Archive of Our Own

He can feel his head spinning and his heart pounding. His lips and throat are dry, his hair wet from sweat. His eyes sting but he still forces them open. His vision is a blur, he wants to vomit.

The last thing Kazui remembers is sitting in Kashiki's cell after a month, or so he thinks, of his interrogation with the warden. He finally discarded his mask, as difficult as it was, to Kashiki and Kusunoki, who both accepted him honestly. He was letting Kashiki paint his nails and Kusunoki pick accessories for him to wear. He didn't bother asking where she got the nail polish from, it was probably a request or from Shiina’s belongings. As Kashiki finished filing his index finger, his whole world turned upside down. A myriad of colors swamped his vision and all he could do was close his eyes and force himself not to vomit onto Kashiki’s bed.

.
.
.

"Kazui-san?"

His confusion comes to a stop as he hears a familiar voice, innocent and sweet, yet it brings him so much pain to remember. Almost 6 years in that eldritch prison yet he still couldn't stop his knees from shaking every time he remembers it. He begs for it to stop, to leave him alone. He doesn't want grief and regret to come grab him by his legs, again. This time, the voice calls once more.

"Hey? Kazui-san? Are you alright?"

Kazui looks straight to where the voice is coming from. He is fully hoping Kusunoki to be the one asking which one of the accessories Kazui would prefer, to be pointing at two different rings and necklaces because she couldn't fully hold them due to her restraints.

But instead, ghost? eyes meet his own.

"You look so pale, Kazui-san. If you wanted to say you were sick and wanted an early leave you could've started with that," Hinako's? eyes smile as her lips did too, "I would've understood, you know?"

Where the hell was he?!

He wants to vomit, to cry, to fall on his knees. To say sorry, to say that he didn't want for everything to turn out this way, to say that he'd become better, to hold her hands and leave small kisses and say that he was just drunk and not thinking clearly. He wants to hug her and reassure her that she did nothing wrong, that he loved her with all of his heart but it was simply not the same love as what she has been giving. To say sorry for lying for all those years, to say sorry for dragging her into his mess, to say sorry for killing her.

Even if he wasn't sure how this was all possible or if this is just another one of his lucid dreams, he immediately springs into action something that he had been reciting for a long time.

"I'm so sorry," Kazui's lips tremble, "I'm so fucking sorry Hina. I know that isn't enough but I swear I'm so sorry."

He holds her hands, this time not so tightly, "we can navigate through this I promise! You can ask me anything! I won't lie anymore, just don't leave me," he lets out a wet sob, "please."

Hinako's? posture seems to stutter. "What are you saying? Hina? That's a new one, Kazui-san." She lets out a small laugh, one that he is so sure she only lets out when they weren't married, normally she'd slap him in his arms, too, while trying to suppress her laughter. "You're kind of confusing me."

Hinako? is visibly pink from the nickname and her hair is visibly shorter, sporting a uniform that was a cruel reminder of how their relationship first started. “You're lying to me, how? Did we arrest the wrong guy?”

The gears in his head start to whir and hum, immediately connecting the dots. Questioning could come at a different time, if being stuck in that prison where time never moved was possible, this wasn't out of the question. He slips on a temporary mask to get out of this scot-free. No more lies, at least to Hinako, Kazui promises himself.

He holds back his tears and steadies his voice. “A-Ah, sorry. I was just,” he unconsciously tugs the band on his uniform’s shoulder, a habit he picked up when he and Hinako became partners during a case to keep himself calm, “practicing my lines for the theatre role you recommended, yeah!”

Hinako’s eyes gleam with adoration and excitement and Kazui feels like vomiting again. “You're auditioning?!” Her face lights up as she claps for him, he doesn't deserve to see this smile again.

“I'm still contemplating, really.”

If his memory serves him right, this was the time he asked Hinako out for a date and to be his girlfriend. He glances up the stairwell they are in, his eyes making contact with the bouquet of roses he hid as a surprise. His stomach churns with disgust, this was the time where it all went downhill. He needs to leave.

“Actually, yeah. Can you tell the boss I’d leave early today? I'm not really feeling good.” He bows and claps his hands over his head as he forces out another lie, he reminds himself to stop before regressing to his past lifestyle. “Sorry for calling you out here just for that!”

Hinako flashes a bright smile before bowing slightly. Kazui's heart twinges in pain. “Sure! Take care Mukuhara-san.” She reaches out to the door that leads back to the office before looking back at Kazui. “Tell me if you went through with the audition, okay?”

Kazui is left in silence, letting out a choke he didn't know he was holding. He wanted to say more and to reach out, but she wouldn't understand. Taking it out on the version of Hinako who never knew him will just be selfish. He did truly miss her. He wonders if this is a lucid dream or another punishment by Milgram. He wonders if Kashiki, Kusunoki, and all the other prisoners are safe. He doesn't know the answer just yet, but he's willing to wait if his hypothesis is correct.

“2025, huh…,” he mutters to himself. It's a long time, he admits. Can he even last that long before society punishes him for merely existing? Can he keep on pushing through his inner turmoil long enough to finally see a community where he belongs?

Kazui digresses. He grabs the bouquet of flowers and trashes it as he leaves the office.

-

The apartment he was staying in was small and quiet, but it was enough for the time. Just like clockwork, his body went into routine. The next thing he knew is that he was wearing his usual cardigan and was staring right in front of the bathroom mirror.

25 years old, that's what his age is right now. He touches his chin and decides he really doesn't like it to be bare. He really looks young again, but his mind is so cloudy. He doesn't know what to do now that he is equipped with the knowledge of the future. He doesn't want to hurt Hinako again, but he also doesn't know where he'll end up if he won't get married. The only reason he was successful back then was due to his and Hinako’s marriage.

He catches his eyes quivering at the way he is thinking. He really is selfish even at a time like this.

The main room is empty, he remembers how Hinako was the one responsible for sprucing up their apartment before. He makes a mental note to invest in throw pillows to add color at the very least, judgmental views be damned. He turns on the CD player that's propped up in the center of the coffee table, he then notices three distinct CDs that he's totally sure he's never seen before. “half, Cat, and Camouflage.” His mind flies away, letting the CDs sit beside the CD player so he can listen to it later.

The gentle tune from the inserted CD calms his thoughts down. Not only does he get a second chance with his relationship with Hinako, but he also gets to keep his friendship with Him clean of any repulsion. He sits down on his couch as he wonders about the predicament he's in, he curses himself for not asking when the other prisoners were born even after his interrogation with the Warden.

His throat burns. His eyes swell. Finally, his cheeks become wet. Without anyone in sight, he discards the mask and delves into his suppressed emotions. He mourns for deceiving Hinako, for shutting her out when she needed to talk, and for taking her life. He cries for confessing to Him and letting his mask slip, and he sobs for failing to respect Kirisaki’s wishes. He cries for being born this way and for being unable to change himself to be normal.

The next time his eyes came to, it was already 7PM. He takes his flip phone out of his pocket to see if the precinct had any updates on a Saturday night. As he navigates through it, he only remembers Hinako's words.

-

“You really are not a fan of technology, huh?” Hinako teased him after she successfully forced Kazui to get his own phone because it was the “norm.”

Kazui pouted in response. “Give me some slack! I only bought it because the boss is coercing everyone to get a phone.”

She playfully jabbed his sides. “Not only that! We can also finally communicate even after work!” She proceeded to snatch the phone out of his hand to quickly input her contact details in his phone. “Now I can finally order you to buy me coffee before our case starts.”

“Just say you miss me,” he teased her back, “I wouldn't judge.”

“I’m doing this because you'll miss me!”

-

Aside from being assigned to a new case for next week (which he already remembers the culprit of), there are little updates for Kazui to read. Just as he is about to close it, it chimed. A new notification. He reads who it is from and a simple phrase rings through his ears like wildfire, as if it is as loud as a gong reverberating through his ears.

“That's disgusting.”

He doesn't remember this happening, ever. Considering his memory when it comes to his friend, there is no doubt that this message hasn't happened before. “Is this Milgram’s way of letting us have our second chances?” he asks himself.

A second chance to repent and fix his relationship with his best friend, Hinako. As well as a second chance to not ruin his camaraderie with his childhood friend. However, his desires this time are still as strong as the day before he went and ruined it all. To be free of his mask, to live his life without being scrutinized, to simply exist without a problem. He wonders if all of that is possible this time around.

The message stares at him, tempting him. Kazui wonders if he has the tenacity to look at Him in his eyes even after their last conversation, albeit the memory was one-sided. He wonders if he can even control himself to not let the mask slip in front of Him, again. His eyes flicker to the CD player, focusing on the hum to steady himself.

He wants to indulge, he wants to meet Him again. After not seeing Him for six years, his heart still yearns. He wants to put his arm over His shoulder as he did back then, to make Him lean against his body and use playfulness as an excuse to achieve physical touch that electrifies his whole body. Kazui deems himself pathetic.

“Come over to the bar, I have a surprise for you!” He reads and his heart skips a beat. Like an innocent child who is about to get gifted a puppy. His eyes widen in excitement, but deep inside him he's already wary of the potential outcomes. He buries his deepest secret inside his mind as he replies.

“Okay, 9PM?” he texts back.

He receives an instant reply.

“See ya there!”

-

It was almost empty, save from the other usuals that he knew beforehand. The soft tune of jazz echoed throughout the stereo. The lights are soft and warm, illuminating most of the place. He and his friend liked to hang out in this specific bar due to the mere atmosphere. They could laugh their problems away, listen to the guest performer, or wash their sorrows with booze.

He sits by the counter, waiting for both the barkeep and his beloved friend to appear. He'd like to order ahead of their meeting to calm his nerves but that isn't possible without the bartender. His fingers are nervously tapping the edges of the counter as his gaze goes downcast. He thinks of what can happen tonight. He thinks of the last time he was in this place and he tastes bile in his mouth. “It is not too late to leave,” Kazui whines. A glass of whiskey is then being poured right in front of him.

He hears a familiar voice and he instinctively puts on a facade, as if it's routine.

“Whiskey on the rocks for a dashing young man. On the house, by the way.”

His eyes meet the owner of the voice. He feels his face flush and he prevents himself from reaching out. He looks almost the same as that night, too similar, Kazui decides. His childhood friend is standing behind the bar’s counter, wearing a bartender’s outfit. Kazui isn't surprised by this, instead, he was surprised by this change. He distinctively remembers his friend becoming a bartender in the year of 2002. He is three years earlier than what he remembers. He finds this both a curse and a blessing.

“A-Ah, Ryousuke!” Kazui stutters out, “you quit your restaurant job?”

Ryousuke pouts, “no ‘miss yous’?’ You wound me, Kazui.” He dramatically clutches his vest where his heart would be. “Yeah, I quit. It wasn't fun anymore,” he combs back his hair using his hand, “and I get to see you more frequently. We can finally catch up with each other!”

His heart drops from the revelation, he isn't ready yet, even after being in Milgram he's still not had enough time to prepare himself for this. He wants to be happy from this news. To be able to indulge the presence of his friend again, to be able to see him without being seen as disgusting. He wants this, too, but forcing himself into the same path he did before just for his selfish desires is disrespectful to what the Warden would have wanted.

However, that is a problem for tomorrow's Kazui. He takes a swig of the whiskey, instead.

“Does that mean I'll have to tolerate more of you, now?” He retorts back, pushing back the now empty glass at him for a refill. He feels butterflies in his stomach, just like how he always did back then.

“Careful with your words, I can increase the price, just for you.” He chuckles while doing Kazui's request. He slings a towel by his shoulder, leaving him shortly to attend to a new customer.

His laughter is like music to Kazui's ears, overpowering the gentle hum of the background music. He starts sipping the newly prepared glass and ponders how he can even move forward with his life. Even after the heartbreak he had gone through, he couldn't help but still take a liking to his friend. His eyes focus on Ryousuke as he's whipping up a drink for the new patron. He admires how perfect he is for this job, how his eyes become expressive when he tells a story, how the scruff on his chin accentuates his jaw, how the uniform clearly compliments his physique, how smooth his hand movements are to watch, how charming and smooth his voice is, or how close he is to his face right now.

Ryousuke pokes Kazui's forehead, “you're not already drunk, are you? You've only had 2 glasses.”

The sudden physical contact makes him recoil in an instant, he fixes his seat and smiles. “Sorry, there's just a lot in my head right now.” He offers a half-truth before emptying the contents of the glass in one quick motion.

His childhood friend sighs before giving him a new glass with fresh ice. “You know, Kazu, you seem more distant lately. Are you sure there's nothing I can help with?” He offers, “we've been friends since second grade, you can tell me anything.”

He wants to laugh at that moment’s irony. The last time he let his friend see through the mask was where it all broke apart. He showed who he really was and was deemed monstrous. But Ryousuke doesn't have to know that. “Of course, just like how you entrusted me with keeping your 18th birthday tattoo a secret from your dad.”

His childhood friend’s face lightens up from that. “Best decision ever.” He boasts as he lifts up the hem of his dress shirt to show a dove tattoo near his hip. “I got two ladies by having this, y'know?” He clicks his tongue as he uses his hands to calm an imaginary audience.

Kazui fails to resist the temptation of staring at the exposed skin, and fails to hide the contortion on his face when he hears about his ex-girlfriends. “It always bothered me, Ryo, why did you pick a dove?” He asks a question he already knows the answer to. “Arent you like the least perfect candidate for innocence?”

The bartender narrows his eyes and playfully raises his brow. “At least I'm no longer a virgin.” He lightly smacks his friend with the towel. “Haven't I told you already? This is a homage to how we first met.”

He ignores the disrespectful comment and feigns ignorance just to hear him how much he cherishes their childhood, too. “Oh? I forgot. Do tell.”

“We were both playing at the park in our old town. I saw an injured dove but I didn't know how to tend to a broken wing.” He closes his eyes as he tries to remember each detail. “You saw me panicking and offered to help because you knew basic first aid due to your parents. And I thought that was pretty cool.”

He refills Kazui's empty glass and continues, “then I realized you were actually one of my classmates that were super quiet, mysterious, and alone, and well,” he flashes out a cheeky grin, “I assumed you needed a buddy, and well, the rest was history. I now have my friend of a lifetime.”

As much as Kazui wants to admit the final part was cheesy, he couldn't help but cover his head down from embarrassment and adoration. He can feel the heat on his face and his heart beating faster. The alcohol doesn't help one bit. He undeniably craves for more. He hears the glass in front of him being refilled.

“This is the last one, go home after this. I just wanted to surprise you, is all. You do seem like you need to rest more.” His face expresses concern towards his friend. “And don't forget, you can tell me anything, I don't bite.”

Kazui's whole body heats up from the accurate recollection, from his adoration to his friend, from the alcohol, and from the sick feeling that he remembers just before he was put into Milgram. As much as he wants to be greedy with his desires, his friend was probably right. He sighs, surrendering his selfishness.

He finishes the glass in one final motion, his throat starting to get numb. He bids him farewell and instinctively promises to come back tomorrow, even if it is against his actual wishes. He has to work on that.

Once he is out of line of sight and earshot, his whole body trembles and he has to lean back on the wall for support. The cold air of the night hits him hard. “Why can't I stop?” he whispers out, mainly to himself.

Even after all the pain and heartbreak he had endured throughout his life in the prison, he doesn't want to let him go.

Next thing he knows, he's back in his apartment, texting Hinako to meet up with him tomorrow.

-

Kazui fidgets as he waits for Hinako to arrive at the café he's in. He had been ruminating all night long. He wants to rebuild his connection with Hinako, after all, he doesn't have anyone else aside from her and Ryousuke. He deems the best way to come clean is to take off his mask right in front of her. He's terrified of what she might say or how she'll perceive him, but after all that had happened in the previous lifetime, that's the least of his worries. “She's going to accept you,” he keeps on reminding himself. He acknowledges that Hinako had been nothing but supportive, why would that change now?

He wants to smoke, to fill his lungs with that addictive substance and wait for the pleasurable buzz to hit his bloodstream. It reminds him of Shidou and Mikoto— and he doesn't want to, so he stopped. Anything pleasurable is desirable, Kazui insisted upon himself, just anything to stop himself from jumping around. It didn't take him long enough to remember Ryousuke's enamored smile. He forces not to gag.

He looked up as the doors of the café chimed. Hinako entered slowly, scanning the place before meeting Kazui's eyes. He gestures to sit in front of him.

“What's the matter?” She asks as she settles in her seat. “This seems sudden, Kazui-kun.”

“Thank you for meeting me at such short notice, Shiratori-san–”

“I told you to call me Hinako,” she corrects him.

Kazui bows as an apology before continuing, “sorry, Hinako-san. Before I proceed with my agenda, let's order first, my treat.” He flashes a welcoming smile at her as he hands him one of the menus that the waitress earlier had given to him.

She gladly obliges and scans through the menu. Kazui can't help but giggle at how focused she is. He notices her sundress and how beautiful she looks in it, he then notices how her smile slowly shifts into a thin pout when she can't decide on an order.

“Have you been here before? Do you have any suggestions?”

Kazui replies almost instantaneously, “you'd probably like their Tiramisu, it's more sweet than bitter. The glaze on the Cinnamon Roll is sweet and you can really taste the cinnamon, you'll like it. As for their beverages, I suggest this Pure Vanilla coffee.”

He catches himself a bit late, Hinako had already been shocked by his rapid fire suggestions.

“Well that was quick,” she laughs awkwardly, “are you one of their usuals?” she asks, her eyes still wide.

“You could say that, yeah.” He squeaks out a lie. He can't confess that they're in her favorite cafe and everything he suggested was just a recollection of her usual order when they're in the café. Hinako had discovered it while they were laying low for a case, “good vantage point”, Kazui remembered her saying. And after that, they grew a habit of eating breakfast there if they're on their morning shift.

He orders at the counter and returns to their table. Hinako manages to drive the conversation into whatever she feels like. One moment they're talking about their work, the next they're talking about literature and the supernatural. He finds everything endearing, managing to input his own thoughts whenever possible.

His stomach churns and he feels the world can crash down anytime once their orders have arrived. Doubt and fear start to pool within his hands. The imminent feelings of being rejected looms over his head. He wonders if he can still backtrack and leave. He wants to put on the mask again.

He feels the warmth of Hinako's hand.

“Are you sure you're not sick anymore?” She asks, her face full of concern. Kazui admits to himself he doesn't deserve to see such a face. “You look like you're in so much pain.”

“No,” he forces out, “I need to do this.” The reminder is more or less targeted to himself.

He stares at Hinako's now worried face, flashes of her final moment comes back to haunt him. It's almost the same face she made before he shut her down and she took her own life. It is a punch in his gut and an expression of his sins. A cruel reminder of the pain he inflicted on an innocent woman. He ultimately looks away.

He starts low. “This is kind of a selfish request from me,” he says, fidgeting a band on his shoulder that isn't there. “You know how you're one of my only friends, right?” he adds.

“And your childhood friend who's a chef, right? Ryousuke, was it?”

Kazui gets instant whiplash upon hearing his name. He tries his best to not let the name affect him. “He's a bartender now, but yes.”

“Come on, Kazui. We've been partners in the precinct for three years now. You can tell me anything.” She touches his hand and Kazui knows it's supposed to reassure him. It works. “We're practically going to be attached by the hip with how much our boss praises us, so might as well tell me everything.” She laughs. Kazui likes hearing that.

He had already tried fooling her, already tried to play both the actor and magician. He had already shown only his good side, to bottle up everything that was wrong with him and discard it. To rely on a throne of lies until his own labyrinth crumbles upon itself. He knew how much pain he had inflicted, he knew how his lies can hurt not only himself but also the people around him.

The Warden makes him realize what he should've done, they let him understand where he went wrong. He vows to try and fix it this time around. He takes a deep breath in.

“Hinako-san, I…,” his voice cracks, “I have been living a life of lies. There's something wrong with me.” His voice is low, only audible enough for Hinako to hear. His eyes scan Hinako's face, assessing her reaction. He decides he can still continue. “I tried to be normal, to keep up with whatever was deemed ‘right’ but…” his voice trails off as he closes his eyes.

“...I simply couldn't.”

Silence. He braces himself for the worst. He expects the door to the café to chime and she's no longer in front of him. He fully understands if she decides to slap him and cause a scene. He assumes he is not worthy of Hinako's companionship even now. He fully expects her to say what Ryousuke said that night.

“that's disgusting…”

The words echo in his mind. His breathing turns shallow. He wants to turn back time and forget everything he just did. His nerves start to tingle in the wretched silence. He wants to open his eyes and see Kashiki fully done with painting his nails and see Kusunoki whining for taking him too long to decide. He wants to disappear, to be born anew, to be able to have the chance to make himself normal.

“Is that so?” He opens his eyes and no longer sees Hinako at the seat she was sitting at. Instead, her voice comes from beside him. She slowly massages his forearm before continuing. “Thank you for telling me this, Kazui-kun.”

“H-huh?”

She continues on working with his forearm. “So let me get this clear with you,” she adjusts his arm, her voice calm and relaxed, like a mother soothing her child, “you like men, I assume? And if I had to guess, it's probably Ryousuke-kun, correct?”

Kazui slowly nods, still wary of how careful she is seemingly acting. He is impressed by his partner’s ability to decipher everything and put the pieces together. The shakiness of his fingers comes to a halt. The tightness in his chest slowly contracts, gradually being replaced by anxiety as he waits for Hinako to continue.

“Why are you telling me this now?” she asks, her free hand rubbing circles on his back.

“Because I can't keep insisting myself to keep on lying anymore. Living a life with nothing but masking who you really are becomes exhausting.” He rapidfires as he lowers his head in defeat and embarrassment. He lets out a defeated laugh, “aren't I disgusting?”

“Why would I think that?”

“What?!” His head jerks away in surprise, not fully convinced if he's hearing everything right. “I’m not normal, Hinako.”

“I'm not naive, Kazui, you should know that.” She keeps on rubbing his back, her touch gentle. “I'm just glad that you felt comfortable telling me,” she reassures him.

“But I'm wrong! I've been wrong! No matter what I do, no matter where I go, all I see are signs that I'm nothing but a monster, that I'm nothing but a laughingstock.” His eyes jitters all over, his heart thumps like a hammer, his breathing escalates. “All I see is hatred, like I don't belong anywhere.”

Hinako tightly squeezes his forearm. “Who are they to dictate that?” she asks. “You're still just as human as the rest of us! You didn't choose to be born that way! Why should you…” she points a finger at his chest, “be vindicated for being you?”

Kazui goes silent.

“You have your own life to live, your own story to tell. You don't need the approval of everyone, and you already have mine. I want you to live a life that is truly yours.” She uses both of her hands to grab Kazui's own. “If you can't have the world be kind to you, then let me assure you that you're safe with me.”

Kazui stares at her, dumbfounded. His throat starts to burn, his eyes start to swell. He feels like his walls are crumbling apart, his mask being torn down. He can't bring himself to accept Hinako's words as the truth, he feels he is not worthy of this support. He wants to pinch himself, to wake up in either his prison cell or the day after he finds her body. He doesn't feel like this world is true even if he's really desperate for acceptance.

He had already let Hinako see his deviance before and he shut her down, yet somehow, Kazui’s cowardice wants to do the same thing again.

“I don't deserve that.”

He hears Hinako hand slam against the table. “You deserve to live just as much as everyone else, Kazui-kun. Please, let me help you in making you feel that you're not alone,” she pleads, her own voice growing in volume and concern.

His stubbornness finally concedes, accepting the hard pills to swallow that are Hinako's words.

He opens his mouth to say something, anything. A wet croak comes out, instead. His emotions erupt, all of the pain and suffering that he has harbored in his lifetime comes crashing down. Uncontrollable tears roll across his cheeks. He cries, then he wails, loud enough to gather attention; he pays no mind. The self-inflicted shackles in his chest loosens, for the first time in his life, he can start to breathe without being suffocated by his own lies, he can finally perceive a world where he can be accepted. The only thing he hears is the sound of his cries. He overhears Hinako defending him from the judgmental views of the people inside the café, he makes a mental note to thank her later. They both stay in the position for a while, letting Kazui’s remaining loathing evaporate into nothingness.

He hears shuffling and Hinako's back in her first seat once he opens his eyes. He sees her take a slice of the tiramisu, her face beams as she eats it. It’s the same face she did when she was still his wife, he smiles.

“Wow, Kaz-kun. I really like it! How'd you know that?” Her face glistens before moving on to her coffee. Once she takes a sip, it lights the same way as earlier, she laughs wholeheartedly. He finds it endearing and reassuring that she doesn't treat him any different after what he had said.

“A magician never reveals their secrets,” he retorts mischievously. His heart is finally at ease after Hinako's acceptance, everything feels lighter. “By the way,” he taps the table to gather her attention. “Thank you for bearing with me.”

Hinako tilts her head before looking out the window. “Kazui-kun, the world is already full of hate.” Her eyes flicker on the passing civilians, Kazui notices she has focused on the child sitting on a bench. “I'm just doing my part in spreading positivity.” Her eyes wander back to the half-eaten tiramisu after the child is reunited with her mother.

“Besides, even if I wanted us to become a thing, which is never going to happen now.” She takes another slice of her tiramisu, her smile bittersweet. “I'm perfectly content with being your friend.”

He holds back a regretful snicker. He wishes he had done this before. “I’m sorry, for not feeling the same way as you.”

She shakes her head. “That's not your fault, Mukuhara-san. It's fine.”

“I appreciate that, Hinako.”

“Thank you for the food, let's eat.”

He hums in agreement.

They sit in silence, the only sound to be heard is the cutlery and the chit-chat of the other customers. Kazui wonders if the alleviated heaviness from his heart is enough for him to create a new life where he won't drag anyone into his mess anymore. He ponders what his life would be now. He wants to ask a selfish question but he hesitates. Hinako asks him instead.

“Would you pursue Ryousuke-kun, then?”

He coughs in surprise, taken aback from the question. His eyes dart over hers, he thinks about what to answer. He can feel Hinako being able to decipher the fear in his eyes. He had already confessed but there's a part inside of him that yearns, that dreams that his friend's answer will change this time.

“Why would I?” he mutters out. He remembers the way Ryousuke’s face contorted into disgust as clear as day. He remembers how appalled he looked when Kazui played it as a joke. He remembers how much disdain was in his friend's voice when he forced him out. He remembers how his heart broke into pieces that night. “It's not like he would like me back.”

“Have you even tried yet?” she asks after finally taking a bite of the cinnamon roll. Her face flushes with delight. “Think of it as closure.”

“But I don't want him to resent me,” he replies instantly, carefully ignoring the first question.

Hinako clicks her tongue, “do you want it to slowly ruin you?” Her gaze burns his skin. He can't do anything but look away. She's right, she always is. No matter how he looks at it, his affection for his friend always remains on top.

“I'm pathetic, aren't I?” he whines as he relaxes in his seat, his head leans back to the seat’s headrest. “Even if I know that it's going to hurt me in the long run,” he looks back at Hinako's empathetic face, “I'll still prefer that than ruining our friendship.”

She lets out a long sigh, “can I ask for a favor then?” She gestures towards the phone on his side of the table. “Can I borrow your phone? I need to contact a friend of mine, but I forgot my phone because I was in a hurry.” She pleads as she clasps her hands.

Kazui looks at her quizzically, it wasn't like her to forget something important. In fact, it was Hinako who always insisted that he keep his phone and important documents near his coat rack or office table so he wouldn't miss it. He ultimately decides to let her borrow it.

Hinako accepts the phone with an earnest smile, immediately clicking buttons with gusto, as if she has caught a second wind. Kazui pays this no mind, his own mind focused on being relieved after his talk with her. He finishes his latte and croissant as she returns his phone.

“Should we get going now? You still owe me, by the way! Convincing the boss to let you have the day off was hard!” She stood up with her remaining pastry in hand, her eyes glowing with her own version of mischief. “And you can do that by actually going through with auditioning!”

“Wh-what?!”

“C’mon now, we don't have all day!”

-

Kazui is out of energy by the time he sits at the bar counter. After Hinako had forced him to come to the theatre, he was immediately flooded with lines to memorize for the audition. While she was adorable and supported him throughout the day, he wasn't as enthusiastic as her. In another life where he isn't burdened by the expectations of a promising family and society, he could see himself pursuing a degree for acting and theatre. The audition itself went well, or so he thinks. After a life full of lies, being able to express one's self without being judged through the societal lens brings a sense of satisfaction and contentment to his heart.

He hears the sloshing of alcohol right in front of him. His pondering is interrupted as he returns back to see the silhouette of the man he has tried to get rid of, for better or for worse.

“Rough day, huh?”

“You could say that.” He traces the rim of his glass, his eyes glossing over the bar itself. There are more people than yesterday and the bar's counter has more patrons. He finds this as a blessing— Ryousuke would be busier and he wouldn't be by Kazui's side as often as he did yesterday. Fate, however, isn't as keen on letting him get away free. He sees Ryousuke lounging by his spot whilst preparing the drinks of the other patrons. Kazui gets a bad feeling from what's happening.

“Hey, I'm fine,” he says to him, “go focus on your customers, I won't leave just yet.”

Ryousuke’s soft eyes wander from him and to the other customers, sighing before he leaves.

Kazui gets a breath of instant relief, flooding down his system with alcohol. He doesn't know why he's back at the bar, he always could just not show up and everything will be fine, Ryousuke would understand. He hears his own head thumping against the wooden counter, his eyes heavy.

A damp towel smacks his neck. “Oi, no sleeping here.”

He jolts, sitting upright despite how his body so badly wants to lie down. “Sorry, I'm just so tired.” He sees his friend making him another glass. His eyes focus on his hands and how smooth his movements are. He wonders about how nice it would be to feel it, to touch it as if it was his. He thinks about where it had wandered, how strong its grip is, how slender it is. He marvels how his calloused fingers would touch his skin, how the little specks of hair on his hand would tickle his skin. He daydreams how Ryousuke's hand would explore and traverse his own body.

He catches himself shivering in both disgust and delight. He envies the multiple partners Ryousuke has had before, to be able to achieve his dreams without having to care that it would ruin their life.

“Why are you so tired anyway?” He scoots the new glass in front of Kazui.

He gulps a small amount of alcohol, the stinging sensation brings comfort and numbness to his tired veins. “A friend forced me to audition for a theatre role,” he admits.

His friend’s face immediately shows amusement, shoving all attention towards Kazui. “Actually?!” He reaches out and grabs both of his shoulders, shaking him.

Kazui’s mind short-circuits from the warmth of the bartender's touch. He wants to revel in it, pull him closer and take him in his embrace. To be able to touch him skin-to-skin, to be enveloped by his warmth under private eyes. He dreams of a life where he can hold his beloved friend's hand and he reciprocates the touch. He dreams of the world where he can say his true feelings to him and his face won't transform into revulsion.

He finishes the glass. “However,” a pause, “I didn't get the role.” He removes his friend's arms away from his shoulders, begrudgingly. “They apparently liked me enough to take my contact details, though.”

“Damn right they did!” He grabs Kazui's glass and wipes it down with his rag. “I've seen how you act when we were younger and I knew you had talent for that!”

Kazui can feel the heat creeping up his face due to the implication that Ryousuke keeps a memory of him in high regard. To be seen by him with that much appreciation, it is almost like a dream come true. These feelings of his are stupid. Hinako's words from earlier catch up to him. “Think of it as closure.” He thinks she's right. He needs more alcohol to mask his front. He gestures for another drink to Ryousuke, but his face flushes even more before he could react.

Ryousuke leans in closer to his face. “Like, between you and me,” his eyes look around playfully, “you got so many ladies swooning over you after your role on the culture festival.” He lightly jabs Kazui's shoulder before turning away to prepare another patron's order.

He lets out a bittersweet laugh, murmuring words that are not meant to be heard by anyone else. “But have you seen me swooning over you, too?”

Ryousuke looks back at him in a daze. “You saying something, Kazu?”

His heart almost leaps out of his chest. The image of a confused Ryousuke in front of him keeps changing side by side with a disgusted face of his that is imprinted on his brain. Hinako's words keep repeating again. He scrambles himself for an excuse, he tries to, he needs to. “Nothing serious, was just going to tease you for being the center of attention during that same festival after screaming so loud in the haunted house.”

He gives him a deadly glare. “Not cool, man!” He lowers his brows and frowns, “we agreed to not talk about that anymore!”

Kazui raises his hands in defeat, zoning out as Ryousuke jokingly lectures him, mainly focused on how his hand dances with his words and how his lips quiver and move, then… he looks away in embarrassment.

He hears Ryousuke sigh. “Is that what you wanted to talk about?”

This takes Kazui by surprise. “What do you mean?” He signals for another glass. “Talk about what?”

“About your audition results?” He cocks his head to the side, pulling out his phone from his pocket in one swift motion. “You texted me earlier, didn't you? It really caught me off guard, you know!”

He doesn't remember sending the message. He looks at the time he received the text and it was the same time as he and Hinako left the café, taking a mental note to scold her when they meet again at work. He then swallows a lump in his throat as he reads the text.

“Ryousuke, I have something to talk about with you. I'll say it the next time we catch up, just remind me about it. Thanks!”

He can't do this again. The vulnerability in his heart is still fresh after his talk with Hinako. He hasn't recovered just yet. Despite this, there's a part inside of him that wants to do it, still. If he gets demonized or discarded again, then, maybe he'll finally be able to let go this time around. If he follows Hinako's advice, can he control himself this time around?

“Ah, about that. I'll…” his words trail off, stalling to make up a lie, “I'll talk about it once I get more alcohol and when we're alone.” He lets out a nervous laugh, “I got to prepare myself, you know?”

Ryousuke looks at him with concern and uncertainty. He nods hesitantly and prepares him another glass. “You seem unsure, we can talk about it at another time if you'd like?”

He shakes his head in disagreement. “It's better to talk about it now.” His voice is strained from being tired and nervous, he pays it no mind. As he hears the bartender leave, he absentmindedly stares at his half empty glass. The ice melts, melts, and it melts. He hears customers come and go, telling stories that don’t catch his interest. The chatter of the background comes to a quiet buzz. One by one, the remaining customers drop to a few.

Ryousuke begins closing up shop when Kazui finally finishes his glass. There are no people by the front bar, everyone else is in the game area playing and socializing. He tries to gather up every ounce of courage he has left. He feels his own brain go haywire, trying its best to convince him that confessing once again, albeit in a different time, is still not the best thing to do. The immature part in him agrees, to not ruin his friendship with the man of his dreams. The Post-Milgram in him agrees with Hinako's words, to stop it from escalating and inevitably mess up another life. He sighs.

Ryousuke hears this, sliding another glass of whiskey towards him. “Final drink of the night for you.” He lets out a yawn and leans at the rail by the bar, his body seemingly relaxes.

Kazui sees his reflection in the liquor. His eyes are a mess. There's venom by his throat and blockage by his lungs. He looks at Ryousuke and braces himself. He drinks the contents of his glass. It doesn't sting nor burn, he receives no numbness to soften the blow. His voice starts low.

“Have you been unable to move forward because of one single person?” He looks away from Ryousuke, his eyes wandering on the patterns of his jeans. “Do you know the feeling of liking someone so much, to the extent that your heart pangs whenever you see them?”

He feels his shoulder being caressed and he wants it to last forever.

“Is my best friend of almost two decades finally starting to feel love?” he questions teasingly yet his voice inquisitive. Kazui dislikes the tone. “Is it that office partner of yours?”

He shakes his head, his fingers tracing circles on the edge of the empty glass. “I've adored them for a while now, maybe too much if I'm going to be completely honest. It's actually starting to eat me up inside.”

Ryousuke's hand tilts his head upwards, letting their eyes meet. Kazui feels his ears melt. “Well, do you need any advice? You've come to the right person!” He closes his eyes and smirks, his hand making gestures as if he has a beard.

Kazui lets out a soft chuckle out of irony. He ignores the question. He picks up the glass and raises it to eye-level. He repeats what he had said that night. “Phew, oh wow I'm drunk…”

He continues.

“Hey, so what if I said I liked-liked you, what would you do?”

Everything comes to a halt. The man in front of him stays static. The ringing in his ears won't stop. The venom in his throat and the blockage in his lungs escalate. The mask has been discarded in front of the same guy a second time, and just as he expected, everything is repeating in the same way. The silence envelops them both, he can only hear how loud his heart is thumping and how wanting it is to escape its cage. A few more seconds pass, and Kazui figures it is time to play it as a joke one last time. He opens his mouth…

Ryousuke laughs. He laughs like he just got told a joke. He buckles and he has to steady himself on the countertop. He clutches his waist and uses his free hand to support his weight.

Kazui’s nerves go ice cold. The reaction is uncertain. The same phrase from before spreads like wildfire in his mind. He can feel bile on his throat, his instincts tell him to leave, to leave as fast as he can. His heart tells him to stay and to explain himself. He puts back down the glass as well as enough cash to pay for all his drinks. He stands up, he pays no mind to his own self wobbling. He needs to leave before this mistake leaves another permanent scar in his psyche.

He starts walking.

He is stopped.

Ryousuke grabs his wrist, he doesn't find warmth in it at the moment.

“Hey! Where are you going?”

Kazui doesn't want to look back. He doesn't want to show how pathetic his face might look. He tries to shake off Ryousuke's hand— he fails. “Let's forget this night.” He weakly calls out, his voice already trembling with fear. “P-please.”

A beat passes.

Kazui forces himself to look back. He expects a disgusted look at his friend's face, he deserves nothing but hate from him. He expects him to curse him with profanities and slurs, he expects Ryousuke to despise him. It catches him by surprise when he is greeted by soft and unwavering emerald eyes.

“Holy shit. You're actually serious?”

The ringing stops. He nods. “I'm sorry that you had to find out this way.” He feels the waterworks in his eyes starting to begin. “Ryousuke, you can let go of me. You're free to say that I'm disgusting. I'll leave, then we can pretend we never knew each other.”

Ryousuke tugs his hand forcefully, enough for Kazui to look towards him, eye-to-eye. “Why would I think of that? You're still my friend. I'm not supposed to abandon my best friend just because he feels different!”

“What?” He doesn't believe what he is hearing, he refuses to. He doesn't know why he would change his beliefs this time around. Was this possible in his past life? He will never know. All he knows is how caring, or so he thinks, Ryousuke looks right in front of him. He pulls both of them in a corner of the bar where the game area is out of sight.

“I knew I was charismatic as hell, but damn, I also made you fall for me? I have to thank my parents for these genes.” He offers a devilish smirk that Kazui had always liked, even back then during their high school years. “My best friend can't escape my appeal, you're going to boost my ego, Kazu.” Ryousuke combs his hair with his hand, letting the detective see how it glistens alongside the bar's light.

He catches himself staring far longer than necessary. He looks back to the bartender's eyes. He still feels unsure about the situation. “You’re… fine with it?” he clarifies.

“Yeah? You're not doing anything that can harm us,” he fixes the cuff of his sleeve, “it's not like you're a disease or someone disgusting.”

Kazui's heart is about to burst. He feels elated about the whole situation. His prior fatigue fades into overwhelming ecstasy. He doesn't want the day to end, he doesn't want to let go. He internally thanks Hinako's words and foolish antics for giving him the courage to step forward, and he thanks Milgram for bringing him back to the past to fix his life again. He lets his tears fall again, he doesn't mind it this time around.

“Ryo, you don't know how much this means to me.”

“I can make it better.” He boldly laughs as he uses his right hand to hold Kazui's left, tightly grasping it.

He doesn't know how to interpret what Ryousuke said. He uses his free hand to wipe his tears away. “What do you mean?”

“Being the first romantic partner of my best friend seems like a fun idea.”

Kazui blinks once, twice, then a couple more times. He feels his face turn into a scalding mess, his eyes filled with a mixture of shock and delight. He cannot stop himself from smiling and shaking. He asks another question before he fully celebrates the victory. “But you're straight?”

Ryousuke pinches his cheek and Kazui feels like he's in heaven. “We're both young, Kazui. We can try this out, and if it doesn't work out, we can both agree that at least we tried.” He offers him a reassuring smile before he gives him a hug, his hands rubbing the back of the taller man. “And you're pretty endearing with that face!”

He melts into Ryousuke's embrace, letting go of all the tension that he had been feeling since he got in the bar. The comment makes his stomach warm and fuzzy. He feels himself starting to get all sappy again. “Thank you, Ryousuke.”

They stay in that position for a while, Kazui's sobs are the only thing both men can hear. They stop when Ryousuke breaks the silence.

He leans into his friend's ears, whispering low enough to make it seem seductive. “Let's have our first date next week, we’ll go fishing.” He teasingly nibbles his ear before he breaks contact, giving Kazui a wink, too, before leaving him to continue closing up the bar.

Fireworks explode in Kazui's head. His hand reaches out to his ear, immediately reminiscing the phantom touch of Ryousuke. His heart doesn't want to slow down, neither do his arms want to stop quivering in glee. His whole body is burning, he feels like he's back to being a teenager with all the elation running through his veins. He covers his sheepish grin with his hand, he then laughs to himself, he laughs to control the bubbling feeling in his chest, he laughs after finally becoming truly free of his repressions.

He rushes out the door, his heart skipping another beat when the bartender pays him a customary farewell. He looks up at the moon, its light shining vividly on his skin.

He promises the Warden and himself to make this second time worthwhile.

-

It is already Sunday morning, a week after Kazui and his best friend had talked and made a decision. He stands near the pier, anxiously waiting for the other man to arrive, his feet bouncing repeatedly on the rocky terrain. He grips the tote bag he's carrying harder than anticipated, doing anything possible to alleviate the excitement and restlessness he's having.

He wasn't safe from Hinako's teasing throughout the week. After she pried what happened that night, she kept on insisting that he should treat her out in the same café for being a successful wingman, in which Kazui surrendered. Every time he entered the office, he'd be greeted by her dating advice. It made him happy; to see her smiling and still being the same despite her knowing his self-proclaimed shameful secret.

He looks at the lake to see just a handful of people by the shoreline and a single person in a boat already fishing. The soft shine of the rising sun illuminates the middle of the lake. The atmosphere is calm and serene, the chirping of both birds and crickets filled the place. Ryousuke decided it was best for them to start fishing in the early morning when most people won't see them. The thoughtfulness and consideration warmed Kazui, he still doesn't feel like he deserves any of it.

Kazui hears the rental shop behind him finally open, he doesn't bother looking back, worried that he'll be let down when he doesn't see Ryousuke by the stall. He instead focuses on kicking small rocks into the lake, forming ripples as it bounces before fully sinking. It reminds him of the lies that rippled throughout his past life before being dragged under his own skin from his own tricker. The pebble sinks, its shape transforming into a gruesome sight. A mangled body lies in front of him. The clear blue lake becomes muddied, blue into brown. His knees seemingly weak, brown into crimson, a queasy scream erupts inside him. The knees of his pants feel soaked. From blood? Tears? He doesn't know. He hears bones cracking, the lifeless pebble is still warm to the touch. The mangled body is now in the corridor. He can't breathe. The protruding knife stuns him. He hears shallow breaths turn into buzzing silence. He hears Kusunoki wail from the panopticon, he hears Kashiki sobbing as she leaves Shiina’s cell. His own voice shouts a second time.

A fishing rod appears right before him. The lake returns to normal.

“Sorry it took so long!” Cool green eyes meet him, his body calms down from being isolated. Keys dangle from his finger, Kazui's eyes sway to its movement. “We should go now, Kazui. I still have a lot planned for us today.”

He hates how his presence alone pulled him out of his spiral.

Ryousuke notices his silence. “Getting cold feet on me? You wound me, Kazu!” He grabs Kazui's waist and pulls him in closer, his mouth forming a playful smirk. “We didn't even have our first date yet.”

He takes a step back to regain footing. He doesn't know if the heat he's feeling is from the sun or from the sudden contact. He formulates a lie nevertheless, “just had a bad dream earlier, sorry.” He grabs the fishing rod from his friend's hand. “Shall we then?”

The pier consisted mainly of rental boats. He remembers how he and Ryousuke would rent boats whenever they wanted to catch up. Ryousuke didn't own a boat until he was 30 as a gift from his father before passing. His friend stops in his tracks when the sole guy who was fishing docks his boat beside the one Ryousuke rented.

“Shinba-kun?” the man calls out, “it's been a while!” He drops the cooler he's holding to wave his hand. “Is this your friend?” he asks as he points to Kazui.

“Hirose-chan!” Ryousuke greets back to him. He takes Kazui's arm and interlocks it with his own. “Yeah, my boyfriend, actually.”

The detective’s face reddens out in embarrassment, his heartbeat goes twofold. He flicks the bartender’s neck with his finger before bowing to cover the shame on his face. “Ryousuke!”

Ryousuke laughs at him. “I've never seen you this shy, Kazui!” He uses his hand to cup Kazui's chin and force him to look at his other friend.

When Kazui's eye inevitably locks in with Ryousuke's friend, he is met by a killer's gaze and unwelcomed eyes. It reminds him of how Ryousuke looked at him in the previous timeline. He steps back instinctively, as if he is a prey to a predator. He wants his mask back on. He feels Ryousuke tug his hand, it somewhat calms him down.

Hirose lets out a snarl, his face warps into pure disgust and hatred. “Didn't know you were one of those faggots. Glad you fucking left before you infected the whole restaurant.” He grabbed his cooler in one swift motion and left quickly in huge strides like he's in a hurry. He made sure to let his steps and grunts be heard, his vulgar grumbles audible enough for the two friends to hear as he leaves the dock.

“Fuck off to you as well!” Ryousuke shouts in retaliation, his brows creasing before softening when he looks back to his best friend. Kazui appreciates the gesture.

“Now, where were we?”

.
.
.

“Who was that?” Kazui asks after Ryousuke has decided on a fishing spot. The look on Hirose’s face is implanted in his memory, even if he didn't know him personally. It scared him, to be directly seen in such a disgusting manner. He grips his tote bag for comfort.

Ryousuke grabs a hook and lure from the tackle box. “Don't mind him,” he says, “just a friend from my previous job.” He casts a line into the water. “Well, was my friend before that stunt he pulled.”

He stands from where he was sitting, clutching the insides of his bag, courtesy of Hinako’s persistent recommendations. “Ryo?” Kazui calls out, waiting for him to look back at him. “T-this is for you.” He stutters, his voice weak as he reaches out the thing he brought.

“A-ah!” He receives it with no grace, his calloused hands almost fumbling it out of the rental boat. This is the first time Kazui hears him being flustered with him, he counts that as a win. “This is…”

Kazui lets go of the now empty bag, the anxiousness in his chest being replaced with eagerness waiting for his friend's answer. He fiddles with his own fishing rod, doing the necessary steps before casting his own line and propping his own rod beside his friend's. He scans Ryousuke out of his peripheral vision. He keeps looking at the bouquet of roses then back at him, seemingly unable to find any words to say. He finds it cute.

“You know,” he takes a whiff of the flowers, “I never thought I'd get the opportunity to be on the receiving end.” Ryousuke's face softens as he touches and caresses the petals. He gently puts it down before approaching Kazui's side, resting his chin on his shoulder as he does so. “Thanks, I like it a lot.

He likes the touch and melts into it. He slowly sits down in the chair by the rods, letting Ryousuke adjust to the position as he sits beside him, too. Fishing between them has always been a waiting game, sometimes accompanied by beer but Ryousuke supposes it was too early this time. Their usual trivial stories chattering up the simple atmosphere is replaced by a small and comforting silence. Kazui’s hands lay on his friend's lap and Ryousuke immediately caresses as if it's his own. They stay like that for a while, letting the serene atmosphere lull them into their own bubble where the world is theirs only. Kazui's mind shivers at the thought, he still feels that he doesn't deserve such peace .

His own fishing rod jitters and Kazui resists to go for it instantly. He lets the man resting on his shoulder to adjust, willfully ignoring the envious face plastered on him. He grabs the rod and reels the catch. It goes smoothly; he grabs the tip of his line to take a good look at the catch.

A small rainbow trout is in Kazui's hand. He shows it to Ryousuke who has to squint. They both agree that it was still young and he had to let it go. He sighs, opening the tackle box to reload his rod a second time. He throws his line and promptly sits back. They both find themselves to be in the same position as before, letting the waiting game continue and the content ambience surround them.

Ryousuke breaks the silence this time around.

“Kazui-kun?”

The detective looks at him, confused. They both agreed to disregard the honorifics, per the bartender's request. He still honors the question.

“What is it?”

“When did it start?” Ryousuke looks at his friend's eyes. “And why? Why me?” Then, he looks away, steering his gaze towards their static fishing rods.

Kazui cannot decipher his eyes. He feels a pit in his stomach opening. He knows how Ryousuke would normally act, he knows how rambunctious he can be, he knows how cautious he had been. He tries not to think too hard about the situation they are in. The thought of showing his inner workings to his weary best friend still feels wrong for him. He deflects the question and asks his own, instead.

“Why are you asking that now?”

Ryousuke stays silent for a while, his left leg bouncing. He remains focused on their rods, waiting for the inevitable movement of his own. “C’mon Kazui. I'm just trying to have a conversation with you!” He finally stands up as his own fishing rod twitches uncontrollably.

“All of my past girlfriends, well, we had little to no connections,” he grabs his rod and tries to reel it in, “so I know that my usual line of questioning wouldn't really work with you.” He finally succeeds in reeling it in, a huge smile showing on his face after catching a black bass. He shoves it into his own cooler and adds in a new bait to his rod. “But with us, we're just doing what we had always done,” he throws his fishing line, “but it still feels weird to me. It's like we're starting from the ground up, like we had never done this kind of activity before.”

Ryousuke leans by the boat, observing the lake's coast. He notices that more people are arriving. “There's something tingling inside me that I've never experienced before with you.” He looks back at Kazui, seemingly looking for a response. “It would be a great help if you can tell me what you have been feeling, then maybe, I can put a name on what this strange feeling that’s making me feel like that I'm on edge.”

The taller man lets out a light laugh, he's not used to Ryousuke being clueless in love. He closes his eyes and reminisces about the day when it all painfully started. As much as it was the moment he held dear in his heart, it was also the same memory where his suffering snowballed into its own rabbit hole of misery and resentment. Still, he cherishes it.

“Remember the day where I got injured while we were running track?” Kazui looks at his friend, Ryousuke’s eyes looking bewildered. “And you stayed beside me throughout the day because you thought I would be lonely. You even begged for the nurse to not kick you out. That day was so special to me, Ryousuke.”

His eyes wander upwards, the sun’s warm embrace is being blocked by the fluffy clouds. “We even had a test that day, but you insisted that I needed company. You even accompanied me home, fully knowing that Father would probably lecture you alongside me.” Kazui confesses, his heart is lighter than before.

“That day?” Ryousuke asks. “Isn't that…?”

“Yeah, middle school. I've liked you since middle school.” The pit in his gut fades, the butterflies in his insides finally flying away after being contained for so long.

Ryousuke stops leaning and decides to fix his posture. His eyes are looking straight at his friend, seemingly contemplating. “That's almost a decade and a half, Kazui.” He says as he rubs the back of his neck. “That's kind of flattering, Kazu.” He returns by Kazui's side and lets out a deep sigh. “But why inflict that torture on yourself?”

“Because I've always admired you. Even back then when we were still in second grade.” Kazui's voice settles when Ryousuke returns next to him. “Aside from your handsome looks, your personality is something that I aspired to be.”

“Hey!” Ryousuke turns his head towards him, a smirk forming in his face. “That's my usual line!” He then points his finger to Kazui's chest, his voice teasing. “And what do you mean by that?!”

The sun’s light bathes his friend in an illuminating aura. Kazui welcomes the sight in front of him. “You’re the first person to see my flaws and didn't judge me differently. Father always forced me to do good in school, but you saw through my act and still treated me the same.” He drops his head, clasping his hands as he lets out more of his hidden secrets. “Hell, you even brought me out of my shell and made me do stuff my family wouldn't let me do. I wouldn't even like fishing if it weren't for you, Ryo.”

The bartender merely stares at him, dazed. Kazui takes it as a sign to continue.

“You’re this bundle of energy that wants the best for everyone. You supported me with what I liked. You're charismatic and you know what's the best to say. You please everyone near you and carry a good mood around…”

He takes a quick pause to look at his childhood friend in the eyes.

“You're someone who's unashamed for who you are. And you barely lie, Ryousuke. I envy that. Every time you teased me back then, I became this scalding hot mess of a guy and I despised the thoughts that always came after. Because I wanted more, so much more, but I knew I couldn't.”

“Hey hey! Hey! Kazui! St-stop!”

Kazui sees Ryousuke covering his mouth. He notices the red tint forming on his cheeks and how his eyes shied away from him. He wants to burn this new fond memory in the back of his retinas. He sees how Ryousuke looks back at the bouquet, then to the fishing rods, then to his eyes, then his gaze settles at his shoes. Kazui gently sprawls his hand over his back, his fingers slowly tapping his friend to give comfort if he needs it.

The unsteady rhythm of the thumping of his feet filled their boat and Kazui couldn't stop himself from laughing from Ryousuke's actions.

“It feels warm, Kazui!” He blurts out as he rubs circles on his palms. “Do not praise me like that!”

“You asked for it?”

Ryousuke finally looks back. “I thought you were just going to say shit like you liked my physique when we were in the shower room after P.E. class!”

Kazui grins almost immediately and Ryousuke slumps over at the implication. “I’m not… not used to this,” he audibly mumbles, “at all.” He grabs a bottle of water near the cooler that he brought and takes a sip. “I’m supposed to be the silver tongued boyfriend! Is this what being complimented by someone you hold high regards to feels like?”

It was Kazui's turn to become a mess, immediately recoiling from his seat and looking away.

“All bark, no bite, Kazu-kun?”

A stray hand creeps up to his waist and Kazui feels his breath hitch. He coughs and tries to wring the hand away, it instead tightens its grip more. “Sh-shut up.” He shivers indulgently as the hand finds a way inside his shirt. Kazui gasps as he tries his best to break free.

Kazui stands up and breaks contact, immediately taking care of his fishing rod that started moving. He tries to reel it in one go but fails. He hears Ryousuke laughing from behind him and he gives him a glare. His friend then stands up and accompanies him.

“Need some help?”

“Just stand there and look pretty.”

“Always am.”

Kazui scoffs as he reels the newly caught fish. Another rainbow trout, big enough for the cooler this time. He reloads the fishing rod and asks Ryousuke a question he's been wanting to ask.

“So what do you think? Still want to continue it with me?” He doesn’t look him in the eye. He doesn't want to see his eyes. Even after everything, he's still a coward.

Ryousuke stands still for a second and touches his chin as he thinks. “I already have a reservation for our lunch,” his mouth forms a grin, “yeah, kinda. I don't want that to become a waste.”

His own face looks bewildered, Kazui thinks. His own heart starts beating faster. He never thought he'll actually have the chance to go past being friends with the man he has loved for almost three decades. He feels his face contort into a smiling mess, his cheeks hurt from grinning. He uses his hand to cover himself from Ryousuke but his friend stops him. The feelings of doubt loom over him, uncertain whether all of this is true or if Ryousuke is merely pitying him. He forcibly looks away.

“Ryo? Why stay? You're aware that this isn't like normal relationships, right?” He utters out, hoping for him to have a double take and leave. He doesn't want him to endure the harmful society that they are placed in.

Kazui looks back at his friend for his reaction. He hisses as Ryousuke flicks his forehead.

“Idiot. Think about it, Kazui. Normal couples will get separated at onsens, saunas, and whatnot.” Ryousuke cups Kazui's chin and smiles. “If it's us, we won't get separated and we can fool around together.”

Kazui's eyes squint at him, purposefully disregarding the last part. “What?”

“Am I wrong?”

“No, but-”

Ryousuke shushes him before he can continue. He inches his face closer than necessary, enough for Kazui’s demeanor to waver. “Want me to kiss you to reassure you that I'm willing to stay?”

If it was possible, cartoony hearts and bright red blush lines would surround him. Kazui shakes his head like his life depends on it. Even if this has been a fantasy of him, he's not ready to fully give into his desires just yet. He tries to shield himself but gets greeted by a wet peck in his cheeks instead. He feels his ears heat up and his vision blur. His knees turn weak and he has to use the edge of the boat to balance himself.

Ryousuke laughs at him endearingly before putting his attention to his own fishing rod. He feels his own body buckling from the tug.

“Kazui! We got a big one!”

-

The cold breeze of the morning air assaults him. He couldn't sleep for the past few days due to the guilt creeping up on him. He should've tried harder, he admits. He should've exerted more effort when he was still in Milgram, he confesses. He should've done something with his profession inside that eldritch prison but his carefree attitude wasted it all.

The rising sun’s orange hue arrives at the base of the balcony. More birds are starting to appear and the visible stars are slowly disappearing from the cerulean sky. The case file he is holding is flickering in the wind. Its contents are engraved into his eyes, the gruesome crime scene flashes into his mind every now and then. The folder gains a new crease as he grips it tighter, again. He knows he could've done something, but he didn't. It had totally flown past his mind once he had settled into his new life.

His eyes are drooping, a consequence of his exertion. Still, he must persist. He vows to start a new task for himself, he has to try his best this time, he decides. It is not only for his own ego, but also for the lives of everyone else involved.

The balcony door behind him opens up, the familiar footsteps creeping up on him. “You're awake early, again.” The scruffed chin lands on his shoulder and Kazui indulges on the touch. “Have you even slept?” The voice continues as its hands make way to hug his stomach.

The detective lets out a long sigh as he shakes his head. The bags on his eyes are evidence of it. “Good morning, Ryousuke.”

“Still about the kid? Sakurai Haruka, right?” The bartender asks, leaving a trail of small kisses on his partner's neck. “I've told you, it's not your fault.”

The name weakens his resolve in an instant. He feels Ryousuke grab the file in his hands, removing the possibility of it slipping from his grasp. He still remembers Haruka getting worried about his singing voice, or how Haruka wanted to know his favorite food as a conversation starter. He remembers Haruka’s time in the prison and how much Kusunoki cherished him. Her anguished screams startled him in his cell back then. And even now, he still couldn't fully save him.

Kazui closes his eyes, trying his best to focus on the warmth of Ryousuke's body, trying his best to remove the mental image of Haruka's victim’s face being almost unrecognizable. He tries to forget Haruka's bruises on his own neck and arms. He tries to forget his pleas as he gets dragged by the other police officers. He tries to forget how he didn't recognize him at all.

“I just wish they'd let me visit him soon.” Kazui mutters, moreso to himself. “No kid should endure that much suffering.”

He feels some weight come off his shoulder when Ryousuke hugs him tighter and slips his face into the crook of his neck. He feels wary of his surroundings and of sneaky eyes even if they're so high up. He digresses and relishes into his partner's embrace, taking every amount of warmth his body so desires. Every now and then he'd feel that he's still undeserving of this treatment or of how it all turned out, yet still Ryousuke grounds him back up. The hands on his stomach suddenly begin pulling him.

“Zuzu, let's go back to bed.” Sleepiness still evident in his voice, woken up only to drag the detective back in their bed. “We need all the rest for our appointment with Hina-chan later.”

Kazui concedes, letting his friend drag him back, he thinks he might actually need to force himself to sleep this time. They both lay on the bed with Ryousuke guiding him into a comfortable position. His head is gently laid on his partner's chest, settling into a state of relaxation from its rise and fall. The heaviness in his heart sinks, being replaced into a lulling satisfaction.

He looks up, seeing Ryousuke staring right back at him.

The bartender cocks his eyebrows. “What? I'm waiting for you to actually fall asleep.” He presses a small kiss on the detective's forehead and drapes their blanket over them. “I don't want Hina-chan to scold me for not looking after you.”

The warmth inside Kazui starts to bubble, easing his senses. He hears him whispering some sort of familiar tune and it relaxes him further. The fatigue in his body lets itself be felt and heaviness in his eyes starts to present itself. He smiles contentedly.

“Thank you, Ryo.”

“I love you too.”

The soothing melody eases his inner turmoil and the fingers playing on his hair strands calms his guilt. The mixture of Ryousuke and the blanket’s warmth finally drags him to slumber.

.
.
.

He is alone by the time he wakes up. Kazui doesn't know what time it is but the sun’s rays that are shining brightly onto his face gives him an idea. He stretches his weary bones and can feel how rejuvenated he is. He sits in the quiet for a moment, letting his body adapt to the position after sleeping, fiddling with the golden ornament in his finger in the process.

The moment he exits the bedroom, he is immediately slapped in the face by the smell of a hearty lunch, a sight he is unfamiliar with. Thanks to their professions, Kazui almost always took care of the midday dishes while Ryousuke handled dinner. He sees Ryousuke turning off the stove right before dashing towards him.

“Has my Sherlock Holmes finally rested adequately?” He teases as he grabs him by the waist and gives him a peck in the cheek.

Kazui scoffs at the stupid name. “I'm not that smart, Ryousuke, but yes I got some sleep.”

Ryousuke grins as they both walk towards their dining table. “You didn't argue that you're mine.”

The detective rolls his eyes at how cheesy he is. He grabs Ryousuke's right hand and intertwines it with his own right, both golden wedding bands gleaming under their ceiling light. “Hinako-san would be surprised.”

The bartender smiles fondly as he lets his fiancé sit, letting himself loom over him. “I know you said that we didn't have to be married but…,” he leans over and towers over him, earning a blush from the man sitting, “...I want to let the world know that you're mine.”

Kazui lightly jabs him in his bare shoulders, his cheeks burning in embarrassment and endearment. “We're now both pushing fifty yet you still act like some sort of teenager.”

Ryousuke flexes his arms and teasingly kisses it, leaving Kazui's side with a wink. “If it works it works~” He says in a sing-song voice as he goes back to the kitchen.

He looks at him from afar, lovingly. Watching how energetic and lively his lover acts even during mundane tasks somehow also makes him feel like he's young, as if he's back watching the firework festival in their hometown. The faint tune of music interrupts his thinking, remembering how it's the same tune Ryousuke hummed at him to make him sleep. The CD player that's been a witness to his new life plays at the coffee table with different colorful plastic flowers that he and Hinako bought. The CD case lies near it; it's from one of MILGRAM’s souvenirs, he had deduced after listening to all three. He swears he has hid it all perfectly.

“Ryo?” He calls out. “Where'd you find that CD?”

Ryousuke arrives beside him, putting down a plate of baked rainbow trout, a token from their recent fishing trip, and a plate of seared rump steak, his favorite. Kazui feels his lips water from temptation. He feels a hand pinching his cheek.

“That doesn't matter. I'm more concerned about the fact that you have an original song and didn't bother telling me!” He pinches harder, earning a squeak from the other.

“Ow! Ryousuke!” He rubs the part where he got assaulted, his face immediately turning into a pout. “What was that for?!’

“Because you became more attractive in my eyes! My man can sing and has his own song!”

“If only you knew.”

“Yeah, yeah. Your co-workers from that theatre side gig of yours probably bullied you into doing so.”

Kazui laughs, rising from his seat and cupping his man's face. “Well wouldn't you like to know.” He inches his face closer, hoping to gain some sort of reaction as playful revenge. Instead, hands round up his waist and he is lifted up to the air in one quick motion.

“H-hey!”

“As much as I want to indulge in this tomfoolery, we're going to be late if we keep this up.” He puts him down gently and gestures to sit so they can finally eat. “We still have to go to the mall to grab a gift for Hina-chan’s son.”

Memories of his past life come flashing down. The talk between him and his parents about having a kid dwindled him back then, and the fact Hinako had to help him cover up his shortcomings was torture for both of them. But now, being able to see how happy Hinako is with her new family, the very thing Kazui couldn't fully give her, brings a warm fuzzy feeling to Kazui's insides.

Still, Kazui obliges, savoring the smell of the rump steak in front of him. The faint background music, remnants of his past life, still lingers in the air. It almost makes him want to puke and reconsider his current situation. He looks up at Ryousuke who's innocently eating his own fish, and he thinks how much his life has changed from tragedy into desire. He looks at his fiancé, longingly, and he feels how his deepest regrets start clawing back at him.

He taps a finger at the table, a question bubbling in his throat. “Ryousuke? Can I ask something?”

The bartender swallows what he is eating and nods, placing back the cutlery by his own rice bowl.

“Have you ever felt that I was disgusting?"

The man in front of him changes his expression almost instantaneously. “What makes you say that?” He reaches out to Kazui's free hand and caresses it. “Are you having those thoughts again?”

The detective merely stares at his plate, a habitual reaction that quietly answers the query. He doesn't want to confess that he already knew and experienced the answer of his prior question.

Ryousuke tilts his head and ponders for a while. “Maybe if I hadn't quit my job as a chef back then.” He answers truthfully, yet his face still shows compassion. “Remember Hirose-chan? The man we met during our first date?” A faint blush rises on his cheeks when he mentions the last part.

Kazui, on the other hand, looks away in annoyance. The buried memory of a deadly glare and hateful remarks slice right through him like it was just yesterday.

“I think that we would be good friends, unfortunately. And, well…,” he squeezes Kazui's hand tighter, “I might become influenced by him.”

“You can still leave if you want to.” He unknowingly blurts out. His eyes go wide when he catches himself a tad bit too late, covering his mouth like it can undo what he just said. “I… I mean-”

“Really reminds me of our first date, then.” Ryousuke gives him a reassuring smile, a gesture he has done every time they undergo this similar conversation. “But you do bring a good point!”

“Ryousuke?”

He gives Kazui a devilish smirk. “I have blackmail now!” He pulls the hand he has been caressing all throughout and sucks on a finger like a popsicle.

The detective’s rational thinking goes haywire. The immediate sensory pleasure renders him speechless and unable to move. He stares at the way his tongue moves and how erotic it looks. He hears Ryousuke giggling when a moan escapes from his mouth.

“Just like how loud you can get in be-”

“Ryousuke!”

“Kidding, kidding!” The bartender grabs a tissue and wipes the mess he made. “How can I let such a handsome, tall, and strong man back into the sea? Besides,” he raises his hand and points at the golden band in his finger, “we're both in this together already. I proposed to you for a reason, Zuzu. I mean it.”

Kazui sighs, finally returning to his normal senses. The afterthoughts of his past life fades back into the deepest parts of his mind. He laughs for even doubting his soon-to-be husband. “That was stupid of me.” He looks at the finger Ryousuke had sucked earlier and teasingly licks on it, too.

“Kazui!” Ryousuke's eyes jitter around chaotically before fully focusing on the cutlery on his bowl. The edges of his ears and sides of his neck start to turn crimson, the reaction that Kazui wanted to see earlier. He then looks at the wall clock and jumps slightly.

“Hey! Eat faster! I don't want to meet an angry Hina-chan!”

“But Hinako’s always been kind to me.”

“To you! Just s-shut up and eat!”

-

The whole process is tedious, Kazui decides. There was no reason for it to involve a lot of paperwork just to gain a piece of paper that recognizes them as official relationship partners. He digresses, letting Ryousuke handle all the talking with his suave and charismatic aura. After what seems like forever, they took a photo and accomplished what they had come for. The now-recognized couple opens the door and is greeted by three faces.

“Congratulations on the newly weds!” Hinako’s voice echoes throughout the office and Kazui tries his best to calm her down. On her hand is a bottle of white wine, a gift for the couple she's visiting, which the detective gladly accepts.

“Not exactly married,” Ryousuke corrects her, interlocking his arm with Kazui's, “but a celebration nonetheless.” He angles himself and plants a kiss on his husband's jaw.

“H-Hey! There are kids here!” Kazui argues back despite his body language saying otherwise. He instinctively leans towards his partner and melts into his side.

“Kazui-san, we know how couples work. We were made from it.” A warm and cold voice greets him from behind Hinako. Her voice is much higher than when he first met her.

A hand tugs on Kazui's sleeve, the same hand offers him a basket full of bee-shaped cookies. “Muu made this for you as a gift.”

A younger Kashiki joins the older Kusunoki’s side, grabbing her arm and dragging her away. “Kazui-san! You know where to find us okay? We'll save you guys a seat! Congratulations for finally being your true self! I really clocked you so early on, huh!”

“But Muu wants to stay for a while…”

Hinako gazes at the exit doors, admiring the two teenage girls leaving the premises. “I'm still kind of surprised you made such a good impression with those young girls.” She says, grabbing the basket of pastries in Kazui's hand to free up space. “How'd you even meet them?”

Memorized verses repeat in Kazui's head. They're the daughters of his theatre friends and it always works. Memorized verses repeat in Kazui's mouth. It satisfies Hinako and Ryousuke. Ever the skilled liar, Kazui is.

“Hina-chan! Sorry to be a bother but can you hold the wine again? Just for a second!” Ryousuke pleads, his arm still interlocked with Kazui's. He feigns ignorance when his partner shakes his head, continuing to keep him in place.

Hinako defeatedly grabs the wine bottle back and Ryousuke erupts in a fit of laughter.

In one swift motion, Kazui is swept off of his feet and is carried into a bridal position. “Ryousuke! Put me down!”

He ignores his wishes and spins once, leaving Kazui in a daze. “We're definitely moving to France to have an official wedding. Japan's so stupid, y'know?!” He laughs as his husband clings to him like his life depended on it. He lifts Kazui closer to his face and whispers something. “But for now we'll get to make so many babies.”

Kazui visibly blushes from the obvious tease. “We're literally half a decade apart from fifty.” He ruffles Ryousuke's hair from his position as he rebuts. “Don’t you think we should focus on something else?”

“Yeah! Like how we need to celebrate.” Hinako retorts from the side, sitting in a vacant chair with the gifts by her side. “You two can go get a room after we're done!” She playfully rolls her eyes as she grabs her phone to take a picture of her two idiotic friends.

The bartender heartily laughs after being called out. He leaves a small kiss on Kazui's ring, and then to his face before he brings him down on his feet. He grabs both of the gifts in one hand and drags Kazui’s arm with the other. “Then celebrate we shall!”

The trio exits the building with Kazui leading them the way. The two ex-prisoners had already planned to give the couple a small party before the official dinner later on the day. Kashiki, despite now being the younger of the two, still insisted on picking the café, much to Kusunoki’s dismay.

They all reunited after Kazui followed Hinako’s advice of creating a social media account. A 17-year old Kusunoki found him first, then Kashiki regained her memories post-MILGRAM just this year. They all deduced that the two prisoners who received an all innocent verdict got sent back into the time before their murder started, with Kashiki before she started her compensated dating. Kusunoki, on the other hand, returned to the time she and Rei were fighting, just a moment away before she committed her act.

“There they are! Have a seat!” Kashiki greeted them from their table located outside the cafe. Kusunoki is beside her, already talking with one of the waitresses. She gives them a wave when their eyes meet, her eyes beaming with adoration when she sees Hinako and Kazui already taking a try of her pastries.

Ryousuke places the gifts on the table and immediately plays with Kazui's hair as the detective sits. The coziness settles between the five, exchanging conversations and questions, but mainly the two teenagers asking the husbands how they met and their relationship developed. Kazui had no resolve to fight with his husband's recollection, only correcting his exaggerated storytelling every now and then. Instead, he becomes more lively when Ryousuke starts asking Hinako about the cases they solved together and how Kazui was as a colleague.

An hour passes and all he has felt is being the butt of the joke. He takes another of Kusunoki’s cookies as Hinako stands up and approaches Ryousuke. She whispers something in his ear, then grabs him by the same ear when he shakes his head.

“Ow ow ow! Okay, okay! Hina-chan!” He quickly stands up and follows her. He offers an apology before he starts following her. “I forgot to buy something! We'll come back later!” He shouts back to the remaining group before making haste to catch up with Hinako's pace.

The moment the two exits their vision, a dainty hand prods at Kazui. He looks to the culprit and is greeted by worried eyes, and beside her is a sigh of relief.

“Finally, some time alone.” Kashiki says, her own posture slouching.

“Is Haruka-kun okay?” Kusunoki asks, her tone concerned. She had been asking about him every time they got out together. Still, his answer remains just the same as last time.

He doesn't want Kusunoki to worry, so he leaves out a small amount of information. “He's still in rehabilitation, Kusunoki-chan.” She doesn't need to know how heartbreaking he looks and acts without a mother figure in his life. He tries to not stutter when he sees Kashiki roll her eyes. “I'm afraid he still doesn't remember us.”

“That tracks.” Kashiki announces, her eyes focused on her remaining coffee she's lazily stirring. “I found Mahiru-san with her boyfriend, but…”

When the other two could sense she couldn't finish the sentence, the blonde gets out of her seat and hugs her. “We got through this once,” she tries to rub Kashiki’s back, Kashiki allows her, “we’ll do it again.”

She stops stirring and hugs Kusunoki back. “Muu-chan, thank you. I really needed this warmth.”

She grabs one of her cookies and gives it to Kashiki, which the latter accepts. “Ah, right! Muu asked Father about our other friends because of his connections.” She then looks at Kazui. “He found Mikoto-kun but said he had already quit his job so now they don't have any leads. At least that's what Muu remembers.”

“Speaking of, I also found Fuuta’s social media accounts. They're all private, though.” She bites into the cookie, her icy gaze melting into a warm smile. “I tried messaging him in those accounts as well, but nothing.”

Kazui counts his fingers, each for the prisoners they had finally found. “That leaves us Shidou-kun, Yuzuriha-chan, and Amane.” He lets out a tired sigh. “I'm not really a good detective aren't I? I couldn't even find traces of Amane's cult or religion.” He remembers Amane’s blank stare and her pursuit for knowledge and autonomy despite being a kid, and he hopes to see it again one more time, but this time in a much more friendlier environment. He wonders if Ryousuke would mind if they adopted her, given the chance. He feels a hand by his arm for a third time today.

“If we follow the pattern of Haruka-kun and Mahiru-san, Shidou-san might not even remember us. And knowing Kotoko-san, she wouldn't use her real name in whatever social media she's using.” Kashiki gives him her best and warmest smile, a now-common occurrence after reuniting. “What matters for now is that we three are fine.”

“Muu thinks Yuno’s correct.”

“Y-yeah, she is.”

Kusunoki’s gaze lingers behind Kazui, her eyes widening in shock. She raises her hand and points her finger directly behind him. The two ex-prisoners' eyes follow suit. Their reactions are almost the same as Kusunoki's.

“Warden-san?!” The two girls shouted in unison.

Alongside their Warden is Ryousuke, who’s currently being assaulted by words and the Warden's rabbit plushie, and behind them is Hinako who’s holding a box of newly purchased cake with a confused look on her face.

“Zuzu! Help me!” Ryousuke calls out, both his hands trying its best to deflect whatever soft punches the Warden tries.

Kazui frantically stands up and rushes to them, his heart beating faster with every step he takes. He couldn't believe his eyes; that he would meet them again after all the time they've spent within the prison, and after the time he had spent after being transported back in time. When their eyes meet, the Warden stops harassing the bartender and flashes a warm smile to him. All he could do is just run towards them, his eyes already forming a watery mess.

He kneels as he hugs them, tears finally flowing as he does so. The Warden merely lets him, patting his back and his hair every now and then. Kazui's heart screams from the agony he had experienced the last time he was with them. It screams in contentment for being the first person to accept him for who he is. It screams in delight for giving him the courage he needed to proceed with his new life.

“Es-kun, thank you so much.”

They just smile, and Kazui already feels like it contains a million words with how much it affects him.

“Have you been desperate this time?”

Kazui shakes his head.

“Have you been suffering this time?”

He shakes his head again.

“Have you finally been living like your true self just like how you have always wanted?”

He nods.

“Has it been worthwhile?”

He nods again.

“Then I'm happy for you, Kazui.”

Es finally returns the hug and he becomes more of a sobbing mess. Ryousuke's and Hinako's concerned eyes can do nothing but watch as the detective lets out his repressed gratefulness for the 9-year old kid in front of him.

“Yuno-chan? Who are they?” Hinako asks as Kashiki and Kusunoki approach the scene.

The younger teenager, just like the man in front of him, lies in an instant to cover up their weird past. “Just like us. They're one of the children of his theatre colleagues. You could say that they saved his…” Kashiki hesitates, only gaining the resolve when Kusunoki grips her hand. “No... They saved our lives. But we couldn't thank them for a long while due to reasons we are also not aware of.” Still, her eyes wander back to the Warden, also waiting for a moment when she can finally express her gratitude, too.

Es breaks free of the contact but their hands are still comforting the older man. “The moment I heard Hinako’s voice when she was buying a cake, I knew I had to follow her so I could get to you.” They look behind him, eventually locking eyes with the other two prisoners. They give them a comforting smile before returning their attention to the teary-eyed man. “I just didn't expect I would see the man that caused your suffering to be with her.”

“H-hey! What's that supposed to mean?!”

Kazui laughs, then the Warden, and finally the other two.

“Is this some kind of inside joke?” Ryousuke retorts, his voice higher than usual. Kusunoki cheekishly nods at him as a response.

“Es-kun, he's my husband now.” He confesses as he points towards the band on his ring finger, the same color as what Ryousuke is wearing.

The Warden blankly stares at him, then to Ryousuke, and then back at him. Then as tradition, they lightly punch him in the stomach. “Sorry, my hand slipped.” They smirk as Kazui jokingly writhes in pain, playing along with them. “As much as I think it's so stupid of you to confess to him again, I'm happy that you got what you've always wanted.” They say, only loud enough for the detective to hear. Kazui appreciates it a lot to hear it directly from them.

Kusunoki approaches them and takes Es by the arms like they're some child-sized doll, returning to their table at the café. The Warden's limbs immediately go limp in defeat. “Muu thinks that we have a lot to talk about.”

Kashiki follows after her. “Just like who's taking care of you now.”

“Kotoko found me.”

“What?!”

Hinako looks at the three young kids, their lively chatterings inaudible from afar. “What an eventful day it has been.” She looks back at the couple that's now standing side-by-side and smiles. “I'll prepare the cake with them. Come inside when you're done, okay?”

As Hinako leaves, Kazui feels a hand on his shoulder. “You’re really fond of the kid, huh?” Ryousuke asks, his eyes still focused on their table at the cafe. The hand on his shoulder drags him closer to him so their skin can touch.

“Yeah.” He looks at his side and notices how Ryousuke’s eyes are beaming with happiness. The man of his dreams that he had loved for a very long time stands in front of him. “You know who else I am fond of?”

Ryousuke looks toward him and catches him staring. A cheeky grin forms on his face, and just like earlier, he grabs him by the waist and carries him up.

The wind’s breeze hits right through them and all they can do is laugh under the cloudy sky. Kazui looks at the man under him in such longingness that he feels like crying again. For this man, his world, to become his husband is a dream come true.

“Is it me?”

“Of course it is.”

Ryousuke gently puts him down as he moves his face closer, waiting for Kazui to do the same. And when he finally does, their lips meet and they share a passionate kiss. Kazui feels like he could stay like that forever, with the embrace and touch of his partner. He feels like he's in paradise, to be able to express this action with the man that he always wanted.

And when they do part, all the two of them could do is erupt in a fit of giggling laughter. They pay no mind to Hinako’s camera or the cheering of the teenagers.

“God, Kazui. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, always.”