Work Text:
The sufferers (buddie witnesses)
Ravi: guys
Ravi: guys
Ravi: 😓
Chimney: What
Hen: We’re here.
Ravi: something homosexual is happening here
Hen: Isn’t it always.
Chimney: Honey he gay
Ravi: i hate that you know what memes are
Chimney: I’m not ancient
Ravi: wtv you say dinosaur 😘
Ravi: anyways
Ravi: like i was saying
Ravi: something homosexual is happening
Ravi: something of the buckandeddie type
Hen: Again. Isn’t it always?
Ravi: 👆 no
Ravi: i mean yes
Ravi: but its different
Ravi: buck and eddie are making Weird Eyecontact
Ravi: like they know something we don’t
Josh: Is this really worth blowing up my phone for
Chimney: I forgot you were here
Josh: you wound me
Ravi: ANYWAYS
Ravi: buck started saying something about “dinner on friday” and a “good end”
Ravi: and then they got quiet and just started looking at each other
Ravi: istg buck looks like a tomato
Ravi: he’s blushing like crazy
Message between Bobby Nash and Chimney Han
Chimney: Have you noticed anything off about Buck and Eddie recently?
Bobby: No? -Bobby Nash
The sufferers (buddie witnesses)
Chimney: Cap doesn’t know anything about it
Hen: Chimney.
Ravi: you brought cap into this?
Chimney: He’s not blind!
Josh: a blind person could see the tension between those two
Josh: it’s like a fog of homoerotic tension
Ravi: youre not even here
Josh: and i can still see the tension
Message between Eddie Diaz and Evan Buckley
Buck: eddiiieeee
Buck: eddie
Eddie: Hello
Buck: my beautiful wife
Buck: what do you think about telling everyone
Eddie: Why are we having this conversation over text
Buck: because hen is in the room
Buck: she’s looking at me like she knows something
Eddie: She probably does
Buck: sooooo
Buck: what do you think?
Eddie: It’s probably time
Buck: I mean …
Buck: we could always have some fun before we need to tell them
The sufferers (buddie witnesses)
Hen: WHAT
Ravi: yes hello
Hen: Buck has been staring at his phone and this man just let out a giggle.
Ravi: grown ass man
Hen: I asked who he was talking to and he said Eddie.
Chimney: Not the craziest thing they have done
Hen: BUT THEN he shows me a text from Eddie confirming some meet up they’re doing
Hen: AND EDDIE’S CONTACT NAME HAS TWO HEARTS AND A KISSY FACE BY IT
Ravi: liar
Chimney: Liar
Josh: liar
Hen: I’m not lying. I don’t know if I’m shocked or I already knew it.
Chimney: We need to call in an expert
[Chimney added Maddie Buckley to the group]
Maddie: What is this?
Ravi: uh
Josh: the chat where we discuss buck and eddie’s weird gay friendship
Maddie: So it’s not only me
Maddie: Wait Josh?
Maddie: Why are you here?
Josh: i know things
Chimney: Not relevant
Chimney: Apparently Buck has Eddie saved in his phone with two hearts and a kissing face
Maddie: Knowing Buck, it could just be a weird joke
Ravi: we need to confirm
Ravi: we need to get eddie’s phone and see what he has buck saved as
Chimney: I haven’t seen him
Hen: No eyes on Eddie?
Hen: Also Buck disappeared.
Ravi: no he’s gone
Ravi: ill go look
Maddie: So we just wait for something to happen?
Hen: That is normally how it goes.
Ravi: WHAT
Ravi: I NEED EYE BLEACH
Ravi: AND VODKA
Ravi: AND A THERAPIST
Chimney: What is it
Ravi: IM QUITTING
Ravi: JUMPING OFF THE ROOF
Hen: Ravi.
Ravi: oh hey guys
Hen: Hi?
Maddie: What happened?
Ravi: i found buck and eddie
Ravi: together
Ravi: in the storage closet
Chimney: No
Ravi: yes 👍
Ravi: ive seen more of buck than i ever wanted to
Maddie: Tell me about it
Hen: So they’re together?
Ravi: they were pretty together
Chimney: Ew
Chimney: Wait. The bet. Ravi check the spreadsheet
Ravi: i have someone down here for workplace violation
Ravi: …
Chimney: Who is it?
Ravi: 😶
Hen: Who.
Ravi: … its bobby?
Ravi: who told him about the bet
Chimney: Um
Hen: Come on Chim I had a lot of money on this.
Ravi: caps bringing in a good hundred bucks (ha)
Maddie: Damn
Ravi: rip our wallets
Message between Bobby Nash, Eddie Diaz, and Evan Buckley
Bobby: Congratulations. Papers are in my office and we will be talking about workplace boundaries and what will happen to you if you ever break them (Buck) -Bobby Nash
Buck: hello?
Buck: bobby?
Buck: I’m going to die
The sufferers (buddie witnesses)
Josh: just got on a break and maddie’s giving me weird looks
Josh: what happened?