Work Text:
Dear Nico,
We haven't spoken for years. You'd be surprised, if I sent you this letter. So, I won't. I'm not that insane.
I just need to say you something, even if paper will be only one witness.
You know, people talk about Ferrari much. Right or wrong. Am I regret about team change? Sometimes. But Merces...Everything there remind me past.
I like Scuderia. Team is not that bad and Charles is nice teammate. But he's not you. No one will never be you.
And just so you fucking know.
I'm still mad. At you, at myself, at everything and everyone.
I still think you're too weak for racing in F1. You should have chosen a different sport. You should have stayed in karting. You weren't made for F1. But you were my best enemy rival.
It costed our relationship. But you were.
You always were stupid crazy bitch. Why the hell you made yourself starving for the sake of fucking speed in races? All this fight seem so useless and senseless years later. For me. But I know it's not for you. You literally were going crazy and I'm so sorry that understood it only now. How hard all that was for you. We both were hella blind to each other.
And... I still have question. I sometimes still think about it.
Why the fuck you kissed me in our 13? That was night with sky full of stars and you did that first step. Well...Probably it weren't you, but me. I finally start forgetting this. I don't want to forget. Your lips are so feminine soft and warm. Always were. Maybe if you were a girl everything will be easier. I still want to kiss you.
I hate how all turned out. I hate you. I love you. I regret you came into my life. I regret you left my life.
I don't blame you. I blame myself no one.
Forgive me. I love you.
I never want to talk with you again. I want your lips on mine.
Best wishes,
Lewis