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“My parents are coming to LA.”
The disbelief and hurt in Buck’s voice had Eddie’s mind whirling. Buck talked very little about his sperm donors; Eddie refused to address them as Buck’s parents, that honour went to Bobby and Athena.
“Athena would be happy to toss them in jail, just say the word, and she and I will come up with a plan.” Not that Athena would need his help, but Eddie would love a chance to be able to toss the people who hurt Buck so deeply in jail. That earned a twitch of a smile from Buck.
“Maddie invited them; she wants her daughter to have a family, one that can get along around her.” Buck knew that Maddie had a very different relationship with their parents; they never once let Maddie doubt that they loved her. Even when it looked like they had given up on her. “She says they aren’t bad people, just bad parents.”
Crossing the distance between them, Eddie wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. “We both know that isn’t true. Shannon wasn’t ready to be a mother or wife, but she owned up to that, she took the time to get therapy and now look at her, she is in Christopher’s life as the mom he deserves. Hell, when the two of you were caught in the tsunami, the moment she learned she was back here helping out Christopher and you. If they were good people, they wouldn’t have treated you the way they did. They only talked to you once the entire time you were recovering from the bombing; they couldn’t come see you. If they were good people, they would have tried.”
A choke sound escaped Buck, “They were different with Maddie when we were younger, but they turned their back on her when she married Doug and didn’t notice that he was abusing her. I don’t understand why they can’t love me. Am I that horrible of a person that my own parents couldn’t love me?”
Tilting Buck’s head up, Eddie looked him in the eyes, “You listen to me, Evan Buckley. Those people are not your parents. They are your sperm donors and nothing more than that. Your real parents are Bobby Nash and Athena Grant-Nash; those two love you deeply. You have Maddie, who loves you and who raised you. You have a big sister in Hen, a little sister in May and a little brother in Harry. Chimney is your brother; he was before he started dating Maddie, and that hasn’t changed. You are Denny’s favourite uncle. Christopher adores the ground you walk on; you are his third parent. Then there is me, you are my sun, the very air I breathe. I know what it is like to have parents who don’t seem to love you. The ones who you still long for them to admit that they love you, but you are not unlovable, and if they can’t see that, well, that is their loss.”
Pressing his forehead against Eddie’s Buck heart filled with the love he had for his man. “I love you, Eddie, so much.”
“I love you too, Buck, and since our son is spending the night at the Wilsons, there is no need for you to keep quiet as I show you just how much.” Eddie flashed Buck a sexy smirk as he pulled them towards their bedroom.
No one could read Eddie better than Buck, so he knew that Eddie was already in protective mode the moment they arrived at Maddie and Chimney’s.
“The moment it gets too much, we are leaving,” Eddie informed Buck. He had Bobby and Athena on standby when things went horrible and given what he had heard about the Buckleys’ treatment of Buck, it would go bad Eddie would take Buck to see his real parents.
“I love you.” Buck pressed a gentle kiss against Eddie’s lips.
“I love you too, now let’s see who is worse, your parents or mine.”
It only took one knock before the door was flung open by Chinmey, “Great, you bought the drinks.” That was the only greeting he offered them before disappearing into the apartment.
Albert, who had followed his brother, shrugged, “He has been like that since I got here. Come on in.”
Linking hands with Buck Eddie allowed Buck to lead him into the apartment.
There was no denying the tension in the air. Buck promised to support Maddie and try, but he couldn’t hide the fact that he was hurt that Maddie had hidden the fact that their parents were coming until they were a day away from LA.
Buck kept himself busy until there was no missing the doorbell ringing. He knew he was shaking as he removed his apron. Eddie’s hands landed on his, and he lifted his head to meet Eddie’s calming gaze. “The moment it gets too much, we are leaving,” Eddie reminded him.
“Okay.” Buck knew that he would be worse if he didn’t have Eddie at his side.
Eddie already had low opinions of the Buckleys; they were somehow worse than he thought they could be. The way they treated Buck and Maddie was awful; there was no missing the way the siblings both lightly flinched at each dig their parents gave them, or how the light was slowly fading in Buck’s eyes. He was about ready to call it a night.
“Maddie tells us you are in therapy.” Margaret causally dropped the bomb.
Buck flinched as he looked at his sister, hurt clear on his face. The only ones who knew that he was in therapy were she and Eddie, and it tore him apart that Maddie would tell their parents. He had told her that in confidence, and she had told the last two people he wanted to know. “Did she?”
Maddie saw the betrayal in Buck’s eyes. She knew the moment she had let it slip to their parents that Buck was in therapy, she had made a huge mistake; she had no right to tell their parents something like that. She was just so desperate to make sure her little girl grew up with a family that loved one another and got along. She wanted them to be the family that they hadn’t been since Daniel.
Daniel, the thought of him sent a pain ripping through her heart. The brother that Buck still didn’t know about, who had loved him so deeply. She wanted Buck to know the parents that she did, the ones who had disappeared into their grief when they lost their first son. She wanted that family back, and she thought that her little girl might be the way to fit what had been broken for so long.
“Evan…I…” Maddie couldn’t explain her actions to Buck without talking about Daniel. The brother whom their parents had erased from their lives. No apology would be enough, and from the look in Eddie’s eyes, even if Buck forgave her, he wouldn’t.
Chimney and Albert did their best to get the conversation onto a safer track. Eddie was glaring at Margaret and Philip as if hoping he could set them on fire with his eyes.
Things didn’t get any better; instead, they only got worse.
Eddie knew that Buck was close to breaking. He wanted to get him out of there, but the Buckleys just kept pushing and making things worse. It finally came to a head after dinner.
“You wanna talk about our jobs? Think my job is dangerous? I have walked through fire every single day of my life because of you. That is why I am in therapy. Because nothing I ever did was good enough.”
“We tried, but you never made it easy on us either.” Margaret was in tears, Eddie wasn’t moved one bit, “I don’t know what you expected us to do.”
“Love me anyway.”
The raw truth that lingered in the air and the pain radiating from Buck had everyone flinching.
“Evan.” Maddie started, but didn’t know what to say. Her fingers itched to reach out and touch her brother, to hold him, but she was frozen in place. Her legs wouldn’t move. She could only watch helplessly as Eddie wrapped a protective arm around Buck and led him out of their apartment.
“I think you should go.” Chimney was polite as he told Philiph and Margaret to leave, though it was muffled to Maddie. It was like she was underwater; she vaguely remembers saying goodbye to them.
“Maddie, it’s okay, they are gone.” Chimney’s voice was soft and grounding as he pulled her out of her spiralling thoughts.
“I shouldn’t have invited them.” Maddie choked out. “I pushed too hard. Buck only agreed to come because he promised me. I should have told him sooner. I want our little girl to grow up with grandparents and around people who love her, but that shouldn’t come at a risk to Buck’s mental health.”
“Maddie,” Chimney trailed off. He didn’t know what to say. He knew bad parents; his dad was horrible, but he had his mom, and he had the Lees, so he had parents who loved him. That was something Buck didn’t have. “I understand what you are doing; you want our little girl to have grandparents who love her. I think you were also hoping that maybe, just maybe, you could see if your parents had changed and would love you and Buck as you both deserve.”
A choked sob escaped Maddie, “I thought maybe they had changed. That they could love us, that they could go back to being the parents I knew when Daniel was still alive.”
Chimney reared back, “Maddie, who is Daniel?”
Lifting her head, Maddie met Chimney’s eyes, “Daniel is mine and Buck’s brother.”
Dread-filled Chimney, in the entire time he had known Buck and Maddie, never had he heard of Daniel until now. “Maddie, where is Daniel?”
“He is dead. He died one year after Buck had been born, and Buck knows nothing about him.”
Things had just gotten a hundred times worse. Closing his eyes, Chimney felt his heartbreak for both Maddie and Buck. “I’m here for you, Maddie. You can lean on me. Let me help carry some of this weight you are under.”
That was all it took for Maddie to break down into sobs.
Once again, Eddie was thankful that Hen had offered to take Christopher for the evening. It allowed Eddie to take Buck to people who would remind him that he was loved.
And talk him out of killing the Buckleys, though Athena might beat him to it.
Buck leaned on Eddie as he led him to the Grant-Nash door. He was drained and empty; he barely acknowledged Eddie ringing the doorbell. He was lost in a daze until he found himself wrapped in a familiar embrace, and he sank into Bobby’s arms.
Athena watched as Bobby and Eddie led Buck into the house. From the moment Bobby had come home ranting about Buck’s parents finally coming to visit, he had been the one to call them after the bombing, trying to see if they needed help in arranging their visit, only for them to say they weren’t coming was something he would never forgive them for. Not that she was any better, she would and has been by her children’s side every time they were sick, and that hadn’t been just anything; they could have lost Buck that horrible night, and his parents couldn’t even talk to him on the phone. “How bad was it?” She asked Eddie, taking in the sight of him, who was in full protective mode.
A sigh escaped Eddie as he ran a hand through his hair, looking towards the couch to where Buck was sitting with Bobby, before turning his gaze back to Athena. “It was bad, I had never seen Buck like that. He tried, but his parents just kept tearing him down. It didn’t help that apparently Maddie told them something he had told her in confidence. He asked them to just love him anyway.”
Athena’s heart broke for Buck. “He doesn’t need them; he has us. And if they give him any more trouble, I will gladly escort them out of LA and make sure they never set foot in it again.”
“Can I help?” Eddie knows he sounded too gleeful at the idea, but he really wanted the Buckleys out of LA and far from his family.
“We will see.”
Bobby had given Buck the day off, and he encouraged him to spend the day with Christopher. Sadly, he couldn’t find a replacement for Eddie. He was starting to think he hadn’t tried hard enough as Eddie glared at Chimney, clearly trying to set him on fire.
“What did you do?” Hen asked, looking at her best friend, who seemed to be trying to hide behind her.
“It wasn’t me, it was one set of my daughter’s grandparents. I thought my dad was bad; he has nothing on the Buckleys.” Chimney explained. “I need to talk to Eddie, I just don’t know if he will try to kill me the moment I open my mouth.”
A sigh escaped Hen; Eddie had filled her in on what had happened when he and Buck had come by. “I can understand Buck’s anger. If anyone had treated Karen the way Buck has been treated by the people who were supposed to love him, I would be pissed. You love Maddie and want to protect her; the same is true for Eddie. Buck is hurting right now, and we both know how Eddie gets when Buck is hurt.”
Chimney let out a sigh. He knows Hen is right, but Maddie is hurting. Now that he knows about Daniel, it is a powder keg waiting to go off, and he wasn’t sure how long he would be able to keep this secret under wraps, but Maddie had needed him, and he would always be there for her. “We all hate seeing our partners hurt. If Eddie tries to kill me, tell Maddie I love her.”
Hen watched as Chimney crossed the room towards Eddie, “Your funeral.” Moving towards the kitchen, she decided to help Bobby out in the kitchen.
“Eddie, can we talk? Hopefully one that doesn’t end with me dead.” Chimney asked as he dared to look at the glaring man.
“Athena won’t let me get arrested. She is fully on my side.” Eddie informed him. “But I guess we'd better.”
“I know things got heated last night, and Maddie truly regrets telling her parents Buck’s secret. The truth of it is, I think Maddie needed therapy after what she has gone through with Doug, but she was taught by her parents that therapy is for the weak, and it is better to just bury your feelings and forget the pain and grief you have suffered.”
That hit Eddie hard; that was the same thing he had been taught by his parents. Therapy was forbidden in their minds. Buck taking that step had encouraged Eddie to look for one that worked with vets. He hated to admit it was helping him. “It’s not me that needs to hear this.”
“I know, and Maddie knows. We were hoping to meet again, without a certain set of parents being involved.” Chimney could only hope that Eddie would agree.
Running a hand over his face, Eddie knows how much Buck loves Maddie, and he would eventually give in and forgive her, but this was different. “Maddie really hurt him, but I know that Buck hates being mad and upset with her. I’ll talk to him, and if he agrees, we will be over once the shift is over. But you and Maddie need to make sure that her parents aren’t there. Buck can’t handle seeing them again.”
It was telling the way Eddie referred them to Maddie’s parents only, and Chimney couldn’t blame him. “We will. Thank you, Eddie.”
“Don’t thank me, just make sure that you don’t hurt Buck again.” There was no missing the warning in Eddie’s voice.
Buck was nervous; he had nearly backed out and told Eddie to take him home several times, but in the end, they got to Maddie and Chimney’s. Shannon had been thrilled to have Christopher over for the night. The door opened before they could knock, and Maddie was standing there, her eyes red from crying so much.
“Evan.” Maddie started.
“I think this would be better behind closed doors and not where everyone can hear us,” Eddie suggested.
“Of course, come on in.” Backing back into the apartment, she waited for Buck and Eddie to enter. Once the door closed, she turned to Buck, “I am so sorry, Evan. I had no right to tell mom and dad that you are in therapy.”
“Why did you?” Buck had to know.
Maddie moved towards the couch, ushering Buck and Eddie with her, where Chimney was already sitting. Once they were all seated, Maddie let out a deep breath. “Our parents, they hide their grief, I mean, the only therapy they have attended was about my marriage to Doug and how that affected them. They needed therapy long before that. I watched them bury their emotions, their grief behind masks. They…” Here Maddie trailed off, and Chimney wrapped a comforting arm around her. “There is something you need to know, something that our parents buried, hid, and made me hide all your life.”
Reaching out, Buck took Eddie’s hand in his, squeezing tightly, “What is it, Maddie?” He knew that whatever she told him, his relationship with the Buckleys would be forever changed.
“We had a bother, his name was Daniel.” Daniel had been something that haunted her for years. She had grown up for years keeping the fact that they had an older brother hidden from Buck; the longer she had kept the secret, the harder it became to tell Buck about him, but now it was time.
For a moment, Buck couldn’t breath yet he managed to ask, “What happened to him? And why is this the first time I have ever heard about him?”
“He had juvenile leukemia; he needed a bone marrow, but none of us were a match, except for you.” Licking her lips, Maddie struggled with telling Buck why he was born. “He was everything to them, and they would do everything they could to save him.”
It hit Buck hard, “They had me, and I failed in saving the son they wanted.”
“No!” Maddie shouted, “You didn’t fail!”
“I did, Maddie! In their eyes, I did.”
“It doesn’t matter what they think! They were wrong, Evan. They erased everything about him, and they moved us to a new town because they couldn’t handle the memories. People talked about them, and they were judged because they dared to put a baby through a bone marrow transplant. They buried their grief and the part of them that should be parents died with Daniel. They made me promise never to speak about Daniel again. I managed to save a few photos of him, but they destroyed or gave away everything tied to him.” Maddie devolved into sobs.
Buck was shattered; he was a saviour baby born to save the son that his parents wanted, and he failed. His parents could never love him. Looking over at Maddie, his heart ached. She had been a child and forced to watch as her parents erased every trace of her brother and forbidden to talk about him again. Their parents had failed them both in different ways. “I’m so sorry, Maddie. They should have never done that to you, made you keep that kind of secret. You should have been allowed to mourn and celebrate the life of your brother. Your daughter deserves to know all about her Uncle Daniel and see photos of him; they robbed you of being able to keep his memory alive. But I can’t have them in my life. One dinner with them and I was back to that little boy crying for his parents to love him, and now I know why they can’t. Time hasn’t changed them, Maddie. You see me for me, but they only see me as the baby who failed to save their Daniel. I know you want your daughter to grow up surrounded by a family who loves her, and she will, but I can’t, no, I won’t have them as a part of my life. I will be polite when around them, but they have never been my parents. I found them in Bobby and Athena.”
Pulling herself out of Chimney’s arms, Maddie crossed the distance between them, sitting on the other side of Buck, she took his hands in hers. “I will not force you to let them be a part of your life. I asked them to leave this morning. We all lost Daniel, but they forgot they still had two children who needed them, who needed to know they were loved by them. It was as if any love they could have for a child died when Daniel did. I told them that if they couldn’t accept that how they treated us was wrong and that they seek the help they need to deal with their grief, I didn’t want them around my daughter. I also informed them that I was telling you all about Daniel. Mom lashed out, and Dad defended her. Mom acts like she was the only one who lost Daniel, and her pain and grief were the only ones that mattered. I don’t know if they will leave, but I am done defending them or staying silent about how they treated you. I just wanted to protect you in ways that I couldn’t protect Daniel.”
As Maddie broke down into sobs, Buck pulled her into his arms, rocking her back and forth, “You did, Maddie, you always did, and I might not know him, but I know Daniel wouldn’t want you to blame yourself for not being able to protect him from his illness. We both couldn’t ask for a better sister.”
“We good?” Chimney asked, looking over at Eddie.
“We’re good, this time. It’s Athena and Bobby you need to watch out for.” Eddie teased with a grin that grew as Chimney paled.
Jee-Yun Han would never doubt that she was loved. Maddie made sure to tell her stories about her uncles, Daniel and Kevin.
Daniel Kevin Han would learn to know about the uncles he was named in honour of. Both have the love of grandparents in the form of Kevin and Annie Lee, a title they both wore with pride.
Lillian Barbara Diaz and Theo Anthony Diaz had the best grandparents they could ask for in Bobby and Athena. Isabel doted on her great-grandchildren.
Philip and Margaret cut all ties with their children after a blow-up at Jee’s first birthday party, the first time they had seen their children in person, where Margaret screamed at Buck that she wished he had died and not her beloved Daniel. They lost everything that day, and Athena had taken great pleasure in escorting them out of LA. They knew they had four grandchildren, but they would never get to meet or know them.