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(Michelle)
Michelle cant remember a time where her and willow
Werent friends, best friends. They’ve been inseparable as long as she can remember, but now… well now shes sure she messed it up. She’s gone and done it, i mean she always knew willow was too good for her, it was inevitable at least to michelle.
All the bullying and abuse willow faced, all michelle wanted to do was be there for her and protect her not be the one causing her pain. I mean seriously what was she thinking?
“Its not my fault you don’t like boys!” She scowled. Willow recoiled at the words. Oh god shes messed up really bad. “Look im not trying to be a jerk okay-“ she tried. “No. No michelle, you might not mean it but stop. You are being a jerk.” Willow said, eyes welling with tears.
“Im going, don’t follow me i mean it. Seriously michelle.” Willow said through sobs turning to walk away inti the pouring rain, without a jacket. Michelle watched as her figure disappeared into the dark and rainy day. She couldn’t let this happen, she cant lose willow.
“Willow please!” Michelle screamed, running after her figure, doc martins splashing through the wet ground. How on earth had she gotten so far ahead?
As michelle struggled to catch up she fell, thoughts interrupted by a burning sensation in her knees despite the cold, wet tarmac beneath her.
She was sobbing now, kneeling on the sidewalk the only sound other than her sobbing being the splatter of heavy rainfall. As the rain soaked into her summer top she could get out of her head, all the thoughts bouncing around.
What if willow hates me? Why did i do that? Whywhywhywhywhy?
Her thoughts were interrupted by a warmth on her shoulder. Willows hand. “Woah!” She startled at the touch. Willow was here. Only… dressed as a sorcerer?
Not just a sorcerer… but the one from their childhood drawings, where willow was a sorcerer and michelle was a ‘brave’ knight. She didnt feel so brave right now. Or that night at the quarry all those years ago…
“What the hell? Why- what- where are we?” She settled on, voice coarse and strained. “I dont know michelle!” Willow snapped back. “Your- your a sorcerer?” Michelle said looking up at willow but she recieved a glare back.
“Look i know your pissed willow-“
You have every right to be i fucked up-
“and im truly sorry but can we not right not?”
Michelle said now taking in willows tear stained cheeks and wondering how she looked as she often did around willow.
Now taking in her surroundings michelle noticed the grass beneath her knees and flowers surrounding her as the sun glared down at them. Where were they?
She returned her attention to willow who’s eyes glistened and shone in the light coated with tears, rosey tear stained cheeks and chapped lips michelle couldn’t rip her gaze from.
“You cant seriously expect me to calm down right now?!” Willow yelled sounding angry but there was an underlying sadness highlighted by the coarseness of her voice from sobbing, it broke Michelle’s heart not only to hear her like this. But knowing she caused it.
“Why dont you just go run to Jayden?!” Willow finished sounding even sadder as she spat the name. Jayden.
Her arms waved frantically and in frustration as she spoke. “Willow come on im sorry” im sorry i love you.
“Your my best friend! Me and Jayden are over okay!” She said sounding ruder than she would’ve liked and more distressed over the possible loss of willow than Jayden than shed have liked. More than was normal.
Not that she’d ever admit where her sorrow lay, she had hardly accepted the prospect. “Sorry.” Michelle said again. “Okay look. Ill forget it. Im still angry but-“ she gestured to their surroundings, still frustration in the movements.
“So- what exactly happened?” Michelle asked carefully not wanting to destroy the semi-forgiveness she was given. The last thing she wanted to do was damage their fractured friendship even more.
This was going to be a long trip.
(Willow)
After what felt like hours walking, willows legs aching. Michelle spoke up. “I think we should find somewhere to sleep for the night.” She said. The sky was darkening and willow was tired but the thought of sleeping in the woods sent shivers down her spine.
“No. We have to keep walking till we either find someone or shelter to sleep for the night.” She replied, wondering if michelle picked up on the exhaustion in her voice. If she did she didn’t say anything. They continued down the dirt path surrounded by trees.
As much as willow dislikes the woods (especially at night) she had to admit she found Michelle’s presence really comforting, almost like she did when she was younger. She had to remind herself it wasn’t the same. They weren’t young or close anymore. She was still really mad of course but having her there still helped. Despite the beautiful flowers and the way the blew in the breeze or the birds chirping or the peaceful nature of the area, she was still scared they were still in some weird unknown place.
Michelle blended in well willow struggled not to stare at her. The way her hair framed her face perfectly. The curve of her nose, she always complained about but willow secretly loved, her sharp jawline, the way her soft short curls blew in the wind or went flat when wet after swimming. Everything about her.
This was going to be a nightmare.
Why them? Willow thought. Why me and michelle not her and Jayden? Why now? I mean its not like she cares about willow anymore? Right? It certainly seems that way at least. It wasn’t until michelle grabbed her hand, the warm touch making her feel tingly, she realised she was crying.
“Willow? Willow! Are you okay?” She paused staring deeply into willows eyes. It was too much. “Is it the woods? If its about earlier im really sorry okay? I messed up, i messed up really badly and- i need you. I miss you. I miss us.” She pulled willow even closer.
“I don’t know whats wrong with me i was horrible.” She finished with a deep regretful frown. The sincerity and sorrow in her voice alone nearly sent willow to tears, Never mind the words.
Every word. Every single one felt like a stab. No matter how kind or genuine it just made willow feel worse. “Michelle. Stop.” Willow said Through tears. She was a blubbering mess of sobs.
She pulled her hand away and reached for Michelle’s jaw caressing it. Michelle leaned into the touch, but willow pulled back. No. Shes misreading. This isn’t what she thinks it is.
Michelle looked impossibly sad and lost from the lost contact.
“Michelle. Michelle… dont start. I mean seriously!? You’ve ignored me all summer and for what?! Some stupid boy… i know, i know ‘you broke up’ but that doesn’t undo everything nor does it repair our relationship. You done this. You hurt me and its not just your words. Its everything. The distancing, the comments, ignoring me for him. I mean tell me really. Really. Do you care about me? Because it doesn’t seem like it. It really doesn’t?! I mean for gods sake are we even friends anymore?! Friends don’t ignore each other. I don’t get it? Friends don’t ignore each other but they also dont hold hands? So what are we? What are we michelle?! Because friends don’t do that!” Willow yelled. Sobbing and breaking down into Michelle’s arms.
Michelle paused before hugging her tightly pressing her face into willows brunette hair. “What do you mean it doesnt make seem like we are friends?” Michelle asked quietly.
She understood deep down but she wasnt ready to face that possibility. Willows saying it doesnt make sense, But shes the only thing that makes sense to me? We make sense? She got lost in her thoughts as she held willow, crying into her hair silently.
“Michelle. Michelle.” Was all willow could get out. “Willow? What?” Michelle asked, voice impossibly soft as her fingers drew circles on willows lower back. She just sobbed leaning further into michelle. “Hey, its okay.” Michelle said, but she didn’t believe it. “Nothing okay michelle. Nothing.” Willow said into Michelle’s shoulder so softly it was as if she wasn’t meant to hear.
(Michelle)
She didn’t understand. She tried to tell herself, she was confused. Willow didnt mean that. She just didnt understand. She didnt understand.
She didnt understand why nothing she done was helping. Why she couldnt ease willows pain. Why they drifted apart. Why she fucked up.
Why she thought of willow like that?