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He didn't know which part of it annoyed him the most: no one coming to rescue him like he'd told himself they wouldn't, or finding Matt and Karen snuggled up in his damn safe house. It wasn't a jealousy thing. Matt was gay and it had always been more like siblings with him and Karen than anything. No, it was hurt that he'd come running the second Matt needed help, and they'd just left him there to rot.
His anger must have shown on his face because Karen muttered something about coffee and scurried quickly into the next room. Smart girl. Intuitive, really to realize in under twenty seconds that she wasn't the one he was mad at. At least not as much. No, that special honor was reserved for Matt Murdock, whose face reflected, not surprise at his return, but relief.
"Frank," he breathed, getting up and moving towards him, but Frank just glared.
"Thanks for nothing, I guess," he grumbled, stalking right past him, in desperate need of a shower and a few painkillers, at least twice the recommended dosage, if not more.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Matt retorted before Frank had moved more than two steps.
"It means I'm frustrated, Red," he declared, not turning around.
"With what?" Matt asked, oblivious as ever.
"With you!" Frank snarled, turning on his heel and snapping like a dog.
"Why?" Matt demanded and Frank closed his eyes, battling the desire to shake him.
"Where do you wanna start?" he growled instead.
He wanted to fight with him. He needed to. He'd never let himself have fights with Maria. Everything he said back then would get blanketed under "This is just the PTSD talking" and "You need help, Frank." And maybe he did. But Maria, he couldn't fight with, and Matt, he could. Matt could take it. He would take it, every bitter thought and hurt feeling. He was oblivious sometimes, but he was resilient, and Frank wouldn't break him just by being honest.
"What exactly is your problem here?" Matt asked, and that tone, the lawyer tone, didn't exactly help.
"You," Frank stated flatly. "You are my problem. You're just so — "
"What?" Matt said defensively. "No, say it."
"Self involved," Frank spat after a brief hesitation. "I never met anybody who treated a relationship so much like a one way street."
"I don't know what you're getting at here," Matt insisted, shaking his head. "Is this about Red Hook? We were working on a plan —"
"Yeah, that and everything else," Frank declared, not letting Matt justify himself to him.
"Everything is pretty broad, Frank," Matt pointed out.
"Okay, let me narrow it down for you," Frank retorted, finding himself annoyed that Matt wouldn't fight back, only offer calm deflections and platitudes. "When you need me, I show up every damn time, no questions asked. You need an army of ninjas taken out on a rooftop? Fine, I'm there. Karen calls and says you need me or you're gonna get your dumb ass killed? My ass is already in the fucking car. I'm there. Every time, I'm there."
Matt sighed. "I'm not denying that."
It wasn't enough. Frank shook his head, almost too weary to argue about it, but he'd started the fight now, and he'd carry it through to some kind of resolution, whatever that ended up being. Matt didn't get to leave him behind like a bad smell, and then wonder why he was pissed about it. Loyalty wasn't that hard of a concept to grasp.
"Red, you cannot be this dense about it," he said tiredly. "Ask yourself where the hell you are when I need you."
Matt frowned. "You never said that you did."
"I shouldn't have to," Frank declared, emotion making his voice hoarse.
Matt reached for him. "I just figure, you can handle it. You're always — "
"Fine?" Frank said with a bitter half laugh, pulling away. "Not always. Not even fifty percent of the time. I have been close to the edge more times than I can even count, but you wouldn't know that. Because Frank can take care of himself. Frank's always fine. Frank's only lost every damn person he ever cared about. It doesn't help that his boyfriend is a fucking flake."
Matt winced and then said contritely, "You're right. I haven't been there for you. It just never occurred to me that you would even want me to be. I just figured you'd push me away anyway."
"So what if I did?" Frank exclaimed, striding away from him, pacing like a caged animal. "That means you shouldn't try or give a damn?"
"I do give a damn," Matt said imploringly. "I do! Tell me what you need from me."
It annoyed him that Matt didn't automatically know. It annoyed him even more that he actually asked after leaving him to go mad in his cage. It was less the inaction than the way it made him feel, like he wasn't worth the risk or worth saving. What exactly had the plan been, besides waiting for him to come back, like a dog waiting for its master? Red was better than that. He had to be.
"I'd tell you to figure it out, but you won't," Frank said with a sigh. "Check on me. Text me. Call me. Show up. Ask me if I need anything, even I tell you no. And, I can't believe this needs to be said, but spring me loose when I get locked up and beaten to hell helping you. Just care, and be there, whether you think I want you to be or not."
"Okay. I… I can do that. Frank," Matt murmured, laying a hand on his arm. "I do care. I should've—"
"Then prove it," Frank said flatly. "I don't want words, Red. I want a guy who shows up. I want that guy to be you."
"It will be," Matt promised, his tone earnest. "Frank, I swear. I care about you, and you're not wrong about any of it. I know you don't believe in second chances, but please — give me one anyway."
"One chance," Frank agreed, despite knowing there would be quite a few more than that in his future. "Just be there, Red. I need someone to give a fuck… or when I get low, and I start thinking nobody does, I need some evidence to contradict that. I can only climb out of that hole alone so many times."
Matt sighed. "I know. I know, and I'm sorry."
He wrapped Frank in a tight embrace that he allowed. Mostly out of hope that maybe, just maybe, things could be different somehow. With Red showing up. With time. With taking his mental health seriously, and actually getting some honest to God help. Because he needed it. But he needed Matt too.