Chapter Text
Wonjin scrolled through his twitter scoffing. He could not believe what he was seeing. His timeline was full of people shipping him and Jungmo.The two had become one of the most popular ships if not the most popular among the CRAVITY ships. People would get excited over any of their interactions and discuss them all over social media. They even had a group of fans that specifically supported their ship. Wonjin had a hard time understanding why anyone would think that they would make a good couple. They were not close in real life and they would never ever be. The probability of a romantic relationship, in Wonjin's opinion, was zero.
“What's wrong?” Hyeongjun asked him. He had noticed Wonjin scoffing for a couple of minutes now.
Wonjin turned his head to Hyeongjun, who was lying on his bed. “Nothing” he replied.
“Don’t lie” Hyeongjun was not buying it. He knew Wonjin well. “Don’t tell me that you are reading hate comments again” The older one had the habit of reading through hate comments and sulking over them for days.
“Well, they don't really are hate comments but…”
“Then what ?” the main dancer interrupted him. He was growing more and more suspicious. The older one was acting weird.
“I was literally trying to explain” Wonjin scoffed. “My twitter timeline is full of people shipping me and Jungmo”
Hyeongjun rolled his eyes “If you hate being shipped with Jungmo hyung so much, why is it all over your timeline ?”
“I don't know either” Wonjin let out a big sigh. He really didn’t know but it was insufferable. He couldn’t stand seeing all the shipping anymore.
“I absolutely understand that it is frustrating for you but block your ship name or something. You aren’t forced to see all of it. It's because you keep obsessing over not being shipped with him ” the other countered. Wonjin was clearly obsessing over this. It was getting worse everyday.
“I get that there seems to be some history but I really don't understand why you hate it so much. It's not even like you don't like being shipped. It's just him”
“You know why”
“Do I ?” Wonjin rolled his eyes at Hyeongjun's response. He knew why he hated it. He had told him before after a drunken slip.
“Yes, you do”
After going back and forth with Wonjin for a couple of minutes Hyeongjun decided to give up.
“You know what ? Whatever. Can you please stop scoffing so loud I am trying to sleep !?”
Wonjin was bewildered. This was his room. He could scoff as much as he wanted. Hyeongjun would occasionally sleep in his room whenever it was too loud in his shared room with Minhee.
“This is literally my room” he eyed Hyeongjun.
“And ?”
Wonjin just stared at Hyeongjun for a while but Hyeongjun didn’t care much and continued his sleep. How was this guy his best friend ? He really wondered sometimes but his heart was weak for the little main dancer.
Wonjin stood up to let Hyeongjun sleep in peace and made his way to the living room. He thought about Hyeongjun's words, maybe he was really too obsessed with the whole shipping thing. It was just that it annoyed him so much. While members in other CRAVITY ships could escape the shipping in their private lives, Jungmo and Wonjin were even shipped by people around them. Just the other day, the make-up artist had suggested that they were rooting for their relationship. Wonjin was seriously done with this. He couldn’t understand how people in their daily lives thought they were a match when they could see they aren't even remotely close.
“Ah you are home ?” a voice pulls him out of his thoughts. It was Allen who greeted Jungmo who just came back from his solo schedule.
Jungmo smiled at the older one and told him about his day. During the whole interaction Jungmo didn’t even spare Wonjin a glance. In fact he had completely ignored his presence although the younger one was standing right next to them. Wonjin also spent no effort in acknowledging his presence and directed his attention to the eldest.
“Allen hyung, family dinner is today right ?” Wonjin asked, interrupting the two elder’s conversation. He didn’t know why he had interrupted the conversation, he knew that their family dinner was today.
“I think so.” the older man replied. “Right, Jungmo ?”
Wonjin knew that this was Allen`s effort to make the conversation less awkward but somehow it made everything worse. Wonjin could feel time stand still.
“Hmmm…. hyung, I will go and say hi to Woobin” Jungmo replied and went straight into Woobin's room. Allen just raised his eyebrows and looked at Wonjin who shrugged.
Jungmo couldn’t stand the awkwardness. He tried hard to avoid interactions with Wonjin but sometimes it was just impossible. Jungmo didn’t like fighting and negative feelings, so he would just simply ignore the younger. It was the easiest way to avoid trouble. He had nothing to say to him anyway. It was a miracle that they appeared close on camera.
“Do you two always have to be together ?” Jungmo said laughing as he spotted the leader and main vocalist cuddling on the bed.
“Well obviously, he is my boyfriend.” Woobin replied, making Jungmo chuckle. The two had been together since their early debut days. They had danced around each other during their trainee days until Woobin had decided to make his first move and to confess to Serim. Serim didn’t even think twice, he said yes right away. Ever since they have been annoying the other members with their PDA.
“What are you doing here ?” Woobin asked as Jungmo was fidgeting with his sleeves and staring at the window.
“I came here because I missed my best friend” he winked but Woobin just rolled his eyes at him.
“You literally see me everyday” Woobin was right, they saw each other almost everyday but still why were all the friendships in this group so full banter?
Serim who had just silently observed their conversation had finally jumped in.
“Is everything okay, Jungmo ?”
He would usually let Woobin and Jungmo do their antics but he could feel that Jungmo had something to say. Jungmo would never admit if something was wrong. He was the type who would understand others with just a glance but when it came to him, he had trouble understanding and expressing his feelings. Jungmo often relied on Woobin figuring it out for him.
“Its just so awkward.” Jungmo replied to the oldest of the group. It was awkward and Jungmo felt helpless. Sometimes he just wanted to let go of all the negativity and mend his relationship with Wonjin but he felt like it was already too late. Their relationship was already buried in too much pain.
“Because you make it awkward. ” Woobin said immediately. He didn't need context. They had this conversation often enough to know exactly what was happening. Serim slapped him on the thighs for his comment. This earned Serim a “what did I do ?” stare.
“You are not helping him.” Serim told him.
“Jungmo, I get that you two can’t stand each other. But when your issues start hurting the team’s dynamic that's when it becomes a concern for all of us”
Jungmo understood Serim's point of view. It was affecting the team's dynamic.The group was walking on eggshells when it came to the two. But Jungmo just couldn’t let go of this. People might see him as selfish, thinking that he needed to get his shit together but the truth was that this was the best he could offer.
“Seriously though, you two act like two teens that broke up with each other not like people in their twenties that didn’t even come close to anything like dating” Woobin rolled his eyes. Well, he was partly right. They didn’t date and break up but what happened to them surely felt similar to it.
“No seriously, what the hell happened between you two ?”
“Babe…” Serim interrupted. “You know that they don't want to talk about it” to which Jungmo nodded violently.
“How are we going to give any helpful advice if they don't tell us ? I swear they got along well during our trainee days” Woobin put his hand in the air in his signature pose.
“Just help me make this less awkward.” Jungmo said, now almost begging. Just free him from the awkwardness.
“Dude, this is literally on you”
“Dude, you can literally just help me”
“Dude” Woobin stressed even more “There is literally nothing I can do. Get your shit together or tell me”
“Okay, stop” Serim tried to calm both of them down.
“Whatever you are feeling is valid” Woobin huffed at that. “I would just ask you to not blow this up. Conflicts in a group big as ours can't be avoided but I want you to handle this like adults. I won't tolerate any less”
“I get that.” Jungmo replied. He really did. It was just so hard. Woobin rolled eyes again. He was really exhausted by this topic.
Suddenly it knocked on the door. It was Taeyoung telling them that food was ready.
“Let’s go” Serim said “ I have an important announcement to make”
All the 9 members sat on the kitchen table eating and enjoying their food. Ever since they had decided to all move back into one big dorm they have been trying to eat together at least once a week. The leader thought that it was an important ritual that helped them spend time together outside of their work environment. It worked pretty well for them besides the little adjustments they had to make because of Jungmo and Wonjin drifting apart. When CRAVITY was having dinner they made sure that Wonjin and Jungmo never sat next or across from each other. While this may seemed childish, it was for the peace and well-being of everyone. This way they could at least avoid conflicts on the dinner table.
Serim put his chopsticks down and cleared his throat. All attention was on him now.
“Shownu and Kihyun hyung are getting married this month. We are all invited”
“Wow finally, I am so excited.” Taeyoung said as everyone cheered.
Even though the Hyungs had moved companies, they still considered them as their big brothers. They had received endless love and advice from them. When Shownu and Kihyun announced that they were a couple the nine hadn't even debuted yet, but they rooted for them with all their heart. It also changed a lot for them, while the older couple had a hard time getting support from starship, Serim and Woobin were free to date from day one.
“They had one more request.” Serim said, now visibly nervous. “They want Jungmo and Wonjin to sing a congratulatory song together.”
Everyone held their breath, they knew what would happen next : Absolute Chaos.
“Say that again” Wonjin seemed to be very uncomfortable. Wonjin tone made everyone tensed. This was exactly what they wanted to avoid during family dinner. Serim instantly regretted announcing the shocking request.
“Here we go again.” Seongmin said, shaking his head. Seongmin was never afraid to say what he was thinking especially when he thought that his hyungs were acting like fools.
Allen signaled Seongmin to stop. Any comment had the ability to navigate the conversation into the wrong direction. It was best to just stay put and watch.
“You know that they really like how your voices blend together. This is in no way meant to make either of you uncomfortable. Kihyun hyung even said that you don't have to do it. They just wanted to offer you the opportunity in case you were ready” the leader explained.
He could see how Wonjin was still very tense. Jungmo on the other hand seemed very collected the whole time Serim was speaking. Serim wasn't sure if this was a good or bad thing.
“I mean this sounds fair to me” Minhee tried to reason with the two. “You can just say no if this is too much.”
The rest minus Jungmo and Wonjin nodded at that. The future grooms wouldn't be angry if they choose not to sing the song together.
“I am sorry but it's a no for me.” Wonjin said firmly. There was no way he was singing a duet at a wedding with Jungmo. This was just impossible.
“Well, I don't mind doing it.” Jungmo finally said, staring at Wonjin. “It's just like any other performance, right ? We have to perform together on a daily basis anyway. There is no difference” he shrugged.
Wonjin was fuming. There was no difference ? How could Jungmo act like this was just so easy ? Wonjin rarely got mad, but something about Jungmo just ticked him off. He felt so much anger towards this man.
“No difference ? Oh, it's so fucking easy for you, and I am the one whos being fucking dramatic. I said NO” Wonjin said agitated. He was now standing. Woobin who sat next to him grabbed his arm just in case.
“Language, please.” the main vocalist said. He was getting really frustrated by all the fighting. He wished that the two would sort their things out more maturely but then again he didnt really know what had happened between the two in the past.
Jungmo just shrugged and turned to Serim “Like I said, I don't mind.”
He stood up and walked into his room. Everyone stared at him in disbelief. Woobin signaled Allen to follow him, which the older did immediately.
“Exactly, run away like you always do” Wonjin shouted at Jungmo trying to free himself from Woobin. He was so mad. How could that man act like this was nothing ? How could he sit there and make it look like Wonjin was the crazy one.
“Hyeongjun and Minhee, please take Wonjin to his room” Serim said sternly and signaled Woobin to let Wonjin go. The younger didn't even bother to say anything and went straight into his room followed by the others.
“Well, so much for a peaceful family dinner.” Seongmin said shrugging to which Woobin just shot him a glare.
“You guys really drive me crazy..” the leader sighed.
Jungmo wanted to flee into his bed right away. He could hear how Allen was following him. He knew that the older one wanted to talk about what just had happened. This is how it always went down when he and Wonjin fought. The other members would basically scold them for their behaviour. Usually they had every right to, but this time Jungmo was convinced that it wasn't at fault.
“Is everything okay?” Allen asked him as he joined him on the bed. Jungmo could see that the older man was genuinely concerned.
Jungmo just shrugged without saying anything. He didn’t know what to say. He was confused himself.
“Are you sure you don't want to talk about this?” Allen pressed more. Although not much was said, this fight felt more intense than usual. Allen wanted to make sure that the younger was okay.
“I am fine,hy-“ he was interrupted by Woobin walking into the room, pretty annoyed. This wasn’t a good sign.
“Koo Jungmo” he said loudly “Didn’t I tell you to keep things civil ? What was that, hmmm?”
“Come on, I didn't even do anything” he looked at Allen to help him out cause mad Woobin was worse than mad Wonjin.
“Ruby, he just stated his opinion on the matter. He didn’t do anything wrong” the eldest of them tried to mediate. He was usually the type to reason with his members while the others fought pretty passionately.
“I know him really well. He just put his foot down because he knew that Wonjin would never agree. He just wanted to piss him off” Woobin kept staring at him. “Like who he is kidding…like he would actually agree to sing that congratulatory song with Wonjin at a wedding.”
Jungmo was perplexed, maybe he never would have agreed but the fact was that he had kept the conversation civil.
“Wow, you think I am that calculated?”
“You can lie to Allen hyung but can't lie to me. I don't care if it was intentional or not. Wonjin had already said no…. there was literally no reason for you to say that you were okay with it” Woobin explained. He had been Jungmo's best friend for quite a while. He could see through the others 'eyes when he was doing something out of spite. This was definitely such an instance.
“Ruby, that may be true but in the end Jungmo stayed calm. Don‘t be too harsh to him” Allen tried to reason with the main vocalist. There was no reason for them to fight as well.
“Exactly, Wonjin was the one who blew it up” Jungmo got more and more defensive. It wasn’t his fault. “Why are you defending him when you are my best friend ?”
Woobin huffed at that. He loved his bestie but sometimes he couldn’t deal with his stubbornness. Many people had the image of Jungmo as the calm and rational one but those who truly really knew him knew he could be quite irrational at times.
“I am not defending him. He is probably getting his fair share of scolding right now too. I just want to make it clear that you are equally responsible for this. You need to start acknowledging that your attitude is part of the issue. Even if your words weren’t offensive, your attitude definitely was. Being your best friend doesn’t mean that I won't tell you when you are being an idiot”
Woobin wasn’t wrong. Jungmo knew that but he had a hard time acknowledging the truth. Something in him couldn’t let go of this pattern. Once in a while he felt like he had to act out of spite. Maybe because this was the only way he was able to interact with Wonjin besides ignoring him.
Allen wrapped his arms around Jungmo. “Woobin just wants the best for you. You know that, right ?” Jungmo nodded. “Even if he is a bit too passionate about it, he does it out of love. Maybe you should consider what he said”
Jungmo took a big breath.This was exhausting. Even though this fight probably looked silly to others, it was a fight deeply rooted in various feelings. He knew there was pain, but there were other feelings that he just couldn’t explain. Unknown feelings have always been hard for him to deal with. Sometimes Jungmo felt envious of how Wonjin could express his feelings so freely. Wonjin was never afraid of showing his feelings, no matter how painful it was. But Jungmo, on the other hand, struggled with those feelings. He would rather hide behind his nonchalant attitude.
He just wished that all of this was just a dream.
Minhee clapped, making the two others turn their heads. They looked at him like he had lost his mind.
Minhee ignored the looks and continued clapping “Wow… Wonjin hyung what a show” He had been meaning to say this since earlier at the dinner table.
“Dude, what are you talking about ?” Hyeongjun asked him, confused. It was obviously not the time for Minhees antics.Wonjin was clearly still upset about the whole situation.
“Well, why did he get so angry ? It wasn’t even that deep” The younger one wore his heart on his sleeve, yet he often tended to be a bit nonchalant about things. According to Minhee, it wasn’t worth getting upset about things like this.
Wonjin blinked at him violently. Wonjin was a bit perplexed by the younger one. “Haven’t you seen how he made me look ? Like some dramatic person!”
“You did a great job at proving that you are not.” Minhee said sarcastically. To him, it was simple: if you don't want to look dramatic then don’t act dramatic.
Hyeongjun just sighed at the exchange. They were going in circles.
“Hyung, I absolutely get you. Jungmo pushes your buttons” Hyeongjun said while walking over to where Wonjin was sitting. “But you really need to calm down. You can't be getting angry like this. This was really not necessary”
“You know why.” Wonjin said silently. He knew that he was doing too much but it was like something in his mind shut down every time he had a confrontation with Jungmo. His nonchalant attitude really drove Wonjin crazy.
“I don’t know what exactly happened between the two of you, but your approach clearly hasn't helped you at all. If anything, you seem more miserable than before” Minhee said “Sometimes in life we have to learn to move on and heal.”
“I moved on”
“You haven't or you wouldn’t be sitting here like this” Hyeongjun grabbed Wonjin's hand to give him a comforting squeeze. “It's been years… you are usually very good at examining and giving your heart what it needs… Why are you struggling to let it get the healing that it needs? Why are you holding on to those painful feelings and memories ?”
“I don't know….I just don’t know.” Wonjin said. He could not understand it himself. It was just so hard to let go of all the pain, especially because he had to see Jungmo every day. “I just feel so much pain and sadness. I can’t let go not yet”
Minhee thought about his words carefully, he didn't want to sound too harsh. “I am really sorry but you have to. We are in a group together. CRAVITY is your motivation to let go. You don't have to go back to how you guys were in your trainee days but we can’t keep having these conversations over and over again.”
“Minhee is right. It's not only about the team though, it will help you a lot too .You will see how much better you will feel if you let it go” Hyeongjun said.
Wonin chuckled. “I am getting whole motivation speech like I am the only one concerned”
“Jungmo is probably having it worse now, lol. You know how mad Ruby gets” Minhee laughed. Hyeongjun had to laugh too.
“He is probably extra mad cause you two gave his boyfriend a headache”
Wonjin just listened to the two laughing and chatting. He couldn’t stop thinking about Hyeongjun's words. The sorrow of the years that had grown into resentment. He resented Jungmo for being able to ignore him and maintain as collected as he always was. He knew that it was part of Jungmo's personality, but he couldn’t let go of the idea that the past hadn’t hurt Jungmo as deeply as it had hurt him. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that Jungmo didn’t value their past connection as much as he did. Wonjin felt like the only one burdened by the past. Jungmo's nonchalant attitude was a constant trigger, reminding him that he had always been the one who cared more. He hated that he couldn’t be more collected and cool.
The sound of his phone buzzing interrupted Wonjin's thoughts. He picked it up, surprise flashed across his face. The others noticed, asking him if anything had happened. Without a word, Wonjin simply turned his phone to them, showing them what was on the screen.
Let's talk. Rooftoop in 30. - Jungmo