Work Text:
“Ugh, damn. I forgot my phone.”
You stood at the edge of your porch and glanced back at the front door. If you took the time to head back, you would’ve been unforgivably late. Your alarm messed up this morning and you were already behind schedule, so there was no way that you would be able to get out of this one. You would…just have to get through the day without it.
After grabbing your keys from your purse and heading down the driveway, you stopped short at the grinning monster leaning up against your car.
“heya, babe.”
“Sans…” You approached him cautiously.
While the both of you had been dating for quite some time, it was always a hit-and-miss with him. He still liked to play childish pranks on you and tease you, which you didn’t mind most days, but you didn’t have time to mess around today. Not with the clock tick-tick-ticking.
“what, not happy to see me?”
“No, I’m just…surprised. What’re you doing here?”
His eyesockets crinkled. “oh my god.”
“What?”
“nothin’. you’ve just got real talent.” You had no idea why he was emphasizing it that way, but were too afraid to ask. “got ya somethin’.”
“You did…?”
Sans brought out a bouquet right in front of your eyes. You couldn’t believe it. While it wasn’t exactly the most expensive array of flowers, it contained several of your favorites. Between his cheesy grin and the slight flush to his face, it was clear that he’d gathered up a ridiculous amount of courage to hand this to you.
“Oh…jeez…Sans…” You murmured. You approached him and felt your heart stutter in your chest. He looked so vulnerable right now. “I can’t believe you did this for me.”
“why don’t you smell ‘em? nice n’ fresh.”
You picked the brightest one out of the bunch and buried your nose in it…
…only for a long stream of water to enter your nostril.
You coughed violently and stepped back, sputtering out a cry of surprise. You couldn’t BELIEVE this. Between the unattractive hacking and you trying to clear the water from inside your face, you could hear Sans wheezing with laughter.
“you fell for it. i can’t believe this.”
“What the HELL, Sans?!”
“sorry. couldn’t resist. here, hold this for me while i grab a napkin.”
You didn’t even think twice, but in retrospect, maybe you should’ve inspected his hand to make sure it didn’t contain a buzzer. Luckily, he was aware you weren’t in the mood for more pranks, so instead he placed…a giant clump of balloons in your hands.
What.
You peered at them. In the shapes of stars and hearts, your name in glittering, bold text. They were vibrant and bounced along in the wind, your vision still slightly blurry with the excess water sloughing down your chin.
“here…”
Sans made you bend down so he could drag a soft handkerchief along your face. He was surprisingly gentle and seemed to concentrate on making sure every drop was mopped up. You leaned into his touch and heard him laugh slightly, probably embarrassed at how cute you were being.
“there ya go. all clean. feel refreshed?”
“That’s…one way to put it,” you snorted. “So…what’s all this for?”
“yer birthday.”
You couldn’t believe it. When you spotted him, you had your suspicions about his intentions, especially because he showed up out of the blue. He usually did that to scare or jar you, but this seemed…genuine. Aside from the annoying prank that he pulled, this was a very clear gesture that this was intended to be romantic.
“so, uh. merry birthday. that’s…what humans say, right?”
You couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Close. I’ll give you points for effort.”
“good. need to keep up the score.”
You were so distracted with his shenanigans that you hadn’t realized how much time you just wasted. “Oh, shit! I’m going to be late for work! Sans, I’ll call you later!”
You made a move to climb in, but he shifted from his spot leaning against the passenger door and blipped in front of you. Damn him and his time and space powers. He looked more casual than ever, narrowing his eyesockets at you.
“don’t worry about work, babe. we’ve got somewhere else to be.”
“You…”
He stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked on the balls of his feet. “yep. just put it some time off for ya. me n’ your boss are good friends, they were real understanding. so. we got the whole day to ourselves, and i’ve got big plans for ya.”
Sans got in the driver’s seat and adjusted it the best he could. He would never admit it, but you even had pedal extensions installed just for him when he borrowed your car to and from work. He didn’t use it often, since he much preferred public transportation, but on an off day or sometime he spent the night he would just drop you off and take your car for the day.
“welp. get on it. our adventure awaits,” he joked. “uh, mind the gifts.”
You could barely squeeze in with all the boxes piled up on top of each other, each one wrapped up in paper with your favorite things stenciled on the outside. There were big bows and ribbons, bags with colorful tissue, and all sorts of interesting smells that wafted up from them. Perfume and…candy? You wiggled your nose and did your best to settle against the chair without squishing any of them.
Sans took the quickest route on the highway. You were a little surprised. He would usually take you on the scenic route, which…honestly got tiresome the more times you went past it. But he seemed to like the comfort of having the same monuments show up during the exact same time every trip out.
“heh, lookit that.”
You lifted your gaze up to the massive skyline that stood before you. “What…?”
Before you could question him further, you watched every single billboard all the way down the side of the road come to life. Each one with your name surrounded by a heavy burst and scattering of neon lights.
“Oh my god…”
“pretty neat, huh? wonder who it’s for.”
You were speechless. It was…super dorky and romantic, two things that didn’t necessarily go together, but with Sans, anything was possible.
For the rest of the ride, the both of you played terrible car games. Sans played twenty questions with you and you could never get the object he was thinking of, but he read you every single time. You felt like he was an incarnate of that Akinator game, because it only took a few seemingly meaningless questions before he pinpointed exactly what you had on your mind.
After about half an hour, he reached over and handed something to you.
“here, put this on.”
“No way.”
“c’mon, i won’t take advantage of you blindfolded…in public.”
That didn’t make you feel any better. “Says the guy who tricked me on my own birthday!”
“hey, i do that outta love.”
“Pffft.”
As much as you didn’t want to, you did your best to tie it around your forehead, nestling the cloth over your eyes. You had no clue what Sans needed this for, but if he was this insistent, you would at least play along.
The car slowed to a stop and Sans was the first one out of the car. He went around to the side and helped you unbuckle your seatbelt, barely able to reach over you due to his small stature. But he managed to hit the button so it came undone, grabbing your hand to help you out of the car safely.
You wobbled on the concrete and tried to figure out where the curb was, but didn’t want to step too far. Sans didn’t let go of you, thankfully, leading you along the path with careful, calculated steps.
You could hear the slight screams of happiness and excitement in the distance. It was a bunch of kids. So were you at an amusement park? Probably not, since you didn’t feel the overwhelming cloud of body heat swallow you up. That and no one brushed up against or shoved you to get ahead in line.
Sans kept dragging you further and further inside. In fact, it was a little disconcerting how the atmosphere around you changed. You couldn’t feel the sun on your back any more, there was no slight bite of the wind, and it felt like you were encased between walls rather than the open road.
For a moment, he stopped. He made sure to turn you so that you were facing the right direction, steadying you after using a bit too much force to make sure you were okay. He seemed to nod to himself before releasing you.
“heh, ok. you can take it off now.”
You hooked your fingers underneath the blindfold and tore it away.
Oh.
Wow.
You weren’t sure how you managed to process all of this, because the first thing you drank in was…the color blue. Vast and mystical, a wall of water that loomed over you in all its glory. It was ephemeral, almost, watching the glittering surface reflect beyond the thin layer of glass. Bubbles popped and floated lazily along, blooming from the bottom before floating upwards in a stream that hid some of the plant and animal life.
The filters whirred and hummed, the trickling of water buzzing in your ears, and the dim glow of the lights creating a hazy and haunting blanket along your entire body. Soothing and cool, dropping your core temperature down, your lips parting and fingers twitching, begging, aching to reach forward and rest it against the scene.
Wonder wasn’t the right word for it. You were sure this was adoration.
A group of fish swam by and darted around each other, creating a rainbow while they wove together and continued their path along the tank. Bright, vibrant coral flourished while the fish settled in and around it. You could see seaweed stretch out toward the sky, the slick, slimy petals swaying with the makeshift current.
“Sans…”
“pretty cool, right?” He stood beside you, gazing at the giant tank and all of the life within it. “lots of neat stuff.”
“I…”
“look, i know this ain’t the best gift, but i figured it’d be a quiet place we could be together.” He scratched his neck in agitation. “gotta love ya ‘cuz you have lots of friends who are rootin’ for ya, but also didn’t want to share you the whole day. guess that makes me selfish.”
You didn’t care about that. Sans was allowed to want you all to himself. After countless years looking after everyone else, he deserved this.
“see those? clownfish. like in that movie we watched on our first date. think i fell asleep halfway, but when i woke up, you were cryin’ at the end.”
“Oh my god! No I didn’t!”
He chuckled under his breath and shifted his weight from one leg to another. “what’s your favorite fish? outta all of ‘em?”
You paused, scanning the entire thing. This was only one exhibit in this place, but it was easy to be enraptured with so much variety. It was interesting to see so many species live together and not worry about anything bad happening; it left you with a sense of peace.
“Hmmm…that one, over there.”
You pointed to the stonefish nestled in the sand, at the very back, nearly hidden from anything and anyone.
“what, a scavenger?”
“No. It waits for ample opportunity, is patient, and comes off as a little lazy. I think that’s my type.”
Sans chuckled. “ok. i hear wedding bells between you n’ that thing.”
“Totally. Let’s get t-shirts to celebrate its laissez-faire attitude.”
You had to admit, the thing was scary. Given the right resources, it could rear up and destroy anything stupid enough to swim by in its vicinity. You knew that it was just trying to survive in a very food-chain-centric world, but you could appreciate how much it reminded you of a certain person.
While Sans wasn’t the type of person to actively seek out others to destroy, if prodded enough, and if forced out of the shadows, he would lash out just enough to make sure it never happened again. You’d heard some of the venomous words he mentioned to a few rude and intolerant humans on the surface. He was always in some sort of disguise, putting on a happy, laidback demeanor so he wouldn’t alarm people. But that mysterious aura was only there to keep his head above water and nothing else.
The two of you headed down the path together. It was quiet. No one else was around, it being the middle of the weekday. The kids you heard earlier must have been on a field trip, but their presence faded with every step you took forward.
Sans was discreet in making sure your hand found his. He normally wasn’t the type to pursue affection, but when it came to you, a lot of things about him had changed. For the better, you thought.
You curled your fingers along his and exhaled. It was…nice. To be this close to someone, feeling safe and secure in such a mysterious and near overpowering room. These were creatures who survived in harsh conditions despite everything thrown at them, who could coexist despite being so different from one another.
“so big.”
Sans paused for a moment, his eyesockets alight with…something you couldn’t quite place.
You stared along at the glass. How it reached up toward the ceiling and stretched far beyond what you thought was possible. The lights behind you were dim, so the full illumination of the tank was ripe for you to appreciate for as long as you wanted.
Right on cue, a whale shark swam across your vision. It seemed to soar amongst the other fish, gliding through the water, beady eyes scanning the perimeter before seeming to lock with yours. It kept going, far beyond what you could see, before disappearing along the back, hidden and distorted amongst the deep ocean blue.
You sucked in a breath and found that Sans crept even closer to you. His browbones furrowed, as if he was debating sharing something with you.
“Sans? You’re okay with this?”
“yep. was my idea.”
You weren’t sure how to phrase this. “It…doesn’t bother you, does it? All of these fish…trapped here?”
He flinched a little bit at your words, but you could see it was more out of surprise than offense. “heh. nah. i like it, actually. shows they’re resilient.”
“You don’t think it’s cruel?”
Sans closed his eyes for a moment. “took you here because a lot of these are recuperating animals. so one day they’ll have a chance to leave. in the meantime, it’s educational for a bunch of kids and adults alike. entertaining. shows you a glimpse of how everythin’…works, despite all of the other shit going on.”
You could understand that. “Okay. Let’s keep going.”
Sans followed you as you kept your steps light and pace steady.
“whaddid you want for your birthday?”
“Me?”
“no, that little starfish over there.”
You glanced at him and cracked up. “Well…to be honest with you, I didn’t expect much. Definitely not my ridiculously cute boyfriend taking me on a day trip to the aquarium. I mean, I would’ve just been okay with playing hooky from work, so this is amazing. I have to ask, though, how did you get those electronic billboards to play messages for me?”
He grinned. “alphys said she was rootin’ for us.”
“I should’ve known.”
At the midway point of the hall, you spotted something odd. Bright and red against the rest of the cool colors surrounding you.
“What is that?”
You broke away from Sans, heart pounding, while you approached the figure pressed up against the glass.
It was…
Papyrus?!
He waved at you beyond his swimming goggles and oxygen tank. Did monsters even need that to breathe…? Especially skeleton monsters. Maybe he was just suited up because he wanted to be safe rather than sorry, which would explain why he was also dressed up in a wetsuit that had his initials printed on the front in big, bold letters.
“What is he doing in there?!”
“oh man, this is another surprise.”
“What?!”
Papyrus…started doing magic.
Underwater.
You couldn’t believe this.
How the cards managed to stay dry, you would never know. But he did a few card tricks, surprising you on at least ten thousand levels while he picked the exact one you drew. He created some illusions – including looking like he’d literally fallen apart somehow – and managed to bring you to tears from laughing so hard.
God.
Not only that, but he gestured you to wait a minute. Before he darted behind a few rocky pillars, only to return with a bunch of fish that looked like they were swimming in a conga line. He eventually presented them to you, and all of them spelled out the words, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY”.
How did he even train them to do that?!
“i gave ‘em a stern talkin’ to. what can i say?” Sans grinned and put his finger on the glass as one of the fish swam up and nudged the reflection of it with its nose.
This was so ridiculous. And so wonderful.
Papyrus swam away after waving to you, and you were happy to see him leave without any other major showy moves.
“Do I even want to know, Sans?”
He smirked. “prob’ly not.”
Toward the end of the tour, there was a small rest area to recharge before “diving” back in, or so Sans put it. You were glad to take a seat on the bench near a small waterfall fixture. Sans settled next to you and reached for your hand, still refusing to let it go.
“hey, can i give ya another gift?”
“Go for it.” You were expecting something weird, but watched him angle his body toward you.
“c’mere then.”
He put both hands on either side of your face and pulled you in for a kiss. You weren’t expecting him to be this bold, but…you weren’t complaining. Between the softness of it and the intent clear in every move of his mouth, you melted against him. His body was warm. His mouth was just right on yours, pressing along places you didn’t think would send a spike of arousal down your spine. You felt your tense muscles go lax when he cracked open an eye to look at you, the two of you meeting eyes before he laughed into you.
It was a little clumsy, but super sweet.
Kind of like his love for you.
You fisted his jacket and made sure to hold him there. Not willing to let go just yet. With the peaceful echoes of the water thundering down behind you, the ambience of the giant tank filled to the brim with exotic life, and the lightheartedness that exuded from Sans’ SOUL, it was clear that this was one of the best presents you could’ve gotten.
You parted just enough for your lips to rest on his mouth. Wanting to form his name and whisper it along his bones, breath fanning his face so it would bring a dusty blush to his cheekbones. Now that would make your life complete.
He stared at you with his pupils in hearts, growing bigger and smaller with every beat your heart skipped. He reached up and stroked your face with the back of his hand, using his index and middle finger to pinch your cheeks just slightly.
“Ah! Don’t, that hurts!” you cried, letting him break into a series of husky chuckles.
“ok, ok. sorry.”
“No you’re not.”
“yeah, yer right. like it when your face gets flushed.” Despite the smooth talk, he was the one stuttering, stammering and fumbling on his words. “got another gift for ya, if you’re up to it.”
You nodded and went back for another sweet kiss, this time planting one after another on every inch of his face you could reach.
Sans seemed like he was in a daze by the time you resumed the tour. He kept sneaking glances at you. Watching you more than the actual marine life. It was good to know that he was so enraptured with you after all this time.
At the end of the tanks was a small petting zoo. Just with a few harmless things that were probably traumatized from being handled by noisy and rough children. You and Sans preferred to walk around for the most part, until he grabbed something out of the tank and aimed it at you.
You paled.
Took one look at it.
“Get. It. Away from me.”
“or what?” He crept closer, the grin on his face widening.
You were going to pass out. That was a sea cucumber. Completely harmless. Completely peaceful. But if it felt threatened, it would shoot out a string of disgusting, sticky threads that consisted of its own innards. And you wouldn’t be able to wash it off with plain water, either.
“Doooooon’t!!!” you cried, about to make a run for it.
You had turned your back to him when you felt something shoot out and hit you in the back.
And you screamed.
It wasn’t loud, but enough that Sans burst out laughing. When you turned around, the sea cucumber was nowhere in sight. But he did have a can of silly string.
“Sans, I was going to kill you if you made it squirt on me!”
“oh my god, your face! i—heh heh heh—can’t!”
You splashed some water on him from the exhibit and he spluttered, face turning red while you chuckled and took off running through the halls.
It didn’t take long before he managed to end up in front of you, cutting you off completely. Standing in front of you with a lascivious wink. You turned around to head the other way, but he was somehow there too. Crooking his finger at you and just begging you to move close enough so he could exact his revenge.
You finally dropped the act and went to him. Bending down and kissing him again, but not before grabbing the can out of his pocket and completely dousing him in it. You held your finger down on the nozzle and covered his entire front with it, the sticky substance looping around his neck and getting all over his jacket.
“oh my god, babe.”
“W-what?!” You aimed it at him threateningly.
“didn’t know you had it in you…this is great…i'm rubbing off on ya!”
You snorted and grabbed his hand, the both of you heading toward the exit.
The gift shop was right outside of the exit. No one said a word about your disheveled appearances or Sans being covered in silly string; no one seemed to care, either.
“We should get something for everyone.”
“ok. grab somethin’ and meet me in the food court.”
You didn’t think twice about it until you had your arms full of gifts. You were walking toward the table that Sans sat at when you saw Papyrus come out of the kitchen holding a giant cake in his arms. Complete with candles and tubs of ice cream balanced on his head.
“THERE YOU ARE! I WAS WONDERING WHERE YOU’D RUN OFF TO.”
You glanced around at the people filing in. All your monster friends. Not just the small group you’d befriended on the surface, but friends of friends and even some extended family. You watched them head over to a long table and drop off gifts, the colorfully wrapped boxes stacked on each other as they seemed to…unload it from your car? So that was why there were so many of them in the backseat! You thought that maybe Sans was just being overzealous with his affection!
You watched as the TV in the restaurant area flickered to life. It was Mettaton. Singing you a personalized birthday song.
Monsters gathered around and stuffed their faces full of cake and ice cream. You handed out the gifts and were thankful there were enough small trinkets for everyone to participate, especially the kids.
Amid the chaos, Sans saved a seat for you. Right by his side.
You plopped down and stared across the place. It was packed full of people, everyone animatedly talking about how special today was.
“You could’ve said something about a party. Then I wouldn’t have sprayed you.”
“it’s ok.” He brushed some of it off and grinned at you. “besides, i deserved it.”
“For what? Taking me on a date and then sealing it with the most adorable party ever?”
“heh. yeah.” He reached down below the table and took your hand. “you knew it was comin’, though.”
“I had a feeling.”
“cuz we’re in sync.”
As he rubbed his thumb over your knuckles, and Papyrus plopped down a hearty piece of cake for you smothered in icing and whipped cream, you couldn’t agree more.