Archive of Our Own

Ever since elementary school, every corner of every room was occupied by your pitiful, tucked inwards slouching body. Often holding your lunch box, chewing with gusto in hopes of leaving the cafeteria early; Your nose buried in a fantasy-romance novel while you’re eating. Your social ability was always as enclosed as your glasses frame. Cramped, compact, very much so limited like your poor vision. Quoted directly from the source, your mother.

It’s not that anyone had ever went out of the way to bully or isolate you from the crowd, but you were simply born frailer and more fragile than the rest. In the most euphemistic way, different.

During sports selection, you were no stranger to trip over your own ankle as if your shoe lace has been tampered with. Struggled to pick up the short put ball from the dirt as if it weight a ton. Most people were accommodating to you, holding your hand and guiding you to do everything step by step like a toddler taking it’s first baby steps. If anything, you could be praised for exceling in following instructions. 9Humiliating, kind of, but you’re grateful.

Unfortunately, puberty was not as merciful to you, neither did the social circles in high school. A pace slower than the rest to picking up social cues, you find yourself out of loop with friend groups, and stuck with a few of the nicer girls who were cool and ‘looser’ with friends. They adopted you as their token ‘outcast’ to give themselves a better social credit. Not that they ever privately hung out with you, ever.

Unbeknownst to you, there is a unspoken “girl code” you require to know to have the honour to join friend groups. Snapchat, a finsta, or oversharing about their latest woes with their puppy love boyfriends. It’s like an ‘open sesame!’ password you gotta know, but you only know your ABCs.

You didn’t have anything much interesting going on, to be frank. Not even your grades were exceptional. Faded and forgotten, you were often regarded as a background character you read from your romance books that you grow discreet with reading as you age.

If your life was a movie, it’d be a rather anticlimatic. On par with a dead person’s heartbeat. No rising action, no climax, just a flat immovable line.

But that was fine. You didn’t sulk over being average, nor did you not try your best to fit more into the norm. You had a few friends. Online friends you made from video games, and all the hobbies you started on the way growing up.

Nobara is your best friend ever since high school. The both of you had applied for the same college, but different courses. The campus was vast enough to included pre-med and various other courses as well.

You went into graphic design. Being somewhat of a borderline loner gets you all in your head all the time, imagining designs and all colourful trinkets that you could possibly craft, and transform it into a career path. Cliche, laugh it up.

But…designing wasn’t the only thing on your mind, of course.

A hormonal teenage girl can never just be thinking about inanimate objects, of course.

24 years of your life, you’ve been fawning over the idea of having a boyfriend.

When you were 13, you wanted a bookworm, nerd boyfriend. Harry Potter was your favourite.

When you turned 16, you wanted a dashing, biker boyfriend that swept you off your feet. “Vroom vroom, get on my bike and skip class with me! Oh look I have a leather jacket too! Won’t you swoon for me baby?”

When you turned 20, you craved someone that could understand you. Someone who could teach you how to do complex equations, someone who could fix your bike after it breaks down. Hold your hand during roller coaster rides.

But as the years passed, you never got the so called “teenage heartbreak”. No boy ever liked you in high school, you thirdwheeled Nobara and her then boyfriend to prom. There wasn’t a promised prophecy of “When you’re 19 you’ll meet a boy that’s gonna break your heart!”. There wasn’t anything, actually. By the time you blew out your birthday candles for being good ol’ 24, you think it’s pretty much over, like there was an expiry date to use certain vouchers.

“Girl we gotta go NOW.”

Thankfully, you still had Nobara.

“My bad! Let’s go let’s go!” Frantically tying your shoelace, you stand up and knock your boots against the door twice to fasten it, before rushing to catch up with Nobara , who’s thumb is jamming down on the button inside the lift.

Slapping your foot down and running up the corridor, you clumsily dart into the elevator, nodding at Nobara to close the lift door. Your feet wobble and—

A big, warm hand with black painted fingernails pushes you upright swiftly by your shoulder before you trip. You whip your head behind you, only to be met with a wall of gray. Craning your neck higher as if to scale a skyscraper, it’s Sukuna.

Ryomen Sukuna, vice captain of the rugby team on campus. He lives on the men’s dorm, which is floor 3 and 4. You don’t know much about him other than his outward appearance.

From anyone’s height, Sukuna looks intimidating as hell. With his oversized gray hoodie hanging over his broad frame, and a pair of wired earphones going with it, the signals he transmitting is completely unfriendly and closed off, despite him just assisting you earlier.

The silver of his dogtag reflects the elevator and blinds you momentarily, he quirks a pierced brow down at you. The runic-like tattoos on his face scare you as much as you find it attractive, so you awkwardly pass a thanking nod at him like a thief caught red-handed and turn back to Nobara, who’s giving you a side eye for your tiny embarrassing moment.

“Oops.” You bare your teeth downwards at her, feeling rather silly yourself.

— —-

Classes go by in a blur.

Carrying a stack of papers in one arm and your tote bag in another, you feel a subtle vibration in the back pocket of your jeans. Snaking and fumbling around to fish your phone out from your pocket, it lights up with a notification from Nobara.

Nobara : my prof is taking 4ver to conclude the class, go ahead without me :(

Nobara : btw idh class tmr morn, so lets go out n have lunch ?

You put your papers down at the nearest bench and start typing away with a smile on your face, pink tongue slightly sticking out.

You : ya okk!

You : ur prof always pulls this…

 

Nobara : I KNOW. everyday in this class i wanna kms

Nobara : i’ll see u tmr girl

Clumsily gathering all your things with you, you head to the shuttle bus to head back to your dorm.

It’s a bummer that Nobara often has to bail out on you for her classes and emergencies, but at the very least, you get to game tonight! Whenever Nobara is not free, you would head back to your dorm early and get on your favourite online game.

Also talk to your second most favourite person after Nobara— “cursedguy07”

Biting down your lip in giddiness, you pull up your steam chat. The bus shakes a little and your thumb presses down on a silly in game sticker.

cursedguy07 : hello sweetheart

Just talking to him makes your cheek flush, resisting the urge to giggle like a maniac in the corner of the bus.

sleepyGirl_04 : dont call me that im kinda shy…

cursedguy07 : but you are sweet though

You kick your feet slightly under your seat. Godsake, you’re 24…

sleepyGirl_04 :😵‍💫

sleepyGirl_04 : um anyways

sleepyGirl_04 : wanna go 1 round?

Smiling to yourself, you lean on the bus window, biting your lip and humming a little to the adverstisement music on the shuttle bus. More people get on the bus as it stops every station, but you’re stuck in your little bubble with him.

cursedguy07 : 1 round of u?

cursedguy07 : haha

You quickly angle your phone towards yourself so the elderly woman beside you doesn’t see his suggestive text.

sleepyGirl_04 : STOP IM ON THE BUS

cursedguy07 : on your way back from class?

sleepyGirl_04 : i’ve been really busy w class these days. i missed u..

 

cursedguy07 : yeah dont worry bout it. been caught up with my training too.

cursedguy07 : how bout a round of the game and one round of u👍

 

sleepyGirl_04 : stop did u rly just thumbs up

cursedguy07 : i did, so?

cursedguy07 : you don’t want to sext?

 

The old lady besides you cough and you flinch, your phone jumping in your hands like freshly-caught fish before you hastily catch it back with a few keyboard smashes.

sleepyGirl_04 : cdsjv jds vjebv e

 

cursedguy07 : ?

 

sleepyGirl_04 : TYPO

sleepyGirl_04 : also Ok fine i do.. i do…im shy ok like you can’t always just say it like tgat…

 

cursedguy07 : “tgat”

 

sleepyGirl_04 : STOP

 

cursedguy07 : we literally always sext, idk why you always act like it’s the first time

 

sleepyGirl_04 : it’s called being embarassed and prudish

 

cursedguy07 : you? prudish? got a chuckle out of me

 

sleepyGirl_04 : die

After a good 20 minutes, you finally arrive back at your dorm. Rushing towards the lobby to head for the lift, you notice Sukuna heading for it too. He gestures silently for you to go first. Gentleman.

Thing about Sukuna—he looks like an asshole, is not an asshole.

Nodding oafishly, you head into the lift with Sukuna. Pressing on buttons 2 and 4, you head up. Cranky elevator, great jazz music . There’s a slightly sweaty smell of musk that you’re 200% sure it comes from the man behind you, but you don’t comment on it. Too hasty to get home.

The lift dings at the second floor and you whisper a small thanks at Sukuna when he holds the door open for you. Hurriedly running to your door, you take off your shoes, socks, unlocking your door with your key jingles echoing down the hallway.

Greeted by the familiar sight of your living room, you place down your bags and hang your coat, tossing your keys into it’s designated key box. A notif from discord pings u.

cursedguy07 : u there? i’m home.

“Ow! Ow!” Peering over at your phone on the table, you impatiently pull at your hair tie to let your tangled hair free, plucking a few unfortunate hair strands that are not spared by your rough handling. Your mother used to snark to you about your frequent hair-falling issues, but you’ve always got invisible earmuffs on when she starts her piece.

You try your best to type on your keyboard with your freehand, the other still pulling at your unkempt hair. Certainly you regret not brushing your hair in the morning before you left the house…

sleepyGirl_04 : m home too! gib me a momendt

cursedguy07 : u got home drunk or ?

You grimace, finally letting your hair free and focus on your phone. Snatching it from your table, you dive into your couch, lying comfortably on it.

sleepyGirl_04 : ws typing with 1 hand

 

cursedguy07 : me too

A furious blush paints over your face, your legs instantly closing tightly together and rubbing against each other with rising friction. It’s been a while since you had some release. Pulling up your shirt to bare your bra to the cool air of the room, you bite down the hem of your shirt, texting him back.

sleepyGirl_04 : r u touching urself right now…?

sleepyGirl_04 : y didn’t you wait for me

 

cursedguy07 : yea m strokin my dick.

cursedguy07 : is this table manners? i didn’t know i had to wait

cursedguy07 : whatchu wearin?

 

sleepyGirl_04 : ok fine smartass…

sleepyGirl_04 : m wearing normal tshirt n shorts…

 

cursedguy07 : baby ur killing me

cursedguy07 : i mean underneath that sweetheart

cursedguy07 : u do this everytime

 

sleepyGirl_04 : o sorry HELP

sleepyGirl_04 : ok um white sports bra and black cotton panties..

 

cursedguy07 : always the same shit

 

sleepyGirl_04 : ik its not sexy…

 

cursedguy07 : did i say that?

cursedguy07 : my boner sure thinks it’s sexy

It really makes you warm and endeared that he never cares about how awkward you are. Makes you so giddy. Like you have candy in your mouth and it’s sticking to your teeth.

cursedguy07 : if i was there i’d fuck your panties

sleepyGirl_04 : u said this last time too…

sleepyGirl_04 : one trick pony

 

You snicker.

cursedguy07 : and i meant it both times, so now what?

cursedguy07 : and you got wet both times, guess the trick never got old

Whining and feeling yourself getting hot and bothered, your fingers absentmindedly slip under your shorts, lightly ghosting them over your clothed clit. You jolt when you touch a spot that feels good.

sleepyGirl_04 : wtv

sleepyGirl_04 : im rly sensitive rn

 

cursedguy07 : yea? pinch your clit

 

sleepyGirl_04 : i m

 

cursedguy07 : do it harder

cursedguy07 : u always slack off

 

sleepyGirl_04 : no i dont

cursedguy07 : yes u do. always complain you can’t cum when i don’t tell u to

cursedguy07 : fuck. wna tap my dick over your clit and watch you squirm

cursedguy07 : my dick is leaking so much fuck

Panting with ragged breaths, you circle your clit faster over your underwear, feeling your pussy getting warm and sticky. The wetness was dripping down towards your ass, and you whimper when your fingers glide over it to feel the slimy fluid coat your fingers.

sleepyGirl_04 : stop

sleepyGirl_04 : i wish u were here to rub my clit

sleepyGirl_04 : im so horny i want to cum

cursedguy07 : yea

cursedguy07 : if i was there i’d suck your clit until you cry

cursedguy07 : lick u all over

Reading his text, you loudly moan into the space of your living room, rubbing yourself faster and faster until your hand is a blur in your shorts. Imagining a big silhouette of a man hovering over you, hands groping your tits and eating your pussy like a starved man.

cursedguy07 : ur pussy will overstimulate and squirt when im done w u

cursedguy07 : fuck m gonna bust

cursedguy07 : wanna fill ur pussy up with my cum fuck

“A-Ahnng-” Your body bows and tenses, feeling your eyes roll to the back of your head and your jaw falls open with drool. You come hard and slow, the high lasting so long that you’re shaking and trembling, whining with choked noises.

cursedguy07 : i’d fuck u so good

Your hand still keep rubbing over your soaked panties, stuttering and cramping with its movement from how rough you were being. Hips bucking one last time, you slump back into your couch, sweat glistening on your forehead.

sleepyGirl_04 : i came so hard

cursedguy07 : yeah? ur fingers all sticky huh

sleepyGirl_04 : stop wtv

cursedguy07 : u always get shy afterwards

sleepyGirl_04 : havent you heard of post-nut clarity

cursedguy07 : sure

sleepyGirl_04 : udh post nut clarity?

cursedguy07 : there’s no reason for me to regret cumming hard to the thought of you

Bah, he’s so sly with his words it makes you feel like a stupid girl falling for a con artist sometimes. The post orgasm bliss washes over you, still lying there and smiling at your ceiling.

cursedguy07 : i’ll shower then we play

cursedguy07 : wait for me sweetheart

Yes, it’s peculiar. Talking to a stranger on the internet and sexting each other time to time. Over the past 5 months of getting to know each other, perhaps it was inevitable to have sexual tension when late night gaming turns into sexual conversations.

The both of you have a silent agreement on not revealing yourselves and send pictures, keeping the anonymity and also the thrill of being a mystery intact.

He’s not…really a boyfriend. Is he?

You don’t count him as one either ways.

Are you e-dating? Uh…Probably? Probably not? You grimace at the aspect that Nobara might be right about discord-dating being cringe. Alas, you’re cringe and you’re free.

Quickly cleaning yourself up with a shower as well, you head to your bedroom and get on the game. You and him met on Outlast Trials. It’s silly, but you were really attracted to how direct he was trying to solve the puzzles in the game. He always gave instructions and beat the rounds fast. And god, his voice…

You accept the game invite.

“Hm. Hey.” Over your headphones, he clears his throat, a raspy sleepy voice comes through. You giddily cross your feet.

“Helloo. Hehe.” Speaking sheepishly into your mic, you smile, adjusting your keyboard so it’s positioned the way you like it. “Did you have a good shower?”

“Huh.” He chuckles over the line, “Very like you to ask me how I showered. It was fine. Then I thought of you. Jerked off again.”

“Yeeee pervert…” You comedically make a goofy imitation of his deep baritone voice, hiding how flustered you are. He laughs and clicks his tongue in exasperation over the line.

“Tsk tsk. You like it.”

“I don’t.”

“You do. Bet you came really hard, all shaking and needy.”

“Ok anyways,” You quickly change the topic before your cheeks turn the same shade of red as your sleep shirt. “Let’s queue.”

The both of you hop onto Outlast Trials, getting the orphanage map. The mission objective for this map is easier for you than the other maps, so you crack your knuckles in excitement, waiting for him to connect in as well.

The game starts and you both head for the mission.

“Say, you never told me what sports you play,” you perk up a curious question, clicking on your mouse, “Earlier you said you’ve been busy with training?”

“Hm. Yeah. I play rugby for my college team.”

This should have alerted you, but you don’t realize it, focused on the game.

“Ohh yeah! My college has a rugby team too. I don’t know much about it though.”

“Ha, maybe we’ll go against each other. I’ll win though, sorry in advance.” He smugly states, and you can see in your minds eye how his smirk would look like, despite the lack of imagery.

“Wowwww we got Mr. Smug3000 here.” you jest.

“Shit, come revive me.” Knocked down by the enemy in the game, his character crawls weakly on the ground. “And yeah, can’t blame me. My team ran up to the semifinals last year so. We gonna climb to the top this year.” A ruffle sound over the in-game voice call, probably running his hand through his hair.

“Hmm…” You hum in acknowledgement, busy on the game.

“Ahem,” He clears his throat. “You wanna come to my match this thursday?”

“Oh what, like face to face? Haha.” Nervously laughing, you blink at your screen, hoping he’s just joking.

“Yeah, face to face.”

Everything in you stills like a deer in the headlights. You should play dumb.

“Wait come help me with the nuns-”

“Don’t avoid the question.”

The sudden sternness of his voice makes you sweat internally, unsure how to respond to his demand. A cold chill washes over your chest, your clammy hands freezing up on your mouse. Insecure and awkward as you are, there was no way you were going to meet this guy face to face. This is all gradually getting too real.

“Baby we’ve been talking for months. Unless you’re a guy using a voice changer, I don’t see why we shouldn’t meet in real life.”

“I just,” you hesitate, biting your inner cheek in contemplation, “I just don’t think it’s nescessary.”

“Necessary? Am I just some voice fantasy for you? We don’t even send pictures to each other. Fuck, the most we’ve done is sext.” He sounds frustrated over the line, his character in the game not moving. He’s away from the keyboard.

“I wanna see you for real.” He adds.

“Don’t you wanna meet me?” It almost sounds like a plea when he says it.

“Uhhh…” You swallow hard.

Racking your brain hard for an answer, you panic when it comes out blank. Doesn’t he know stranger danger? Isn’t the whole point of anonymous sexting online, anonymous? To get away from the humiliation of being known publicly? Is he too, not an insecure guy who’s talking to a stranger online to fill his otherwise lonely social life?

For you, being online was your escape. Playing video games was your escape. You didn’t think you were gonna meet some guy in Outlast Trials out of all place and…and fool around with him. The fact that you even met him on such a small game was already an absurd thrill, but you’ve never meant for it to go this far.

You didn’t want to be a catfish either; It was too much hassle to constantly edit pictures back and forth. So you thought, it was going to be this way forever. Playing games together, talk about random topics, and sometimes indulge yourselves in sexual conversations. Faceless, no identity, even though you’re sure he knows a lot of details about you, as much as you know about him.

Literally why does he wants to meet? The pressure is intense. You don’t necessarily think he’s some kind of creepy old man behind the screen, but at the same time, you don’t want your fantasy to be shattered. The illusion of “cursedguy_07” that you’ve made in your mind was already ingrained into you. Meeting up would completely reverse that sort of delusion that you’ve subject yourself to, much to your selfish desires.

The version of “cursedguy07” you have created in your mind, is much more valueable than the real thing for you. Fucked up to say, aware enough to admit.

What if he’s not your type? What if you’re not his type? This would all be over in seconds.

Plus, the both of you have not discussed or labeled your relationship at all. Who are you gonna show up as? His online friend that he occassionally indulges with sexting?! So ridiculous…

“I… I don’t know. What if like…I don’t know. What if we, you know, don’t find each other attractive?” your meek reply earns a brief silence, you’re afraid you’ve said something to offend him.

“I don’t care how you look. Do you care how I look?” The game is long forgotten.

“I-I mean no no, I’m not that judgemental. But, physical chemistry is a thing, you know what I mean?” You try to salvage things, but you don’t even sound confident in your own words. You hate angering people, confrontations is something you try your hardest to avoid.

Even back in high school, whenever people would comment something rather unpleasant about you, you don’t stand up for yourself. The moment will pass. But resentment will build and gradually fester into something ugly if you had started right into an explosive argument right there and then.

“We should try at least.” He urges, “I’ll send you a pic, you send me one back.”

What?!

Growing up, you seldom take selfies. In group photos, a hand peace sign is what you use to cover your face. Your mother used to pry your hands apart just to stop you from playing hide and seek with the camera. Sending a picture to the guy you like? No chance.

“Ok no, that’s just- No. I’m not ready…” The game auto-exits to the lobby, leaving you and your “internet fuck buddy” alone in the call with no game to interrupt you.

“Fine, you don’t have to. But I will. I’m tired of this.” The sound of him leaving the game lobby and ending the in-game voice call beeps.

cursedguy07 : sent a photo

The sudden burst of adrenaline that rushes through your blood makes your veins pump erratically. Holy shit. He really just sent a photo of himself. You hesitate before you click on the notification.

“Oh my god.”

The photo that graces your screen is a picture of his bulky abs, the hem of his shirt pulled up by a veiny hand. But you’re not focused on the shirtless thirst trap picture at all. You’re not even aroused. You’re focused on the extremely familiar runic tattoos that run across his chest down to his abdomen.

Fumbling with the apps, you dive into instagram.

Search bar.

“malevolentsteam_u”

Your thumb pulls up, click on the line up listing post.

You swipe.

"Ryomen Sukuna, vice-captain of the Malevolents.”

A loud silence swallows up your room.

cursedguy07 : this is all yours if we meet.

Instantly , you slam your phone down onto your lap, hurling up your legs up your seat and bury your face into your knees, palm covering your overheating face. Heart palpitations instantly start up despite the fact that you didn’t have anything caffeinated today.

Rubbing your eyes in profusely in harsh circles, you try to come down from your panic to realize that you’ve been sexting the guy that lives in the same fucking building, two floors above you. You’ve been sexting that hot guy on the rugby team that’s everyone wishes to violently bang. You’ve been sexting a guy that you see everyday at the fucking elevator!

This is practically the worst possible outcome! You see him everyday, you know him! It’s a relief he has no idea who you are, but you feel as if on the verge of tears imagining him finding out that you’re not who his own delusion has imagined to be. Maybe he’d block you. Hate you.

cursedguy07 : are u still shy?

cursedguy07 : look, i’m a real person. my real name is ryomen.

cursedguy07 : you can search me up on the Malevolents team instagram

cursedguy07 : you’ll see my face

“Oh my god just stop fucking texting me!” All the panic in you is making you sway back and forth, leg bouncing, ending up on your bed with your face smothered in your pillow in an attempt to wash away this memory.

There is absolutely no way in hell you’re meeting Ryomen Sukuna in person. No fucking way. This is genuinely your worst nightmare.

First of all, there is no way a guy like him isn’t expecting a cute kitten e-girl behind the screen. You’re an awkward, mundane girl with not much going on for herself, this is a match made in hell. Second of all, you have not mentally prepared yourself for the prospect that you would meet your internet-sext-buddy in real life!

Lastly, why the fuck is a guy like Sukuna always free to play games and sext with you at night! Doesn’t he have parties?! Training?! What is going on! Why the hell is Ryomen Sukuna sexting with someone on discord!

Fuck, why do you even have him on a pedestal?

For the sake of your remaining sanity, you leave Sukuna on seen and cover yourself up with your fluffy blanket.

“This is probably just a nightmare and I legit just haven’t woken up. Trust it’s gonna be over.”

— —-

cursedguy07 : sweetheart, are u ghostin me?

cursedguy07 : i apologize for sending you an unsolicited pic

Ignoring your phone buzzing in your pocket, you tie your shoelace, loosening your shoulders to head out. The smile on your face is forced and anxious when you greet the next door lady good morning. Like the Smile movie you watched last week.

cursedguy07 : is there any way for me to fix this?

Pressing on the down button for the lift, you grimace down at your phone, taking it out your pocket. What do you even say to Sukuna? You don’t wanna send a pic back, but you don’t want to continue to lead him on more.

Like a sick joke, the lift opens the door and it greets you with none other than Sukuna. Stiffening, your eyes scan over him.

Still with his gray hoodie, he’s carrying a gym duffel bag, and no headphones this time. On his right hand, he’s gripping his phone tightly. His pierce brow quirks, but this time, he looks especially…bothered. Different from his usual nonchalance.

“U gonna just stand there all day or come in the lift? I’m in a rush here.” Sukuna barks, causing you to flinch.

This is the first time he has ever spoken to you, and the dread builds. His voice matches. He really is cursedguy07.

Nodding in fear and awkwardness, you rush into the lift and press for the lobby. You cannot afford to speak and for him to recognize your voice. The air feels tense and suffocating all of the sudden, you’re hyper-aware of Sukuna that’s standing literally right behind you, typing on his phone loudly. Holding your breath as if you’re underwater, you listen.

He’s the type of guy who has his ringer on all the time.

He types, then he deletes. Types, and then deletes.

It feels like you’re stuck in a fucking horror movie when your phone vibrates quietly in your pocket, and you’d rather die than check it with him in the lift. Thank god you silent your ringer before you left.

“Fuck.” Behind you, Sukuna whispers solemnly in the air. You hate that it sounds just as sultry as he sounds on the late night calls you share.

The elevator door opens and you step out of the way to let Sukuna pass you and head out first. His tall, burly frame briefly passes before your eyes, jaw muscle ticking, gripping the grip of his duffel bag like he’s releasing tension. He’s striding down towards the community gym really fast. Like, three of your steps to his one stride.

You pull out your phone to check.

cursedguy07 : look, i don’t know what i did wrong(aside from the picture), but is it really that bad to the extent of you refusing to speak to me?

cursedguy07 : usually you’d tell me you’re busy before you go offline.

cursedguy07 : does my body repulse you so?

Shit!

You scramble to open his chat.

sleepyGirl_04 : woah woah woah nonoononono

sleepyGirl_04 : your body is fine

sleepyGirl_04 : you’re just like rly hot

sleepyGirl_04 : idk how to talk to you anymore

sleepyGirl_04 : u look like ai

 

cursedguy07 : ?

cursedguy07 : you say the strangest things

cursedguy07 : i cannot keep up with the speed of your brain

cursedguy07 : this is the very first time where a woman has stopped speaking to me bc im “too hot”.

cursedguy07 : does that mean you’re gna stop talking to me ?

A text notif pings on your screen above your chat.

Nobara : girl where the hell r u

Nobara : yk we still got lunch right

There is literally so much on your plate right now you think you’re going to explode.

sleepyGirl_04 : wait i’ll reply u ltr

cursedguy07 : when is later?

You switch to Nobara’s chat.

You : girl m coming i couldnt find my key this morn

Nobara : i’m gna slap u when u get here

You : wait dont slap me i hv tea to tell u

You switch to Sukuna’s chat.

sleepyGirl_04 : um ltr cuz im going to see my friend rn

cursedguy07 : can we address this first?

You switch to Nobara’s chat.

Nobara : girl u piss me off GET HERE NOW

Pocketing your phone, you pratically sprint out the lobby towards the street, casting a lingering glance at the gym entrance.

cursedguy07 : have fun sweetheart. i guess?

— —

“Next time, I’m gonna shove my stethoscope up your ass.”

“Please don’t.” You sweat with a pleading smile, brows furrowed tightly together. Nobara sips on her already finished milkshake, sucking on the straw until it makes a bubbly noise.

“Spill on what you were gonna tell me.” Nobara grumbles, cocking her head to the side expectantly.

Putting your bag down on the floor, you reach for the menu on the table. Stomach has been growling since you walked in. You order your meal—a beef bolognese rigatoni, before you continue.

“Ok so like, remember my internet online friend?”

“The one you kinda have a crush on? What was it? Cursed dude 4 or something?”

“It’s cursedguy07” You correct her, putting a finger up to imitate a nerd face.

“Don’t play semantics with me.” Nobara rolls her eyes, and you cheekily grin.

“Right so…” You paused, drumming your knuckles on the table, eyes focused on the cafe menu.

“He may or may not wants to meet up with me, and also sent me a picture of himself.” You look up at Nobara, who’s jaw is agape.

“So was I right? He’s a creepy old man?” Nobara excitedly points.

“No! God! I hate you!” You hush-scowl at her, making a few of the other patreons at the cafe turn to look at the commotion. It’s the same feeling as your mother being excited to tell you ‘I told you so.’ Aggravating, yes.

“He’s…I think you should see it for yourself.” Meekly, you take out your phone, and shoves the shirtless picture of Sukuna at Nobara’s face. She immediately recoils and squints her eyes.

“Girl I don’t wanna see a thirst…Wait.”

Nobara’s eyes widen, and she snatches your phone to look closer.

“Is that…?” She looks up from your phone, and you stammer a nod.

She looks down at the phone, then up at you again.

“You’ve been e-fucking Ryomen Sukuna?!” Nobara loudly yelps.

“Shh! Keep it down!” Your hand shoots out to cover Nobara’s mouth to muffle her noise, which she resists. The both of you look properly insane.

“Girl, that’s a big fish you got there, my god.” Dramatically covering her mouth with a manicured hand, she exclaims.

“Fish? It’s the entire pond! What am I gonna do”

“Obviously fuck him?” Nobara makes a flippant hand gesture, circling her finger around your face.

“Stop, really?” You bite your lip, “I’ve been thinking about deactivating my account and forget about him.”

“Girl no.” Nobara rolls her eyes again, “not fuck HIM. im saying FUCK HIM.” She does a lewd gesture of her finger thrusting into her hand that’s shaped into a makeshift tunnel. You quickly smack her hand down with lightning reflexes. Have some decorum!

“Stop it! Stop it!” You scold in panic, curling your nose, while Nobara snorts.

Your food arrives and Nobara shrugs and drops the topic, changing it to talk about her horrid nightmare of a clinical exam coming up soon. Despite paying attention to Nobara, the knot in your chest builds. Toeing the line between coming clean to Sukuna about who you are behind the screen and avoiding him forever by unadding him on social media platforms, you realize you have to make a decisive decision soon.

Or you could just. Not do anything about it. Maybe.

Now that you know “cursedguy07” is fucking hot, it literally goes beyond your fantasies now. Will you shatter his fantasy when you meet?

“You know what I think,” Nobara chews with her mouth wiped clean with a tissue, missing a cheeky crumb at the corner as she speaks, “I think you should send a picture back. Doesn’t have to have your face in it. Just be a tease.”

You try your hardest to not blush at the idea of taking suggestive photos for Sukuna’s viewing pleasure, but the very idea him of getting a painful boner and frustrated over an amateurly-taken photo of your body is way too exciting to be shot down. Crumbling a man down to a horny mess would be a massive ego boost to your already insecure self. Stabbing your fork into the last pieces of rigatoni in your bow, you bite the steel utensil and nod in contemplation.

— —-

“You coming?”

“Gimme a sec’.”

Patting down the sweatdrops around his nape, Sukuna finds himself zoning out at the gym floor, staring at it with a blank slate of a mind, as if it was going to grow a head out from the surface. The light reflections from the overhead lighting in the gym bounces on the floor, then onto his face. He blinks hard.

Shuffling to retrieve his phone from his duffel bag placed beside him on the bench, he turns on his phone to see his mundane wallpaper, no notifications from his favourite girl.

Technically not his, but well, not yet. Hoping to be.

See, Sukuna was never one to believe in a fantasical romance scenario that’s along the lines of a children’s book. When he hopped on the game a few months back, that particularly Sunday, he wasn’t expecting to meet a girl that he would end up thinking about almost daily.

Come on. Online dating? Do you know how many scammers are there? The voice changers?

Sukuna deemed it below him to succumb to this. It couldn’t be this easy to be infatuated with a random stranger across the country just from their pretentious personality that they use as a front online. Looking at her profile picture of a goofy cat, he has to chew and swallow on his own words, acid reflux be damned.

Sighing with a heavy chest, he stuffs his shoes and dirty laundry in his bag like a immature child who just got lectured, and heads out to join Toji. Stubborn steps bring him a good distance away from Toji, burning a hole into the back of his head while he overthinks.

Looking to his right, there’s footballers on the field fooling around after practice like naughty kids on christmas. Sukuna wonders if one of them would trip over each other and sprain their ankle. He wasn’t one to constantly wish the worst on others, but hell was it not funny to see someone shit-faced with a pile of mud after a heavy rain. He reckons his foul mood is largely linked to that infuriating girl that’s stop replying him, but he tries to imagine the Buddha. No attachments. No attachments. Sukuna never had good imagination.

Looking to his left are the cheerleaders practicing. A few girls were already looking his way before he turned. Locking eyes with who he assumes to be the “ring leader” of their circle, she blows him an air kiss, which he dodges it by leaning backwards with an unamused expression. A quiet smirk pulls on the corner of his lips when a burst of boisterous laughter trails behind him as he keeps walking without looking back.

Sukuna wasn’t interested in any other girl other than the one trapped in his phone. He knew it was silly to act “tied down” before even meeting her, but it wasn’t like he had his eyes on anyone prior to her appearance in his life.

Rubbing his temple, Sukuna dryly laughs at himself and the ridiculous predicament hes caught himself in. He’s loyal to a girl who refuses to meet him. Putting on a circus show for no audience.

WInding up his arm like a cat getting ready to pounce on it’s target, Sukuna smacks Toji on his back, chuckling when he curses loudly at him. Ducking and dodging at Toji’s vengeful hits, Sukuna sprints to secure a seat at the cafeteria, laughing boyishly like a prebuscent farmer boy in the meadows.

A blur of blue and he crashes into it.

“Fuck I’m sorry,” Immediately Sukuna looks down at the poor student who had to suffer the weight of crashing into a stone wall like him. It’s a girl with a blue shirt. He curls his spine to grab her by her upper arm, yanking her upright, unsure if it’s gentlemanly enough for him to help her up when she yelps from his manhandling. “You alright?”

The girl briefly raises her head to meet his eyes, and then, in the most cartoonish way possible, she shakes her head and dash past him. Sukuna recognizes her from the dorm lift this morning. She’s from the same dorm then. What the fuck was that even about?

“Oh so you’re bullying girls too now?” Toji catches up with him and slaps him back on the shoulder, both men has their eyes tracking the girl clutching her bag escaping the scene. Toji turns to look back at Sukuna and quirks his brow, and Sukuna shrugs him off with a scoff, heading for the queue at the cafeteria.

“Bumped into her and she acted like I was some ghost.” Sukuna picks up 2 grilled mackarels onto his tray, stuffing them to the side on the compact tray.

“Yeah cuz you’re heavy as fuck.” Toji nudges his elbow at Sukuna and earns a mean growl from him, protecting his tray of mackerels and heap of white rice from Toji’s playful teasing. He almost steals Sukuna’s fish and he snarls at him again like a tiger baring its fangs.

“How’s that sleepy girl though?”

“Fuck don’t bring her up.” Veins pop at Sukuna’s temple the moment Toji asks about his little internet fling, handing cash to the cashier with a frown before walking off with his tray. Toji always had this habit of bringing up miserable memories when they shared meals so Sukuna would lose his apetite and hands him his leftovers. Sukuna suspected Toji was doing this because he wanted another set of free lunch, but damn was it working.

“Why? Ya fucked it up?”

“Would you shut up"?”

“So you did then."

Sukuna scrunches his nose and scratches his head aggressively like a dog shaking off wet fur, hands pulling at his salmon-coloured hair before sighing down at his plate in resignation.

“I sent her a picture of me and she got scared.”

Toji bursts into laughter at Sukuna’s quiet confession, rice splattering out from his mouth like a water sprinkler and lands on the table and Sukuna’s plate.

“Fuck you’re so unhygienic!”

“She-! Hah! she got- scared-” Slamming his fists down repeatedly on the table, Toji’s boisterous laughter was gathering too much attention from the other students, ignoring their attempts to shush him. Unfortunately, Toji wasn’t the type to feel shame in a public setting, throwing his head back and forth, chest puffing up with uncontrollable gasps to ease his laughter. Sukuna’s ears were red with anger, or embarassment, he did not know. One thing he knew was he had to get back at Toji.

“And what about your hopeless crush on that marine girl huh? Cherry, was it? ”

Toji instantly stops laughing, kicking Sukuna’s shin under the table and makes him yelp profanities.

“Shut the fuck up! She does marine biology!”

“Yeah whatever. Last time you tried to pretend you know fuck all about some fish and she corrected you with a side eye.”

“Fuck you I hope your e-girl is fucking someone else!”

“You better fuck yourself because you sure aren’t getting that fish girl soon!”

The students near the proximity of Sukuna and Toji’s table starts to decrease, letting the two men engage in their petty dog fight and argue about their romantic woes. It wasn’t until a professor came over to lecture them about volume only did they grumble and scarf their food down their throats. Both men left the cafeteria with a sore throat and a sore ego.

Much to Sukuna’s chagrin, he has a prolonged practice match today because he has to guide the juniors on improving their form and cooperation. One thing Sukuna absolutely hates is to be responsible for others. Sukuna didn’t even have the capacity to take care of a pet, even though he was fond of the furry animals. Bossing people around? Sure. Checking up on people and then try to ameliorate their situation? Not so much.

Only ‘sleepygirl04’ has elevated his level of empathy, but even Sukuna himself is unsure of if he’s able to really back up his claim of taking care of her if they truly met.

One thing he’s absolutely sure is that he does like the girl. He knows that he’d be great at taking care of her in bed. But being a boyfriend? Sukuna hardly knows the outline of being one. Other than the classic dates, flowers and sweet nothings, he finds himself drawing up a blank when it comes to uncomfortable conversations. Eventually, he’ll have to open up about his personal vendettas with his family and his past to her, but that’s something he’ll have to figure it out when he gets there. It’s the same as climbing a mountain without ever seeing the peak. You just have to figure it out when you get there.

Inspecting the little string of cotton thread that broke out from the fine lining of his jersey, he clicks his tongue, thumb brushing over the slightly grey and faded letters of his name “Ryo”. Fuck, should have handwashed it. Let it tumble in the laundry machine too often. Kissing his teeth, Sukuna quickly grabs a dry towel and runs the cloth over his wet hair, water dripping down his torso as he does. With a cat-like stretch and a groan, he loops his jersey over his head and heads out his dorm to the field.

Slinging his duffel bag over his shoulder, the elevator door opens to that girl again. That girl he bumped into this afternoon. She squeaks animatedly like a scared country mouse and side steps to let him in. It’s grating on his nerves now. Why the fuck is she so scared of him for? The way her eyes are looking away at the side of the elevator is as if he would eat her alive for even making eye contact. Sukuna wasn’t used to girls being outright spooked by him. Charmed, yes. Attracted to him, yes. Acting as if they’d die if they met his eyes? No.

“Ahem,” Loosening his shoulders, Sukuna spares the girl a glance, before caving in with a furrow of his brow. “I’m sorry about bumping into you this afternoon. It was my fault, I wasn’t looking.”

The girl doesn’t dare to look up at him, which irks him even more. Can’t even accept an apology?

“Uhm, it’s fine. I’m fine.” Meek, with a terribly pitched voice, the girl responds, catching his reflection in the metallic.

“You got a sore throat?“ He speaks like it pained him to throw out the casual jest.

“Uh no…”

“You speak a little funny.”

The girl immediately spins around, brows knitted and a frown on her face. It reminded Sukuna of his little brother Itadori when Sukuna would finish the yoghurt that the little boy had saved up before going to school. He’d get mad and pouty, use those stubby fingers of his to poke at him and whine. That kid was hella strong with his fists though, he never pulls his punches.

“I don’t have a sore throat, it’s kind of rude for you to say that. I’m fine as well, I’m not going to die from getting knocked over.”

“Relax. My fault.” Sukuna raises his hands in placating surrender gesture, yet a smirk graces his face. It’s really reminding him of his brother now. The girl is shorter than him by a lot as well.

“You…let’s just move on.” She sighs.

Wait a minute.

“Let’s just move on to the next puzzle then! I’m a little lost…”

“Sure. Give me the key.”

Move on?

“You…let’s just move on.”

Standing there dumbfounded with a familiar voice haunting his head, Sukuna watches the girl step out the elevator like he seen a ghost. His heart rate spikes up, and his lips part with a kind of focus that he can’t describe.

Am I on acid or does she sounds like…?

Before the elevator allows Sukuna to drink in her appearance fully, his eyes hyperfixate on a small birthmark on the front of her elbow.

Thursday rolls around, so do you when you roll out of bed and land on the hard wooden floor with a thud. Sitting up with unkempt hair, your fingers scramble and search for your phone on the floor, feeling up a long charging wire and finally to your phone.

10:45 am.

cursedguy07 : hey

cursedguy07 : missed you.

cursedguy07 : my match starts at 12pm. i know you won’t be there but i’m thinking of you.

Smiling while biting down at your bottom lip, you sleepily bring your fingers to the keyboard. Though you’re sure that he doesn’t know who you are still, it makes you giddy that he’s still really sweet to you despite your on and off texting. Obviously, you were going to watch his match with Nobara.

sleepyGirl_04 : good luck! i know u’ll crush it doe

cursedguy07 : any chance i could see you afterwards? face to face?

Groaning in frustration, you turn your head and bury it into your mattress like a little kid refusing to wake up for school. Your thighs feel awfully cold from the floor in the air conditioned room of yours. It was running all night.

You can’t see him. He’s out of your league. You close your eyes as if a criminal on the guillotine.

It’s so cold. My nips are cold.

“You know what I think”

“I think you should send a picture back. Doesn’t have to have your face in it. Just be a tease.”

Your eyes snap wide open in eureka, staring right at your chest.

Quickly climbing back up your bed, you shuffle around, adjusting your camisole and pull down the spaghetti straps to let it fall loosely around your upper arm. Pushing and kneading your bread as if a sourdough, you succeed it in getting it to look “plump”. Without a push up bra, somehow.

Raising your phone high up in the air, you pretend as if you’re in a cheap homemade porn video. Except it looks terrible. The lighting looks muddy, so you move. Then your lips looks too chapped, then you move again. Then your double chin is getting highlighted by the sunlight from your window. Allright I’m never gonna get it down. Even teasing pictures are an art form.

After flopping around your bed like a living fish on land, you finally get a good position with a decent angle. It’s awkward to pose and you’re sure it looks ridiculous from a third person’s pov, paired with the lower back pain that’s about to happen from cramping, but you snap the picture regardless.

You send it to Nobara for two factor authentication.

Nobara : u are posing like the little mermaid except she’s trying to escape quick sand.

Nobara : why are your legs so straight. cross them so your thighs are more seductive.

 

You : OK well I was just trying to focus on the boobs...

 

Nobara : your legs are LAID OUT like a vampire in a coffin and you want me to focus on your rack??

“Why is this so fucking hard?!” Rubbing your palm over your face, your nose twists with the strength of your frustration. This was even harder than taking stiff graduation photos!

Nobara : listen to me, put one hand on your chin and pull your knees up, push them slightly to the side. do that awkward smile you always do

You : omg ur so rude im not always awkward smiling on purpose

Nobara : ya that’s the problem you’re naturally awkward. now get to it

Reluctantly heeding Nobara’s advice, your body moves as if a mannequin getting posed at the H&M store. Finally getting the picture, you send it to her again.

Nobara : girl yessss. this the one.

Nobara : send it to him he’s gonna get a boner trust me

 

You : you think? I feel so awkward

 

Nobara : just send it

Holding your breath and bracing yourself as if you were preparing for a bungee jump, you click send to cursedguy07, who you now know as Sukuna. Who is living just 2 floors above you. Not crazy at all, haha.

sleepyGirl_04 : sends an attachment

cursedguy07 : is this your first time sending a pic like this

Growing nervous, you scan and scrutinize over your own picture again and again, noticing the little flaws here and there now that you sent it. Even he realizes it’s amateur. Your face grows hot, wishing you could bury yourself 6 ft under for your sudden burst of false confidence for even entertaining the idea of a suggestive picture.

sleepyGirl_04 : ya…

 

cursedguy07 : did you send this thinking it would motivate me for my match?

Fuck…

sleepyGirl_04 : um ya…

sleepyGirl_04 : ok m embarrassed now idk what i was thinking sorry

cursedguy07 : yeah u better be sorry

cursedguy07 : im at the field trying to cover the insane boner in my shorts but i can’t stop looking at your thighs in that pic

cursedguy07 : you have such fleshy thighs

Fuck.

sleepyGirl_04 : so u like it..? fleshy is weird word to use, it’s like for meat, like pork ribs…

 

cursedguy07 : tasty, isn’t it?

sleepyGirl_04: isn’t it crude to use meat as a way to talk about a woman’s body

 

cursedguy07 : way less crude than what’s going through my head right now

cursedguy07 : believe me you do not want to know what im thinking about doing to you

cursedguy07 : wish i could see you in person

Fuck Fuck Fuck!

cursedguy07 : and don’t send me anymore before it costs me my game

Muffling your embarassed screams into your pillow while kicking your feet, you check your phone again. You’re glad he likes it, because if it doesn’t you might have to unsend it and block him forever to save yourself. You peek at the time.

11:27 pm.

Shit, you took so long to take that tease photo!

Nobara : WHERE R U

Nobara : CAN U STOP BEING LATE

Nobara : i saved u a seat at the match hurry tf up omg i rly cant stand u

Throwing yourself at your drawer, you scavenge for an ironed shirt and shorts. Laundry day is usually Wednesdays and Saturday for you, so you only have crinkled shirts and some repeatedly used and worn clothes through out the week. Finally finding a long blue tee and gym shorts, you fit yourself in them, slip on your shoes, and rush out your dorm towards the field. Seeing Sukuna in action now is feels way more different, feels more…real to you? Like he’s not cursedguy07 anymore, but Sukuna. Sukuna. Like a celebrity you can casually chat about which breed of fish you like.

“Over here!”

The sound of Nobara’s raspy voice has you stopped squared in the shoulders like a deer in the headlights, turning your head 180 degrees left, and then right, attempting to make out her long brown hair in a sea of other long brown hairs. Jesus.

The field is completely packed with people, people sitting along the grass right outside the line of the rugby field, holding onto their water bottles and chatting away with their friends. Girls lumped together and laying on each other’s shoulders to admire the muscular players practicing, guys standing on the side with their arms crossed while they wait to backseat the game the entire time. Guys just love to point their fingers at a sport they’re not involved in.

A particular hand in the air catches your eye, then you wave back eagerly at Nobara. Stepping across wet grass, puddles and a group of giggling girls, you finally reach Nobara. Patting down your butt and your shorts, you plop yourself down comfortably next to Nobara, nuzzling into her shoulder in a fit of repeated apologies. Nobara gives a ‘hmph’ before petting down your hair and laying her head ontop of yours.

“It’s so sunny, did you bring sunscreen?”

“I did, turn to face me.”

Allowing Nobara to grab your jaw, you close your eyes like a kitten being pampered, feeling her hands swipe sunscreen all over your face down to your neck. Back when you were little, your mother would do the same, except she’d add on excessive white noise about your grades and your gaming habits.

“I wonder if he applied sunscreen too.” You mumble, fluttering your eyes open, Nobara nods at your phone while screwing back the cap of the sunscreen tube. Nodding as if you got approval, you lay back on her shoulder and take your phone out.

sleepyGirl_04: it’s really hot today, make sure to apply some sunscreen :p

 

cursedguy07 : I did

 

sleepyGirl_04: and be careful to not slip on the field, it rained earlier today

 

cursedguy07 : ?

 

sleepyGirl_04: yes? im just showing u concern dont be mean

 

cursedguy07 : it did rained today.

 

sleepyGirl_04: yes???

“Girl, why did you tell him it rained?” Nobara’s voice catches your attention again, moving her face closer to squint at your phone screen.

“What do you mean?” Your confused reply earns an incredulous stare from Nobara.

“Doesn’t that prove to him you’re in his city?”

Oh fuck.

cursedguy07 : how did you know the field im at is wet?

cursedguy07 : i never mentioned where im having my competition at.

“I just fucked it up!” You shriek, shutting off your phone and giving Nobara a helpless stare.

“Well, cat’s out the bag.”

“Nobara!”

“Not my problem.”

cursedguy07 : you’re from my college.

“Oh my god no no no! Help me!” You shake Nobara’s arm like a ragdoll until she yanks her arm away from you, irritated.

“Just lie about it! Quickly!”

You nod and try to get your fingers to work in tandem with your mind.

sleepyGirl_04: no i just saw the weather report

 

cursedguy07 : sweetheart, you said kyoto rained. when it rains, do you think the entire city rains at the exact time?

 

sleepyGirl_04: uh yeah?

 

cursedguy07 : news flash little girl, but only certain parts of the city rains. unless you’re in the same area as me, you wouldn’t know this, and it won’t show up on your weather report.

Anxiously glancing up, you gawk at Sukuna who’s far away at the dug out, typing away at his phone, fingers flying over the keyboard.

cursedguy07 : tell me the truth, are you on the same field watching my game?

sleepyGirl_04: no im not im literally at home

 

cursedguy07 : send me the ‘wet field’ you’re at right now.

“Oh my god girl give me the fucking phone!” Nobara snarls at you and snatches your phone from your hands, exasperated by your poor attempts at lying. You were never a good liar anyways.

sleepyGirl_04: im watching the game on my tv!!

 

cursedguy07 : what channel is the rugby game on?

Nobara immediately turns to you for an answer, and you both shake your head at each other.

“You just made it worse!” You snatch your phone back frantically, switching tabs to beg google for an answer.

“Your dumbass wasn’t going to get out of that anyways,” Nobara rolls her eyes and gestures at the field, “Look, he’s putting his phone away, game’s about to start.”

Gulping, you turn off your phone as the whistle blows. The players line up together in a neat line, shaking each other’s hands as the referee announces the rules. Your eyes are glued onto Sukuna’s frame, sweat glistening his tan skin and dripping across his pink brows. Ah, he dyes his brows pink too.

Sukuna jogs to his bench to retrieve his mouthguard, and you stare, enamoured, as he opens his jaw wide to show off his pearly teeth to an unsuspecting audience, pushing his mouthguard in and clicking it into place. The muscle in his jaw ticks as he chews down twice to adjust to the feeling, then he smiles once to feel it out.

“Is it just me or is that kinda hot?” You whisper to Nobara.

“It’s just you.” She sighs.

The game starts, and it looks entirely like a bull fight. Men with toned thighs clashing into each other, baring their teeth when they grunt, sprinting with the rugby ball with their life on the line. Nearing the goal line, Sukuna shouts a loud “I’m open!” with a wave of his hand, and the ball comes out of no where from the sea of tumbling men, landing straight into his embrace. The men rush at him, he jumps across them like hurdles, then turn his body once to juke out a defender, straining his calves to dive for the line.

Sukuna brings the team to a leading point, and the crowd goes bonkers. His teammates help him up, blood trickling down his nose to his busted lip, glazing his mouthguard with blood. You swallow.

“You’re literally obsessed with him girl.”

The game ends swiftly, with The Malevolents winning by a big margin. Sukuna was obviously the MVP, his teammates taking turns to slap him on the back to congratulate him. Brotherhood indeed.

Going off to the side, Sukuna rushes to check his phone again. His heart doing a flip remembering the picture she sent and the accidental freudian slip she gave on text.

She’s from his college. It feels surreal, but he’s confirmed it at this point. Now he has to figure out who exactly it is.

Giving brief excuses to the coach, Sukuna grabs his duffel bag and decides to head straight for his dorm. He’ll shower and figure it out.

“Hah.” Glancing down at his phone as he makes a beeline towards his dorm, Sukuna stares at the picture of her that she sent, a fond smile on his face. Certainly, it’s a very sloppy photo. The lighting is too dark, and the pose she’s posing is stiff and unnatural, and yet. He finds it sweet that this is perhaps the most seductive she could get herself to be. Her cleavage on display with faint outlines of her nipples through her camisole, to her crossing her thighs together to give off a ‘needy’ impression. She has a birthmark on the front of her elbow too, cute. It’s a very sloppy photo. But the best photo he’s gotten in his life, proven by his prominent bulge that he has to hide with his duffel bag.

Huh?

Sukuna stops, and back up 3 times to retrace his steps.

He does a double take.

A birthmark on the elbow?

Curling his spine and leaning his head down to check his phone, he zooms into her arm in the photo.

Something akin to adrenaline washes over him when he snaps his head up to stare at his dorm building that’s 4 steps away from him.

It’s you.

Sukuna takes 3 steps up the stairs towards the 2nd floor, lift be damned. The urgency he has is unlike anything he has ever experienced before. He knows which dorm you’re at, he knows the exact door number. That clumsy, awkward girl at dorm 404. That blue girl he bumped into at campus. The one he’s been sexting these past few months. It’s you. It’s you. All this time, you’ve been right under his fucking nose, 2 floors under his fucking dorm!

cursedguy07 : u in your dorm?

sleepyGirl_04: ya i am

cursedguy07 : open the door.

sleepyGirl_04: what? like my dorm door??

cursedguy07 : i’m right outside your door.

Back against your door like you’re in Scream, toothbrush in your mouth and foam running down your jaw comically, one might describe you as a properly horrified individual.

Cursedguy07, no — Sukuna is at your fucking doorstep!

He found out! He found out!

While you’re in lame pajamas and wet hair and toothbrush in your mouth like an awfully cliche wattpad story!

I am NOT getting sold to One Direction!

Your phone keeps pinging with text messages, and it’s all you can muster with your cowardice to check them.

cursedguy07 : that came out wrong

cursedguy07 : i’m not confronting you by any means

 cursedguy07 : i’m just excited to see you

 cursedguy07 : i can go if you really don’t want to see me

 

Holding onto your toothbrush like a klutz, you hastily text Nobara about it ASAP, ignoring his message. Time is quite literally a ticking time bomb right now and it’s outside your door less than a feet away.

You : WTF GIRL HES FUCKING HERE AT MY DOOR

 

Nobara : who?

 

You : SUKUNA

 

Nobara : ok? we already established that he found out who you are

Nobara : it was inevitable like

Nobara : literally just open the door damn

You : no im scared im gonna ask him to go

Expecting moral support from Nobara in your dire situation, you presume she might come over and help distract Sukuna away so you can get ready in a better outfit and face him.

But her next text makes you freeze.

Nobara : girl can i be honest?

 

You : yes..?

 

Nobara : i love you but you’re legit a fucking coward sometimes

 

You : what

 

Nobara : r u actually gonna let ur insecurities rule over your life

Nobara : like this fucking dude alr knows who u r and CAME OVER to see u

Nobara : and u want to turn him away because what?

Nobara : u’re underdressed? ugly? out of his league?

Nobara : u love to fucking self sabotage and ur neurotic AF

 

A message pings above Nobara’s chat.

cursedguy07 : im just gonna go back to my dorm for now

Nobara : ur so insecure to the point where its pathological and holding you back from many open doors and opportunities simply because you have a parasitic rot inside you that’s planted by YOU

Oh.

cursedguy07 : didn’t mean to scare u

Nobara : u’re turning away a guy that alr likes u just to prove yourself and everyone who ever doubted you right

Your chest feels tight. Making your best friend angry was way more suffocating than getting hounded by the door.

You : have u ever doubted me?

 

Nobara : if you don’t open that goddamn door for him, then it might be the first time i ever doubted you.

 

 

 

Riding on Nobara’s trust and your romantic endeavours on the line, you gurgle your mouth clean and burst out your dorm door, catching Sukuna just in time as he walks down the corridor with his duffel bag over his shoulder. The ‘07’ on the back of his jersey seems to mock you.

“Su-SUKUNA!” You call out with all your might.

He turns around in alarm, watching you with wide eyes filled with confusion.

“Uh, yes?” He blinks a few times, unsure what to say. His chest is also heaving in time with yours, likely also nervous about meeting face to face for the first time ever, but in a rather ridiculous situation.

Waving your hand to gesture at him to come closer, you stand there like a malfunctioning scarecrow, shifting your foot to lean your weight on every 2 seconds out of nerves. Once he gets closer, you truly see him as him. Not the tenacious man on the rugby field, not the reserved guy every morning at the lift, and certainly not the teasing boy you text online.

Infront of you is Sukuna, the real thing in his flesh. Lips pursed with subtle tension, pierced brow twitching with almost unnoticable anxiety, and a faded flush on his cheeks. The sweat from his match is still there, and when it glides all the way down his throat, his adam apple swallows.

He’s just a guy. You’re just a girl.

“Hi. Hey.” You try not to imagine yourself as Eugene from that one scene in Tangled where he smiles all crooked and suave to seduce Rapunzel.

“Hi.” Sukuna’s voice comes out gentler than you’d expected, you both are now two scarecrows. He adjusts his duffel bag and you sniffle. You both are now two malfunctioning scarecrows.

“Soo…” Your hands comes up to your hips, “I guess this is…me. Yeah. Hello.” You tell him your name in a ‘poised’ greeting, smiling hard with all 32 teeth of yours in hope to exude 100% of friendliness of a flight attendant. I’m silly. He drags his eyes on you from head to toe. I’m silly.

To your utter surprise, Sukuna looks away with a soft chuckle, eyes crinkling with embarassment himself, before scratching the tattoo on his nose bridge for a second.

“You uh, got some—” Awkwardly, he points at your face, nodding at the corner of your lips, “Cream? Paste? Something foamy—”

“Oh! Shit, it was toothpaste. I’m stupid sorry.” You wipe, blushing.

“I didn’t say you’re stupid.” His hands raise in a placating gesture.

“No- yeah I know, I mean—” You cover your mouth, closing your eyes, before you blurt out, “Do you wanna come in my dorm?”

Sukuna’s brows raises high up till his forehead creases three. He looks to where your dorm is at.

“Sure, I gotta shower first,” His hands gesture down his fully body, sweatsoaked with a muddy jersey, “I kinda smell.”

Your mouth forms a dramatic ‘O’ shape.

“Oh you can shower at my dorm! I have like shampoo, and I got like towels too! Whole package!”

Sukuna finally grins at your eager offer, the previous nervousness in him fading. He cocks his head to the side with mischief.

“Woah, sweetheart. You’re inviting me to shower together? Moving bit fast aren’t we?”

Hearing him call you that term of endearment verbally feels terrifying, in the best way ever. Before you could even gather yourself to respond in a ladylike manner without getting tongue-tied, he’s already pointing his thumb over his shoulder at the lift, muttering that he’ll return after. You only realize that your offer was useless anyways, since you didn’t have any clothes that would fit him.

Sprinting back to your room, you slam your door shut and start ‘Operation : Clean My Fucking Room’ before your romantic interest gets turned off by the amount of books and video game covers scattered like tomato seeds on fertile soil under your bed. Mouthing ‘oh my god’ every second as you shove all your things into one corner and pretending that you’ve always been Ms Clean Girl. Turn away all your plushies to face the wall so they don’t start a bonfire and make a joke out of you later when you are sure to become a bumbling mess infront of Sukuna again.

Patting down your bed, you quickly text Nobara again to update her.

You : I MET HIM!!!

 

Nobara : my god girl good for you

 

You : thank u for believing in me…i love u…besto friendo…

 

Nobara : bye u sound like Todo

Nobara : for a second i was worried u’d actually bail on him

Nobara : so what u gonna do now?

 

You : i invited him over, i guess we’ll talk??

Nobara : wear protection girl

 

You : STOP IT WE NOT GNA DO THAT SO FAST

 

Nobara : im just sayin

Face red with the idea that Sukuna being alone in your dorm room with you, you start to regret not owning any pieces of sexy lace lingerie. Damn it, if you really do ‘the do’ with him, are you really going to still be in your tame sports bra? But then again he must know you’re not experienced with the birds and bees, so you get a pass, right? Or will he find your lack of effort unappetizing? Eugh…

You : m scared im gna say smtg dumb

 

Nobara : im pretty sure the guy has the hots for u bc of that atp

Nobara : like ur his fetish and this is ur niche

 

You : i hv no idea what ur talking abt…

 

Nobara : hes an athletic guy at the prime age of his sexuality and u’re a virgin

Nobara : just wear protection pls

 

You : not that fast omg stop

Ah! I’ll make him tea!

Running to your small kitchen counter, you get out some tea leaves from the cupboard, throw it into a teapot and let it simmer in hot water. The sizzling sound soothes the tension in you.

“Can I come in?”

The muffled sound of Sukuna’s voice comes from beyond the door, and you rush to open it like a butler on the clock. Jesus, you must look eager.

He emerges from your door. As if a cloth hanger, the loose white tee on him hangs perfectly, tight at the shoulders and straight down his torso. Not too tight, not too loose. It seems he values comfort more than showing off his guns. Not that you’re looking at his biceps. You’re not that shallow. Um. He’s also just wearing his rugby shorts. You point at your bed and he sits down slowly like a first time customer at a bar.

He’s really large in scale, you think. He’s like Godzilla invading into your safe haven. You shake your head away at the funny thought.

Handing him the cup of tea, he gracefully accepts it and grabs the cup with one hand. You warn him about the heat, but it seems that he doesn’t feel it at all. Sukuna takes a sip while you plop down next to him on the edge of your bed, looking down at your feet, and then his, which are almost twice the size of your foot, his complexion is slightly tanner as well. It’s a mystery that he doesn’t have any ingrown toenails considering the sports he plays.

“You have neat toenails.” Your state, pointing at his feet.

“You think?” Sukuna looks down at his own feet, wiggling his toes a bit to make you giggle, then he playfully places his foot ontop of yours. You stack yours on his. Then he does it again. Then you do it too. Then you’re both playing footsie in the goofiest manner possible until he puts away his cup of tea on your nightstand to win your immature game. Eventually he grows unaware of his strength and step harder, making you squeak like a mouse and lose your balance, grabbing onto his side. You reflextively apologize but Sukuna grabs onto your arms tighter.

“Nah it’s ok. Come, come here.” He pulls you in closer to his side, then you find yourself lightheaded with the aroma of his flowery shampoo and the residue smell of shaving cream. Perhaps he shaved his jaw while he was showering earlier. Perhaps he also cleaned himself up nicely to look composed to hide the twinge of boyish nervousness in him. Thigh to thigh, his hand lands on your waist. It’s warm…

“Is this your first time in a girl’s room?” You ask shyly, trying to distract yourself from staring at the thigh tattoo peeking out of his shorts.

“Uh, no.”

His answer slightly sinks your enthusiasm, your chest swelling with something indescribable.

“Second time?”

“Uhhhh…no.”

“Oh ok.” Sticky hands rubbing together in an attempt at covering up your disappointment that you’re both not experiencing the same kind of ludicrous ‘first time adolescent romance’ at 24 years old, you shut up. Looking out the window at the city, you wish Nobara would break into the glass and tell you what to do or say in Sukuna’s presence. Words are so much harder than just typing.

“Jealous?”

“Kind of…”

A beat of silence.

“Do you think I’m a promiscuous man-whore now?”

“What?! I didn’t even say that! I was just curious!” Quick to defend yourself, you look upwards at Sukuna, only to find him smiling with eyes full of mirth.

“I’m joking,” He pokes his tongue in his inner cheek before rubbing his hand up and down your waist in a rhythmic pattern, “Am I the first guy in your room?”

“Yes…If you put it that way it sounds so stupid…”

“It’s not stupid, you need to stop using that word to describe yourself.” He chides. “I’m glad only I claimed your space.”

“Wow, so territorial.”

“Yeah I’m a primitive animal. Rawr.” He dryly speaks in amusement, watching your form shake with your laughter.

“I just,” Your fingers fidget with the hem of his shirt, “I thought we were like, nervous together. Like it’s not just me freaking out about you know, being with each other? For the first time? ‘Cursed guy o seven’?’”

“Well, ‘Sleepy girl o four’,” He laughs, “It’s not my first time holding a girl, yes, but definitely my first time being serious about someone. Nerves.”

Sukuna lowers his head down after that, starting to sniff your hair, then inhaling the scent of your skin at your neck despite you shrinking slightly away. You wonder if you smell sexy and arousing, but you know it’s just the residue smell of laundry detergent. Sometimes your own hyper-awareness makes you internally laugh. You once tried to convince Novara that everyone had their own ‘sitcom audience laugh.mp3’ in their own heads, but she said only you possess this superpower.

“Do you wanna go on a date with me-”

“Yes.”

The speed of your reply renders both of you frozen and speechless.

“-next Sunday?” Sukuna’s smile slowly forms with a teasing quirk of his brow, watching the embarrassment register on your face until you have to look away.

“Woah. No playing hard to get at all.”

“Shaddap.”

“Not even a pause.”

“Stop.”

“You’re braver online.”

“Ok well you too.”

“You’re right,” He blows some air on your nape, “I am holding back right now.” He whispers into your ear, and you assume its his lips touching the shell of it because you don’t have the balls to turn your head. Well you really don’t have balls, anyways.

Sukuna pulls away with a pat on the top of your hair, vanishing your anxieties. He pulls you up your bed and twirls you once, before pulling right into his chest for a hug, with a small “oof” from you.

His hands press on your shoulder blades and your shoulder, while you hesitantly hug him back, almost encircling the entire circumference of his waist. It feels like hugging a tree trunk. Your hands rub his lower back too, but you feel like his backscratcher if you’re being honest. Koala backscratcher. You giggle against his pecs.

“Ok, it’s late. I have to go before my head starts to jumble into a mess and I think about doing lewd things to you.” He rubs your head again.

“Whot?” Darting your eyes up sheepishly, your nose and your lips are still pressed against his chest. From the low angle you’re peering at, Sukuna looks troubled with dilemma.

“Don’t act like you weren’t quite literally seducing me this entire time.”

What?

You’re dressed in boring pajamas, long pants, plain long sleeve tee. Didn’t he say it’s not his first time holding a girl? Is Ryomen Sukuna reacting to the skin of your nape as if a victorian man seeing a bare ankle?

His heartbeat is kind of erratic too.

“You act as if im wearing a bikini…”

“It’s not about the clothes.”

Oh.

This was probably what Nobara was referring to. That you’re a niche fetish and Sukuna is the sole enjoyer. You could wear a trash bag and he’d think you’re propositioning him to do something naughty. If you one day turned into a USB cord, he might be the only buyer in the market. Something something when there’s demand there’s a market. Will you still like me if I was a worm? Sukuna might buy a terrarium and feed you maple leaves everyday for your steady growth.

“Are you getting horny over my lame outfit?” You joke, but the banter never continues, instead he frowns. You’re afraid you said something wrong that ruined the mood.

“Stop saying deprecating things about yourself.” His brow furrow tighter. “I don’t like the way you talk about the person I like.”

Oh…

He likes me…

You blush like a babbling school girl and he kindly spares you.

“Got that in your head?” He gruffly commands more of a statement than a question.

You nod, and Sukuna runs his thick fingers through your hair, helping you detangle when it gets stuck at the ends. He’s quite gentle, or maybe you’re romanticizing him too much and finding every little thing he does charming and especially caring.

“Hm.” He mumbles.

“Hm.” You agree.

Understanding the cue, both of you let go of each other with a wistful expression. Sukuna rubs your head one last time before smiling at you and leaving out your dorm.

The silhoulette of him walking away makes you feel distant, not just in a physical way.

“Su-Sukuna!”

He turns his head once to look back at you by your door.

“See you!” You wave with the full swing of your arm.

He grins a little cheeky before he responds.

“S-see ya, sweetheart.”

He goes into the lift.

Wait. Did he just mock me? Asshole.

— —

He woke up in the morning and got out of bed with a boosted spring in his step.

As Gojo would say, Sukuna looked “geeked as hell” when he came to practice. Pat every rookie on the back, encouraging thumbs up to a junior when he messed up his pass, and didn’t get mad when someone’s elbow cracked right into his nose. Sukuna looked crazy happy to have a nosebleed. Gojo gossiped to the others that he might have his food laced with steroids before this.

“Bruh, are you good?” Gojo pokes Sukuna cautiously in the shoulder while he eats, it’s the same as interrupting a bear during his feast.

Sukuna doesn’t get mad, however. Instead, he smiles with his cheeks full of rice, nodding his head like some automatic machine. Gojo recoils in disgusted shock. Sukuna being giddy? Talk about the element of surprise.

“Water probably clogged up his brain, fuck knows.” Toji’s finger swirls at his temple as a gesture to call Sukuna a crazed individual, which is then rewarded with two painted middle fingers from Sukuna.

“I got a hot date next Sunday, loser.” Sukuna emphasizes the ‘hot’ with his lips, nonchalant about the way Gojo and Toji both cringe at him talking with his mouthful. He manuveurs and turns his middle fingers towards Gojo too. Double combo. Gojo flips him off in return, but since he doesn’t have cool black painted nails, Sukuna deems it an ineffective rebuttal. Brutality.

“So you finally bagged that sleepy girl three or whatever.”

“Ahem. We go by our real names now. ‘Cuz we real together and all.” Sukuna corrects Toji with a high and mighty tone, shading Toji about his slow progression with his own relationship.

“Man fuck you.” Another show of middle fingers.

“I’d gladly fuck a handsome dude like myself, thank you.” Sukuna mock bows with a hand at his chest with a funny accent, and everyone at the table gags in response.

“I don’t like it when you’re happy.” Toji grumbles.

Sukuna’s hand raises up to perform threaterics, painting an obscene picture of him with his slow, romantic words.

“I’d do myself raw, with no depressing barrier of a condom between our pulsing bodies. Flesh against flesh. Make sweet, exhilarating love—”

The entire table boos and groans.

“As Man’yoshu would say, ‘Thick and fast stream my thoughts of you. Like the layers Of endlessly falling snow upon the cedars. Come to me at night, my man!’”

“Eugh! Get this fucker out my face, yuck!”

The men scattered away like flies after lunch, desperate to get away from a suddenly optimistic Sukuna. He has a habit of quoting poems and cite papers that he has read in the past for his weird sense of humour. Sukuna chuckles to himself, throwing away his apple juice carton and heads back to his dorm.

Heading up to his dorm feels different now. An impulsive thought always in the back of his mind to press “2” on the lift buttons and barge into your dorm to see you. But he’s busy. You’re busy. The knowledge that you’re so close yet so far gets him antsy. Proximity is torture just as much as convenience.

Getting cozy after showering, he crashes himself on his bed, clipboard in hand.

Ryo : hey

 

You : hai!

You : how was practice i just woek up

 

Ryo : i can tell

 

You : rude

 

Ryo : is there anywhere u wna go for our date?

Ryo : or i plan it like a surprise

Ryo : also do u wna game tonight👍

Sukuna whistles to himself while waiting for your reply, putting on his reading glasses to start his engineering homework. He sharpens his pencil with a 18mm cutter and tests it out on the thin graph paper. The angle’s right. So he starts sketching.

The thing about sketching for Sukuna is that he needs the angle. He doesn’t need focus, doesn’t need attention, just the angle. That’s the key to his technique of drawing precise and fast sketches. Ever since the second semester of his first year of his architectural engineering degree, he realizes that using a sharpener was making him inconsistent. The blade sharpens the pencil inside the small tool, and he can’t control the angle of it. He tried to explain this concept to his classmates, but they all looked at him crazy.

In simple terms, its when your write with your pencil for an extensive amount of time, it will smooth out to a certain angle where your handwriting is perfect. That’s the sweet spot.

Manually using a cutter to shave the pencil down at one side would grantee him a good start. After his sketch, he scans for mistakes, and transfers it to Autocad. It’s easier this way, since he doesn’t have to stare into his laptop for too long. Strains his eyes.

You : yes i wna game!

You : can u download overcook 2

 

Ryo : my blood pressure might spike

 

You : do u mind if i scold u

You : im rly competitive at overcook

 

Ryo : i might get hard

“She’s gonna say I’m a pervert.” Sukuna smirks to himself, biting the tip of his pencil absentmindedly.

You : pervert

“Hah.” Grinning like he won bingo, he logs onto his Steam account and downloads Overcook 2.

You : also i think we should shop-hop for our date

 

Ryo : what?

 

You : like cafe hopping but like just different shops

You : like ok first we go eat soba then we go game store

 

Ryo : damn

 

You : then we go dessert and museum

 

Ryo : damn

 

You : then we go escape room then we go movie

 

Ryo : jesus fuck

Ryo : all that in under 8 hours? (assuming our date will start iat 12pm and end at night)

 

You : YESSSAAA! >0<

 

Ryo : sweetheart you either have insane time management or we’re gonna be speedrunning everything

Ryo : will u even have fun if you don’t savor every event

 

You : but the fun is with u!

Sukuna clicks his tongue and rubs the sore spot on the left side of his chest. That fuzzy feeling tickling his neck everytime he rereads your text. He’s been infected with Girlfriend-19.

Ryo : ok how abt this

Ryo : u let me plan it so it’s more manageable

Ryo : js tell me what u wna eat first

 

You : i want zaru soba

 

Ryo : done

 

You : banana ice cream boat

 

Ryo : done

You : chocolate mochi with strawberry

Ryo : done

“Well. Time to get my homework done.” Putting aside his engineering assignment, Sukuna goes into serious mode to search up small streets in Kyoto he could bring you to visit. Sure, he could simply bring you to the bigger streets, but those are usually filled with tourist and heavy traffic. It’s more romantic and peaceful to go to hole-in-the-wall places without all that excessive chatter. Just the two of us. And food. Man I’m starving. Wait.

He unlocks his phone one last time with a wry smirk.

Ryo : wow, so much food. im starving

You : isn’t it…drools..

Ryo : i hope ur on the menu too

“She’s either gonna say ‘gross’ or ‘pervert.” He snorts.

You : i wanna eat u too

You : hehe

You : ur rly big so theres alot to chew

He didn’t see that coming.

Ryo : ur trying to provoke me.

 

You : is it working? 👀👀👀👀👀

This girl…

He rolls his eyes with amusement. He had to step up his game.

Ryo : ur all big talk online, but when i was there you couldn’t even look me in the eye

Ryo : can dish cant serve

 

You : ok well

You : to tell u the truth

You : i wanted to bite ur bicep when u were here ystd…

You : i thought abt it but i was too shy ok u win

Sukuna almost chokes on his saliva, but his dignity remains. An imagery of you, flushed red and biting down on the meat on his arm flashes across his eyes, and he shivers.

“I better take a nap.” Adjusting his shorts, Sukuna plugs his phone on the charger and decides to sleep it off. He has to be on good behaviour for the game later tonight, but he’s sure when you get all nitpicky and angry with him, his mind is going into the gutter again.

— —

“I think you should layer that t shirt over the long sleeve one.”

Nobara chews on her chips over facetime, pointing her fingers at your outfit. You give 360 spins to her every outfit you change out of, clothes overflowing your bed and your floor scattered with shoes and socks to match.

Who knew picking an outfit for a date was going to be so hard? A dress was too unpractical for the activities Sukuna might have planned, but pants might be a little too casual. But maybe it doesn’t matter?

“If I were you, I’d go with that black flared jeans and that layered shirt. Do black on that navy blue.”

You listen to Nobara and dress up as she says, throwing your clothes all over the place. You turn left, then turn right.

“Nah.” You reject it.

“Yeah fuck that actually.” She agrees.

“You know what,” You speak, determination seeping into you tone, “I think I know what to wear.”

Diving deep into your closet, you find your old luggage bag, sneezing twice as the dust is the first thing to greet you. This was the luggage your mother has kindly packed for you before you came to Kyoto to study. There was thicker jackets and other not-so-casual outfits that you left behind inside it. Going through the layers, you found what you were looking for. Giving a few generous pats and spraying it down with fabric refreshners, you wear it and give it a twirl for Nobara to judge.

“That looks beautiful on you! This one this one!” Excitedly pointing at the screen, Nobara’s short hair sways a little with her, it’s a little funny. Her oily fingers dirty the her phone screen, so she bids goodbye with hope for a successful date. Her use of the word ‘successful’ reminds you of those mini games you used to play when you were younger, a school girl lasering her eyes at men on campus to win them over with seduction. Pssh. We used to play anything.

A careful knock on the door seizes your attention, grabbing your brown leather bag and stuffing it full with necesscities. What if you sneeze with snot? Tissue. What if your lips get dry? Vaseline. What if you run out small change? Some coins. What if—

“Hey, you ready?”

“Yep! Yep!” You hurry to open the door.

The sight that greets you at the door makes your lips part involuntarily. Sukuna mirrors your reaction, longingly savouring your appearance from head to toe, lingering his eyes at the flowers embroidery on your burgundy sleeve shirt, down to the flowery vines on the ruffles on your white long skirt down to your ankle. Paired with black leather boots.

Sukuna is dressed rather boldly in contrast. A white tank top with his dogtag necklace, a vintage leather jacket hanging on his shoulders. It’s miu miu. Okay, fancy money. Accomodating to the style and his muscular thighs, he doesn’t go for a classic skinny jeans, but a black cargo pants, paired with black boots as well. We match shoes! His pink hair is slightly combed back and less unkempt as usual, but you can tell the strands at the front is fighting for their life to go back to their unruly ways.

A small red nick on the underside of his jaw makes you smile to yourself. He shaved again just to look clean.

A bonquet of artificial flowers appear behind him as he reveals it rather slowly, a charming but sly smirk on his face. You once mentioned on text offhandedly that you were allergic to pollen. He remembers… It’s not just any flower as well. It’s Forget-Me-Nots. The blue hues of the flower complements your outfit.

“I don’t even know what to say. I think you camouflage right between these flowers I brought. You’re my little doll.” Sukuna stands there unmoving as he murmurs more to himself than to you, unable to peel his eyes away from the embroidery and the meek look on your face. He doesn’t stop even when you seem to hint at him to make room for you to walk out.

“You really think I look like a doll?” You grab ahold of the flowers, placing them neatly on your desk. You’ll arrange them later when you come back from your date. Maybe you’ll buy a nice little vase.

“You are a doll. Like those tiny Kokeshi dolls.” He holds your door for you, you lock your door and slip your key into your bag. “My mother used to collect a bunch of them,” He stares you down one last time, “Guess I see the appeal now.”

Puffing your cheeks to suppress a smile, you follow Sukuna to the carpark of your dorm building. You only been to the basement once since you didn’t have a car. Nobara has a scooter, and you both came down to the basement that summer. She then drove right into a parking ticket barrier. The rest is history.

Sukuna’s Toyota comes into view.

“Sorry. No dashing race car.” Less of an apology but rather a tease thrown at you.

“Well, I do have a dashing hot ride.” You finger point at him like a clown, and he scoffs before opening the door for you, climbing into the driver seat himself after.

“Touché, m’lady,” He mimics a mob boss in a soap opera, rubbing his hand over his chin in contemplation, “You wish for a dashing hot ride?” His hand comes up to obscure the side of his mouth in a secretive whisper, leaning over the centre console and closing the distance until he’s right by your ear, “It’s gonna be on my lap.” He pops the p.

“Yeeerrrr!”

“And you’d gotta brace for turbulence because you’ll bounce—”

“Ewww!'“

Turning on the engine of his car, Sukuna reverses out the parking lot, boisterously laughing like he’s been holding it in for a millenia. He predicts every single out of your attack combos, instinctively dodging your slaps on his arm, ending up grabbing your wrists to stop you before he crashes the car.

Along the highway, he turned up the radio, but then fusses about the horrible music and allows you to bluetooth connect your shared playlist you both created months ago when you were still strictly online. The playlist was a whole mess anyways. From the most depressing mitski song to the most outrageously loud hyperpop music, and a sprinkle of classical choir to metal music, guess you both were just enjoyers of anything, really.

Even if you were singing off-key, the both of you continued to terrorize the other drivers in the highway, especially since Sukuna had his side of the window open, knocking his knuckles against his car door with the beat of the melody. You actually anticipated him to be a rather tempered and uncouth driver with a potty mouth, but he mostly just whispers ‘the fuck?’ under his breath everytime a car cuts his line.

“There we go. Come on, let’s go.” Parking his car on the side of the road, Sukuna waits for you to gather yourself and hop out of his car. The part of town he brought you to is a more rural side of town, which is great. He did his homework. Cheaper food, and more to explore. No tourists to take up the queue and seats at the restaurant since their menus are only in japanese. The parking is also free since there’s less traffic.

Walking side by side, he pushes you gently to the safer side of the pedestrian path, away from the cars. It’s these little gestures that make you feel dizzy around him. So quaint. He already looks so handsome today, and these gentlemanly actions were making you wanting to chew off a piece of his face from a place of violent affection. A mother holding her child passes by you, and you grow aware of Sukuna’s hand dangling out of the sleeves of his jacket. It always comes so naturally to you to hold your family or your friend’s hands, but it feels like an impossible challenge to try to hold onto his hand. Is it too fast?

The thought disppears when he pulls you into a local restaurant.

“Zaru soba!” You chirp at the menu.

“Yup. Go on and praise me.” His arrogant grin wipes away your cheery beam.

Lunch passes by fast. You learn that Sukuna is quite good at conversation. He’s knowledgable about little trivias regarding the town or the food you’re enjoying. He’s like a walking encyclopedia and a poet. Apparently his head is always just running. Everything reminds him of something he’s seen or read about in the past. Whether or not it’s a Carl Jung theory or a psychoanalysis of a character from a thriller book he read. Sukuna has this innate ability to just accurately pinpoint and relate one thing to another. It’s amazing. He’s amazing.

He brings you to visit a green house after dessert. It makes you come to realize how he can handle heavy workload from engineering and also be a co-captain to his rugby team, and then his 20 other hobbies. He’s green-fingered, good cook, well rounded in his academic subjects and adapt to environments fast. Zoning out as he complains about the near extinction of the endangered Rafflesia, you conclude it. The world can’t seem to contain Sukuna. The amount of drive, ambition, and the self-indugent way he lives his life, proves himself a bigger person than he comes off from his physicality. The world is his oyster, and it keeps instantiating ideas for his thirst for knowledge.

What is he doing with you? You don’t know. You think you’re blessed with being with a really smart guy. With really high expectations for himself. With a really mysterious and secretive private life he shares with no one but you.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

The words tumble out of your quivering lips before you can stop yourself, overwhelmed by this strong need to be connected to him. You were initially going to wait for him to ask you first, but you figured you can’t wait.

“My pleasure.”

Surely you’ve become a temporary schizophrenic when sparkly glitter and flowers start to appear behind Sukuna as he smiles like a cheshire cat at you, canines poking out to say hello. You just want to kiss all over the tattoos on his face. You just want to kiss his face. You just want to kiss him.

And how dare he look so adorable eating the banana boat ice cream. How dare he look so cocky when you feed him a spoon of chocolate ice cream. How dare he fuss over the percentage of cocoa in the chocolate.

“I got the bill. Winning tournaments pay me a good amount.” He winks nonchalantly.

How dare he pay for every meal even though you insisted to split.

The rest of the date is so nauseatingly wonderful that you feel like you just got off a rollercoaster. In the car, he assertively slapped his hand over yours on your lap and held it the entire way back to your dorm building. No novelty, no grand gesture. Simply held your hand like it was the most mundane thing in the world, like it was bound to happen. Then you thought, Wow. This might be my guy.

“Guess this is it.”

Reaching your door step, you still cling onto his hand, swinging it side to side like a whining child. You’re not sure where to start, to voice out how happy he made you today. Stepping on his boots, you make him wait for you to speak.

“Do…do you want to stay the night…” Your fingers lace over his rough ones, and his index finger points upwards.

“Look up.”

You listen and his chin rests snugly on the top of your head, his dogtags tickle the hollow of your throat as it dangles.

 “I didn’t buy any condoms.” He whispers.

“O-oh.”

Sukuna chuckles softly, not needing to look down to know you have your face buried into your palms, hiding into his jacket.

“I didn’t say anything about sex…” You lightly pull on his jacket.

“Uh, you don’t just say ‘d-do you want to stay the n-n-night’ after a date if you don’t want to do something.” He playfully mocks you, an ‘oof’ noise leaving him when u smack his chest.

“I thought guys always had condoms on the go…”

“I haven’t had sex in months.”

“Why?”

“‘Cuz I was busy talking to a certain sleepy girl zero four?” He coos in a manner to feign innocence.

You lift your head up in surprise. He’s been celibate ever since? That was like…approximately 5 months ago. Probably. You don’t have good memory on when you started talking online, only around June did you only cross into flirty grounds.

“I thought you were sexually active?”

“Okay now,” Sukuna lets you go and raises his hands up to your face, “I’m not sleeping with every woman in the world, alright?”

“Then?”

“I, well,” He scratches his nose, unsure how to explain without potentially upsetting you, “I used to have two flings, that’s all. One in high school and another during the early years of college. 17 and 21. I’m 26 now, alright?”

“17? That’s so early…” You gasp. When you were 17, you were still reading romance books online. It was also around that time when your friend introduced you to porn. To think that Sukuna was already having sex by that time… He must have given his virginity to someone else…

“Was your first time with a girl you like?” You pry.

He hesitates, “I would say no, not really. We were both 17 and curious. It was more of an impulsive decision on both our parts.”

“What about the second time? Like a time when you seriously enjoyed having sex? Did you kiss her?” You pry even further, voice cracking.

“I don’t think you should hear about this right now.”

“So did you like her or not?” Your voice cracks even higher.

“Okay, let’s just— come on-” Sukuna can sense that you’re about to cry, and moves quick on his feet to usher you into your dorm, pulling off his jacket and hanging it. He pulls you by your pinky finger to your bed, but you refuse to sit down with ‘outside clothes’. Heading to your bathroom to wash up, Sukuna takes the chance to sheds off his cargo pants, leaving himself in his black boxers to sit on your bed. He knows it’s really forward to strip himself down to his underwear right after a first date, but he can’t return to his dorm room to shower, at least not right now.

— —

He slaps his thigh to stop his leg from bouncing while waiting for you, feeling goosebumps prick his skin. You have a lot of plushies, and the laptop that you use to call him late at night was charging on your desk, with some figurines. He’s trying to think of something to make you feel better about his past flings, but his mind is eerily empty now. Sukuna can’t think of anything else other than holding you.

Emerging out from your shower, he admires your vulnerable form. Hair damp at the ends, tshirt collar soaked with droplets of water, comfy shorts hugging your thighs. A furious blush paints your face upon noticing he’s only in his boxers and white tank, tripping over yourself to sit next to him. Without much warning, he pulls you up to lap instead, folding his burly arms over your lower back. Then you’re straddling him and fisting the fabric of his tank top.

“The past is in the past, and it’s doesn’t define anything about me or my feelings as of now.” He speaks carefully, watching your reaction, “If I didn’t want to be here with you in your room, I wouldn’t be here in your room, simple as that.”

“I mean, what if you were in a situation where you couldn’t be with someone—”

“I have never been put in situation where I was forced to do something I did not want to.” He sternly interrupts you, and it stops your endless streams of questions from a place of insecurity.

“Look,” He adjusts you in his lap, pulling you closer, “I do what I want, when I want. I see who I want, when I want. If I don’t want to do something, nobody, and I repeat, absolutely nobody can make me do it.”

You nod, and his finger pulls on your lower lip so you stop pouting.

“What do you wanna do now?” He asks, pinching your hip between his thumb and index finger.

“I would really like to kiss you.” You murmur.

“Then kiss me you shall.” He smirks.

You lean in closer, until your nose tips touch, and nuzzle against his. Sukuna’s eyes droops down until it’s half lidded, lips parting slightly, waiting for you to make a move. Your eyes flicker to his, and he follows. Just when you’re about to bless him with the taste of your lips, you pull away with a scrunch on your nose, leaving him confused.

“Sorry I- I forgot.” You shut your eyes tight, trying to remember what you watched.

“Forgot?” He licks his lips, staring at your lips, then up to your eyes back and forth.

“I’m suppose to like, caress you first to stimulate you.”

Sukuna blinks at you before some electric signal connects in his brain and he instantly grasps something. No.

“Don’t tell me you watched a tutorial on how to kiss.”

He watch your eyes go wide, before looking away at the wall, then nodding like a baby caught with a hand down the cookie jar. You seriously watched some Youtube video on how to kiss and tried to apply it on him like a math equation. Sukuna desperately wants to laugh, but he hates that he finds it cute that you deliberately went out of your way to prepare yourself. Just who is the one taking the lead here? He suppose he could take the lead, but the obnoxious part of him wants to watch you struggle.

“Well, go ahead and apply it. I’m waiting.” He taunts you, feeling a little restless. His boxers are gradually getting too tight and too warm for his own good, and if you don’t make a move soon he might mentally combust and feel a ravenous beast take over him with primitive instinct. Then he’d have to excuse himself back to his dorm because he doesn’t have a condom and he’s surely not to put you at risk of whatever you both might do in the heat of the moment.

He waits til you caress his jaw, scratching your nails on his Adam’s Apple til it bobs. You’re feeling him up like you’re trying to film an ASMR video. You touch his collarbone and the tattoo on his shoulder, running your hands up his nape and ghost your fingers over the shell of his ear. Okay, you got moves. It’s definitely getting him hard.

Impatient, Sukuna brings your hand towards his chin, pushing your thumb on his chin. Up and higher, and it presses down on his lower lip. He grins all crooked and evil before pushing your thumb in his mouth.

You gasp with a stutter and he grabs your wrist, pushing your thumb deeper into his mouth until the pad of your thumb presses down on the bumps and ridges of his wisdom teeth. He closes his eyes and start to suck on your thumb, watching you through his blurry vision, watching you get hazy and entranced by him laving on your thumb.

What are you imagining? Him sucking on your tongue the same way? Your breast? Your…

He pulls out your thumb with a wet pop, let his drool trickle down your wrist. By your expression, he can tell you’re going to say it’s nasty or dirty. But then you keep quiet, and proceed to lick it up from your wrist.

“Jesus fuck,” It’s his turn to gasp, his hands moving to cup your jaw and pulling you in. Your lips meet with a knock of teeth, getting your head tilted by Sukuna’s grip. His nose lines up perfectly with yours, nose tip pressing into your cheek just the same on yours on his. Every time you pull away too fast or falter in the kiss, his hand on your throat squeezes once, and you moan quietly into his mouth to make him stop. He thinks you’re smart for picking up on his cues, but he also just likes to Pavlov you into thinking you have to make a sweet sound for him in response to a squeeze. Good girl.Now it’s his little party trick.

You kiss pretty sloppy, he thinks. It’s also really hot, because this is the best you can do from your inexperience. This is your first kiss, and you’re fondling with his tongue and biting at his lip and mushing your mouths together like mixing cake batter. You’re giving your all, so he has to give his all too. Give and take, give and take. You give him one swirl of your tongue and he sucks a purple bruise on your neck. You give him one choked whimper and he grinds up your crotch twice.

In the mist of the heated make-out his head starts to really spin. Conjuring up a thousand different position he can put you in, and one thing that he can put in your mouth. His hands reflexively squeeze your thighs once to regain the last ounce of self control he has. Sukuna tries to think about math. About engineering. About the shitty meal he had yesterday. Then your legs clench together helplessly and he yanks you off his mouth before he eats you alive.

“I..” Sukuna pants, watching the saliva string that connects your lips break apart, “I have my rugby final tomorrow. I can’t afford to exhaust myself the night before.” His chest heaves up and down, swallowing at the dazed and drowsy look on your face, before pulling you to his chest so you can lay down. His back leans on your headboard and he sighs.

That was so fucking close.

The both of you stay silent for a while, and he can only give a dry laugh when you burrow yourself into his chest because you start to gain awareness of what you’ve done. Your first kiss. He has to palm his boxers so the traitor in his pants doesn’t jump out to scare you.

“Sukuna.”

“Yeah?”

“That was really nice.”

“Oh yeah. It was.”

“All the best for your match tomorrow.”

“You bet.”

“Is rugby really important to you?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re really good at rugby and you’re really cool on the field.”

“Thank you sweetheart. I think you illustrate beautiful designs for your class as well.”

“Thank you…I don’t know how you manage to juggle rugby and engineering.”

“It’s not that hard. I make time for things I want to do.”

“Why engineering though? It’s so different from rugby.”

“I make time for things I want to do.”

“But like why?”

Oh, so it’s going there now. Right. The part that Sukuna dreads the most.

“It’s complicated.” He simply states. You get up from his chest and look at him all pitiful like a cat that’s about to ask a curious question that will kill you and you will start to resent him for it. He braces himself for the inevitable.

“Complicated how?”

Here we go.

“Familial expectations.”

What kind of expectations?

“What kind of expectations?”

It’s exactly the way he predicts it to go, except ten times more difficult to process when it’s with the person that he has grown fond of. There’s not really a roundabout way to put someone down slowly. Sukuna wished he could cradle you in his arms and lay you down a patch of lilies and put you to sleep, so you would stop running your mouth about this matter with his past.

“How about we talk about something else? I can tell you really interesting facts about the architectural structure of Amsterdam buildings.” He bargains gently.

“But I’m soooo curious about my boyfrienddd…” You whine sweetly, ignorant to the strained tension in his neck.

“And I’m really tired and I want to sleep.” He fakes a yawn. You don’t slip past it this time.

“Come onnn, you don’t sleep this early. We used to game all the time past midnight. You’re avoiding the question.” Your hands are now clutching his shoulders and Sukuna fears he might peel them away so he could leave. Not you, but the question.

He exhales once out of his mouth.

“Once again, my past does not define who I am and the choices I make in the present. It doesn’t matter, and you don’t need to know about it. It’s not pleasant to hear.”

“You think I can’t handle it?” Your voice grows tense.

“It’s not a matter of if you can, or cannot. It’s just,” He looks at you, really looks you, “It’s none of your business and not something you need to concern yourself with.”

He watch the stubborn frown grow on your face, then it morphs into something offensive and insulting.

 “You said familial expectations. I thought you said no one could ever force you to do anything you don’t want to.”

Now it completely blows over.

“You know nothing about the context regarding the circumstances I have willingly subjected myself into. So, no, nobody has forced me to do anything, but I have things that I expect myself to complete that does not concern our future together. I suggest you drop this topic.”

 “Why are you suddenly speaking this way? Don’t you trust me? Being together is about sharing happiness and shouldering burdens!” You argue back as Sukuna gets up and dresses himself, pinching his nose bridge to tune you out. Unfortunately he has honed senses.

“So now you’re the master at togetherness and dating?” He barks back cold and cruel, while you stand up on your bed to get on his eye level so he does not have an automatic advantage in the argument when it comes to height.

“You’re being mean.”

“This is who I am.”

“That’s not what I said,” You clench your fist, “You’re intentionally being mean. You don’t want to share things about yourself because you’re being a coward right now.”

Sukuna scoffs so loud you think you’ll remember it for the rest of your week.

“Firstly,” He starts, looking into your red-rimmed eyes, and he knows there’s no going back now, “There is absolutely nothing you can do to ‘shoulder’ my burdens or whatever hardship that you think I’m going through. Because I’m not. Secondly, I do not wallow in self pity nor do I struggle with insecurity.” And that’s hinting about you. “Lastly, our relationship has not progressed to a stage where I am obliged to share personal information with you.”

Your face goes blanch.

“So I’m expendable?”

He rubs his face and grabs his jacket from the hanger.

To make matters worse, Sukuna does not slam your door when he leaves. He closes it quietly, and there’s no sound of his boots stomping down the hallway.

—- —

“Ok I guess it’s really fuck him this time.”

“Nobara! Stop, I can’t. I can’t.” Getting tears and snot all over her shirt, you wail and cry like a baby in Nobara’s room as she does her homework. It’s been a week since you’ve spoken to Sukuna, and the dam of tears that you held in since the fight has finally broke down and overflow. The urge to throw up is strong.

“I’m sorry for you girl, I really am, but it really might be over. I mean, that fucker even bashed you about your insecurities. It’s karma he lost his final game.” Nobara pets your head and rubs your back while you hiccup, shaking your head.

“Stop, I’m not happy he lost the game. Nothing to do with it at all. I just- I just don’t understand why he would rather not speak to me anymore than talk about his family or his past. All I asked was ‘why engineering’…” You cry harder, replaying the entire fight in your head again and again and again. He didn’t even say anything about the loss of his game too.

“Men kind of just switch up like that. It’s easier for him to buy you flowers than apologize, I suppose.”

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

“Hey, no. The time you have spent with him was valid and it was sweet. Doesn’t erase the affection you both shared during the date. What matters now is how you navigate the fight, or, how you move on from this.” Nobara soothes you until you stop sniffling into tissue papers that are taking up half of her desk, sighing as she finishes her drawing.

“What do you think about the lace design?” She shows you her sketch, and you rub away the tears in your eyes to squint at it.

“Think the cutting could be different.” Your voice stabilizes.

“Hm. I think so too.” She agrees.

The rest of your week passes by relatively slow. Usually you’d throw a tantrum over how fast time seems to move and how deadlines are always creeping up on you, but this time, your assignments are all handed in early, and you have nothing to do. Right. That’s because you used to fill your free time with Nobara, assignments, and playing video games with Cursedguy07. Now that the slot is empty, you have half of the day to yourself.

You figured you could just hop on the game and play it by yourself like you always have before Sukuna came into your life, but getting on the game was reminding you of him, then the date, then the fight, then it snowballs into you getting heartbroken again. You really, really, need to participate in three new hobbies to distract yourself and move on.

It’s immature to think that Sukuna has broken up with you over your first ever fight after dating for less than a month, however, it’s so bleak. Sure, he didn’t outright say ‘we’re over!’, but it sure feels like it. Sukuna is not the type to hold back when something does not benefit him, so he would have definitely voiced out a his want for a break up if he did truly desired it. But he didn’t. Yet there’s no messages at all.

For the sake of your pride, you obviously did not reach back out to him first. It’s not your fault anyways. Right…? Who knows at this point? He didn’t deny you were expendable, didn’t reassure you that you were crucial in his life. What’s the point?

So, you try.

Pottery class on Saturdays. Brilliant. Fun. Get your hands all wet with clay and shaping silhouette of little critters and lopsided teacups. Making a doll that looks like Nobara and she smudges clay on your cheek to make you squirm and giggle. A couple walks in with the boy planting a loving kiss to his sweetheart’s hair and your tears start to mix in with the clay, turning your body to face the blank popcorn wall.

Volleyball Fridays. Wooo, fun! Smacking the ball as hard as you can with misdirected anger and releasing tension. Great. Works you out in a sweat. Then you pan your head over and see a certain pink-haired rugby player scolding a junior and you have to pretend you’re blind and you’re not imagining yourself in place of that junior getting verbally abused by him.

Self love Sundays. You take long baths, scrub out all that grime from your skin and let the bubbles in the water engulf you. Dry yourself with a towel and wear a robe to sleep. The warmth of your bed lacks a heartbeat and heavy breathing, so you end up sleeping at 6 in the morning and wake at 8.

How?

How?

HOW?

“How the fuck did people ever move on without blowing their shit clean offffmfnghh!!!!”

“Girl don’t fucking yell in my ear!” Nobara silences you by cupping your mouth with her hand, ignoring your protests.

“I lichrally feel liek im goingfawking crazyyyy!” You shove yourself into her pillowcase.

“Stop rolling in my bed oh my god. Woah! Hey! Don’t get your spit on my pillow!”

“He called me his sweetheart and said it was his pleasure to be my boyfriend!! I’m expendable!”

“Girl please stop I beg you. You’re messing up my sheets!”

“He even sucked on my thumbbbbb arrghhghhhh!!”

“EW!”

“Should I text him first? Should I? Should I?!”

“Stop it! You madwoman! Don’t text him and give me your fucking phone! I’m confiscating it! Mine now! Mine!”

— —

“If you fumble this pass one more time, I think you need to man up and quit this fucking team, and quit sports altogether,” He snarls right into the poor rookie’s face, “Your technique is sloppy, you run as if you have asthma. Nothing you do is commendable, and you do nothing to contribute to the success of the team.”

“You’re actually being a fucking cunt right now,” Toji pulls Sukuna away by his shoulders, giving a chance for the younger boy to escape his wrath, “That loss was a group problem, not just on one guy. You know this, Sukuna.”

“You wanna run the replay back?” A painted finger jabs straight into Toji’s chest, making him grunt and back away one step.

“We ran that tape 4 fucking times already. Don’t act like you’re hot shit. What’s gotten into you? Stick up your ass? Broke up with your girl—'“

“We did not fucking break up. Don’t talk to me Toji. Piss me the fuck off,” Sukuna shoves at him, and Toji shoves back twice as hard, “Me and her are fine, thank you for your concern.”

He starts to walk off the field, and Toji follows.

“Oh really? I haven’t seen you smiling like a fucking idiot on your phone for like, what,” Toji counts his fingers with full ridicule, “2 weeks, minimum. Matter of fact, you don’t even reply to my messages too.”

“I still came to practice didn’t I? What? So sensitive about me not replying to your text, huh, Toji? What, am I your girlfriend?” Sukuna jeers at Toji sarcastically, arms wide open with his back towards him, Toji scowls.

“So you and your girl did argue!” Toji shouts.

Sukuna flips him off, not looking back.

“Fuck, I always wanted a reason to beat the fuck out of you!” Toji smacks his hand right across the back of Sukuna’s head. The impact makes a loud crack.

Everyone including Gojo approaches the commotion, until Sukuna ominously turns around slowly, and everyone decides minding their business.

Why does everybody love to stick their nose into his fucking business?

Sukuna took the stairs back to his dorm with a nosebleed and a pounding headache. He’s been taking the stairs these two weeks. No reason. He’s just pumping his thighs up and getting more work in his joints. He removes his kneepad and his socks, throwing them into his laundry bin. Frustratedly pulling off his sweaty jersey, he throws it on the bathroom floor before taking a shower.

Under the cold spray of water, Sukuna reaches for his body wash. He’s giving you space. He’s under the assumption that you’re an insecure 24 year old teenage girl and you need space to get mad and upset with him before he’s allowed to be within 10 feet of your proximity. So why is he also feeling irked even though he was the one to shut down the conversation? Sukuna knows. He does not like the answer to his own question.

Pressing down on his nosebleed hard, Sukuna groans long and low into the lull of his bathroom. He had implied that you were expendable and you’re nosey about your own boyfriend. Which he still thinks he stands by his statement, just not the expendable part. How is he suppose to articulate that he wants you around without you trying to get under his skin but he still really likes you and it hasn’t changed?

He squirts some shampoo onto his calloused fingers, wincing when the soap seeps into a cut in his fingernail. Isn’t the point of keeping a girlfriend, to make her happy? Happy wife, happy life? Why can’t you see he’s just trying to keep you away from all the unhappy filth? Is it necessary to tell you about…

Sukuna feels as if he’s back in his 17 year old mindset again. Haughty. One track mind. Fight anyone who doesn’t agree with him. Physically, academically, and athletically. There wasn’t anything in his life that proved to be any speck of an obstacle, other than his mother. He thinks about his mother, he starts to lose his sense of sanity. Video games soothe him, math relaxes him, doing physical activities boosts his dopamine reactors and makes him go into some kind of overdrive. High.

Slipping on his boxers and sweatpants, he looks around his room in search for his glasses, tidying up the stack of papers on his desk. Scratching the back of his neck, he decides to finish his homework, and his own extra side tasks he assigned himself.

The first shave of his pencil and the lead breaks off.

“So I’m expendable?”

He blows air out his nose and shaves it again until he gets it right, then he lands his pencil right on the paper. Clean cut strokes, it’s accurate…crooked form. Erase. Label the length, some tips to take note of…the pencil’s not right. Erase.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

No, no, no. It’s not the pencil’s problem. It’s his mindset. Clear your mind. Clear your mind.

“I would really like to kiss you.”

Fuck!

Sukuna stretches his arm across the vast horizon of his table to reach for his phone. To his horror, you had sent him three messages, then take it back afterwards.

You : *unsent a message*

You : *unsent a message*

You : *unsent a message*

Toji was right. Going on Do Not Disturb was a terrible idea.

His thumb anxiously taps on the side of his phone. For someone who was so literate, the words were flying away from him.

Ryo : hey

Too casual. Backspace.

Ryo : look im really sorry

Too flippant. Backspace.

Ryo : i miss you.

Too sleazy. Backspace.

“I’m turning imbecilic.” He announces to no one.

Ryo : hey, what did you send?

Ryo : i left my phone in my dorm while i was at the field

There.

Ryo : i missed you

Backspace.

“…More than I can say.” He bites his lip.

Ryo : more than i can say.

Backspace.

A good 5 minutes pass, and you finally reply. It’s probably Nobara’s advice to you to leave him hanging for a good while before texting back. He smiles to himself wryly imagining you sitting like a gargoyle, gawking at your phone to see if 5 minutes has passed yet or not.

You : i sent to the wrong number.

 

Ryo : cmon, don’t lie. just tell me what you sent.

Ryo : i care about what you think

Ryo : you can take your sweet time replying me, i can wait.

Sukuna assumes you’re going to leave him on the edge of his seat again, but this time you respond instantly.

You : i sent you a picture of your jersey at my place if you want to take it back

You : also sent you a picture of me at a bar

His eye twitches.

Ryo : you can keep my jersey

Ryo : im not taking it back, do not throw it away

Ryo : what are u doing at a bar? u don’t drink.

 

You : i was js

You : idk

 

Ryo : if you’re trying to make me jealous, it’s very immature

Ryo : but it’s working and im worried

Ryo : where r u

A chill over his body urges him to put on a shirt and grab his car keys and scour the entire Kyoto city for you, recklessly folding his papers away and slotting his glasses back into the casing.

Ryo : sweetheart this is not funny at all where are you

Ryo : is nobara at least there with you?

Ryo : did u consume any alcohol?

Ryo : can u describe the place? do you know the name of the place?

A notification from you regains his attention.

You : m back already
You : i js went to the bar to have fries and matcha

Sukuna covers his eyes with his arm, tilting his head up towards the ceiling with a loud relieved sigh.

“I think I just grew seven strands of white hair.”

A painful reminder on why exactly he likes you, really. Sometimes the things you say just throw him so off guard, Sukuna is not sure if he should laugh or get mad.

Ryo : can i come over?

 

You : nop

 

Ryo : can u come over?

 

You : y

Why are you texting like that? A vein pops on his forehead.

Ryo : why are u texting like this

 

You : like wat

 

Ryo : like you cannot be bothered to reply me

 

You : im js

His patience frays, feeling like clouds of smoke is about to puff out from his ears.

You : im trying to stay mad and upset at you but i cant and i dont want to reply you but i cant because i really miss u and its really pathetic to miss u so much when u were so mean to me

Oh, I see.

There are three bulletpoints of human behaviour that Sukuna relinquishes control to when it comes down to it. One, all the irreversible decisions that he makes, he will never to be regrettable about them. Two, the insatiable greed to never feel fulfilled with what he currently has. Three, the irresistible and fragile thing called ‘human connection’.

Ryo : i miss you more than words can convey

At any point of his life, he will find himself at cross roads with one of the three. Even if he hates it, he enjoys silly conversations between his teammates. Even if he had an endless appetite for knowledge, he never found the need to quench his thirst.

You : u dont soubnd liek u miss me

He would reverse all that arrogance he displayed when he was at your place that night.

Ryo : leave your door unlocked

 

You : i dont want

 

Ryo : i’ll tell you everything

Ryo : please

 

You : ok i will i guess. not bc u said plz but bc u said u’ll tell me

He grabs a thick file at the bottom of all his papers in his shelf.

You : actually can u say please again

— —

“Please open the door.” A deep voice knocks at your door despite it already being unlocked.

Smoothing down your tank top and your shorts, you pose into your mirror to try to look angry but seductive at the same time. Nobara said you should dress the way Padme did when she went to reject Anakin. So you went for a tank top that reveals your cleavage and tight shorts. Sukuna has to die one way or another.

He invites himself in while holding a blue file, and looks you up and down. No reaction. Eughhhh whatever.

Placing down the folder on the floor, like a Samurai getting ready for retribution, Sukuna kneels down on the floor with both hands on his thighs. Stunned and unprepared for his sudden grand gesture, you follow suit and sit crossed-legged on the floor. Sukuna follows you and sits crossed-legged too, so you don’t know what the fuck that was about. He’s strange in his ways too. Maybe he was just trying to get comfortable.

He clears his throat as if a speech by the president is about to happen and you’re all ears like the subservient follower you are.

“Firstly, I want to clarify that I meant what I said that night—”

“Excuse me?!” You blurt out.

“—As it would be in-genuine of me to say I didn’t mean what I said. I now regret my words, and I want to take it back.”

“Oh.” You shrink back.

“You were right. You’re my girlfriend, and there are certain aspects and history of me that you deserve to know, and have the right to know. I’m aware that I’m closed off, private, and quite autonomous.”

So formal…

“What I’m trying to say is,” Sukuna licks his lips once, and it’s the first time speaking came so arduous to him, “I cannot be without you and I’m willing to take the risk if that’s what it takes.” it comes out strong yet tortured.

You feel like a gust of wind just tore through your window and blew right into your face until it contorts into an indistinguishable expression. Sukuna apologizing and confessing his feelings so bluntly was causing you shell shock.

He looks up at you through his lashes and he genuinely looks like a dog breed you cannot recall the name of.

“I’m waiting.”

“O-oh! Right right! Uhh..” Put on the spot, you scratch your elbow. It trips you out when he’s so formal. Now he’s waiting for you to reply as if you’re both in a turned-base game and its your turn to strike.

“Do you want me to comfort you first or you listen to me run you down on my engineering career path?”

“Uhm..uhm, the latter please.” It’s like you’re ordering coffee.

Sukuna reaches for the folder, taking out some yellowed and old papers, and then turn them towards you, laying them one by one on the floor. It’s a scrawl of sketches, engineering stuff that you can’t understand, but you can tell they’re not finished. Some of the pen ink are smeared, some are fresh with his own handwriting. There’s another handwriting you don’t recognize.

“I took up architectural engineering because I enjoy architecture. That’s the minor factor. Major factor would be,” He rubs his nose, “Trying to complete my mother’s passion project.”

You look down once again to skim the papers. Indeed. The papers has his mother’s name on a few pages, albeit the faded ink.

“Sorry if it’s offensive, but I don’t get it. Why did you not want to tell me this? This seems completely, like, normal.” You chew on your words.

“Because I didn’t want to let you know that I was steering my path into life with someone else’s ambition as my goal. Going pro in rugby is what I truly plan to do after that.”

So it’s his pride.

“But I would understand though, like, it’s your mother?” Your brows furrow harder.

Sukuna’s mouth open and closes, breathing in and breathing out. He drums his fingers on the ground for a second.

“My mother had contributed to shape who I am today, despite my insistence that I am my own being. In a way, I chose to be blindsided about the after effects of her upbringing on me. But the choices I made are mine.” He rubs his nose.

“Um…Can you hold me while you talk? I want to feel close to you…” You meekly request, and he nods, gripping your arm and pulling you towards him, then grabbing your hips to sit you down on his lap, back against his chest. Feeling the familiar thrum of his heartbeat, you fidget with his fingers on your lap.

“Her papers and design are quite a challenge.” He holds up the paper towards you, letting your fingers run across it. The way he’s holding you resembles a mother reading a picture book to her child. You snort and he asks you whats so funny, you zip it.

“How was your mother like as a person?” You peer up at him.

“The only word that could encapsulate her is…self-sacrificial.”

“Can you stop talking in this really solemn way…I’m a bit scared I’m not going to lie.”

He blinks at you for a moment, before shrugging his shoulders and holding you closer until your hair tickles his chin.

“In simple terms, I hate her.”

“That escalated fast.”

“Yeah. But not hatred in the classic way.” He sniffles from the air conditioner, “My mother used to be very volatile. Everyday when I got back home school, I can never predict if she was going to throw a vase at me or tend to my wounds from the previous day.”

You hug his arm tight.

“I didn’t know what to do. I fought people at school for badmouthing her, even though I would wish for her demise behind her back.” The grip Sukuna has on his papers start to crinkle them, so you swiftly take it away and place it back down on the floor.

This is really cliche.

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t pity me,” He’s quick to cut you off, “It wasn’t her fault. She had postpartum depression.”

“Oh.”

“She was an aspiring engineering before she got pregnant. I can’t tell you the details on how and why she got pregnant with me, since I’m murky about them as well, but I can tell you she was fucking brilliant.” There’s a huge pride in his tone, almost as if he’s astonished.

No.

“I hate that she gave up engineering when she’s so good at what she does. This project—” You cover Sukuna’s mouth with your hand, and his eyes grow wide.

This isn’t what I wanted.

“I don’t want to know more. I respect your decision.” Your red nose and pouting lips tells him all that he needs to know, and he nods. You help him pack up all the papers and files and place them neatly into the folder again.

You turn around and loop your arms around his corded neck, noticing he didn’t wear his dogtag before he came. He really did only have a single mind to come to you after your text. His warm hands rubs circles on your back, making you feel drowsy and pampered. He plants a kiss on your shoulder and you return him a kiss on his ear.

“I guess I would hate it if you found out about this and think I’m some broken guy need fixing. I’m 26 and holding up well.” He whispers into the crook of your neck, trying to refamiliarize himself with the scent of your skin.

“I don’t think that way at all. I just wanted to know more about you. Because we’re like, you know, together…” You smile shyly against his skin.

“Hm.”

“Hm.”

“Haih.”

“Hehe.”

“Sweetheart.”

“Boyfie.”

“Wow we’re cringe as fuck.”

“We don’t have to tell people.”

“True.”

“Ya.”

“…”

“…”

“This is really inappropriate and horrible timing but I have an insane urge to fuck you right now.”

You pull away immediately with apple-coloured cheeks. Right after such a heavy conversation?!

“W-whot?! Really?! Why?!”

“Probably because we had like a breakthrough in our relationship? Something of the sort.” He shakes his shoulder, scratching the back of his neck, eyes a little dark, “Also your boobs were sitting really nicely the entire time we were talking and I’m going haywire.”

Your cheeks redden even more if its possible.

“S-so you brought a condom before apologizing to me?!”

“Obviously not,” He rolls his eyes, “We don’t need to have penetrative sex the first time. Unless you don’t want to do anything at all, then we can just sleep.”

“I want to have sex!” You raise your hand immediately as if you were being called on in class for popcorn reading, and Sukuna chuckles while holding his stomach, then holding you up by your waist and crash the both of you into your bed.

Sukuna immediately press his entire weight on you, smothering you with a kiss. It feels so natural to kiss now. Your hands snake into his undercut, then his pink hair, pulling onto it when his tongue goes too far down the cavern of your mouth and it feels like he’s taking oxygen from you. He breaks the kiss, licking his way down your jaw, then into your cleavage and you pull the collar of your tank top down until the cotton string makes a snappy sound.

Staring at your boobs, he parts his lips, wider, then sticks his tongue out a little, but then he stops.

“Do- do you like what you see…?” You try to be seductive, but the question sounded like you were expecting a bad grade.

“I fucking love what I see.” He grabs a handful of your boob and you feel shy when it slightly flows out in between his fingers. You whine and pull at his hair to get him to do something. As if he can’t be more of a tease, he blows cold air onto your nipples until it hardens and he stifles his laughter when you yank his hair harder.

His mouth finally latches onto your boob, and it feels like heaven on earth. Who knew having your nipples sucked felt this good?! You should make him do this more often as punishment when he makes you mad. But with the way he’s swirling, sucking, biting at your nipple, he would think it’s more of a reward.

You’re already quivering, whimpering with your head leaned back on your pillow, and the man still had the gall to press his freehand down between your legs. His thumb absentmindedly rubs over your clothed crotch until he finds the spot that makes you cry outloud and threaten to pull his hair out from the roots.

“S-sukuna please-”

“Feels really good, right? Getting your pussy rubbed so hard and your nipples sucked.” His mouth trails down to your belly button, giving it a kiss, before pulling down your shorts to reveal your cotton panties. You try to cover yourself up with your hands but he simply swats them away.

“I told you on call, you weren’t playing with your clit hard enough.” Two fingers tight together, he presses down on your clothed clit like a critical button. It makes you whine and kick your legs and he has to hold your legs down with a lovingly cocky smile on his face. “When I do it,” he watches a wet spot grow in the center of your underwear, rubbing fast circles on your clit, “You’d cum pretty fast.”

You do cum, and it’s fast and violent and you can’t remember if you bit down on your lip or Sukuna’s thumb. The cold pleasure electrocutes through your body and seemingly transfers to Sukuna as well. He wished he could say he ripped off his shirt in this really masculine and sexy manner, but he was in too much of a blur to get on top of you that his shirt almost yanked him down the bed due to his brute strength.

Your hands run down his bulky torso, the tattoos on his chest and shoulder.

“Do you like what you see?” He repeats after you, and you giggle at him turning his body to flex, showing off his back tattoo.

“I fucking love what I seeeeeee.” You repeat after him and pinch his pecs, and he groans from the pain-pleasure.

“You minx.” He smiles down at you with closed blissful eyes, thumb pushing into the waistband of his pants and boxers.

You lean back a little and he laughs.

“My dick is not Jack-In-The-Box, don’t worry. It’s not gonna jump out at you.” He shimmies out his boxers, “I am pretty fucking horny though. so it is really erect right now.”

Now, between your legs, there is a penis. To you, a penis is like a limited edition object you only see in porn. You’re no penis connoisseur, and you barely know your biology. Sukuna’s penis, no, cock, looks nothing like the ones in porn. He’s watching your reaction. You don’t know what to say.

“Uh, should I put it away or…?'“

“It…it looks like a really big worm.”

“Noted with thanks…?”

“And it’s like..thick. Like cactus…”

“You failed Biology, didn’t you?”

Sukuna has no idea why he got even harder and leaked more precum when you came closer to measure the length of his cock with your palm. How is he even hard after your absurd descriptions of his manhood, he has no idea. It’s really weird what a girlfriend can do to a man’s sexual libido.

“Is this 4 inches?” Your question was so genuine it made him cough.

“Are you trying to drive me fucking nuts? Because I can let you test out how ‘4 inches’ feel down your throat.” Sukuna dryly states, a hungry look on his face. He lightly taps the tip of his cock on your lips.

“What if I throw up on it?” You poke the tip and it jumps.

“Shit. If it happens, it happens. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.” Sukuna bites his lower lip.

You quickly shake your head, not prepared for that to go into your mouth. The pitiful look on your face gets him going really bad, he has to bite on his fists to not bust on the spot.

“For the record,” Sukuna pushes you down on the bed again, crawling above you, “That’s not just 4 inches, but it doesn’t matter since I won’t put it in for now.”

“What are you gonna do then?” You whisper, thighs squeezing together, feeling an uncomfortable wetness between your legs.

He kisses your forehead.

“Hump.” He speaks hotly into your face and pops the P.

Before you can even process how hot Sukuna looked, he grabs the fat of your thigh and slot you right between his own, angling it properly. Lowering himself down, you gasp when his cock presses against your underwear. Penises are warm. Hooking his finger into the side of your underwear, he pushes his cock in between the fabric, and you mewl. Directly into his ear, nail digging into his shoulder.

It’s so warm. It’s so hot. It’s so hot!

“Is- Is your precum mixing with my cum in my panties!” You blurt out and Sukuna grits his teeth, wondering if you’re saying all these things to test how thick the last rope of his self control it. You really meant it when you said you never had a guy in your room.

“I’m trying not to fuck you silly since we don’t have a condom, so kindly stop saying things that makes me want to shove it inside you, thank you very much.” He grits.

You think about it.

Really hard. Really really hard. Sukuna would take care of you. He promised. He wouldn’t do anything to make you feel unsafe. So it’s fine.

“Sukuna, come closer.” You pull him down until you’re chest to chest.

“What now?” His voice is strained.

“Honestly…I trust you..It’s ok with me if you want to go rougher a bit. If anything happens, you’ll buy me a Plan B, right?”

His eye twitches.

Sukuna says nothing and pulls your thighs up higher and wider, hooking them over his elbows.

“Wah-?!” You cry out when he suddenly bites down on your shoulder and start to move. Except he’s not thrusting with a building momentum, he went full throttle from the start! Your hands cling onto his back, feeling like you’re going to pass out from the heat inside your underwear. His cock is pushing against the fabric with every rut, and it’s getting completely soaked and sticky.

“F-fuck-” It feels so intense that you have to bite his shoulder to keep quiet when you cum the second time. Going into overstimulation, you sob and drool all over his shoulder, the ceiling on top of you is blurry and splitting into four from how fast Sukuna is rutting. He was serious about being celibate!

One harsh pull of his hair makes him release your shoulder to face you. You think you’re going to cum a third time from the look on his face. Sukuna’s hair is sticking up everywhere, and he’s drooling, his eyes are barely open. Completely lost in the pleasure and about to cum so hard. He drops his forehead right down at yours and moans right into your face. The volume catches you so off guard that you clamp your hand over his mouth.

His eyes roll back, hips stuttering with his thrusts. Pulling off your hand, he intertwines it with his own and pushes it down together at your lower stomach, where his cock is peeking out the hem of your panties and rubbing over your clit. There’s a sudden pressure on your stomach, and it feels like you’re going to pee. It feels like something is going to explode, so you whine as loud as you can to stop it.

“I-I feel like m gonna pee!”

“Its squirt."

He press down harder and you scream.

“You feel that pressure? It’s gonna feel so fu-fucking good. You’ll cum so hard, so hard. Trust me. Trust me. F-fuck-” His grip on your hand binds tighter until you feel your wrist bones about to snap, or a violent your orgasm is about to snap. Sukuna thrusts once, twice, and the last final time into your underwear and you both cum at the same time. His semen shoot into your underwear, and your fluids spray out in small squirts."

“There we go- Haha, fuck- You just squirted, wasn’t that nice?” Panting heavily, he rubs your stomach in circles, trying to get you down from the high. You look properly embarrassed, rambling about thinking you peed on him. Is it gross that he wouldn’t mind? Irregardless, squirt has some pee in it.

“Stop, I’m so embarrassed, I’m so embarrassed.” Turning your face away, you whimper. Amused, Sukuna turns your head back to kiss your nose, you nuzzle his face to silently beg for more affection. He gives in and lies beside you, encircling his arms around you and pulling you towards his chest. You do the same and hug his neck. You really like hugging his neck. Or you just really like your boyfriend so you like hugging the place closest to his handsome face.

“I like you so mach. Very mach.” You bite his cheek and he goes ow with a flat tone.

“I like you very much as well.” He dazily grins like cupid had shot him right in the heart.

“…”

“…”

“You know, it’s really impressive that you squirted so quickly.”

“Stop!”

“I’m serious. This is an achievement for the both of us.”

“…Should I tell Nobara about it?”

“Uh, I’d prefer you not to share our bedroom endeavours.”

“But this is so exciting! My first sex! I want to have sex with you everyday!”

“You’re sure getting ahead of yourself.”

“Don’t you want to?”

“I do. It’s just normal to feel thrilled and addicted when you first start.”

“So I’ll get bored of it eventually?”

“I’m 26 and you’re 24. The only time we will stop having crazy hot sex is when we’re dead.”

“I want to keep having hot sex.”

“Orders received.”

“If one day we split-”

“We will stay together and have crazy hot sex everyday.”

“Can I try flavoured condoms?”

“They’re not edible, but also they’re rather ineffective. Smells the same as rubber.”

“Do you have any kinks?”

“Anything involving you, sure.”

“Can you spank me next time?”

“I could spank you right now.”

You giggle and resist Sukuna’s attempt to grab your butt under your fluffy blanket. He laughs and tickles your stomach until you fall off your bed in a thud and he checks if you’re okay. You pretend your hurt your hipbone and does a pouty face, he falls right for the bait and demands to see the bruise. He leans over the edge of the bed and you catch him by surprise, pulling his neck down until he tumbles onto the floor.

“Put you over my knee I shall!”

“Woah, your dick shrunk!”

“It’s soft, stupid girl!”

“So it’s 4 inch right now?”

“I’m gonna get you, I’m really gonna get you.”

Amidst the chaos, your phone buzzes on the table.

Nobara : girl don’t open the door for him when he comes later, ok?

Nobara : i have a bad feeling about this

Nobara : I JUST HEARD A MOAN FROM OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR?

Nobara : DID YOU WEAR PROTECTION?

Nobara : GIRL?