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wonbin met yonghoon about three years ago, when the boy was moved from acting and modelling department to the idol department. he knew people will instantly like yonghoon. younger trainees idolize him, older trainees adore him. wonbin was no exception, although he couldn't deny that there are times when the older is testing his patience.
and that's just how yonghoon is. wonbin remembered the first impression wasn't too great. yonghoon was too bright and lively for him, catching the hearts of his peers (and maybe his too, but wonbin is too prideful to admit. or maybe he just wished he was as lively as yonghoon). wonbin wasn't excluded from the cheerful treatments too. yonghoon would flick wonbin's forehead when wonbin spaced out, or he would nudge wonbin softly so the boy stumbled mid choreography. yonghoon has always been too friendly, too familiar. but he wasn't like that only to wonbin. he has been that person to everyone else, until the line is too blurry for wonbin to convince himself that there could be something.
it has been like that for years. so when yonghoon confessed and they kissed behind the kitchen bars around midnight when the members were asleep, wonbin thought something would change.
nothing has changed.
yonghoon will still teasingly stare at wonbin's eyes until the boy fold. after that, he will run to hug minjae so tight.
well... wonbin cannot blame him, because wonbin is no different. one second he will blurt out the wildest, "i might want to ride you," to yonghoon, and the next second he will be caught giving a peck on yoochan's cheek.
which then wonbin wondered: was their shared midnight kiss a part of the usual familiarity or was it something else?
"bin."
the sound startled wonbin, waking him up from his daydream. yoochan was standing there with a frown.
"you look as if you were going through a marriage problem." yoochan scoffs. wonbin knows behind yoochan's 'seemingly uninterested tone', yoochan is eyeing him from head to toe.
"what marriage problem," he brushes it off.
but maybe yoochan's guess was not so wrong either. he has a marriage problem. or relationship problem. doesn't matter what he calls it.
• • •
so that afternoon, when the members are quarreling to fight over who showers first, wonbin quickly grabs yonghoon's wrist and pull him into his room.
"we need to talk." wonbin exhales heavily.
"about?"
"us." wonbin grips yonghoon's wrist a little tighter. like a tug to yonghoon to pay attention. "i want to make sure. are we dating?"
yonghoon's eyes widened a little, before he lets out a very forced scoff. "yeah? didn't i say i love you and asked you if you want to be my boyfriend that night? before you kissed me?"
too straighforward, wonbin thought. but it's not the point right now.
"hyung-" his throat dries. how should he say this. "yeah, i mean... well, i think we did. maybe."
yonghoon looks at him with his worried eyes. "bin, what is this about?"
"it's just...," wonbin gulps, "it doesn't feel like we're dating... you know? i mean, yes, you hold my hand. you hugged me when i was stressed. but you did that to the others too. i don't know what makes it different whether we dated or not. it's not that i was jealous but then-"
wonbin knows he is rambling. yonghoon, bless his heart, is listening very attentively with his kind eyes. but it won't work if wonbin keeps on beating around the bush. and he hates how he just wants to kiss yonghoon when he looks at wonbin with that eyes.
"then," wonbin clears his throat. suddenly the shoe rack is too attractive in his eyes. "what makes us if we still do things like we used to do?"
"what?"
wonbin groans, "what are we if nothing has changed? if we keep on treating each other the exact same way we treat other people?"
yonghoon didn't answer immediately. but wonbin knows the boy's thought is spiraling. obvious from the way yonghoon's brows are tangled in slight frown. but the silent felt too stretched.
"hyung?"
the soft call makes yonghoon lifts his gaze up to find wonbin's. "i ... thought about that too," he sighs. "but it will be weird if we suddenly get too exclusive. they don't know we're dating yet. not to mention the public's eyes."
"and i cannot just 'not cuddle' semin," wonbin mumbles.
yonghoon steps forward, his gaze never left wonbin's fluttering lashes and how it brushes against wonbin's cheeks whenever he blinks. "we can't just suddenly stop the skinships, can we?"
"yeah...," wonbin sighs. the gears in his head is running, telling him that no matter how much he want exclusivity, yonghoon is right in this matter. their position and thousands of eyes staring at them will make it risky if they just stopped hugging other members.
and to be fair, wonbin can't imagine the life where he is refrained from hugging (strangling) junhyuk or seonghyeon.
"so...."
"so?"
yonghoon bents forward a little, trying to find wonbin's eyes behind his bangs. "i know this isn't ideal. but i think we can always set aside some things that is just for us."
wonbin looks up. his gaze obviously shows his confusion. he understands what yonghoon said, but he just wants to be confused at that moment.
wonbin's lifted head somehow helps yonghoon to reach his intention. he leans closer, one hand on wonbin's cheek and the other around his waist. it's too quick to be processed. but all wonbin knows, yonghoon's lips are still warm and sweet when it meets his. it takes a long second for wonbin to close his eyes and give into how yonghoon leans his head.
it wasn't long. maybe even shorter than how wonbin's brain short-circuited after yonghoon pulls away.
"we can have that. keep that one ours, will you?"