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There were quite a few things that Yuuri had trouble doing. For example, doing a quad Salchow. Even though he’d landed one in the Cup of China it still gave him endless headaches. Also, he had trouble sticking to his diet. How could anyone willingly resist the siren song of Katsudon? However, everything else paled in comparison to Yuuri’s inability to come out to his friends and family.
Yuuri was bisexual. He’d come to that conclusion quite a few years ago after his unrequited crush on Yuko and his enormous celebrity crush on Victor. When he’d been in Detroit practicing under Celestino, he’d had a number of crushes on people whether they were guys or girls.
He’d never thought he’d be able to come out. For one, Japan wasn’t exactly the most LGBT friendly place. Especially not the older generations. On top of that, Yuuri wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle losing friend over whoever he may want to date someday. It was getting more and more difficult to keep his feelings bottled up though. He blamed Victor.
Yuuri had nearly confessed his feelings to Victor three times now. The first time was at the beach when Victor offered to be his lover. He may have overdone his denial of that one. The second time was at his interview after his first competition where he announced the theme of his performance. He’d managed to keep it just ambiguous enough to the point where no one questioned him, but he was glad Victor didn’t fully understand Japanese. Most recently had been at the Cup of China when he’d barely held himself back from kissing the man. Yuuri had managed at the last second to redirect the movement into a forehead bump instead.
It was getting to the point where if he didn’t talk about this to someone soon he might explode. And Yuuri definitely wanted his first time coming out to be with someone he wasn’t in love with.
But maybe it would be okay to tell someone he used to like instead?
~~~
Visiting Yuko and her family was nothing out of the ordinary. Inviting her out to skate together alone however, was something new.
Yuko hadn’t done any complicated figure skating since they were kids, and it had probably been years since she had done anything more complicated than a single Salchow. Yuuri invited her to skate under the guise of helping her do double and triple jumps again. Nishigori had jokingly threatened Yuuri with a lifetime ban from Ice Castle Hasetsu if his wife was injured in any way.
They had been skating for a little more than an hour before Yuuri found a good point in the conversation to bring up what he wanted to say.
It had taken a couple tries, but Yuko had finally managed to land a double toe loop again. She clapped her hands together in celebration. “Wow! I haven’t had this much fun in a while. It really reminds me of when we were kids.” She giggled. “Do you remember when you landed your first double axel? You said ‘I really want to show Victor someday!’ You really were head over heels for him, weren’t you?”
Yuuri laughed nervously. “I… still am actually. Um,” Yuuri took a breath to calm himself, “Yuko, I have to tell you something. Please don’t freak out.”
Yuko immediately skated up to his side with a worried look on her face. “What is it, Yuuri? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just… ugh.” Yuuri hid his face in his hands. “I think I’m bi. Actually I know for a fact that I am.”
There was silence for several seconds and Yuuri was too worried to look at her. But then he felt her arms wrap around his waist in a comforting embrace.
“I’m happy for you, Yuuri.” Yuuri felt tears prickle at the corners of his eyes and he was finally brave enough to look at her. She was smiling kindly back at him. “I think I could have guessed that on my own, but I’m happy you trust me enough to tell me.”
Yuuri hastily wiped the tears away and hugged her back. “You’re the first person I’ve ever told.” He admitted to her. “I just really needed to tell someone, you know?”
Yuko nodded enthusiastically. “I can only imagine how hard it is to hide something like that. Oh!” She started to smirk. “So are you and Victor dating?”
Yuuri’s face turned a deep shade of red. “I just said you’re the first person I’ve told…. I do love Victor. I’m just too afraid to tell him.”
“Aw. I don’t think he’d be upset if you told him!” She reached up to pat Yuuri on the head, and was barely tall enough to do so. “If you decide to ask him out, you’ll have my full support! But don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me.”
Yuuri felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. “Thank you so much. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.”
“Anytime, Yuuri.” She tugged at his arm to get him to start skating again. “Now, help me do a double axel!”
~~~
His next time coming out was less planned.
Yuuri hadn’t practiced together with Minako in a while, so Yuuri decided to pay her a visit at her studio. She had been surprised to see him.
“With how good you’ve been doing, practice with me won’t do you much good,” she said. Regardless, she was happy to let him in.
Yuuri was just checking his phone a final time before putting it away to focus on practice. Victor had sent him a selfie where he was cuddled up with Makkachin at the kotatsu. The caption read: ‘Makkachin misses you already!’
“What are you making that goofy grin for?” Minako appeared from nowhere and snatched up Yuuri’s phone, much to his dismay. “Exchanging love notes with Victor?”
Yuuri flailed as he tried to reclaim his phone. “That’s not it at all!”
To Yuuri’s horror, Minako snapped her own selfie with the phone and seemingly sent it to Victor in return. She tossed the phone back to Yuuri. “I told him I’m stealing his boyfriend for a couple hours.”
“Oh no no no no.” Yuuri quickly went to check his message log. “You didn’t really say that, did you?!”
“Well not those exact words. But it’s close enough.” Minako eyed him suspiciously. “Why are you so worked up about it?”
Yuuri verified that she hadn’t in fact used the word ‘boyfriend’ and sighed in relief. “It doesn’t really matter.”
“Yuuri.” The unbridled disbelief in her voice was clear. “What are you hiding from me?”
Yuuri shrunk back from her piercing gaze. There was no way Minako was dropping the issue now. “If you promise not to tell anyone….”
“You have my word. Now let’s hear it.” She was right up in his face.
“I’m bisexual.” Yuuri said quickly, whipping around to focus on shoving his phone into his bag.
He heard Minako sigh disappointedly behind him. “Is that all?”
“What do you mean by that?” Yuuri argued indignantly. “Do you know how hard it is for me to tell anyone that?”
“I’m not trying to be dismissive!” Minako corrected herself. “I just thought it was going to be something more outrageous. Like maybe you and Victor got married behind everyone’s backs while you were travelling.”
Yuuri stammered for a few second before turning around to face her mischievous grin. “Y-you can’t be serious! I like Victor but I haven’t even-”
“HA. I knew it.” Minako almost cackled at the scandalized look on Yuuri’s face. Yuuri groaned in defeat.
“Can we just practice already?”
“Yeah, yeah.” As Yuuri started to walk away, Minako grabbed him by the shoulder. “Seriously though, I’m fine with it. But you’ll need to get a move on with Victor. He won’t be single forever!”
That last statement rang through Yuuri’s mind through the entire practice.
~~~
It wasn’t even a full day later before Yuuri found his next opportunity.
He’d been browsing twitter on his phone when he was alerted of an incoming video call from Phichit. Yuuri’s face lit up in a bright smile as he tapped to answer.
“Phichit!” He greeted his friend warmly in English. Phichit waved back at him.
“Yuuri! I haven’t heard from you since the Cup of China. You aren’t ignoring me are you?” Phichit pouted jokingly. “How are you? I hope Victor isn’t overworking you with the next competitions coming up!”
“Don’t worry, I’m fine.” Yuuri was glad to have such a thoughtful friend as Phichit (unwarranted Instagram pictures aside). Even when they’d been roommates back in Detroit, Phichit had gone out of his way to involve Yuuri in events and make sure Yuuri was doing well. Now that he thought about it, it probably wouldn’t be too much to be honest with him as well. “Do you have time for me to tell you something?”
Phichit nodded happily. “Yeah, I’ve got a minute. What’s up?”
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone, but I thought you should know. I’m bisexual.” Yuuri held his breath as he watched Phichit’s reaction. The other man didn’t even blink.
“’Bye-sexual’? I don’t think I know that word.” Oh, right. Phichit’s English vocabulary wasn’t quite as extensive as Yuuri’s.
“Ah, bisexual means that I like people of two different genders,” he tried to explain as simply as possible. Now, Phichit’s face lit up.
“Oh, same! I didn’t know there was a word for it in English!” Yuuri was not expecting that reaction, but he definitely wasn’t disappointed. Who would’ve thought? “Are you dating someone then?”
Yuuri shook his head quickly. “Oh, no. I do have someone I’m interested in though.”
Phichit looked intrigued. “I’ll help you ask them out! Just tell me when and I’ll fly out to Japan to meet you!”
“Thanks Phichit, but I don’t think that’ll happen for a while.” Yuuri could only imagine how many photos would end up online if Phichit was present for his eventual confession to Victor. The idea was mortifying. “I think I should go. I’m supposed to go meet up with Victor soon. We’ll talk more later.”
“Okay, Yuuri! And thanks for telling me how to say that in English!” As Yuuri went to end the call, he heard the following conversation on Phichit’s end:
“Hey Celestino! I’m bisexual!”
“HUH?!”
~~~
A week had passed since his chat with Phichit, and since then Yuuri had gotten more busy with the next competition coming up. It was rather late in the evening and he was curled up under the kotatsu exhaustedly after a long practice with Victor. He was going to eat dinner with his mother while Victor took Makkachin for a walk.
His phone buzzed and he found a text from Yuko. She seemed determined to be his wingman.
‘Saw you skating with Victor earlier! Did you tell him yet?’
Yuuri sighed exasperatedly as his mother walked up with a home cooked meal.
“Is something the matter, Yuuri?” She asked sweetly. Yuuri shook his head quickly and happily dug into his meal. His mother joined him, sitting across from him at the kotatsu. “You’ve been looking a little unhappy lately. If anything is wrong, you can always talk to me.”
Yuuri couldn’t meet her eyes out of guilt. He’d always felt terrible hiding things from his mom, and this was no small thing to keep from her.
There was almost no evidence to go by to guess what his mother’s reaction to his coming out would be. Yuuri vaguely remember a gay couple that stayed at the onsen a few years ago, but he didn’t remember his mother or his father reacting negatively to them. His parents were kind people, but if it was their son instead he worried that they’d be upset.
Yuuri knew that he would have to talk to them eventually. Maybe it was time.
“Actually, mom….” He could feel his hand start to shake and he had to set his chopsticks down. “There’s something I really need to tell you.”
His mother looked up from her own meal. “Yes?”
“I should have told you a long time ago but… I like guys. And girls. Both actually.” Yuuri could hear the pitch of his voice go up as his panic increased.
His mother reached across the table to hold his hand with a sigh. “That’s fine, Yuuri. I was expecting to hear this soon. Your father was sure you were going to tell us after the Grand Prix though.”
Yuuri’s sigh of relief was immense. He let himself collapse against the tabletop of the kotatsu, ignoring the pain from the thud his head made against it. If anyone was going to react poorly to his coming out, he was infinitely glad it wasn’t his parents.
“How did you know?” he asked with his voice muffled against the table. His mother laughed.
“Yuuri. I’m your mother. I know these things,” she said. “And I don’t buy my son more than fifty posters of a man in tight outfits to not realize what that means.”
Yuuri blushed. His crush on Victor was that obvious. “I really like Victor, Mom. What should I do?”
“Hm, have you tried talking to Victor yet?” she said after a moment of thought. “Maybe- oh.”
Yuuri looked up in confusion at his mother’s sudden silence. “What’s wrong? Mom?”
His mother tried to nonchalantly gesture at the doorway. Yuuri twisted around in his seat to see Victor standing there.
“I heard my name! What are you talking about?” Victor said cheerfully, pulling off his coat.
Yuuri scrambled out of the room in an instant. Now, he was never more glad that Victor was terrible at Japanese. There was no way he could have missed the atmosphere of that conversation though. Time to avoid his coach for a while.
~~~
Yuuri did not actually manage to avoid Victor for long. He was exhausted and needed rest, so he had to retreat to his room sooner than he would have liked.
And of course, Victor was seated on his bed waiting for him.
“Yuuri.” The man said in a sing-song voice. “I thought I proved that ignoring me doesn’t work. How about we talk, hm?”
There was a moment where Yuuri had half a mind to go sleep outside in the street. But it wouldn’t have resolved anything.
“Okay,” Yuuri acquiesced. He sat beside Victor on the bed. “How much of my conversation did you understand?”
Victor made a sound of contemplation. “Not much. You just sounded nervous.”
“I was….” Yuuri bit his lip. He’d already come out four times now. This should be nothing. “I came out to my mom.”
Victor’s facial expression didn’t change. “Did she take it well?”
Yuuri nodded. Why didn’t Victor sound surprised at all? “She’s okay with the fact that I’m bi.”
Victor clapped his hands together, making Yuuri jump. “That’s wonderful! I’m so proud of you for doing that, Yuuri!” Victor was smiling ear to ear.
“Y-you are?”
“Of course! It’s so brave of you,” Victor said. “I only came out to my family last year. They were okay with it too. Mostly.”
“Wait. You too?!” How many LGBT people did Yuuri not know he was friends with?
“Well, I’m not bi. I’m gay.” Victor’s tone was so nonchalant he could have been talking about anything with no fear. “Russia isn’t very accepting of that so it took me a while to tell them. Yakov knows, and most of my other friends too. I’m surprised the media doesn’t know yet.”
“I didn’t know either….” Yuuri admitted sheepishly. It felt even more stupid that he hadn’t confessed his feelings to Victor yet.
“You didn’t?” Victor looked shocked. “I thought it would be obvious. I’ve been flirting with you for months after all.”
Pinching his arm proved to Yuuri that this wasn’t some strange sort of dream. “Flirting.”
“Yes.”
“With me?”
“That’s what I said.” Victor shrugged. “I thought you were flirting back too but I guess I was mistaken. I thought you were going to kiss me back at the Cup of China!”
Subtlety was clearly not one of Yuuri’s best skills. “…I think I’m going to leave now….”
“Ah, Yuuri wait! I’m not teasing!” Victor pulled him back as he started to stand. “So did you really mean it when you told your mom you like me?”
“I thought you said you didn’t understand!” Yuuri screeched. Victor was laughing now.
“I said I didn’t understand much,” Victor clarified. “I don’t have to be fluent to know what ‘suki’ means. But don’t worry; I like you too.”
Yuuri’s panic settled down in an instant. “You mean it?”
“Of course. I’ve liked you ever since Onsen on Ice!”
Afterwards he realized he could have retorted with how he’d beaten Victor by several years, but at that point he simply settled for silencing Victor with a kiss. Victor was happy to be distracted, and they fell back onto Yuuri’s bed together.
He’d have to tell Yuko about his success in the morning.