Work Text:
Kabru didn't have a set morning routine, as his schedule was far too inconsistent for one to form naturally. Of course, he always took care to brush his teeth, wash his face, style his hair, and put on deodorant before he left the house, even if he were to arrive slightly late as a result, and he would only put on clothes that had been freshly cleaned and ironed by the landlord to ensure that he looked as presentable as possible, but that hardly counted as a routine. His mornings typically consisted of a string of erratic, frantic movements as he attempted to get his bearings in a room that still felt just as strange and unfamiliar as it did the day he moved in nearly four years ago, with his disorientation amplified by chronic sleep deprivation. He would desperately search for his clothes and other belongings that he could not leave the house without, such as his keys and ID card, in a sleepy daze, bumping into pieces of furniture that seemed to appear out of nowhere just to trip him up, unsure as to what time of day it was due to the lack of windows in the cellar he would have called home if not for the fact that it never quite started to feel like one. By the time he was able to check his watch, it was typically so late that he could hardly afford to do anything else if he wanted to make it in on time, and so he would leave without bothering to grab anything to eat, and often without using the bathroom, which would inevitably backfire when he found himself being forced to choose between using the public restroom or relieving himself in the middle of class.
On the contrary, Laios turned out to be well-organised in this regard, which was quite unexpected for someone as nonchalant, easily distracted and impulsive as him, but made perfect sense once one realised that Laios had no trouble sticking to rules and routines so long as they made sense to him and had a verifiable practical application. It certainly helped that the system was one he came up with entirely by himself – Kabru suspected that if the routine were imposed on him by an outside force, such as a parent, he would be more resistant to following it, even if his disobedience would lead to a worse, less convenient result. It was a matter of principle, really – Kabru understood it quite well. Laios was very particular about the way things should be done, and in this case, that tendency worked in his favour. Every step of his morning routine was carefully considered in terms of the time and energy he would have to dedicate to it, making sure that he would not waste his efforts on something like brushing his teeth before eating breakfast. At the same time, he was flexible and accommodating enough to seamlessly include Kabru in his routine, and Kabru found it quite easy to adapt to it on the mornings that followed the nights he spent at his house.
Whenever Kabru slept at Laios' place, he would be woken up by the first rays of sunlight seeping through the curtains, which was far more pleasant than being shaken awake by a random impulse and forced to find his watch in order to figure out if he'd been unconscious for five hours or fifteen, and even then he could not be entirely sure until he went outside. As it turned out, it was much easier to organise one's day when one could personally trace the trajectory of the Sun by simply looking out the window. To say nothing of the benefit of having slept for the recommended eight hours without interruption, which made a world of difference for his ability to move around without immediately getting light-headed. Better yet, by virtue of waking up early, he and Laios could afford to spend some precious moments lingering in bed, cuddling under the blanket while they exchanged messy, awkward kisses and intimate whispers punctuated by a cavalcade of yawns.
Regrettably, this idyllic scene would not last forever. Sooner or later, they would have to get out of bed and start preparing to face the day. By now, Kabru could tell precisely when the moment came by the shift in Laios' demeanour, an alertness that was not prompted by a sudden sound or a sight, or indeed anything at all, as far as Kabru could tell, except for some kind of internal sense of urgency. Whether it was intuition or a fine-tuned biological clock (he would later find out that most of the time it was simply the fact that Laios desperately needed to empty his bladder, which certainly explained the look on his face), Kabru was grateful for its existence, because he certainly wouldn't have been able to bring himself to get up without it. Somewhat counterintuitively, being well-rested had a way of making him want to stay in bed for a little while longer, though that may have been mostly due to the fact that Laios' bed was far more comfortable than his own.
In the event that he did not need to use the bathroom first thing in the morning, Laios would start the day by making breakfast, which Kabru was perfectly happy to capitalise on by occupying the bathroom himself while he waited for Laios to come knocking on the door and inform him that the food was ready. Although the bathroom in Laios’ apartment wasn't anything special, objectively speaking, it was downright luxurious compared to Kabru’s. One had to appreciate the little things, such as the lack of mold on the toilet bowl and a shower head that did not leak, towels that did not smell of mildew and a mirror that, while a little dirty, was still fully functional, not to mention the access to a real bathtub, and quite a big one at that. Kabru would get to enjoy all of these luxuries to the fullest once he moved in with Laios this Summer, but for now he was happy to have access to them at all. Laios was so kind as to allow him to use any of his towels, and provided him with a guest toothbrush that he assured him was bought specifically for his exclusive use, just so that he would not have to remember to bring his own toothbrush every time he wanted to come over. Kabru picked up the toothbrush and examined it closely, feeling strangely fond. He was aware, of course, of the ‘toothbrush stage’ in the context of a romantic relationship, often depicted in movies to indicate a transition from a casual affair to genuine commitment. The presence of one character's toothbrush in the other’s bathroom served as a representation of them becoming a permanent piece of the other’s life. A simple idea, but an effective one. As far as he could tell, it was typically supposed to be one's regular toothbrush, but at this stage, it was probably for the better that it was a spare, if only because of Kabru’s unpredictable schedule. With time, this toothbrush would likely become the regular one, anyhow. Since he did not need to brush his teeth yet, he put it back in its place and instead turned his attention to the mirror.
Kabru’s eyes looked back at him from his reflection. It was a distant memory now, but he could recall their colour being a major source of insecurity in his childhood. It did not escape his notice that they did not resemble the eyes of anybody else he knew – indeed, as he later found out, his blue eyes were likely the reason behind his father disowning him the day he was born, which certainly didn't help his self-image. While a part of him still wished that they resembled his mom’s instead – at least it would give him something to remember her by as the memory of her face faded into obscurity – he'd grown to appreciate the uniqueness of his eyes a fair bit, though it took him a while to get to that point. By the time he entered university, he was still quite self-conscious about all the things that could end up alienating him from his peers. It came as quite a surprise, then, when he found himself receiving more compliments for his eyes than everything else combined (other than his charming personality, of course). Evidently, they had more appeal than he'd given them credit for. That discovery, as well as the overwhelmingly positive attention he received, initially left him feeling rather conflicted, but ultimately he decided to use it to his advantage.
Nowadays, Kabru was quite comfortable in the knowledge that he was broadly considered to be a handsome and charming young man, pleasant to look at and equally pleasant to converse with. Acknowledging these things about oneself ran the risk of appearing conceited or arrogant – indeed, Rin had called him out on it in the past, though one could never be sure which of her criticisms of him were said in earnest or in jest – but Kabru was not particularly concerned about that. He was not offering an opinion or expressing a wish so much as he was making an observation about the way he was perceived, an observation that was quite easy to quantify, at that. Kabru certainly benefitted from this perception, and he went to great lengths to keep it. He put a lot of effort into maintaining his appearance – one could argue that he could stand to put a fraction of that effort into maintaining his health instead, but that was simply not where his priorities lied – as well as constantly improving his interpersonal skills, and it had worked out quite well for him so far.
Having thoroughly examined his face for any signs of facial hair growth and regrettably found none, Kabru wetted his thumb with his tongue and smoothed down his eyebrows into two perfectly symmetrical arches,which he subsequently crinkled as he watched himself comb his fingers through his hair in an attempt to style it into an acceptable shape. People often asked to touch his hair, and some would bypass asking altogether and simply hope that he wouldn't notice, which was a constant source of annoyance for him. Kabru was not a fan of being touched to begin with, and he especially did not want a stranger's hands mussing up his hair after he'd put so much effort into maintaining it. Very few people earned the right to put their hands anywhere near his body, one of them being Holm on account of being the only person he fully trusted with medical issues, and another being Laios, of course, by virtue of being his boyfriend.
Laios was also one of the very few people who had the dubious privilege of seeing Kabru in a truly dishevelled state, stripped down to his underwear, drenched in sweat, with messy hair and bad breath. Prior to their meeting, it would have been unthinkable for Kabru to willingly let anyone see him in such an unflattering state, especially not somebody he was romantically involved with, for fear that they would no longer be attracted to him afterwards. Perhaps it was this refusal to be perceived as vulnerable and imperfect that was the reason why he'd never been able to get quite far enough into a romantic engagement for that to become a factor to begin with. Of course, it would be ridiculous to worry about such a thing with Laios, whose attraction to Kabru only seemed to grow with every glimpse beyond his carefully maintained facade. In order to remain attractive to Laios, one had to learn to let go of shame and release all inhibitions. Kabru was not quite there yet, but he was well on his way to achieving the kind of looseness that seemed to come naturally to Laios.
Kabru squished his cheeks between his hands, pursed his lips, and started making kissy noises at the mirror. The shape of his lips naturally made them appear slightly puckered, which, he'd been told, made them look very kissable – a primitive flirting technique, perhaps, but flattering nonetheless. Well, he thought with a humorous twinkle in his eye, Laios seemed to enjoy kissing them, and he would be the only one to do so in the foreseeable future, so that was all that really mattered.
Something rapped on the bathroom door: Laios announcing that breakfast was ready. Kabru sent his reflection one final kiss and a wink before he exited the bathroom to join Laios in the kitchen. They were having scrambled eggs today, very yellow and very buttery, with a bunch of aromatic herbs thrown in to enhance the flavour and, at Kabru's request, a dollop of ketchup on top. Laios cut a bun in half and stuck his scrambled eggs inside. The mixture spilled out the sides as soon as he took a bite, but he proceeded, unfazed, to pick it up and lick it off his fingers. Despite Laios' offer to make his eggs into a sandwich, Kabru opted to use a fork, which seemed like a slightly more reliable option – besides, he was not sure if his stomach could handle such a big portion.
“Oh, by the way!” Laios prompted once he finished his meal. “Now that I think about it, I guess I could make you lunch real quick while I'm at it. Then you wouldn't have to wait for me to bring it over for your lunch break. It's up to you, though. It's no skin off my back. I just figured that it would be bad if I was late for whatever reason, or if I couldn't find the right classroom.”
Kabru pursed his lips. “Hm? Oh, I suppose. I'm not worried about that, though,” he said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I'm counting on you to make that delivery on time.”
While Laios washed the dishes, Kabru ended up back in the bathroom, this time with the intent of actually brushing his teeth. The sight of the toothbrush brought back a train of thought from earlier, and he went on to ponder it while he mechanically moved it back and forth across both rows of pristine white teeth. Now then: the toothbrush stage. In stories, it would typically take a few months before such a development would occur. At the very least, it would certainly take longer than a week. Wasn't it a little early to be making this step? On the other hand, they already agreed to move in together, so there was no reason not to do it. The toothbrush was hardly a declaration of commitment – the declaration had already been made explicit during the conversation they had about it. The spare toothbrush was simply a practical necessity in their situation.
Of course, one could argue that if it was too early to signal one's willingness to commit to a relationship, then it was certainly too early to declare it openly, and perhaps Kabru would be inclined to agree with that if the topic of conversation were any relationship other than his own. He was familiar with the risks of getting attached to someone too quickly, of rushing through the early stages of the relationship, of ignoring red flags under the pretence of true love, and he'd gone so far out of his way to avoid them that he refused to get attached to anybody at all just in case. He was, however, convinced that none of that was relevant to their situation. Truthfully, his relationship with Laios didn't follow any model he was familiar with, which he suspected was partially due to the fact that his data mostly pertained to heterosexual pairings who did not follow the same rules, and partially due to Laios' specific idiosyncrasies that put him well outside of the accepted scope of human interactions. That was hardly a problem, though. The progression of their relationship, while certainly unusual, felt perfectly natural. Indeed, it was whenever Kabru tried to be mindful of the risks and pitfalls, and adjust his behaviour to follow the expected, typical patterns of behaviour, that things tended to go off the rails, which was probably a sign that he should refrain from doing so.
At the same time, a part of him could not help but feel like their defiance of the rules that governed human relationships would indeed backfire on them one day. Everything seemed to be going well so far, and there was no reason whatsoever to believe that that was going to change anytime soon, but what if that was simply a feature of being in the earliest stage of a relationship, also known as the 'honeymoon phase,' so named because one would only start to notice the faults in their relationship once it was over and the mundane reality of the situation set in? What if some terrible fault within Laios, or within himself, some fundamental incompatibility, would only reveal itself once they moved in together and were forced to spend more time in each other's presence? What then? Would they be able to cut their losses and go their separate ways, or would they carry on, unwilling to admit that they'd made a terrible mistake? It was certainly a concern for Kabru. He'd never been in a serious relationship before, and he likely never would again if they broke up. Never again would he reach the level of vulnerability necessary to maintain a relationship. The same was likely true of Laios, though in a slightly different way; if things did not work out between them, he would not have the confidence to pursue another relationship, and if he did, he would seek out a man who would treat him poorly to punish himself for ever thinking that he deserved anything better.
Another knock on the door, followed by a whispered plea: “Pssst! Hey, Kabru, hey, are you in here? Can I come in? I need to pee really badly...” he confessed in a miserable, whining tone. Kabru heard his feet shuffle on the other side of the door and he cracked a smile. Right, Laios hadn't had an opportunity to empty his bladder yet. He must have been really desperate to relieve himself. Unable to speak with a toothbrush in his mouth, Kabru let out an affirmative hum. Laios immediately barged in, giving a grateful nod in Kabru's direction while he fiddled with the front of his pants. Kabru watched his hands from the corner of his eye, and averted his gaze as soon as he caught a glimpse of the pecker. He'd never seen it in its flaccid state before, and was curious to compare the size and texture – for purely scientific reasons, of course. Unfortunately, it was too late to ask Laios if he could hold it for him, but there was always next time.
Fssssssssh. A powerful stream hit the toilet bowl, sizzling loudly, at the same time that a deep sigh of relief came out of Laios' mouth. Kabru continued to brush his teeth, gripping the toothbrush tightly in his hand as he fought the urge to glance back at Laios. The sizzling sound grew louder and louder in his ears until he could no longer hear anything else. Kabru watched his own cheeks flush in the reflection, and squeezed his eyes shut so that he could ignore it. Laios began to whistle a cheerful melody while he continued to empty his bladder, which, judging by the length of the process, seemed to have about twice the capacity of a regular one. How much liquid could it possibly hold? Was this a medical anomaly of some kind?
Before he could stop himself, Kabru glanced back over his shoulder just in time to catch the moment the stream finally ended, the final few droplets dripping out as if from a leaking faucet. Laios shook them off before tucking the bundle back into his boxers and flushing the toilet. “Whew, that's a relief!” he mused, turning towards the sink with his hands raised awkwardly. As soon as their eyes met, Kabru reflexively averted his gaze, biting down on the toothbrush. Agh, he'd been caught staring! And he barely even got to see anything! What a waste.
...Wait a second. Why was he even panicking over this? Laios never asked him not to look, nor did he express that he was shy about peeing in front of him. If he was, he likely wouldn't have barged into the bathroom knowing full well that he was there. Besides, Kabru had seen him naked before, and Laios certainly didn't seem to think that it was a big deal. This reaction was totally unwarranted! Once again, Kabru had fallen into the same old pattern. He shook his head in self-disapproval, snorting with laughter at his own foolishness.
“Huh?” Laios blinked in confusion, his cheeks flushing. “What's funny?”
Kabru pulled the toothbrush out of his mouth, and spat into the sink, creating a rather artistic-looking blue splatter with the toothpaste. “No, no, it's nothing. Don't mind me,” he said, wiping his mouth with the back of my hand. “I'm really happy that we're together, is all.”