight years old.”
The doctor notes that down. “Are you sure you do not remember what happened?”
I nod. “I have no clue what happened up to this point. I don't have any memories up until this point.”
The doctor nods too. “We'll run some tests to make sure you are fully functional.”
I get out of the bed-like thing, preparing myself to do those ‘tests’ in a new body.
“Do five jumping jacks” I did that quite easily.
“Run two laps around this area.” Harder, but still easy.
“Alright. You're good to go.” I deadpan at the doctor. That's it?
“You've been diagnosed with amnesia, so you have a couple of days before school starts.” The doctor reminds me. Right. I have school.
“Can you, like, give me a map or something?” I asked. ”I don't know my way around here.”
Mudd smiles, and I hear a ding as a notification pops up on my visor. Right. I was a robot now. I will definitely abuse that function so hard.
——————(...)——————
I close the door to what is apparently my hab, and flock on the lights as I take a look around my living space. There was a spacious living room, connecting to a hallway, that connected to the kitchen, a closet, and a bedroom.
Well! I have an undetermined(for now) amount of time to prepare for an eldritch horror that will descend upon me in a couple of years.
Oh dear God, I don't feel so well... I'm about to crash THE FUCK OUT!!! WHERE'S THAT DAMN EMOTIONAL SUPPRESSION PROGRAM!?!?
——————(...)——————
I had muted my voice box for that duration of which I screamed, but I eventually found the repression program and repressed all of this.
Never gonna mention this to anyone.
Anyways, problem is I just got isekai'd into a world I know will probably fuck me up. I need some steps into this situation.
Step one: Do not die.
That would seem easy, but then there are the sheer fucking STAGGERING amounts of death and people getting killed in this universe, but I don't think anything starts before canon, which is nice to know. (And there's also my depression but I doubt it'll affect me in any way)
So, like Joe said, befriend Doll and Uzi so I do not get mauled by a possessed drone (or am less likely to). Then we have to get ready to commit deicide because, last I checked. I very much did NOT want to go back 'there' a SECOND time. There is also pretty damn good chances anything could go wrong if I just leave things be, so for the sake of not returning to the void.... I have to fight the robo satan...
Then there's the added factor of the disassembly drones. If we could turn them (because of the like objective non interactive thing) then they'd be a great help in defeating the solver!
Step two: the people.
I checked the database and Nori, Yeva, along with Mikhail were dead. So that placed me somewhere specific in the timeline, because apparently Yeva and Mikhail had died two days before I arrived.
Right.
I should've split this up like Joe did. Three sections. Solver drones, murder drones, and worker drones.
First, the solver drones. Uzi, Doll, Nori, and Yeva. If I remember correctly, mechromancy should be possible.
Uzi, the little purple grape, the emo girl, the gremlin. The main character of the show. I'll try to fix her social life, but that's not a promise.
Doll. The, uh, was it deuteragonist or antagonist? I forgot my stuff. She is much more experienced in solver affairs. Best to avoid her or make friends with her, considering she just watched her mother die and is probably traumatized.
Nori, the crab thing, the deadbeat mother. She's kinda useless for the time being since I'd rather not take my chances with robot velociraptors.
Yeva. She and Nori were apparently actually half sisters, so that means Uzi and Doll are, I believe, hopefully not wrong terms, twice removed cousins.
Now, onto the second type of drone. Murder drones.
Let's start off with the one that will take longest to turn. J. She seems to be caught up in her delusions of the company. If we could convince her of T̶̫̱̘̓̓e̵̹̟̲̫̹̿s̴̙̠̓̚s̶̬̄̀a̴̺̾̐̎̚ being alive (or dead, whatever) then we should be able to get her to switch sides.
Next is V. She seems to be a psycho murder thing, but that is only a mask. N’s memories keep getting reset, so V is just in an endless cycle of torment.
On the topic of N. He is a literal golden retriever, I swear. Maybe that's why Č̴̢̧̡̧̣̞͈͕͚̘̙͔̠͙̰̱͓̠̠͆̊͗̔͆̿̂͛̽̇̇͆̾̏͊̽̄̕̚͝͝͝y̶̡̧̗̞̯̖̲͓̼͙̫͚̳̖̘͈̣̬̰̬͓̦͍̖̒́͛̊͋̈̑̈ͅn̵̢̢̹̣̙̤̥̳̞͇̠̺͈̞̤̲̭̱̼̮̹̝͇͈̰͕̣̞̩̖̐̏͝–
[ERROR]
Um. I only thought of Č̴̢̧̡̧̣̞͈͕͚̘̙͔̠͙̰̱͓̠̠͆̊͗̔͆̿̂͛̽̇̇͆̾̏͊̽̄̕̚͝͝͝y̶̡̧̗̞̯̖̲͓̼͙̫͚̳̖̘͈̣̬̰̬͓̦͍̖̒́͛̊͋̈̑̈ͅn̵̢̢̹̣̙̤̥̳̞͇̠̺͈̞̤̲̭̱̼̮̹̝͇͈̰͕̣̞̩̖̐̏͝'s name, it shouldn't–
I saw in the bottom left corner of my visor, there was a small string of text.
[AbsoluteSolver = True]
Oh shit. Oh shit.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Oooohhh fuck.
I have the Absolute Solver.
God ... FUCKING... DAAAAAMN IIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!
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Edit (5/18/2026): Changed the "month" before school starts to "days" before school starts to make space for 'stuff' between chapter one and chapter two.