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A part of existing that Angel had come to hate was that moment when he realized what his new ‘normal’ was. He wasn’t sure if this experience had a name, or if it even was a universal experience at all, but personally, he called them his ‘oh shit’ moments. That feeling of drifting through the days, some deep part of the sinner’s subconscious truly believing nothing happening around or to him was real, until Something would happen, and he’d be brought down to reality, hard, and all he could do was say Oh shit.
Every single one of these moments he had, he remembered, simply because of how terrible they all were. All they ever did was prove again and again how fucked he truly was, both in life and in death, and how nothing good would ever last for him.
The worst instance of this phenomenon had been after he left the Hazbin Hotel to go back to Valentino. Husk's desperate plea rang in his head as he rode the elevator up into Vee Tower, eyes blurred with fat tears, trying not to flinch as Val got into his space to ‘comfort’ him, and feeling utterly hopeless with the knowledge of how little choice he had in anything anymore.
Literal years had come and gone since then, part of it filled with heartache and longing and vices to cope, eventually being replaced with love and freedom and finally relying on friends, but in that moment, a time long passed now, it truly felt like that was It. That this was all his afterlife would be. That the Vee’s Tower was the only place he could ever call home.
Even now, it was hard to shake that feeling. Like soon enough, everything would go back to the way it was before, that Angel would blink and wake up back in Valentino's bed with a chain on his neck. That any second now, the elaborate prank that was being pulled on him would be revealed. There was plenty of evidence that proved that wasn't the case, but something in the spider's brain refused to just accept it as fact.
“Where are you going?”
Angel was pulled out of his thoughts at the voice calling out to him. He glanced over his shoulder, coming to a stop as he saw where Husk had called to him from, turning the rest of his body towards the metal bench that the cat demon was sitting on. He had his right arm laying over the back of it, making space for Angel to come and sit next to him, amber eyes shooting him a look that was as confused as he felt. The spider waved a hand in the direction he had been walking in, the lights of the Hazbin Hotel shining in the night sky like a beacon behind him,
“Headin' back home? Like we agreed upon?”
Husk nodded, but remained where he was, waving a hand to get Angel to move towards him,
“Yeah, but we ain’t walkin'.”
Angel blinked, his top set of arms crossing over his chest as his lower set propped his hands on his hips, raising a brow at his boyfriend,
“Whaddya mean ‘we ain’t walking’? How else are we ‘sposed to get home?”
One of Husk’s feathered brows raised in an exact mirror to his own, pointing with a clawed hand at a sign standing a foot away designating the area was a bus stop, which immediately had Angel rolling his eyes. Public transport had been decent when they were alive, but given they were in Hell now, it wasn’t nearly of the same caliber. How it even functioned at all was a marvel of its own.
“You know that shit is always delayed! It’s faster to just walk, if we start now we’ll probably be at the hotel by the time the bus comes rollin’ up here.”
Despite knowing what he said was true, Whiskers remained exactly where he was, going so far as to tilt his head back and close his eyes, feathered tail lazily flicking where it rested on the ground,
“Nah, I’m too tired to walk. I’d rather wait than take another step.”
Angel threw all of his arms out in overblown exasperation, a sinner walking past just barely dodging the motion, his scoff echoing in the street around them,
“Oh my god, we barely even hit up two bars, and they were across the street from each other, ya old geezer. You can handle some walking!”
It was a silly hill to die on, walking over taking a bus, but when Husk opened one glowing eye and gave him a teasing grin, Angel was completely all in on winning this petty dispute now.
“Maybe I could, if we hadn’t danced so much at the first place we went to.”
The spider sinner barked out a laugh, pointing at the other with one hand as he tapped a foot, the tapping more to keep him from moving towards the cat than out of true irritation, because if he did, Angel knew Husk would take that as him winning, and he refused to let that happen!
“Oooooh no no no, you suggested goin’ to our regular speakeasy first, and on a lindy hop night too!” The fucker had even dressed for it, forgoing his usual pants and suspenders for a pair of peg trousers and a colored dress shirt to match the short button up romper Angel had picked out, although most of the buttons were undone to show off the sparkly cropped tank top he was wearing underneath it.
Remembering his current state of dress, he moved his lower set of arms to cup his exposed chest, the cat’s head shooting up at the motion, a shit-eating grin stretching across Angel’s face at the attentive amber gaze, “Fine then, go ahead and be stubborn if you want! Sit on ya ass and wait all night for that bus, but just know, you’re missin’ out on your nightly ritual of snuggling all up on these tits.”
He made to turn away, but was stopped as Husk let out a sigh that turned into a low whine, the cat demon reaching out heart-covered palms to him as he gave a soft pout, feathered brows furrowed cutely, pupils within golden eyes widening just enough to pull off the 'cute kitten eyes' trick that always worked on Angel,
“Angeeeel, please come back.”
Angel smiled at his partner’s whine, ready to give a cheeky response back, but paused as a sense of deja vu came over him as he suddenly began to take in. . . everything. The things he was just now noticing were familiar, and yet were somehow different.
That familiar feeling of the chilly air on his exposed fur. The pleasant buzz moving through veins from the last drink he’d downed. The ache in his feet from being on them for hours in his favorite boots. The amount of times he had stood here like this was more than he could count on all six of his hands, but this time was different because of the man before him, the one that was his and how goddamn wonderful that made everything. From the way his name sounded when Husk whined at him, how that grumpy exterior he wore like armor easily melted away just for Angel. The fact that Husk was his boyfriend, that he loved him so much, and that together they had a home filled with even more love and friends and safety. How even when Angel acted silly or difficult like right now, Husk would match that energy all with a kind smile and loving gaze, or genuine concern while he asked in his handsome barito—
“Angel? What’s wrong?”
The sinner snapped out of his train of thought, finding Husk perked in his seat and giving him that same concerned look that he loved so much, and that’s when Angel realized that his eyes were wet. He reached a hand up to a damp cheek, a fresh tear rolling down over his fingers as he tried to make his voice work,
“Ha. . . oh. . . oh. Shit.”
Angel let out a dazed laugh, then another, and more. One giggle became a partial sob, then all he could do after that was cry. A sudden onslaught of tears and gasps that Angel couldn’t stop, the spider blindsided by all the emotions hitting him all at once. Confused to be feeling joy, warmth, and content in a situation like this, instead of frantic, cold, and numb like all the other times he had stood out on a street in the middle of the night.
Between swipes to clear away the tears, Angel realized that Husk was standing, and in a single stride he met the other halfway, biting back a whimper at how he didn’t hesitate anymore at reaching for comfort, allowing himself to be wrapped up in strong arms and soft wings and pressing his face down into his boyfriend’s shoulder, almost able to smell his usual musk of dark liquor and smoke despite how rapidly his nose was clogging up from the complete breakdown his body was going through.
He wrapped his own arms tight around the other, around shoulders and waist and hips, grasping at fur, hair, clothes, not even realizing his third set had come out until he felt feathers brushing over them as Husk’s wings covered him like a warm blanket, amazed at how quickly he felt safe with an arm around his waist and careful claws cupping the back of his neck, his heart struggling to match the other’s heartbeat as their chests pressed together, feeling how pleasantly Husk’s voice rumbled as he whispered in Angel’s ear,
“I got you, baby. Just take what you need.”
Angel tried to respond properly, but all that came out was a shuddering gasp as his fingers dug further into Husk, leaning his weight onto the other, reassured that he would be held up, another sob coming out at that realization. God, this was all confusing as fuck.
“Breathe, Anthony, breathe.”
He squeezed his eyes shut at his name being uttered so carefully and making a fresh batch of tears well up, focusing on matching his stilted breathing up with Husk’s calmer ones, and getting his shit under control as he remembered where he was and knew people were walking past and staring at the star, although he could feel Husk’s tail irregularly shifting around them, easily imagining his boyfriend sending death glares at the random peeping passerby.
Eventually, Angel’s breaths evened out, and he was finally able to open his eyes and not have his vision filled with tears. Although, he couldn’t bear to pull away just yet. He relished in the warm cocoon of the wings surrounding him, the comforting hand rubbing at his back, and his boyfriend’s low, comforting purr radiating out of his chest. He knew he could ask for this anytime we wanted, but, this one moment in time was special, and he almost didn’t want it to end, confusion over his body's nervous system setting itself on fire be damned.
“Everything okay now?”
Angel breathed in deep, finally able to take in Husk’s whiskey-amber scent, slowly exhaling as he squeezed his arms around the cat demon, lifting his head and finding worried but loving golden eyes staring at him as if he was his whole world. His heart skipped a beat at the sight, reaching a hand over to run a thumb over a red feathered brow, finally able to speak without his voice being seconds from breaking,
“Yeah. Thanks, baby.”
Gold eyes stayed on him as a large, clawed hand reached up to take a hold of Angel’s own, bringing it down so Husk could press his lips to the soft fur of his inner wrist, warm breath ghosting across it as he asked,
“Can I ask what made you start cryin’?”
The spider brought up his other hand to properly hold Husk’s face, thumbs brushing over the fur of his cheeks, smiling as the other leaned into the touch. It was borderline unfair how much of this he knew he had missed out on with Husk. The possibility of their paths crossing sooner than they had, the chance to have known what it was like to love and be loved by the man standing before him years earlier. Despite all the 'should could and woulds', Angel still felt like he lucked out to even be able to know Husk in his after-life at all. So much more could have happened for them to never meet, and every day he was grateful for them to even have the chance to be with each other like this.
“Just sunk in, I guess. . . finally realized that this is my life now.”
Husk nodded, but his eyebrows furrowed. Angel felt his hand take one of his secondary hands, fingers easily intertwining together as he asked, a hint of misplaced worry in his voice,
“Was it a good or bad realization?”
Angel couldn't stop the grin that broke across his face at the question, the answer to it coming easier than anything else had in his whole existence, except for how easy it was to lean in towards Husk, bumping against that cute heart-shaped nose of his, and lowering his voice so only he could hear,
“It’s the best fuckin’ one I’ve had yet.”
He was no stranger to kisses, but none of what Angel had experienced before could compare to every time he kissed Husk. The warmth in the press of his rough lips, the hint of whiskey he tasted on his breath, the rumble of his purr vibrating through his body. It made him believe for once that all of that cheesy, hopeless romantic shit was real; that he could feel butterflies dance in his stomach, see fireworks when he closed his eyes, and always found his foot popping up behind him without Angel even thinking about it.
Never, not once in his whole living and after life did Angel Dust, nor Anthony, think he would ever have a life like this. Yet here he was, walking hand in hand with his soulmate back to their hellpig son that was attached to Husk just as much as Angel, to friends that they considered family through and through, to the home they had somehow found under the bright marque lights of the Hazbin Hotel.
This was It. This was his life now.
Angel was home.