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“--After the Blight I returned to Lothering, but everyone was gone, dread or having fled. I was afraid you were among the dead,” his voice was thick, heavy with remembered emotions. “It wasn't until recently that I heard the name Hawke had become prominent in Kirkwall. I came to see if it was you, I hoped…”
“Aedan,” Ahote said in a strained voice. “We lost Carver in the Blight, when we were trying to escape Lothering. We lost Bethany three years ago to the Blight, too, from the Deep Roads.”
“So it's true? All of this is because of what you found there?” Aedan asked, gesturing around the library of the mansion.
“Yes,” Ahote answered quietly. She stared into the fireplace and took a long drink of wine. “I would give it all up if I could have Bethany and Mother back…” Her face hardened and her gaze snapped back to Aedan, fire burning in her eyes, “If you had been there, she wouldn't have died.”
“Ahote, the life of a Warden would have killed her.” His face was shadowed as he spoke and his eyes grew distant. “She would have been condemned to spending her life in the Deep Roads fighting Darkspawn. She would have been killed and if not she would have experienced the Calling one day.”
“Aedan…” There was something in Ahote's voice, wary and a little afraid.
His gaze returned to her face and he smiled tiredly. “I can hear it, Ahote, at the edges of my mind. It hasn't grown unbearable yet, but this is my last journey. I came to say goodbye.”
“But Sparrow--!” Ahote protested.
“She's a strong girl, she'll be alright,” Aedan nodded approvingly. “You've raised a good girl. I'm sorry I wasn't here for either of you.”
“I've tried, but everything has gone wrong. I don't know if I can protect her here.” Swallowing painfully, Ahote blinked hard, forcing back the sting in her eyes. “It's been over four years since Ostagar, I thought you were dead. There's someone else now, a man named Fenris.”
“I know, I've made my peace with it,” he said, bowing his head. “So long as he treats you and Sparrow well.”
Ahote looked away and asked, “When are you leaving?”
“Tomorrow, sunset.”
“So soon? You arrived today! What about Sparrow? She's only just gotten her father back!” There was a bite to her voice, but Aedan shook his head.
“It's my time, Ahote,” he said wearily. “I'll spend all day tomorrow with her. I want her to remember me as I am now, not how I was before Ostagar. But I can't delay this any longer.”
Aedan stood up and Ahote followed suit. He gathered his cloak and was fastening it around his throat when Ahote asked, “Where are you going?”
“The Blooming Rose,” he answered calmly, turning to look at her. “Our marriage is annulled as of tomorrow. You are with another man now and I will not touch you. Goodnight, Lady Hawke.”
“Aedan…” Ahote couldn’t keep the pleading note out of her voice.
Aedian smiled softly, but bowed politely, took her hand and kissed it, and murmured, “Lady Cousland.”
With that, he was gone into the night. She but her lip painfully and tears began to run down her cheeks. Lady Cousland, after tomorrow she’d have no right to use that name. A name she’d dropped the moment she’d thought her husband dead.
Ahote stood in the entryway of the mansion for a long while before she turned and made her way to her room. The Maker must truly hate her. She'd lost Aedan once, her father, Carver, Bethany, her mother, and now she was losing him all over again. What if she lost Fenris and Sparrow too? There would be nothing left for her to live for.
Ahote sat down and her bed and started blindly into the fire. It was that very fireplace Fenris had stood beside before fleeing after their night together, Bethany's scarf tied around his wrist. She'd lost him already, but she wouldn’t give up on him, not yet…
“Mother?” The sweet voice of her child startled her out of her thoughts. “Is Father really going to die again?” The child asked, crossing the room. She’d overheard everything, then.
Ahote pulled her daughter into a tight embrace and murmured, “Yes.”
Sparrow buried her face in her mother's shoulder, silent tears pouring down her cheeks and said, “At least I get to say goodbye this time.”