Work Text:
Working Title: Restless Dreams
Fresh shrimp, medium heat. Rice lightly fried, add a little broth.
Over the many years, the recipe for fried rice had become muscle memory to Sanji, years spent slaving over the stove had etched it into the walls of his skull, not many things could interrupt his focus once in the zone.
He recounted the steps in his head,
Add the shrimp and vegetables into the rice, stir, something moving and...
Something moving?
Sanji stopped. A little blurry black shape had moved quickly across the corner of his eye as he'd attempted to check out the window. He scanned the spot in search of what had moved and turned to get a better look, then retracted in horror.
A nasty little cockroach skittered across the kitchen floor, passively searching for crumbs.
Sanji recoiled so quickly that he very nearly spilled the food he was preparing but regained his balance just quickly enough to catch the pan.
As if somehow sensing he had noticed it, the cockroach scurried in his direction like a bat out of hell.
Sanji yelped and leaped across the room onto a step stool in a desperate attempt to get as far away from the wretched thing as possible. He'd sooner cut off his own foot than let even one of its hairy little legs touch him and if it did he might consider doing just that.
Although Sanji could stand up to sea kings without flinching, insects uniquely disgusted him like no other creature could. A sea king can at least easily be turned into a delicious meal, nobody wants to eat a bug. They eat nothing but rotting food, spread their filth everywhere and a single one could completely ruin a good meal.
In his eyes, they were just little monsters that brought nothing but disease and spoilage with them.
He wondered to himself how he could've let this thing into the kitchen and where it could've come from. Usopp's kinship with bugs and a certain "technique" suddenly came to mind, Sanji reminded himself to confront him about it later once this was dealt with.
Before he could consider his options of dealing with the insect menace however, the door swung open.
"Oi, Sanji. Everyone's waiting for dinner, are you going to be finished anytime soon or... what are you doing?" A voice asked.
Sanji looked up and locked eyes with an irritating familiar face. Though for once in his life he couldn't be happier to see it, he was too afraid be annoyed at the moment.
"Ah! Mosshead! Make yourself useful for once and kill that nasty thing!" Sanji shrieked.
"Kill what?"
"Are you blind? There, that roach!"
Zoro looked down and noticed the bug, "Oh, that? Why do I have to kill it? Are you too weak to squash even a bug?"
"Shut up Marimo! I... um, I just don't want bug guts on my shoes, it's unsanitary! Now just get rid of it!." Sanji explained unconfidently.
"Eh, whatever. If it means you'll do your damn job." Zoro said.
Zoro carefully pulled one blade from it's scabbard and watched tiny cockroach wander for a bit before giving it one swift slash, slicing it cleanly in two.
Sanji watched for about five seconds to make sure the cockroach was truly dead, before relaxing and descending from the stool.
"There, you owe me a favour. Now bring the food out, Luffy's been complaining." Zoro told him while making his exit.
"Hey, hey! You're just going to kill it and not clean up after yourself?" Sanji called out angrily.
"It's your kitchen, clean it yourself, dumbass." Zoro stated.
Sanji tried to keep arguing but Zoro had already shut the door behind him firmly, he sighed and rubbed his temples then glanced down at the bi-sected cockroach sadly, knowing that he obviously couldn't just let it lie there.
He accepted his fate and grabbed a scrap of paper towel to wrap his hand in so he wouldn't have to make direct contact with the bug. Though as his fingers closed around the pieces, its wet insides soaked the paper, Sanji still could feel the warmth from being alive only a few seconds ago. He retched, tossed it away as quickly as he could and rushed to the sink to scrub his hands.
After dinner, Sanji settled quietly into his bed whilst staring at the ceiling, trying his best not to worry if that cockroach had laid eggs somewhere in the kitchen.
He shifted onto his side and tried to imagine Nami and Robin sleeping soundly to put his mind at ease, it soothed the anxiety only just enough to get him to sleep. Though not a peaceful one.
After a while of what was seemingly sound sleep, a sudden terrible feeling ate away at the back of his mind like a parasite, though at first small and negligable, it grew and grew until he couldn't stand it. He opened his eyes again and looked around cautiously. He was struck with the sensation that something was... off.
At once it became clear that this wasn't the Merry, he was in a strange room that he didn't recognise, grey walls, hard stone floor, a gathering of cockroaches scuttled across the ground. He was in some kind of dungeon.
He called out to see if anyone was around. "Hello?"
No one replied.
That terrible, now almost familiar feeling nagged at him again, he tried to pinpoint what exactly was causing it.
Suddenly, his attention was snatched away by footsteps. The silhouette of a towering man approached, though only barely visible through shadow when Sanji looked up at those piercing eyes, he recognised them instantly. His blood ran cold.
"N-no..." He stammered.
A face he had tried to forget, twisted in the same unapproving visage as he'd seen all his childhood. Sanji now realised what was happening. He staggered back a little, with each step he began to feel smaller, not just compared to his father, physically smaller now. He was softer now, more vulnerable. A child again.
He tried to say something. Nothing came out. A cold metal contraption had appeared around his face. He struggled with it, gripping the solid steel between his fingers so tightly the tips turned white and began to sting but it wouldn't move an inch no matter how hard he pulled. At a point he had to give up, the more he struggled the more it hurt.
He wanted desperately to run towards his father and shake the bars of his cell. He couldn't move. He wanted to yell and demand answers but his throat had seemingly closed up. Sanji began to feel tears forming as a distinct feeling of helplessness began to settle in.
It couldn't be real. It couldn't be happening. It shouldn't be happening. It was impossible. It was supposed to be impossible.
He became hysterical, attempting to thrash, to scream and cry, begging for freedom, for any amount of power over his captor. No matter what he did, the towering figure remained still and silent, refusing to react to his tantrum.
The room began to spin and distort, Sanji's head throbbed. He tried to cry out one final time and his voice finally broke free. He screamed bloody murder and as he did, all at once, everything came crashing to an end.
Sanji thrashed back into conciousness, gasping and sputtering. When he came to, he aggressively ruffled his hair to ensure that it was all over, that none of it had been really real. He panted and wiped his brow, realising it had just been a nightmare.
He drew in a slow, trembling breath then let it out carefully. It seldom helped however, his heart wouldn't stop pounding.
Looking upwards shakily, he checked on each of his sleeping crewmates to make sure no one had been woken up by his fit.
Thankfully, all was still peaceful, no one had even so much as opened their eyes. Though somewhat relieved, it wasn't enough to stop the full-body trembling.
Now feeling too uncomfortable to go back to sleep, he sighed and crept out of bed, then carefully slipped out of the cabin and onto the deck. He'd hoped it was early enough to start cooking breakfast and pretend that this had never happened, but no such luck. The sky was still pitch black.
He opted instead to perch over the railing, looking out into the distance to disassociate. The dark blue sea was deathly silent, for a moment it felt like the world had stopped spinning, though it couldn't have been longer than a few hours before morning.
For a brief moment, he wondered what had spurred on a dream like that but he refused to linger on it. The more he thought about it the more the scenes replayed in his mind. He just wanted to forget everything.
He pulled his lighter from his coat pocket, ready to take the edge off. A good smoke break had always been his most reliable source of comfort, just one quiet smoke or two and he would be back to his old self again, according to his own logic anyways. As he sparked it however, Sanji felt a presence behind him. He turned around with a start, subconciously on high alert.
To Sanji's equal parts relief and annoyance, the mint-haired swordsman stood behind him looking sleepy. Sanji winced, he should've guessed Zoro would be out here at this time.
"What are you doing now, Shitty-cook? It's two in the morning." Zoro asked.
Sanji's inital jumpiness had completely faded once he heard that irritating voice again, replaced purely by annoyance. The quiet moment to himself he had been looking for would have to wait.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Did I disturb you, Sleeping Beauty?" Jeered Sanji.
"Tch, as if. I was keeping lookout, what are you doing out here?" Zoro asked again.
Sanji paused, he racked his brains to think of an excuse but turned a blank. He had no choice but to tell the truth, or a part of it at least.
"I... had a bad dream." He admitted.
Zoro raised an eyebrow, "A bad dream? What are you, a child?"
"Oh, shut up. Have you never had one before?" Sanji asked rhetorically.
"Of course not, you need to be afraid of something to have bad dreams." Zoro replied, not picking up on the sarcasm.
Sanji scoffed. "You're so full of shit, everyone's afraid of something."
"Then how about you, what was so bad you're having nightmares about it?" Zoro asked, leaning on the railing next to Sanji.
Sanji answered with a convenient lie already in mind.
"Cockroaches."
"Cockroaches?"
"Yep, just... roaches, everywhere. Probably because of the one in the kitchen tonight. Can't stand the things."
Zoro suddenly grinned smugly, confusing Sanji.
"I know you're lying. You wouldn't tell me something that embarrassing willingly if you weren't." He said.
Sanji's lip tightened around his cigarette for a moment, "How perceptive, for you at least."
Sanji bit his lip, he was sure he was going to be interrogated further and that he had no more excuses left in him. He knew that it would have to come out eventually but couldn't stand that it had to be Zoro of all people to find out. He braced for the incoming question.
Zoro only frowned. "...Whatever, I'm going to bed, you should too."
Sanji turned to Zoro, completely thrown for a loop. He stared blankly for a moment, then shook his head and tried his best to play it off with another sarcastic retort.
"What, you're not going to pry some more?"
"Why would I? I couldn't care less about your problems." Zoro responded.
Sanji respected Zoro's answer more then he could've possibly liked to admit but only nodded at him as acknowlegdement, Zoro nodded in return.
After Zoro made his leave, Sanji turned back to the sea to take a puff and contemplate just a little longer before returning to bed.
Sanji's mind was suddenly overcome by a flurry of deeply uncomfortable questions. Why did he have a bad dream now? Like Zoro had said, he wasn't a child anymore. He'd only had nightmares like this when he was quite young. It made sense then, the events were still fresh in his mind. They were still open wounds. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had one before this, though he couldn't have been much older than thirteen.
Why was it that tonight of all nights, when he hadn't thought much about them in years, did these dreams decide to claw their way to the surface again? He was happy, he loved his crew. It was over now. He didn't have to worry about these things anymore, not ever again.
He shook his head, deciding that there was no rhyme or reason. Dreams are just dreams, they happen purely for their own sake. This assumption was safe, it was comfortable. It meant he didn't have to keep thinking more about it.
His train of thought was broken again when he heard a delicate song from above. Looking up, he noticed a black shape sailing gracefully across the sky, clearly a bird of some kind.
Figuring this was as good a sign as any, he elected to go back inside like Zoro had suggested, he could just pretend he was never here. One more secret to stow away.
He crept back inside as quickly and quietly as he could possibly go. He was incredibly wary of his surroundings, he didn't dare risk accidentally waking someone up, it would only lead to more invasive questions.
Though when his eyes adjusted to the dark, he realised he wasn't as alone as he'd hoped, Zoro was still awake and sat at the foot of his bed, he watched Sanji silently.
Sanji tried speaking, "What the hell are you-"
Zoro gestured for him to be quiet, pointing with his eyes at their captain snoring beside him. Sanji grimaced, he couldn't stand when Zoro was right. He sat next to Zoro and slumped over, trying not to make eye contact. He didn't want to risk Zoro seeing the beginning of tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
But then he felt a soft, warm shape sling itself gently over his shoulder. Zoro had leant over onto him, in an attempt to offer some form of comfort.
Sanji couldn't hold back anymore, the dam in his heart burst. He wept softly into Zoro's chest, pushing his face in as close as he could to muffle the sound. Zoro pulled him closer in an embrace, accepting all the warm tears now flowing down his torso without a single complaint.
He felt every pent up emotion he had stowed away be released all at once. The tightness in chest seemed to finally lift now that it didn't have to bear everything by itself. This was the release Sanji had been unknowingly begging for, the catharsis he deserved.
Once he had no tears left to cry, Sanji sniffled and wiped his face. Looking up to make eye contact with his other wing with puffy eyes, he nodded. Zoro pulled him in and kissed him on the neck, Sanji let himself melt into the swordsman's shoulder, his blonde hair cascading over Zoro's back where ever it pleased.
The cook finally felt tired again, more than that, he was exhausted. He stood up wearily, Zoro, knowing that he had served his purpose, left the quarters to resume his nightly watch. Sanji watched him leave, a little sad he wouldn't stay. A part of him wanted to ask him to stay for just a little while longer, though someone had to keep watch so he'd just have to suck it up.
Sanji curled back into bed, feeling at peace again. He shuffled back onto his side, smiling. He thought back to his pondering outside. What dreams seemed to mean, though he still didn't believe that they meant anything. Dreams are just dreams.
Though maybe they don't always happen for no reason.