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“This is fucking bullshit.”
Nico really wished this wasn’t happening. Everything about the situation she was in was unfavorable. Her shirt was riding up and making an uncomfortable bunch under her back, her feet were cold, her face felt way too greasy for having washed it last night. She really, especially hated the way her unused, morning voice had cracked halfway through “bullshit” and made her sound way less serious about the magnitude of her hatred.
“I can’t believe Nico-cchi just swore!” Tooru gasped, raising his eyebrows annoyingly, and annoyingly not budging any of his four limbs that were trapping Nico in her special hell.
“Believe it, bitch,” she grumbled. She really didn’t feel like trying to muster up the energy to try and push him off. Experience taught her that even if she tried, she wouldn’t be able to get away from his vice grip. But then again, when had she ever listened to a lesson in her life?
“Fuck oooooooooff,” she groaned, wiggling around and getting her arms and legs in between them, pushing against his body with all her strength.
“Don’t you just love the feeling of waking up in the warm embrace of someone you love?” Tooru grinned sunnily, pretending Nico wasn’t struggling to get away from him. “It makes you feel so happy and light inside!”
“This is so fucking unfair. You weight like four times as much as I do, you should only be allowed to use one arm to fight.” She continued to strain to get away from him, managing to free herself by a few inches. “I need coffeeeeeeee,” she whined.
“No you don’t! You need love~” As Tooru sung the last part, in one movement he let go of her with his arms and flung his body on top of her, resting all his weight on her torso and fully ensuring her captivity.
Nico grunted with the sudden weight pressing down on her. Tooru was at an angle where it didn’t hurt, but it did stop her from ever being able to get away, unless she spontaneously learned how to jutso-flip someone. He turned his head to look at her, folding his arms under his chin and smiling peacefully. Nico did not smile. “If you don’t get off of me in exactly zero seconds, Oikawa Tooru, I swear to every god worshiped by mortal humans I will make your life hell on earth.”
“That’s why I love you,” Tooru giggled, smiling genuinely, making Nico’s heart skip a beat.
“I’m so unbelievably offended,” she spat once she recovered, her salty defense mechanism kicking in.
“And…?”
“…I’ll say it when you get off of me.”