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You tossed and turned on the bed, trying to find some comfortable position to sleep in but to no avail. Your thoughts were too preoccupied with small anxieties that you almost always blew out of proportion, even if you didn't mean to. You couldn't help it; that was just how it was for you, and you absolutely hated it. So here you were, lying on an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar apartment with your thoughts constantly switching back and forth from unwarranted worries to pure self-hate. You felt tears start to form in the corner of your eyes, immediately trying to blink them away.
"Stay strong," you reminded yourself over and over again, giving up on sleep and instead forcing yourself to sit up. Slowly, you brought your legs close to your chest and hugged your knees. "It's fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I can do this. I—"
Your desperate fast-paced self-reassurances were interrupted by a choked out sob. You mentally cursed at how absolutely weak you were as you started crying, unable to stop yourself. You didn't even know why you were crying which brought forth even more frustration in your already muddled-up mind. Your eyes scanned the room, trying to find some kind of way to ground yourself, but your vision was far too blurred by the sudden onslaught of tears to properly make out anything. It probably didn't help that you were currently residing in a strange apartment of a deceased person whom you've never met nor heard of. You felt your chest start to tighten, and your breathing grew irregular as your panic started to climb more and more as you felt yourself start to lose control of your own body.
"Deep breaths," you tried to remind yourself, but your mind was full of other clashing thoughts racing by that you started to feel lightheaded.
You desperately gasped and heaved for air in between broken sobs. This was bad. This was getting real bad, real quick. Somehow, throughout your body's betrayal towards you, you had managed to shakily grab hold of your phone that you always kept near you no matter the occasion. You don't know why, but you thought that maybe he could help, and you absolutely needed whatever help you can get at the moment before possibly passing out from lack of air and dizziness.
"What if he's sleeping? Or if he's busy? Won't I be bothering him?" you started getting second thoughts the longer you listened to the phone ring. You were just about to hang up to deal with your "problem" by yourself but then froze when you heard the call connect.
"Hello?"
"Zen," you choked out the actor's name, feeling both relieved and guilty that he picked up your call this late in the night.
You heard loud shuffling from the other line as Zen's voice, laced with concern, asked, "Babe, what's wrong?" Unbeknownst to you, Zen was lying down comfortably on his bed when he picked up his phone, but the moment he heard how vulnerable you sounded, he had immediately sat upright, almost as though preparing to head over to where you were before remembering he had no idea where Rika's apartment was.
You let out a few more sobs, your throat choosing to close on you for a moment before you forced yourself to make it work, "I-I'm sorry, were you sleeping?"
"No," Zen answered immediately, trying to assure you that you weren't bothering him at all, "I was just reading over some of my lines, but that doesn't matter right now. What's wrong? Are you okay?"
"Yeah," you lied, and you could hear just how much of a poor and pathetic attempt it was. You couldn't help but feel relieved when Zen made no comment on it. You continued, "I just...i-is it okay, if you could stay on the line with me? I just... I want to talk."
"Of course," Zen replied, his voice sounding so gentle and caring. You can almost see him smiling sympathetically, even though you've never met face-to-face before. "What do you want to talk about?"
"Anything. ...Anything, just as long as it distracts me."
Zen paused, and you wondered if it was because he was debating as to whether or not he should ask about your reason for calling at this time or what you needed a distraction from. Perhaps he sensed your uneasiness and reluctance on the subject, but he started talking about his new role that he was practising for, much to your gratitude. "To be honest, I'm playing a character I'm not quite used to this time, so I'm a bit nervous if I could pull it off."
"Wh-What is it?" you asked in between small sobs that have already started to slowly die down.
Zen explained the character to you, and you listened attentively, offering a few hums every now and then to tell him that you were still there. You felt the corners of your lips tug slowly tug upwards the more you listened to how passionate Zen sounded through the phone. Without even realizing it, you managed to calm down at some point, allowing yourself to lie back down on the bed as Zen's voice continued to comfort you. You didn't think Zen would ever understand just how grateful you were to him for offering to chat with you in a moment of weakness this late in the night, making a quick mental note to try to do something for him as a small token of appreciation. You doubted you would ever be able to fully repay his kind act. Even if it was just a small and simple gesture like staying on the line, it meant a great deal to you.
"Zen?" you asked when the conversation came to a lull.
"Yeah?"
You hesitated on your question, lightly biting your lower lip, wondering if it was okay for you to be just a tad bit more selfish with him. "...Can you sing me a lullaby?"
You heard the male chuckle before he answered gleefully, "Anything for you, pretty lady."
On the other side of the phone, you heard Zen clear his throat and do a quick vocal warm-up. Even just his warm-up alone was enough to get you to giggle from adoration, but you stopped the moment the young man started singing a soft lullaby as per your request. This was your first time listening to Zen sing, and while you found his voice pleasant to listen to, hearing him sing was on a completely different level. You felt slightly conflicted as a surge of new emotions filled you, but unlike from before, these emotions felt warm and welcoming instead.
"How was it?" Zen asked the moment the lullaby was over. You could hear a bit of insecurity in his voice, and you were reminded that even someone as handsome and musically talented as Zen held uncertainties about themselves, just like you. That small reminder brought you a small comfort.
"Beautiful," you breathed out. "If I had the money, I would totally hire you to just personally sing for me whenever and wherever."
"I don't need the money," Zen answered, not skipping a beat. "If it's for you, I'll sing at any time, so don't be afraid to call and ask. You can always call me for anything at any time. Alright?"
"Okay. I will." You were absolutely touched and overwhelmed at Zen's kindness and consideration. You wondered just what on earth you did in your past life to have been given the chance to meet such a beautiful person, both inside and out. "...Thank you."
Zen hummed in contentment at your response, "Anytime. Try to get some sleep now, okay? You need to sleep properly if you want to be healthy."
You laughed at how motherly he sounded, "I will. You should sleep too. I hope you have pleasant dreams."
"Only if you're in them." You could practically hear him wink, and you had to suppress an inelegant snort.
"Zen, please, are you trying to make me fall asleep or keep me awake?"
"Oops, you caught me red-handed." You heard some shuffling noises amidst his laughter and a few creaks from what you assumed to be Zen's bed come from his side of the call. He was probably getting ready to sleep too. "A part of me wants you to get a proper good night's rest, but at the same time, a part of me wants to continue listening to your voice..."
"I feel the same way," you shamelessly confessed, prompting the actor to let out another small laugh at your honesty. "...Good night, lovely Zen. I really do mean it when I call you lovely."
"You're so precious..." Zen breathed out. The actor was thankful you weren't able to see how red his face had gotten, but he was fairly certain you could hear how fast his heart was beating. "Good night, lovely lady. I'll be waiting for you in my dreams." Even though he said that, the actor kept his phone pressed against his ear. There was a long pause before Zen tentatively asked, "you still there?"
"...Yeah," you admitted bashfully, "I'm waiting for you to hang up first."
Zen chuckled, "As much as I'd love to do the whole 'no you hang up first' thing, you really should get some sleep, so I'll hang up first. Good night. For real this time."
With that, the young man reluctantly ended the call. Once you heard the call disconnect, you heaved a tired sigh, haphazardly dropping your phone on the bed. You decided to wash your face before going to sleep, opting to play the previous call from the call log to lull you into a deep and uninterrupted slumber.