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funnily enough, sangwon was filming for another episode today.
anxin was having a fairly normal evening, he really was. they'd wrapped up another full day of practice, received new schedules they had to monitor on their calendar and since junseo and sangwon had to go to the studio, the others were sent home with dinner for an early night in.
he was in his room, hovering behind xinlong as the older gamed fiercely, making all sorts of noise that anxin prays their fans never have to hear when sanghyeon peeks his head through the door with an excited flair.
xinlong waves a hand at him and turns back to the screen, and anxin raises his brows in surprise, "back so fast? you want to game after all then?"
sanghyeon rolls his eyes, "i didn't even leave, i was in the hall watching tv." anxin doesn't respond, because there's always a glint in sanghyeon's eyes when he wants to say something crazy and it's there now. xinlong picks up on it too because he finishes off the round with another clean strike before rolling around in his chair, "so."
anxin never likes it when sanghyeon gets like this. he genuinely doesn't. it always has something to do with anxin, or sangwon, or both of them. sanghyeon being the one most online on the domestic side meant he just knew everything, "just spit it out."
"so, you know how your boyfriend - " anxin gives him a look, " - and our dearest hyung films for this one show every two weeks, right?"
xinlong is more impatient than he lets on so he, "and an episode came out today with the kickflip sunbaenims, yes. don't stall, what is it?"
sanghyeon grins, all teeth, "so!" he extends an arm outside the room, "today's episode - i was watching it, obviously - is very interesting. i thought you two - " he coughs pointedly, glancing at anxin, "would like to watch it with me too!"
anxin and xinlong share a look, and follow after sanghyeon to the hall, where the maknae takes the remote to play it back.
anxin holds a pillow to his lap, watching quietly.
sanghyeon - the fucking bastard - watches anxin instead.
anxin understands why pretty quickly, fingers tight around the cushion and digging in.
there's a pretty guy in the group, very pretty, truthfully. and said guy was madly flirting with anxin's boyfriend.
very straightforwardly flirting with anxin's boyfriend.
it was a little too much.
anxin takes a deep breath when sangwon holds out his hand for the guy - kyehoon, he hates that he catches onto his name so quick - to compare to. which would be fine, it really would've been, genuinely.
- if that wasn't the same tactic sangwon pulled with anxin when they were just getting to know each other, at the Planet Camp. sangwon still did it during fansigns and fanmeetings sometimes, saying afterwards that it's the most basic method of flirting and that it was thrilling to do it when no one was privy to their relationship (although anxin was pretty sure that wasn't the case and many knew of their relationship).
anxin shakes himself out of his thoughts running back to their moments, and flicks away all the times sangwon and him placed their hands and then interlocked them together, because that was literally what was happening on the screen now.
there was something almost sensual about the way kyehoon links his fingers with sangwon. it calms him a little when he notices sangwon pulling away first.
it doesn't really... set aside the fact that sangwon was the one who held his hand out though. with a very intentional, "your hands are really big?" that echoes in anxin's head.
anxin stares down at sanghyeon, who was leaning against the table to watch xinlong - who was doing a very terrible job at trying to act normal - and himself. "is that it?"
sanghyeon snorts, pushing his hair back, "i wish! they kept going, i think i understand why junseo hyung came that day and kept shaking his head at sangwon hyung incredulously."
there was... more?
anxin can't believe it.
how could there be more? wasn't the hand movement enough?
they watch on without pausing for a couple minutes and anxin swears his eye twitches a little.
there was a lot more.
kyehoon was a daring, charming little guy and sangwon was everything, and a total encourager. he kept laughing at whatever kyehoon was saying (honestly nothing funny to laugh so much about), and kyehoon kept touching sangwon - and anxin tilts his head at each of it cause sangwon doesn't like it when just anyone touches him but anxin couldn't see that familiar flick of uncomfortable twitch he usually sees in sangwon's face - and every other thing the other man was saying was a confession to sangwon.
how did they even air this? if anxin blatantly dared to flirt like this, they would've cut the whole thing.
yes, it's partly to do with his own company but it's... disgruntling.
a bit unfair.
kyehoon verbally expressed he likes sangwon and wanted to go out with him atleast twice, then proceeded to ask about their future, then said he would wait three years for sangwon.
all of which was genuinely too much. he agrees with the other members of kyehoon's group. was this a karaoke show or a dating show?
he could feel xinlong's gaze dig into his temples from where the older sat next to him, one hand placed on anxin's shoulder to placate him. xinlong - if no one else - knows the full extension of anxin's possessiveness.
anxin's less bothered about the members being all over sangwon - after a lot of assurance from said members - but outsider... outsiders not so much.
sanghyeon, who probably didn't watch up until the end, was too shocked at the card segment to even tease anxin. he was slowly turning to anxin with his hands raised, "you know, this is kinda scripted, like - "
anxin cuts him off, raising the volume of the tv so he could finish the episode, "no, it isn't."
"yes, yes, it is, you know how these shows do it!" anxin sees sanghyeon send a frantic glance at xinlong, rising on his knees to press on anxin's knees. "long-ge, tell him."
"sangwon hyung told us the only scripted bits are the questions and songs, everything else is entirely improvised by the guests and them." anxin reminds them gently, although he felt anything but.
"don't go being all moody, hyung, listen, basically." sanghyeon clears his throat, grabbing for the remote to switch it off, "it's sangwon hyung's job, right? and like - "
anxin fishes out his phone, typing with a straight face, flanked by both xinlong and sanghyeon as they peer into what he was searching up, nosy.
a leader, rapper. and younger, 2005.
sanghyeon blinks up at anxin, then takes his phone and throws it back on the couch, "that doesn't mean anything."
"sangwon hyung loves to attract all these younger men even though they aren't his type." xinlong says, his words more blunt than usual because he translated whatever he was thinking off to express it in Korean.
sanghyeon rounds xinlong, inhaling sharply, "are you serious?"
xinlong looks from sanghyeon, who was very visibly exasperated - god knows why, anxin wasn't that bad when he was a bit jealous (lie) - and anxin himself, who was raising his brows at him. his voice is a bit flustered when he tries to remedy the situation, "you know what i meant?"
sanghyeon intervenes before anxin has a chance to, "no, we don't. please don't say anything incriminating right now, ge, thanks."
anxin spares a moment to be very amused by how sanghyeon was acting, "aren't you the one who was so happy to show me and long-ge all this, why are you panicking?"
sanghyeon deflects, making broad gestures, "it's still funny, but it wouldn't be so funny if you two fought again, and i hate to see you two fight because it makes coming here after work feel like a fucking task, so i'm trying my hand at preventing it."
anxin pushes sanghyeon's hand away from his knee, "we've never fought about this."
it's sanghyeon turn to give him a look, "correct me if i'm wrong, which i'm not, did you two not argue about heeseung sunbaenim just weeks ago?"
"it wasn't an argument, you fu - " anxin holds himself in check, cursing means getting annoyed, and getting annoyed means when sangwon comes back, it could become an argument, and he doesn't want to prove sanghyeon right. he doesn't want to ever fight with sangwon, especially not over something like this, it's stupid. "it was a reasonable conversation between two adults who are dating."
sanghyeon makes a face at the word adult but doesn't nitpick on it, "yes, well, i remember the awkward atmosphere after that very reasonable conversation you two had. it lasted for a whole day."
anxin doesn't have the energy for this, "why are you being dramatic, you make it sound like we actively fought." he straightens, not willing to let it go, "we've never fought, at the very best, we disagree. it is reasonable," he emphasises pointedly, "to be a bit upset when your boyfriend spends three hours on call with someone else."
xinlong clears his throat, and the younger two turns to him, "aren't you on calls with lin longer than that some days?"
anxin blanches at the insinuation, "either way. we talked about it and resolved it and we can blame leo hyung for making me think heeseung-ssi and sangwon hyung actually dated before," sanghyeon and xinlong frown at the information they receive, "and obviously if we had a bit of a disagreement, it would be a little awkward. it wasn't a full day, it was barely 8 hours."
"yes, cause you two are fucking insane about each other." sanghyeon says, making a face at a very specific reminder. "how about you two try to not touch each other for a day."
"honestly, don't." anxin snips, leaning back on the couch, folding his arms over his chest.
"okay, fine. so you two won't fight and cause up a storm but you are... sad." sanghyeon doesn't flinch away when anxin glares at him, "and angry."
"is it because kyehoon-ssi is younger than sangwon hyung? you always get like this when someone younger than hyung likes him." sanghyeon asks, suddenly very annoying again.
xinlong has never pissed him off so much because he nods thoughtfully, and anxin wonders if he was being purposefully provoking, "i think so."
"shut up." anxin remarks, closing his eyes, thinking back to the episode.
sangwon's ears were a bit red when kyehoon kept going. he was almost a little shy before he shook himself out of it too, what the hell does that mean.
"i swear i'm not being unreasonable, why would kyehoon-ssi flirt with someone else's boyfriend like that, even as a joke." anxin asks, not really expecting them to reply.
xinlong mutters something in their home language, and then, "i don't think everyone knows you two are dating, xin-ah."
anxin opens an eye, "are you saying it's sangwon hyung's fault."
anxin's face must be set expressionlessly the way it does when he's a bit annoyed because xinlong shakes his head and raises his hands in surrender, "i said no such thing."
sanghyeon breaks in, "in sangwon hyung's defense, he definitely did try to pull back once he realized kyehoon-ssi was a bit serious about the whole thing and - " he gives them both a knowing look, " - the guy was very serious about it."
xinlong nods along vigorously.
it's not that anxin doubts sangwon's devotion and loyalty anyway, they didn't have to defend him (anxin was taking offense to everything). it just strangely puts him off everytime someone makes an advance towards sangwon, and it's a little inevitable because it wasn't an unknown secret that lee sangwon, previously a bighit trainee, later a viral blogger and now an idol, swung the other way.
isn't it just common sense to assume that if everyone knew sangwon was gay, then he would have a boyfriend already?
how could anyone even believe someone like him would even be single?
anyway, the point is, it really just puts him off. sangwon obviously wouldn't swat hands away and avoid it when someone flirts with him to prevent how awkward it could get if he does that, so it's just a cycle.
anxin had a couple of people asking him if he wanted to pair up for a ONS too (which apparently was a common thing in the industry), but sangwon is always around when it happens so sangwon coyly approaches the same time anyone asks anxin out, and wraps an arm around anxin's shoulder, tugging in a way anxin automatically curls his around sangwon's waist, effectively intimidating whoever approached away with a very ingenuine stunning smile.
they were both more or less possessive about the same, it's just that anxin has always been a bit intense since he was young and having sangwon for himself was something he was undeniably obsessed with.
if sangwon always worked on the motto 'what's his is always his', then for anxin, he didn't like others touching what was his.
he was huge on physical affection. after the months he's spent with these members, he touched all of them all the time as a stress relief. sangwon wasn't so big on physical touch if he can help it, usually avoiding it from even the other members sometimes, but always actively seeking it from anxin.
maybe that's why anxin really didn't like seeing others touching sangwon, especially with intent.
which was, unfortunately for everyone involved, what kyehoon did in today's episode.
"you know, sangwon hyung also said kyehoon-ssi would find someone better later on, so." sanghyeon begins, trailing off.
"xiao-zhu." anxin rolls his eyes. sanghyeon was obviously overthinking this more than anxin was, "i'm not even that annoyed."
"you're a little annoyed."
"and a little bit angry." xinlong.
anxin should never hang out with these two ever again. "not at sangwon."
"of course not."
"we didn't even think it."
anxin smacks a pillow to sanghyeon's face, "just go sleep."
sanghyeon blows at the hair that sticks to his lips, fixing his hair out of the way. he hugs that pillow to his chest, "i can't possibly sleep knowing my hyungs aren't back yet. besides, you haven't let us have dinner yet."
anxin sends him a searing glance, smiling a little when sanghyeon backs away. anxin was glad his face was his face, it came in handy all the time. "i'm pretty sure i told you to eat if you wanted to." he points a finger, "don't go saying this to our staff tomorrow, they already think i'm holding back your food from you."
"as if." sanghyeon leans forward on his arms on the cushion, passing xinlong the remote when the older gestures for it. "and i hate eating alone, you know i hate eating alone. let's all just eat together."
xinlong shrugs, "we have an unspoken pact up here to always eat dinner together, so we do technically have to wait for junseo hyung and sangwon hyung." he points his thumb at anxin, "it isn't just because lover boy here wants to eat with his boyfriend."
"fuck you." anxin says pleasantly.
xinlong keeps on another game on the tv so they could watch while sanghyeon glances up at the time and goes off to the kitchen to heat up their dinner and set up the table, anxin lounges where he sat sideways on the cushions, elbows on the back of the couch and knuckles under his chin, deep in his thoughts.
junseo and sangwon files in after just another 10 minutes, shuffling at the corridor and murmuring about something under their voices. junseo passes by first, ruffling xinlong's hair with a tired expression, and sangwon follows up, expression brightening when he sees anxin right there, and he slumps down on the cushions, leaning his entire body against anxin with an exhausted sound instead of making towards his bedroom immediately.
junseo gives him a pitying glance, "you did well, sangwon-ah." he cracks his neck sideways, smiling at anxin with a knowing look, "i'll go change and we can have dinner right away."
anxin glances down at sangwon, who was looking up at anxin where his head laid against anxin's shoulder. "tired?"
sangwon smiles at him, poking a finger into his cheek, "very." he lets his finger linger, then cups anxin's cheek with the same hand, "didn't sleep after coming home? you look a bit worked up."
really? anxin hadn't noticed.
xinlong is horrible, not only was he openly listening in, but he was also doing a terrible job at thirdwheeling. the bastard doesn't even try to stop his laughter, only belatedly hiding it behind a hand.
anxin hums, leaning down to kiss the corner of sangwon's lips, "who was the guest today?"
sangwon frowns at anxin's face, and by the flicker of various expressions that clicks past sangwon's face, anxin knows his boyfriend has figured out anxin wasn't in the best of his moods. he replies after a beat, "boynextdoor sunbaenims."
"we watched today's episode together!" sanghyeon yells from the kitchen where he still was setting everything up, cause of course he was eavesdropping too.
sangwon's arm comes up from behind to snake around anxin's shoulder, holding.
he didn't catch on yet, anxin's mind supplies helpfully. probably forgot.
it's nice. it helps to know the encounter didn't weigh too heavily on sangwon's mind that he remembered it quickly.
"it was the one with the kickflip members." xinlong adds, voice dragging and muffled behind his hand, "with kyehoon-ssi and all."
sangwon's arm stiffens, and anxin adjusts his position so he could see sangwon's face clearly.
sangwon pulls anxin's face down to meet his eyes, not wasting time, "he did ask me out after we wrapped up filming and i did tell him i had a boyfriend." he explains without delay, face set seriously, his lower lip slightly juts out.
"you did?" anxin asks, a little surprised, hand finding sangwon's waist where the older was lifting himself on the couch to scoot closer to anxin.
"yes," he winces a little as he continues, "we did think he was joking - me and jun-ge - and kyehoonie said the same too, but asked me after filming if i really wanted to have dinner sometime later." anxin's mind blanks, "and i apologized because i really did think it was a joke, sorry, but i have a boyfriend, and he just laughed and said he was impressed and asked if he knew who it was and i was like, probably? and that was it."
anxin bites down on his tongue, "kyehoonie?"
sangwon accidentally breaks into a smile, and then clears his throat to give anxin a look, "zhou anxin, really."
"you're familiar with him now?"
"we didn't even exchange our contacts."
anxin takes sangwon hand where it was on his own shoulder, "did he, perhaps, ask you if he could call you hyung too?"
"yep," anxin looks up to see junseo leaning back with an amused smile against the wall next to his room, clothes unchanged, seamlessly joining the conversation. apparently the whole dorm (and sanghyeon) was in their relationship too, anxin thinks dryly. junseo carries on, "he did and sangwonie took a minute but he did say 'of course you can'."
sangwon whips around, voice a little betrayed, "hyung."
"i kicked your leg three times the whole time we were filming to warn you against it." junseo returns, still smiling. because junseo was scary like that. "give him hell, anxin-ah. maybe next time he'd let others flirt with him less, and i wouldn't have to be stuck sitting there watching it happen."
sangwon buries his face into anxin's neck, hooking a leg over anxin's thighs with force, "you know i only love you anyway," he says casually.
anxin smiles. he's really very easy. he knows sangwon loved him but he likes hearing it with conviction and as if it was just a worldly fact, especially from sangwon when anxin felt a bit misplaced. "you know i used that with you when we first met, right?"
"which one?" sangwon asks, his voice dampened.
ah?
which one?
anxin curls his fingers into sangwon's hair and pulls him upwards, only slightly applying pressure. he smiles at sangwon, very unimpressed, "you're pushing it."
sangwon leans into press a sloppy kiss to anxin's lips, "sorry, but really - which one? the whole time i was filming the episode, i kept thinking, 'this guy is doing everything i did with anxinie, and anxinie did with me', the whole time."
anxin sneaks a hand down to take sangwon's in his, locking their fingers together and clenching. he keeps his voice light, his grip tightening, "please don't compare him with me." it really was a bit insulting.
"what you could've taken out of what hyung said was 'oh, sangwonie hyung was thinking about me the whole time' instead of that." sanghyeon's voice sing-songs from the dining hall. "which is what i'd be thinking if hyung said that to me."
anxin forgets about everything for a moment, looking at sangwon very gravely, "do you think if we plead with management desperately they'd let us both move out?"
sangwon smiles, cheeks full, and he clicks his forehead to anxin's, "don't think so, anxin-ah."
the only thing that gets the three of them to stop involving themselves in sangwon's and anxin's business was when anxin set out to ruin sangwon, so he jets out a hand to clamp hardly against sangwon's hip, pulling him forward so he was settled in anxin's lap.
sangwon doesn't complain, placing his hand by anxin's head on the head rest. the other hand was still in anxin's own, and he refused to let go since sangwon wanted to compare his hand size with some guy so no. he tips closer to kiss anxin fleetingly, humming into it approvingly.
anxin steers control with a low hum of his own, tilting his head to push deeper into the kiss. what starts as a fleeting press of lips quickly turns softer, more heavy pressing. he licks into sangwon’s mouth with withering force, savouring the faint bitter flavour of the iced americano sangwon must have had earlier on set. sangwon sighs against him almost instantly, the hand braced by anxin’s head curling into his hair, tugging lightly as if to anchor himself.
their mouths move together in that familiar rhythm - soft at first, then firmer, a little greedy - a lot greedy.
anxin’s free hand stays locked with sangwon’s, fingers still tightly interlaced from earlier, while his other palm slides ss down to grip sangwon’s hip firmly, pulling him even closer on his lap until there’s no little space left between them. sangwon’s breath hitches when anxin nips at his lower lip, soothing it immediately with another slow lick.
when they finally part for air, sangwon’s eyes are half-lidded, cheeks flushed darker than they were on the show earlier.
anxin doesn’t give him much time to recover. he dips his head, pressing open-mouthed uneven pecks along the sharp line of sangwon’s jaw, then lower, following the warm skin down to the column of his neck. sangwon tilts his head back instinctively, offering more access easily with a shaky exhale that sounds dangerously close to a whine.
anxin takes full advantage.
he really did miss his boyfriend.
he kisses down the side of sangwon’s neck with keen reverence - slow, wet presses of lips that turn into gentle suction, then light scrapes of teeth that make sangwon’s fingers tighten in his hair, pulling enough to make anxin's scalp tingle with anticipation. he lingers at the sensitive spot just beneath sangwon’s ear, feeling the older man shiver in his lap, thighs clenching around him. the subtle scent of sangwon’s expensive cologne mixed with clean sweat invades anxin’s senses, grounding him and stirring that possessive heat in his chest all over again.
"hyung, you're really mine, and mine only, right?" anxin murmurs against the damp skin, voice a whisper. sangwon only makes a noise of agreement that's drowned by the deep breath he takes when anxin blows cold air where he'd licked a stripe. anxin kisses the same spot again, harder this time, enough to leave a faint mark that will probably need careful concealing tomorrow. sangwon’s response is a quiet, breathless sound that vibrates under anxin’s lips. sangwon’s hand squeezes their still-interlocked fingers, his other sliding down to grip anxin’s shoulder fro m his hair as he rocks forward slightly in his lap.
"okay, hey - enough." sanghyeon's voice cuts through, sounding embarrassed. "hyungs - anxin hyung, enough, we get it, we get it."
they part, sangwon's eyes glowing with a smile, red with exertion, and anxin returns it, pinching his hip.
sangwon laughs brightly.
"thank you." sanghyeon breathes out, gritting his teeth with his hands on his cheeks to hide how flushed he was. he clears his throat with effort, "dinner is ready." anxin nudges sangwon closer to him, pretending he was going to kiss him again, and sanghyeon yelps, xinlong throws a pillow at them square on their heads, jostling them both to fall sideways. "honestly, you two."
anxin gets up, easing sangwon on the floor with another kiss on his ear. the uncomfortable swirl of heaviness in his chest after seeing that episode had gone away and the gentle warmth of sangwon and his body remains at it's stead.
"dinner, guys." junseo's voice rings from the dining hall, and they round the partition to see him standing over the table to divide the rice, a bowl in hand. he looks anxin and sangwon down, very used to them messing around in the sitting room. the only thing that gave away he was a little flustered was the shade of red spread at his neck, "when i said, give him hell, i meant the other kind."
sangwon removes his jacket, moving over to the basin to wash up to his arms, splashing water on his face. taking the towel from xinlong when he holds it out, "you didn't specify, did you?"
"let's just eat, i'm starving," sanghyeon says without care, clapping his hands for everyone to take their seats. he occupies the one their manager usually takes. he makes an unholy noise as he takes the spread of food in, "anxin-hyung told me we should all eat together and made me wait up this late."
anxin lifts his chopstick, challenging, "say that again."
xinlong and sangwon grin. junseo shakes his head, pushing the piece of rib he'd fished out into sanghyeon's mouth, "don't say it again for the sake of peace, thanks."
sanghyeon shrugs and chews, chews and chews, obviously elongating it.
"good choice." anxin comments, flicking a fond finger to sanghyeon's forehead, before digging in.
sanghyeon rubs at the spot on his forehead, not pleased, "maybe kyehoon-ssi should've kissed sangwon hyung's hand after all."
anxin sets his chopsticks back in his bowl slowly, rising from where he sat.
sanghyeon shoots off first, taking his spoon with him, shouting with his mouth full.
sangwon's laughter follows him, yelling, and he smiles to himself.
his.
-
"tell him to not wait for three years next time you see him, hyung."
a laugh, "okay, anxin-ah."
"tell him to not wait at all, actually."
"yep."
"we will not have broken up three years later."
"preposterous," his voice is teasing, "of course not."
"three years or ever, i called dibs on you for the rest of our life."
"me too."
"besides - "
"yes, let's sleep."
"no, but - "
"sleep. i'm sleepy, i love you, let's sleep."
"wan'an, sangwon-ah, i love you too."
-