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As Jotaro turned the page of his book, he wasn't enjoying the story but they were forced to end the day early by a sudden and violent rainstorm and he had to pass the time somehow since the same storm was ruining the television reception, a short squeak interrupted the dull silence. He lowered the dog eared paperback and glanced around the room. Nothing seemed out of place, the balcony curtain was still shut against the pounding rain and the odd twilight it brought; the hotel room door, bathroom door, and closet were still shut. His roommate was lying with his back to him, unmoved.
Jotaro marked the noise as nothing dangerous. He could be proven wrong, he often was, still Jotaro tried to be vigilant since Stands came out of fucking nowhere. The situation was a miilion ways fucked up, but the most annoying was how exhausting keeping up with all the little shit was. He went back to his book. Another squeak, and another in quick succession, made Jotaro skip around the page. Jotaro glared across the room, now knowing where the sound was coming from, but the figure hadn't moved. What was that noise? Was he crying? It didn't really sound like a sob.
Kakyoin's shoulders jumped and he gave another squeaking sound.
"Are you alright?" Jotaro asked.
Jotaro's voice made Kakyoin jump, too, "Sorry." Kakyoin looked over his shoulder dolefully at Jotaro before he gave another squeak.
It was hiccups. Now that Kakyoin was facing him Jotaro could hear the little gasp that came with his spasms.
"Sorry again." He apologized unnecessarily, "I was eating some of that bread your grandfather bought and I didn't take a drink fast enough. The dryness caught up with me."
Every third or fourth word was punctuated by another squeak.
"Good grief." Jotaro sighed, "Hold your breath or somethin'."
"I tried that already." Kakyoin said sulkily as he turned back away "Please endeavor to ignore them until they peter out."
The squeaking continued irregularly. Kakyoin didn't have as deep a voice as Jotaro, but it was mellow enough that the pitched hiccups were completely out of place. His melodramatic apologies aside, Kakyoin had mentioned his body was still sore so they probably pulled uncomfortably on him.
Jotaro set the book aside for good, "Did you try drinking water while holding your breath?" He asked.
"Wha-at?" Kakyoin squeaked, looking embarrassed that another hiccup had broken his response.
“Did you drink while holding your breath?” Jotaro repeated.
“Yeah, I tried that before you returned.” Kakyoin answered.
Jotaro had gone with Polnareff to a sheltered outdoor area to smoke after they'd checked into the hotel, while Kakyoin had come up to the room. They were the only ones sharing this time, everyone else had a single. Jotaro hadn't fought against sharing with Kakyoin, he was usually quiet.
Kakyoin gave a rather loud hiccup, adding an uncomfortable grunt.
"What number are you up to?" Jotaro asked.
Kakyoin rolled over this time to face Jotaro, "Of hiccups? I'm not counting." He answered, one red brow lifting.
"It'll be a surprise, then." Jotaro responded.
"What will? Why are you talking in riddles this afternoon!" Kakyoin snapped, his hiccups increasing with his ire.
Jotaro held back a smile, "When you die. Don't you know if you hiccup a hundred times, you die?"
"Oh!" Kakyoin squeaked again, his expression still annoyed, "Don't tease me with old superstitions like that!"
Jotaro couldn't help laughing, "Well, we know unexpected questions don't work now."
"You didn't get me to say soy beans, so I'm not sure they counted." Kakyoin's irritation eased when he shared a jumping laugh with Jotaro.
"Maybe Gramps knows a way to stop hiccups." Jotaro swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood, grabbing his hat but leaving his gakuran behind as it was still damp from the rain.
Kakyoin swiftly rose as well, leaving his own reading material splayed on the bed. He'd borrowed a comic from Polnareff. Jotaro had read that one already, it was cartoony and maybe the term ‘read’ wasn't really right considering it was in Dutch, but it was something different. Really, Jotaro liked detective stories best, and didn't much care for his grandfather's super hero comics, so he tried not to seem too picky. The book he had now would be given over to Kakyoin next and then probably Avdol. It’d been in the same local shop the dry bread had come from, along with Jotaro’s cigarettes. Joseph didn’t complain about any small purchases, except for the cigarettes, and even those he bought without fail.
Standing, Kakyoin's hiccups gained a little more depth, but remained squeaky. Besides the sound being amusing to Jotaro, he noted Kakyoin seemed embarrassed to be out of control about something. As they left the room, Kakyoin made sure his gakuran was buttoned all the way to the top, and he smoothed his hair.
Joseph’s room was three doors down, and it took him several minutes to answer Jotaro's knock.
“Ah! Jotaro!” Joseph boomed when he opened the door, looking more rumpled than usual. He might have been napping.
Jotaro dodged a hug by shoving Kakyoin forward, turning the old man's action into an awkward pat on the shoulder.
“Hello, Kakyoin, boyo. What do the two of you need? Some money? For more snacks?” Joseph asked, patting his pockets for a bill fold he probably set aside in the room somewhere.
“No!” Kakyoin’s protest against more dry snacks was harsh from the hiccup at the end.
“Kakyoins got bad hiccups.” Jotaro said.
“They won't quit, huh?” Joseph gave Kakyoin's shoulder a squeeze before dropping his arm, “The best way to get rid of hiccups is to drink upside down from the other side of a cup.”
Kakyoin hiccuped softly, looking confused.
“You playin’ a prank, old man?” Jotaro had no idea what Joseph meant, either, and felt baited.
"No, no, it works!" Joseph insisted, "Lay on the bed, Kakyoin, c'mon. I’ll show you how."
They stepped into the room. The bed was messy, proof Joseph had been lying down. Today was a forced day of rest, but maybe they needed it. It’d been a shitstorm since they left Japan, it was only a matter of time until one of them got hurt bad enough that they had to be left behind. Jotaro hoped it wasn’t Kakyoin.
“Okay so, first,” Joseph flipped the blanket back over the bed and led Kakyoin to lay down on his back, “You hang over the bed upside down, do that and I’ll get the water.”
Kakyoin slid over the edge of the bed until the top of his head almost touched the carpet, his long forelock pooled in a circle and his bangs flipped. His brow was pinched as his body stretched and the hiccups wracked him.
“Good, very good, now,” Joseph crouched next to Kakyoin with a small grunt and held out a complementary hotel cup full of tap water, “I’ll hold it for you. See how I’m tilting it away so the water tilts back? You need to drink out of that side of the cup instead of the front.”
“Mr. Joestar,” Kakyoin tried to interject.
“Don’t even ask if you can use a straw, that’s cheating and your hiccups won’t go away.” Joseph talked over him.
Jotaro couldn’t hide his amusement this time, and Kakyoin glared over Joseph’s shoulder when he noticed Jotaro’s expression.
“Take a drink, Kakyoin, take a drink. Like I said, I’ll help you by holding the cup.” Joseph coached.
Kakyoin’s chin jutted and retreated, trying to judge the right way to drink from a cup tilted the wrong direction. He managed by sticking his lips out comically and sucking some water. A hiccup threatened the process at the same moment he tried to swallow the water, and Kakyoin sputtered like a man being tortured. He rolled over, gasping for air.
“If you don’t swallow, it won’t work, either.” Joseph said.
“Mr. Joestar, there’s no way I can swallow upside down!” Kakyoin complained, trying to catch his breath around both hiccups and the partial waterboarding.
“Sure you can! It works, I tell you. Just try one more time, Kakyoin.” Joseph said.
“No, thank you, Mr. Joestar.” Kakyoin sat up.
At least Kakyoin had learned quickly to say no to Joseph, it made things easier in the long run to shut the old man’s insistences down before they snowballed into complete humiliation.
“It works, though.” Joseph pouted.
“Sorry, Mr. Joestar, I just don’t think I’m capable.” Kakyoin said, fixing his hair once more.
The bouncy curl on the side of Kakyoin’s face swung back in place. The forelock was a little frizzy from the humidity already today and the carpet had mussed it further. Jotaro wondered if the other boy’s hair was soft. It looked soft.
“Well, then, I suppose you’ll have to wait the hiccups out.” Joseph shrugged, taking a gulp of the water himself from the wrong side of the cup with no effort.
“I guess so.” Kakyoin agreed, unimpressed.
When they’d stepped out of Joseph’s room, Kakyoin let his shoulders droop a bit. Joseph wore on him, too. The only person Jotaro had ever seen who seemed to be able to stand Joseph long-term was his mother. Even Grandma Suzi was happy to see Joseph off on business trips most times so she had some peace and quiet.
“Maybe Polnareff knows a way.” Jotaro mentioned.
Kakyoin’s shoulders drooped further, but agreed to ask. They didn’t know the Frenchman very well yet, but he was an open book so Jotaro knew the man meant no harm even if he was being annoying. He and Kakyoin were like dogs and monkeys, though, their two personalities clashing. Despite the verbal dress downs Kakyoin seemed to dole out to him, Polnareff got on well with them all. Jotaro wasn’t sure his quest for vengeance would carry him all the way to DIO with the rest of them, but that fight really was only Jotaro and his grandfather’s to fight anyway.
Polnareff opened the door almost immediately after Jotaro’s knock.
“Ah, Jotaro! Want to go for another cigarette so soon? You should cut down, or your teeth will rot, you know? Cigarettes are an accent to your day, not to replace all your meals, yeah?” Polnareff rambled.
That bossy way was one of the reasons he and Kakyoin bickered. Kakyoin hated to be told what to do. To Jotaro, the other Stand users were like upperclassmen, they’d been born with Stands and understood them more innately than he did. But Kakyoin did things his own way, and set himself aside, instead of above or below anyone, especially below.
“No cigarettes.” Jotaro shook his head.
“Good, I’m almost out anyway. I don’t think I could stand another of those you’ve got.” Polnareff showed his secondary motivations for his lecture, and his earlier ‘curiosity’ that forced Jotaro to give him one of his own cigarettes. He never hid a damn thing. “Oh! Kakyoin, you’re here too?”
Kakyoin responded with a hiccup.
“What was that? Squeaky mouse!” Polnareff lit up in a laugh.
Kakyoin’s forehead creased.
“Kakyoin’s hiccups won’t go away.” Jotaro explained.
“I know the solution to that!” Polnareff grabbed Kakyoin by the elbow and pulled him into the room.
Jotaro followed. The hotel room was trashed with the contents of Polnareff’s small pack, and smelled of his cologne. His balcony curtain was open, the man was probably watching closely to see if the rain let up a little so he could go out and harass some poor woman with his wooing. Jotaro didn’t know if all Frenchmen were like that, but Polnareff chased women habitually. It seemed insincere and desperate. Jotaro wouldn’t be caught dead acting like that.
“So, to get rid of stubborn hiccups,” Polnareff started, “You have to get to the root of what started them.”
“They’re a spasm of the diaphragm that causes in takes of air and the closing of the vocal cords.” Kakyoin said studiously through the squeaks, “I just irritated my nerves by eating something too dry. What does knowing the involuntary spasms-”
“Non, non, non!” Polnareff wagged his finger in Kakyoin’s face, like a fool inciting an angry animal to bite, “That might have started the hiccups, but if they don’t go away, then the cause is something else.”
“What?” Kakyoin barked.
“Persistant hiccups mean that someone is talking about you.” Polnareff proclaimed.
Kakyoin’s face said ‘bullshit’ even though he didn’t say it.
“What you have to do is list all the people close to you, and when you reach the person who is talking about you, your hiccups will stop.” Polnareff explained, “You’re then supposed to talk to the person if you can, and make sure they’re not saying anything bad about you.”
“You want me to just list the people I know?” Kakyoin said incredulously.
“Oui!” Polnareff nodded.
“And that’s supposed to make my hiccups go away.” Kakyoin said.
“Oui!” Polnareff repeated, “Just try it, you’ll see, it works! Just do it in a clear voice and you’ll be done with the hiccups in no time. I have to use the bathroom real quick, but go ahead and start. I want to know who’s talking about you.” Polnareff gestured Kakyoin to try as he walked around him towards the bathroom.
"Mother, Father," Kakyoin began dully, obviously humoring the man.
Polnareff turned back from the bathroom door and approached Kakyoin on his toes, his quiet footfalls lost in the drone of Kakyoin's voice. Jotaro knew what was coming. He probably should have stopped it.
"Mr. Joestar, Mr. Av-"
"Boo!" Polnareff startled Kakyoin with a shout and a grab.
In defense of being touched, Kakyoin threw his elbows back and hit Polnareff in the chest. He turned around and looked coldly at Polnareff having a coughing fit on the floor, hiccups quietly continuing.
“You bastard!” Polnaeff howled, “It was just a little scare to chase the hiccups away! It always worked with my sister, god, why are you so violent?”
They left Polnareff's room under French swearing and the occasional cough, Kakyoin shutting the door on it.
“Well, should we ask Avdol?” Jotaro asked, “Since we tried the rest.”
Kakyoin sighed and hiccuped at the same time, “Why not?”
Jotaro thought it was at least an amusing way to pass the time. Much better than that tired novel he’d been reading.
“Just a moment.” Avdol called when Jotaro knocked on the door to his room. It took him a few moments to appear. “Jotaro.” Avdol gave a nod in greeting, “And Kakyoin. What can I do for you?”
“I’ve got some hiccups that won’t quit, Mr. Avdol.” Kakyoin spoke up first this time, “We asked the others and they were useless to help. You’re my last hope.”
Avdol stepped out into the hall with them, “Hiccups, you say.”
“Yes.” Kakyoin nodded.
"That’s simple enough. Give your hiccups to me." Avdol held out his hand.
"Eh?" Kakyoin looked utterly confused.
"Give them to me." Avdol repeated, reaching closer with his cupped hand.
"I don't understand." Kakyoin said, hiccuping hard in his nervousness of letting Avdol down. He did look up to Avdol as a Stand user, though they didn’t always agree on application of the power.
"Ah, well, you had no intention of giving them to me so it won't work after all." Avdol sighed and dropped his hand, "If holding your breath doesn't work, sometimes it helps to massage your neck. Along the sides and the back." He demonstrated on himself, his connected earrings and necklace softly clinking.
Like Kakyoin, Avdol kept his appearances up, though there was a warmth to the man that was good humor and literal heat, which most likely came from Magician’s Red. Kakyoin and Hierophant Green were cooler creatures.
"Hic-ere?" Kakyoin tried copying.
"A bit further back." Avdol corrected.
Kakyoin pressed lightly with his fingers along his neck.
"You need more pressure than that." Jotaro rumbled, pulled his hand from his pocket, and palmed the back of Kakyoin's neck.
He had to stick his fingers into Kakyoin’s gakuran collar, but he followed Avdol’s example. Kakyoin's hiccups stopped, but his face burst red.
"Did I press too hard?" Jotaro asked.
"N-no, just surprised me." Kakyoin stuttered.
"Mnh." Jotaro grunted.
"Your- uh, your hand is really warm." Kakyoin said.
"Nh." Jotaro acknowledged and lifted his palm from the back of Kakyoin's neck, tucking his hand back into his pocket.
"That seems to have solved your problem, Kakyoin." Avdol grinned at the two of them, "I will see you at dinner."
"Thank you, Mr. Avdol." Kakyoin gave a polite bow, face still flushed.
Jotaro tipped his head a bare fraction as Avdol slipped back into his hotel room.
They headed back towards their own room. Maybe Jotaro would take a page from his grandfather and have a nap. Now that Kakyoin’s hiccups were gone, he’d probably manage one before dinner. The strain had been getting to him before this little excursion, but Jotaro felt a better mood now.
“We should have gone to Mr. Avdol first.” Kakyoin said, “Of course he knew how to take care of them.”
Jotaro gave a hum. He didn’t quite believe in Avdol knowing everything like Kakyoin did, but then, Jotaro wasn’t looking for a mentor like Kakyoin seemed to. He and Avdol often had long discussions about Stands and other topics, to the point that if they needed to share rooms with three, Jotaro chose his grandfather over their continued chattering. Kakyoin was a bit of a talker, however, and Jotaro wasn’t one to give him that sort of interaction. He listened when he could, but it was good they all had one another.
“Those hiccups didn’t help my sore muscles any, though.” Kakyoin complained as they reached their room, “I was going to wait until after dinner for a shower, but maybe I’ll take one now. Heaven knows I have no idea what’s going on in that comic book since I can’t understand a single word. It’s almost English, but I’m not very good at reading English so it’s kinda like trying to read through moving water.”
“Kakyoin.” Jotaro said, removing his hat and tossing it at the bedside table.
“Yes?” Kakyoin turned back from his bag.
"Sure you're alright? Your face is still red." Jotaro pointed out.
“Y-yes, I-I’m fine!” Kakyoin, without hiccups to blame, squeaked, “Thank you for thinking of my wellbeing, but I am fine. I am.”
Kakyoin rushed away to take his shower, and Jotaro decided he wouldn’t take a nap or go back to his book. He wanted to spend a little more time with Kakyoin, instead.