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cat's out of the bag!

Summary:

[r/relationship_advice]
I (27M) want to give my boyfriend (25M) a bag with cat keychains, but I’m overthinking it. Is this a dumb gift?
Submitted by u/cat_hyung_25

Notes:


hi hii !! silly 2min because Minho said he wants to give a cat bag charm to Seungmin and I am so normal about it :]

🐰 "I’d like to gift this cat keychain to our house dog kim seungmin. Since he’s a puppy, I want to give him a cat ☺️"

I've never used reddit so ignore if the format isn't accurate.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

 

[ r/relationship_advice ]

I (27M) want to give my boyfriend (25M) a bag with cat keychains, but I’m overthinking it. Is this a dumb gift?

Submitted by u/cat_hyung_25 

 

Throwaway because my boyfriend uses Reddit and he would absolutely recognize this situation immediately.

So, my boyfriend (25M) and I (27M) have a pretty established "cat-dog" dynamic. Everyone in our lives compares us to them, and it’s kind of our running joke. He usually calls me his "cute cat hyung" and I call him my "house dog" (affectionate, I promise).

The other day, I saw this really nice bag that came with these adorable little cat keyrings attached to it, and I immediately thought of him. I ended up buying it, but now that it's sitting in my room, I’m completely overthinking the whole thing.

Look, it’s not a big deal or anything, but obviously... the cat keychains look like me. So technically, he’d be forced to think of my face every time he uses the bag, which is fine. It’s practical! It's not like I bought it specifically so he’d constantly think of me or anything. That would be embarrassing, and I definitely don't want him getting a big head about it or thinking I'm needy.

...Though, okay, fine, if he happens to think about me for a second when he looks at it, I wouldn't hate it. In fact, I'm doing this to get even with him. I think about him basically every second of every single day. (But he absolutely does not need to know that. He'd never let me hear the end of it.) So it's only fair he should start doing the same too.

My current plan is to literally just hand the bag over to him, say "Mong" (like a bark), and walk away before he can ask any questions.

Is this a stupid or overly sentimental gift? How would you react if your partner gave you this?

▲1.5k▼    🖤 284    🔗 Share 

 

💬 248 Comments

 

u/gnab_nahc • [52 points]

OP, I say this with the utmost respect and love... you are completely whipped. Like, it's actually terminal at this point. Just give him the bag! He’s going to love it because it’s from you, and he definitely won’t think you're needy. Please don't just say “Mong” and run away, at least stay for a hug! 😭

u/cat_hyung_25 • [-14 points]

I am not terminal. Delete your account.

 

u/quokkatron • [40 points]

hahahhah no way. "Mong"??? Look, as someone who probably knows a guy exactly like your boyfriend... he is going to absolutely lose his mind over this. He probably thinks about you just as much, so stop acting like a tough cat and just admit you want his attention!!

 

u/seo_changbin • [12 points]

"I think about him basically every second of every single day."
Minho hyung, you just posted it on the literal internet. If he has eyes, he knows. Cute gift. Do it.

u/cat_hyung_25 •  [-28 points]

Why are you using your government name on reddit?

 

u/drama_lama • [38 points]

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO DRAMATIC ??? "He'd be forced to look at my face every time he uses the bag" OP you are so deeply in denial it’s beautiful. The most tsundere, cat-brained thing I have ever heard in my life. It is an incredibly sweet gift, please stop overthinking and just give it to him!! If he doesn't cry from how cute it is, I will.

u/cat_hyung_25 • [-2 points]

I am not in denial. It is a functional accessory with high utility. Mind your own business and go back to your easel.

 

u/I_HIT_EMERALD_NOT_BRONZE_ANYMORE • [501 points]

AAALSKDJFH THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER!!! 🐱🐶
Please don’t be embarrassed, OP! Giving your partner something that reminds them of you is so romantic. If my boyfriend gave me a bag with keychains that looked like him, I would carry it literally everywhere and show everyone. Update us please!! You two sound so precious

u/cat_hyung_25 • [88 points]

thank you bok-ah.

 

u/fox_on_the_run • [320 points]

This is so embarrassing to read, hyun— I mean, OP. You’re 27, why are you barking at your boyfriend and running away? Just give him the bag. (But yeah, he’s going to love it. He’s obsessed with you anyway).

u/cat_hyung_25 • [-5 points]

mind you business brat.

u/fox_on_the_run • [42 points]

you posted your business on the internet.

u/cat_hyung_25 • [19 points]

it was ANONYMOUS.

 

[ r/relationship_advice ]

Update 1: cat keychain for my puppy

Posted by u/cat_hyung_25

Why are there seven comments within three minutes of posting this? And why do all of you sound exactly like my loud-mouthed friends? Stop downvoting me!!! And stop upvoting each other, you're ruining my algorithm. I am an anonymous 27-year-old man from Ohio. Go away.

▲1.1k▼    🖤 749    🔗 Share 

💬 388 Comments

 

 

[ r/relationship_advice ]

Update 2: cat keychain for my puppy

Posted by u/cat_hyung_25

Look, I only came here because it’s our two-year anniversary this weekend. I feel stupid giving a bag as a milestone gift. Even if... okay, fine, it’s a Gucci bag. I saved up for it. But it still feels like it’s not enough.

"Puppy" (let's just call him that) always gives the most thoughtful, amazing gifts. Last year, my puppy made a whole scrapbook of all our trips. When I mentioned being tired, my puppy literally saved up to surprise me with this insanely high-end espresso coffee machine just so I could have good coffee every morning. He even went out of his way to import my favorite custard pudding directly from Japan just to see me smile.

He’s always looking after me and being incredible. My puppy deserves the absolute world, and I just wanted to make him happy this time with something really nice. But a bag with cartoonish cat keychains feels dumb and materialistic compared to how much he does for me.  

▲1.4k▼    🖤 848    🔗 Share 

 

💬 930 Comments

 

u/drama_lama • [21 points]

GUCCI?? Since when do you drop luxury brand money on a gift?! You gave Changbin hyung pink lacy underwear and Jeongin a stupid turtle costume. Are you his sugar daddy?? This is so sexy and romantic.

u/cat_hyung_99 • [-89 points]

I am still waiting on the proof pictures of Changbin. stop hogging them I know you have them.

 

u/seo_changbin • [18 points]

Hyung, he literally wears the beat-up slippers you bought him at a convenience store like they’re made of gold. He’s going to cherish a Gucci bag from you forever. And don't be ridiculous I am not sending you pictures of me in pink underwear.

u/cat_hyung_99 • [-56 points] 

lame

 

u/I_HIT_EMERALD_NOT_BRONZE_ANYMORE • [19 points]

OH MY GOD, TWO YEARS!! 🥺💖 Hyung, don't feel stupid! The luxury brand doesn't even matter, it’s the fact that you looked at those little cats and immediately thought of how much you love him. You have such a big, warm heart and you always take care of him in your own ways. He’s going to absolutely treasure it because it's from you!

u/cat_hyung_99 • [-4 points] 

Would you recommend me a keyboard? He's been into gaming a lot recently.

u/I_HIT_EMERALD_NOT_BRONZE_ANYMORE • [54 points]

absolutely! i'll send you some links. 

 

u/fox_on_the_run • [12 points]

If you don't want to give it to him, I will gladly take the Gucci bag. My birthday is coming up.

u/cat_hyung_99 • [-7 points]

In your dreams, brat.

 

u/gnab_nahc • [920 points]

See? Everyone is telling you the same thing. You always give great gifts because they come from the heart. Stop overthinking it and just trust that he loves you. And he would looooooove for you to be his sugar daddy. Oooooo you want him to be your sugar baby so much.

u/cat_hyung_99 • [-7 points]

hey u/I_HIT_EMERALD_NOT_BRONZE_ANYMORE your old man is annoying me. 

 

u/cat_hyung_99 • [-5 points]

I hate all of you. Seriously. Why is my entire circus spawning under my ANONYMOUS, mind you, throwaway post? Do none of you have jobs? Why are you stalking the relationship advice subreddit at 4 PM on a weekday? Go practice. Go touch grass. Leave me alone. I am not here to ask for your advice anyway.

u/quokka_vibe_99 • [23 points]

"I am not here to ask for your advice anyway" – Man who literally posted on r/relationship_advice twice in one hour. 💀

 

 

 

[ r/relationship_advice ]

Can the mods please lock my previous thread? People are brigading.

Submitted by u/cat_hyung_25 

 

To the absolute menaces currently blowing up my notifications. Fascinating how you people suddenly have infinite free time the second I post something slightly embarrassing online. I didn't realize my personal life was a mandatory team-building exercise. Redirect this energy into your own miserable lives and stop haunting my thread.

If I give him the bag, he’s going to know I'm the one who made that post. He’s going to think I’m entirely pathetic for writing that I think about him every second of the day. It was an exaggeration anyway!!! Obviously, I don't think about him that much. I have things to do, cats to feed.

If he sees this because you guys kept upvoting it to the front page, I am throwing the bag in the river. I mean it. It's going straight into the Han River and it's your fault.

 

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💬 248 COMMENTS:

 

u/I_HIT_EMERALD_NOT_BRONZE_ANYMORE• [215 points]

NOOOO DON'T THROW IT IN THE RIVER!!! 😭 It’s so precious! Don't listen to them hyung, they're just teasing because you're cute when you're romantic!

 

u/fox_on_the_run• [340 points]

Too late, I already grabbed a screenshot of the part where you said you think about him every second of every day. And I sent the og post's link to the group chat. He hasn't replied yet but he's typing. GG.

 

 

[ r/help ]

How do you delete someone else's Reddit account? Or their phone?

Submitted by u/cat_hyung_25

Asking for a friend from Ohio. Urgent.

▲185▼    🖤 284    🔗 Share 

💬 4 Comments

 

 

Replying to u/cat_hyung_25

u/LotteGiants_#1 • [22k points] • *Pinned by Moderator* 

First of all, the Lotte Giants played a terrible game today, and I was already in a bad mood. Now I have to open Reddit because Han and Jeongin are blowing up the group chat, only to find this.

Second, "cat_hyung_25"? Seriously? You didn't even try to hide your username. I knew it was you by the first sentence. Who else uses the word "house dog" and plans to bark to avoid a romantic moment? You're not slick.

Third... you think about me every second of every day? Interesting. Good to know. Keep doing that. And don't you dare say "Mong" and run away. You're staying right there so I can look at your red face while you actually hand it to me like a normal person. Bring the bag to dinner tonight, my cute cat hyung. I'll see you at 7.

 

u/cat_hyung_25 • [-10 points]

I don't know who you are. This is a stranger's account. I am from Ohio. The Giants lost because their pitching is atrocious, by the way. And I am NOT bringing any bag.

u/LotteGiants_#1 • [18k points] 

Hyung how dare you! You know nothing about the Giants' pitching rotation !! You only watch the games because you get to sit through nine innings of me yelling at the TV just so you can hold my hand.

And for the record? I think it’s incredibly cute that you bought me a bag that reminds you of yourself. Are you trying to mark your territory, hyung?

u/cat_hyung_25 • [95 points]

I am a citizen of Ohio and I do not hold hands with strangers. If I wanted to mark my territory, I would simply bite you. The bag is just a standard utility item. It has pockets. You like pockets. Stop making it weird.

u/LotteGiants_#1 • [21k points] 

Oh, you'd bite me? Is that a promise for tonight? 

૮ • ﻌ - ა

u/cat_hyung_25 • [78 points] 

you have lost your goddamn mind kim seungmin. iwouldsonotliketobiteyou. like not at all… never.... definitely not….

u/LotteGiants_#1 • [24 points]

You must look so pretty blushing right now.

u/cat_hyung_25 • [78 points]

I'm not blushing. My apartment is just hot. And don't look at my face tonight or I'm keeping the keychains for myself.

u/LotteGiants_#1 • [1.8k points]

I'm going to look directly at your face, I'm going to hold your hand, and you're going to give me my bag. If you're lucky, I might even let you feed me a bite of dinner to make up for making you look so stupid online.

My cute cat hyung, I'll see you at 7. Wear the jacket I like.

 

 

[ r/relationship_advice ]

UPDATE: The "cat" keychain bag situation. Stop DMing me.

Submitted by u/cat_hyung_25

 

I am only posting this because my DMs are full of random internet strangers and my actual friends threatening to break into my apartment if I don't give a conclusion.

I went to dinner. I brought the bag.

When I sat down, he was already there, and he had this smug, stupid look on his face that made me want to turn around and walk right back out. I didn't say "Mong." I just shoved the bag into his chest so hard I almost knocked the wind out of him (sorry pup). Then I sat down and looked out the window.

He didn't even care. He just laughed. That loud, annoying puppy laugh of his, and he immediately took the cat keychains out to look at them. He kept holding them up next to my face to compare us, which was entirely unnecessary.

Anyway, he put his wallet and keys into the bag immediately. He’s holding it right now. We are back at his place, and he is currently asleep on my lap while we watch TV, still wearing the bag across his chest like a seatbelt. His hand is holding onto the cat keychains. It's ridiculous.

I guess it wasn't a stupid gift. He won't stop smiling. (And fine, his face is kind of cute when he smiles like that).

Don't reply to this. I'm deleting the app.

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💬 325 Comments: 

u/LotteGiants_#1 • [31 points]

You forgot to mention that you cried a little bit when I told you I loved it and I think of you every second of every day too.

u/cat_hyung_25 • [120 points]

It was allergies. The restaurant had a plant.

u/LotteGiants_#1 • [-28 points]

We ate at a barbecue place with zero plants, hyung. Also, stop typing, you're shaking your lap and waking me up. Use your other hand to brush my hair.

 

u/quokkatron • [15 points]

OH MY GOD MY EYES. THE FLUFF. IT BURNS. MY TWO BEST FRIENDS ARE IN LOVE 😭

 

u/gnab_nahc • [120 points]

See? I told you it was terminal, Minho! I’m glad it went well.

 

u/seo_changbin • [11 points]

"Use your other hand to brush my hair" please get a room (congrats though, cute). Should I also gift Hyunjinnie some dumbbells?

 

u/I_HIT_EMERALD_NOT_BRONZE_ANYMORE • [13 points]

AAAHHH THIS IS SO SWEET!! 😭💖 I knew he would love it, Minho hyung! Take lots of pictures together with the bag!! #2MIN_FOREVER

 

u/drama_lama • [980 points]

I’m literally weeping at my desk right now. I love love. 

 

u/fox_on_the_run • [850 points]

Wow... you guys are so cringey. Please don't act like this in the practice room tomorrow, I will actually leave.

 

u/cat_hyung_25 • [-7 points]

I will break into all of your houses and eat your wifi router. 

 

 

 

Notes:

This really is nothing. I just started typing this in my notes app and and thought might as well upload it.
I hope you enjoyed reading !!

 

My Twitter for more 2min ramblings!! (No Minors.)
My Mond if you want to talk Anonymously!!
Comments and kudos are infinitely appreciated, ok bye, luv you.
- Nyx 𖹭