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“Just because I don’t show or say that it hurt, doesn’t mean I don’t have any feelings.” Tim’s tone was level as he responded to Jason’s accusation. His hands were steady as he continued stitching the gash on Dick’s forehead.
Dick grimaced. “Are you two really doing this now?”
He felt exposed sitting in the middle of the small room where the singular chair and lamp had been placed. The sound of metal being slammed against the table filled the room.
Dick could hear Jason’s low growl behind him and wished Tim would hurry up so he could escape the looming fight.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Am I just, what? Supposed to believe you?”
Tim tied the end of the stitch. “Believe what you want.” He trimmed the end carefully, not once glancing up to Jason.
“I believe you never actually loved me. That it really was all an act to bring me back into the Bat’s influence.”
Dick shifted uncomfortably, torn between being nosey or running before he was forced to take a side. Ultimately, he opted to be nosey; though, he retreated to the back of the room while they were distracted.
As far as he knew, this was the first time they had been in the same room since the break up. Rumors had flown over the last few months; no one knew why they broke up, or even who did the breaking.
He set about cleaning his gear, keeping Tim and Jason in his peripheral. The tension was thick, threatening to break at any moment.
Tim stared at Jason’s back for a long moment before turning his attention to clean up the med kit. For a few minutes the only sounds in the small safe house was the gentle clang of gear being cleaned and repaired. When Tim slid the med kit back into its place under the floorboards, he turned to face the window, his right side facing Jason.
“It doesn’t matter, does it? You’re the one who ended it. At least now I have some sort of explanation.”
“Explanation?” Jason dropped his helmet to the table and whirled around to face Tim. “You just left! You didn’t ask for an explanation. Because it didn’t matter, you were free of me!”
Dick pocketed his equipment and backed slowly towards the door. The light of the single lamp didn’t reach anywhere near the door, allowing him to hide in the shadows.
“Like I said: believe what you want to.”
“Was any of it real? Any of it?”
Tim sighed. “Just go, Jason.”
“Answer me, dammit!” Now Jason crossed the room, using his height to loom over Tim. “Confirm what I already know. You didn’t want more. You didn’t want to share an apartment, or get a pet, or any of those things couples should want to do.”
Tim stood stiffly, eyes staring straight ahead to the window. “So instead of talking to me you just ended it?”
Jason sneered. “You wouldn’t LET me talk about it.”
“What do you want from me?”
“The truth.” Jason deflated, his shoulders sagging. “Hope?”
“Hope?” Tim turned his head to look up at Jason, his voice just as monotone as it had been all evening. “You insult me then want ‘hope’? For what? That your delusions are real, so you don’t have to feel guilty? If that’s what you need then fine: it was all a lie. I never loved you. I couldn’t stand the idea of living with you.”
Dick knew he should leave, that he was witness to something private. He couldn’t bring himself to do it. Curiosity, mostly. But he also wanted to be there to comfort whoever needed it.
“There. Now just leave me alone.” Tim turned, grabbed his bow staff and moved to the closed window.
Jason grabbed his hand as he pushed the window open. “Tim.”
Tim yanked his hand away, but Jason wasn’t giving up. He gripped Tim’s shoulders, forcing him to turn around and face him.
“Tim.” Jason reached up, brushing gently at his wet cheeks. “Talk to me.”
Tim shook his head. “No reason to.”
“That’s bullshit. Please.”
Tim stepped back to the window and opened it quickly. He paused, the wind blowing his hair. “Do you believe me now? That it hurt?”
With that Tim was gone, out the window and into the night. Dick stepped back into the lit part of the room. Jason continued to stare out the window, not acknowledging his approach until he spoke.
“Jay? You could go after him.”
“No point. Cornering him just backfires.” Jason turned and crossed to the chair in the middle of the room, falling into it without grace.
“Like it just did?” Dick sighed. “Tim wouldn’t have dated you for over a year if he didn’t love you. Never doubt that. I think…. Tonight he was trying to protect himself, Jay.”
“Dick, I still love him. Fuck.” He wiped a hand over his face. “I ruin everything.”
“Jason.” Dick put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Sometimes love isn’t enough. If you weren’t happy, you did the right thing.”
“I was going to… I was going to ask him…” Jason pinched the bridge of his nose. “I still have the ring. It kills me every time I see the box. And he’s acting like it didn’t matter to him that we ended, that he wasn’t the one to walk away.”
“I thought he said you broke up with him?” If someone told Dick a few months ago Jason would be confiding in him
Jason’s head fell back. “Sort of? We were having another fight, he didn’t want to even consider looking for a joint apartment. And I was ready for, well, forever. I said ‘maybe we should just break up then’. And he said ‘fine’ and just… left.”
“… wow.” Dick sunk to the floor next to him. “I mean… Tim being afraid of commitment makes sense. But, he always seemed so happy with you.”
Jason leaned forward in the chair. “What do I do?”
Dick didn’t have an answer for him. Sometimes there wasn’t a happy ending, or even an explanation. The only possible thing was, “Just keep moving forward.”