Work Text:
Kaveh wishes he had pursued a different career.
He doesn’t mean that. Not really.
He loved being an architect. Getting to be artistic, to be able to create without limits. To be passionate.
But, Archons, if he didn’t feel like he was being stabbed. He was stubborn. When he got an idea, he worked and worked and overworked until his vision was fulfilled and perfect. Always perfect. He wouldn’t accept anything less. Everyone knew that, no matter how hard Alhaitham and Tighnari tried to get him to take breaks, he always protested. The pain was just part of the creative process, as he liked to say. It just sucked when the pain happened to linger after the creation mentioned was done.
Today, Kaveh had a particularly bad flare up as soon as he awoke. Lucky him. He knew he should take a rest day, do the simple stretches that Tighnari had shown him to do when he could barely move his hands, but Kaveh had a commission due in two days. He didn’t have that kind of time to just waste by taking care of himself. He had slipped on his compression gloves and called it a day. That was the best self-care they were getting from him.
By evening, Kaveh wanted to chop his own hands off with his claymore. He tried to act like the excruciating pain wasn’t bothering him, but every other stroke of his pencil had him letting out soft whimpers and hisses of pain. He was curled up on one side of the divan, trying to stay as quiet as he could so as not to bother the reading man on the other side of the divan. Even though he was the one in pain, he didn’t want to inconvenience Alhaitham. Especially since he knew he’d get a scolding if the other found out he was working in this much pain. The compression gloves didn’t do enough to help and they both knew that.
After a particularly loud gasp of pain, Alhaitham looked up. Kaveh buried his face in his sketch book. If he didn’t look at the other, maybe they could just pretend nothing happened. Maybe he could convince the other that he was just hearing things.
“Kaveh.”
Kaveh doesn’t look up.
Alhaitham’s brows furrow, his eyes narrowing. He makes a mental note of what page he had left off on, before shutting the book and placing it on the coffee table to his right. Before Kaveh realizes what the taller is doing, his sketch book is snatched out of his hands and placed next to Alhaitham’s book.
“Hands.”
Kaveh complies, placing his hands in Alhaitham’s hands. His junior is gentle as he slips off the gloves on each hand, frowning at how swollen they were. They were red, and based on Kaveh’s expression and hisses of pain, he could feel them throbbing. Alhaitham sighs, gently rubbing his thumbs over the knuckles. It’s a sweet gesture, but he’s really just trying to find out where the pain ends and the relief begins.
“How long has it been acting up?”
Kaveh mumbles a response, sheepish.
“Kaveh, I can’t hear you when you mumble.”
“.. this morning.”
Alhaitham struggles to continue the conversation without frustration creeping into his voice. It’s not entirely Kaveh’s fault he has arthritis this early on in his life, but it is his fault that it’s not more manageable.
“Did you do your stretches? Did you put ice on it when it felt warm? Have you taken your antibiotics?”
Kaveh shakes his head, looking anywhere but Alhaitham’s eyes. Alhaitham lets out a rather irritated huff, but Kaveh knows it’s not directed at him. Well, it is, but it’s not aggressive.
“Can you move them at all? Let me see where they stop bending.”
As Alhaitham is shown, he knows this one is particularly bad. After another few rounds of questions– ones that make him sound like Tighnari– he lets Kaveh’s hands fall back to his sides for now. He brings him his prescribed antibiotics, watching him actually take them, before beginning to run the kitchen sink. It’ll take a bit to get warm. He looks to Kaveh.
He looks like he’s in so much pain. Alhaitham can’t force him to do anything, but he really wishes the other would take better care of himself. As irritating as Kaveh was, he didn’t deserve to be in constant pain. He had such gentle hands, why must they hurt? Was that the price he had to pay?
Alhaitham shakes his head. He shouldn’t be getting sad like this. Kaveh reassures him he’s fine, so he has to believe him.
“I won’t make you do your stretches, it’s too late for that, but come here. Tighnari said to do this when you get too stubborn.”
Kaveh scoffs but otherwise obeys. He walks over to Alhaitham, feeling his hands throb. He tries to blink the tears out of his eyes. He’s not sure what emotion he’s crying from right now. Maybe it’s the thought of Alhaitham being this gentle. He sniffles, standing next to Alhaitham. He doesn’t speak and neither does the taller man. He grabs Kaveh’s hands gently. It elicits a soft hiss, but Alhaitham knows it’s not entirely his fault.
Alhaitham rolls Kaveh’s sleeves up so they don’t get wet, but he can see the way Kaveh gets antsy. No matter how many times Alhaitham says he shouldn’t be ashamed of his scars, he always seemed to be. He never made a big deal out of them unless Kaveh wanted it.
They don’t define you or your worth. You’re so strong. You’re so brave. They’re beautiful, Kaveh. You’re beautiful.
A handful of things he had told the blonde, all of them true. Things he had been telling him for years. Kaveh had some scars during their Akademiya days. Some more appeared as they grew distant. Alhaitham realizes there were a lot more when they reconnected and Kaveh wore short sleeves for the first time. Kaveh was so beautiful to Alhaitham. Even if he wasn’t the artist out of the two of them, he’s positive he could draw every single one of Kaveh’s features from memory. Not that he would be doing him the justice he deserved. He was the embodiment of the sun– from his golden hair to his glowing eyes– Alhaitham was oh so thankful that he wasn’t as blinding to look at as the giant star for how often he stared.
Alhaitham thinks he wouldn’t mind going blind as long as Kaveh was the last thing he ever saw.
Alhaitham presses Kaveh’s left hand to his mouth, eliciting a gasp from the other. He works his kisses all the way up Kaveh’s arm. While he knows he can’t kiss every scar the blonde has, he sure as hell tries.
He makes his way to the other’s right arm now, starting at the hand again. He kisses over his sore, aching palms first, then his fingers, then his wrist, all the way up to where his forearm meets his elbow. He murmurs gentle reassurances the whole time.
“I can’t fix all your problems, be it mental or physical, but I will always be here, whether you feel brave enough to ask for my help or not.”
Kaveh can’t bring himself to answer at first. He’s too embarrassed to even open his mouth, knowing a sob would just come out instead of any actual coherent words. He pulls his arms back, and before Alhaitham can panic that he did something wrong, Kaveh’s arms are wrapped around him.
He knows he’s getting Alhaitham’s shirt soaked with tears, his face being buried in the other’s chest, but neither of them care. Kaveh is in pain and Alhaitham is caring for him even after he deliberately tried to avoid help. He’s loved.
Kaveh cries into Alhaitham’s chest for a bit, knowing that when he feels better he’ll absolutely get teased, but he really doesn’t mind at the moment.
Once he manages to calm down, he wipes his eyes and lets out a wet laugh.
“Thank you. Really, I’m- I’m sorry for being difficult. I know it’s my fault, I’m not taking care of myself, it’s just.. hard. I’ll try harder.”
Alhaitham holds the other’s hands in his own. Even they remind him of the sun, warm as always.
“Don’t worry about any of that right now, Habibi. However, we are wasting water, so let me do this.”
Alhaitham checks that the temperature is warm like a compress, but not hot enough to burn Kaveh’s already aching hands. Once he clears it, he brings the other’s hands under the water. He spends the next few moments acclimating them both to the slightly warm temperature before beginning to massage Kaveh’s hands. He starts with the other’s palms, tracing gentle circles with his thumbs. He manages to stretch this part out, knowing it’ll feel good since this part of the blonde’s hands hurt the least. When he’s done, he begins kneading the entire hand. It elicits a few whimpers from Kaveh, but Alhaitham has to do this. It was the best way to ease the pain in the long run without pushing Kaveh to do anything too straining on his body.
One by one, Alhaitham gives an appropriate amount of attention to each of Kaveh’s calloused fingers. They tell so many stories. They’ve drawn and helped to create so many buildings, including The Palace of Alcazarzaray. They’ve pet every stray cat they’ve come across. They’ve traced over every contour, over every inch of Alhaitham’s body. Alhaitham feels sympathetic when he can hear multiple joints from Kaveh’s wrist to his fingers start to click and pop as they’re maneuvered. He can’t imagine having to deal with this every day for the rest of his life.
After a few more minutes of this, Kaveh can’t take it anymore. It’s a sweet gesture and he knows it’ll help in the long run, but he can’t take it anymore.
“Haitham.. It hurts now.”
Alhaitham wastes no time before removing their intertwined hands from the water so as not to overexert the other. He gives Kaveh’s hands one last kiss each before placing them on a towel. He turns off the sink.
“Do you need help drying them?”
Kaveh shakes his head. Drying his hands might be the easiest thing he’s done all day.
“Can you help me shower, please? I can’t wash myself like this.”
· · ─ ·ʚɞ· ─ · ·
They had ordered take out since neither of them felt like cooking, and after a much needed shower and a very difficult process of Alhaitham trying to dry and style Kaveh’s hair (he failed, Kaveh decided to just put it in a low ponytail after it dried), they laid comfortably in Alhaitham’s bed. Kaveh’s bed remained forgotten in his room unless they were having a particularly bad fight or if Alhaitham needed to be alone for a bit after being overstimulated. Alhaitham made sure the blond slept in his compression gloves, hopefully preventing a morning flare up again. He truly hoped that it wasn’t a week long flare up again. Last time that had happened, Kaveh almost needed surgery. He wasn’t too keen on that idea.
Kaveh shoves his face into Alhaitham’s chest, earning a chuckle from him. One arm wraps around Kaveh’s waist, the younger’s hand resting on the small of his back, while the other begins to run through the blonde's hair. Both of them have tomorrow off due to Tighnari’s orders, so they could rest here as long as they needed.
Alhaitham presses a kiss to the other’s head, a giggle escaping Kaveh. Sometimes it still felt like they were school boys, unsure of their relationship. Alhaitham covered them with a few blankets– his suggestion, he was always cold– before turning off the lamp on the nightstand. The only light now was the moonlight seeping in through the window.
As the night approaches, they lay there, two bodies merging into one as they slept. Their limbs were tangled in ways that neither would be able to explain once morning came, but that was alright with them. Alhaitham didn’t care about embarrassment, he just wanted his senior, his boyfriend to feel happy, safe, and a lack of pain when he woke up.