Chapter Text
Dazai.
Fucking goddamned Dazai.
He’s late. Again. For the third time this week, and it’s only Wednesday.
I simply do not understand how-
A woman enters the agency. She is armed, and has red hair. Kyouka looks happy to see her as soon as she comes in, and greets her. Ozaki Kouyou. An executive from the Port Mafia.
“Ane-san! What a wonderful surprise!” Dazai comes up to greet the woman politely. He looks carefree- well, maybe a bit guarded.
“Lad, the same to you. I have a request, if you have a moment?” She inquired politely, yet firmly.
“Anything for my Ane-san.” He replies.
Dazai sits her over at a little table.
“So? What was it you needed to me do?”
“My translator was out sick today, but we just got paperwork back from the French Government. I would ask Chuuya, but he was busy on a mission.” She stated.
“Ahhh…I see! Suresy! I can help with that. Though, I do wonder, the Port Mafia does have French translators. I made sure to have at least two of all their current, and likely future business partners before I left.”
“Taneko-san is busy in France at the moment, and the other, as I informed you earlier, is sick.”
“I see, Well! I can get this done for you innnnn….about ten minutes!” He chirped.
So, for the first five minutes, the agency, void of Ranpo, was in shock. Dazai, the suicidal maniac, the guy who skips work and never does his paperwork, was, well- doing paperwork. Kunikida was utterly silent, not only enraged at the fact that he was happily talking with a Port Mafia Executive, but that he was doing work for them.
Dazai, sitting there in his chair, was writing with both of his hands. He was writing incomprehensibly fast, and his eyes were darting back and forth in mere seconds from each paper. He was writing two reports of the French document. One was in Japanese, and the other was in English.
“Do you have a tea set, here, lad?” She had asked after a moment of silence.
“In the cupboard under the coffee machine, Ane-san.” He said without looking up.
“What tea did you bring? Is it the good one from Taiwan?”
“Yes, it seems to be your favorite?”
“Mhhm, it is! But I’ll take any tea my Ane-san gives me.”
“Well, I’ll be sure to send you some when my next shipment comes in. Still the apartment by the Port, I presume?”
“Mhmmm! Anyways! I’m done.”
Over the next few minutes, they talked and sipped their tea.
“-as I was saying, because the French want to send some new medications to the Port, it would be smart for the Port to buy more of the pain relief medications compared to actual equipment. Mori already has-…”
Their conversation droned on in the background, and Atsushi had to poke Kunikida out of his blank stare at the two.
“Uhh…Kunikida? Are you okay-“
“WHHHHATTTT THE HELLLL! DAZAI WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US YOU COULD SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?”
Kouyou looks over at the blond man, and narrows her eyes.
“Is it really such a surprise to you? Dazai brought in a lot of profit for the mafia. Also, he was in charge of our Foreign Affairs committee, he speaks more than just English, French, and Japanese. He speaks Russian, among many other languages fluently.”
“W-W-WHATTTTTT?!!!” Kunikida yelled in disbelief.
“It’s not like you guys ever asked!” Dazai interrupted.
“Anyways, lad, thank you.” Kouyou says, getting up.
Dazai walks her to the door of the agency. After Kouyou is gone, Kunikida yells at Dazai for ten minutes straight. After his reprimanding is done, Dazai goes back to being lazy on couch. As Kunikida is doing his paperwork, he thinks about the fact that Dazai has such a relationship with an executive from the Port Mafia. This..is going to be trouble.