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“Whoa, whoa, whoa! What’s the rush, little lady? Not very polite to slam into a total stranger on the street, y’know that? Though maybe they don’t teach you as much in whatever fancy-pants manner school you attend…”
Ralsei pulled the brim of her hat lower on her head and shuffled her knees in towards her body from her current knocked-on-her-bum position. Having been recognized as a lady (!!!) of class was already bad enough in a small town such as this one, but to have her face recognized would be tantamount to suicide.
She’d gotten quite far from her empty kingdom, by now, but she was still within the territory of the Card Kings, and she knew well they harbored no shortage of ill will for her kingdom’s prophecy. Even if she had nothing to do with its creation, or wished desperately to escape from the rotten thing.
“Hey now, darling, it’s rude to hide your face like that. I’m an honest gentleman, you understand? It really quite hurts my feelings, for you to imply otherwise. Unless you’ve got something to hide…?”
The Pippins (now, she realized, upon getting a glimpse of his face) knelt down to leer under her brim, offering a hand that she knew had a cost. Of course, not taking that hand would have a cost, too. She glanced around the town square from her low vantage point—plenty of feet traveling past, conducting their errands and minding their business. Not so many, if any, clued into her current predicament. So this was the sort of place where nobody lifted a finger for a stranger, she thought. Noted.
“I, um, I do apologize, sir, I’m just quite disoriented from a long day of travel…” She moved to stand, dusting off her behind and making a mental note that she would have to launder her dress again soon, but found her way blocked.
“Oh, well, I can only imagine, especially as a little runaway, hmm?”
Ralsei stumbled backwards, leaning herself against a brick wall. She moved her mouth as if to say something, but—
“Oh, come on, sweetheart, don’t act so shocked—you don’t see many ladies of your class without an escort, ‘less they got something to hide. Now, like I said, I’m an honest man, and I wouldn’t want to fall out of anyone’s favor, y’know? So I’m afraid I’ll just have to return you back home… unless y’got the traveling money to prove you’re on honest business?”
He swept his thumb across his other fingers—so it was money he was after. If only her mockery of a kingdom wasn’t penniless and treasureless.
“I… nobody’s looking for me, back home,” she warned, preparing to swipe with her scarf should push come to shove. “I’m afraid you’re wasting your time, good sir; nobody would pay a ransom for somebody such as myself.”
“Ha, well, we can see what the Card Kings have to say about that, can’t we?”
Angel above, she’d hoped to avoid making her way into the rumors circulating from town to town. But if she had to fight, then—
There was the thump of heavy footsteps and a gruff voice from Ralsei’s side. “Hey, my lady, is this blockhead bothering you? I’d love to get rid of him for you, so just say the word, darling.”
The figure to her right looked, if anything, to be more trouble than the Pippins—ripped sleeves revealing the sort of built musculature that Ralsei hadn’t even thought possible until just then, wild hair hiding their eyes while the rest of their magenta snout read danger with pointed yellow teeth.
And yet.
“You’re a hero,” Ralsei mumbled, hardly believing the words that escaped her own mouth.
“HA! Me? A hero? Heh, well, if you insist, little lady.” The figure—no, her name was Susie, Ralsei recalled unbidden—gave the princess a toothy smirk, the yellow of her eye lit by the sun for a brief moment.
“Whoa, hey now, miss, I don’t think you wanna associate with her—” the Pippins backtracked, clambering back with his arms raised.
“Yeah, and I think she doesn’t wanna associate with you, pal, so why not go mess with someone your size? Unless you wanna get your ass kicked,” Susie glowered, thumping her frankly massive axe (how Ralsei missed that the first glance around was a mystery) against her shoulder.
It didn’t take any more convincing for the Pippins to vanish back into the rush of the crowd, and for Ralsei to exhale a long-held breath. Until her so-called hero grabbed her arm and tugged her into an alley, at least.
“H-huh—”
“Hey, that guy warned you, didn’t he? That I’m not the hero you think I am.”
From the angle Ralsei was at, tugged close against Susie’s chest, she couldn’t read the drake’s face—given she’d let her weapon fall to the dirt, though, and the thumping of her heart, she decided to remain against her better judgment.
“Listen, so here’s the deal. I’m sorta… a drifter, you could call it. A vagabond, like you, ‘cept I get by on taking down losers who look at me funny. Now, you seem like the sort of girl who attracts all the wrong attention. No offense, princess, but you stick out like a sore thumb. So I was thinking… you could use a bodyguard to get wherever you’re going, I could use some spare cash. You get my drift?”
“I, um, I do hate to disappoint, but… I’m penniless, at the moment, miss Susie.”
At that, the ruffian took another step back, pushing her hair out of her face to reveal the full intensity of her yellow eyes, glinting with… avarice, or perhaps something else?
“Nah, I’m not talking about spare cash from you.” She reached in her pocket and spun a Dark Dollar on her claw, the coin catching what little midday light settled into the alley. “I’ll just beat the crap out of anyone who thinks you’re an easy target and take their money. They get what’s coming to them, you get to stay safe, and I get to thrash people without getting thrown in jail.”
From what Ralsei could tell, this girl was… completely, utterly sincere. Maybe a little too sincere for somebody whose pastime was violence. She could already hear it, the tales being spun from town to town about the violent, axe-wielding tormentor… and her fluffy, green-hatted princess companion. And that just wouldn’t do.
“Umm, I do appreciate the protection, but would there be any way for you to do all of that… without violence?” Ralsei batted her lashes at her maybe-soon-bodyguard, praying her best attempt at puppy-dog eyes were useful.
“…Without violence.” Her voice was flat, and, Ralsei presumed, utterly unswayed.
“Say, um, perhaps you could just… stand there… and be intimidating?” Which Susie was doing a great job of now, Ralsei could add. Angel, so this was the physique of a Hero.
“Oh, you mean, like, threatening people? Sure, I’m great at that. Watch.”
Like the useless prey animal she was, Ralsei froze as Susie scruffed her by her fuchsia-colored scarf and pinned her against the town bakery’s wall, plucking her hat from its resting place atop her head and casting it to the ground.
“Now listen, princess. Little miss overgrown Rabbick. I don’t know how you know my name, or what made your fluffy little head decide I’m some sorta ‘hero’.”
She ran a claw through the stark-white fur at Ralsei’s neck, drawing up a shiver as she crossed her jugular and moved upwards towards tracing her chin.
“But I’m being real nice to you right now by not turning your hide over to the Card Kings so they can make themselves a nice little fur coat, y’hear? And I’m even trying to protect you, out of the good of my own heart. So you gotta be nice to me, too. That’s how things work around here. If I ever find out you’re trying to turn me in to the guards around here… well, you’re going down with me, because they don’t like either of us. Okay? Us outsiders have to stick together. Or else… maybe you’ll find yourself…”
There was hot breath against Ralsei’s ear, and the tug of sharp teeth pulling on its furry lop.
“With your pretty little face bit off,” Susie whispered, lifting the princess’s ear and nosing her snout under for maximum effect. Her point made, she dropped Ralsei to the ground, flushed rose-red with adrenaline and heavy with an indescribable burning in her core.
“Well,” Susie stepped back, dusting her hands and smirking in just the right way to flash only the sharps of her teeth, “How’s that? Threatening enough for you?”
“Y-y-yes!!!” Ralsei yelped, her scrambled mind in no state to link together two or more words at once. She tried anyways. “I mean, um, maybe, we don’t, threaten everyone, like that, but you were very scary, and I, um, feel like, I’d be very safe, if you were protecting me, and I absolutely don’t report you to anyone, but also maybe we could try, being nice sometimes?”
“Heh. Man, you’re a wuss, but I guess I shouldn’t expect anything else from a princess.”
Mercifully, a coherent thought crossed Ralsei’s mind. “Umm, how did you know, that I was…”
Susie shrugged, her head turned up toward the sky. “I dunno, how’d you know my name?”
“It, um… it just, came to me,” Ralsei admitted, leaving out the meat of her explanation.
“Well then, same here. Though I’m gonna need your name if you want me to call you anything other than ‘Princess’, m’lady.” She extended a hand, one which Ralsei took after a moment’s hesitation.
“You may call me Ralsei, miss Susie. And if you will it, I shall have you as a bodyguard, though I can offer no pay nor accommodations.”
“Deal,” Susie agreed, shaking the princess’s hand with enough firmness to move her entire arm. “I’ve got this good feeling… like if I stick with you, something interesting’s gonna happen. So count me in, wherever the hell you’re going, Ralsei.”
The prophecy really did work in funny ways, Ralsei thought.