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I Know I Shouldn’t Love You (But I Do)

Summary:

Tom stared for awhile, looking between Colt and his twin. Hm. He slumped back onto his couch, toying with the brim of his shirt. Then, he got an idea. An awfully evil idea. Ryder bolted back to the window his eyes dead set on Colts twin. Colt wasn’t bad looking, obviously, that applied to his twin aswell. And if Ryder wanted to get any sliver of attention, even from Colt, he could do the same thing everyone was doing to that nerdy man. Shamelessly flirt with him.

Tl;dr Ryder flirts with Grace as a joke. It turns out it’s not a joke anymore.

Notes:

Heyy.. yeah I got on the starstruck train SUE ME. Now, I dooo have my MHA series that I still need to work on.. buuttttt crackship got to me ok.. geyulp.

Anywho! Just fair warnings English is not my first language and I am not that confident with my PHM and TFG characterisations just yet. Feel free to comment!

Enjoy reading!

Chapter 1: The Game

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Boredom.

 

The feeling that the mighty Tom Ryder is feeling right now, is boredom. He is laid on a couch in his trailer. The fact he’s even in the trailer is astounding. Production today was already slow, an added bonus he did not anticipate for was a “special” guest. That being Colt Seavers twin.

 

In normal circumstances Ryder could care less, he could make a comment or two to get under Colts skin like usual and go on his merry way. This is different, Colts twin just so happened to catch the attention of almost all the crew members. They barely glanced at Ryder while they gushed about “Colt’s twin” and “Dr.something”, blah blah blah. Oh come on, look at the real star here! It’s safe to assume Ryder wasn’t happy about it.

 

He glanced out of the trailers window, not caring if he was subtle or not. His eyes dart around trying to find this elusive person everybody and their mothers were obsessed with. It wasn’t difficult, all Tom had to do was find Colt and he’d surely find the other half.

 

Jackpot! There he was, in the flesh. Identical to Colt, with a few key differences. He was more disheveled looking, his glasses hung off to the side where they shouldn’t be, a slight slouch in his posture. A fixer-upper in all honesty. The people did love an awkward beauty. Okay, beauty would be a little bit over the top but you get the point. What did they say his name was? Not that he cares. Why would he.

 

Tom stared for awhile, looking between Colt and his twin. Hm. He slumped back onto his couch, toying with the brim of his shirt. Then, he got an idea. An awfully evil idea. Ryder bolted back to the window his eyes dead set on Colts twin. Colt wasn’t bad looking, obviously, that applied to his twin aswell. And if Ryder wanted to get any sliver of attention even from Colt, he could do the same thing everyone was doing to that nerdy man. Shamelessly flirt with him. Genius! What an absolute genius you are, Tom! He thought to himself. It’s a wonder he even had a thought.

 

The actor strided towards the small bathroom the trailer provided, cleaning himself up to not look like he’d been sitting around and doing nothing the whole day. He gave himself a smirk before putting on sunglasses. Showtime.  Tom walked out of his trailer and towards a certain trio;Jody, Colt, and Colt’s twin. “Colt, pal, didn’t know you could clone yourself,” Ryder abruptly says, dimming down whatever conversation was happening between the three. “Well. Tom,“ Colt starts already looking annoyed, oh did Ryder love that look. “Me and Jody were talking with Ryland,“ there it is! “but sure. Butt in whenever you want!“ Colt’s tw- Ryland, was even more anxious face-to-face. What an easy read.. you know what, Tom’ll have fun with this. Besides it’s not like anything real would happen.

 

He shifted closer to Ryland, “I’m just happy to see my stuntman happy, yeah? Nice to meet you, Ryland, I’m Tom Ryder,“ his hand outstretched towards the man. Ryland (hesitantly) took his hand shaking it quickly, “Ah, n-nice to meet you.. uhm-“ the man stammers, yeesh, “Call me Tom, makes us more casual that way,” “Tom,” an awkward look was placed on his face. Oh Tom is sure going to have a ton of fun with this.

 

He can already see Colt fuming. Ryder gave a shit eating grin in return as he placed his hand on Rylands shoulder. “It’s nice of your brother to bring you here to set,” he says still looking at Colt with his grin. Ryland doesn’t seem to notice, “isn’t that enough, Tom?” Colt glared at him, Ryder didn’t let go of his grip, “What? Can’t I be friendly to my stuntmans twin?” he pulls Ryland a bit closer to him.

 

Ryder was sure Colt would’ve punched him if it weren’t for his twin being there, and Jody, for that matter. He kept his grin as he continued to talk, “anywho, I just wanted to get to know you better y’know? Since you’ll probably be visiting more,” “well- I don’t know if I can visit more but uhm, yeah! That.. that would be nice, visiting my brother.. and all. Who’s doing.. dangerous stunts all the time!“ so jumpy. Though Tom does think that because he and Ryland are quite close right now his awkwardness is spewing everywhere. “See you around then! Ryland,” he drawls his name before walking back to his trailer.

 

The eyes of Colt were basically burning at the back of his head he could feel it. Damn, that sure pissed him off enough, and he barely said.. anything! He loved it. And that Ryland is so easy to read. This’ll be a piece of cake. Just flirt for awhile, to rile Colt up. Maybe then he could do all the stunts in a take. Okay then, it’s a game.

 

Next time Tom saw Ryland was many months after their first interaction with eachother. That’s a given, apparently he worked as a middle school teacher. Their schedueles didn’t match much. Sad, he would have so much fun getting under Colts skin. Anywho, it’s summer break for the kids and that meant Ryland could come onto set. Then, Toms game will begin.

 

He made sure to stay in his (awful) trailer. As much as he despised being in that cramped space he had to be very close to where Ryland is. Anytime he had to go somewhere he made sure to passby Ryland, giving him a few greetings “hey”s and “hi”s. Oh, and lets not forget pissing Colt off for the fun of it in between.

 

One time, he’d caught Ryland by himself. Golden opportunity. The man was sitting in a chair near the prop department looking at all the “hazardous” stuff mainly used in stunts, “Hey Ryland!” Tom calls out, taking the empty seat next to him, “Hi Tom.. why aren’t you recording?” Ryder leans back in his chair, “just finished! “ a lie, he’d been done awhile ago. “And I just happened to see you sitting here so I thought why not come check how you’re doing,” a smile crept onto Rylands lips, “that’s nice of you,” “my pleasure. “

 

Ryland fidgets with his fingers, debating something. Surely. Tom felt like he could read his mind by how loud he was thinking. “You wanna say somethin’, pretty boy?” might aswell rile him up. It’s fun to watch. Rylands face reddens for a moment. “Nothing! Just a bit anxious for this next stunt coming up.” It wasn’t the most dangerous stunt by far but by how anxious Ryland was you’d think he was doing something never done before. “Trying to take my mind off of it by looking at the props! .. now that I say it out loud it doesn’t make sense.” Nothing out of that mouth had made sense to Ryder in the slightest if he was being honest.

 

“It’s nice that you care a lot for Colt, you’re a good brother,” Tom hums looking at where Colt is. He isn’t far, chatting up with Jody looking head over heels for her. “I try,” Ryland answers. Okay Tom, now, how do you progress this? This is way too much of a tender moment to just try and flirt your way into stuff. Why’d you have to say some sappy shit? Well the nerd is probably glad for the sappy shit, not Ryder though!

 

Finally, after however many moments of silence Tom decides to ask for Rylands number. In a casual way. And also because that’s the best idea he’s got. “Hey, Ryland. You mind if I get your number?” Ryland blinks at Toms question. “Sure? But why? You don’t need it-“ Ryder cuts him off, “you aren’t always on set. Besides, I want to be friends with you. It’ll be easier to contact eachother! Yeah?” The man sat up straight at the word friend. Didn’t have much friends did he. Tom was surely going to brighten up his social life for awhile.

 

He watched as Ryland pulled out a piece of paper from nowhere (seriously where’d he even get that?) and wrote down his number. “Here you go!” he beams, sure seems more excited than what Ryder expected. “Thank you,” he does his best smile at Ryland who gave a smile back. Soon, he heard footsteps, Tom knows who’s coming. “Well I’ll get going, or else Colt’s gonna blow up in my face,” he jokes which manages to get a chuckle out of Ryland who only gives him a wave as he walks off.

 

While walking back to his trailer Colt caught up to him, “you better stay away from my brother,” he hissed at Tom, “what? I’m not doing anything,“ he raised his hands that smug looking grin never leaving his face. “You know exactly what you’re doing! And I’m not letting you push this any further. I know you’re just doing this to piss me off but don’t drag my brother into it. Got it?” “Sure. Totally.” With that he storms off like an angry child. Funny.

 

Should Ryder heed that warning? Yes. Does he care? Certaintly not. He and Ryland have been getting along well! As well as it can be with a socially awkward person but Tom knows the type enough to know he’s making good progress. Now, all he has to do is.. contact the guy. Y’know usually he’s the one being contacted and not the other way around but it’ll make do. He pulls his phone out and puts in the contact number he’d gotten from Ryland himself.

 

Tom : Hey Ry, can I call you that? Just saying hi to ya and letting yk this is my numb

 

That’s the message he sent. It could be better but this was some middle school teacher, he wouldn’t care if a celebrity texted him with less professionalism expected of them. He set his phone down. And waited.

 

> 1 notification from Ryland

 

Was this guy that desperate? Or did he just happen to see the message? Ryder let those thoughts drift away as he picked up his phone again.

 

Ryland : Hi! You can call me that if you want to. Thank you for letting me know. I’ll be sure to save your number.

 

He types like a teacher. Well, he is one.

 

Tom : Thx, ttyl

Ry : Talk to you later, aswell.

 

Atleast he knows his acronyms.

 

For the next few months Ryder carefully builds their relationship. He’s learning more things about Ryland than he’d like to admit. But it’s a given if all Ryland does is talk. It’s hard not to know things about him. For one, he really likes foxes to the point where Tom had saved his contact as “Ry 🦊”. Second, he loved his kids. A lot. Ryder was more invested in the kids gossips than the kids themselves. Thir- okay he needs to stop listing things. See? Now he’s gotten some rambling habit thanks to this nerd. Whether that’s a good thing or bad thing is up to whoever talks to Tom.

 

He decides it’s long enough and wants to initiate phase 2. Hanging out. They’ve been texting back and forth enough to be on casual basis with one another. Surely it isn’t that hard to ask someone to hangout, he’s done it a million times.

 

The phone screen was lit, yet it took Ryder sometime as he stared at it for awhile. What’s with his hesitance? He wasn’t scared or nervous. God get a grip Ryder. You’re the Tom Ryder, you shouldn’t worry about these things. Eventually he finally typed a message out to Ryland.

 

Tom : Ryyy

Ry 🦊 : Yes, Tom?

Tom : We shld hangout sumtime !!

Ry 🦊 : It’s “sometime”, and I’d love to hangout. When do you plan to?

 

Nerd, it’s just a way of saying it! Who is Tom kidding this is a middle school teacher.

 

Tom : Mayb this Sunday? Ur schoolkids don’t have anything to do right?

Ry 🦊 : No, they don’t have anything to do. So, I’ll take up on your offer. Though, don’t you have work? And how would you get to San Fransisco?

Tom : We r shooting in San Fransisco this week thought i’d come by n visit u

 

Wasn’t a lie. They were shooting in San Fransisco afterall. Tom’s sure Colt would also want to visit Ryland so better make this decision quick.

 

Ry 🦊 : I see! Okay, around what time do you say we hangout?

Tom : likee 1? 1.30? Oh n I wanna go somewhere 2 eat first

Ry 🦊 : I know a spot. I’ll send you the location.

Tom : Thx Ry cyaa

 

The place Ryland sent wasn’t up to Toms taste. He’s used to luxury restaurants and seeing something as mundane as this would make him laugh. But it’s Ryland. Guy’s a doofus and probably enjoys the food there, it does make Ryder curious as to what Ryland would order for himself. He has a few days until Sunday. Still had time to kill. Well, for one, he had his job to do. That’ll keep him busy enough.

 

Filming was a blur, he didn’t remember much of it. Ryder didn’t even piss Colt off. He’s too busy thinking about Sunday. If he wants to make this believeable he needs to put an effort. What would he wear? A suit? No, that’ll be too fancy, he’s seen the place. If he wears something too extra he’ll stick out like a sore thumb. Why was being normal so difficult. He wishes he could just be Tom Ryder but then it wouldn’t be between him and Ryland would it.

 

Sundays arrival was nervewracking. He even showed up half an hour earlier. What’s gotten into him. Y’know what, he’s just making a good impression. Yeah, that’s it. So it looks real. When Ryland arrived Tom swore he could see that mans face light up.

 

“Did you wait long?” asks Ryland, Tom shook his head, “nope, not at all pretty boy.” Ryder smirks as Ryland made some flustered comment on the nickname. Works like a charm. The inside’s what people would call a “cozy” place. The smell of coffee was prominent. They took a seat. “Usually I come here in the mornings getting the breakfast meal. Let’s see what they have..” Ryland props the menu up to look at it. Tom glanced at the menu infront of him, he figures he’ll get a sandwich or something.

 

Their orders were sent now they were met with silence. Ryder enjoyed it, seeing Ryland squirm and all thinking up a way to make the silence go away. It’s a little cute. “So, how has San Fransisco been for you?” Small talk it is, “good. People here are nice,” Tom pauses, “you’re the nicest, though.” Ryland gave a sheepish smile, “come on.. no need to flatter me like that,” “why not? It’s not flattery if it’s true!” Ryland was about to protest but kept his mouth shut, guess he had no witty quip.

 

Odd. Ryder remembers once how he adamantly refused a compliment until he got too tired to continue texting. Maybe he’s just getting better at this. “How about Colt? How’s he been? Has he been nice to you? I know you two aren’t exactly the greatest of buds,” he hums, Colt. He hadn’t really thought about the guy in a bit. Tom guesses? He didn’t remember any interaction between the two that stuck with him. “He’s doing fine, Ry. And yeah he’s been nicer to me,” Ryland breathes a sigh of relief. “Good. I don’t want my brother having bad blood with someone I now consider my friend” “Don’t worry your smart head off for me Ry. It was long due anyway. Our little childish fights.” What was he saying? He still wanted to annoy Colt that’s the whole reason why he’s even doing this. “Childish is right.” He huffs a smile on his face. “Hearing from my brother that you were some sort of A-hole, I’ll be honest, I was a little hesitant interacting with you at first. Luckily you aren’t as much of a bad person as Colt thought you were. I’m glad.“

 

Huh.

 

Tom felt .. happy. About that. Happy? Why was he happy? This was supposed to be just a little game he played to get under his stuntmans skin. He’s happy because.. it’s going well! Yes. He’s happy because it’s going well and according to his plan.

 

Their food arrives, Ryder couldn’t be any happier to get his mind off of whatever side tangent it conjured up with. Ryland was talking about his week, his kids being amazing as ever. “They’re lucky to have a teacher like you, ‘m sure I would’ve loved you as my science teacher.” Wasn’t a lie, Rylands science rambling did make sense to Tom. Which is crazy considering how .. ahem, dense he can be when it comes to academics. “I’m lucky to have them as my students, they’re so full of questions and passion. I really want them to succeed in life.” Ryland did love his kids so much. A twinge of something plauged Toms heart. He brushed it off.

 

The rest of their hangout went well, the food was suprisingly really good. Ryder did have to be spoonfed a little since he wanted to test Rylands food. Not like anyone knew he was there besides Ryland so it’s fine. Most important of all he and Rylands relationship has definitely improved. Ryland wouldn’t stop looking at him with those blue eyes of his talking about science-y stuff. Amazing progress Ryder. Just gotta.. figure out when to call it quits. It’s been months. 3-5? It’s not now. That’s for sure. A little longer. Honestly, Ryder has also caught himself just staring at Ryland when he talks. He doesn’t know what’s with that and he won’t find out. It’s nothing serious he bets.

 

Walking out of the diner it had become late, did they spend that much time in there? Yikes. The chilly air blew in his face. Tom looked over to Ryland, “I could walk you home, you mentioned this wasn’t too far from your apartment?” “Tom you don’t have to-“ he gave him a look. Ryland thought for a moment then nodded. That meant he was good to go. Ryland took his steps first, Tom following short after.

 

Making it to Rylands apartment only took about 12-ish minutes. It really wasn’t that far, must be nice having breakfast that close to your home if you don’t cook. The stairs were hell but Tom managed, he had an image to retain. Though, he knows Ryland definitely finds it funny how hard he tries to not look exhausted from a few flights of stairs. “Well this is my stop, see you soon..?” His voice goes up an octave like a question, Tom smirks. “See you soon, pretty boy.” Ryder leaned over to take Rylands hand and kissed it his smirk never leaving. Ryland turned really red, his hand staying in that position for what seemed like forever. Regaining back his composure Ryland quickly thanked Tom for walking him back here and searched for his keys in his pocket. A “fudge” coming out of the teachers lips as he fiddled with the key to his apartment.

 

Click.

 

As soon as the door shut, Ryder, too, became red. Something is really wrong with him. He actually.. did that? He didn’t have to. It looked convincing, so it works. Still, he didn’t know why he even did that in the first place. Tom quickly shuffled down the steps faster than he got up. He needs to reconsider this whole thing. His heart was beating against his chest so hard.

 

On the car ride back to wherever he was staying Ryder simply couldn’t get that interaction out of his head. The moment he got back to his condo or whatever he slumped down onto the couch. He’d never felt this way. This is odd. Really odd. Is that bad? Obviously it’s bad! He never felt this way about Iggy! His supposed girlfriend! He and she never acted like this, they just went straight to- okay that’s enough Ryder.

 

He ran his hand through his hair, no way he actually feels this way towards nerdy, anxious Ry. No way. That seems impossible. But if it were impossible he wouldn’t have kissed that damn hand. He wouldn’t have asked to hangout. He wouldn’t have made this little game go this far. Ryder shook his head. He doesn’t believe there’s a chance that he actually starts to care for Ry. Seriously? Now he’s calling Ryland “Ry” in his head? Just what he needed in this crisis.

 

Realistically, who could he call for this situation. He had a few contacts that he could possibly call for an issue like this. Gail, bless that woman for his career but she would not like this one bit. A few of his PR team, that’s just stupid. Iggy, she wouldn’t care. They’ve been on and off since their “relationship” started. Maybe she’d even laugh at him by how lovestruck he seems. What? He’s not lovestruck! Get that thought out of your head Tom Ryder. .. Colt. Yeah, admitting to the brother himself that you (might) actually like his brother is such a smart move. Ryder wants to live so he’ll cross that out aswell. Yeah. Turns out. He had nobody to talk this to about but himself.

 

A groan came out of his throat as he slouched further on the couch. The last person he has on his contacts list is the man in question that’s plauging his mind with mushy thoughts. He can’t believe this. To hell he’ll believe something like this. Tom debates if he should write up a sticky note about this. He should. “Get Ry off your mind” is a good prompt. Then again if someone were to break in that wouldn’t do good for his reputation as Tom Ryder.

 

Night fell upon the city, it’d been hours since he was supposed to sleep. He was in bed. Staring at the ceiling above him. If he let his mind wonder too far Ry would pop up making him unable to sleep and he’d have to start over to try and sleep. Tom sat up after what felt like the millionth time this happened. Okay, it was actually starting to affect him a lot now. This was serious.

 

He liked Ryland. He liked the brother of Colt Seavers, his stuntmant, who has a huge distaste towards him. Great going Ryder. Your fake flirting is going to turn into real flirting!

 

 

Wait.

 

Did they basically just go on a date today? They went out. Ate food. Talked to eachother a lot. Tom walked him home.

 

Oh my god

Oh my god.

 

They went on a date. Fuck!

 

Now he has two things wandering his mind. The fact that he likes Ryland Grace and that he practically went on a date with him. Is that why he was so nervous?

 

If he likes Ry so much should he actually try? It feels a bit weird. Yet the thought of Ry couldn’t leave his head. Not tonight. Not ever it seems like. Then he’s doing this. This isn’t a game anymore. Not a game of pissing Colt off. A new game, a game of winning Ry over. Genius Tom!

 

First step is to get Ry to like him which is done. Who doesn’t like him? Colt. .. and there goes his hopes. So. He needs to convince THE Colt Seavers that he is good enough to date his brother. Well Tom looks like you’re going to have to put your acting skills to the test here. Considering their shared animosity towards eachother this was a great start for himself. You’ve outdone yourself really Tom.

 

Okay, game plan. Get close to Ry as possible and try to get on Colt’s good side in the meantime. Seems impossible but worth a shot.  If it fails he’ll just have to hide the relationship as best as he can from Colt. So far it’s been hidden enough. Surely the man doesn’t know that his brother and he are good friends. If that were the case he’d be angrier during filming. He was just about the same. Ryder thinks anyway. Again, he doesn’t remember since he was too busy for the plans today.

 

Now that that’s all settled he can go to bed, despite his shocking discovery. He’ll figure it out.. tomorrow. Yeah these feelings aren’t going to be that strong anyway they won’t get in the way of filming whatsoever! That’s a silly thought.

 

Yeah.

 

The next day, Colt decided to bring his suprise guest back on set. Ryder couldn’t bare with it. Not because he didn’t get attention anymore, but because people were giving attention to Ry. He shouldn’t care this much. He knows this would happen. It’s the reason why he and Ry even have a friendship in the first place! With these newfound feelings it makes everything difficult.

 

Rys’ gaze meets Ryders. His face lighting up as he walked over. Colt who was behind him looked confused as his brother willingly went up to Tom Ryder.

 

“H-hi Tom!”he greets, stammering. Ryder looks at what he’s wearing. It’s a “Cats” shirt. Hm. Yesterday he was also wearing a “Cats” shirt. “Tom?” “Oh, yeah. Hey, Ry.” He snaps his focus up to Ry instead of the shirt he was wearing. “You got home safe?” “Come on Ry, who do you take me for a drunkard?” “Maybe, maybe not.” “You haven’t even seen me drunk.” “You act drunk,” Ry chuckles, he’s enjoying this banter. Hell, Tom is enjoying it aswell.

 

Though, he feels like something or someone is staring at him.

 

Colt.

 

He’s a dead man walking, isn’t he?

Notes:

Honestly, I have no clue where I’m going to go with this but the edits and scenarios are going to keep me going.

At first I didn’t think this ship would affect me much yet here I am with a fic

Don’t I love characters in denial of their feelings.