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Fluixon doesn’t know what to believe as he stares down at the “end-of-life” care packet in front of him, his parent’s and doctor’s words sliding like mud through his ears. He can feel Cynikka’s hand, warm and firm, against his shoulder, but like his parents he doesn’t understand a word she is saying to him right now. Her quiet tone only sounding jarred and frantic as she switched between rubbing her hand on his shoulder and carding her fingers through his dry hair.
“So. So that’s it?! Four months and I’ll– He’ll– We’ll never see our son again?! No. No. I refuse– I—” Crow’s speech is cut off, his voice giving out as gives a choked sob, Elanuelo quickly wrapping his arms around his husband as he tries his best to talk calmly to Flux’s doctor. Flux makes the poor decision to glance his eyes up, looking past his curls that have fallen over his face, and he feels even more hollow than he did before. Ender currently sits on one of the two resting chairs, holding his head low into his hands as his right leg shakes uncontrollably, muttering words that Flux can’t even fathom to comprehend. He moves his head up to Cynikka and she doesn’t look any better, she still has her hand in his hair but it isn’t moving and her other hand is squeezed shut under her head, eyes red and puffy from crying as she tries her best to listen intently to what the only medical profession in the room is saying. Someone has to of course.
“I truly am sorry but yes. We thought the disease would progressive slower with all the care but his most recent flare attack seemed to reverse and destroy any progress made in the past months. His immune system is weaker than ever before and, we suspect, that by four months he’ll—”
“Die.” He numbly interjects, collapsing his head back down when all eyes in the room go to him. He can’t see him but he can imagine his doctor glance at his clipboard like he always does during a tough moment, eyebrows wrinkling before smoothing over.
“Yes. I’m sorry.”
He begins talking again but Flux doesn’t want to hear any of it and leans his head away from Cynikka’s hand and to his dented pillow, closing his eyes as the sounds around him float away like driftwood.
He is so unbelievably tired.
Once Saparata, as well as his friends, had gotten the news that their limited time with Flux had shortened more than ever, they apparently made it their mission to gift him as many things as possible, all making a effort to either visit Flux in the hospice care as a group or in pairs. Even going solo if given the individual time. Wearing masks and sanitizing their hands as to not spread any possible colds or further illnesses to Flux, with his weakened immune system and all. It’s nice, truly nice, Flux doesn’t know what to do with all the gifts though, not sure what to think of all the balloons and cards stacked around a desolate chair across from him, and not sure what to do with all the stuffed animals decorated carefully around him. He doesn’t see the point in it, not fully anyways. He told Cynikka his concerns one time, why they were all gifting him things if he can’t even use them to their fullest extent. Cynikka had looked him in his eyes for a while. He doesn’t remember what she said after, but he does know that the gift giving slowly decreased after her visit.
Flux can feel himself get weaker, slipping like sand throughout each and every day. And while medicine helps, it only does to a certain extent. He can also feel his memory failing him, more so than usual. Brain fog clouding his mind like a persistent bug. It had gotten to a point where when the conspiracy and Saps had visited him on their collective off days, Rotation loudly recounting the story to Saps where he and Flux had gotten into a wild goose chase with literal goose after he had gotten too close to one of the babies, resulting in the mother chasing him with the last piece of bread still stuck in her mouth and Flux — apparently — having the entire thing stored in his phone. Rotation was laughing his ass off as Saps clutched his stomach, turning his head to Flux in disbelief and tears threatening to peek through his eyes.
“Did– Did that really happen Flux?!” He giggled before breaking into a full bark. Flux had chuckled, averting his gaze to the window across the room from him after saying: “Yeah. It did.”
He didn’t have the heart to tell anyone he didn’t remember.
Flux stirs from his sleep when he hears a door click shut, keys clinking on a table and items plopping onto it as well. Flux blinks, the last few bits of his drowsy nap escaping him, leaving him only sluggish.
“Oh shit– Sorry, did I wake you Flux?” Saps says, walking towards the big windows and adjusting them so natural light would flow through without being aggravating.
Flux hums, shaking his head as he slowly adjusts himself to a more comfortable position, even if the change is barely noticeable. “No. I was beginning to wake up anyways…”
“Ahhh…. I see. Oh wait! Hold on I brought you something.” Saps quick steps are muted on the wooden floor as he heads back to the dropped off items on the table, his hands rummaging through a plastic bag before he takes out a moderately big bouquet of sunflowers and daisies.
“Do you remember our first date Flux? The one with the picnic in the sunflower fields?” He says shuffling his way back to Flux, scooting a spare chair to sit directly across from him. Flux’s mouth goes straight as he tries looking back to his memories. It’s there — somewhere — it’s just– just–
“It’s okay if you– I’m sorry I should've—” Flux cuts him off.
“Don’t. I– It’s okay Saps I just– need a second.”
Saps goes silent for a second, only murmuring a “Okay.” before letting Flux to his own devices. After a while, Flux nods. “A little.. The… The one where it rained on us? Despite the clear forecast..?”
Saps chuckles and nods, placing the bouquet neatly next to Flux as a warm hand gently holds Flux’s, fingers running back and forth on his bony knuckles, making random shapes and patterns on fragile skin. “Yeah. That one.”
Flux doesn’t know why, but the action makes his mouth quiver and tears swell up in his eyes.
“I—” He swallows thickly. “‘M sorry Saps I’m– I’m so sorry–” Flux doesn’t doesn’t know why he’s apologizing. Why is he apologizing?
“I– I don’t know why I’m sorry it’s just– fuck.”
Saps’ small smile completely falls apart as he gently, oh so gently, cradles Flux in his arms despite shaking in quiet sobs himself.
“It’ll– It’ll be okay Flux.”
No it won’t.
“It’s okay, I’m here.”
But I won’t be.
“Oh God Flux….”
Flux heaves and shivers, muscles aching like hell despite the pain medication coursing through his veins.
“It’s just–” He looks down to the see the bouquet of sunflowers and squints his eyes shut as a petal prematurely falls off.
“Even if I don’t remember it properly, I want to see them again. Out in the fields. Just once, one more time.” Saps kisses his head softly, curls cushioning his lips as his voice shakes and breaks.
“Me too.”
Fluixon passes away several hours after Saparata’s visit to him, the last thing he sees are the sunflowers placed delicately in a purple vase that Saps had bought specifically for them before he left. Making a promise that would be broken far too soon.
“I’ll see you tomorrow yeah?” He had said and Flux answered back.
“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow Saps. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
The door shut was a deafening and frightening sound.