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The heavy oak doors of the Fairy Tail guild hall practically groaned under the weight of Natsu Dragneel’s sudden entrance.
Usually, Natsu kicked the doors off their hinges, punched Gray in the face, and shouted something about being fired up. Today, he slouched across the threshold, his pink hair strangely deflated, his signature white scarf trailing on the floor like a defeated flag. He looked utterly distressed.
He dragged his feet over to the bar, slumping onto a stool and burying his face in his crossed arms with a pathetic, muffled groan.
Silence fell over the immediate radius. Gray, who was currently sitting three stools down in nothing but his boxers, lowered his mug of beer. Gajeel stopped chewing on a stray iron nail.
"Hey," Macao called out from a nearby table, blowing a ring of purple smoke from his pipe. "What’s wrong with you, Natsu? Did Lucy kick you out again?"
"Worse," Natsu groaned into the wood of the bar. "Way worse."
From the second-floor balcony, Laxus leaned against the railing, looking down with a bored but vaguely amused smirk. "Did she finally realize she could do better than your sorry ass and dump you?"
"Shut up, Laxus!" Natsu barked, though the lack of literal fire in his voice only proved how deeply compromised he was. He dropped his chin onto the polished wood of the bar, staring miserably at a scratch in the varnish. "It’s been a year."
"A year since what?" Wakaba asked, leaning back in his chair next to Macao and waving away a cloud of smoke. "Since you last washed that vest?"
"No! Since me and Lucy started... you know. The thing. The dating thing." Natsu’s cheeks flared a sudden, violent shade of crimson that rivaled Erza's hair. He rubbed the back of his neck, refusing to look anyone in the eye. "And I’ve been thinking. She’s always complaining about her rent. And I practically live at her place anyway. So... I want her to just live with me. Permanently. At my house."
For three solid seconds, the entire corner of the guild hall went completely dead silent.
Then, Gray instantly spat his beer across the bar, catching a passing Jet square in the face. Gajeel choked on his iron nail, coughing violently before pointing a finger at Natsu and breaking into a harsh, booming roar of laughter.
"You?!" Gajeel cackled, slamming a heavy metal fist onto the table. "You want a girl to willingly move into that trash heap? Salamander, she’s a princess! She likes things like ‘plumbing’ and having a bed to sleep in!"
"Hey! I cleaned up! I threw away the moldy fish bones last week!" Natsu snapped, his teeth growing sharp as he glared at the iron dragon slayer.
"A REAL MAN DOES NOT LET MOLDY FISH BONES ACCUMULATE IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Elfman yelled, suddenly stomping over from the kitchen with a massive plate of meat. He slammed it down on the bar, looming over Natsu. "But taking the next step in a relationship?! Taking responsibility for the woman you love?! THAT IS WHAT A TRUE MAN DOES! I EXPECTED NOTHING LESS, NATSU!"
"Thanks, Elfman," Natsu muttered, rubbing his ringing ears. "I think."
Before he could sit back up, a heavy arm draped over Natsu’s shoulders. Bickslow slid into the empty stool next to him, his visor gleaming and his floating wooden dolls instantly swarming Natsu’s deflated pink hair. “REAL MAN! REAL MAN!” they chanted in high-pitched voices.
"Are you sure about this, Natsu?" Bickslow grinned, leaning in close. "Women are not easy to live with.”
"Don't listen to him, Flame Brain, he’s been single since the X700s," Gray scoffed, walking over and leaning against the bar. He stared at Natsu, shaking his head in absolute, genuine bewilderment. "Look, I’m still trying to process the fact that you’ve managed to keep Lucy around for a whole year. A whole year! How? Seriously, Natsu, what did you do? Did you threaten her? Did Happy trick her into a celestial contract?"
"We didn't trick her!" Natsu yelled, his fists igniting with a small spark of fire. "Lucy and I love each other! We eat food together, we go on jobs, she hits me when I’m stupid, and she smells really nice—it’s great!"
"It’s a miracle, is what it is," Macao sighed. Him and Wakaba exchanged a look of seasoned, cynical wisdom. "Ah, to be young. Look at him, Wakaba. He thinks it’s just about sharing a roof. The moment a woman moves in, your private space is gone. Suddenly, there are scented candles everywhere. Weird soaps. You can't even scratch yourself in peace."
“I don’t think Ash Breath here, even understands the concept of privacy, so I doubt he cares about that,” Gray didn’t hesitate to add in his two cents, picking a fight with Natsu while he was at it.
“I know what privacy is! Are you looking for a fight, Popsicle?” Natsu rolled up his sleeves, rising to the bait Gray had thrown out.
"Idiots. All of you," Laxus’s deep voice boomed, cutting through the rising chatter as he made his way downstairs. "Though, for once," Laxus continued. "Bickslow actually has a point, Natsu. Living with a girl isn't easy."
Gray crossed his arms, looking up at him with a deeply skeptical eyebrow raised. "And what the hell do you know about living with a girl, Laxus? Last I checked, your house is just you, a giant stack of magazines with naked women on them, and your own ego."
"Hey! Don't count us out!" Bickslow piped up, his visor gleaming as he threw his hands in the air. His floating wooden dolls immediately flew in a tight circle around Gray’s head, mocking him. "We live with Freed! That’s gotta count for something!”
"Freed is a dude," Gray deadpanned, swatting uselessly at one of Bickslow’s babies that was trying to tug on his ear.
"Yeah, well, tell that to his skincare routine and the amount of time he spends in the bathroom," Bickslow retorted, leaning back on his stool with a loud chuckle.
"Listen to them, Salamander," Gajeel chimed in, leaning over the counter and baring his teeth in a wicked grin. He was clearly enjoying Natsu's psychological torture way too much. "They're trying to warn you about the hidden terrors. The things they don't tell you about in the storybooks. Like the shedding."
Natsu blinked, his brow furrowing into a look of pure confusion. "The shedding?"
"Oh, it's brutal," Macao added, shivering dramatically. "Long hair. Everywhere. In the sink, on the rugs, wrapped around your socks. You think you've cleared it all out, and then you wake up choking on a strand of it in the middle of the night."
Natsu puffed out his cheeks, completely unfazed. He waved a dismissive, flippant hand in the air. "Pfft. That’s alright. I already live with Happy, and he drops blue fur all over my hammock when he gets scared. Lucy’s hair can't be that bad."
Laxus let out a sharp, genuine bark of laughter, shaking his head. He leaned his weight onto his forearms against the bar, looking down at Natsu with an expression of profound, dark experience.
"You fool. It's horrible," Laxus said, his voice dropping an octave as if he were recounting a tragedy. "Freed’s hair is everywhere. I find long green strands in my boots, in my protein powder, woven into my soundpods... I found a three-foot-long green hair inside a sealed carton of milk last week. I don't even know how the physics of that work. You think you're prepared for blonde hair everywhere? You aren't."
"See? This is exactly what I'm talking about!" Gray threw his arms up. "And Lucy’s hair is everywhere even now, Natsu! Every time we go on a job, I'm picking blonde strands off my gear for a week!"
"Hey! Don't you go looking at my girlfriend's hair!" Natsu snapped, a protective spark of fire finally flaring up at the tip of his nose.
"Nobody is looking at it, we're dodging it like a trap!" Gajeel barked, leaning his heavy chin on his hand. "And that's just the stuff that drops off 'em. What about the stuff she's gonna bring? You think she's just gonna show up with a backpack? Salamander, she has luggage. Massive, heavy boxes of things. Where are you gonna put it? You don't even have drawers. You keep your clothes in a pile on your sofa."
"It's easy to find that way!" Natsu defended fiercely.
"A REAL MAN PROVIDES A PROPER WARDROBE FOR HIS LADY!" Elfman roared, slamming his fist onto the bar so hard Natsu's stool rattled. "When Evergreen first stayed over at my house to 'discuss strategy,' she demanded a minimum of three clothes racks and a full-length gilded mirror! If you love her, Natsu, you will build her a closet with your bare hands!"
Natsu stared blankly at Elfman.
"Evergreen lives with you?"
"THAT IS NOT THE POINT!" Elfman bellowed, turning bright red and suddenly taking an aggressive interest in eating his massive plate of meat.
"Look, the kid is missing the biggest obstacle here," Macao interjected, exchanging another look with Wakaba before pointing directly at Natsu. "The bathroom, Natsu. Think about the bathroom."
Natsu blinked. "What about it? There's a river right outside my place."
A collective groan echoed through the group of men. Even Laxus pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head in sheer disbelief.
"She is a Heartfilia, you total blockhead," Wakaba sighed, adjusting his pompadour. "She isn't going to bathe in a river with the fish while you splash around next to her. She needs hot water. She needs privacy. And more importantly, she needs time. You know how long it takes a girl to get ready? By the time she finishes rubbing sixteen different lotions into her skin, the sun’s already gone down."
"And the bottles!" Bickslow chimed in eagerly, his dolls doing a little dance. "Bottles on bottles! Lotions and potions! No room for your toothbrush!"
Natsu sat frozen on his stool, his brain short-circuiting as the sheer weight of domestic reality began to crush his spirit. "I... I just wanted to sleep in the same house as Lucy every night," Natsu muttered, his voice uncharacteristically small. He looked down at his calloused, fire-scarred hands, feeling a rare wave of insecurity wash over him. "She's always worrying about her rent and Happy and I end up eating most of her food. I just thought by asking her to live with me at my house, she wouldn’t have to worry about rent again. Also…I—I just like waking up and seeing her there."
The sudden, raw honesty of the statement hung in the air, briefly stunning the chaotic circle into silence. Gray stopped picking at a splinter on the bar, looking at his rival with a softened expression. Gajeel let out a quiet huff, turning his eyes toward the ceiling, while Macao and Wakaba smiled softly, feeling a sudden pang of nostalgia for their own youth.
"Well..." Gray cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck and looking away. "I mean... if you put it like that... it can’t be all terrible. I guess."
"Yeah," Gajeel grunted, though he refused to look at Natsu. "Shrimp makes a lot of noise, but... she's not the worst roommate. At least she cooks stuff that isn't burnt to charcoal."
"A TRUE MAN ACKNOWLEDGES HIS FAITHFUL HEART!" Elfman slammed his fist on the bar. "And honestly, Natsu... if you love her, having her there every morning is... it's a good thing. Even if she makes you use a coaster."
"What's a coaster?" Natsu asked, blinking.
"Don't worry about it, kid," Macao chuckled. "Just know that when a girl moves in, your house stops being a place where you just sleep in, and it actually starts feeling like... well, a home."
"Yeah," Wakaba agreed, blowing a soft puff of tobacco smoke. "Though you're still going to need to buy a real bed, Natsu. If you think Lucy is going to sleep in a hammock with you and a blue cat every night, you've got another thing coming."
"Hey! My hammock is comfortable!" Natsu argued, crossing his arms and pouting. “But how do I ask her to live with me?"
"You want advice?" Gajeel smirked, leaning over and grabbing Natsu by the scarf, pulling him till they were eye level. "Here’s how a real dragon slayer handles it. You don’t ask. You just wait until she’s out, go to her apartment, pack up her desk, and carry it to your house. Mark your territory. When she complains, you just growl at her."
"That’s literally holding her furniture hostage, Gajeel," Gray deadpanned. "And Levy definitely handles one hundred percent of the decisions in your house, so don't act tough."
"You wanna say that again, Ice Boy?!" Gajeel snarled, sparks flying from his jaw.
"Yeah, I do! You're a softie who plays the guitar badly!"
Within seconds, Gray and Gajeel were forehead-to-forehead, sparks crackling between them. Everyone else just ignored them.
"You’re not dating anyone ordinary, Natsu," Macao chipped in, nodding sagely. "Lucy? She’s got high standards. You’ve gotta woo her. You need a speech. You need to dress up in a suit, buy a massive bouquet of those expensive white roses, and kneel."
Natsu’s face contorted into utter disgust. "A suit? Kneeling? I'm not asking her to marry me, I'm just asking her to put her books in my shack!"
"Listen to me," Bickslow grinned, leaning in close. "You can’t just ask her. Women are tricky. Their souls are complex. You’ve gotta use a little mystique. Hypnotize her a little bit. Maybe put a little love potion in her tea so she thinks the damp smell of your cottage is actually a field of flowers."
"You’re all overcomplicating it. Just tell her to pack her bags. Though, personally, I give it three days before she realizes she’s dating a glorified campfire and moves into a hotel." Gray shrugged as the men began taking bets on how many days Lucy would put up with him.
"Shut up, Stripper! I'll fight you!" Natsu roared, pointing up at him.
"Enough," Laxus’s deep voice cut through the mounting rowdiness. He looked down at Natsu, his expression surprisingly understanding. "Quit listening to these idiots," Laxus said, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're overthinking it, and they're making it worse. Just tell her exactly what you said a minute ago."
Natsu blinked his large, dark eyes, shifting his gaze from a smirking Bickslow to the lightning dragon slayer. "What I said a minute ago?"
"Yeah," Laxus muttered, shifting his weight. "The part about the rent. And wanting her there when you wake up. You're a dumbass, but you're an honest one. Blondie’s too soft-hearted to say no to that sappy crap anyway."
"Hey! Who's sappy?!" Natsu protested, though the tips of his ears turned a faint shade of pink.
"Laxus is right, Natsu," Gray chimed in, stepping back from his staring contest with Gajeel, though he still hadn't put his pants back on. "If you try to do some fancy suit-and-roses routine, you'll just look ridiculous. Just be normal. Well... as normal as you can get."
"A TRUE MAN SPEAKS DIRECTLY FROM HIS HEART!" Elfman boomed, slapping a hand on Natsu’s back. "GO TO HER, NATSU! AND CHALLENGE HER TO A DUEL!"
"A duel?!" Gray, Laxus, and Gajeel all shouted in unison, their collective exasperation echoing off the rafters.
"Yeah!" Natsu's eyes lit up, his fist instantly catching fire. "A moving-in duel! If I win, she has to pack her bags! If she wins... wait, if she wins, I still get to fight her!"
"Don't challenge your girlfriend to a match just to ask her to move in, you idiot!" Gray yelled, finally realizing he was in his boxers and grabbing a random table runner to wrap around his waist. "That is the exact opposite of what Laxus just said!"
"Actually," Gajeel chuckled, a devious smirk crossing his face as he crossed his arms, "I want to see how this plays out. Go get 'em, Salamander. Fight for your territory."
"Don't encourage him," Macao groaned, rubbing his temples while Wakaba shook his head in pity.
Laxus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose so hard his knuckles turned white. "Natsu. If you challenge her to a fight, she is going to lock her doors, summon that perverted cow of hers to throw you into the canal, and never speak to you again. Just tell her how you feel. No magic and absolutely no duel."
Natsu blinked, the fire in his hands fizzling out into little wisps of smoke as he actually processed the advice. He looked around at the circle of men. For all their mocking, the terrible advice, and the weird horror stories, they were all looking back at him with various degrees of rough, unspoken support.
His pink hair practically bounced back to its usual gravity-defying spikes. A massive, toothy grin began to split across his face, and a sudden, violent burst of flames erupted from his shoulders, completely singeing the wooden counter of the bar.
"YEAH! You're right!" Natsu shouted, leaping off the stool and slamming his flaming fists together. "I'm just gonna go find her right now and tell her to pack up her stuff because she's moving into my house!"
"Wait, Natsu, don't phrase it like tha—!" Gray started, reaching out a hand, but it was entirely too late.
"I'M ALL FIRED UP NOW!" Natsu roared.
With a loud, booming laugh, he pivoted on his heel, sprinted down the center aisle of the guild hall, and kicked the heavy oak front doors completely off their hinges. He vaulted over the threshold, bolting out into the Magnolia sunshine, leaving a literal trail of smoke and scattered splinters in his wake.
The huddle of men at the bar stood in a stunned, smoke-filled silence, staring out at the gaping, empty doorway.
"A hundred jewels says she kicks him into the canal within five minutes," Gray muttered, breaking the silence.
"Two hundred jewels says she hits him with a Lucy Kick before he can even finish his sentence," Gajeel countered, crossing his arms with a sharp smirk.
"I'm taking both those bets!" Bickslow laughed, his babies instantly swarming in a tight circle. "Lucy Kick! Lucy Kick!"
Right on cue, the kitchen doors swung open and Mirajane emerged, holding a fresh tray of drinks. She paused, her blue eyes scanning the completely empty, drafty space where the guild hall's massive front doors used to be. Then, she slowly turned her gaze toward the huddle of men gathered around the bar.
She offered them a sweet, blindingly cheerful smile that sent a collective shiver down all of their spines. "Alright, boys," Mira purred, her voice dripping with a gentle, terrifying malice. "Which one of you is paying for the carpentry bill this time?"
Without a single second of hesitation, every man at the bar pointed a finger directly at Gray.
"HE'S NOT EVEN WEARING PANTS, MIRA, HE'S CLEARLY THE COPULA!" Gajeel shouted.
"THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD, IRON HEAD!" Gray yelled back, frantically looking around for his trousers.
As the guild hall descended into its standard, chaotic brawl, Natsu was already sprinting down the cobblestone streets of Magnolia, his heart hammering against his ribs, entirely focused on a single thought. Asking Lucy to move in with him.
By the time he reached Strawberry Street, his boots were practically smoking against the cobblestones. He didn't slow down. He scaled the side of her building in three fluid bounds, bypassing the front door entirely.
He threw open her window with a dramatic bang, landing squarely on her hardwood floor in a crouch. "Lucy! I have a proposition—"
He cut himself off. Lucy was sitting at her desk, a pen clutched in her hand and a mountain of crumpled reference papers scattered around her chair. She didn't jump or scream at the intrusion like she usually did. She slowly turned her head, looking at him with heavy, dark circles under her eyes and an expression of pure, unadulterated exhaustion.
"Natsu," she said, her voice dangerously calm. "I have been trying to finish this chapter since six in the morning. If you are here to ask me where Happy hid your spare vest, I will personally throw you into the canal."
Natsu choked on his speech. All the momentum he had built up sprinting across Magnolia suddenly ground to a halt. He looked at her tired eyes, then down at the crumpled papers, and suddenly the chaotic advice of the guild men flashed through his mind.
Slowly, the flame in his spirit shifted from a wild roar to a warm, steady hearth. He closed the window behind him, stepped carefully over her scattered papers, and approached her desk. He reached out, gently taking the pen from her stiff fingers, and set it down. Then, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind, leaning his chin over her head and letting his natural dragon slayer heat radiate into her chilly room.
"You're working too hard, Luce," he muttered softly, his usual loud voice dropping to that rare, quiet tone he only ever used with her. "Is it because of your rent again?"
Lucy blinked, her rigid shoulders instantly melting into his warmth. She let out a long, ragged sigh, leaning back against his chest. "Yeah, the landlady just raised it again. If I don't sell this short story by the end of the month, I'm going to be living out of a suitcase."
"Good," Natsu said.
Lucy stiffened, trying to turn her head to glare at him. "What do you mean good, you jerk?!"
"I mean, you should pack that suitcase," Natsu said, his arms tightening around her just a little bit, holding her close. He swallowed hard, his heart suddenly doing a nervous flip-flop against his ribs as he forced the words out. "Don't pay the rent. Just... bring your boxes of flower soaps and your weird novel papers over to my place. For good."
Lucy went completely still. "Natsu... what are you saying?"
"We've been doing the dating thing for a year, Luce," Natsu mumbled into her blonde hair, his face growing incredibly hot. "And it's stupid that you're all the way over here stressing about jewels when my house is free. Happy already agreed to share the fish. And... I don't like walking all the way across town just to see you. I want to just wake up and have you there. Every day."
The silence in the room stretched on for so long that Natsu’s internal panic started to flare. "I mean! I can build a closet!" Natsu added frantically, his voice rising in panic. "Elfman said I gotta build a closet with my bare hands! And I'll buy a real bed! A massive one! And you don't have to bathe in the river, I'll figure out how to make hot water happen without exploding the pipes, I swear—!"
"Natsu," Lucy interrupted, her voice cracking slightly.
He shut his mouth instantly, bracing himself for the inevitable Lucy Kick.
But when she turned around in her chair to face him, there were tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, and she was biting her lower lip to keep from sobbing. A brilliant, radiant smile broke across her face. "You went to the guild for advice, didn't you?" she asked, a watery laugh escaping her.
"Gajeel told me to kidnap your desk," Natsu admitted honestly, rubbing the back of his neck.
Lucy let out a loud, genuine laugh, reaching up to bury her hands in his messy pink hair, pulling him down until their foreheads rested together. "You are such an idiot. A complete, total blockhead."
"So... is that a yes, or do I gotta go fight the others now?"
"It's a yes, you dummy," Lucy whispered, closing the distance and kissing him thoroughly, tasting the faint hint of smoke and warmth that always followed him. When she pulled back, she wiped her eyes, looking around her cramped apartment with a sense of profound relief. "But you are absolutely buying a real bed. And if I find a single fish bone in the couch, you and Happy are both sleeping outside."
"Deal!" Natsu beamed, his entire face lighting up as he hoisted her out of her chair and spun her around, making her shriek with laughter.
An hour later, the front doors of the Fairy Tail guild hall were still missing, and Gray was currently trying to use a wooden barrel as a shield against Gajeel's iron clubs.
Suddenly, Natsu walked through the open threshold, a smug, victorious grin plastered across his face. Behind him, Lucy walked in, shaking her head but smiling fondly as she carried a small stack of her favorite books.
The entire guild hall went quiet. Gray lowered his barrel. Gajeel stopped mid-swing.
Natsu walked right up to the bar, slammed his fist down, and looked directly at the group of men he had been talking to earlier. "Pay up, losers," he roared proudly, throwing his arm around Lucy’s waist and pulling her flush against his side. "She said yes! And I didn't even have to use a love potion!"
Gray stared in absolute, jaw-dropped disbelief. "No way. There is no actual way."
Gajeel reached into his pockets, grumbling under his breath as he tossed a handful of jewels onto the counter. "Tch. Sappy bastard actually pulled it off."
From the second floor, Laxus raised his mug in a silent, respectful toast, a small smirk playing on his lips.
Lucy looked around at the scattered money, the singed bar counter, and the guilty faces of the guild men. She raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. "Wait a minute... did you guys actually bet on our relationship?!"
"It was Gray's idea!" Bickslow instantly shouted, his dolls chanting, "Gray's fault! Gray's fault!"
"IT WAS NOT!" Gray yelled, but before he could defend himself, a rogue burst of fire from a very happy, very fired-up Natsu sent him diving across the hall to find his pants.