Archive of Our Own

Dick Grayson was anything but ordinary. You’d known it since you’d first seen him, standing in line for coffee while his three-legged pup wagged her tail ferociously at his side. You’d known it since he’d pulled out every clichéd move he could in order to get your attention. Yet, for some reason, he was acting ordinary.

“Seriously, Dick, where are you?”

You pulled your phone away from your ear, looking at the time. It’d been an hour since you’d gotten your reservation. You could see the twenty something waitress watching from the corner, eyes sympathetic as she watched you leave yet another voicemail. “I’m leaving the restaurant. I’ll see you when you get home from wherever you are.”

You ended the call, signalling the waitress over. “Hey, could I get this to go? And the cheque?”

“Of course,” she smiled, eyes sorrowful for someone she didn’t even know as she walked away from your table.

Sighing, you eyed the rice and curry dish you’d ordered because you knew it was Dick’s favourite, only for it to go cold in your wait for him. He was supposed to be there an hour ago. Dick rarely was late for a date with you, except lately he’d been away from home more times than not.

By the time you’d made it home after paying for a meal you didn’t even eat properly, all you wanted to do was go to sleep. Haley greeted you at the door, tail wagging wildly.

“Hi sweetheart, I missed you too,” you crouched down, letting the three legged pup jump into your arms before standing up. Your neighbour, who you’d asked to dog sit, smiled up at you as she got up from the couch. “Thanks for looking after her. I hope everything was alright.”

“Of course, don’t worry about it,” Maggie waved you off, instead taking away the takeaway bag you’d set at the entry table and moving towards your kitchen. “Should I keep this in the fridge?”

“Yeah, thank you Mags,” you called out, scratching behind Haley’s ears as you set her down. “I think Richard might be holed up in a case today.”

“They really work them to the bone down at the police department, huh?”

“You’re telling me,” you laugh, leaning against the counter as Maggie turns towards you. She eyed you with some pity, she used to be your roommate back in college back in Metropolis, and somehow the two of you ended up living next to each other now in Blüdhaven, a few years later. “Thanks once again.”

“Please, I’d do anything for you.”

“You’re just saying that because you get my dog,” you narrowed your eyes playfully. Maggie chuckled, raising her hands up in surrender.

“Guilty.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” you asked, dropping the act as you followed your friend to your entryway. The two of you carpooled to work together.

“Bright and early, babes. Goodnight.” Maggie shut the front door behind her.

You sighed, making your way into the bedroom as you shut off all the lights, the sound of pattering paws following you. Once you’d settled into bed, Haley curled up by your side, body resting on the empty pillow where Dick usually slept. You checked your phone once again to see if you’d gotten a message from your boyfriend.

“Goodnight, baby.”

Haley simply nuzzled closer, soft snores escaping her mouth.

Warm sunlight creeped into the bedroom under the thick curtains, curling around you as you woke up. As if having a bodily clock attuned entirely to your sleeping habits, you could feel Haley shift in her sleep from where she’d curled up in your side during the night. Turning to your side, you reached over to find the bed empty, the covers still warm. Dick must have left some time ago.

Ignoring the dull acknowledgment at the back of your mind that Dick hadn’t even woken you up to tell you he was leaving (something he did every morning without fail if he had to run out the door), you made the rounds through your morning routine, trudging towards the kitchen where there was a plate of eggs and toast on the island counter. Next to it, sat a mug of warm coffee that had a sticky note on its body, a bright hot pink piece of paper that explained his absence.

Good morning sweetheart. I’m sorry for not waking you up, they need me down at the precinct. I’ll see you tonight. Love you babe! Dick.

He’d drawn a heart next to his name.

Before you could even think about it, you felt a cold nose nuzzle your leg. Haley was looking up at you with big eyes, ears dropped and a low whining noise like she’d never seen a lick of food in her life.

“Alright missy, let’s get you your food,” you laughed, busying yourself with breakfast for her, and heating up the breakfast that had cooled down on the countertop.

At 9 sharp, a loud knock echoed throughout the flat, and Haley at once sprinted to the door, barking in excitement. You chuckled, knowing Maggie would let herself in with the copy of your key. “Rise and shine sweetheart.”

“Hi honey,” you smiled, as both her and Haley walked into the kitchen where you’d been packing the leftovers from yesterday’s dinner for lunch. Maggie had clipped on the pup’s leash, and was straining to restrain the excitable Pitt bull. “Shall we?”

Maggie nodded, eyeing the food you packed with pursed lips. “Yeah, let’s go. Can’t have the children waiting.”

“No we can’t.”

Blüdhaven had a surprisingly well run and updated recreational center, especially since how close the city was to Gotham and its high crime rate. Maggie, Haley and you made your way towards the dance studios located further inside the building, both of you setting up in rooms opposite each other. Haley took some laps of the room, inspecting it while you set up the speaker and the barres for the incoming class.

While Maggie was a Pilates instructor, you were one of the few dance teachers that taught outside of the Gotham & Blüdhaven Dance Conservatory. Thanks to funding from Wayne Enterprises, you found yourself managing on your lifestyle easily enough in the city.

Before long, students began piling in, all talking about how their week was at school and weekend plans. You let them converse as you pulled out your phone when it buzzed, hopeful for a text from Dick, but it was just your mother checking in on the family group chat. Frowning, you texted him once, before setting your phone next to your bag.

“Alright, girls and boys,” you clapped your hands together, calling their attention away from your pup who had happily rolled over in the center of the room for everyone to give her belly rubs. “Whoever does warm up flawlessly gets extra Haley time and doesn’t have to help me clean up.”

At once they all stood tall, while Haley, as if she could understand everything, trotted over to your side, watching with curiosity to see who would be the lucky person to shower her in attention and affection. At least teenagers paid attention to you.

Your post-lunch time was lighter for once. Since the Conservatory had yet to decide on a summer ballet, you had a moment’s reprieve before getting swept up in daily rehearsals along with your usual classes. You’d waved goodbye to Maggie, who’d finally gotten a date with the cute receptionist, instead walking back with Haley, who trotted along proudly with a large stick she’d found on the ground.

“We’ve got to drop it once we reach home, okay girl?”

Haley simply whined, moving faster. You chuckled, letting her bring the stick up with her as you entered your apartment building. You’d throw it out before Dick came home, besides, Haley would forget about it by the time she woke up from her nap later in the day.

“Come on, in we go.”

You pushed the front door open, letting the three legged pup in before following yourself. You’d just barely shut the door when—

“Hey.”

Startled, you turned around. Dick was in the living room, dressed in a simple pair of denim jeans and a t-shirt, smiling up at you from the couch.

“You’re home early.” You pointed out the obvious, moving to the kitchen instead. Setting in the dirty dishes from your lunch earlier, you spoke up again. “Did you finish the case?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, that went well.”

Haley followed in after Dick as he leaned next to you against the counter. He was watching you carefully. “Can we talk?”

You huffed, scrubbing the dishes harder than required. “What’s there to talk about?”

“Sweetheart—“

“Don’t ‘sweetheart’ me right now, Richard Grayson,” you looked at the man next you, setting the washed dishes aside. Straightening up, turned to face your boyfriend, who was fiddling with his fingers as he waited. “Where were you last night?”

Dick grinned sheepishly, the use of his full name causing him to panic. He rubbed at the skin at the nape of his neck, the hair there ruffling at the movement. “I. . . er— I was busy.”

You watched him carefully, studying his face. Ever since you’d known him, Dick had always been somewhat closed off. He’d grown up in the spotlight, something you knew that wasn’t always his favourite, at least when he couldn’t have full control over it. You understood, being the son of Bruce Wayne meant he had a lot to carry on, especially as the oldest of four. But never once had you been unable to understand Dick Grayson since you’d crossed paths with him.

“Can we not do this right now?”

“I’m sorry,” Dick called out your name, following you into the bedroom. You shook your head, moving towards the bathroom to take the shower you were looking forward to on the way home. “Let me just— baby, please.”

“Dick, what’s there to talk about?” You sighed, rubbing at the sore spot behind your eyes. “You weren’t there last night because you were too busy to come home from work, and now you want to give me some excuse for why you ditched me. Seriously, I don’t want to do this right now.”

“Sweetheart, please, let me just explain myself.”

You huffed out a breath, looking up into his eyes. His blue eyes were dark, shrouded in guilt for not being there, swimming with sorrow. “Am I going to get the truth?”

“I’m just— it’s complicated.”

“Well,” you made a sound that would’ve been a laugh in a lighter moment. It was more air than anything else. “Let me know when you uncomplicate it. I’ll talk to you later, Richard.”

You shut the door to the bathroom before he could hear your sharp breath, trying the best you could to not cry.

Rain petered down towards the city in soft caresses, kissing Blüdhaven’s skyline with joy. The summer heat no longer felt trapped against the city’s caged lungs as she breathed in the cool breeze.

Dick had left to go back to his place after you’d basically shut him out. Haley, who looked confused at the fact that her father was leaving so soon, stood scratching at the door as he did. In the time you’d been together, Dick had barely been back to his own flat, most of his stuff living in spaces you’d cleaned out for him, his own life morphing into your own. The most time he’d spent at his place was during long patrolling nights, where he didn’t want to wake you up.

He was perched on the rooftop across from your building, in the shadows of the night as he watched you and Haley playing in the living room, his pup wagging her tail with glee as she waited for you to throw the ball in your hand. Usually, Dick would be there too. On a regular night, dick had the privilege of holding you in his arms.

The rain slanted in cool spurts against his domino mask. He’d finished patrolling hours ago, but couldn’t face himself to go back to an empty house, now just a place to keep his belongings, to keep anything he didn’t care about. He wondered if the reason the two of you were still awake was because you were just as unnerved as he was at being away from you.

He watched you staring at the front door, as if willing Dick to walk through the door by sheer determination. You stood there for a moment longer, before rubbing at your eyes as you shut the lights off. He watched you curl into his side of the bed, Haley tucking herself into your side.

Nightwing could handle a couple more hours of patrol. Rain be damned.

Dick walked in as your students were filing out of class, a bouquet of flowers in his hands. The teenagers looked at him curiously, whispering amongst themselves. You knew they were going to bring this up as many times as they could next class. The thought brought a soft smile to your face.

“Hi, can we talk?”

You sighed, nodding. Dick smiled, taking tentative steps towards you and holding the bouquet out, lips pulling up slightly more as you took it from him. Camellias and white chrysanthemums were stuffed in between wisps of baby’s breath and other flora. He must’ve had this made personally for you.

“The flowers are pretty.”

“Thank you.” You could feel Dick’s eyes on you as you inspected the bouquet, feeling the softness of the petals. “I’m so sorry about forgetting dinner sweetheart. I really didn’t mean to, I was just occupied with the case—“

“Dick, seriously, am I going to ever get the truth?”

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is this,” you gesture between the two of you, frowning. Dick’s brows furrowed, his lips parting to protest, or maybe to defend himself but you continued on, your emotions spilling out of you, everything finally overflowing. “You never tell me what’s going on with you, and you’re never home anymore. I don’t know what you’re doing but I can’t keep living with you like this.”

“No please,” Dick called out your name, voice full of everything he could never tell you. “I’m so sorry, I promise nothing is going on. I can’t— I can’t tell you.”

“Dick, what are you involved in? Whatever it is, I can help you out. . . We can go to your father, he can help.”

Dick’s eyes watched panic flit across your face, fear holding strong in your watery eyes as you scanned him over for any sign of something wrong, something hurt. It broke him to know that even through everything he put you through, somehow you were still more worried about Dick. “I love you, and I promise I’m alright. I need you to trust me.”

“How do you expect me to do that when I don’t know what’s going on, Dick?” you were trying your hardest to hold back your tears, your breath hitching at the effort. It felt Herculean, the weight against your ribs feeling stronger than your will to not break down but you pushed through it, somehow. You saw Dick trace the movement, his eyes now swimming in ocean blue sadness. “I can’t do this anymore. Not while you keep me in the dark.”

“So this is it?”

You could feel your lip wobbling, sucking in a sharp breath as you tried to steady your racing heart. You just wanted to be able to know what was going on with Dick, but all he seemed to do is shut you out. “I think you should leave. I’ll drop Haley off tonight.”

“I’m sorry,” he spoke softly, his voice thick with emotion as he called out your name. “I love you.”

“I know.”

The door shut softly behind him, your tears finally slipping past the threshold.

Dick took the long way home. He tracked a pebble with his foot till he reached his apartment building, the silence greeting him in a loud, resounding echo. Donning the suit felt more like a chore than something Dick did in order to protect his city. He hadn’t felt so empty since he was eighteen, since he had once lost a brother before he could’ve fully been saved. And even though Jason was back in his life now, he still can see the child that never got a chance to fully live.

Pulling out his phone, he saw your name show up on his notifications: you’d made a post about your role as Puck in the Conservatory’s summer ballet performance for A Midsummer Night’s Dream. He knew you’d do an amazing job, and he went to speak up on it before realising where he was. He shook his head, texting Barbara that he was moving out for the night.

“Nightwing, do you copy?”

Dick tapped once on the comms device in his ear, in order to check its snugness before speaking up. “I’m here Oracle. Moving out now.”

Eyes shaded by his domino mask, he fled out into the cover of night in Blüdhaven, making his local rounds in silence, only sparsely broken by Barbara giving him directions to the warehouse where one of the Scarecrow’s lower level goons held some of his new chemical ware. Bruce had tipped him off about them working out of the city, and instead of having his brother come here on Bruce’s behalf, Dick had volunteered himself for the job. And now, he was more than glad he’d decided to go that route.

“Alright, you’re almost there,” Barbara’s voice felt faraway despite the fact that she was speaking right into his ear. Dick hummed to acknowledge his presence, “keep in contact, Nightwing.”

“Yes.”

Dick scanned the warehouse, an old perfumery ad from the 1920s painted onto the outer walls in fading paint. Decades of grime and soot cover it, graffiti and random posters peeling off the name of the brand, covering its history.

Would you change your mind if you knew about his second life?

He eyed the number of guards, pulling out self imploding bat-discs, tossing them towards the corner of the entrance and waiting on the smoke to distract them before dropping down. By the time the fog lifted, Dick had disarmed the guards.

“I’m going in,” he muttered, sticking to the shadows, much like his training called of him. This was a simple in and out job, taking inventory and possibly getting rid of the evidence, as Red Hood would like to do it (minus any major property damage).

Sticking to the edges, Dick entered in through an open window, sticking to the beams as he scanned the area slowly so Oracle could see what he was seeing. The silence was loud as he waited on a response.

Would you still love him if you knew the truth?

“All clear, take the samples and that’s a job done,” Oracle’s voice snapped him out of his reverie. He couldn’t afford to get distracted now.

Landing on his feet, Dick moved silently, gathering the chemicals required that he could take to the manor tomorrow night during the monthly Wayne family dinners. The first one in a while you wouldn’t be attending with him.

Dick could feel his chest cave in, the sinking worry that you wouldn’t let him find you again.

“I’m done for the night, Nightwing out.”

The comms device crackled with Barabara’s voice again. “Copy that, see you tomorrow.”

And then silence greeted him, already feeling like an old friend.

You woke up to Dick on your couch. Haley had curled up on his chest, snoring in contentment. Despite yourself, you paused, taking in the man who’d cramped himself into a space not big enough for him. For the first time in a while, you got to trace the exhaustion in his face, the way it clung onto the space below his eyes, how it seemed to seep out of him in droves. What were you up to, babe?

Deciding to let him sleep longer, you took the spare blanket, draping it over the both of them before moving towards the kitchen to prepare breakfast for three, something you hadn’t done in a while.

Dick wandered in as you cleaned up after Haley, who already sat by the island counter where you’d laid out breakfast for the two of you, sitting pretty like she’d not just eaten food herself.

“Morning, sleep well?”

Dick yawned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He’d come over after patrol last night, having changed at his place before coming over. He was meant to leave before you woke up, only wanting a way to be near you, at least until he learns to sit with the silence. “Sorry, you weren’t supposed to know I was here.”

“So, you’re breaking and entering now?” You chuckled, passing him a mug of steaming hot coffee, extremely sweet and exactly to his liking.

Dick winced, bringing the mug to his mouth.

“When you put it like that. . .”

“Baby, there’s not a single way I could put it where it would sound nice,” you shook your head, too busy with buttering your toast to notice the way Dick’s breath caught in his throat at the nickname that slipped past your lips. Baby. . . babybabybaby—

Sunlight hugged every corner of the open plan apartment, warming up all its corners as the two of you ate in silence. For once, Dick didn’t find it pressing in on him. It felt almost . . . comfortable, like skin he could slip back on, one he’d never learned to let go of. You were being bathed in it, the sun warming around you as if you were its source.

“So,” you began, dragging the word out, “what’re you doing here Dick? People don’t typically wake up with their significant others on the couch the night after breaking up.”

“I— I’m sorry, for everything. One day, I promise I’ll tell you everything.”

You nodded. Dick never once had not followed through on a promise he’d made, but yet lately, that’s all he’d seem to do. You didn’t know when everything changed. “I’m sure you will, Dick.”

“What can I do to make you believe me?”

You saw Dick’s hand come in your line of vision. When you looked up at him, he took hold of your hand gently, as if afraid you’d leave, or maybe even make him leave. He didn’t want to think about which one would hurt more.

He was watching you with eyes that had been more open than anything in the past month. You could see the guilt shadowing the baby blues, a month’s worth of promises he’d failed to keep showing up and fulfilling. You knew that he was genuine, Dick had never given you a reason to believe otherwise, but you couldn’t just rely on genuineness anymore, not when he was clearly not being fully himself with you. You needed to be able to understand why he was suddenly shutting you out.

You squeezed his hand softly, gently. “I just want you to trust me again. You’re always there for you, you’re my person. Let me be there for you.”

“I can’t. . . Trust me, I’d love to but I just— I love you too much to let anything happen to you.”

You frowned, “Dick, living in a place like Blüdhaven or Gotham means I’m always going to be in danger, you can’t stop that. I just need you to let me in.”

“I can’t.”

You sighed. Dick felt cold encase him when your hand went limp in his hold, his heart beating wildly. He placed both his hands over yours, cradling them.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Give me a chance to.”

And maybe it was stupid of you to have hope about it, but this was Dick. He was your Dick, the same man who stayed up late with you while you spent hours perfecting each move before your performances, there for every time you’d stressed out and spiralled over your capabilities on stage, on every little place you’d messed up. Dick had been there through it all. You never knew how to truly be mad at him, and maybe that was your cross to bear, but you still had hope.

Dick was still the only person who’d managed to hold your heart without breaking it, it wasn’t fair of the circumstances to expect you to hope for anything else except what you’ve always had. You just hoped he still had faith in doing so himself.

You placed your hand on top of his, something like a smile tugging softly at your mouth. Dick could feel his heart slow down as you looked at him, eyes wide and telling. This was his last chance.

“Show me.”