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Since Ichijou left, Murakami had spent his time longing for Seiya's return. A year ago, probably, he really couldn't recall it well, he rented the old apartment they both shared hoping for him to come home.
Murakami, better than anyone, knew he'd be here if he reached out, nothing guaranteed that. No one told him that, not even Ichijou. But he moved with hope. His everyday life has been boring since.
It was kind of depressing, just like he felt almost every day. Could he go back to his hometown? Sure! Did he? Of course not. Easily he would get a small rest from this back there, but… If Ichijou comes back and he is not here to greet him? The hypothetical situation plays with his mind.
Long walks were a regular part of his life, since his job was awful and actually had time for himself because it was part-time. The parks around now have a completely different meaning, benches where they usually ate the simplest food but felt gourmet thanks to the company… Sigh. Blue hour began and it felt right, he was blue after all.
The park was shining joy, since it was Friday kids were running around and swinging, screams of joy and the innocence of childhood… They used to play like that, well, not exactly. But used to have long talks just sitting on the swings, probably couldn't recall exactly one of them, yet the feeling was intact in his heart.
“So what's your plan if for some reason… One of us leaves?” Ichijoi asked, moving slightly back and forth in the swing.
Murakami looked at the sky, the same blue sky but this time it was morning. Today was one of those days when Ichijou woke up early in an impulse to improve himself with healthy habits, of course he was included. After breakfast they had nothing better to do, and after a small exercise routine both of them sat there.
“I haven't thought that through, it's been almost a year since we moved here so I always make plans with you included.”
“You moron! What are you doing then? Hoping we are together for more years than I calculated?” Ichijou stopped abruptly, Murakami knew that tone as much as he knew what face he was giving to him.
“Kind of, y'know, I don't think including you in my plans is a bad thing. We eat together, almost everything we wanted to do is of interest to both of us. Isn't that a good money saving system?” Murakami said, gazing at Ichijou. He took a brief pause. “And, I was indeed hoping we could live together for a while.”
With that said Seiya seemed to get a thought and actually make a reflection out of that, his eyebrows go down visibly wanting to argue with Murakami. “Well, so you don't have any plans without me. As much as I indeed have some with you in my agenda, I think for myself too.”
He stood up, looking down at the raven haired guy. He stretched his arms rising to the sun that was almost up. “If I am gone tomorrow, what's the first thing you would do?”
“Hmm… Let me give it some thought.”
“Ha! That was what I expected, you don't have anything at all. Not even a backup!” Ichijou said, crossing his arms with elegance. “You could rent something smaller, save money, sell my stuff, look for another roommate.”
“Ulp.” Murakami felt speechless, that was something, yeah. But it was something kinda hard to hear, mostly because he was right. The feeling of selling something that belongs to Ichijou felt wrong, he wouldn't do that even with the opportunity in front of him. “But you will come back eventually.”
“What guarantees you that? I could be the one improving me with a better opportunity in life, I don't want obstacles around! I won't ask for you if I don't need you.”
Was it really like that? That pushy guy didn't need him in the first place, that's right. But only in the beginning. Without noticing they became closer and Ichijou seemed to just keep him around purely for routine, because they were friends.
It was Ichijou himself the one who wanted to unify their futures after he was accepted in Teiai. He was worried indeed after that offer to Seiya, especially after how badly they got treated at the group interview.
His walk ended without noticing at the Sakura apartment. With lights off he lay down on the floor having a thought of that memory just now, it was a bittersweet one. It was a year since they moved here.
It had been almost two years without Ichijou at all, his phone vibrated with a notification. Weird. Since he recalled his life became mostly lonely, only talking with his co-workers specifically for work. It's been months since he went to a karaoke.
With a small hint of curiosity he checked. Today is his birthday, the 22nd of May.
The disbelief of that feeling hit him like a truck, it wasn't his first birthday alone at all. How could he forget it? His family called in the morning with birthday wishes, they sang for him. It was marked on the calendar at the door…How so?
He was mostly working on autopilot today. The guilt of today being important and forgetting it makes him feel bad, but mostly that feeling is moved because he can't spend this day with Ichijou.
Murakami connected the dots now, in the morning out of the blue he bought a tart, the same Ichijou said it was “acceptable” even though he ate most of it on his own birthday. It was inside the small refrigerator, even if he didn't want to admit it, a birthday means a celebration. Even if it is happy. Even if it is sad.
Seated down in front of the dessert with the candle lighting his face clearly tired. He looked at the favorite seat of Ichijou, he always kept his favorite cushion there. He sighed, it's not the same even with the same objects… It's really depressing.
With no further ado, Murakami didn't want to think anymore. So he sang.
“Happy birthday to me,”
A big pause.
“Happy birthday to me,”
Now a shorter one.
“Happy birthday… dear… Murakami,”
He lowered his head, resting his forehead against his interlaced fingers.
“Happy birthday… to me.”